This is such an important perspective, and it’s one that Pentecostals almost always dodge addressing. I completely resonate with your experience-I wrestled with these exact thoughts throughout my childhood. You either try to convince yourself that you’re truly speaking in tongues (despite even doubting yourself), or you figure out how to fake it just to fit in. But that kind of existence is so draining and disheartening, constantly feeling like your salvation hinges on whether or not you speak in tongues and over and over. It’s why these groups are so incredibly harmful-they twist and distort the beauty of the true gospel. Thank you for having the courage to share this!
I went through the same thing-ironically receiving Christian character awards while secretly wondering if I was even saved because I constantly questioned whether I had ever truly spoken in tongues. It’s such a confusing and isolating experience. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story Alicia-it means so much.
I grew up in the Apostolic Assembly of the Faith of Jesus Christ. A Hispanic church who is like the UPCI, our differences were that we wore a Veil in church. I understand all this. I did receive the Holy Spirit. But, the spiritual fear for me was being Holy. Was I dressing right, did I carry myself as a Christian, and do I belong. I still struggle so much. Thank you for doing this.
Yes I was in a pentecostal Hispanic church for years. Nothing I ever did..not the longest skirt or hair was ever good enough and everything was of the devil. But I started studying the Word as it is..the book of Romans and hebrews..brought tears to my eyes thinking how far from God I was. I was just trying to please the church and the pastor. Which the bible says Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ”. Modesty is important but a dresscode will not save you. God Bless, I pray the Lord helps you ❤ I am now non denomination bcz Jesus did not preach a denomination, also it's just ONE kingdom of God and ONE body of Christ🙌
Oof, I had to come back one more time. Your point about criticizing the Catholic Church with "where’s that in the Bible..." but not applying the same scrutiny to my own Pentecostal beliefs really struck a chord with me! It’s so true-Pentecostals rarely examine their own practices with the same critical lens they use on others. Yet, let’s be real, their practices can be pretty unusual. They still see themselves as somehow more dignified though just because they’re not swinging around an incense thurible-the irony is hard to miss.
I just love Alicia and the friendship we have been developing inline. I'm so thankful that she found God's grace and that she shared her story here! It will bless and help so many! ❤
These videos are so heartbreaking and yet reassuring that we are not alone in this journey of healing while unlearning and relearning. The amount of pain that this theology and community has caused to people who truly loved and trusted their words is astounding. The process is so hard and yet so freeing, once able to reject and correct the ideologies that have been pounded into our heads. I’ve had to break down what people have told me and said about me with the facts of the word of God to fight the feeling of condemnation and insecurity. The abuse is discreet, overlaid with passion and sincerity which causes so much more pain to the receiver. God bless you and your ministry, I pray to be as bold as you all are one day to share my story of awareness and hope.
This is a very sad story. Children need to be assured of Gods love for them. Seeking tongues is not the objective, but seeking Jesus is. I do believe that tongues is valid though. The night the Lord filled me with His Spirit I felt enveloped by complete love and peace and realized I wasn’t speaking in English anymore but in tongues. It felt like a floodlight was turned on inside my soul and my broken, destroyed life was dramatically changed! I do agree that the focus on tongues is not “the way” but faith in Jesus and the way of the cross is. I
I want to add that even though in the UPC I was taught well, encouraged to study my Bible and had wonderful friends, I was also in great fear. Never feeling like I was enough, doing enough. Was I prayed through enough, repented enough. I never felt secure in my salvation. Now I’m going to a church where the gospel is preached and there is nothing I can do to be good enough. Jesus Christ alone has made me right with God and I’m now realizing I’m a daughter of God and am secure in His love.
What verses do they distort to justify this? I’m only close to halfway through the video so maybe this will be answered but this is what I’m wondering. I spent a little less than two years in a word of faith church with a similar issue. We were never told we didn’t have the spirit or weren’t saved if we didn’t speak in tongues. But that we all have the ability to do so. I prayed and prayed for this gift and it never came. So I asked someone and was told just move your mouth and make noise and whatever you hear in your head speak it. They said that is God telling you your prayer language. But that seemed very wrong to me. So one day I went to the alter for prayer. I told all this to the pastor and just wanted him to pray for me. But instead he begins to try to instruct me to do exactly what the other person had said. I tried to do it. I felt sick with myself. I knew this wasn’t real but I felt so pressured in that moment. Soon after that I was babtized by the same preacher. I had been baptized years prior but this was a re dedication, which I now know I didn’t need to do. And when I came out of the water he spent a few minutes it seemed trying to get me to speak in tongues and again I tried. I am so happy the music was loud. They made such a show of it. Because not many people heard me and those that did barely did. It was around that time God began to show me the truth and got me out of that movement. I still don’t speak tongues. Maybe someday I will but for now that gift is not for me. I am confident the Holy Spirit is in me and leads me in prayer even without that gift.
This is such an important perspective, and it’s one that Pentecostals almost always dodge addressing. I completely resonate with your experience-I wrestled with these exact thoughts throughout my childhood. You either try to convince yourself that you’re truly speaking in tongues (despite even doubting yourself), or you figure out how to fake it just to fit in. But that kind of existence is so draining and disheartening, constantly feeling like your salvation hinges on whether or not you speak in tongues and over and over. It’s why these groups are so incredibly harmful-they twist and distort the beauty of the true gospel. Thank you for having the courage to share this!
I went through the same thing-ironically receiving Christian character awards while secretly wondering if I was even saved because I constantly questioned whether I had ever truly spoken in tongues. It’s such a confusing and isolating experience. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story Alicia-it means so much.
I grew up in the Apostolic Assembly of the Faith of Jesus Christ. A Hispanic church who is like the UPCI, our differences were that we wore a Veil in church. I understand all this. I did receive the Holy Spirit. But, the spiritual fear for me was being Holy. Was I dressing right, did I carry myself as a Christian, and do I belong. I still struggle so much. Thank you for doing this.
Yes I was in a pentecostal Hispanic church for years. Nothing I ever did..not the longest skirt or hair was ever good enough and everything was of the devil. But I started studying the Word as it is..the book of Romans and hebrews..brought tears to my eyes thinking how far from God I was. I was just trying to please the church and the pastor. Which the bible says Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ”.
Modesty is important but a dresscode will not save you.
God Bless, I pray the Lord helps you ❤ I am now non denomination bcz Jesus did not preach a denomination, also it's just ONE kingdom of God and ONE body of Christ🙌
This testimony is so beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes. I too am coming out of the UPCI.
Coming from the Mennonites I can relate to some of this. I feel like you did a great job at summarizing leaving hyper fundamentalism.
Oof, I had to come back one more time. Your point about criticizing the Catholic Church with "where’s that in the Bible..." but not applying the same scrutiny to my own Pentecostal beliefs really struck a chord with me! It’s so true-Pentecostals rarely examine their own practices with the same critical lens they use on others. Yet, let’s be real, their practices can be pretty unusual. They still see themselves as somehow more dignified though just because they’re not swinging around an incense thurible-the irony is hard to miss.
I just love Alicia and the friendship we have been developing inline. I'm so thankful that she found God's grace and that she shared her story here! It will bless and help so many! ❤
These videos are so heartbreaking and yet reassuring that we are not alone in this journey of healing while unlearning and relearning. The amount of pain that this theology and community has caused to people who truly loved and trusted their words is astounding. The process is so hard and yet so freeing, once able to reject and correct the ideologies that have been pounded into our heads. I’ve had to break down what people have told me and said about me with the facts of the word of God to fight the feeling of condemnation and insecurity. The abuse is discreet, overlaid with passion and sincerity which causes so much more pain to the receiver. God bless you and your ministry, I pray to be as bold as you all are one day to share my story of awareness and hope.
Living in bondage is awful: For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.(2 Timothy 1 v 7)
This is a very sad story. Children need to be assured of Gods love for them. Seeking tongues is not the objective, but seeking Jesus is. I do believe that tongues is valid though.
The night the Lord filled me with His Spirit I felt enveloped by complete love and peace and realized I wasn’t speaking in English anymore but in tongues. It felt like a floodlight was turned on inside my soul and my broken, destroyed life was dramatically changed! I do agree that the focus on tongues is not “the way” but faith in Jesus and the way of the cross is. I
I want to add that even though in the UPC I was taught well, encouraged to study my Bible and had wonderful friends, I was also in great fear. Never feeling like I was enough, doing enough. Was I prayed through enough, repented enough. I never felt secure in my salvation. Now I’m going to a church where the gospel is preached and there is nothing I can do to be good enough. Jesus Christ alone has made me right with God and I’m now realizing I’m a daughter of God and am secure in His love.
What verses do they distort to justify this? I’m only close to halfway through the video so maybe this will be answered but this is what I’m wondering.
I spent a little less than two years in a word of faith church with a similar issue. We were never told we didn’t have the spirit or weren’t saved if we didn’t speak in tongues. But that we all have the ability to do so. I prayed and prayed for this gift and it never came. So I asked someone and was told just move your mouth and make noise and whatever you hear in your head speak it. They said that is God telling you your prayer language. But that seemed very wrong to me. So one day I went to the alter for prayer. I told all this to the pastor and just wanted him to pray for me. But instead he begins to try to instruct me to do exactly what the other person had said. I tried to do it. I felt sick with myself. I knew this wasn’t real but I felt so pressured in that moment. Soon after that I was babtized by the same preacher. I had been baptized years prior but this was a re dedication, which I now know I didn’t need to do. And when I came out of the water he spent a few minutes it seemed trying to get me to speak in tongues and again I tried. I am so happy the music was loud. They made such a show of it. Because not many people heard me and those that did barely did. It was around that time God began to show me the truth and got me out of that movement. I still don’t speak tongues. Maybe someday I will but for now that gift is not for me. I am confident the Holy Spirit is in me and leads me in prayer even without that gift.