He's A Good Man, But I Don't Feel A Spark. Should I Give Him a Chance? | Hot Seat w/Jonathon
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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He's A Good Man, But I Don't Feel A Spark. Should I Give Him a Chance? | Hot Seat w/Jonathon
Definitely give him a chance I've been there and it can definitely spark later and turn into a bonfire 😅
Agreed
Here’s my opinion on not feeling a spark. Meet
Him for coffee and no spark but he’s a great guy…have another coffee
Date or
Try a different scene and then decide. Sometimes a great guy isn’t giving off
The “whoa” vibes at first because of nerves..so give him a second chance!!
Spark sometimes grows...
Exactly Jonathan and it’s so damn difficult to find a good man…so why not a second and third chance??
@@JonathonAslay Any two people mildly attracted to each other..given enough time spent with each other...3,6,12 months?...I believe can "fall in love" with each other. This would be though in a normal world...not in the new normal we're living in
I love this video. I met my husband on a dating site and he made his profile private within the first week of talking and we hadn’t even met yet. I also saw it as a green flag that he could focus.
And are you doing here? 😊
@@daniela_k -I’ve been asked this before. I just love everything about relationships and I’m continuing to learn.
Any man who clings to me after the first date is a huge red flag. These can be the stalkers, possessives, and crazy people who do crazy things. Don't forget, these are STRANGERS. We need to be cautious. I realize there are insecure attachment styles, but there are also crazy people in the world. Just be careful.
I can get clingy when I like someone. 😁
A guy liking you is a red flag??? Oh boy, you're going to be single for a while.
I am one of those people who doesn’t necessarily believe you have to have a spark from the first meeting, even the second or third… the guy can grow on me over time (as long as we have a lot in common, understand each other, get along etc).. I prefer the slow burn as it felt safer for me, does anyone else experience this?
I went through the same red vs. green flag conundrum when my current fella ditched the dating site right after we met. While there weren't "sparks" immediately, his integrity and consistency (and our value alignment) shone through very quickly. Within a week, I ditched the dating site as well...and I decided to stop seeing a really great man I'd been seeing for a few weeks (amazing intellectual connection, but definitely no physical attraction there). My guy has his flaws, as do I. After seven months we're "all in". Blessings to you, Linda! 🙏
I agree with Jonathan on these Two Points.
1. Dating more than one person at a time can set you up for actually NOT really seeing the Red Flags you might miss... You're " pre- occupied " with other people.
2. Yes. I'll take a somewhat needy, Vulnerable Man over the ridiculous Avoidanant .. e v e r y
s i n g l e
Time. 😊
One of my biggest things is... Kissing. I'm not one to " just kiss " for the sake of kissing. Yes. " know thyself ". .. I take kissing SERIOUSLY. Because it is a big deal to me ... ; However if he is not a good Kisser... I am o u t. Lol..
Agreed 👍🏼
It it's not there after 3 dates I don't believe it's there or never will be. Mine that have The no vibes or buddies.
3 dates yes...
It sounds to me like people at this midlife stage are unrealistic about how they’re supposed to feel and expecting someone to meet a long laundry list of demands (not related to Linda). She admitted she likes the a-holes, so this is foreign to her and no doubt feels like it’s boring. He may not be for her, but here’s an opportunity to learn how to like a man that’s seems to be into her (if that’s the case). Also, expecting to be over the moon attracted at this lifestage to someone on looks and/or chemistry is unrealistic in my experience. If we’re not repulsed in thinking about kissing him, or totally turned off, then there’s a chance. A good man who pursues can win her heart over. It happens all the time and it’s happened to me more than one time. It’s actually good she’s not googly eyed like a 20 yo, he’ll sense he has to win her over 😊
Yes, learning to appreciate good people.
Amen sister. Amen!!!
That’s what happened to me. The good one I was not so invested in and he had to convince me. I think that’s why it works. It’s very boring in the sense that he is healthy.
I'm FINALLY with a good man after I let go of the NEED for a man and concentrated on myself. ( I think we're conditioned to believe if we do that we're being self-centered and selfish.) And the sex?? 💥💥💥 meow He only wants to please me 💖 We communicate everyday by text and see each other 2 or 3 times a week. He treats me with respect consistently and I feel cherished by him 💖💖💖 Thank you Jonathon for all of your help and thank you Universe!! ✨✨✨
Thanks Jonathan it is obvious! Linda may be over looking the great guys !
Maybe... only see knows for sure
Needy over Avoidant , Hell Yes 🙌
Exactly
@@JonathonAslay have you lived with a needy one ?…
Needy guys are a huge turnoff. Come to think of it, most guys are a turnoff.
I'm needy... 😁
Not to me. As long as it's sincere and he's not chasing attention and adoration everywhere else too.
Lol Refreshing honesty. But I would take needy over plays hard to get avoidant. Needy isn't playing games.
Ageed, I don't like needy guys; I know who they are. They want to plop themselves on the couch several times per week and want to be attached at the hip and expect you to cook for them several times per week. I like my "space" and have things to do.
Yup, agreed.....most guys out there are a "turnoff." They haven't taken care of themselves physically or financially , play games and don't know what a relationship is.
Jonathan I agree with your alternative perspective. I want to give my attention to only 1 man at a time. I dated one on Friday, another on Saturday, & another on a Sunday in my early twenties. I don’t want to do that now., that’s for a person who just wants to have fun. 🌺
Initial chemistry (interest) is important to me. I like to start off with an initial phone conversation and "get a feel" for who that person is rather than just a bunch of back and forth emails on the dating site. I want that initial chemistry (maybe giving it 1 meetup), then I don't want to lead him on, I like to be honest with the person. And, I only like to deal with 1 guy at a time, otherwise it confuses feelings.
Yes
I wish I had a chance to meet someone like her guy!!
Good men exist 👏
@@JonathonAslay Could be, Jonathon…..if you live where there are actually available men! I live in a remote area where I have to travel 80 miles to actually meet one! Dating apps are full of “no go” for me. I tried for 10 years on the apps. Not a quality man to be had. They all say and want the same thing (within the 100 mile radius, and I refuse to do long distance) so I’m rather limited!
I just discovered you and you're a treasured, Jonathon🎉 I wish I had a date, and meet a nice guy like Linda's, but I guess I still have to wait😅
Maybe one day!
I've been there...not an easy answer. I've tryed it too.
Yes
Jonathan I love that you’re a Seinfeld fan !! 🥰
Yes... big fan 😁
She is already hesitating.
Yes
Frog died…😂😂
My situation. Missing a man’s man who dumped me after I dumped him three times due to emotional unavailability. Our short relationship was toxic but our sexual chemistry was out of this world. 😢The new guy is head over heels for me.
I like that he took himself off!!! The other type of guys stink!!
There’s always many options for men
She’s being unrealistic.
And is attracted to loser types. Masculine?? No! They are just jerks
Agreed 👍🏼
What a bs statement. Very attractive men as well as women have lots of options - fact.
Is it rude to pay your way on second and third dates? I like the guy but don’t want him to pay all the time. On our first meeting he reserved
The table and there were red roses etc.. gave me a gift of red wine and cheese! I’m not use to this pamper but I felt like a lady.
He drove 2 hours to meet me, and drive back. I like him and feel no reservations but I am second guessing myself
Not many men know how to treat a lady, by his actions he does and he drove to you. Sounds like you have met a nice gentleman.
Indeed
Well I for one don’t have the mental capacity/ power to date more than 1 woman at a time honestly. Alll my friends think I’m nuts BUT it’s because of my personality. The only way I can date more than 1 is if am not looking for a relationship/ partner and just want fun.
Meeting women has always been easy BUT I did not have a clue that so many women liked me and wanted me until 3 years ago. I honestly thought they all dislike me and wanted nothing to do with me.
Dating apps use to work for me a lot but in the last 5 years or so they have not where in person is the best for me. Yes I never wanted to settle down or be in a relationship. I have always had things going on but then realized life is short and am not getting any younger.
Johnathon, I met someone who is potentially a good guy. But , I’m still on the fence wether he’s the one for me. First, much importance to me. He is not as evolved as I am on my spiritual journey, 2ndly, I don’t feel attracted to him, even though I wasn’t sure if I wanted things to be more than friends. We did have sex , but I was disappointed. He may be a good guy but sex and attraction is important too wouldn’t you agree?
I am thinking I should tell him that he is great but just not the one for me. Would you agree with that?
Jonathan when you were swearing I wholehearted agreed with you. And avoidant guy will never make a good partner. . Neediness can be worked out. Seems like there are so many immature people out there. Past 60 it gets a lot worse. 😢
Humans are wounded 😞
You may have had your guard up on date #2
Literally what my fella said before he offered FWBs 🙄😬
What did he say?.
This lady gets a lot of dates I can’t even get one I would prefer a gettleman I hope she doesn’t end up with a bad man after having good man but because her mentality but nothing it’s perfect at 50s we all have baggage
Why don't you have dates?
Jonathan I just love listening to you….you have such great insight and perspective! Ive been recommending you to all the single men I know, including some of the guys that reach out to me on the apps that I’m not interested in!
Wow, thank you!
I want Jonathan to meet my boyfriend
Okay 👍🏼
What happened to Linda’s dating?
This lady is too nice for her own good. Why lose time with a man she's not attracted to trying to learn things about him? You can read a person in very short period of time, kind of ten minutes. There is not such thing as nice guy vs bad guy. There are only guys out in the jungle and they all want to get women.
It's a myth that you have to have found yourself, be happy with your life, like yourself blah blah before you find the right man. I think you should be hungry and a little desperate (yes, that's the right word!) to meet him. If you are too satisfied with yourself and your life is complete then there is no place for love 🤪🤪❤❤
She's sweet...
Would it be something to have a conversation about before he went ahead and did it ?
So, by your admission, Jonathan, we know from this recording and comments, you’re needy, clingy, analyze everything to death, not a social director-so no planning on your part. It is nice when someone is aware of their traits/weaknesses ! 😊
Let's hope I have some good qualities too... lol 😆
Spark is sooooo important.
Yes
We don't often have people on who you've met (like Linda) as well as their date. This was very interesting!
Robert sounds like a good catch for her so far.
If she keeps looking she may lose a good thing.
Good advice on that, Jonathon!
Thank you both.
He seemed nice
@@JonathonAslay Your "Spidy sense" would know! (When it comes to men, you don't have a "broken picker".)
😘
Good night.
God bless, Jonathon. 🙏🌠
I think it is a maturity issue. A mature woman likes nice. Until we mature, we like guys who are difficult. School of hard knocks matures. Lol I like nice. Nice is masculine. Rules... thinks bossy guys are masculine.
She has already made her choice. He will be returned as she will move on as she is looking for a reason to reject him.
Idea, get his number and invite him to your dating mixer.
I should have... darn
WRONG Jonathan he doesn’t even KNOW HER 🙄
Wrong about what?
He’s kissing her butt like he does …
Kisses were lame to start off. Teach them how please.
How?.
@@JonathonAslay you are the expert. You will find a way.
I tried that once. I said, let me show you how I like to be kissed. He ended the date.
@@rebajackson2369 I remember as a kid practicing on our hands. Touch thumb to the second knuckle on the index finger which forms a little mouth, upper and lower lips at the side of the index finger largest knuckle. Practice away.
Her body language screams I am attractive and know it Please stop with the constant hair playing.
She’s nervous, she’s on video with a RUclips guy who will thousands of people will watch. Not everyone is used to being on video in front of people and talking about their personal life. Yeah I noticed it I didn’t get annoyed by it I just tried to analyze it lol someone suggested she’s attracted to Jonathan and wanted him to notice her.
😄
@@Teewriter I think she’s just worried about her frizzy hair ☺️
.
She comes across very insecure, the constant flipping hair, touching glasses, jacket off…like she isn’t even listening. If she is like that dating, not good in my opinion. No focus. Seems insincere. Just my opinion.
That's not nice...
@@JonathonAslay you admittedly say things often that aren’t “nice”, but are true. All with your explanation of wanting to help. What is the difference. If you want to truly help her, then be honest. I will leave your channel now.
@@MCombs57 fair enough...
Omg she’s annoying lol
That's not nice... I met her and she's a nice person