HEALING DIARIES | living with depression & anxiety, mental health + life updates
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
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I'm sharing days in my life, a weekend getaway exploring oregon, life updates & getting vulnerable about my mental health + living with depression and anxiety!
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a b o u t m e:
I'm selena, I'm sharing my journey in my 20's-balancing a 9-5, living alone, self love, health & wellness! I'm a first-generation college-grad, I moved cross-country to Washington, D.C. after college to work for the federal government. My channel is all about finding balance and prioritizing the things, and people, we love to live a meaningful life! I hope you'll decide to stay, leave a ☕ emoji if you're a real one and you read this!
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#healingjourney #daysinmylife #healingdiaries #videodiary #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthselfcare #mentalhealth
I struggle with depression and anxiety. I work on being thankful and grateful on a daily basis. It sounds like you are using all of your coping tools to feel better. Hugs to you! It is a lifetime journey of healing and taking care of yourself. Some days are easier than others. I am a 56 year old mom to a son and daughter in their twenties. I enjoy watching your videos! Blessings and love.
As someone who struggles with mental health, I don’t know if the comments of “but you have so much to be grateful for..”etc help, because I KNOW that I am, but even then I still feel the way I feel 😔 thank you for sharing how you’ve been feeling. Sending you hugs ❤
yeah, I definitely think they mean well, but as you know, IYKYK. People are in different places in their journey!
It's not your fault because Depression, anxiety, Etc...Are chemical imbalances, and ofter require medication.@@SelenaTrevino
Honey! I’m a licensed master social worker in NY, I have worked as a psychotherapist for several years. And I have ADHD, depression and anxiety. I am Christian. I grew up in a 2 parent household & had and have many blessings. None of those things makes me exempt from my diagnoses and their life disrupting symptoms. You are a wonderful beautiful human being who is human and likely experiences so many of those relatable symptoms and maybe even guilt or shame, etc. and many times they are rooted in deep seeded self-beliefs that were ‘installed’ a very long time ago.
The grace you are asking us, your audience, to grant you is what I think you need to grant yourself my dear. The very thing we find ourselves fighting for or wanting or struggling with sometimes just wants to make peace with us or communicate something to us. And it can certainly be painful. It’s not necessarily about eliminating the pain - it may be about hearing what it has to say or communicate to you.
Love you gorgeous! ❤❤❤ you are on a path of amazing self-discovery. Thank you for sharing your journey with us ❤
Dear Selena, thank you for your honesty and transparency. It sounds terrible to write....but your experience with depression, anxiety, and mental health is one of the things that I appreciate most about you! As a fellow mid-to-late 20s, mid-to-plus size latina who is trying to navigate this world, life can be so hard! Especially when as women we are so hyper-aware of all of the internal and external pressures (be healthy, but not restrictive; be successful, but don't lose sight of your roots; be financially secure, but not money-hungry; etc). It is particularly hard when you can objectively look at your life and see the successes (buying a house, buying a car, having a loving relationship, having parents who you love and who love you, etc) but still FEEL that longing/empty feeling. It is just so invalidating and frustrating, even when we know it's the depression/anxiety talking. In the midst of one of my deepest depressive episodes, I once had like three different therapists just ghost me!!! Like, ghost as in....just did not show up our intake appointments lmao. Crazy sauce. Anyways, I always look forward to your videos and wish you nothing but success. I look forward to many more years of watching your content and growing with you. Please take your time with producing content, but don't *avoid* producing content just because you're going through it and think your fans will be turned off. - xo, one of your Cali comrades
Wow thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment - I really appreciate you sharing your experience, it feel like you truly can relate and that helps make me feel so seen! Thank you so much 💗🥹
You’re not alone Selena and it’s so nice to have someone like you on the Internet. Your openness and vulnerability is so appreciated and it’s very brave of you to speak on. Please don’t feel bad for taking breaks, lord knows we all need them from time-to-time. We can always go back and watch old videos😊
For me and my depression it’s a matter of being honest with myself, my therapist and my doctor about how I’m truly feeling. I also have learned what helps me to fight against it such as exercise, quiet moments, music and being outside help me to center myself.
amiga,
i too struggle with depression & anxiety, don't feel like you sound like a broken record because that's how life is battling with depression and anxiety, it never truly goes away, some times are harder than others, but in the end, we'll find processes and things that help us see the light of the end of the tunnel. truly felt like you were speaking to me, who also feels like nothing brings them joy right now. we'll get there 💛 thank you for being vulnerable and making us others feel seen/heard. prayers to you in your journey of healing. 🙏
Hey Selena! Long time no comment, lol. I definitely understand your therapy journey! Thank you for sharing! I too reached out to dozens of therapists after dealing with PMDD for two years with little to no responses. I then did interviews and found a few I liked. I ended up going through like three or four after repeating the process and I finally found a therapist that I've been with since maybe January. I'm finally feeling back to myself after years. I'm praying that the therapist you've chosen provides you the safest loving space for you to work through your challenges. Therapy is truly life changing. Continue to give yourself love and grace, you deserve it. Best of luck!
thank you so much💗 yess, I'm hoping for the best with returning to therapy!
Love your transparency! As someone with high-functioning depression and anxiety, I can totally relate. What helps me is medication, therapy, self-care and being able to speak freely with my partner about how I’m feeling.
Just went back to therapy about a month ago - after not seeing one for 2 years. Its a journey but we are in this together! :D
Yesss I love this for us 🥹💗
One of the many things I love about Jesus is that he experienced every human emotion we experience that allowed Him to relate to us. He was overcome with sadness and agony in the Garden of Gethsemane when He knew He’d be crucified. He was sad when His friend Lazarus died even though He knew He would raise him from the dead. He expressed anger in the temple when they bought and sold goods in His Father’s house. He was abused and rejected and mocked. He knows exactly what we are feeling and so coming to Him with those feelings knowing that can be so healing in and of itself. Even when it seems like my emotions make no sense, letting myself feel those emotions and taking rest and comfort in Jesus is something I’ve been learning lately and I hope this helps you too ❤️
I understand this. I struggle with depression and anxiety as well. When I go through a depressive episode I go back to the basics; eat whole food, exercise, spend time outdoors in the sun, focus on getting enough sleep, and slow down my social life until I feel aligned again. ❤
This maybe a silly/trivial question: are you living the life you want to live or are you living the life that you think/feel your family wants/expects you to live?
I’m asking from a genuine place. I was miserable/depressed for a huge portion of my early 20s thinking I had to live my life how my parents wanted me to. And I think I wasted years, almost decades, trying to be myself. In all honesty, I’m still working on it, it’s a journey, and I have a long way to go.
I hope you find some peace and happiness 🤗.
not a silly question at all, actually a VERY difficult one to answer when living with depression/anxiety. It's something I hope to dive deeper into during therapy. I honestly don't feel pressure from any family members to live a certain way. Ofcourse there are certain pressures that can be annoying, like when I get asked when I'm finally going to get married or have kids. But as you know, I don't have kids nor am I. married, so I'd say I'm definitely living life on my own terms.
I’m glad it works for you and you are seeking help. Last year i was diagnosed with severe anxiety and moderate-severe depression i tried therapy but i wasn’t comfortable opening up and i don’t want to depend on medicine.. my dad passed away in april and it’s been super hard but im trying to stay strong for my mom. my boyfriend and i moved in with her so she wouldn’t be lonely. it’s definitely been a huge change. i love watching your videos and happy to see where you are at you have come a long way at 28. I will keep you in my prayers 🤍
GORL! So lovely to see a new vlog from you. As someone who also lives with a mental health condition, let me just say it is very much okay to be where you are ❤ mental illness can be so challenging and it’s something we have to continuously learn how to cope with. You are finding your way. I’m proud of you for showing up. Thank you for sharing this with us and being vulnerable. ❤❤❤
thank you so much for the validation + encouragement!💗
@@SelenaTrevino I got u girl ♥️
Just wanted to say how much of a bright light you are in this YT world! Really appreciate your courage and stepping into your truth - and sharing with us. Let's all heal together! 💞
thank you, that means so much to me! 💗
Just wanted to say that I totally resonate with you with the feeling of indifference and nothing really bringing joy this season. It's such an uncomfortable feeling, but something I do try to work on as much as I can. Ironically, I felt better after realizing that what I have is depression. Mostly because I was finally able to put a name to what's been bothering me. I'm not a lazy or unmotivated person, I'm just somebody who struggles with depression. Thank you for being vulnerable
I've also been struggling so hard with my depression. and it's so hard not to fall into a spiral about it. like, we can be fully cognizant that our lives are great but that misalignment between our reality and our perception of reality can knock our whole world out of alignment. and it's even worse when the things that used to bring you joy no longer do. i so appreciate your vulnerability and know you're not alone! and you don't need to have things all figured out, take your time feeling your way through this. We'll be here to cheer you on (:
It’s okay to take a break! I went through infertility and a lot of health issues and RUclips didn’t break me joy so I stopped. But I totally get the indifference feeling! Praying for you, girlie! ❤
It’s a tough feeling when you don’t have a root cause of why you’re feeling a certain way, and even tougher when everything else in your life is going “fine”. To see your own emotions from the outside in and be able to separate yourself from them is difficult and that perspective comes in waves, at least from what I’ve experienced. Thank you for sharing, we are all in this together and we got this ❤
Having a therapist not reach out makes you feel like no one really cares so I'm glad you found someone 🫂
yes 1000% even though logically I know they're probably just booked and busy! thank you!
I was currently going through this feeling like nothing brought me joy. I noticed for myself and maybe more people can relate, I don’t know how to relax! When I finally have a chance to relax with no stress it feels like I should be doing something other than relaxing, like I feel guilty about it. Even if I take a trip to go enjoy myself it’ll temporarily bring me joy but once I get home, reality hits again and I’m back to feeling depressed or unaccomplished. I’m Latina and maybe others can relate as well but most of us were raised believing that if we’re not keeping busy then we’re lazy.
My fiancé was diagnosed with major depression and it’s been a struggle. You are light too many being open showing us ur life is hard but I appreciate ur vulnerability. I thank u for bringing us on ur journey and being honest. We appreciate u… we got this together.
Hey babe, thank you for being so open & vulnerable with us, it takes a lot of courage to do that
I really appreciate you sharing your mental health journey. I can definitely relate. I have been going through a lot of situational stress over the past 5 years. I am so so fortunate to have found a therapist I connect with, and I commend you for not giving up your search. I wish you all the best in therapy and thank you for all your wonderful content. Un abrazo!😊
Thanks for sharing Selena. Ever since I lost my job I’ve thought about going to therapy. I did it years ago and also did family therapy with my nephew when he was going through some tough times and those sessions really helped. But lately I’ve just had so many ups and downs with what I’m feeling. Some days I have the most energy, others I just don’t wanna do anything. And this June gloom doesn’t help. Anyway, wishing you all the healing and as always, Oregon looks so beautiful, enjoy the sun when you can! 🌞
Thank you for talking about your struggle with depression. Hearing that your life doesn’t align with your feelings really hit home and made me realize I need help too ❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable when discussing your depression as someone who has recently been diagnosed with it, it’s been hard to explain to the people around me that even though life should feel amazing because great things are happening around me, my feelings don’t always reflect that and people who don’t suffer from depression don’t understand that sometimes. ♥️
Thank you for sharing your depression story I can really relate to you and this touched my heart! I’ve been having to ask God for help. I’ve moved back to my childhood hometown to be with my fiancé and I think it’s really just. I’m not happy so many things are going great in my life and nobody can understand it. I feel like the same thing is going on with you. You got your house and everything but you’re still depressed. People don’t understand that it just can come and there can be no reason for it sending you loveand peace and God be with you
I struggle with anxiety when it comes to work. I look at the bigger picture because it can be worse. I say that to this it will be okay and you have so many things to be grateful for. Your home your family and other things. The best thing is therapy it helps you understand yourself. I’ve been going to therapy since in my 20’s and it truly helped me get through a lot of my stress. You got this ❤.
I am also a 28 year old who experiences anxiety and depression and I am very grateful for this video. I have been feeling pretty much the same way you described but I had not taken the time to put words to it and this helped so much! Thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing so openly. I know this feels as well and I’ve struggled with depression throughout my life. I pray that you find the healing you’re looking for and more and that God will grant you peace. He’s always with you. 💕
I appreciate your honesty and openness. It’s beautiful that you’re finding ways to attempt to heal and bring peace to your life. It’s a relatable feeling and I must admit, I get more angry than anything when people try to connect the grief I feel with how grateful I should be. All that does it make me rebel and before you know it they want to pull out the sage. Now I’ve gotten to the point of just not talking if I’m on a deep wave and resurfacing when i can play nice. Life happens.
Selena you are goergous! I'm glad you have been building your community and have found a group of friends where you can be who you are. The older you get this becomes more important. Thank you for this calming and entertaining vlog :)
Thank you for sharing I can relate to this a lot. It can be a lot to sort through when you are trying to balance a lot and then you are also living with depression & anxiety. you are an inspiration to a lot us and we appreciate you so much.
Excellent vlog as always, Selena!! I was in Portland over Memorial Day weekend and the weather you had on your little trip was much nicer than what it was in the city lol. Good call to get away for a bit and enjoy some sun! I always appreciate your openness and sharing the highs and lows of life with the internet-it’s a very brave and admirable thing to do!! Hope you connect well with your new therapist and are on the road to feeling better mentally and physically ❤❤
When you speak about your mental health and trying to heal I connect with that and it makes me feel not so alone so please keep up these types of videos , in the end I got so mentally ill I had to go on medication and it has really healed me a lot ,sending my love your way 🫶🏼💜
Hey Selena, love this video. Transparency is so important to healing i think. Plus im going through the same thing. Youre not alone. Love you!
yes, I agree! we got this, ILY 💗
I love this series. ❤ I can totally relate
glad you love it 🥹🫶🏽 sending love!!
Though it might feel like it, just know that you are not alone in your feelings. I go through the same thing. Feeling like my life is too blessed to be sad or down for seemingly no reason. I just tell myself that it’s a season and it will pass. It always does. I stopped stressing over feeling better and just let my body and emotions go through their process. You’ve got this and I’m rooting for you! ❤️
It’s nice to see what you do for your mental health Selena….hope your doing well😊
Thank you, I am 🥹🫶🏽 hope you’re doing amazing!
Love the nature getaway! I would love to visit Oregon someday, it looks stunning!
Selena you really really made my day Today because since morning I am not well and I wish you have a blessed week ahead🥹🥹♥️♥️
I hope you feel better 🫶🏽
Depression does come in waves and your bravery to put words to how your feeling is welcomed and so refreshing 🥹
4 years out from COVID and the depression I entered, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been in therapy for a little over 2 years, so I’m excited to hear your insights from your mental health journey.
Know it gets better. Know that God is with you through it all.
Thank you for being so vulnerable 🫶🏾
Hey Selena... Relax... Its okay to take breaks from continuous performing/ creating/working... Dnt feel guilty for giving yourself a little grace. Be gentle & go with the flow.. Flow brings back creativity. For now appreciate all that you havr achieved ay such a young age... You'll break your own records. Steady steps to peace & fulfillment. ❤️❤️ You got this ✌️👊
You are NOT complaining, sharing your feelings is always ok, your feelings are valid. I am also very burnt out right now from work and anxious because I need to start the process of preparing to apply for my Masters degree in Psychology..gonna be such a personal journey..so I feel ya on not feeling ok.
So inspiring thank you ❤
very cozy & satisfying ❤
Yay love cozy vibes 🫶🏽
Thanks for sharing. Never be scared that others might think you look for pity. That is their problem with people being frank about honest feelings / situations
Be gentle with yourself and rest often. ❤
I’m in a similar spot and I’m in therapy. Honestly, these feelings are super vulnerable for me so sharing them with my fiancé really helped me. My therapist wasn’t enough because I don’t know her like that…outside that, I have leaned on truest RUclipsrs who have similar issues and adopt their routines that help them feel better. I just try it out and see if it gives me any boost because I deal with a lot of numbness, lack self preservation and indifference.
sending you so much love 💝
right back atcha!
Depression and anxiety can be very hard to deal with. Talking with someone and exercising has always helped me. I lost my mom over 10 years ago and had small kids. Exercise and talking with people really helped.
Yeah, for me running was my escape! But since I haven’t been able to run since the accident, that’s definitely taken a toll.
@SelenaTrevino I understand that! I down with bronchitis so I'm feeling ya
Hi,Selina I just want you to know that you are so loving and kind. And again know that you're such a overcome. BBLESS!❤
Thank you so much!💗
Hi Selena how are you welcome back so happy you posted today and I hope you having amazing day and you are amazing supporter happy 1st day of summer
Thank you so much!!
@SelenaTrevino your welcome sending love to you ❤️
not your bf saying ew about nathaly cuevas LOOOOL shes top tierrrrr LOVE HERRRR
You can do it! 👍🏼
thank you
i know what your going through i have it tooo
sending love 🫶🏽🫶🏽
It seems like you are always working towards your goals and accomplishments. I would describe you as an overachiever and a solution-focused person. Your past experiences might make it challenging for you to relax and fully be present in your body. You might feel like you always need to be doing something to feel productive and "healing." Even when you take time off, like going on a trip, it might be more about distraction than truly relaxing your mind and body. You might even feel guilty if you're not doing anything.
It's possible that your recent achievement of buying a house and moving across the country, and now you're experiencing a bit of a letdown, similar to coming down from a high. I would suggest working with your therapist to learn how to sit with yourself, be present in your body, and avoid the constant stress of chasing the next achievement. Remember, depression stems from living in the past, and anxiety comes from worrying about the future. Focus on being present; you are safe in this moment, and everything you need is right here. It's okay to be a work in progress. It's a beautiful place to be.
❤❤❤❤❤
Idk if I haven't been paying attention, but I love that you watch anime. Dr. Stone is one of my favorites.
Hahahah it’s ok, I’ve def shared for years but not super often! Plus I share more on Instagram. I LOVE ANIME. I’ve seen most of the big ones now except DBZ, but I’ve loved everything I’ve seen so far. Finished Dr stone and can’t wait for the next szn. I love my hero academia, can’t wait to watch the new episodes!
@SelenaTrevino Yassss! I love it! ❤️ And I do hope you start to feel better mentally, physically and emotionally soon. 🫶
🧚🏾🧚🏾🧚🏾🧚🏾
You Look So Pretty Selena I’m A New Subscriber To Your Channel I Can’t Wait For More Content To Come Soon💕💕💕💕
Thank you!! Welcome to the fam 💗
@@SelenaTrevino Thanks Selena I Really Appreciated💙
New subscriber ❤
Have you been to alpaca farm in Bend? Crescent Moon Ranch is the best!
nooo, but I will def add to my list!
Oh Selena, I wish I could DM you and then hug you! I feel that we are one in the same, I also live in Oregon, I am a little older than you BUT I am going through the exact same thing as you. I know I am affected by the weather, but so many other factors of course. Some seasons ( and I don't necessarily mean weather wise but more some time frames) I am fine, other seasons my anxiety takes over! I can get through my days, like work, and things I have to do, but on the inside I feel so lost, all over the place, worried, stressed, constant and I mean constant no stop thoughts. Girl, you are not alone. The hardest part for me is when people reach out and I ignore them, cause I feel like a burden to them, and or don't want to make up this big elaborate story of why I was distant, it's a whole thing. Sorry for rambling, but I understand what you're going through. I will say, accepting that my anxiety isn't going to fully go away, and learning my triggers + coping mechanisms have helped. However, I also had to learn and accept that just because something worked previously, it might not day today. Sending you so much love ♥
I was once depressed from my dad passing away in 2014 and then my brother in 2015 and more fear came and anxiety along the way when I was trying to deal it on my own. but then I found God 🤍
“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7
You can also read:
Philippians 4:6-7
Psalm 62:8
Psalm 55:22
Psalm 61:2
Joshua 1:9
Hebrews 13:6
Proverbs 3:5-6
1 Corinthians 14:33
Jesus loves you all 🤍
Heyyyy
Hello 🫶🏽
Hi, I have watched your content for a couple of years. Could the Rainey climate of Oregon be contributing to your mental health? Maybe use lighting to help with possible seasonal depression
I thought it was that but I’ve felt the most depressed on the sunniest of days! Lately it’s been mostly sunny, even late spring was mostly sunny, and yet; here I am… also I felt this way when I lived in DC in a luxury apartment with tons of natural light. It’s just depression - there isn’t always rhyme or reason.
@@SelenaTrevino Hopefully you’re right. Oregon is 2nd in the country for the highest adult mental health issues. You know yourself better than anyone else. Glad you’ve found a therapist. I am also Latina and our community still has a stigma when it comes to mental health. You may have to try many different therapy methods before you find one that works for you. A support system is so important and I believe your family and friends are there for you.
Gut health imbalnces, your microbiome can cause anxiety and depression. Seek functional med doctor, theyll do stool test , see if you hv leaky gut, dysbiosis, h pylori etc. Dont wait for you to physicall feel stomach issues...its already done alot damage by then.
It will be the pain that will be triggering ur depression. When I was in constant pain it dragged me into the worst depression I’ve ever been in.
Maybe u miss the city too.
I honestly don't know which direction the causation flows. I don't know if the pain leads to the increased depression, or the depression exacerbates the pain. I'm sure it goes both ways unfortunately. Regardless, it sucks & i'm doing my best.
That is very true ❤ I hope therapy helps.
How is your partner supporting you in this journey? I am curious because it does affect relationship right ?
I'll let him answer that one if her ever chooses to!
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
Hi how are you doing have not been on your page a long time miss looking at your videos
welcome back 💗
Anyone ever tell you you look like Karol G?
HAHAHAH NO
@@SelenaTrevino I feel like you do!!!!! Your bone structure, even your eyebrows. I kept wondering who you reminded me of as I was watching the video. Then it hit me! Went to look at some of her pics, and yes! I definitely think so.
Keep working out go to the spa try new foods get married to your partner
LOL
All I will say is you’re not alone. And I’m proud of you for getting the guidance you need during this season. Xo keep your head up better days are approaching. ☀️🫶🏼
thank you, yes better days! 💗