Here are the two ways to work with me: 🛠 12-Week Pleaser-to-Leader Program (Free 15 minute call) Break free from people-pleasing and lead with confidence. More info at: www.olivercowlishaw.com/pleasertoleader/ 🎯 1-on-1 Breakthrough Session Book a powerful single session to get unstuck and find direction: calendly.com/ocowlishaw/clarity Thanks, mate
I've been feeling lost and disconnected from my "self" to a great degree recently. Unable to share my own true thoughts, hiding behind a mask - at work.. with friends.. even with my girlfriend. I thought I solved it in the past but now it's coming crashing down and affected all aspects of my life. The key pattern: seeking external validation. I am controlled by it. My life is lead by it. I fucking hate it. Luckily, I've connected it back to my relationship with my father, a very rocky one. Thank you for being born Oliver and holding your head up and climbing out of the hole. You show to other men that it's possible just like Bane did in Batman.
Thank you so much for sharing, mate. It's absolutely possible and I commend you for connecting it back to your relationship with your father. It's uncomfortable sometimes to acknowledge this. But most of our patterns can be traced back to childhood conditioning. Occasionally we just need help in connecting the dots. This is why I do the work I do with clients.
I've recently hit rock bottom. Angry, lost, self-destructive and struggling. Your videos have really helped. Everytime you say mate it really feels like I have one. Thank you. In due time I'll be that guy that makes it and you'll be one of the factors that made it so.
Oliver, dude. I was actually tearing up throughout this entire video. You described me so accurately. I felt like you were speaking directly to my soul man. It’s especially pertinent since I went on a date this last Friday. What you said about deeply routed shame and feeling broken really struck a chord. There so much to unpack about myself and it’s hard to see or understand but I’m willing to take steps towards becoming myself, fully. I’m shocked you don’t have more views and subscribers man. As I said, you spoke directly to my soul. Thank you. Going to book a chat through the link if it’s possible from South Africa. Lots of love man -Aaron
Aaron. Thanks for sharing all of this, mate. I'm glad it struck a chord with you and in some ways I'm not surprised. Because I used to be there. It sucked. I overcame it. I know what tends to work and what doesn't. Go ahead and book a call mate. I'm excited to meet you and we can make things much simpler and clearer for you going forward what those next steps actually look like. Lots of love, mate. Oliver
I have possibly a difficult question in regards to this video. This video is very well articulated and puts this issue into a relatable and understandable framework. Thank-you for that. However, does this assessment change when it comes to those deemed autistic? It seems to me that autism as a phenomenon must necessarily be masked in the modern working world to even get hired and survive economically (some exceptions may exist). On top of this, autism in men is not exactly an attractive trait for women. So I guess my question boils down to; what if the social world does indeed view you as fundamentally broken? To unmask would be counter productive to the listed goals of this video, and possibly even damaging to the economic stability of the individual. It's the difference between a mask as a coping mechanism that shields your truly attractive potential from the world, and a mask as a real survival mechanism.
That's a great question. And something I want to clarify a little further. When I say remove the mask, a more accurate way of framing it is: "know when you're wearing a mask and know how/when to take it off." I'm not advocating for everyone to be maskless. There are real consequences for taking off masks. There are also real reasons why we wear them. If nobody wore a mask, it would likely lead to chaos. The key is to know your mask and which one you're wearing. Don't mistake it for who you are. And have people you can take it off with. Does that make a bit more sense?
@@OliverCowlishaw Haha yes that qualifier helps. I also suppose I focused too much on a results based approach where the underlying focus was on "remove mask for x,y,z result" when it should be more about figuring out how to be "authentically you", whatever that means to the individual and wherever that is most appropriate. And I suppose while it may be more difficult for some than others in the end this is the same for everyone.
Here are the two ways to work with me:
🛠 12-Week Pleaser-to-Leader Program (Free 15 minute call)
Break free from people-pleasing and lead with confidence. More info at: www.olivercowlishaw.com/pleasertoleader/
🎯 1-on-1 Breakthrough Session
Book a powerful single session to get unstuck and find direction: calendly.com/ocowlishaw/clarity
Thanks, mate
I've been feeling lost and disconnected from my "self" to a great degree recently. Unable to share my own true thoughts, hiding behind a mask - at work.. with friends.. even with my girlfriend. I thought I solved it in the past but now it's coming crashing down and affected all aspects of my life. The key pattern: seeking external validation. I am controlled by it. My life is lead by it. I fucking hate it. Luckily, I've connected it back to my relationship with my father, a very rocky one. Thank you for being born Oliver and holding your head up and climbing out of the hole. You show to other men that it's possible just like Bane did in Batman.
Thank you so much for sharing, mate. It's absolutely possible and I commend you for connecting it back to your relationship with your father.
It's uncomfortable sometimes to acknowledge this. But most of our patterns can be traced back to childhood conditioning.
Occasionally we just need help in connecting the dots. This is why I do the work I do with clients.
Hi Oliver recently I encountered you on youtube and thank you for helping out with these kinds of topic and guiding people ❤
Here for you bro.
I've recently hit rock bottom. Angry, lost, self-destructive and struggling. Your videos have really helped.
Everytime you say mate it really feels like I have one. Thank you.
In due time I'll be that guy that makes it and you'll be one of the factors that made it so.
"In due time I'll be that guy that makes it"
YES YOU WILL!
Here for you, mate.
A breakdown is often a breakthrough.
Keep going.
Oliver, dude. I was actually tearing up throughout this entire video. You described me so accurately. I felt like you were speaking directly to my soul man. It’s especially pertinent since I went on a date this last Friday. What you said about deeply routed shame and feeling broken really struck a chord. There so much to unpack about myself and it’s hard to see or understand but I’m willing to take steps towards becoming myself, fully.
I’m shocked you don’t have more views and subscribers man. As I said, you spoke directly to my soul. Thank you. Going to book a chat through the link if it’s possible from South Africa.
Lots of love man
-Aaron
Aaron. Thanks for sharing all of this, mate. I'm glad it struck a chord with you and in some ways I'm not surprised. Because I used to be there. It sucked. I overcame it. I know what tends to work and what doesn't.
Go ahead and book a call mate.
I'm excited to meet you and we can make things much simpler and clearer for you going forward what those next steps actually look like.
Lots of love, mate.
Oliver
Oliver, thank you for your insightful video!
Glad it was helpful!
This is an inspirational and well structured video! Thank you🙏
Glad it was helpful, mate.
Great video! I really appreciate the guides you link in the description
Love giving you guys practical things to take away. Thanks for sharing.
Bro, great video. So much insight and wisdom 🙏
Glad you enjoyed it!
I have possibly a difficult question in regards to this video.
This video is very well articulated and puts this issue into a relatable and understandable framework. Thank-you for that. However, does this assessment change when it comes to those deemed autistic? It seems to me that autism as a phenomenon must necessarily be masked in the modern working world to even get hired and survive economically (some exceptions may exist). On top of this, autism in men is not exactly an attractive trait for women. So I guess my question boils down to; what if the social world does indeed view you as fundamentally broken? To unmask would be counter productive to the listed goals of this video, and possibly even damaging to the economic stability of the individual. It's the difference between a mask as a coping mechanism that shields your truly attractive potential from the world, and a mask as a real survival mechanism.
That's a great question.
And something I want to clarify a little further.
When I say remove the mask, a more accurate way of framing it is:
"know when you're wearing a mask and know how/when to take it off."
I'm not advocating for everyone to be maskless. There are real consequences for taking off masks. There are also real reasons why we wear them.
If nobody wore a mask, it would likely lead to chaos.
The key is to know your mask and which one you're wearing. Don't mistake it for who you are. And have people you can take it off with.
Does that make a bit more sense?
@@OliverCowlishaw Haha yes that qualifier helps. I also suppose I focused too much on a results based approach where the underlying focus was on "remove mask for x,y,z result" when it should be more about figuring out how to be "authentically you", whatever that means to the individual and wherever that is most appropriate. And I suppose while it may be more difficult for some than others in the end this is the same for everyone.