Want To Keep Their Attention? DO NOT CHASE; Do THIS Instead | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2023
- Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and How To Keep Their Attention? DO NOT CHASE; Do THIS Instead
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Mat Boggs Bio:
Mat has helped millions of people around the world attract love and develop fulfilling relationships. He’s also the founder of a revolutionary system of attracting love called Manifest Your Man.
In addition to running a highly successful coaching business, Mat is also the co-author of the best-selling Project Everlasting, which received a major, six-figure advance from Simon and Schuster publications.
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This video came at the right time. I've been dating this guy since may 2023. I like him and i know he likes me too. But i saw the sudden changes in his behaviour, i know he's focused on his career right now. But im not chasing anymore and letting it happen naturally. Because i believe if not him then there's someone better.
Good choice! Otherwise you will end up miserable with someone who doesn't even care about you and might get mad when you get in between of their goals. It's better to find another person who is in the same page as you.
👏👏👏always remember ., never leave your Goddess within you, no chase, you attract!❤
I have found that I give him space and he always comes back to me. He thrives on space. This is very hard to do because we are in a long distance relationship so I want to be talking to him alot but...giving him space has been amazing for us
Hey, Mat. I always spoke with warmth and kindness, but when he pulled away a little, i told him i noticed and that i enjoy his company. And then i left the situation alone. That way, the last thing i said was positive and he doesn’t feel that i’m pinning all my happiness on him. By just leaving things alone, he starts to ask himself what he wants, not feel pressured by what i want. The guy that wanted me, he started texting, calling, and doing a lot more- all on his own. When he started doing more, i would just light up. If he seemed unsure or taking a step back, i was a little harder on him. Not reaching out as much. Not being as flexible to see him. But with kindness. It’s like the saying. It’s not what you say but how you say it. “You haven’t called. I don’t have time for guys who don’t know what they want.” Thats all words. And accusatory. Just say “Wow, i haven’t heard from you in a while. It’s nice to hear from you.” And then nothing. And watch if he tries the get that more happy reaction back. Asks you on a date, talks and reaches out a lot more. Show interest, but not clinginess like you’ve been dying to hear from him. He’ll treat you like crap, if nothing he does makes you drift away a bit.
I have found when I talk about activities I'm excited to go to often the person that is interested will ask if they can go with you. For example, a fall festival where there will be live music, a variety of food, beer truck and other things going on.
"If you pull this up, you're going to kill it." Great quote. Going on my bathroom mirror!
That's how it should be, he's not being chased. Now I know, let him go, let him take care of his life. Thank you Mat
I used the strategy of matching his energy and pulling back little by little. If I wanted to do something and he didn’t, I went to the function alone. I did things alone and posted pics on my fb or IG pages to show I was alone but having a great time hanging out with me. I have always been ok being with me. If I wanted to go to the movies and he didn’t I would never miss out because he didn’t want to. I taught him how to treat me. Once he saw that I was still enjoying life he got a little curious and nosey and wanted to hang out with me and started planning dates. It took me not caring if I went out to eat alone or shopping alone or going to a movies event alone or even hopping on a plane and traveling alone for him to realize that I am who I am… with or without him. He got the message and decided on his own to make that shift and hang out with me more. I never asked him to change. He changed because he cared what mattered to me. 🥰
This is so awesome & I'm currently practicing it. Thankyou for such practical examples!!
I remember a little experiment done. Little children were sat down and told “you can have two marshmallows.Or, if you can wait a few minutes till i come back, you can have four.” Some kids wolfed down two. Others waited. The ones that waited were found to be more successful in life later. Dating- we can’t see the better outcome by sticking to standards. We weren’t promised that sticking to standards will result in more reward. So sometimes we give up quickly and want to have him instantly by chasing. When, if we remain happy in what we have in life , so that it’s his investment that moves things forward, it’s the bigger reward. Just believe it’s there waiting for you. The right man will deliver. Be kind. Be genuine. Be open. Stick to standards. The right man who adores you will deliver.
This is amazing it worked like a charm! Thanks Matt
The seeds example is a really good metaphor - thank you❣ For keeping his attention: I just go on with my life, means for texting, phone calls etc. I don't drop my schedule. And I do a little flirty teasing; it's an easy way to see if he's humurous too.
After beeing single for three years with no dating at all, I've met a nice guy on a party 9 days ago and gave him my number, just for sending me a link for something and we started texting a bit. It felt long, when he didn't text for two days, but he did. I suggested a phonecall (two days ahead, when I have time). Then he suggested to meet, it's tomorrow. So what feels slowly in between turns into really fast.😉
Fight all the happiness hormones and stay calm😌
Matt, you’re my favorite relationship guy!! Thank you❤️
Thank you for this advice ❤
I learned that if i need to get someone's attention, that person isn't worth my time and should be abandoned immediately!
CUTE analogy ❤
You are great love your content
Enjoy Bali Matt
This is such good but techniques buttt I’m scared 😩😩😩😩😩
Hi Matt thanks for sharing this,
I have married with my husband since 2021 but I don’t know why when he did something wrong he don’t want you to tell him just keep quite which is disturbing me a lot and I feel like he is not treating me well,
Thanks for the video, Mat!
So, in your example, if I say: "I'm gonna be home by 6 and I'd love to get a call from you" and the call actually doesn't arrive because he's busy at that time and maybe by the time he tries to call me I'm the one who's busy? 😅 How to avoid "getting anxious" about this situation? Because I sometimes give him those little challenges but kinda know he's not probably gonna be able to accomplish them and that I will only obtain more frustration from it. So sometimes I prefer not to even use this kind of "trick". And what if, in your other example, I challenge him to plan something different, but he responds something like: "you know I suck at planning" or things like that. Again, it makes me don't even wanna try sometimes 😅 what to do?
Can i answer? It wasn’t till a man loved me that I understood the answers. A man in love, loves to give you what you want. Truly. So if it’s a man who you’ve been seeing a while, you have to ask yourself if you’re ok being with a man that likes your company but doesn’t love you. If it’s a new relationship, men understand directness and actions. If you directly asked him for something, and he fails to give it, like the example of the call, he needs to have made that call. Like say he made it at 8pm. “ hey, i got a little busy and lost track of time.” If he does not do that, he’s giving you information about his true level of respect for you and the importance he assigns to you. So, then what do you do with this information? You observe it and respond to him with the same level of importance he gave you. You were’t someone he showed respect. Ok. Then he calls you days later and doesn’t mention he was supposed to call. Say with a smile in your voice. “Maybe i should’ve said the day, too. What happened to 6 oclock?” Directly call him out. And if he makes sorry excuses, don’t be as accessible. Men understand action. It took me a long time to realize that it’s not my job to “get” him. It’s my job to turn down men that don’t really care about ‘getting” me- no matter how much i want them to.
@@Mayfloweralways thank you so much for your response, I truly appreciate it 😊 and I totally agree with you! My biggest difficulty is that I'm currently in a LDR and it's sometimes harder to feel the connection. I did something very important a few days ago. I decided and communicated to him that I would have stopped making myself available almost at all times and stopped calling him whenever I was out or called him to give him a goodnight even if I was out and he was in bed already, because this is something he never does for me. He only calls me if he's at home, in his room and never if he's out in another environment or at a party and if I'm going to bed before him and he's still out, he doesn't bother calling me to say goodnight or just disappears for some time. And I think he should enjoy his time and I will do the same thing and not give him what he's not reciprocating. He felt kinda sad and confused when I said that to him but that made him somehow try a bit harder. But I couldn't truly see the effects of it because unfortunately I don't go out at night as often as he does. And that is starting to bother me a little
@@bea3531 i will say this. My boyfriend and i are not long distance. We see each other and text and talk all the time. When i started to wonder if he had feelings for me before we dated-i got home but my phone had died. I decided to leave it on the charger while i vacuumed. I came back to 3 messages. “Where are you? Are you alright?” And the like. To leave those messages, he would have to step away from his desk at work. When i called and explained, he said “oh my God. You always tell me when you get home. I was about to leave to see if you had an accident on the way home.” He was genuinely scared. I just didn’t think about it. What’s 30 minutes? But he knew that i always call. I apologized. But he knew what time it was and he was thinking of my safety. He didn’t care about stepping away from work to reach out or to answer when i said i was ok. A man who loves you, you won’t ask yourself why he can’t make the time to show he cares. Don’t give time to men where you can honestly say “he won’t do as much for me as i do for him.”
@@bea3531don't tell him, just do, don't announce what you gonna do (stop calling/texting etc) just do it, make yourself scarce
I don’t know how people do the long distance relationship thing. Have you considered that maybe he’s not exclusive with you? I may be wrong, I hope I am for your sake. I’m seeing this a few months later though. Regardless, I wish only happiness for you.
I just haven't got a clue. Too old for wee games so might just give up and walk away.
I have tried to do this as he is not investing or prioritizing 'us' at all.
Nothing has worked!
I've tried asking....'would you be willing to do .....' And tried I would love it if.........'
And now it's time. Time for the conversation to see if our goals are still aligned.
I will start with 'Id like to talk with you about something. Do you have time right now? If answer yes, then my next line is 'Can I be vulnerable with you?' And then I will share how and what I like/love about us, but what I also need and want in an us relationship, and I'll ask him if he's in or if he's out.
Sounds like my situation a lot. I've had these conversations and everytime I had one I get more disheartened. After 17months I've been told all he wants is a companion and has no expectations for a relationship.
I am wasting my time at this point but I can't seem to let go. I keep hoping and praying things will change but I am hopi g and praying my own life away.
@juliemcglinchey1474 sorry to hear this. No one can tell you what you should do. Only you can decide. If you are not getting what you need, or desire, and this guy isn't trying, and you've talked, you decide. Think you already have. You just haven't acted on it yet.
Ps. My conversation hasn't happened yet either. Yet.
Matt, I have a colleague who makes me really confuse about his feeling towards me. But I love him because he always shows kindness to me. He is in the midst of his home renovation and he said painting is hectic to him. I invite myself to help him with the painting job. This is what I like to do and can create time for us to chat face to face in a more relaxed way. I don't like guessing game between us, so I would like to seek a chance to find it out.
Do you think it works?
There's a saying... if its ho and cold... take it as a no. The guy who wants u won't let u guess. Just be friendly.
What happens if a guy is texting you a lot, but then slows a lot because work has gotten busy.
I can't control myself, i always chased
Try hard to picture the bad outcome. And then ask yourself what you would need to do to get a happy outcome. Do it every time you want to chase. Picture that he brags how much you want him and is full ego about being able to pick you up and drop you any time he wants. Picture how much you’re feeding his ego and not his heart.
Me too, I’m doing better now I haven’t txted him back for a day… I’m just sitting back. Getting a manicure, cleaning my house, cleaning my car! And about to be a kitty mom❤️
@@AndressaUS82 Perfect! Just keep living your awesome life and filling yourself up that way...Before you know it, he will appear.!
@@AndressaUS82 Did you hear from him since this comment ?
Seeds and relationships alike, sometimes the seeds don't sprout, and sometimes those sprouts fizzle and die. Just saying.
Making an empowered feminine request doesnt work.
If i make auggestions like that, i get a carrot dangled in my face and then its never mentioned again.
He doesnt want the responsibility of having to do anything in a relationship but likes the perks of being in 1.
If i pulled away and created space, id never hear from him again purely because it would mean he wouldnt need to put effort in.
All i ask for is a little more time with him. A little more attention.
Ive talked to him about this multiple times already and he had come back with "we have had this conversion multiple times and nothing has changed". I thought the change needed to be made on his side only....but in fact, it needs to be made on mine. I need to stop chasing. Maybe it will work. I dunno... i think he will just drift away entirely.