I've been a solo player from the start and I don't regret it. I am in an FC but it's one where I don't have to participate in any activities and to be honest there aren't that many events anyway. Still you get help if you have a question which I like. So I found the perfect FC for myself and I try my very best to stay away from any trouble. RP isn't for me either which I feel is another source of social drama. But I do understand the wish to belong to a group and your experience is really really sad. I am glad to hear that you found your own place in the game without those "friends". Being alone does not always mean that a person is lonely. Just as being part of a group does not always mean that a person is NOT lonely. Enjoy the game in any way you like. :) I wish you all the best.
My experience has been very much the same. My life is quite busy with work and family. I don't have the free time I had when I was single and going to school. Yes I'm in a FC, they do activities every now and then but I just keep to myself and contribute to the FC every now and than as payment for the continual buffs. I have enjoyed setting my own pace and working toward my own goals I set for myself. Their is so much to FF14 and I'm in to rush to get to an "end game". I did that for years with other MMO's. I just want to enjoy this one and what it has to offer. Thank you for this video it was very well put together.
As far as I'm concerned being in an FC has never meant having to be socially active or demand you put resources into the group. People with that mentality are weird, even in other games like guild wars, blade and soul, WOW, etc. There maybe more insentive to socialize and be part of that "raid guild" but generally speaking its weird or cringe when people DEMAND that type of behavior. Edit: Obviously in the case of raiding its less cringe if thats SPECIFICALLY their purpose obviously. Just like you know general thought if theres more casual people within that guild and they are also being demanded than thats weird.
It's so difficult to find established groups of friends that are open to new members and it's even more difficult when a group you thought was a good fit for you decides you aren't a good fit for them.
@@pantherman8719 True! I will say though that I noticed that my own group had a guy that was actively being hostile to anyone that hung out with us. We kept meeting new people on ffxiv or wow and they'd be super chill but would eventually duck us after a while. He apparently was always just making off handed comments to be an ass when we weren't around and that reflected on us. Probably not always what turned people away from our group but something to look out for I guess.
this is actually so true especially since i just play pvp in this game with the side of ultimate raiding and savage. i've never been in an fc and all that but all the events that happened with my old pvp friend group seriously just turned me away from making new friends in this game sometimes because of how it reflects on the community. i mostly just miss one in that group, but the overall pvp community itself is just so entitled and i normally just play with the few friends i have from pve and 2 friends from my pvp friend group that went to shit. SO so right about everything you said
A good fit? They are friends to no one. "Oh FFXIV has such a great community!" There is no gaming community. It's just a bunch of sociopaths lying to themselves and the virtual world which causes no positive change for the benefit of humanity. "I'm so smart and superior! I click buttons, watch my DPS you worthless noob! It's my entire personality, 23,billion DPS! I'm world hero!" MMO gamer in a nutshell. Toodles o/
@user-vc2oy8pj7o wow, somebody really hurt your feelings...funny how you call an entire group of literally millions of ppl sociopaths and then proceed to launch a tyrade of hatred and vitriol. Good chance your problem lies in the mirror
There's an old sci-fi series I watched where one of the characters talked about realizing that the one thing worse than being all alone in the night is being all alone in a crowd, and there is some truth to that. If you're alone in your own space, then you're in your own space. Sure, it's just you, but you're still somewhere you can feel comfortable and at ease. When you're on your own and in a public space, you begin realizing that everyone is going about their own day, and that most of them probably don't stop to think about talking to some random person sitting off to the side somewhere, and that realization can be very depressing. The other side of that coin, though, is that you begin to realize that you don't have to worry about going to some place or have other people around in order to find some joy in life. Sure, those things can bring joy to your life, but if you're trying to pursue those things just because you want to have them, and not because you want to have people that you do stuff with, then it can very quickly lead to feelings of depression and burnout both in and out of game.
I think this is an interesting perspective to have. It's like that feeling of loneliness is amplified because MMO's are or have been traditionally about playing with other players and socializing to some degree.
@@s0vietg1nger20 Funny thing is I tended to ignore that aspect of MMOs by-and-large, and only really started becoming more aware of it much later. Back when I played DFO or Elsword I spent most of my time treating it as a solo player experience, and focused on mastery of skill for the character and class I was playing so as to clear out each part of a dungeon in the most expeditious possible way. Heck, Elsword was the first time I started actually socializing with a few other players and started a guild, and it took a long time for me to start gravitating towards that part of MMOs again in FFXIV. Now I have a FC where there’s at least a few players that are somewhat active, but everyone’s off doing their own thing, and we rarely chat like how we used to, so I e begun sinking back into doing my own thing on my own. It gives things a bit of a cyclical feel, to be honest, and not in the best way.
thank you for the kindness and solidarity, everyone. :) overall, i'm really glad that this was able to reach so many of you on so many different levels. or if it didn't resonate with you, that's okay. you all have your own stories and your own ways to play. regardless of social style or if you've decided to move on from the game entirely, as long as you are happier for it then that's all that really matters. i decided i'll be working on the next vid soon. see ya there!
Her mentioning it as being her first video had me pausing to look at her sub and view counts. It's kind of wild thinking that you're there watching someone's first video with the first few days of it being uploaded. x)
Finally someone gets it! I have spent 15+ years battling people who tell me to get out of their MMO because I am a solo player. I make my own world within the games world. I make own story. I don't need or want others to dictate what I do today. It is about choices.
Sweatlords are notorious for being elitist. Games are supposed to be relaxing. Pretty much all MMO games these days have some type of content aimed at the solo player. I guarantee you there are at least as many of us as there are of them. If there weren't, these game developers wouldn't be devoting resources to developing that kind of content.
I was a solo player from day one. I’m very much the kind of person who dislikes multiplayer games but I love Final Fantasy games and really wanted to experience the FF14 storyline. I really enjoy role playing along with the story as the Warrior of Light and find this experience more enjoyable than tenuous social interactions with strangers.
Agreed. I started playing this month and have really been enjoying the story. But I’ve always played solo games, and I absolutely HATE that I am required to do multiplayer duties in order to advance the MSQ. I do have fun with them, but I’d much rather prefer to do them with NPCs
@@CarbonFiberSwan In the later game, you won't need to run the dungeons with a group. They have the trust system, which allows you to run dungeons with your scion companions. Which is nice because you can continue to enjoy playing solo, and the story feels more real. Also, the npc scions know the mechanics lol, so if you don't, just follow them.
@@darkreality2733 Just finished Shadowbringer last night and was introduced to this. I am pretty happy about it, cause I much prefer playing with NPCs (mostly. Sometimes it's fun to play with other people)
Its things like this that i absolutely love about this community. I found this by sheer random, and I've been playing fairly consistently for a lil over a year. I've been feeling down because I've had run ins with RPers that consistently bash on my love for this games content in both story and quality. I wont lie I've made mistakes and im learning how this community works. I've even been hurt a few times.but when i see people like you post videos like this, i cant help but be inspired! I soloed the MSQ to make sure i got the story, the lore, all of it with every level of enjoyment i could manage! Yet i still feel down sometimes when i feel alone. But this video and others like it help me see that this community has truly wonderful people in it. And that the things you think are wrong with you and the way you play, are no more than a farce and just people getting you down. Like any community, this one has its good people and bad. You just have to find your people. No matter how many or how few!
if you are looking for new friends are ur on crystal let me know, FF14 is my first FF mmo and iv loved the group iv been with, they have been my first and only FC for 2 years, we offer some RP content, and some events too, we are an IRL first community too and its very friendly :) hope u have a good day
I completely agree. Honestly, I only got back into FFXIV during the Pandemic because a friend of mine mentioned having the game, but being on the fence about continuing it. So we chatted a bit and decided to make new characters to enjoy the story of the game from beginning to end. He had a female Viera character (this was back in ShB so Male Viera didn't exist yet), and we would sometimes joke about him jackrabitting along because of how quickly he would read through the dialogue outside of voiced cutscenes, and it got to the point where he would either be doing some crafting while waiting for me to catch up, or he would be doing housework in the background while I went through the reading at my own pace. We eventually started pursuing the MSQ independently due to scheduling constraints, but we still chat on occasion, and we're even co-heads in a FC. That's more due to everyone else going inactive and us getting the lead roles not too long after joining, though. x)
Roleplayers who bash you for learning about the game-world they're literally pretending to be part of? Well, that alone tells you what their opinion is worth.
As someone who rped for years its a miserable hobby to have because its hard to find a partner who isn't on main anime character syndrome. I pretty much avoid Rps these days. More power to folks who want to do it but I prefer a partner who share similar goals to me.
This is so relatable, I started XIV at the start of 2020 because of lockdowns and met a group of people and joined their FC.. about a year later I realized that I felt more alone in that FC than I felt just playing solo. The group became cliquey and only the popular players who raid ever got any interactions. It kinda felt like sitting alone in the cafeteria while others had fun. I ultimately ended up abandoning that character who I sank hundreds of hours on after I left the FC because the game just didn’t feel the same.
this. i was so worried for a while that i would never see Bat again. i'm happy that i eventually gave him another chance, but it took a long time for me to get there.
This actually spoke to me so much. Your video inspires me in my current situation in the game. I was a part of a very active FC for years that ended up splitting off and pretty much both splits ended in a social death. I'm in a pretty much dead FC at the moment. I can't leave it because the few that are there still login occasionally and the memories of them and their friendships mean so much to me. But for the most part my character plays solo. I am now learning to become a solo player because I love and enjoy the game so much.
Valuable lessons. I’m too much of a social gamer to enjoy it on my own, but I also cherish my small community of like-minded friends. We’re either getting too old for drama, or just shun it in general, and I hope it stays that way. Having FFXIV to always fall back on is nice.
I'm a solo player, been playing on and off since the ARR beta. Ive been in 1 FC and i honestly felt more alone in that so i left it shortly after joining. Most of my enjoyment comes from being a bard, i always stand in the same spot and try to learn music and play manually or just play midi's, and sometimes people will stop and listen for awhile, sometimes they strike up a conversation and try to talk to me, this has been the only way i really talk to anybody in the game as i have no friends.
I play extremely similarily, but I play with my bf during msq and daily roluettes. I tried to get more 'social' but it's often really awkward or scary. Solo is top tier
Started as a solo player and started an FC with friends that I made. Over the years, our FC grew, and drama in the FC eventually started to kill my experience. Uprooted from Sarg because of it, and now I'm in Halicarnassus back to enjoying the game as a solo player.
I would've never guessed this was your first video. True pro RUclipsr work. I'm in an active FC for the buffs, and I enjoy the FC chat for the random conversations people have, but I still 100% play by myself. I just prefer being a solo player. I don't have any consistent friends, but that's okay. I have my friends in real life, and I'm not looking to make any through 14. I know it is against the concept of what an MMO is, but I do play them wanting as little social interaction as possible.
Thank you for sharing your story! It offers a different perspective that we rarely hear from. I'm happy to hear that you're finding peace and happiness within your play style. I'm learning to enjoy playing solo since many of my friends are taking breaks, and while it can be lonely for me, your story offers me a new way of thinking of things.
Ive always played solo, with the odd pop in from real life friends/family I managed to trick into trying it. Never had the urge to join an FC or anything (wish i could autoblock invites like in WoW), I just enjoy having little to no responsibility, no raid schedules, the feeling i can walk away for a month and not be inconveniencing anyone. On the other hand i love feeling part of the community, seeing people running around, seeing sprouts, the crowds on patch day as you struggle to even see the quest giver, and even just chill chats during duties. It's the feeling that I can experience this world and all it has to offer at my own pace (just like a single player game), knowing there are thousands of people out there sharing the same or simillar experience that i could reach out to anytime i want and know i will get a warm reply.
the number of times i've accidentally gotten myself killed in the middle of nowhere doing something stupid, then had to /shout for help and someone almost always came running to get me back on my feet. that's the community i know and love.
Sorry to hear how you were given the cold shoulder without a real explanation. But you're right, it just proves that you were in the wrong group anyways. Sounds like you have learned alot, & in the end good people like you will always deserve happiness. Best of luck! 👍
Sometimes I crave the company of others in my faveourite game FFXIV. Sometimes I want to be alone. I really love that solo'ing the content is an option. Sometimes I want to immerse myself in the lore and sometimes I want to take down a raid boss with real team mates but what those things have in common is that I love this game more than any other.
It's also great how you can queue up with just NPCs if you want to. Granted it's all random base class NPCs until somewhere between Heavensward and Stormblood, but it's honestly great that they have it as an option, and reaching the point where you and the other scions are taking on challenges together makes it feel so much better from an immersion standpoint. The first time I faced Hydaelyn in Endwalker, I completely ignored the option of doing it with other players, because for me this was an obstacle for the Scions to overcome together or not at all. That was only for the first time around, though. xD
I’m going to try FF for the first time. Comming from WoW. I dang near always solo. Rushing and trying to keep up with others is cool occasionally but my preference is solo. I only team up when I absolutely have to. I make my own alt community to be more and more self reliant. I’m like this in real life. My solitude is my energy. But I’m far from anti-social , just an introvert .
Been playing for 8 years. Have always been solo. I am in a great and active FC where there are no obligations. But I just lurk in it. The characters of the story are my friends. I get more fulfillment from my adventures with the Scions. I get more enjoyment out of doing things on my own time. Grouping up when I feel like it. Raiding when I want. Doing RP or attending parties when the mood strikes. I prefer it this way and it works for me.
I treasure my solitude in FFXIV. I love raiding with real people, but sometimes I just want some peace and quiet. I love that the game allows me spaces where I can just chill out alone and think, while I do some retainer management, or farm crops, or just listen to music.
Thank you for sharing your experience and general approach to this game. I really appreciate your perspective and story :) I have learned to play the game for me. I had an old FC that would really push me through the game so we could start raiding or so they could start talking about spoilers. And that was always rough, they'd always say shit like "just watch the cutscenes in the inn later" like it was so easy. As someone who has combed through the inn journal, there are several chunks of story missing when it comes to reliving the story. And you only get to experience the story for the first time, once. So being pressured to skipping those cutscenes also pressured me into skipping that first time experience. There are huge chunks of the game I have missed out on because of that kind of pressure. I started a bun boi to remedy this, and though I do really want to raid, I'm going to take my sweet ass time with him. I have gotten into fishing in the early game, it's actually really exciting! He'll eventually become my main, but until then he's helping me relive the ARR through Shadowbringer experience I never truly got to have. At least not without being told to hurry up because apparently my sub and experience doesn't matter to people who speed read through cutscenes or outright skip them because they don't care.
I played back when arr came out and had a ton of fun! But halfway through the story, I just felt rushed and had a hard to keep up with the story. That was mostly because of the duties/instances. Whenever I got into a dungeon, the tank would rush through the entire dungeon and watching the entire cutscenes caused most people to get mad 😅 so I just ran after them, healing where possible and bam... Quest done... I had no idea of the story or what even happened. After that, I quit due to me going to college and lack of time to play. I started playing around a month ago and love how "single player" you can be! Now you're able to play most story dungeons with a team of npcs. I can take the time to look at everything, read text of whatever you find and just take it easy! Back then, there was a big focus on progress, especially within the FCs I joined. But now I take it easy 😊 heck, I even found out I love gathering and crafting! It's so relaxing to gather everything you need to make items yourself 😊 There's all kind of players and that's absolutely fine! ❤
This touched on so many similar things for me. Especially the "not connecting with the WoL", I'm fine with the WoL as a storytelling method, but just like you, MY characters have never been the WoL. Also, thanks for saying you have multiple characters. The only real friend I made from FF still gives me crap about having alts. I tried to explain that each character was just that, a different character, not just some skin I could change at random. Sorry, I digress. Again, you echoed so many good points. I'm glad you're enjoying the game, however you want to play it!
Im so happy this popped up in my recommendations, because this is giving my play style validation. I'm one month into the free trial, and learned very early on that I love crafting. Gaming to me has always been slow and grindy, as I try to 100% the first playthrough. So I approached FF14 the same way. Since its also my first mmo , I really wanted to learn the controls before trying to join a group for rp and dungeons. The players are amazing and eager to help me with fates, but as someone's who incredibly shy in RL, when I become overwhelmed, I feel frazzled and a burden. I've only just joined the grand company, but watching my crafting/land jobs level up with a check beside every successful craft is just so satisfying.
This right here...everything hits so close to home. I am mid recovery from various social stigmas but it feels so good to know I am not alone. Also, FISHING IS LIFE!
Been feeling very much this way and just made an Alt recently to get away from the stress of my main. Glad you came to enjoy the game again in a new way
I'm really glad FF14 is very solo friendly. I just wanted to experience Final Fantasy and didn't come to socialize, like most multiplayer game communities online, you face a lot of the same hang-ups in people arguably more pronounced with it being online.
Thank you very much!! I greatly enjoy solo play. It's nice to hear others experiences as solo players and how they best utilize their time in game. I'm enjoying doing everything on my one and main character. Wishing you all the best!!
Feeling lonely in an mmo somehow stings more than I feel it should. Maybe it's the combination of invested time and feeling like everything is falling apart, while also feeling reluctant to find new "greener pastures".
this is very valid. the emotional (and financial) investment i had put into the game is exactly what led me to even try attempt it from a solo perspective. while i still feel lonely from time to time, those are the days i tend to log out and work on something different. otherwise, i've found my own joy in playing the game alone while not feeling so lonely. and i've left other opportunities to find me, rather than me being the one to seek them out. when it happens, it'll happen. :)
100% Ive been playing this game for 4 years. the most fun I have in the game is when I do it my own way. I have a wonderful group of friends now but moslty I play solo and jump into FC hat when people have questions etc. I LOVE the housing aspect in this game as well.
I feel like seeing this video has let me come to terms finally after all these years playing the game. My experience with social death might be far from the norm, but it's largely been my struggle to fight against [and eventually accept] an increasingly growing writer's block to retire from roleplaying in general, as well as just accepting that my natural inclination in MMOs is, effectively, to be a hermit. I had it in my head that to fully enjoy an MMO you had to be socially active, join groups and the like and...it's not really the case? At least not with FF14. Despite being a 2.0 week 1 launch player it took me forever and a half to realize I'm just built to not actively seek out people, and be completely at peace with largely floating about alone in this game. Still enjoy it, immensely, but, don't always need people with me to enjoy it. ...That was a bit of an uneven rambling, but thanks for posting this video. I think I'm finally able to just say I'm happy with my current terms of engagement with this game. And don't need to force things to change.
Due to my schedule it's really hard to be anything but a solo player, but going through an experience like you did and still being able to get back in and find your joy playing...that's really inspiring. Thanks for sharing not just your story, but also your characters, and I love to hear more about them. So few people go into the lore of their characters and their personal journeys in these video essays, and that's the stuff that gets me hype to play again, so I appreciate that. God bless, keep enjoying yourself, and have a great forever.
I just left my fc today and honestly, I realized that all my friends actually left to. But I feel great and very similar to you. Congrats for finding your enjoyment again :)
Honestly, I really feel you... I’m playing solo since ARR. Still the part of my good old FC, but I barely touch any content with them. Mostly because of the irl schedule, cause I’m really busy with my work and everything. So I never do savages or ultimates cause I simply don’t have time for that and don’t wanna be a dead weight for my party. So I always feel a bit off and kinda lost, especially after some mates left the FC. But what I love about the 14th is that you can play however you want. I honestly found myself addicted to Island Sanctuary. And I still enjoy playing all the roulettes and especially alliance raids (‘twas always my fav content btw). It’s way less stressful when you play the game extremely casually as a solo player. And that can be fun, no matter what others say.
@@veesalazar8605yeah its just easy to ignore I rarely rp with others cause Im not as outgoing or social either as others is though. If you don't like something best thing you can do is just ignore and not interact
@@PrincessofKeys Honestly, my preferred rp format is either a tabletop rpg or a text-based rpg. The latter was my first introduction to the idea of writing and playing a character, and it's honestly a fun thing to do in my opinion. I don't know about rping in a mmo though. The idea of it always felt kind of weird to me.
@@TormaXimnus To me it always felt like a fun way to co-write a story with someone and creatively it felt really fun and exciting to bounce ideas off of another person in the moment in a way that felt a lot more interactive than just reading or writing. I've heard people say it's like acting or performing and I can see that. But I do think a lot of people use roleplay as a kind of escapism from their real lives to the point where they identify with a character so much that the character is them, or who they wish they were. I don't know if parasocial is the right word but a lot of the "unhinged" people are that way because they have real emotions because in their mind their character is them and your character is you.
@@fishsticks2965 I can’t say I know what that kind of thing is like on either end. I have had a similar problem where I get too into the mindset of my character to the point where I start losing myself in it, but with my own shortcomings added in, and that’s a volatile mix that can easily lead to fights, meltdowns, or even exclusion. I’ve recently been in a text-based rp where I’m playing a specific kind of character, and more than once I’ve had to stop and think about a post idea and realize that this particular character wouldn’t react that way, thus resulting in me rethinking things with that specific character in mind.
Thank you so much for this video. I have a few friends in this game, I've joined an fc and had a RP group before, but I always end up going back to playing solo. I was never much of a social person and that bothers me a lot, but it's important to understand that it's okay to be like this, and sometimes this can be really difficult. This video reminded me that there's nothing wrong with me, this is just the way I am and the way I play games. I wish you all the best, hope you keep enjoying the game and having a great time!
GOD this video is relatable. I've only been playing for about a year now, but it only takes a fraction of that to realized how toxic and cliquey the community can be, not even the RP community, but FCs as well. It's like going through highschool all over again. I'm glad you found a way to keep playing the game rather than cast it off entirely. There's a lot to love here, despite it's flaws, and it's worth sticking it through
It's because the vast majority of people who play are absolute losers in real life and the game is litetally all they have. I say this as someone who has played since 1.0. It is very rare to find people who actually have their life together and are stable
I've been playing for about 1 years now and I'm completely a solo player. I joined an FC for xp boosts and whatnot, and they don't require anything from me, so it all works out fine. I only have 5 ppl in my friends list, 2 of those are active and we never do anything besides play triple triad. Lol over all I'm satisfied playing by myself seeing as I don't have a lot of free time to play, and I'm enjoying the time that I do have. Also, I NEVER skip any cinematics I haven't seen before. I'm not here to please others. I'm here to enjoy the game myself. If I make friends, great. If not, no worries.
I was in a FC that had a discord. They were cool but I multitask a lot. I’ll be playing 1-3 games at a time. So I couldn’t be in the game as much as I could have been. Or hanging out with all of them shooting the crap. They seemed close knit and knew each other fairly well. I was there when we finally got our own house. It was a great experience. But eventually they kicked me from the discord from not being active. Which I don’t totally blame them. I didn’t really mind playing solo. But some endgame stuff can be a nightmare. I enjoyed the story a lot more solo. It let me immerse myself in the world and characters. I felt connected and could really allow myself to feel the emotion towards each character and possible deaths.
I completely understand the pressure that an FC can put on you to rush the MSQ. Mine always wants to run stuff together, and whenever they're on with me, I always feel pressured to do dailies and be caught up on the MSQ to run stuff with them. But honestly, it completely stresses me out, and doing dailies every time I get on burns me out from the game. It's just not what interests me. So I've finally told them that I'm not interested in being caught up on the MSQ, and I've had to get comfortable being honest and telling them I'm not interested in dailies if they're running them when I'm on sometimes. Sometimes, I just want to go fishing. Thankfully, it's a very small and understanding FC, so they get it. I'm excited for the Dawntrail expansion for the graphics update and second dye channel, but honestly, I don't actually plan to run through the MSQ on it for a very long time. I'm no longer caught up on any of the recent patch quests, and I've been playing on lower-level alts for solo role-play, and don't really care to do all the latest content anymore. I've found doing that, playing slower, and taking the pressure off myself to always be caught up has greatly improved the experience for me. I can just chill and take the game at my own pace now.
I just want to thank you for making this video. I feel you said a lot of things i needed to hear and that explain why i have not been enjoying the game for some time now. I too am mostly a solo player, have been for 10 years since 2.0 and tbh I feel pretty alone myself. A lot of it has to do with the people I hung out with and some of it I feel was my own fault but seeing that its not just me that has felt this way and seeing how you got passed it is very helpful. Thanks!
I relate to this so much. I have joined so many FCs because I felt like I wanted to make friends, and then left so many FCs because I stopped logging in because the FC can see when I log in and I didn’t want to be obligated to talk to people every time I log in. I’m also not interested in high end content. I still enjoy being in a world populated by other players, I love doing fates with strangers, but I also want to log in and not talk to anyone a lot of the time! I’m now a “free agent” and not part of an FC, and enjoying doing a lot of the same things you do!
I have been playing solo for a while now and I love being able to explore things freely with no commitments. It can be lonely sometimes, but I enjoy the freedom. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's made me feel not so alone. I had a horrific experience in WoW with my former guild. I'm autistic and was being bullied for my limitations. My boyfriend and I quit and tried out FFXIV. We loved it. But a few of my old guild mates came with us. I thought they were our friends, but they began harassing me in FF as well. Basically, they wanted my BF and I to rush through the content so they could raid. And when I couldn't go fast enough, the whole thing ended very badly. After my experience, I'm afraid of being very social. FF is great, because you can do anything in the game, without having to deal with others. You can be as socially active as is comfortable for you. It's nice. But both my BF and myself were so burned, we had to walk away from mmos all together. I still suffer from anxiety issues and depression. Healing has been a long road. I haven't played FF for a few years, but your video has inspired me, and I think I might try it out again. I'm sorry you went through that. But this has been very helpful. Thank you so much. Btw, the video was really good. Well done =)
Been playing MMOs forever, literally since before MMOs technically even existed (I'm talking MUDs and MUSHes) and one thing that always happens in these games is 99% of people you meet and befriend you will lose touch with. It can suck, because you make great friends and then they're just gone, but also its kinda awesome once you realize there are nearly infinite number of new friends just waiting to meet you. Just gotta take that leap instead of sitting around feeling lonely. And becoming comfortable with playing solo and having that solo outlook can be a huge help when you're in one of those social rebuilding phases. Starting over somewhere new can eventually even become fun, I moved to the new datacenter when I returned to 14 this most recent time and its been amazing meeting new people and being surrounded by sprouts again. Last time I started playing WoW again, back at the start of Dragonflight, I started up on a new server and played Horde for the first time since the original launch, what a trip that was. Now that I'm back in FFXIV again I'm looking forward to even delving into some roleplay again which is something I haven't done in any MMOs in years after being soured about it by some unwanted ERP and relationship RP pressure.
Im glad you found a way to enjoy the game despite everything Im also a solo and really love the game but its weird getting into the community; its like everyones deep into the fandom and Im just a busy student who likes to login sometimes after being offline for months...
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I really admire your strength to not only endure the mistreatment of a squad to jerks but to also not let that social death dissuade you from a game you love. Cheers!
Thank you for this video. I felt quite close to this. I for many years have been a solo player. Playing a multitude of multiplayer games looking for some interaction but in the end resorting to being solo. Close to a decade ago, I too had experienced a "Social death" but in another game called Ragnarok online. I was part of a guild that felt like family. We were extremely close and it only took the leader leaving for it all to fall apart. I have not been able to join a single group of people that I could call "friends". I just started up FF14 myself and have been worried that my current mental thoughts would have a hard time progressing or doing something of worth in the game, but your videos have helped me in this regard. Thank you. I do not know how long my journey will be but I will try to make the best of it.
Thank you for sharing your story I'm sure a lot of 14 players understand what you've been through in one way or another and the developers of the game get that as well, which is why they are going for a more RPG experience to satisfy both type of gamers and that just makes me love this game even more, it is just as you said it there is no wrong way of playing this game ^^.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I can really realate to what you had to say about the feeling of isolation in a mmo. Very wholesome positive outlook.
This was honestly a pretty good video and one that spoke to my heart of hearts. I have a rather "petite" social battery and I've been left behind and forgotten more than a few times so I went through a similar "journey" as yours. Please keep the videos coming and I hope more people find your content (and find it as pleasant as I did :P)
Just found this video and boy does it hit home.. I was a solo player that tried to be more social and then immediately went back to solo minus my old 1.0 group of irl friends. My FC during my social era got upset that I worked really hard to clear content and passed their “Ace” player. Since they couldn’t have that, they tried to run me off my Data Center. I’m glad you found your peace and I hope anyone struggling to find their place solo or social can as well.
This is the best attitude to have about FFXIV, maybe even MMOs in general, in my opinion. For myself I never really considered to do the MSQ with others because I understand everyone has their own way of playing a game. Some care for the story, others don't. And that is fine. Always play games like YOU want to and not how others would like you to. Otherwise you some day come to the realization that this is like having a 2nd/3rd or even 4th job to you hate to do but kind of feel like you're obligated to show up to. And that is not why you play games. Games are meant for you to recover from your stressful day not add to it. Whoever reads this: Guys. Have fun and enjoy what you love! 🤗
I had something similar happen to me recently with people i met in-game. And thought a friendship developed. It is true how one can feel even more isolated, even within a group of people. Over time, I realized that some people arent a good fit. It helped my mental health to disassociate with them. Toxicity isnt always apparent, but rather how some people can make you feel. I feel so much better as a single player gamer in 14, while helping folks in dungeons, or a PF scenario when the urge to socialize is there, even emoting randomly in a place with folks, than go back to do my own thing. The game became so fun again! Just wanted to say i relate to you here, and so thankful you made it out too. So sorry this happened to you.
It's always nice to know that I'm not the only one who went through it in this game and community. I started out the same way, solo, until I moved to the RP server and started meeting Rpers and say they're interested in my character. This is a long story and if I made a video it would be about 2 hours of just letting it all out 😅. Moral of the story is, not everyone has good intentions AT ALL and I almost completely left the entire thing until I met some people that gave me faith in this community. Advice for this community, please please please stop bringing your trauma to people who don't know you and then lie on, guilt trip, manipulate, and gas light the person who just wants friends.
Great video! A lot of the things you mention are definitely relatable and I personally tend to be the solo player who enjoys playing with others rather than looking for others to play with.
This was a lovely video! It's always great to get unique perspectives from all types of FF14 Players. It can be easy to loose sight of people like you when you all ever see is the mainstream playstyle. I'm happy you were able to find YOUR joy in the game. :)
Thank you for this video I am back at the game for the first time since release. I'm not super social or good at chatting with my controller and I struggle with that aspect of this game. But I wanted to just say thank you for reminding me that the game is what you make it.
I feel exactly like this from time to time, sometimes it's great to be with people and sometimes it's just nice to be alone, that's the greatest part of this game and any MMO that allows it. I'd like to think I have a pretty good social battery but on some days I just want to be alone and that's fine, do what you enjoy and live how you want to live. It's good that you bounced back up and found enjoyment again, some people get burned and never come back or they just turn into someone completely different, to accept and heal with time is a good and mental health is even more so important to look after.
I love that more and more people add their takes into the mix and this was a really good video. I also love crafting and gathering, and it can be so chill to just sit a fish for a while. Admittedly I have lost a bit of that while being in "endgame" and raiding and feeling like I need to do extremes etc. This video got me thinking I should just go to a spot and fish again. Thank you for posting this
I used to play Elsword. I was the leader of a guild, a pretty large one too. Was pretty young too. Not going into detail, but things went downhill and I decided to shut down the guild due to so many drama that kept happening. Tried joining other guilds, but it never felt the same. So I decided to just go solo. It was fun, gave me an ego boost being able to solo things. But it later got lonely, it was really fun playing with folks. Ended up quitting the game and I found Phantasy Star Online 2. Joined an Alliance, and similarly I was rushed to finish content and ended up getting tired of the game and was on and off. Honestly wish I took my time with the game and enjoyed it all fully. I joined FFXIV, and even though I'm not in an Alliance, I do enjoy the company of joining queues in dungeons and the fact it's a team-focused game. Too many MMOs' communties force you into playing solo for the sake of flexing that I got tired of that toxicity and elitist mindset. I don't have to be in an Alliance, but being able to help randoms and making friends along the way is just as nice for my journey. I've later found a good friend group who has been very amazing people I've known for 2 years now, that now it's difficult to play games by myself anymore. They're very blunt people, which I like a lot. I got tired of people who sugarcoat things because they're highly likely to talk about you behind your back, or kick you without explaining things and they always act passive aggressive and wait for things to pile up to escalate things. Being solo for a while made me understand what I like, but now I've found people who fit with the new version of myself makes life even better.
My friends constantly told me catch up catch up. It took me a year to do ARR, cause it was just a gdamn slog. I was so alone, and the entire time they just kept encouraging me to catch up. Fast forward, I'm at the start of Shadow bringers and they are saying how much they can't wait to play. But these aren't just my ff14 friends, they are my discord friends, we do everything together, and I know most of them haven't been subbed for months. So it simply feels like they want the OPTION to do stuff with me, but I know deep down, if I was max level, I'd be just like them, bored with nothing to do and no reason to log on. So I took my time with the game, and so far I don't regret it. But it is... so ****ing lonely. I got to do Omega with them, and that was really the first time in 3 years I got to play with them. So here I am, once again trying to find the motivation to keep going, because I know they want me to catch up, but they still just cant' find the reasons to play the actual game with me. *MASSIVE SIGH OF FRUSTRATION* Edit :Also real talk, your friends are huge assclowns for blocking you. That's so ungodly lame.
I've been a solo player since 2016 and have gotten almost ever class to max level each expansion. Id love to have more people to play with but social anxiety has kept me from reaching out to other players. I try to do my best to be positive when I do chat in dungeons/raids/trials but I just cant find people I can comfortably talk to and game with no matter how bad I want to. I'm really glad FFXIV is built in a way that caters to solo gamers because its not the games fault I have anxiety.
Sauve I'm glad you got back into enjoying the game I'm sorry to hear you had a rough go at the start and sorry to hear about your family problems but I am glad you found a positive you awesome 😊😊
I only started playing this year, after burning out on D2. I got super lucky and got into a friend's FC full of super patient people who enjoy running older content, a fistful of mentors who enjoy helping new players, and a bunch of crafting maniacs who will throw gear at you if you mention hitting a milestone level-up even casually in chat. I also do a lot of fishing, creep through MSQ really slowly, soak up the cut scenes, and enjoy the ambience. It's really nice, but admittedly I had started a first character and felt like I had to rush through to catch up, then regretted it, rolled a new character, and have been doing it my way ever since. With a little help from my friends when I need it, and a little social time when I have the energy. I'm glad you found a way to enjoy the game, it's so easy to get stuck mentally in the "gotta do everything" gamer trap, but it's so nice to be in a world that actually rewards you if you stop to check out the scenery, catch a few fish, or plant a garden. Subscribed.
Online communities are too toxic these days to even bother playing an MMORPG. I had a lot of fun playing Dark Age of Camelot back in 2000-2004 though, before the genre was ruined by awful developers & awful communities of toxic players.
Great video. Back in the day, it felt harder to solo game FFXIV as compared to, say, WoW because of mandatory group content and things being gated by MSQ progression. However adding in duty support has made things much easier. It’s always awesome seeing other players finding their own path to enjoyment of a game.
Man I'm sorry you dealt with that, and I'm glad you found your way in the game, wish you could have been in a fc like mine, we are all about our community and we all respect diffrent ways of play, when I first joined that fc I didnt plan on staying cause I wanted to start my own, I even told em and they said that was ok because they were there for people to enjoy the game, but I cant now because I feel like I am in just the right place for me because it's such a good group of people who all enjoy the game in different ways and a place where when interests meet people get together and enjoy the game together
This resonates with me on a different perspective. While I appreciate those who like to solo FFXIV and be content with that decision: I find myself wanting that "positive" engagement from other players that is supposed to drive FFXIV as a MMO. While I have only been back for about a week or so now: FFXIV is proving to be a lonely experience. Being content with being alone is different from loveliness that can develop. After all: one can be in a crowded room and still be lonely. Being alone and loneliness are not the same. Having said that: you are correct in that there is no one specific way to play FFXIV. While I too have my "quiet" days where don't say much to anyone even in RL: that doesn't mean I will ignore someone in game if they speak to me. As I said before: I returned to FFXIV as a new player yes; but one who remembers certain things about the story (muddled as those memories maybe). While I have done some things solo: (for me personally) I am hoping to find a group of people to share my experiences with along the way and a group to fill in the missing pieces of the story in case something goes over my head. Yes, I am currently a solo player and am ok with that for now; but, even those who to solo content all the time still long for a connection to others on some level. That is human nature and in a MMO: sometimes it can take more energy to play solo that it does to play with a group. Perhaps that is a failing on my part; but, the ultimate goal is to enjoy the game the way you want as an individual. Personally: I wish I could just solo it which the desire for connection with others. Kudos to you that you are able to do that and enjoy playing FFXIV. :-)
This reflects my own experience so much. Having a group that was interested, but moved on, family issues taking up time and energy, even having a fishing main on my single character. I so wish that I could find two or three other people that enjoyed going at the casual pace I do. But I'm also happy (or maybe just accepted) playing the game alone.
I solo RP myself. I have 1 character that's the WoL in the story and I have 10+ alts with various background. There's the duskwight lancer who's shunned by Gridania, the Sea Wolf musketeer trying to revive the musketeer guild, The mysterious gambler who comes and go as he pleases etc.
Totally felt this and loved the video! I myself struggle with the same things at times, just have to remember you are playing to ENJOY YOURSELF! Like you said, it's a MMO and there is no right or wrong way to play. Nobody but you can make it fun :)
Good first video and glad people are talking about this subject more. I played FFXI for over 3 years with a group of rl friends till they all decided to quit. Was hard to play after that. When i started FFXIV i made some friends and started an FC. Lasted 2 years before another FC came and convinced a bunch of players to leave and join them. Been on a few servers because of stalkers and some vile people i was unlucky enough to meet. Now i play solo. I do everything alone and am even using the NPC's for dungeons more and more. It's lonely as hell but i am still loving the game.
Such a relatable story, I had a similar experience, and gave up on the game for a few years, but came back to it with the memory of how much I had enjoyed 11 when it was relavent. However, I didn't become a solo player, I came back and found an FC that I was able to click with really well and enjoyed interacting with everyone in it; though it could be said that we were an FC of solo players because unless someone needed help in a dungeon, we just did our own thing while chatting lol
I get this; I mainly play as a crafter main and while I sometimes do things with my FC, when given the choice, I'll craft/gather on my own and just give things to the FC for them to have fun. I don't feel sad when I don't do group content, I just do my own thing, but I will join FC events when they really want me to join.
This feels like a wholesome take and I thank you for it. I’ve always struggled getting to know new people and FFXIV felt overwhelming. When I first joined, my cousin invited me to their FC and they were all on such higher content it felt like I would never catch up. In time I left and returned to the game on my own. Played with friends of mine but they never stayed. Now I’m in a kind FC where I greet everyone and I can ask for help when needed. Maybe join in a random map grind. But otherwise everything is on my own. I like setting my own pace.
I'm going through the same issue with FF14 currently and my solution was also to create a custom story for my character. It really does create a new type of enjoyment for the game.
Kind of strange I guess but I've always considered FF14 as a Solo Game that had a social element to it. I know MSQ had forced group content but I never talked to anyone. The game feels so heavily based on story that it just doesn't feel like the typical MMO. I just queued the instance then went on with my business. I've never been part of any community or guild. I've played roughly about 5k hours total. I used to play on Ps4 but primarily play on PC now with about 2k hours on Steam. There's just so much content that can be done solo and that's what I enjoy. I think this is perfect online single player game on the market especially now that they have NPC party members. Being online just means there's always going to be updates and new things added unlike typical single player games which is what makes it so uniquely great. Glad you found your way play in the game that has near limitless options on how to do so.
I think your basic point is that everyone should find enjoyment in the game in the way that is most genuine to them. And that message is relevant regardless of whether you are an ultimate raider or a free trial player. It's so simple, but it is something that people can lose sight of.
Certainly relatable and pulled at the heartstrings. Similarly I joined a decent FC/discord etc...they were nice and helpful (at first). When I maxed WHM and could FINALLY play stuff with them, they already had their established teams for EX/Savage content and not inclusive. They were also much younger and had more time, so hard to relate. So I joined another, with the want of trying harder content, that promised fun and not hardcore. Still being new, the pressures to perform and learn (at the time) complicated tactics and rotations, and *sigh* FFLogs... Soon niceness turned to a toxic environment... It was so hurtful that I gave it up. Took me a while to get back into it, created an alt to redo the story since (like you) often rushed, and now I'm happy being a solo player. Yeah I depend on PUGS for higher content but good enough now to get through it! Couldn't be happier!
Same situation I was in, except I didn't even make it that far to finally join my fc for raids. As a bystander to every single one of their conversations about mechanics and rotations etc. I already figured I did not want to spend a monthly subscription learning just to be accepted. Finished the story, done with it.
Thank you for opening up about your experience and I feel like I get to understand even just a little more about the other people playing FFXIV. I'm on the opposite end where I can't play and don't enjoy the game without playing with others, and there have been highs and lows since I started playing in 2013. But I think FFXIV has given us this opportunity to create our own enjoyment, and I think thats what matters.
I can relate. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be alone around others. It's hard to explain but I need to be doing my own thing within the vicinity of others
The vibe in this vid is palpable. Friendship and loss, finding oneself, finding the joy in once sorrowful things. It's refreshing. I'd love to see more about your characters and their stories.
I understand the need to get away from everything and do your own thing. I've only been playing about a month, but I ground through the MSQ. The last few days I realized I needed to step back and figure out what I want to get out of the game, even if it's just Golden Saucer minigames, fishing, crafting/gathering. I enjoy the game and I have a few friends who play, but at the end of the day it's just me improving my character on my time, which feels good. All that to say, I appreciate your perspective and your willingness to share. It's helped a sprout feel better about their journey through a massive game.
This is a story of someone rediscovering themselves, and the joy they encounter while doing so. It feels great to find another kindred soul that is unattached. I was introduced to the game by someone I was close with at the time. The game outlasted our relationship. But even when I gathered the courage to return, I found out that remaining with the character and name I made to play the game with someone else colors my experience to a degree I never thought was possible. So about some time back, I pulled the trigger and fantasia’d, name changed, and changed homeworld. Begin again, as they say. I have to say, I never felt more free than before. Your message about playing for yourself and not for anyone else resonated greatly with me. I am glad you made this video, and I hope too you have a good time playing this game. Signed, another Solo Player.
I've been a solo player from the start and I don't regret it. I am in an FC but it's one where I don't have to participate in any activities and to be honest there aren't that many events anyway. Still you get help if you have a question which I like. So I found the perfect FC for myself and I try my very best to stay away from any trouble. RP isn't for me either which I feel is another source of social drama. But I do understand the wish to belong to a group and your experience is really really sad. I am glad to hear that you found your own place in the game without those "friends". Being alone does not always mean that a person is lonely. Just as being part of a group does not always mean that a person is NOT lonely. Enjoy the game in any way you like. :) I wish you all the best.
I’ve been playing the same way
i would pin this, if i could.
update: i can pin this now. :)
My experience has been very much the same. My life is quite busy with work and family. I don't have the free time I had when I was single and going to school. Yes I'm in a FC, they do activities every now and then but I just keep to myself and contribute to the FC every now and than as payment for the continual buffs. I have enjoyed setting my own pace and working toward my own goals I set for myself. Their is so much to FF14 and I'm in to rush to get to an "end game". I did that for years with other MMO's. I just want to enjoy this one and what it has to offer. Thank you for this video it was very well put together.
As far as I'm concerned being in an FC has never meant having to be socially active or demand you put resources into the group. People with that mentality are weird, even in other games like guild wars, blade and soul, WOW, etc. There maybe more insentive to socialize and be part of that "raid guild" but generally speaking its weird or cringe when people DEMAND that type of behavior.
Edit: Obviously in the case of raiding its less cringe if thats SPECIFICALLY their purpose obviously. Just like you know general thought if theres more casual people within that guild and they are also being demanded than thats weird.
It's so difficult to find established groups of friends that are open to new members and it's even more difficult when a group you thought was a good fit for you decides you aren't a good fit for them.
It's either the same type of players or different group of players who do the same shit.
@@pantherman8719 True! I will say though that I noticed that my own group had a guy that was actively being hostile to anyone that hung out with us. We kept meeting new people on ffxiv or wow and they'd be super chill but would eventually duck us after a while. He apparently was always just making off handed comments to be an ass when we weren't around and that reflected on us. Probably not always what turned people away from our group but something to look out for I guess.
this is actually so true especially since i just play pvp in this game with the side of ultimate raiding and savage. i've never been in an fc and all that but all the events that happened with my old pvp friend group seriously just turned me away from making new friends in this game sometimes because of how it reflects on the community. i mostly just miss one in that group, but the overall pvp community itself is just so entitled and i normally just play with the few friends i have from pve and 2 friends from my pvp friend group that went to shit. SO so right about everything you said
A good fit? They are friends to no one. "Oh FFXIV has such a great community!" There is no gaming community. It's just a bunch of sociopaths lying to themselves and the virtual world which causes no positive change for the benefit of humanity. "I'm so smart and superior! I click buttons, watch my DPS you worthless noob! It's my entire personality, 23,billion DPS! I'm world hero!" MMO gamer in a nutshell. Toodles o/
@user-vc2oy8pj7o wow, somebody really hurt your feelings...funny how you call an entire group of literally millions of ppl sociopaths and then proceed to launch a tyrade of hatred and vitriol. Good chance your problem lies in the mirror
It's interesting how you can feel even more lonely in an mmo than in a single player game. I'm lucky to have met good people in the game.
it's not interesting at all when you factor in people joining mmo's and their only tie to the game being from bonds and socialization.
There's an old sci-fi series I watched where one of the characters talked about realizing that the one thing worse than being all alone in the night is being all alone in a crowd, and there is some truth to that. If you're alone in your own space, then you're in your own space. Sure, it's just you, but you're still somewhere you can feel comfortable and at ease. When you're on your own and in a public space, you begin realizing that everyone is going about their own day, and that most of them probably don't stop to think about talking to some random person sitting off to the side somewhere, and that realization can be very depressing. The other side of that coin, though, is that you begin to realize that you don't have to worry about going to some place or have other people around in order to find some joy in life. Sure, those things can bring joy to your life, but if you're trying to pursue those things just because you want to have them, and not because you want to have people that you do stuff with, then it can very quickly lead to feelings of depression and burnout both in and out of game.
I think this is an interesting perspective to have. It's like that feeling of loneliness is amplified because MMO's are or have been traditionally about playing with other players and socializing to some degree.
@@s0vietg1nger20 Funny thing is I tended to ignore that aspect of MMOs by-and-large, and only really started becoming more aware of it much later. Back when I played DFO or Elsword I spent most of my time treating it as a solo player experience, and focused on mastery of skill for the character and class I was playing so as to clear out each part of a dungeon in the most expeditious possible way. Heck, Elsword was the first time I started actually socializing with a few other players and started a guild, and it took a long time for me to start gravitating towards that part of MMOs again in FFXIV. Now I have a FC where there’s at least a few players that are somewhat active, but everyone’s off doing their own thing, and we rarely chat like how we used to, so I e begun sinking back into doing my own thing on my own. It gives things a bit of a cyclical feel, to be honest, and not in the best way.
@@shaece798 dont really get what you mean, but people can have their own reasons for why and what they do in the game
thank you for the kindness and solidarity, everyone. :)
overall, i'm really glad that this was able to reach so many of you on so many different levels. or if it didn't resonate with you, that's okay. you all have your own stories and your own ways to play. regardless of social style or if you've decided to move on from the game entirely, as long as you are happier for it then that's all that really matters.
i decided i'll be working on the next vid soon. see ya there!
Never would have guessed this was your first video, the production quality is really good.
Her mentioning it as being her first video had me pausing to look at her sub and view counts. It's kind of wild thinking that you're there watching someone's first video with the first few days of it being uploaded. x)
thanks! i had a great time making it. :)
Finally someone gets it! I have spent 15+ years battling people who tell me to get out of their MMO because I am a solo player. I make my own world within the games world. I make own story. I don't need or want others to dictate what I do today. It is about choices.
I resonate with this so much. I love how you put it.
Sweatlords are notorious for being elitist. Games are supposed to be relaxing. Pretty much all MMO games these days have some type of content aimed at the solo player. I guarantee you there are at least as many of us as there are of them. If there weren't, these game developers wouldn't be devoting resources to developing that kind of content.
I was a solo player from day one. I’m very much the kind of person who dislikes multiplayer games but I love Final Fantasy games and really wanted to experience the FF14 storyline.
I really enjoy role playing along with the story as the Warrior of Light and find this experience more enjoyable than tenuous social interactions with strangers.
Agreed. I started playing this month and have really been enjoying the story. But I’ve always played solo games, and I absolutely HATE that I am required to do multiplayer duties in order to advance the MSQ. I do have fun with them, but I’d much rather prefer to do them with NPCs
@@CarbonFiberSwan In the later game, you won't need to run the dungeons with a group. They have the trust system, which allows you to run dungeons with your scion companions. Which is nice because you can continue to enjoy playing solo, and the story feels more real. Also, the npc scions know the mechanics lol, so if you don't, just follow them.
@@darkreality2733 Just finished Shadowbringer last night and was introduced to this. I am pretty happy about it, cause I much prefer playing with NPCs (mostly. Sometimes it's fun to play with other people)
Its things like this that i absolutely love about this community. I found this by sheer random, and I've been playing fairly consistently for a lil over a year. I've been feeling down because I've had run ins with RPers that consistently bash on my love for this games content in both story and quality. I wont lie I've made mistakes and im learning how this community works. I've even been hurt a few times.but when i see people like you post videos like this, i cant help but be inspired! I soloed the MSQ to make sure i got the story, the lore, all of it with every level of enjoyment i could manage! Yet i still feel down sometimes when i feel alone. But this video and others like it help me see that this community has truly wonderful people in it. And that the things you think are wrong with you and the way you play, are no more than a farce and just people getting you down. Like any community, this one has its good people and bad. You just have to find your people. No matter how many or how few!
if you are looking for new friends are ur on crystal let me know, FF14 is my first FF mmo and iv loved the group iv been with, they have been my first and only FC for 2 years, we offer some RP content, and some events too, we are an IRL first community too and its very friendly :) hope u have a good day
This 'community' is not all one and the same.
I completely agree. Honestly, I only got back into FFXIV during the Pandemic because a friend of mine mentioned having the game, but being on the fence about continuing it. So we chatted a bit and decided to make new characters to enjoy the story of the game from beginning to end. He had a female Viera character (this was back in ShB so Male Viera didn't exist yet), and we would sometimes joke about him jackrabitting along because of how quickly he would read through the dialogue outside of voiced cutscenes, and it got to the point where he would either be doing some crafting while waiting for me to catch up, or he would be doing housework in the background while I went through the reading at my own pace. We eventually started pursuing the MSQ independently due to scheduling constraints, but we still chat on occasion, and we're even co-heads in a FC. That's more due to everyone else going inactive and us getting the lead roles not too long after joining, though. x)
Roleplayers who bash you for learning about the game-world they're literally pretending to be part of? Well, that alone tells you what their opinion is worth.
As someone who rped for years its a miserable hobby to have because its hard to find a partner who isn't on main anime character syndrome. I pretty much avoid Rps these days. More power to folks who want to do it but I prefer a partner who share similar goals to me.
Thank you for sharing your story. There’s never a right or wrong way to enjoy the game, or set the game aside. Glad you’re still finding your way.
This is so relatable, I started XIV at the start of 2020 because of lockdowns and met a group of people and joined their FC.. about a year later I realized that I felt more alone in that FC than I felt just playing solo. The group became cliquey and only the popular players who raid ever got any interactions. It kinda felt like sitting alone in the cafeteria while others had fun. I ultimately ended up abandoning that character who I sank hundreds of hours on after I left the FC because the game just didn’t feel the same.
this. i was so worried for a while that i would never see Bat again. i'm happy that i eventually gave him another chance, but it took a long time for me to get there.
This actually spoke to me so much. Your video inspires me in my current situation in the game. I was a part of a very active FC for years that ended up splitting off and pretty much both splits ended in a social death. I'm in a pretty much dead FC at the moment. I can't leave it because the few that are there still login occasionally and the memories of them and their friendships mean so much to me. But for the most part my character plays solo. I am now learning to become a solo player because I love and enjoy the game so much.
Valuable lessons. I’m too much of a social gamer to enjoy it on my own, but I also cherish my small community of like-minded friends. We’re either getting too old for drama, or just shun it in general, and I hope it stays that way. Having FFXIV to always fall back on is nice.
I'm a solo player, been playing on and off since the ARR beta. Ive been in 1 FC and i honestly felt more alone in that so i left it shortly after joining. Most of my enjoyment comes from being a bard, i always stand in the same spot and try to learn music and play manually or just play midi's, and sometimes people will stop and listen for awhile, sometimes they strike up a conversation and try to talk to me, this has been the only way i really talk to anybody in the game as i have no friends.
being a bard always looks like it takes a lot of skill and concentration, i applaud you!
If you're ever around Mateus, I'll keep an eye out for that solo bard and toss you a gil and a convo.
I play extremely similarily, but I play with my bf during msq and daily roluettes. I tried to get more 'social' but it's often really awkward or scary. Solo is top tier
Started as a solo player and started an FC with friends that I made. Over the years, our FC grew, and drama in the FC eventually started to kill my experience. Uprooted from Sarg because of it, and now I'm in Halicarnassus back to enjoying the game as a solo player.
Left Sarg after five years, that place was cancer.
I would've never guessed this was your first video. True pro RUclipsr work. I'm in an active FC for the buffs, and I enjoy the FC chat for the random conversations people have, but I still 100% play by myself. I just prefer being a solo player. I don't have any consistent friends, but that's okay. I have my friends in real life, and I'm not looking to make any through 14. I know it is against the concept of what an MMO is, but I do play them wanting as little social interaction as possible.
Thank you for sharing your story! It offers a different perspective that we rarely hear from. I'm happy to hear that you're finding peace and happiness within your play style.
I'm learning to enjoy playing solo since many of my friends are taking breaks, and while it can be lonely for me, your story offers me a new way of thinking of things.
Ive always played solo, with the odd pop in from real life friends/family I managed to trick into trying it. Never had the urge to join an FC or anything (wish i could autoblock invites like in WoW), I just enjoy having little to no responsibility, no raid schedules, the feeling i can walk away for a month and not be inconveniencing anyone.
On the other hand i love feeling part of the community, seeing people running around, seeing sprouts, the crowds on patch day as you struggle to even see the quest giver, and even just chill chats during duties.
It's the feeling that I can experience this world and all it has to offer at my own pace (just like a single player game), knowing there are thousands of people out there sharing the same or simillar experience that i could reach out to anytime i want and know i will get a warm reply.
the number of times i've accidentally gotten myself killed in the middle of nowhere doing something stupid, then had to /shout for help and someone almost always came running to get me back on my feet. that's the community i know and love.
Thank you for sharing your experience. As a fellow solo player in an (different) MMO world, I feel a little less alone. Thank you.
Sorry to hear how you were given the cold shoulder without a real explanation. But you're right, it just proves that you were in the wrong group anyways.
Sounds like you have learned alot, & in the end good people like you will always deserve happiness. Best of luck! 👍
Sometimes I crave the company of others in my faveourite game FFXIV. Sometimes I want to be alone. I really love that solo'ing the content is an option. Sometimes I want to immerse myself in the lore and sometimes I want to take down a raid boss with real team mates but what those things have in common is that I love this game more than any other.
It's also great how you can queue up with just NPCs if you want to. Granted it's all random base class NPCs until somewhere between Heavensward and Stormblood, but it's honestly great that they have it as an option, and reaching the point where you and the other scions are taking on challenges together makes it feel so much better from an immersion standpoint. The first time I faced Hydaelyn in Endwalker, I completely ignored the option of doing it with other players, because for me this was an obstacle for the Scions to overcome together or not at all. That was only for the first time around, though. xD
I’m going to try FF for the first time. Comming from WoW. I dang near always solo. Rushing and trying to keep up with others is cool occasionally but my preference is solo. I only team up when I absolutely have to. I make my own alt community to be more and more self reliant. I’m like this in real life. My solitude is my energy. But I’m far from anti-social , just an introvert .
@@bigcali173 Welcome to the crew.
Been playing for 8 years. Have always been solo. I am in a great and active FC where there are no obligations. But I just lurk in it. The characters of the story are my friends. I get more fulfillment from my adventures with the Scions. I get more enjoyment out of doing things on my own time. Grouping up when I feel like it. Raiding when I want. Doing RP or attending parties when the mood strikes. I prefer it this way and it works for me.
I treasure my solitude in FFXIV. I love raiding with real people, but sometimes I just want some peace and quiet. I love that the game allows me spaces where I can just chill out alone and think, while I do some retainer management, or farm crops, or just listen to music.
Thank you for sharing your experience and general approach to this game. I really appreciate your perspective and story :)
I have learned to play the game for me. I had an old FC that would really push me through the game so we could start raiding or so they could start talking about spoilers. And that was always rough, they'd always say shit like "just watch the cutscenes in the inn later" like it was so easy.
As someone who has combed through the inn journal, there are several chunks of story missing when it comes to reliving the story. And you only get to experience the story for the first time, once. So being pressured to skipping those cutscenes also pressured me into skipping that first time experience. There are huge chunks of the game I have missed out on because of that kind of pressure.
I started a bun boi to remedy this, and though I do really want to raid, I'm going to take my sweet ass time with him. I have gotten into fishing in the early game, it's actually really exciting! He'll eventually become my main, but until then he's helping me relive the ARR through Shadowbringer experience I never truly got to have. At least not without being told to hurry up because apparently my sub and experience doesn't matter to people who speed read through cutscenes or outright skip them because they don't care.
This is exactly why they made the cutscenes in Castrum and Prae unskippable.
Would love to hear more about your character lore! Thanks for taking the plunge and sharing your thoughts!
Second this! Please do a video on the character lore you created.
I played back when arr came out and had a ton of fun! But halfway through the story, I just felt rushed and had a hard to keep up with the story. That was mostly because of the duties/instances. Whenever I got into a dungeon, the tank would rush through the entire dungeon and watching the entire cutscenes caused most people to get mad 😅 so I just ran after them, healing where possible and bam... Quest done... I had no idea of the story or what even happened. After that, I quit due to me going to college and lack of time to play. I started playing around a month ago and love how "single player" you can be! Now you're able to play most story dungeons with a team of npcs. I can take the time to look at everything, read text of whatever you find and just take it easy! Back then, there was a big focus on progress, especially within the FCs I joined. But now I take it easy 😊 heck, I even found out I love gathering and crafting! It's so relaxing to gather everything you need to make items yourself 😊
There's all kind of players and that's absolutely fine! ❤
This touched on so many similar things for me. Especially the "not connecting with the WoL", I'm fine with the WoL as a storytelling method, but just like you, MY characters have never been the WoL. Also, thanks for saying you have multiple characters. The only real friend I made from FF still gives me crap about having alts. I tried to explain that each character was just that, a different character, not just some skin I could change at random. Sorry, I digress. Again, you echoed so many good points. I'm glad you're enjoying the game, however you want to play it!
Im so happy this popped up in my recommendations, because this is giving my play style validation. I'm one month into the free trial, and learned very early on that I love crafting. Gaming to me has always been slow and grindy, as I try to 100% the first playthrough. So I approached FF14 the same way. Since its also my first mmo , I really wanted to learn the controls before trying to join a group for rp and dungeons. The players are amazing and eager to help me with fates, but as someone's who incredibly shy in RL, when I become overwhelmed, I feel frazzled and a burden. I've only just joined the grand company, but watching my crafting/land jobs level up with a check beside every successful craft is just so satisfying.
This right here...everything hits so close to home. I am mid recovery from various social stigmas but it feels so good to know I am not alone. Also, FISHING IS LIFE!
Been feeling very much this way and just made an Alt recently to get away from the stress of my main. Glad you came to enjoy the game again in a new way
I'm really glad FF14 is very solo friendly. I just wanted to experience Final Fantasy and didn't come to socialize, like most multiplayer game communities online, you face a lot of the same hang-ups in people arguably more pronounced with it being online.
Thank you very much!! I greatly enjoy solo play. It's nice to hear others experiences as solo players and how they best utilize their time in game. I'm enjoying doing everything on my one and main character.
Wishing you all the best!!
Feeling lonely in an mmo somehow stings more than I feel it should.
Maybe it's the combination of invested time and feeling like everything is falling apart, while also feeling reluctant to find new "greener pastures".
this is very valid. the emotional (and financial) investment i had put into the game is exactly what led me to even try attempt it from a solo perspective. while i still feel lonely from time to time, those are the days i tend to log out and work on something different. otherwise, i've found my own joy in playing the game alone while not feeling so lonely.
and i've left other opportunities to find me, rather than me being the one to seek them out. when it happens, it'll happen. :)
100% Ive been playing this game for 4 years. the most fun I have in the game is when I do it my own way. I have a wonderful group of friends now but moslty I play solo and jump into FC hat when people have questions etc. I LOVE the housing aspect in this game as well.
I feel like seeing this video has let me come to terms finally after all these years playing the game. My experience with social death might be far from the norm, but it's largely been my struggle to fight against [and eventually accept] an increasingly growing writer's block to retire from roleplaying in general, as well as just accepting that my natural inclination in MMOs is, effectively, to be a hermit. I had it in my head that to fully enjoy an MMO you had to be socially active, join groups and the like and...it's not really the case? At least not with FF14. Despite being a 2.0 week 1 launch player it took me forever and a half to realize I'm just built to not actively seek out people, and be completely at peace with largely floating about alone in this game. Still enjoy it, immensely, but, don't always need people with me to enjoy it.
...That was a bit of an uneven rambling, but thanks for posting this video. I think I'm finally able to just say I'm happy with my current terms of engagement with this game. And don't need to force things to change.
Due to my schedule it's really hard to be anything but a solo player, but going through an experience like you did and still being able to get back in and find your joy playing...that's really inspiring. Thanks for sharing not just your story, but also your characters, and I love to hear more about them. So few people go into the lore of their characters and their personal journeys in these video essays, and that's the stuff that gets me hype to play again, so I appreciate that. God bless, keep enjoying yourself, and have a great forever.
I just left my fc today and honestly, I realized that all my friends actually left to. But I feel great and very similar to you. Congrats for finding your enjoyment again :)
Honestly, I really feel you... I’m playing solo since ARR. Still the part of my good old FC, but I barely touch any content with them. Mostly because of the irl schedule, cause I’m really busy with my work and everything. So I never do savages or ultimates cause I simply don’t have time for that and don’t wanna be a dead weight for my party. So I always feel a bit off and kinda lost, especially after some mates left the FC. But what I love about the 14th is that you can play however you want. I honestly found myself addicted to Island Sanctuary. And I still enjoy playing all the roulettes and especially alliance raids (‘twas always my fav content btw). It’s way less stressful when you play the game extremely casually as a solo player. And that can be fun, no matter what others say.
As soon as you mentioned the RP community I'm like "oh boy.."
It's usually the Roleplay community, a horrible FC, or both.
There’s only one thing you do with RPers, and I’ve been playing this game for 10 years, you ignore them. They basically don’t exist to me.
@@veesalazar8605yeah its just easy to ignore I rarely rp with others cause Im not as outgoing or social either as others is though. If you don't like something best thing you can do is just ignore and not interact
@@PrincessofKeys Honestly, my preferred rp format is either a tabletop rpg or a text-based rpg. The latter was my first introduction to the idea of writing and playing a character, and it's honestly a fun thing to do in my opinion. I don't know about rping in a mmo though. The idea of it always felt kind of weird to me.
@@TormaXimnus To me it always felt like a fun way to co-write a story with someone and creatively it felt really fun and exciting to bounce ideas off of another person in the moment in a way that felt a lot more interactive than just reading or writing. I've heard people say it's like acting or performing and I can see that. But I do think a lot of people use roleplay as a kind of escapism from their real lives to the point where they identify with a character so much that the character is them, or who they wish they were. I don't know if parasocial is the right word but a lot of the "unhinged" people are that way because they have real emotions because in their mind their character is them and your character is you.
@@fishsticks2965 I can’t say I know what that kind of thing is like on either end. I have had a similar problem where I get too into the mindset of my character to the point where I start losing myself in it, but with my own shortcomings added in, and that’s a volatile mix that can easily lead to fights, meltdowns, or even exclusion. I’ve recently been in a text-based rp where I’m playing a specific kind of character, and more than once I’ve had to stop and think about a post idea and realize that this particular character wouldn’t react that way, thus resulting in me rethinking things with that specific character in mind.
Thank you so much for this video.
I have a few friends in this game, I've joined an fc and had a RP group before, but I always end up going back to playing solo. I was never much of a social person and that bothers me a lot, but it's important to understand that it's okay to be like this, and sometimes this can be really difficult. This video reminded me that there's nothing wrong with me, this is just the way I am and the way I play games. I wish you all the best, hope you keep enjoying the game and having a great time!
Im happy others play ffxiv like i do
GOD this video is relatable. I've only been playing for about a year now, but it only takes a fraction of that to realized how toxic and cliquey the community can be, not even the RP community, but FCs as well. It's like going through highschool all over again. I'm glad you found a way to keep playing the game rather than cast it off entirely. There's a lot to love here, despite it's flaws, and it's worth sticking it through
It's because the vast majority of people who play are absolute losers in real life and the game is litetally all they have. I say this as someone who has played since 1.0. It is very rare to find people who actually have their life together and are stable
@@KainsAddiction except I've had the literal exact opposite experience 🤷♂ nothing but SUPER nice people all the way ️
@@Splizacular What does super nice have to do with being an absolute failure in life?
@@KainsAddiction You kinda sound like you have personal experience in that department if you're getting all heated in youtube comments lol
@@madelinebitts2766 Spare me your high school psychology bs. Over ten years experience in game, and it's become glaringly obvious
I've been playing for about 1 years now and I'm completely a solo player. I joined an FC for xp boosts and whatnot, and they don't require anything from me, so it all works out fine. I only have 5 ppl in my friends list, 2 of those are active and we never do anything besides play triple triad. Lol over all I'm satisfied playing by myself seeing as I don't have a lot of free time to play, and I'm enjoying the time that I do have. Also, I NEVER skip any cinematics I haven't seen before. I'm not here to please others. I'm here to enjoy the game myself. If I make friends, great. If not, no worries.
I was in a FC that had a discord. They were cool but I multitask a lot. I’ll be playing 1-3 games at a time. So I couldn’t be in the game as much as I could have been. Or hanging out with all of them shooting the crap.
They seemed close knit and knew each other fairly well. I was there when we finally got our own house. It was a great experience. But eventually they kicked me from the discord from not being active. Which I don’t totally blame them.
I didn’t really mind playing solo. But some endgame stuff can be a nightmare.
I enjoyed the story a lot more solo. It let me immerse myself in the world and characters. I felt connected and could really allow myself to feel the emotion towards each character and possible deaths.
I completely understand the pressure that an FC can put on you to rush the MSQ.
Mine always wants to run stuff together, and whenever they're on with me, I always feel pressured to do dailies and be caught up on the MSQ to run stuff with them.
But honestly, it completely stresses me out, and doing dailies every time I get on burns me out from the game. It's just not what interests me.
So I've finally told them that I'm not interested in being caught up on the MSQ, and I've had to get comfortable being honest and telling them I'm not interested in dailies if they're running them when I'm on sometimes. Sometimes, I just want to go fishing.
Thankfully, it's a very small and understanding FC, so they get it.
I'm excited for the Dawntrail expansion for the graphics update and second dye channel, but honestly, I don't actually plan to run through the MSQ on it for a very long time. I'm no longer caught up on any of the recent patch quests, and I've been playing on lower-level alts for solo role-play, and don't really care to do all the latest content anymore.
I've found doing that, playing slower, and taking the pressure off myself to always be caught up has greatly improved the experience for me. I can just chill and take the game at my own pace now.
I just want to thank you for making this video. I feel you said a lot of things i needed to hear and that explain why i have not been enjoying the game for some time now. I too am mostly a solo player, have been for 10 years since 2.0 and tbh I feel pretty alone myself. A lot of it has to do with the people I hung out with and some of it I feel was my own fault but seeing that its not just me that has felt this way and seeing how you got passed it is very helpful. Thanks!
I relate to this so much. I have joined so many FCs because I felt like I wanted to make friends, and then left so many FCs because I stopped logging in because the FC can see when I log in and I didn’t want to be obligated to talk to people every time I log in. I’m also not interested in high end content. I still enjoy being in a world populated by other players, I love doing fates with strangers, but I also want to log in and not talk to anyone a lot of the time! I’m now a “free agent” and not part of an FC, and enjoying doing a lot of the same things you do!
This sounds almost identical to how I am with FFXIV.
I have been playing solo for a while now and I love being able to explore things freely with no commitments. It can be lonely sometimes, but I enjoy the freedom. Thanks for sharing your story.
I love this kind of video about people’s unique experiences with MMOs.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's made me feel not so alone. I had a horrific experience in WoW with my former guild. I'm autistic and was being bullied for my limitations. My boyfriend and I quit and tried out FFXIV. We loved it. But a few of my old guild mates came with us. I thought they were our friends, but they began harassing me in FF as well. Basically, they wanted my BF and I to rush through the content so they could raid. And when I couldn't go fast enough, the whole thing ended very badly. After my experience, I'm afraid of being very social. FF is great, because you can do anything in the game, without having to deal with others. You can be as socially active as is comfortable for you. It's nice. But both my BF and myself were so burned, we had to walk away from mmos all together. I still suffer from anxiety issues and depression. Healing has been a long road. I haven't played FF for a few years, but your video has inspired me, and I think I might try it out again. I'm sorry you went through that. But this has been very helpful. Thank you so much. Btw, the video was really good. Well done =)
Been playing MMOs forever, literally since before MMOs technically even existed (I'm talking MUDs and MUSHes) and one thing that always happens in these games is 99% of people you meet and befriend you will lose touch with.
It can suck, because you make great friends and then they're just gone, but also its kinda awesome once you realize there are nearly infinite number of new friends just waiting to meet you. Just gotta take that leap instead of sitting around feeling lonely. And becoming comfortable with playing solo and having that solo outlook can be a huge help when you're in one of those social rebuilding phases.
Starting over somewhere new can eventually even become fun, I moved to the new datacenter when I returned to 14 this most recent time and its been amazing meeting new people and being surrounded by sprouts again. Last time I started playing WoW again, back at the start of Dragonflight, I started up on a new server and played Horde for the first time since the original launch, what a trip that was.
Now that I'm back in FFXIV again I'm looking forward to even delving into some roleplay again which is something I haven't done in any MMOs in years after being soured about it by some unwanted ERP and relationship RP pressure.
This video is such a vibe, and thank you for giving us solo players a voice ❤
Im glad you found a way to enjoy the game despite everything
Im also a solo and really love the game but its weird getting into the community; its like everyones deep into the fandom and Im just a busy student who likes to login sometimes after being offline for months...
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I really admire your strength to not only endure the mistreatment of a squad to jerks but to also not let that social death dissuade you from a game you love. Cheers!
This video is truly beautiful. Thanks so much for your story, Suave. The older I get - the more "solo" I become. Be blessed and continue sharing.
Thank you for this video. I felt quite close to this. I for many years have been a solo player. Playing a multitude of multiplayer games looking for some interaction but in the end resorting to being solo. Close to a decade ago, I too had experienced a "Social death" but in another game called Ragnarok online. I was part of a guild that felt like family. We were extremely close and it only took the leader leaving for it all to fall apart. I have not been able to join a single group of people that I could call "friends".
I just started up FF14 myself and have been worried that my current mental thoughts would have a hard time progressing or doing something of worth in the game, but your videos have helped me in this regard. Thank you. I do not know how long my journey will be but I will try to make the best of it.
Thank you for sharing your story I'm sure a lot of 14 players understand what you've been through in one way or another and the developers of the game get that as well, which is why they are going for a more RPG experience to satisfy both type of gamers and that just makes me love this game even more, it is just as you said it there is no wrong way of playing this game ^^.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I can really realate to what you had to say about the feeling of isolation in a mmo. Very wholesome positive outlook.
This was honestly a pretty good video and one that spoke to my heart of hearts. I have a rather "petite" social battery and I've been left behind and forgotten more than a few times so I went through a similar "journey" as yours. Please keep the videos coming and I hope more people find your content (and find it as pleasant as I did :P)
Just found this video and boy does it hit home.. I was a solo player that tried to be more social and then immediately went back to solo minus my old 1.0 group of irl friends. My FC during my social era got upset that I worked really hard to clear content and passed their “Ace” player. Since they couldn’t have that, they tried to run me off my Data Center. I’m glad you found your peace and I hope anyone struggling to find their place solo or social can as well.
This is the best attitude to have about FFXIV, maybe even MMOs in general, in my opinion.
For myself I never really considered to do the MSQ with others because I understand everyone has their own way of playing a game. Some care for the story, others don't. And that is fine. Always play games like YOU want to and not how others would like you to. Otherwise you some day come to the realization that this is like having a 2nd/3rd or even 4th job to you hate to do but kind of feel like you're obligated to show up to. And that is not why you play games.
Games are meant for you to recover from your stressful day not add to it.
Whoever reads this: Guys. Have fun and enjoy what you love! 🤗
I had something similar happen to me recently with people i met in-game. And thought a friendship developed. It is true how one can feel even more isolated, even within a group of people. Over time, I realized that some people arent a good fit. It helped my mental health to disassociate with them. Toxicity isnt always apparent, but rather how some people can make you feel. I feel so much better as a single player gamer in 14, while helping folks in dungeons, or a PF scenario when the urge to socialize is there, even emoting randomly in a place with folks, than go back to do my own thing. The game became so fun again! Just wanted to say i relate to you here, and so thankful you made it out too. So sorry this happened to you.
It's always nice to know that I'm not the only one who went through it in this game and community. I started out the same way, solo, until I moved to the RP server and started meeting Rpers and say they're interested in my character. This is a long story and if I made a video it would be about 2 hours of just letting it all out 😅. Moral of the story is, not everyone has good intentions AT ALL and I almost completely left the entire thing until I met some people that gave me faith in this community. Advice for this community, please please please stop bringing your trauma to people who don't know you and then lie on, guilt trip, manipulate, and gas light the person who just wants friends.
Great video! A lot of the things you mention are definitely relatable and I personally tend to be the solo player who enjoys playing with others rather than looking for others to play with.
Me who always become solo player in mmo eventhough I had many friends, it's just look cool 😎
What a beautiful video, and I don’t even play Final Fantasy, thanks for taking the time to do this
This was a lovely video! It's always great to get unique perspectives from all types of FF14 Players. It can be easy to loose sight of people like you when you all ever see is the mainstream playstyle.
I'm happy you were able to find YOUR joy in the game. :)
Thank you for this video I am back at the game for the first time since release. I'm not super social or good at chatting with my controller and I struggle with that aspect of this game. But I wanted to just say thank you for reminding me that the game is what you make it.
I feel exactly like this from time to time, sometimes it's great to be with people and sometimes it's just nice to be alone, that's the greatest part of this game and any MMO that allows it.
I'd like to think I have a pretty good social battery but on some days I just want to be alone and that's fine, do what you enjoy and live how you want to live.
It's good that you bounced back up and found enjoyment again, some people get burned and never come back or they just turn into someone completely different, to accept and heal with time is a good and mental health is even more so important to look after.
I've had "friends" block me too. It's soul crushing. I'm so sorry that happened to you. ☹💜
I love that more and more people add their takes into the mix and this was a really good video. I also love crafting and gathering, and it can be so chill to just sit a fish for a while. Admittedly I have lost a bit of that while being in "endgame" and raiding and feeling like I need to do extremes etc. This video got me thinking I should just go to a spot and fish again. Thank you for posting this
Oh right, your old FC sounds like horrible people and we do not claim them. I am glad that you kept going and realized they are the problem, not you.
I used to play Elsword. I was the leader of a guild, a pretty large one too. Was pretty young too. Not going into detail, but things went downhill and I decided to shut down the guild due to so many drama that kept happening. Tried joining other guilds, but it never felt the same. So I decided to just go solo. It was fun, gave me an ego boost being able to solo things. But it later got lonely, it was really fun playing with folks. Ended up quitting the game and I found Phantasy Star Online 2. Joined an Alliance, and similarly I was rushed to finish content and ended up getting tired of the game and was on and off. Honestly wish I took my time with the game and enjoyed it all fully. I joined FFXIV, and even though I'm not in an Alliance, I do enjoy the company of joining queues in dungeons and the fact it's a team-focused game. Too many MMOs' communties force you into playing solo for the sake of flexing that I got tired of that toxicity and elitist mindset. I don't have to be in an Alliance, but being able to help randoms and making friends along the way is just as nice for my journey. I've later found a good friend group who has been very amazing people I've known for 2 years now, that now it's difficult to play games by myself anymore. They're very blunt people, which I like a lot. I got tired of people who sugarcoat things because they're highly likely to talk about you behind your back, or kick you without explaining things and they always act passive aggressive and wait for things to pile up to escalate things. Being solo for a while made me understand what I like, but now I've found people who fit with the new version of myself makes life even better.
My friends constantly told me catch up catch up.
It took me a year to do ARR, cause it was just a gdamn slog. I was so alone, and the entire time they just kept encouraging me to catch up.
Fast forward, I'm at the start of Shadow bringers and they are saying how much they can't wait to play. But these aren't just my ff14 friends, they are my discord friends, we do everything together, and I know most of them haven't been subbed for months.
So it simply feels like they want the OPTION to do stuff with me, but I know deep down, if I was max level, I'd be just like them, bored with nothing to do and no reason to log on.
So I took my time with the game, and so far I don't regret it.
But it is... so ****ing lonely. I got to do Omega with them, and that was really the first time in 3 years I got to play with them. So here I am, once again trying to find the motivation to keep going, because I know they want me to catch up, but they still just cant' find the reasons to play the actual game with me.
*MASSIVE SIGH OF FRUSTRATION*
Edit :Also real talk, your friends are huge assclowns for blocking you. That's so ungodly lame.
I've been a solo player since 2016 and have gotten almost ever class to max level each expansion. Id love to have more people to play with but social anxiety has kept me from reaching out to other players. I try to do my best to be positive when I do chat in dungeons/raids/trials but I just cant find people I can comfortably talk to and game with no matter how bad I want to. I'm really glad FFXIV is built in a way that caters to solo gamers because its not the games fault I have anxiety.
Sauve I'm glad you got back into enjoying the game I'm sorry to hear you had a rough go at the start and sorry to hear about your family problems but I am glad you found a positive you awesome 😊😊
FF14 respects your time and choices. It’s why I always come back to it. Also this video was validating. Thank you.
I only started playing this year, after burning out on D2. I got super lucky and got into a friend's FC full of super patient people who enjoy running older content, a fistful of mentors who enjoy helping new players, and a bunch of crafting maniacs who will throw gear at you if you mention hitting a milestone level-up even casually in chat. I also do a lot of fishing, creep through MSQ really slowly, soak up the cut scenes, and enjoy the ambience. It's really nice, but admittedly I had started a first character and felt like I had to rush through to catch up, then regretted it, rolled a new character, and have been doing it my way ever since. With a little help from my friends when I need it, and a little social time when I have the energy. I'm glad you found a way to enjoy the game, it's so easy to get stuck mentally in the "gotta do everything" gamer trap, but it's so nice to be in a world that actually rewards you if you stop to check out the scenery, catch a few fish, or plant a garden. Subscribed.
Online communities are too toxic these days to even bother playing an MMORPG. I had a lot of fun playing Dark Age of Camelot back in 2000-2004 though, before the genre was ruined by awful developers & awful communities of toxic players.
Thank you! Now I don't feel so weird because I hate rushing in the game and love to play "playing" enjoying every activity!
Great video. Back in the day, it felt harder to solo game FFXIV as compared to, say, WoW because of mandatory group content and things being gated by MSQ progression. However adding in duty support has made things much easier. It’s always awesome seeing other players finding their own path to enjoyment of a game.
Man I'm sorry you dealt with that, and I'm glad you found your way in the game, wish you could have been in a fc like mine, we are all about our community and we all respect diffrent ways of play, when I first joined that fc I didnt plan on staying cause I wanted to start my own, I even told em and they said that was ok because they were there for people to enjoy the game, but I cant now because I feel like I am in just the right place for me because it's such a good group of people who all enjoy the game in different ways and a place where when interests meet people get together and enjoy the game together
This resonates with me on a different perspective. While I appreciate those who like to solo FFXIV and be content with that decision: I find myself wanting that "positive" engagement from other players that is supposed to drive FFXIV as a MMO. While I have only been back for about a week or so now: FFXIV is proving to be a lonely experience. Being content with being alone is different from loveliness that can develop. After all: one can be in a crowded room and still be lonely. Being alone and loneliness are not the same. Having said that: you are correct in that there is no one specific way to play FFXIV. While I too have my "quiet" days where don't say much to anyone even in RL: that doesn't mean I will ignore someone in game if they speak to me. As I said before: I returned to FFXIV as a new player yes; but one who remembers certain things about the story (muddled as those memories maybe). While I have done some things solo: (for me personally) I am hoping to find a group of people to share my experiences with along the way and a group to fill in the missing pieces of the story in case something goes over my head. Yes, I am currently a solo player and am ok with that for now; but, even those who to solo content all the time still long for a connection to others on some level. That is human nature and in a MMO: sometimes it can take more energy to play solo that it does to play with a group. Perhaps that is a failing on my part; but, the ultimate goal is to enjoy the game the way you want as an individual. Personally: I wish I could just solo it which the desire for connection with others. Kudos to you that you are able to do that and enjoy playing FFXIV. :-)
This reflects my own experience so much. Having a group that was interested, but moved on, family issues taking up time and energy, even having a fishing main on my single character.
I so wish that I could find two or three other people that enjoyed going at the casual pace I do. But I'm also happy (or maybe just accepted) playing the game alone.
I solo RP myself. I have 1 character that's the WoL in the story and I have 10+ alts with various background. There's the duskwight lancer who's shunned by Gridania, the Sea Wolf musketeer trying to revive the musketeer guild, The mysterious gambler who comes and go as he pleases etc.
Totally felt this and loved the video! I myself struggle with the same things at times, just have to remember you are playing to ENJOY YOURSELF! Like you said, it's a MMO and there is no right or wrong way to play. Nobody but you can make it fun :)
Good first video and glad people are talking about this subject more. I played FFXI for over 3 years with a group of rl friends till they all decided to quit. Was hard to play after that. When i started FFXIV i made some friends and started an FC. Lasted 2 years before another FC came and convinced a bunch of players to leave and join them. Been on a few servers because of stalkers and some vile people i was unlucky enough to meet. Now i play solo. I do everything alone and am even using the NPC's for dungeons more and more. It's lonely as hell but i am still loving the game.
Such a relatable story, I had a similar experience, and gave up on the game for a few years, but came back to it with the memory of how much I had enjoyed 11 when it was relavent. However, I didn't become a solo player, I came back and found an FC that I was able to click with really well and enjoyed interacting with everyone in it; though it could be said that we were an FC of solo players because unless someone needed help in a dungeon, we just did our own thing while chatting lol
I get this; I mainly play as a crafter main and while I sometimes do things with my FC, when given the choice, I'll craft/gather on my own and just give things to the FC for them to have fun. I don't feel sad when I don't do group content, I just do my own thing, but I will join FC events when they really want me to join.
This is exactly how I play Dragon Quest X.
This feels like a wholesome take and I thank you for it. I’ve always struggled getting to know new people and FFXIV felt overwhelming. When I first joined, my cousin invited me to their FC and they were all on such higher content it felt like I would never catch up. In time I left and returned to the game on my own. Played with friends of mine but they never stayed. Now I’m in a kind FC where I greet everyone and I can ask for help when needed. Maybe join in a random map grind. But otherwise everything is on my own. I like setting my own pace.
I'm going through the same issue with FF14 currently and my solution was also to create a custom story for my character. It really does create a new type of enjoyment for the game.
doing this literally changed my brain chemistry in gaming.
Kind of strange I guess but I've always considered FF14 as a Solo Game that had a social element to it. I know MSQ had forced group content but I never talked to anyone. The game feels so heavily based on story that it just doesn't feel like the typical MMO. I just queued the instance then went on with my business. I've never been part of any community or guild. I've played roughly about 5k hours total. I used to play on Ps4 but primarily play on PC now with about 2k hours on Steam. There's just so much content that can be done solo and that's what I enjoy. I think this is perfect online single player game on the market especially now that they have NPC party members. Being online just means there's always going to be updates and new things added unlike typical single player games which is what makes it so uniquely great. Glad you found your way play in the game that has near limitless options on how to do so.
I think your basic point is that everyone should find enjoyment in the game in the way that is most genuine to them. And that message is relevant regardless of whether you are an ultimate raider or a free trial player. It's so simple, but it is something that people can lose sight of.
Ive been a solo gamer for a few years now. Sure Ill help anyone if they ask but for the most part i log in, do my stuff, bounce.
Certainly relatable and pulled at the heartstrings. Similarly I joined a decent FC/discord etc...they were nice and helpful (at first). When I maxed WHM and could FINALLY play stuff with them, they already had their established teams for EX/Savage content and not inclusive. They were also much younger and had more time, so hard to relate. So I joined another, with the want of trying harder content, that promised fun and not hardcore. Still being new, the pressures to perform and learn (at the time) complicated tactics and rotations, and *sigh* FFLogs... Soon niceness turned to a toxic environment... It was so hurtful that I gave it up. Took me a while to get back into it, created an alt to redo the story since (like you) often rushed, and now I'm happy being a solo player. Yeah I depend on PUGS for higher content but good enough now to get through it! Couldn't be happier!
Same situation I was in, except I didn't even make it that far to finally join my fc for raids. As a bystander to every single one of their conversations about mechanics and rotations etc. I already figured I did not want to spend a monthly subscription learning just to be accepted. Finished the story, done with it.
Thank you for opening up about your experience and I feel like I get to understand even just a little more about the other people playing FFXIV. I'm on the opposite end where I can't play and don't enjoy the game without playing with others, and there have been highs and lows since I started playing in 2013. But I think FFXIV has given us this opportunity to create our own enjoyment, and I think thats what matters.
This whole social death sound more like "How it feels to reach yours 30s"
i feel seen.
I can relate. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be alone around others. It's hard to explain but I need to be doing my own thing within the vicinity of others
The vibe in this vid is palpable. Friendship and loss, finding oneself, finding the joy in once sorrowful things. It's refreshing. I'd love to see more about your characters and their stories.
I understand the need to get away from everything and do your own thing. I've only been playing about a month, but I ground through the MSQ. The last few days I realized I needed to step back and figure out what I want to get out of the game, even if it's just Golden Saucer minigames, fishing, crafting/gathering. I enjoy the game and I have a few friends who play, but at the end of the day it's just me improving my character on my time, which feels good. All that to say, I appreciate your perspective and your willingness to share. It's helped a sprout feel better about their journey through a massive game.
This is a story of someone rediscovering themselves, and the joy they encounter while doing so. It feels great to find another kindred soul that is unattached.
I was introduced to the game by someone I was close with at the time. The game outlasted our relationship. But even when I gathered the courage to return, I found out that remaining with the character and name I made to play the game with someone else colors my experience to a degree I never thought was possible.
So about some time back, I pulled the trigger and fantasia’d, name changed, and changed homeworld. Begin again, as they say. I have to say, I never felt more free than before.
Your message about playing for yourself and not for anyone else resonated greatly with me. I am glad you made this video, and I hope too you have a good time playing this game.
Signed, another Solo Player.