@@shinymainespoon and then while rehiring you have them give you a new contract. "Sorry, under my old contract you are a future employer and I cannot discuss any of my work with you."
@@dbeekman9738 its possible he could do the job if rehired but wouldnt be able to instuct or tell others how. so potental for massive ammount of money to be gotten out of them
With the the cursing aspect once you've labeled your channel as not child friendly which we all know reddit is not if you don't curse with in the first 30seconds to a minute of your video it gets green for full monetization
They had to have been waiting for well over a month for that guy to finish off every insult he knew. Creative insults are the art and pride of military trainers.
I honestly would have just called the MPs after five minutes of such and told them we have a security breach. The fact he wasnt carrying his ID on base would also have been problematic for him LOL
Here's one my mate told me from his time in the UK Army, "I have more cents in my piggybank then you do in your head." Stupidly someone asked him "....but sir we don't use cents we use pence." "Exactly."
First day of basic a trainee complained of the famous "hurry and wait". DS asked him if he had pink lemonade running through his veins. When the trainee was at a loss of words because he didn't know how to reply, the DS said "see private, that's how you shut the fuck up"
I also went to AF basic training. While hearing that story, I was laughing my ass off. OP wasn't lying. Their story was accurate. God have mercy on your soul if you deviated from the door protocol. They did the right thing.
I also went to AF basic training. We had a trainee try to stop one of the MTIs who used a key for entry. The trainee was then known as "Sentry And Avenger"
I hated being dorm guard. There was a schedule for who would be next, and I had it the night before. Some trainee wakes me up and tells me it's my turn when I knew damn well that he just wanted to get out of it.
I'm also Air Force and I was having quite the laugh at this story as well 🤣 it's great to hear stories from people that went to BMT. They're always so interesting or hilarious
the headcount thing reminds me of one of my dad's stories. They were on their way to a deployment with a mix of Air Force, Navy, and Army. The way it works in mixed groups like that is the senior-most Air Force officer is in charge while in the air, senior-most Navy officer if you're on the water, and senior-most Army when you're on the ground. They got diverted for weather, stopped overnight at a different airbase, booked a hotel, and were supposed to reconvene in the morning to get back on the plane. My dad was the senior-most Army officer, so he was in charge of everyone until they got back to the airbase. Morning comes, he does a headcount. Missing one. Could be a miscount, so they do another headcount. Missing one again. He starts freaking out, thinking someone had snuck out for drinks or something (they were supposed to stay in the hotel) and didn't make it back. After personally checking every bus, one of the NCOs finally looks at him and goes "Sir, did you count yourself?"
Look again It was his MTL not the screaming sergeant who later congratulated him. Doubt he ever got a congratulations, a well done or a beer from the screaming CQ.
@THE HOUSTONADER Your theory is accurate; had it come out that the trainee had let the CQ sergeant inside in violation of the access protocol, it still would have come down on him, and the instructor would have gotten some shit (not in the biggest of ways, but more notable than if, say, the flight's instructor had tricked them into opening the door).
@THE HOUSTONADER The words were "My MTL ( not the one from night watch) later quietly congratulated me...." Now assuming the "one from night watch " refers to the screaming one.....
@@bigmanjelly True, I just hope in the future he can stop the censoring alltogether... and also stop masking it by saying "passionately hugging" instead of "sex".
@@ultrayy They don't automatically demonetize for swearing. Part of the monetization process is asking about expletives, and as long as it's not within the first minute of the video, it's deemed as safe as if there were none at all.
This reminded me of when my brother was in Marine Boot. He had to do so many pushups because he kept laughing at the drill Sargents shouting because our mom told us that someone who shouts has lost complete control of the situation, and has become an adult toddler.
So I start my day by listening to Rslash to get me going every morning and my dog has picked up on this. I can watch TikToks, other youtubers, etc and he will not move from his spot. However, as soon as he hears rslash’s voice, he is up and ready to go outside
@@zwabbah4841 Not likely. If his income relied solely on RUclips, he'd be making more by keeping it PG, and he's got a wife and new baby to provide for.
Lmao I was dying laugh on the last story Op stuck to his gun and didn't open the door no matter what and CQ kept threat him with and I love how rSlash did a out voice like he far away
You learn how to laugh inwardly. Bearing checks are frequent. And then after you graduate, you very rarely have to hold in laughter. I laugh at stuff on a daily basis and military humor is twisted.
@@nicolethompson2399 No wonder my dad made it! We both have a messed up sense of humor and laugh in less than appropriate situations. Don’t forget to take stress checks from time to time, there are a lot of crazies in my countries military.
Hahaha same here, I would probably not be able to suppress a crap eating grin while they scream at me, especially knowing that they won't actually punch me in the face hahaha I would die doing push-ups I think 😂
I like the use of acoustics in the last story: the angry shouting through an intercom was great, but the quiet 'Um, sir?' from the bottom bunk really made it for me. xD
Always love military stories because despite how pissed everyone gets at each other in them, usually they all still have respect for each other. Favorite part was the sergeant congratulating OP for sticking to the training
That last story was gold also I think the sgt took the out that op unwittingly gave him of the "I was told I would be tested" and said that it was just a test😋
It's all a facade. I know a few MTIs and they are the sweetest goofballs I know. I'm also a sergeant and, although I have a good command voice, I'm nice. Just don't make me yell at you.
I absolutely love the sound effects in the last story. Where you could hear the shouts echoing off of the walls. Where the nervous guy in the back of the room sounded like he was in the back of the room. AWESOME!
Even IF "ten minutes to reply to email is too slow" was the REAL reason to fire OP, they STILL should have given him a WARNING and a chance to alter his behavior and speed up his response time. "Why didn't I get a warning?" should not be answered with "Here is the perfectly correctable reason we are firing you, effective immediately." What idiots. Also, no answering questions? Even a person with "self skills" needs an answer, now and then, because of differences in context and situation, and sometimes, you need to ask, "Would you prefer I do this to X degree or Y degree?" Specifications ARE IMPORTANT. The number of times I have heard people grousing about inadequate specifications is mind-boggling. And then, they would get in trouble for "not meeting the specifications." You mean the specifications you never provided?
RUclips is the guy who heard a joke once and keeps repeating it, despite everyone else no longer finding it funny. Once in a while they'll hear another joke, but then they'll repeat THAT over and over
I am really happy about the last story, idk i am just glad that the sergeant actually congratulated him on sticking to the protocol even if it was a quiet one.
Man, I dream of being in the position OP was in during the story of the Dr. Making her be referred to as a Doctor. See, my last name is "Wright." pronounced Right. So, if someone ever forces me to call the, "Mr." or "Mrs." or "Dr." or whatever, I can then turn to them with a strait face and demand they refer to me solely as "Mr. Right."
Sorry but disagree HARD. In the story SOMEONE ELSE told her to call them by their first name. The doctor in question WORKED THEIR ASS OFF to get that title. A decade or more of work. And then HE stated in a PRIVATE email that he "needed" (probably not the wording he used) her to call him by Dr. She responded with a MASS email to everyone that she be referred to with a title you get for just being an adult. Imagine creating a big petty stink over someone asking to be addressed by a title they earned through dedication and being proud that you forced someone to not go by that title cause you are being such a bitch. That story pissed me off.
I had a similar situation to the Karen with the construction noise. I was working swing shift at crApple's slave labor camp in California (if you have an opportunity to work for crApple, don't) in late 2011, and so I'd get home at about 3 am and sleep until noon or so. My neighbor had some major construction going on and it was loud. So one morning I went over to the local donut shop and got two dozen donuts and a couple big dispenser containers of their gourmet coffee (not that garbage brown bean water Starbucks overcharges for). I went to my neighbors house and talked to the foreman, something I was used to because just a couple years prior I worked for a commercial construction company that closed because of the recession, I told him what was going on and that I usually slept until noon because of my work hours. Then, I went to my truck and got the donuts and coffee and gave it to him to give to his crew and said, "I know you guys have a job to do, if there is any way you can keep the noise down until after noon, that would be awesome." The foreman called for his crew to take a break and enjoy the coffee and donuts, and told me that he'd see what he could do. Mondays were my day off, so for the next 8 weeks, every Monday I would bring two boxes of fresh donuts and hot gourmet coffee. $30 per week was a cheap price to pay to sleep soundly, the work got done, everybody got paid, and everybody was happy. There's no need to be a Karen when sugar and caffeine are FAR more effective.
To the first story: This is a problem with my boss, too. He just doesn‘t understand that email is not a real time communication. Mind you, we can use the telephone or the webex chat function to reach another immediately, but he frequently wants to know why I didn‘t answer to this or that email - sent 30 minutes ago, without an urgency flag. I sometimes get about 30 emails an hour and have my regular duties to work on. I try to respond to any email within 24 hours and if I don‘t manage to, I respond within two business days. By the way, we don‘t have an official company policy regarding email responding time, just an unofficial politeness guideline - and this thing sais: respond on the same or the next business day, send a notification if the task is not completed within that timeframe and give an eta if possible. So, I comply with the coldest thing we have to a policy, and I prioritise emails flagged as urgent (same day response, mostly). I really don‘t get it why some people don‘t realise that not every email is (or can be) read the instant it arrives.
The last few sentences of that last story were actually a bit more wholesome than I expected. Neither OP nor the sergeant got in trouble, and their behaviors actually both wound up working out for them in the long run.
I love hearing stories about people in basic training. As much as I hated it, it's still nostalgic and relatable 😅 This story especially hit home, it was so accurate. I had many nights like this when the drill sergeants fucked with us on fire guard. Only difference is, I did army.
As someone who's been through Air Force basic, I can attest to everything OP stated being exactly how things go...Down to the over the top "threats" from the MTL lol. I absolutely loved that last story. Though RSlash misread at the end as it was HIS MTL, not the one that had yelled at him, that had congratulated him based on the screenshot of the story.
I was in the air force and I could see everything that was happening. I laughed so hard. We had a T.L. who made an ID card with Donald Duck on it and we have to read of “one green military ID card Donald Duck” and then check the board for it.
Ah Dorm Guard Duty, such a great memory. I have 2 brief stories of my experience with/as dorm guard. Not even close to as grand is this story is though.
as a separated member of the 'real air force' ( lol ). the headcount post was such a flashback in my mind, and i was rolling on the floor at the mention of the reflective belt. it legit brought me back to my time during BMT. good times that i never want to do again.
The stories lately have been so great. Love the extra effort to make them more imersive like an old radio show. The intercom effect and the distant reply were suoer nice touches to todays story
Listening to the dorm guard story for the third time. It is hilarious. I have two comments: The CQ would have pounded on the door, not knocked. The trainee would have probably been shouting his responses. I also thought this whole scenario would be a perfect set-up to test the trainee.
Is there a r/MilitaryCompliance yet? It's a weird situation where following orders to the letter is always the best policy. I can imagine the Sarge getting him alone later and cussing him out while commending him. "How DARE you do exactly what I told you to do!"
This is what the people want! Honestly wish I didn't have a mental illness disqualifying me from it because that's how I operate. To the letter. And then I get whiplash from employers who bend the rules just to make a customer go away.
We had sort of a similar thing at our USA branch but without the BS: the person in question had accepted a position with our competitor, so she was escorted out, but she had been organizing a conference with speakers and customers. Other people did what they could to take over and do damage control, but it was still a big mess since she we couldn't access her work e-mail (privacy policy).
sharpy345 - I hope you enjoy this one. My late grandfather was called up to the British Army in 1940 aged 32. He was by far the oldest recruit and was surrounded by lads in their teens and early twenties. He told the story of his first night on guard duty with a very nervous boy. "Watch me, lad, and get used to how this goes" he said as the first person approached: (GF) "Halt, who goes there?" (NCO) "Sergeant Smith." (GF) "Advance and be recognised." (and so on). After several hours, and a couple more challenges, he told the lad to try the next one. Tired, cold, and nervous, the lad messed up his lines: (Lad) "Halt. Who are you?" (Capt) "Captain Jones". (Lad) "Stand and deliver!"
Went through Air Force basic and this story is totally legit. Basic grads sometimes have to wait for a tech school slot and are often housed with current trainees. Rosters don’t always get updated. Hilarity ensues.
The last story reminded me of a thing I saw online of some club owner telling a bouncer if anyone not on the list makes it inside he’s fired. Well later he tries to get in and the bouncer says sorry you’re not on the list. The owner insists he owns the place and hired the bouncer and he still wouldn’t let him in. Flash forward to the owner in a jail cell with a black eye grinning and he says man I should give that guy a raise.
"I am bird without head" for running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Another great quote to use. That - and from Stargate SG-1 - "Undomesticated equines couldn't keep me away" instead of wild horses.
I was not expecting my story to be read here. I just got told my my friend that my story was featured so I had to listen ASAP. Have been a fan for a while and this was a great surprise. Thanks Rslash.
Military Malicious Compliance usually are the best, I remember few I was part in the FDF service time, managed to fully unintenionally make couple sarges loosing they shit at public and choking on laughter.
Oh, that last story takes me back. When I was in Air Force basic training, I was struggling with some stuff, so I was 'recycled'- that is, sent to a unit a week behind the one I had been in. Since my new unit mates were taking classes I had already gone through, I was given dorm guard duty for a week. A couple days in, there came a knock on the door. It was a female sergeant with a couple of guys; I had never seen her before. At the time, if you recognized somebody as one of your training instructors, you could let them in, no questions asked. But again, I had never seen this woman, so I asked for ID. She starts screaming that she was a TI for that unit and threatening but I just kept asking for ID, per protocol. Finally she presses her ID against the window, and I immediately open the door. She gets inside and screams at me about an inch from my face, calling me stupid and whatnot. I couldn't get a word in. Finally- I think because it finally dawned on her- she screams, "Are you recycled?!?" I managed to get in a quick "Yes, Sergeant!" That stopped her in her tracks. She turned bright red and stalked away. One of the guys with her smiled and gave me a wink. To this day, I don't know if she was testing me or messed up. Her reaction indicated the latter. I didn't get in trouble for it though; I did precisely what I was supposed to do.
"You are fore so finish your shift and then don't come in tomorrow" I had 4 hours left of my shift. Boss: where is Bryan? Co worker: he left. Boss: he didn't ha e permission to leave Co worker: but your fired him. Similarly Boss: at the end of the day you will no longer be ployed here. So i did my work slowly and relaxed. Boss: what the hell. You need to pick it up and move faster. Me: why, are you gonna Fire me? Bosses if you are gonna terminate an employee. Don't tell them beforehand.
The Sargent story at the end.... Oh so funny and the best part When something like that happens that's the way your supposed to do it. Why it's frustrating but everyone looks good is cause there was a head count that didn't line up but everyone kept to protocol so everyone was okay. Too bad it didn't fix the headcount issue cause military retardation but makes everyone look good when the exact scenario plays out the same way.
The dorm guard story and thee exact same thing happened to me. And I had 32 yes thirty two 340's ripped on me. The 340 was pulled out of your pocket for a mistake or other problem that may have happened. You carried 2 folded in your left shirt pocket. When I didn't let the TI in the dorm because he tested me with a fake ID he got passed and pulled a 340, your supposed to have 2 of them. Then started the "how many 340's do you have" "one sir" yoink, rinse and repeat until I walked away and got my TI. Thank you Ssgt Watson, he was a master instructor and laid this new clown low.
"I want your boss' number" -- I'm on Karen's side, here. Those of us who are up nights are given ZERO respect while we're expected to cater to day-timers' WANTS by living absolutely silently.
Agreed I work nights and my next door neighbour get her screaming grandkids visit every other day waking me up, and once I'm awake I have one hell of a problem getting back to sleep hence I would have a really cranky shift that night
That headcount was JUST like palpetine momnet in revenge of the sith where Mace says "Your under arrest, The senite will decide your fate" and plapetine responding eith "I am the senite." Edit: 13:50 if you want the timestamp
The Karen on night shift: I worked from 10pm to 7am for most of my career. I’m a VERY light sleeper (PTSD). The air pressure change from opening a door in the house would wake me up. My neighbor ran a babysitting business out of her house. She was a peach! I never complained to anyone about the noise. I made up a little song about spring and the birds chirping and children playing and how much I hated it. I never sang it to anyone but myself as I tried to go to sleep. It was cathartic. My choice to work in a field that required night shifts and my PTSD are not other people’s problems.
16:30 - Verbalized "The Sgt who yelled at me through the door....." Written - "My MTL...." MTL = Military Training Leader. This is the Father, Mother, Uncle, Aunt, Brother, Sister, Best Friend (Sarcasm), Grandparent, (name any Authoritarian in your life), of every Air Force Basic Trainee. This person is 9th only to the Squadron Superintendent, Squadron Commander, Base Chief, Base Commander, The AFSEC, The SECDEF, President, and God. These are two different people. The Sgt remains behind the scenes and rarely shows himself in person. The MTL has to support that Sgt so praising OP in public would have been a huge no no. This story gives me memories. I was recycled and put on Dorm Guard before I was given the protocol of my new flight. MTI (Instructors we called them in 2001) pounded on the door yelling it was an emergency. My New Flight told me to let her in but I hesitated because it was against the rule. I eventually let her in and MTI yelled at me for not doing so. She forgot her ID card and didn't want to go get it. The head games aren't a joke. I found out I went from House of Pain to Candy Land. Most people were recycled out of HoP. Nobody was recycled out of CL. It explains lack of discipline in this MTI.
For the first story I would of gone with the you can rehire me for much much higher pay angle. To really stick it to them to ensure the event went off well.
In the last story, I thought that was the test. I mean, they knowingly planted one extra person and set it up for the final test to see if OP would open the door, and he passed.
"Am I currently employed by you?"
"No."
"Then you are a former employer and I am not allowed to discuss my previous job with anyone."
Bonus points if OP said "you can rehire me for a massive pay increase, this week up front"
@@shinymainespoon and then while rehiring you have them give you a new contract. "Sorry, under my old contract you are a future employer and I cannot discuss any of my work with you."
@@dbeekman9738 brilliant!
@@dbeekman9738 its possible he could do the job if rehired but wouldnt be able to instuct or tell others how. so potental for massive ammount of money to be gotten out of them
That was truly brilliant!
For all the bleeps and curse substitutions on these stories, dropping that f bomb had me laughing so hard my wife and kids were all startled
I had the same reaction this time and last video (he said fuck two videos in a row!!!)
@@eksboks148 I noticed that but I figured it was a fluke so I didn't say anything lol
I'm guessing rslash forgot his censorship, and yet somehow still has ad revenue
@@Josh_the_jester My bet is that he is just tired of censoring himself. And this is great, because we may be able to enjoy some classic RSlash.
With the the cursing aspect once you've labeled your channel as not child friendly which we all know reddit is not if you don't curse with in the first 30seconds to a minute of your video it gets green for full monetization
They had to have been waiting for well over a month for that guy to finish off every insult he knew. Creative insults are the art and pride of military trainers.
I honestly would have just called the MPs after five minutes of such and told them we have a security breach. The fact he wasnt carrying his ID on base would also have been problematic for him LOL
Here's one my mate told me from his time in the UK Army,
"I have more cents in my piggybank then you do in your head."
Stupidly someone asked him "....but sir we don't use cents we use pence."
"Exactly."
First day of basic a trainee complained of the famous "hurry and wait". DS asked him if he had pink lemonade running through his veins. When the trainee was at a loss of words because he didn't know how to reply, the DS said "see private, that's how you shut the fuck up"
@@Ryanthusar that would be hysterical, and you know the MPs are going to relish that
I also went to AF basic training. While hearing that story, I was laughing my ass off. OP wasn't lying. Their story was accurate. God have mercy on your soul if you deviated from the door protocol. They did the right thing.
I also went to AF basic training. We had a trainee try to stop one of the MTIs who used a key for entry. The trainee was then known as "Sentry And Avenger"
I hated being dorm guard. There was a schedule for who would be next, and I had it the night before. Some trainee wakes me up and tells me it's my turn when I knew damn well that he just wanted to get out of it.
I'm also Air Force and I was having quite the laugh at this story as well 🤣 it's great to hear stories from people that went to BMT. They're always so interesting or hilarious
Well, we can laugh about it now, but chances are it wasn’t funny then.
@@BersealiaDreamheart speak for yourself 😌
the headcount thing reminds me of one of my dad's stories. They were on their way to a deployment with a mix of Air Force, Navy, and Army. The way it works in mixed groups like that is the senior-most Air Force officer is in charge while in the air, senior-most Navy officer if you're on the water, and senior-most Army when you're on the ground. They got diverted for weather, stopped overnight at a different airbase, booked a hotel, and were supposed to reconvene in the morning to get back on the plane. My dad was the senior-most Army officer, so he was in charge of everyone until they got back to the airbase. Morning comes, he does a headcount. Missing one. Could be a miscount, so they do another headcount. Missing one again. He starts freaking out, thinking someone had snuck out for drinks or something (they were supposed to stay in the hotel) and didn't make it back. After personally checking every bus, one of the NCOs finally looks at him and goes "Sir, did you count yourself?"
Nice.
Any repercussions for being late?
@@odd_bobble9106 noone was late or anything he didn't count himself in any of the counts the one he was missing was himself
this is comedy gold this seems like a great skit
3:50 OG rSlash is coming back slowly but surely 😎
*Headcount:* Oh, yeah; he’s back. So is the long-distance yelling!
I'm still waiting for a "WELCOME TO WORLD BANK" being yelled across the room again, or similar.
I'm more surprised that OP got a drill sergeant to admit they were wrong and congratulate OP
Not in public though, just on the QT. 😉
Look again It was his MTL not the screaming sergeant who later congratulated him. Doubt he ever got a congratulations, a well done or a beer from the screaming CQ.
@THE HOUSTONADER "Not the one from night watch". Don't know if it's me, but that text doesn't seem to say it was the screaming one.
@THE HOUSTONADER Your theory is accurate; had it come out that the trainee had let the CQ sergeant inside in violation of the access protocol, it still would have come down on him, and the instructor would have gotten some shit (not in the biggest of ways, but more notable than if, say, the flight's instructor had tricked them into opening the door).
@THE HOUSTONADER The words were "My MTL ( not the one from night watch) later quietly congratulated me...." Now assuming the "one from night watch " refers to the screaming one.....
I absolutely love how rslash isn’t bleeping out the swearing anymore it makes the delivery so much better
10:48 would like to have a word with you.
@@ZPokemonfanA ok thats fair haha I meant more of when he does his own banter vs reading the story though. I probably should’ve been more specific 😅😂
I was thinking the same thing wonder if RUclips stop demonetizing him for cursing. I hope so.
@@bigmanjelly True, I just hope in the future he can stop the censoring alltogether... and also stop masking it by saying "passionately hugging" instead of "sex".
@@ultrayy
They don't automatically demonetize for swearing. Part of the monetization process is asking about expletives, and as long as it's not within the first minute of the video, it's deemed as safe as if there were none at all.
This reminded me of when my brother was in Marine Boot. He had to do so many pushups because he kept laughing at the drill Sargents shouting because our mom told us that someone who shouts has lost complete control of the situation, and has become an adult toddler.
Drill sergeants also just say some of the funniest stuff too. They are the kings and queens of a solid roast
Drill Instructors are in the Marines. Drill Sergeants are Army
@@Buddahmonk tomato tomato, same thing
Good for him!
So I start my day by listening to Rslash to get me going every morning and my dog has picked up on this. I can watch TikToks, other youtubers, etc and he will not move from his spot. However, as soon as he hears rslash’s voice, he is up and ready to go outside
That's so cute!
The funny thing is, same
Your dog is probably hoping for r/slash's "puppy bloopers." It's been a while since he's posted them.
Plot twist the dog just doesn't like rslash (I am joking)
This is the best comment!
I like how dabney is caring less and less about censoring himself 😂😂😂
Yeah, I've heard that too XD
I was honestly surprised by the cussing. I like it
Its maybe cause he can offset the yellow sign of sadness with other sources of income, like Patreon, spotify, merch.
@@Frolkinator he forget it maybe
@@zwabbah4841 Not likely. If his income relied solely on RUclips, he'd be making more by keeping it PG, and he's got a wife and new baby to provide for.
Lmao I was dying laugh on the last story Op stuck to his gun and didn't open the door no matter what and CQ kept threat him with and I love how rSlash did a out voice like he far away
The last story was golden! Especially because it actually ended up benefitting both of them.
Yoooo RSlash is getting bold with the cursing. I always feel giddy whenever I hear an uncensored word, like “Damn! Okay!!”😂
"This... is a curse"
"Dear God..!"
"There's more"
"No...."
YESSS
Malicious compliance in an army scenario. You guys know the *drill*
A big reason I should never enlist into the military: I laugh when people get mad, and the more mad they are the harder I laugh.
You learn how to laugh inwardly. Bearing checks are frequent. And then after you graduate, you very rarely have to hold in laughter. I laugh at stuff on a daily basis and military humor is twisted.
@@nicolethompson2399 No wonder my dad made it! We both have a messed up sense of humor and laugh in less than appropriate situations. Don’t forget to take stress checks from time to time, there are a lot of crazies in my countries military.
Hahaha same here, I would probably not be able to suppress a crap eating grin while they scream at me, especially knowing that they won't actually punch me in the face hahaha I would die doing push-ups I think 😂
9:32 “Karen told me that he was expecting Karen to come out and punch him in the face…” - rSlash, 2021
I came here to say the same thing but you beat me to it 😂😂😂😂
That last story, holy hell. Vet here, and it brought me much joy.
Anytime there's a military story you read I inevitably share it with most Vets I know and there's lots of laughs!
I like the use of acoustics in the last story: the angry shouting through an intercom was great, but the quiet 'Um, sir?' from the bottom bunk really made it for me. xD
As a US Military Veteran, I can confirm the protocols of Dorm Guard.
Always love military stories because despite how pissed everyone gets at each other in them, usually they all still have respect for each other. Favorite part was the sergeant congratulating OP for sticking to the training
That last story was gold also I think the sgt took the out that op unwittingly gave him of the "I was told I would be tested" and said that it was just a test😋
Stories from the military are the funniest, these Sargents always have the worst attitudes lmfao
It's all a facade. I know a few MTIs and they are the sweetest goofballs I know. I'm also a sergeant and, although I have a good command voice, I'm nice. Just don't make me yell at you.
that fact that there's little to no censoring in the videos lately is actually awesome, it makes it funnier imo
I absolutely love the sound effects in the last story. Where you could hear the shouts echoing off of the walls. Where the nervous guy in the back of the room sounded like he was in the back of the room. AWESOME!
Even IF "ten minutes to reply to email is too slow" was the REAL reason to fire OP, they STILL should have given him a WARNING and a chance to alter his behavior and speed up his response time.
"Why didn't I get a warning?" should not be answered with "Here is the perfectly correctable reason we are firing you, effective immediately."
What idiots.
Also, no answering questions? Even a person with "self skills" needs an answer, now and then, because of differences in context and situation, and sometimes, you need to ask, "Would you prefer I do this to X degree or Y degree?" Specifications ARE IMPORTANT.
The number of times I have heard people grousing about inadequate specifications is mind-boggling. And then, they would get in trouble for "not meeting the specifications." You mean the specifications you never provided?
“[…] and she responded: (ad starts rolling)”
RUclips is a comedian.
RUclips is the guy who heard a joke once and keeps repeating it, despite everyone else no longer finding it funny. Once in a while they'll hear another joke, but then they'll repeat THAT over and over
It always catches me off guard when he says a curse. It doesn't bother me at all, but im so used to him keeping it pg it surprises me
"Technically correct" the best kind of correct.
Rslash said a swear 🤭
ralesh seasdi da wear!!!!!!!!
3:48 I love hearing Dabney curse in these old episodes. 😂
I truly love Rslash cursing more. Makes me happy in a way I can’t explain :D
That last story had me in tears. The way you deliver stories is just amazing 🤣🤣
I am really happy about the last story, idk i am just glad that the sergeant actually congratulated him on sticking to the protocol even if it was a quiet one.
The best Malicious Compliance often comes from military settings. Loved this example.
The dorm is a 2 minute walk from CQ. He was there in about 9 seconds banging on the door
Literally everyone in the dorm: why do I hear boss music
Looks like Rslash pulled a heel turn with the return to the strong language. Interesting...
Ofc
Man, I dream of being in the position OP was in during the story of the Dr. Making her be referred to as a Doctor. See, my last name is "Wright." pronounced Right. So, if someone ever forces me to call the, "Mr." or "Mrs." or "Dr." or whatever, I can then turn to them with a strait face and demand they refer to me solely as "Mr. Right."
Sorry but disagree HARD. In the story SOMEONE ELSE told her to call them by their first name. The doctor in question WORKED THEIR ASS OFF to get that title. A decade or more of work. And then HE stated in a PRIVATE email that he "needed" (probably not the wording he used) her to call him by Dr. She responded with a MASS email to everyone that she be referred to with a title you get for just being an adult. Imagine creating a big petty stink over someone asking to be addressed by a title they earned through dedication and being proud that you forced someone to not go by that title cause you are being such a bitch. That story pissed me off.
I had a similar situation to the Karen with the construction noise. I was working swing shift at crApple's slave labor camp in California (if you have an opportunity to work for crApple, don't) in late 2011, and so I'd get home at about 3 am and sleep until noon or so. My neighbor had some major construction going on and it was loud. So one morning I went over to the local donut shop and got two dozen donuts and a couple big dispenser containers of their gourmet coffee (not that garbage brown bean water Starbucks overcharges for). I went to my neighbors house and talked to the foreman, something I was used to because just a couple years prior I worked for a commercial construction company that closed because of the recession, I told him what was going on and that I usually slept until noon because of my work hours. Then, I went to my truck and got the donuts and coffee and gave it to him to give to his crew and said, "I know you guys have a job to do, if there is any way you can keep the noise down until after noon, that would be awesome." The foreman called for his crew to take a break and enjoy the coffee and donuts, and told me that he'd see what he could do. Mondays were my day off, so for the next 8 weeks, every Monday I would bring two boxes of fresh donuts and hot gourmet coffee. $30 per week was a cheap price to pay to sleep soundly, the work got done, everybody got paid, and everybody was happy. There's no need to be a Karen when sugar and caffeine are FAR more effective.
To the first story: This is a problem with my boss, too. He just doesn‘t understand that email is not a real time communication. Mind you, we can use the telephone or the webex chat function to reach another immediately, but he frequently wants to know why I didn‘t answer to this or that email - sent 30 minutes ago, without an urgency flag. I sometimes get about 30 emails an hour and have my regular duties to work on. I try to respond to any email within 24 hours and if I don‘t manage to, I respond within two business days. By the way, we don‘t have an official company policy regarding email responding time, just an unofficial politeness guideline - and this thing sais: respond on the same or the next business day, send a notification if the task is not completed within that timeframe and give an eta if possible. So, I comply with the coldest thing we have to a policy, and I prioritise emails flagged as urgent (same day response, mostly).
I really don‘t get it why some people don‘t realise that not every email is (or can be) read the instant it arrives.
The last few sentences of that last story were actually a bit more wholesome than I expected. Neither OP nor the sergeant got in trouble, and their behaviors actually both wound up working out for them in the long run.
I love hearing stories about people in basic training. As much as I hated it, it's still nostalgic and relatable 😅 This story especially hit home, it was so accurate. I had many nights like this when the drill sergeants fucked with us on fire guard. Only difference is, I did army.
As someone who's been through Air Force basic, I can attest to everything OP stated being exactly how things go...Down to the over the top "threats" from the MTL lol. I absolutely loved that last story.
Though RSlash misread at the end as it was HIS MTL, not the one that had yelled at him, that had congratulated him based on the screenshot of the story.
I was in the air force and I could see everything that was happening. I laughed so hard. We had a T.L. who made an ID card with Donald Duck on it and we have to read of “one green military ID card Donald Duck” and then check the board for it.
Good God I love drill Sargeants ways of insults they are so damn funny
Former AF here, that MTL had definitely just sewn his stripes on and had something to prove. I've seen it a million times.
happy holidays hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their day
Ah Dorm Guard Duty, such a great memory.
I have 2 brief stories of my experience with/as dorm guard. Not even close to as grand is this story is though.
as a separated member of the 'real air force' ( lol ). the headcount post was such a flashback in my mind, and i was rolling on the floor at the mention of the reflective belt. it legit brought me back to my time during BMT. good times that i never want to do again.
Hell yes, I knew what was coming. Don't forget your ID kids.
The stories lately have been so great. Love the extra effort to make them more imersive like an old radio show. The intercom effect and the distant reply were suoer nice touches to todays story
He forgot to censor himself
This is honestly funny to hear compared to his previous videos
Im so glad u were swearing in the headcount story, it made it so much better
Listening to the dorm guard story for the third time. It is hilarious. I have two comments: The CQ would have pounded on the door, not knocked. The trainee would have probably been shouting his responses. I also thought this whole scenario would be a perfect set-up to test the trainee.
Is there a r/MilitaryCompliance yet? It's a weird situation where following orders to the letter is always the best policy. I can imagine the Sarge getting him alone later and cussing him out while commending him. "How DARE you do exactly what I told you to do!"
This is what the people want! Honestly wish I didn't have a mental illness disqualifying me from it because that's how I operate. To the letter. And then I get whiplash from employers who bend the rules just to make a customer go away.
We had sort of a similar thing at our USA branch but without the BS: the person in question had accepted a position with our competitor, so she was escorted out, but she had been organizing a conference with speakers and customers. Other people did what they could to take over and do damage control, but it was still a big mess since she we couldn't access her work e-mail (privacy policy).
9:30 "Karen Told me He was expecting Karen to punch him in the face." Boy that's a sentence XA
Ahahahaha. That last one was gold. God I love military stories
sharpy345 - I hope you enjoy this one. My late grandfather was called up to the British Army in 1940 aged 32. He was by far the oldest recruit and was surrounded by lads in their teens and early twenties. He told the story of his first night on guard duty with a very nervous boy. "Watch me, lad, and get used to how this goes" he said as the first person approached:
(GF) "Halt, who goes there?"
(NCO) "Sergeant Smith."
(GF) "Advance and be recognised." (and so on).
After several hours, and a couple more challenges, he told the lad to try the next one. Tired, cold, and nervous, the lad messed up his lines:
(Lad) "Halt. Who are you?"
(Capt) "Captain Jones".
(Lad) "Stand and deliver!"
i swear, people in the military always have the best stories to tell.
Karen told him that Karen was expecting Karen to come out and punch him?😂😅😂9:25
Needed something to listen to while cleaning thanks for the great timing and Merry Christmas!
o
omg same 😁😁
“ONEOFYOUUSELESSFUCKSISGOINGTODIETONIGHT!”
The lack of spaces made me crack up 😂
Went through Air Force basic and this story is totally legit. Basic grads sometimes have to wait for a tech school slot and are often housed with current trainees. Rosters don’t always get updated. Hilarity ensues.
i love that he didn't bleep anything in the headcount story 🤣🤣🤣 it was hilarious hearing him curse
The last story reminded me of a thing I saw online of some club owner telling a bouncer if anyone not on the list makes it inside he’s fired. Well later he tries to get in and the bouncer says sorry you’re not on the list. The owner insists he owns the place and hired the bouncer and he still wouldn’t let him in. Flash forward to the owner in a jail cell with a black eye grinning and he says man I should give that guy a raise.
"I am bird without head" for running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Another great quote to use. That - and from Stargate SG-1 - "Undomesticated equines couldn't keep me away" instead of wild horses.
I was not expecting my story to be read here. I just got told my my friend that my story was featured so I had to listen ASAP. Have been a fan for a while and this was a great surprise. Thanks Rslash.
Which one was yours?
@@snowythealicorn5784 the one where my dad was the boss and gave Karen his number as he was the boss
I love these stories!! They're usually the first thing I play on RUclips daily lol
I couldn't stop laughing at the the grill Sargent part
😂😂😂 the last one was too funny xD god I love these stories.
Military Malicious Compliance usually are the best, I remember few I was part in the FDF service time, managed to fully unintenionally make couple sarges loosing they shit at public and choking on laughter.
The different voice pitches and that "Um, Sir?" sounding distant really amped up the hilarity of the situation. Great production quality! :D
That last story 👍I haven't laughed that hard for a bit, well written
Oh, that last story takes me back. When I was in Air Force basic training, I was struggling with some stuff, so I was 'recycled'- that is, sent to a unit a week behind the one I had been in. Since my new unit mates were taking classes I had already gone through, I was given dorm guard duty for a week. A couple days in, there came a knock on the door. It was a female sergeant with a couple of guys; I had never seen her before. At the time, if you recognized somebody as one of your training instructors, you could let them in, no questions asked. But again, I had never seen this woman, so I asked for ID. She starts screaming that she was a TI for that unit and threatening but I just kept asking for ID, per protocol. Finally she presses her ID against the window, and I immediately open the door. She gets inside and screams at me about an inch from my face, calling me stupid and whatnot. I couldn't get a word in. Finally- I think because it finally dawned on her- she screams, "Are you recycled?!?" I managed to get in a quick "Yes, Sergeant!" That stopped her in her tracks. She turned bright red and stalked away. One of the guys with her smiled and gave me a wink. To this day, I don't know if she was testing me or messed up. Her reaction indicated the latter. I didn't get in trouble for it though; I did precisely what I was supposed to do.
"You are fore so finish your shift and then don't come in tomorrow"
I had 4 hours left of my shift.
Boss: where is Bryan?
Co worker: he left.
Boss: he didn't ha e permission to leave
Co worker: but your fired him.
Similarly
Boss: at the end of the day you will no longer be ployed here.
So i did my work slowly and relaxed.
Boss: what the hell. You need to pick it up and move faster.
Me: why, are you gonna Fire me?
Bosses if you are gonna terminate an employee. Don't tell them beforehand.
The Sargent story at the end.... Oh so funny and the best part When something like that happens that's the way your supposed to do it. Why it's frustrating but everyone looks good is cause there was a head count that didn't line up but everyone kept to protocol so everyone was okay. Too bad it didn't fix the headcount issue cause military retardation but makes everyone look good when the exact scenario plays out the same way.
3:51 he swore?!?!? im in absolute shock i thought this was a child friendly child LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!!!!!!!!!
The dorm guard story and thee exact same thing happened to me. And I had 32 yes thirty two 340's ripped on me. The 340 was pulled out of your pocket for a mistake or other problem that may have happened. You carried 2 folded in your left shirt pocket. When I didn't let the TI in the dorm because he tested me with a fake ID he got passed and pulled a 340, your supposed to have 2 of them. Then started the "how many 340's do you have" "one sir" yoink, rinse and repeat until I walked away and got my TI. Thank you Ssgt Watson, he was a master instructor and laid this new clown low.
the fact the sergeant later congratulated op is marvellous
"I want your boss' number" -- I'm on Karen's side, here. Those of us who are up nights are given ZERO respect while we're expected to cater to day-timers' WANTS by living absolutely silently.
Agreed I work nights and my next door neighbour get her screaming grandkids visit every other day waking me up, and once I'm awake I have one hell of a problem getting back to sleep hence I would have a really cranky shift that night
I get it, ive worked nights too, but she could have come out a little nicer about it though.
Omg that last story... 😲😲😲😲 *RSLASH DROPPED THE F BOMB LIKE 5 TIMES* He obviously doesn't care about getting demonitized
That headcount was JUST like palpetine momnet in revenge of the sith where Mace says "Your under arrest, The senite will decide your fate" and plapetine responding eith "I am the senite."
Edit: 13:50 if you want the timestamp
That last one was beautiful, and I'm glad that the sergeant took it with grace after he calmed down
The Karen on night shift: I worked from 10pm to 7am for most of my career. I’m a VERY light sleeper (PTSD). The air pressure change from opening a door in the house would wake me up. My neighbor ran a babysitting business out of her house. She was a peach! I never complained to anyone about the noise. I made up a little song about spring and the birds chirping and children playing and how much I hated it. I never sang it to anyone but myself as I tried to go to sleep. It was cathartic.
My choice to work in a field that required night shifts and my PTSD are not other people’s problems.
Wonderful bit of theatre work on the last story, thank you very much!
God I just love military malicious compliance as it’s always a good time.
I don't know how any of those trainees weren't dying of laughter! I know I would have had to bury my head cuz that back-n-forth would have killed me!
That last story had me dieing and laughing so hard 🤣 I had a video image going on in my head while you read the story!
If you fire me from a job, you don't get my help after. I wouldn't even need an NDA to refuse to help them.
I am still a little star struck when I hear Dab absolutely drop the F bomb.
The last story had me in stitches from laughing so freaking hard, well done 😂
16:30 - Verbalized "The Sgt who yelled at me through the door....."
Written - "My MTL...."
MTL = Military Training Leader. This is the Father, Mother, Uncle, Aunt, Brother, Sister, Best Friend (Sarcasm), Grandparent, (name any Authoritarian in your life), of every Air Force Basic Trainee. This person is 9th only to the Squadron Superintendent, Squadron Commander, Base Chief, Base Commander, The AFSEC, The SECDEF, President, and God.
These are two different people. The Sgt remains behind the scenes and rarely shows himself in person. The MTL has to support that Sgt so praising OP in public would have been a huge no no.
This story gives me memories. I was recycled and put on Dorm Guard before I was given the protocol of my new flight. MTI (Instructors we called them in 2001) pounded on the door yelling it was an emergency. My New Flight told me to let her in but I hesitated because it was against the rule. I eventually let her in and MTI yelled at me for not doing so. She forgot her ID card and didn't want to go get it. The head games aren't a joke.
I found out I went from House of Pain to Candy Land. Most people were recycled out of HoP. Nobody was recycled out of CL. It explains lack of discipline in this MTI.
For the first story I would of gone with the you can rehire me for much much higher pay angle. To really stick it to them to ensure the event went off well.
Military malicious compliant stories are some of the best😁
Man I swear every time Rslash doesn't censor a curse word, it gives me whiplash from how unexpected it is lmao
Whoever sees this have a amazing day
As soon as I knew that sergeant was coming to the dorm, I knew exactly what was gonna go down. I was fucking wheezing I was laughing so hard
In the last story, I thought that was the test. I mean, they knowingly planted one extra person and set it up for the final test to see if OP would open the door, and he passed.
*Technically correct, the best kind of correct*