Short-term gratification brought about by swiping left on men results in women getting that ego boost on having rejected a guy on an app. That boost and gratification vanishes pretty quickly when top-tier guys don't give them the time of day, as it should be.
There are regularly posts on the Bumble sub-reddit of women complaining and raging about men giving them boring, short answers and not really asking anything back. Its like yea the guy you matched with has tons of matches and you weren't at top so he is giving the hotter girls more attention. Those posts usually end up turning into circle jerks about how men suck at conversations or whatever else.
Imagine being on a platform that is literally meant to inflate your ego... only to crush it when you don't get the response you want. To me, it's about time peoples egos finally got brought down because all of this ego inflation is getting sickening.
When I was younger I would boost my ego by going to the gym and benching 280 pounds. Or I would throw on a pair of boxing gloves and spare with my friends. I don't get what the appeal is of swiping on tinder to boost your ego.
👏 women are to expensive I'm not going to date an American woman who will just make me pay, expect me to support them, and then divorce me, and take all my cash and make me pay child support, even though she makes as much as me. This exact scenario happened to a friend of mine and he wasn't even twenty six.
That’s why I literally deleted my dating apps, I just wasn’t getting any matches like before I met my ex girlfriend. I met my ex on an app about 7 years ago, but now it’s like it literally died down. I had pretty decent pictures and short and funny bio about myself. Yes, I’ve matched with one or two, and messaged back and forth, but not constantly and didn’t want to move to text messaging. Right before deleting them, I thought I would expand my search to Brazil and the Philippines and let me tell you, I got a lot of matches, but I wanted to connect with girls in my area.
I went through life confused about why most of women's dating complaints and the the generalizations they'd make about men were contrary to what I knew about myself. At first, I thought it was a good thing - _I don't cheat or disrespect women or ignore them for days, so they'll definitely want me..._ Eventually, however, I discovered that the reality underlying this contradiction is that I am simply irrelevant. My behavior has no impact on my results because I don't even qualify for consideration.
Women have more options than they've ever had and all they can do is whine about it. It's like hitting the powerball and bitching about not knowing what to do with all the money.
Somebody pull out the small violin for these women. I can say as a guy that dating apps are a true waste of time and you're better off going out into the real world and talking to women. Most women on dating apps just want to see how much validation they can get from men, while the guys they really want don't want them back.
Yea I don't belive in using dating apps. It's dehumanizing, to see people sell them selves like a grocery store ad. Makes me feel like another product on store shelf just thinking bout it...
I am a Men and I just DELETED them last week. I downloaded other Apps (Not Tinder) and they are all the same. MATCHES and yet they don’t write you back, they just collect matches for validation as usual. It’s exhausting tbh. Women saying Men are doing this to them is pure BS. I am 100% sure they get messages every day.
I think that "mass swiping" for men (at least average men) is probably the only viable strategy to get a handful of matches over a few months. Sadly, I've done that and essentially just gone out with "whomever is left." That kind of mass rejection feeds on itself and in short order you'll be taking out girls you don't even find mildly attractive... just to get that reassurance that someone out there thinks you're at least worthy of speaking to (or perhaps, worthy of buying them dinner). Interestingly, I don't think of those "less than attractive" women I took out found me attractive (at least I've never had a follow up). So we have 2 people, nobody is interested... Both going out for no real reason at all. LOL! It truly is amazing.
Looks are only part of the equation. I have found myself to be very attracted to a woman who I thought was kind of plain looking at first, not ugly just not someone who didn't really stand out. And once I got to know them, know their personality and I got to see the entire package come together I was really into them. So that's why I swipe right more then I don't because I don't judge a book by its cover anymore. I'm genuinely interested in getting to know women who I might have never given chance if I was just obsessed with looks. I would rather be with someone who's a 7 that I have a genuine connection with then a 10 who is boring AF
@@joshuaortiz2031 Yeah, I don't mind that. I'd date a below average chick. Like, if you're vaguely feminine I can work with it. That's the thing. Even bottom feeding 3's and 4's, the girls seem uninterested. I've been trying to figure out if that was a "foodie call" thing or they truly just have so many options I can't compete. Granted, I suppose I could be hideously ugly, but I'm not overweight... 5 11", and not disfigured. Just very "average." Sadly, that doesn't appear to be enough to even bottom feed successfully from my experience. Only options I possibly have are essentially female sumo wrestlers that outweigh me by a fair margin. But I haven't tried that out yet, so even they may hate me. LOL!
@@joshuaortiz2031 You make a fair point, but your range of 7-10 makes that point valid. 7s who are cute but not stunning are still objectively attractive. When the range drops to like 4-7, and your only chance of getting responses is from the 4s and 5s, and if a guy is a 6 or 7, that stops being true. Physical attractiveness isn't everything, but it's foolish to think it isn't important, and having to downgrade noticeably below your own attractiveness level is demoralizing. The problem is there are many men in the 6-8 range who have slim chances of landing anyone in their own range, because the disproportionate amount of men/women on apps coupled with women's hypergamy has left all those women in the 6-8 range vying for the few 9-10 men, plus the 9-10 women they're competing against. The outcome of this is there are going to be a lot of both men and women in that 6-8 range in their 30s who, mathematically, ought to have found each other, but because the women only wanted to date up, all parties will be left lonely. It's easy to sound pissy, but most of the problems in the modern dating world are women's poor grasp on reality and unrealistic expectations. It's not men expecting some fantasy partner who exists only in their imagination, it's women.
@@zipperpig calling it bottom feeding is pretty dehumanizing. I honestly hate the whole 1-10 rating scale people use to judge women's looks. What people find attractive is still subjective for the most part. I actually prefer girls who many might not find very attractive I have my own tastes I like what many would call a butter face which means average face with a nice voluptuous feminine body. I don't like women who have super model faces I have been with my fair share of those and many of them are stuck up, lack humility and the way they are used as objects in advertising has conditioned me to see them as commercial products which is gross. They don't look like real people to me. Real people have imperfections. I have always been into the girl next door look I'll take that any day over someone who is on the cover of a sports illustrated swimsuit magazine. If you have any hobbies you should just try to find a woman who shares those hobbies and be her friend first that has worked for me. As a man, friend zoning a girl only makes them want you more because you don't come off as a desperate thirsty fool. That is the ugliest thing to a woman.
I have stopped shy of actually asking those women out so I'm not wasting either party's time. Once I realized my options were "whomever is left," I just checked out. I'm not wasting my money on dinner and dates, fully knowing I'm never going to want a relationship with them, no matter how great their personality is. If I don't find someone the least bit sexually attractive, I'm not going to want to have a family with them. Why bother going on a date if you already know that's the end result? There's nothing to learn, at least nothing useful.
This shouldn't be so surprising. I remember reading in a book called Self Made Man by the late author Norah Vincent where she pretended to be a man that one of the revelations she had was the amount of rejection men recieve from women and how soul crushing it can be.
@@ennjaychannel Hence why she had herself voluntarily committed the experience of which led to her second book Voluntary Madness. I can't say for sure, but I think it also led to her euthanizing herself last year.
@@IronmanV5 she most likely couldn't handle the rejection men face. Every day. Multiplied by the fact that she feels guilt for how her gender treats men, AND the fact that she still treats them like that anyway may have pushed her over the edge. Figuratively speaking. RIP.
@@machupikachu1085 It wasn't just guilt, she was also a lesbian and facing the reality of how women pick a partner made her hate women despite being one herself.
It’s hard to have much sympathy for women on dating apps. A plethora of options is way better than having no options at all, which is what the majority of men have on dating apps.
@lukeyboy5385yeah, tough to even consider those options when choosing one would ruin your life. When the girl is 5 inches shorter than me, she probably shouldn’t be 50-100 pounds heavier than me…also I’m not big into tattoos and hoes on dating apps are absolutely covered in them. Plus, I don’t even want to think about what their p***y has been through, it’s got to look like an uncleaned Petri dish that has had hundreds of different bacteria growing in it for decades. NOPE!
I quit all dating apps over 3 years ago. Same woman over and over again, same unrealistic expectations, almost all of them were single mothers, too many drunks and the vast majority used OLD MISLEADING pics
The misleading pics thing is infuriating. I matched with a girl two years ago who looked really cute in all her pics. Healthy, but not exactly "fit." Turn up on a coffee date and the "Covid pounds" looked to be about 40 lbs. more than any of her pictures. It's one thing to have some older pics and you may have a few extra pounds or slightly different hair, but when you have that big a gap between your advertisement and your product, it's inexcusable. Went for coffee and never responded after. That kind of deceit tells a lot about a person.
Same here...I actually went back on a couple times throughout the years and I see the SAME women on there...They dont want to meet anyone or only the top tier men...They are their own worst enemy!!!! The last date I had on there, she was 15 pounds overweight from her pictures and you can tell she was just grilling me about how much I made etc. She was 41 and honestly thought she was hot shit!! Let these women die alone with their cats!!
I don't do social media. The thing is you're judging a book by its cover. The person looks good in photos and has as good profile. How do you know if that person is honest about his / her profile? You don't really know until you meet this person.
How do you meet the person? If you never match, send a reply, agree to meet, or skip out on dates; when do you find out how honest a person is from their profile? I know women want a man who is pre-qualified before they agree to a date. However, women are not getting dates from traditional places anymore: work, school, family, friends, activities, etc. They are meeting on dating apps or in bars/restaurants.
@@tacticaltruthteller Banning filters is not going to prevent only 5% of men from getting all the attention. It will just make it easier for those men to sort out the women who match with them. Women getting rejected by the top men won't make them more likely to continue to use the apps. Women are more sensitive to rejection than men.
@pace1195 Where do you get this 5% stat from? Provide the source. Show me facts. Show me data. I don't care about anything except for people being their true authentic selves online and in real life. A filter is a lie. Makeup is a lie. Plastic surgery is a lie. Banning filters is a step in the right direction. It must just make a more honest person out of an otherwise delusional liar.
@CourtneyRyan yeah honestly, no one cares about young male suicides, now the female equivalent is on the rise. Empathy gap, and women can try to close it. What more can most men do who are already doing everything they possibly can to "work on themselves". Women reap what is sowed? Why should we have empathy after being mocked and ridiculed as incels for so long when they only want one thing anyways.
Probably the worst part about dating apps, or among the worst, is how little effort they encourage or cultivate. If you actually bother to groom yourself, dress well, and go out with intention (to put your best foot forward and meet people), that effort will be more rewarding than bumming around the house flicking your finger left and right on a phone app, that costs nothing to download and just copies your social media photos and profile. I initially liked the idea of Tinder because it meant I could connect with women I wouldn't have met in person otherwise. But now it seems like, especially since COVID, apps and the internet are starting to substitute real life connections and give some people an excuse to isolate/create a buffer against actually having to try in dating and in life, and it's leaving a lot of us much worse off.
I'd say another problem is, this has made women not want to be approached irl anymore. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to talk to a girl only to have them tell me "if I wanted a guy to talk to me I'd be on a dating app."
@@CYBER_FunkER Exactly. Everyone's saying "just go outside" Like I've tried that it's just as bad. It's like people don't expect that the internet has any effect on the real world or something. It's so weird.
Oh, it must be terrible having hundreds of potential partners reach out to you for you to select from 😐. Imagine if they only got a few matches and no one ever messaged them first and they always had to reach out to the men first....then they'd know how miserable it can be.
And when they reach out to them they probably aren't going to get a response back. When they finally set a date up the likelihood that she'll flake is 50/50.
Most women I've known usually do not have the dilema of finding someone. +85% biggest challenge will be finding the RIGHT one. Sadly I've watched several individuals waste years of their young lives going for the "challenges". It's a sick history that constantly repeats itself, and dating apps aren't helping.
My favorite thing about dating sites is how when you get DM'd by women, they usually say something clever like, "Hey"; sans punctuation cuz that's too much effort. I feel less like I'm talking to someone who wants to know me, and more like they are bored and want someone to entertain and/or validate them.
My experience with dating apps were putrid to say the least. Even overweight single moms that were 3’s at best rejected me. My mental health deteriorated so much that I had to quit because of the ghosting and rejection was never ending with no end in sight
I shit you not, even a woman who is a 3 will get more attention than a good looking guy online. All these apps are so toxic. They're a great source of validation and an ego boost for women but not good for men whatsoever.
I tried the whole dating app thing, but I didn’t get a single match or response. I found myself swiping right on most profiles and slowly felt myself spiral into hopelessness with every rejection. So I wisely gave up on dating apps. I now avoid dating apps like the plague they are. Unfortunately, I don’t get any better results in real life.
You don't mention your age, but you're invisible until mid - late 20s when you're stable, decent apt/house & car, solid career. Men usually peak (most desirable) 30 - 40+. If it's not working, go overseas/south to a non-Western country, avoid big cities. Those women are born and raised to be feminine wives desiring a family. See Passport Bros and Filipina Pea. Study the culture and laws before venturing forth. Divorce is terrifying, but it's got nothing to do w/luck, it's your (and partner) skills in nurturing the relationship. The two key skills: 1) total, open, honest communication; 2) no fighting--this is simple: "we have a problem, how do we solve it?". What does it matter who's right/wrong, the problem still needs solving. The winner of a fight is the one who loses the least. WTF?!?. How do you win by losing? There's nothing remotely close to the satisfaction and fulfillment of a strong marriage with children. Our biological need is to protect and provide for a family, which this is, to the max. What you get from raising a family, knowing you did it, is beyond your wildest dreams. This is a wonderful 1/3 century-long marriage talking.
I have decent results for play but finding someone who is in the realm of normalcy for long term aka isn’t a 40 year old acting like a 13 year old or a sorority girl or who isn’t saddled with an addictive personality. For starters. Is a challenge. Of line where do you meet? I’m not approaching a girl in the gym. That’s creepy and I’m definitely not getting a hold rat from a local bar.
I'll translate that headline. "Female 6-8s aren't getting the attention they want from the 9-10 men, and are miserable at the notion they might have to relegate themselves to men on their own attractiveness level who will actually respond." I have basically checked out of dating and the apps because of these problems. I've been on plenty of dates with very attractive women (7-9s), but these days the only active likes I get are from women I, frankly, find repulsive (I'm talking like 2-3s in attractiveness). I'd rather be alone than be ashamed of my date. I know I'm not alone in this feeling, and we're going to see a LOT of men and women in their 30s being permanently single because of this disconnect between women's expectations and reality. This attitude of "if I can't land a 10, then I'm not playing" is going to make a lot of very unhappy women, and will make the rest of society equally unhappy.
Actually having the attitude of choosing to be single and find your own happiness instead of settling for someone you don’t really want and trying to make them fit into your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. That means less divorces and less single mothers/fathers. Relationships are not meant to be draining and a burden.
It isn’t tinder making women miserable, it is women making women miserable. Pick a decent guy, stay loyal to him, burn your other options and stop waiting for a giga Chad to give you attention. Y’all are ridiculous. Plenty of decent hardworking men out there who would treat you right but you gotta hold out as long as possible for what you consider to be your best option. It’s like being unable to pick something on Netflix simply because there’s so many options and before you know it the time to watch something has passed and it’s bed time. Except in this case bed time equates to middle age lonliness.
What you men aren’t getting is we don’t NEED you. That’s why women are not bothering to pursue relationships unless the man is special and truly adds something to our life. We don’t want to date someone just to date someone.
@@becca53444This whole women don't need men thing is just such OBVIOUS horsecrap. Women who go on into their years without a man become increasingly neurotic and insane. Women need men and men need women, this whole issue of feminism "The two sexes are the same and interchangeable" is complete marxist nonsense to destroy civilizations.
@@becca53444no matter how much a man does for self improvement even if he's successful and has decent money, it is never enough to satisfy your kind of women. Juts not happening. In all fairness I wouldn't want a woman with that kind of attitude either just to save myself from constant headaches and the opportunity to euthanize myself
@@becca53444unless if the man is special and adds something to your life. Most have and still do but you see, the thing is, the requirements that the majority of you have does not apply to most men let alone the average men. History has already and made it clear that men are the ones who mostly provide and construct for the benefit of humanity for safety, protection, security and leisure. Appreciation and courtesy just doesn't always seem to be presented for those who dedicated their time, effort and energy, blood and sweat sacrificed to preserve historical features and to save current and future generations. When some of you women say you don't need men, think about this, imagine if all men went away for a trip to a different planet that's habitable for a few days whilst leaving all women on earth, things would have been light years far apart by the time men return to earth.
Women don't actually settle with Chad though. Chad ends up 42 and alone and crying about how he can't find a good "traditional" woman that will be okay with being the 200th person that's shared his dick. Because Chad is and never was capable of understanding that no woman with sense wants to end up with the community dick for life. Chad's role in life is being the pass around. Conversely, entitled red pill incels who mask themselves as "good guys" have fucked up the game for all of us that really are good guys. So it's not enough anymore to tell a woman "hey, I'm not like some of these other dudes" because too many people have fucked shit up. Then there's the losers who've had their "hearts broken" that say fuck all women and become the baggage of everyone they fuck and throw away, which then makes women go "all guys are trash!"
As a man, from my point of view, i swipe a lot on cute and above girls, so maybe like 50% because i want to give everyone a chance and let character be the defining factor. Women on the other hand seem shallow as f**k and just swipe on the best looking guys and then get into "situationships" . I really feel no sympathy for women that dig their own grave. Also i'm 35 so i've dated quite a lot in my lifetime, things changed to much in the last 5 years it's unbelievable
Got married recently to a girl I met off of match 2 years ago. So far, so good. I’m glad I’m out of the game, because it’s horrific. I did notice that by the end, women were far more interested in me than they used to be.
@@hornetguy9063 Congrats and best of luck man. Just remember: Stay grounded and in charge. If you simp for her she WILL leave you. No one respects someone who kisses their ass. Cheers!
Imagine a dating app that requires you to select an explanation as to why you rejected someone before you can move on to the next profile. And your rejection data accumulates, and is visible to everyone who sees your profile.
this is actually brilliant. You could be the one to make it? I would use this honestly because i could use it for self improvement and everyone else would be subject to a totally reasonable quid pro quo compared to the nightmare we currently have to deal with on tinder and whatnot.
I am very old school. I think dating apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and Facebook are making people miserable if this keeps happening with the matching but no talking. Seriously, I like meeting in person, catching the vibe and seeing where it really goes. I hope that in the future it gets better for sure for BOTH SIDES. And ladies, get rid of your filters. Guys don't think it's attractive in anyway. We want to see and know the Real You. 😊
@@pace1195 The 5% is all you need for your true love. Always believe in yourself and know that if they don't accept you for who you truly are, then they are NOT YOUR SOULMATE, period. You are only beautiful if you truly believe it. Fuck what ever else people think. They are ignorant.
Excellent analysis as always. I would add that there are so many more men on apps as its become a "safe" way to meet women. In IRL there's a huge danger of being called a "creep" for "having the nerve to...", while women have turned to online dating the same way they would shop on amazon. Why go through the touble of meeting in IRL when the next date is just a swipe away.
The topic is very interesting indeed there. You have told essence of these apps. That's for full respect Courtney 👏👏👏👏👏👏. As a man, I can say some things about these apps. Now some of you may call me that I'm an old fashion guy, but I prefer it that way, because of the safety of myself (bu I don't care even if you write down some hating comments, or if you put dislikes on my comments, cause you're helping me getting more views, suggestions, recommendations, etc.). Let me say that I don't use these meeting apps. Why? Because I'm concerned for my safety. I've reed in some newspapers long time ago that one guy asked for meeting with one girl. What happened was that the guy was kidnapped, and he was held for 3 to 4 days locked. And the kidnappers asked ransom for this guy. Of course they drag out time so that the kidnappers could somehow be apprehended. But after 4 days, the guy somehow got free from the kidnappers, and he escaped to house next door, where was police contacted, and kidnappers were arrested. My point here is that the bad thing of social media, and dating apps is that some of them are making us feel lonely. Sad, but it's true. Also, I have mentioned in some of your videos that some of them asked me to send them gift cards (or credit cards), but they didn't accept to be seen somewhere in public. And you can see that this is a red flag saying that you have to put the bad people away, and to stop contact with them. Social medias can be used as advertising yourself, your work, your hobbies, companies etc, cause they are some kind of visit cards (let's call it that way). What I meant to say is this: "The social medias, and some apps are good servants, but they are also bad masters." Like it or not, that's the thing. Sad but true. Also I might add this thing as well. I mentioned it a couple of times in one of your videos Courtney. And that is: "The problem of the lonely man did not arise yesterday. This problem has been around since the very existence of humanity, with the fact that the topic was not given enough attention as it is now." For me, a better way of using dating apps (let's call it that way) is to go somewhere in public. For example to go to gym, to go to library, to fencing course, going to hobby shows of model kits, lessons in playing musical instruments, etc., where you can meet people, and maybe your soulmate. Meaning to say is don't use these social medias, and apps for meeting people. That would be a better suggestion that you should all go out, and it will work. And is the better way to socialize. Just give it a try, and you'll see the results. The color of the nails goes well with the color of the ring, with the pattern of the dress and with your beautiful smile 👏👏👏👏👏👏. La perfection madam ❤💙🤍.
Look up "How Couples Met" by Statista. While it didn't have fencing classes listed, the places most couples meet are dating apps and bars. This was published in 2017. How much worse is it post-pandemic? Something tells me model kits are not a women dominated hobby. I already know how to play an instrument, and the choir I sing in is almost entirely a generation older than me. Finally, have you seen the gym videos of women complaining about creepy men? Unless you are going to the library to meet a drag queen, your suggestions on where to meet people is severely lacking.
Dating apps are making EVERYONE miserable. Well, maybe except "the top 5% guys". As a guy that would rate himself little over average, decent looking, working out, earning good money, I get about a match a month, and I would say 9/10 matches either never respond, or unmatch me mid conversation. I am aware that women are flooded with options, and most of them are poor options, so its bad for everyone. However, having options, even if most are bad, is better than having none
Yes, women swipe and hope to chat with about 2% of men on the apps. These men have tons of attention and reinforce many of the generalized views of men. I dont have time to read every profile, especially when so few coversations/dates actually occur for me. I swipe anyone who looks attractive to me. Once there is a match i will read their profile and if it doesnt look like a good fit I will delete or not message. Nobody wants to spend hours each day on these things, or phones in general.
I no longer use dating apps. I got my passport and I’m only dating foreign women when I go overseas now. This is a permanent change for me. So far they are more humble, friendlier, in better health, less materialistic, easier to talk to, have less hideous tattoos, and are less racist. I’m happier than I’ve been in years. I’m planning to sell my business and just move abroad within 2 years. I just thank god I don’t have kids here. I’m so tired of the hate culture this society has. This political party hates that political party. This race hates that race. This gender hates that gender. Also, more & more people are confused about their role in nature. I’m all the way over it..
@@JennthegreenNot true, the further we stray from our natural roles the worse off a society is. Ignore natural law and the natural division of labor and society shall collapse in its demographics
@@GigaNietzsche that's simply untrue. Ignoring that hurts every man that enjoys hobbies and tasks that he might be really good at, for what the societal expectations are. You say it's worse, Well, we have lower crime rates, lower divorce rates. The more evenly divided the work in the home, the more likely that the marriage will last. My husband enjoys cooking and enjoyed very much caring for our children when I was at work. I don't understand why gender roles are that important. We have mind of our own. Doing things based on what others think, is not going to lead to a happy life. Matter of fact. Stay at home moms report the highest amount of depression and use of antidepressants. So that alone proves that women need purpose outside the home in TODAY'S society.
I used to use dating apps, then I realized they were making me broke, getting one date every five months or more. And that was only after I gave up being picky. It started out I'd only select the girls I thought were pretty and relatable. Then I started selecting only the women who were relatable. Then I started selecting all the fat girls that were okay'ish looking. Then I started selecting the pill poppers and reefer smokers. Then I started selecting absolutely every girl on multiple sites without any standards in mind whatsoever, just so I could go on dates twice a year with a total grab bag of crazy.
When I got to step 2 in your list, I realized what I was doing and uninstalled them all. I haven't been on them in years. My mental health is far better for it. Do the things you enjoy. Life is so much better.
@@justacoginthefkeryoh yeah getting to a place where your just trying to increase your probability of a match. And still get none. It's the apps, the people that only focused dating through the apps as their only avenue to experience dating. Apps took all the romance and fun right out of the dating game. Smh😊
I remember a study that said that 80% of women are chasing 20% of the guys (the 9's and 10's). Those guys are bombarded with opportunities, and a lot of women are going to go unanswered.
@@Kayettewhy? It would be the right thing to do but it is also the “right thing to do” to at least say “not interested” rather than merely ignore or ghost someone, something I’ve found very common among woman. And not just the “Stacy’s” or whatever you want to call the female equivalent of Chad.
One social meet up group I attended lately, one of the guys there told me he sadly didn't get his very first girlfriend until he was 30, while he is happy about having a girlfriend now, he still gets kind of depressed and bitter and resentful over having been single that long. Feels he didn't grow up having a normal youth because of being single that long. He has the mindset that he feels if he had been born a woman at least an average plain-looking woman, then there is a guarantee he would not have been alone or single that long. Yet people think men still have the better end of the stick in the dating world than women do, especially when men are far more likely than women are to be single that long or to have a lonely journey.
I'll say this, I have been on tinder and bumble since about 2017 so 6 years, and I have never not one single time met a woman in person from the dating apps
Unfortunately you're not in the top 10%. And probably not the top 50% either. Best thing you can do is delete the apps. And buy a gym membership. Increase your sexual market value. You can't change your face. But you can change your body. Also focus on your goals. Find success. And the women will find you
The way that dating has changed for me. I can't find a woman that isn't dating several men at the same time. I get called "preference" or "preferred boyfriend", but they don't care if I leave to go find someone else because they already have their options set up, and replace me in an instant. Even though they are "looking" for their ride or die, they will never settle for good. Tinder makes me depressed, and I have to regulate my time on there. I rarely get a match (maybe one a week and that's good), and if I do, the converstation lasts about a day at best until they ghost me. I almost always reply to matches, and I'm the one that has to break the ice. I reply quickly because I swiped on them for a reason! I want a date with someone like me. In all my conversations, Im the last one on read. I have a whole inbox that says you: "...". Ego boost? I don't think so. I fall into the 80%. The article suggests that women are dpressed because the 20% man (actually attracted to) doesnt have time for them, and they are flooded by those who they don't want. It's dpressing for both.
My experience has only gotten worse. The women in my age range have higher standards while offering a lesser product. Even using a matchmaker was a waste as I became the source of free meals for dates and the matchmaker dismissed my concerns and preferences. At this point I’m hoping for the hard times to correct the imbalance in society.
If your matchmaker dismissed your concerns, that’s a bad situation. Please understand that there is nothing wrong with realistic standards. IMO, the best standards are values based. There is a huge difference between I want a woman who looks hot in a bikini and I want a woman who eats right and exercises. One is valued based, the other is not. I don’t know where you’re meeting the women you’re dating, but you may need to look in other places. Tell friends and family that you’re looking for a girlfriend or wife. Become the best version of yourself. Do you have any goals for the next five years of your life? I’m not necessarily talking about marriage. Do you have financial goals? Do you have educational goals? Do you have plans for travel? For your career? For your health? Use inexpensive first dates as a way to weed out the gold diggers. Suggest meeting for coffee or taco Tuesday at a Mexican restaurant. Go to breakfast or brunch. Please keep a positive attitude about women. That will make it easier to find the right one. I ended a three year relationship almost a year ago. After that relationship ended, I modified the values I had on my “husband I have” list. (Yes, I’m a woman.). I’ve used my past relationships to influence what values I want my husband to possess. I have told people that I want to get married. I recently made a five year plan that has multiple areas of my life I can improve. I 100% believe in inexpensive first dates. Unless you have known someone for years, a lot of money shouldn’t be invested in the first few dates. If a woman can’t handle that, that’s her problem, not yours. (I have a long list of inexpensive date ideas. Thanks Pinterest.) I keep a positive attitude about men. Just because a few men messed up doesn’t mean all men are messed up. BTW, I have a friend who wants a man to kill the bugs in her house. That and roll out the trash. She’s a simple woman. She doesn’t need anyone rolling in dough. Just something to think about.
@@tspencer661 Thanks for the reply. I'm 37, run my own shop, I've spent about 20 years in the army national guard. I live roughly an hour between two large cities but I'm still in the country. My preference is fit, feminine, and able to have children. I'm not a fan of tattoos or smoking/drugs either because when I go to a professional meeting or outing you kind of want your date not sleeved out and looking a little classy. Part of the issue is they would send me introductions where the woman was physically larger than me or she was on the other side of the state at three hours away by interstate. Nothing against some of the introductions but sending someone my way who is in their late 30's and figuring in courting for a couple or few years and then an engagement and wedding. Well that puts a person in the geriatric category for pregnancy and likely to have complications if not needing IVF. When it comes to friends and family setting me up with people there is a normally a comment like "she has a pretty face" or "a great personality" or something like that followed by me asking "how big is she" or "how many kids does she have" I spent my twenties and early thirties working a lot and overseas in a war to get to where I am now. I don't think my requirements are crazy but then again the world is crazy anymore.
If you're spending on a matchmaker anyways. Just spend it on travel. As an immigrant, I believe you will see how different relationships are around the world. Go where you are appreciated. At worst, you had a good vacation.
*In Summary:* Reasons for Using Dating Apps *Average Woman:* Waste men's time, energy, and money, Ego boost, Coping with Low Self Esteem at men's expense, Play games *Average Man:* Date Logically tell me how women aren't single handily ruining dating apps for men and women when they have more options than they know what to do with, yet still find themselves miserable. The introduction of dating apps was like handing the keys of a multibillion dollar company to a 7 year old child. Women have so much of a say in how things are run and what options they choose to take but the average one doesn't have the slightest clue of what direction they want to take. *To have all the options and still be miserable is like to be rich yet go hungry.* You'd be a damn fool to do so and the onus is entirely on you if you do. *When you can't decide on what you want for dinner, the problem isn't the waiter, it's you.*
@@aditopguy9785 I thought the same thing. The thing is, the ones that need to post for that reason are typically the most desperate and insecure to begin with. They feed off of it just to get by, just to feel "normal", to feel like they are special. It's like how a little kid might need their parents approval to feel like they did a good job on a task. A LOT of women need the approval of hundreds and thousands of men just to feel some semblance of accomplishment in life. In a LOT of cases even the most average man around would have developed himself more and/or is doing a job (construction worker, plumber, police officer, firefighter, engineer etc.) that is far more meaningful and beneficial to society than what the girl is doing. So in other words the girls know that in reality they are less valuable than these men (obviously society doesn't always directly reflect that when it comes to how easy it is for certain women to earn money) that's one of the reasons why they temporarily get a little ego boost from the attention these men give them. It's never going to lead to any real long lasting fulfillment because the fact that they have to seek validation in the first place shows you how desperate they are, and how little they think of themselves. It's like, if you're a multi 7-Figure business owner going on 10+ years in your industry, you don't need to reach out to McDonald employees to fell like you're doing a good job. You're already living a life that proves it. Many women need to seek out the attention of (countless) men because despite what you see on the outside/online they know deep down they haven't/aren't really accomplishing anything much in their own lives. Nothing of true difficulty and effort. Most (i.e 90% of) women literally don't even have the confidence to simply go up to a guy they like and ask them out. That alone shows you how insecure they are. So it's no surprise that the constant stream of digital attention isn't going to help her much when she's out in the real world and realizes that she's a single 20+ year old grown ass woman who still can't even speak her mind like a normal functioning adult.
I am doing this now. Some of these women don't even respond to our messages. Yesterday I send a message to a woman and she didn't even respond, so now I'm collecting matches 😂
@@machupikachu1085 What do you know about us??? We are humans with problems like you. Why do you think women cannot be unhappy or sad or having bad moments???
I‘ve made my peace with the fact, that I‘ll be left over. Dating apps are the most superficial thing ever, and if you’re not a woman, then forget it anyway. I am 36, handicapped (which means money is always short), a scarecrow and so done with trying to match others expectations. I‘ve tried to do that, but all I got from it was, that the one woman I loved more than everybody else combined, exchanged me literally over night for a better looking (not being) person. So I am done. Take me as I am or leave me alone. I have no desire for a woman (in my case) who’s constantly trying to change me and where whatever I do is never good enough.
As someone who has a disability, it’s very difficult to find someone to date. Let me give a little bit of context. I am completely blind, and unfortunately, because I am completely blind, a lot of people seem to be of the opinion that I should date other blind people. However, there is a major issue with this. a lot of the people that I end up dating in the blind community are either one of two things. Very sheltered and immature, or very full of themselves. As far as dating in the cited world, I haven’t had much success with that either. My longest relationship ongoing was about four years. It was with another person in the blind community. We got engaged after the first year of being together. Ironically enough, she actually asked me to marry her. Needless to say the whole thing went to hell in a hand cart three years later. Am I the type of person to give up on love? hell no but I am a little more choosy with who I get with.
Deleting the apps has helped my dating life a lot - find fun things to do in your area and since it's real life without the pressure of people putting their best foot forward you get to see the real and authentic person rather than an idealized version of who they are.
100%, go back to how we use to meet. I’m meeting stacks of chicks all younger at my local gym. Can pretty much pick and choose who I want really. On an app no chance. Remember apps are designed to make money not find you love.
5 years did a lot to and for me. So much is different and so much is the same. After over 5 years of binging dating stats, essays, and personal accounts, I feel like my experience must simply be extremely niche and unfortunate. I bare most of the responsibility, but my choices have made me largely happy. Hopefully one day someone will make me regret opting to focus on treading my familiar (safe) single path and give me a second chance to have something better. -Next to no women have showcased to me that they can make my life better while demonstrating that they're not a dangerous risk to engage with. I don't have common needs however, so that's my journey
When men join dating apps they swipe right on who they like and left on who they don't. Since women swipe left on 90% of the men these new men on dating apps get frustrated due to zero matches. These men then change strategies to swipe all women to the right and if and when they get a match they will do the filtering afterwards.
This is exactly why one should be off dating apps completely. Period. Especially if you’re a Man. Girl A: Wants attention and gets it on apps from Men without purpose or goals who are swiping out of Scarcity OR Girl B: Drawn to a real in person person who has themselves together because they aren’t distracted and scarcity mindset swiping… Who are you taking? Tough choice. #LogOFF
The advice I got for tinder was to swipe right on any girl that at least you might ever, under some limited circumstances (drunk, etc), perhaps be able to stomach hooking up with.
I LOVE IT! Women go there looking for attention, get the swipe they bait out, but get "dunked" when it comes to the "validation turned frustration" afterward. Men, who outnumber them, just couldn't take the "match" seriously. The lack of a chase is the source of frustration. The whole joke turned on them. 😂
And my bet is that the article she found is a complete lie. plus...you know it's bad when they even try to scam u on RUclips comments... .pretending to be a pretty face (with their 2 subscribers and zero videos).
I have given up on swiping for women. For a while now I just leave my profile there and let them come to me as at least then I know or assume they found me attractive or liked what I had to say. Even with that at say a match or two a week in my small demographic 99.9% of the time I am often ghosted or left hanging for days at a time and they disappear after a seemingly engaging initial exchange. Or disappear after I ask them for a date. So clearly it seems to me women seem to be distracted by the number of options they have vs men. I have had some great first dates as well that don’t seem to go anywhere because of what seems like to me a distraction of constant better options - hypergamy? I’ve even been told this . But they all just cycle through this small percentage of seemingly top eligible men who will play the part but ultimately have zero interest in long term. That’s what ultimately ruins women and makes them miserable. But yet they keep doing it over and over.
Dating apps make everyone miserable! I've tried every app under the sun and got literally nowhere. My former Dating coach basically told me I wasn't trying hard enough and she eventually gave up on me...this was 2021. I no longer use apps, however, I only go out 3 times a week with 2 being in the gym cause I have a personal trainer. Dating apps are just misery. Unless I hire someone to pizzazz my photos or if I'm gay and flamboyant, or fake, dating apps aren't for men like me
@@GetBenched2010 I unfollowed her after last year, which I should've done a long time ago. Any dating coach that pushes clients to use dating apps can screw off. They DO NOT WORK
Yeah, as a man, when I was on Tinder I did swipe exactly how you described it and maybe got a match once a week. Then the girl would promptly unmatch for some reason, so I didn't even have the chance to send a message, or they unmatched after the first message. Matches that would answer me were probably fewer than once a month. Overall, it was a huge waste of time. Fortunately, I don't waste my precious time on Tinder anymore. ;)
‘The Paradox of Choice’ by Barry Schwartz explains this perfectly. When faced with a variety of choice, you either choose badly or more commonly, miss a good thing that is right front of you because you think there’s better out there. Which means you actually end up with nothing. The ones who find a good thing & end up fulfilled are the ones who appreciate what is in front of them. It’s a good read. Worth checking out.
When 85% of women are after less than 10% of men, all of whom pretty much can pick from any of that 85% as they choose, it's a recipe for disappointment. Ladies: -He CAN be less than 6 feet tall. You're not gonna die if he's 5'7 -He can make less than $200k a year and still keep things afloat. Keep these in mind and you'll find yourselves a lot happier
Guilty of doing this. But the reason why I do this because, as a guy, I've lost the will to try. In the past I have messaged matches and they don't even respond, or respond once then stop [tinder]. Now that I get more likes and some few matches [hinge] I don't want to message them, for one, to avoid that hurt of putting myself out there only to get ignored even though we matched. And two, never really feeling excited about the set matches on there. I only like who I'm interested in, and never do that dumb thing about blindly swipimg right on all the girls there... I reflect that I've 'liked' PLENTY of girls on there, many who I'd def feel excited to interact with... but when I check the matches I feel very underwhelmed, like I child who unwrapps a present only to see a pair of socks and a sweater-vest, which are still a good gifts but they're not of any of those flashy cool toys I had on my wishlist LOL
Back when I was on dating apps I didn't have issues getting a steady stream of matches, but I was actually using the apps to meet marriage and family minded women. Reading topics from the dating subreddits you realize that a lot of these article speak in vacuums where context and nuance get thrown into a black hole. "Men swipe right for an ego boost" sounds like what a woman who has zero clue about the typical male experience on dating apps. Same with "Women have an easier experience on dating apps" being written by a guy who forces every women into the same category. I'd say dating apps are but one part of a bigger picture depicting a lonely, bitter, and hateful society. You have a company like Match which buys all competition and drive them into the ground(like with hinge) in an effort to make more money, namely off of lonely men. That translates into so many issue downstream that listing them with context would turn this comment into an essay.
One thing for sure is , due to modernization of society , we are losing the solely pure human interaction of dating culture. Dating apps , quickly destroyed the traditional dating culture , it feels like fast food chain just to quickly get a match. To be honest , I dont use dating apps, but I found this is already beyond the alarming rate.
I used to just swipe right (like) to most profiles and then see who matches with me. I then looked at my matches profiles and message the ones I liked, ignoring the rest. I did this because most women do not match anyway, so it's just pointless investing too much time studying any one profile.
As a dude who rarely messaged the women I matched with, the reasons always varied. No bio or limited bio gives nothing to start a conversation. Being told constantly by the internet that you need to have a good/clever/funny opening line and can’t just say “hey, how’re you?” (despite that being the most common opening line I’ve gotten from women on Bumble.) Once I asked a girl about her college major because it genuinely seemed interesting and her response was literally just a link to the Wikipedia article about that major. Conversation is often non-existent. People should just be open about what they’re looking for and humble themselves in general
I have not used dating apps in years, and when I did have them, I never had any right swipes. But meeting women in person has been completely different. I tell young guys all the time to grow a pair and learn how to talk/approach women in person. You need those pheromones going.
And when the girl turns you down, then labels you a creep or weirdo and then goes and whines about it on her friends or social media. It's not fear of women, it's fear of being treated like a criminal.
@@tyw2675If that wasn't the case, then 63% of men over thirty would not be single. I'm not saying that every single one in that group deserves someone, men and women have each played a role in creating the problems in modern dating, but men get bashed and women get overlooked.
I feel bad for people getting ghosted or whatever, but this is so funny to me. Imagine saying no to 90% of tinder and getting upset that the guy who 70% of women want, dont want to commit to some average person. Crazy! Who wouldve thought? Also i call bs on the woman take longer to send a message cause theyre more serious. It just takes 2 weeks for yall to get the courage to send a "hi" and guys are just trying to get the conversation started and see where it goes. This is comical but goodluck ladies, id say give an average guy a chance, but we already know yall just want to fight for the same guy who treats woman like trash cause they got 900 girls dming them each day
My dating experience has 100% changed in the last 5 years. I used to have a reasonable chance of matching with and meeting someone on an app, now its virtually impossible. Idk what changed, but it just does not happen for me now. I deleted them all because it was so hopeless and I was feeling so terrible about myself. Zero matches and zero hope.
The situation for men on tinder is even worse than for women. Apart from the obvious issue that beauty is the main attribute of this application. In addition, when I was using Tinder, the number of women who had more than pictures of their bodies on their profile was small. Also complaining that men only see a woman's body doesn't make sense when only women show it.
I generally don't care about ego or number of right swipes. The main thing for me is that I'm not into small talk, so it's hard to find a kick-off subject to start well a conversation, without knowing anything but the pictures she has uploaded. For example, if the girl is into parties and alcohol, I soon realize that she can't stay much on deeper subjects, she gets bored.
Sometimes I wonder where all the single women have gone. When I got to the gym its 80% dudes. when I go shopping it's only couples. Most women I've seen in one place are group fitness classes, and all of them are outside my age range. I don't go to clubs or parties either. I don't know how this is gonna work 😅
sooo thankful I walked away from dating apps. I'd love to see a video discussing the percentage of men on dating apps have encountered scam artists or gold diggers.
Very interesting article. I deleted all of my dating apps when I chose to take a temporary break from dating. If anything, I am glad that I did because I became less annoyed. That is, I no longer worried about getting matches or having to deal with women not responding to my initial message. Plus, most of the women I went on dates with were complete mismatches. Looking back, I had better success with dating women I met in-person than I did on the apps.
@@dougbarnowski5224 first and foremost, when I was actively dating, I knew that it was generally better (and preferable) to date women that I met in-person than on the apps. Part of the reason I used dating apps back then was because of how "popular" they were; yes, I will admit there was some peer-pressure factor involved. Second, you should consider using appropriate grammar if you want to maturely get your point across because "weve" and "dont" are not words, but "we've" and "don't" are words.
@@dianedemarco370 while I did not explicitly state this in my initial comment, I had better and more meaningful relationships with the women that I first met in-person. I think part of the reason why is that I had the chance to get to know them a little bit more so that I could summon the courage to ask them out on a date. Plus, it was a little easier to gage on whether there was chemistry. Very rarely did I have a relationship with the women that I first met on the apps mainly because things were rushed and it was a little more tricky to keep her interested.
For the short time I was on dating apps it really is your only option to swipe right on literally everyone hoping for ONE match. And then they never respond. I gave it maybe a couple months and realized it’s completely pointless and an outright scam
I think that a dating app could be designed that might work by severely limiting the number of interactions. Like for instance a woman could have three contacts and then she gets no more unless a man on the app reports that she had a date with him. If the date did not work out ok but at least she has to put in the effort before she receives any more matches. You could do the same for guys but give them perhaps a few more like maybe 5 simply because of the mismatch which is always found on dating sites.
Nice idea, but I don't think most men are willing to fork out date money every 5-10 matches. They can still go on competitor sites and see the success rate is much less than 10%. If a man really has the means, he can join a matchmaking service or become a passport bro instead. A matchmaking service will pre-qualify him for a large fee, and a plane ticket with a passport is cheaper. Also, a way to keep women on this new dating site is to set them up with unattractive men (according to her) who will pay for a first date. She gets free stuff and 3-5 more victims when she doesn't have any romantic interest in any of them.
@@pace1195 it could work out that way of course you could tweek the formula but the main thing is that it would be a site for people who are dating with a purpose and would eliminate the catfishing and the people who only want attention.
@@impudentdomain Fair enough. I don't think it will stop the foodie dates, but the ratios of serious daters to free stuff daters may be better. I don't know until the experiment is run.
When I was on Tinder about 2.5 years ago, I swiped with about a 30:1 left:right ratio so my matches were RARE. Yet when I did match, any resulting conversation was even more rare; the women just wouldn't communicate. It was the main reason I got fed up with it and deleted it forever. I just got tired of trying.
⚠WHAT?! It is so ridiculous that WOMEN would complain about their experience on dating apps!!! Create a man profile with photos of a very normal man and see what happens!🙄
I’m now in my 50s. I have no family, no kids, no parents, no close friends, and no love. Going back to the early 2000s I found that dating apps just didn’t work for me. The only thing I got out of dating apps was I’m not worth anything. Ironically, I’m an electrical engineer living in silicon valley, I own my own home in Silicon Valley, and I’m a musician. But I suppose that doesn’t matter. If I were to disappear tomorrow only the bill collectors would notice. It’s pretty clear that I don’t matter. I have no hope.
Of course women don't experience rejection the same way men do, they avoid putting themselves in that spot but they also cover up themselves with as much compression clothing as possible, padded bras, tons of industrial-grade makeup, plastic surgery, and filters for their pictures. How would the world be if women realized there are more women average and below-average than there are men average and below? I think more women vs men take SSRIs so there's also the copium
Interesting. Every now and then Tinder actually grants me a match. The women almost NEVER write first. If they do it's just some emoji or "hi" (which is fine for me since it at least shows some interest. But try to pull that as a man). But even worse: Most women dont even bother to respond when I write first. Not to some emoji, not to "hi", not to anything personal, funny, long, short, cocky whatever... So honestly, I don't even bother anymore. Congratulations, you broke it.
Like with everything else in life, apps benefit women more than men. They're exciting in the beginning........until you realise they do no more for you than if you see woman any other way:- work, gym, church, club, etc. Only women and Chads gain from apps.
First off, I love your work and videos Courtney!!! I've been on dating apps now for almost 3yrs, and in that time, I've probably only been on 3 dates??!!! I'm not a bad looking guy by any means, and it's true, women have waaaaayyyyy to many options... in hindsight, it's just not fair and yes it does a number on a person. I don't know what exactly more I need to do, but after a while, you just want to give up.. but I'm hanging in there!
I stopped using dating apps because when I give guys a chance, they change the conversation quickly from casual to asking inappropiate intimate questions. We may get more attention from men, but it's mostly the most inappropiate and uncomfortable attentions.
As a girl I quit online dating many…many years ago back in the OKCupid days 🤣. I think the moral of the story is if it’s making everyone miserable, then everyone should delete these apps and we should go back to good old fashioned IRL meeting and dating.
Women make themselves miserable on the apps by collectively choosing the same small percentage of men. For example, some stats from Bumble showed that 69% of women set a height requirement of 6 ft or taller. So that's almost 70% of women going for the 14% of men who are 6ft or taller...that's a 5 to 1 ratio. That makes nobody happy except that small percentage of men who get to pump and dump a series of women.
Hi Courtney, I've watched quite a few of your videos, but only decided to subscribe when you stated that society has changed in the last 5 years. I am in complete agreement with this...and don't think it's necessarily for the better. Anyway, just thought it may help your marketing strategy
Courtney; With regards to Women's takes on dating apps, the dating scene and their takes on Men that go viral on social media, Tik-Tok and RUclips , as a general soft rule, it might be helpful to apply the following lens when women say the word "Men". What women really seem to mean is "The Men I'd consider an 'option'" or "the Men I'd bother with". Women are frustrated on the dating apps because if they aren't just there for validation, then it's basically a big eDive Bar chock full of what they would consider losers. And if Women are just there for hook-ups, flings and situationships, then of course they're going to be frustrated.... Because then they're trying to date like Men do, and there's A LOT of rejection in that space.
Yeah Courtney called it in the first minute. Women complaining about a double standard they do to men all the time..its like I always say. They have no issues rejecting men but those are the same women who can't handle rejection themselves...
Happy Sunday Courtney ❤! It would be better if both men and women can go out and talk to people in person and less on their phones while walking and less dating apps
A long time ago when I was on apps I’d swipe right on everyone without even looking at them because it was so rare to get matches that it wasn’t worth my time to look at them unless I matched. About 6 years ago I was actually able to meet some attractive women on apps but they were crazy and most only wanted me for a hookup. I’ve been single the last two years and I look better than I ever have but it’s a barren wasteland on apps now so I’m no longer wasting time or money on them. Younger women are starting to find me attractive now and I’m going back to college at 35 so that might be interesting. I think since ppl ruined online dating they’re very hesitant and distant but they’re very slowly starting to circle back to talking to ppl in person.
Appreciate you looking at it from a logical perspective instead of just saying that all men need to stop this behavior. I myself am pretty selective when it comes to swiping on dating apps. And I typically always message/respond to whoever I match with. However, I know in general men use more of a shotgun approach. They'll then take their matches and then dig deeper into the profiles to look for red flags. It's possible some of these women are getting matches because they are physically attractive, but something in their profile might make those men think twice.
Courtney, I think it’s better to meet people in person. Sometimes the men with average looks might be the better husbands over the guys that most women want. The top 1% men have many options so if they have the opportunity to cheat some of them would.
I’ve never dated at 27 but it’s crazy I’ve come insanely close and honestly would have succeeded if I was more confident 3 different times in person. I hardly get out of the house besides work yet on dating apps I’d say I haven’t come close once in 7 years
My experience is this is true. I've managed to go with 8s and 9s several times from meeting them in person, but I could count on one hand the amount of 8s and 9s I've even matched with on an app, much less been able to land a date with. Apps are optimal only for 9-10 men who can use them to have their pick of anyone and everyone. They're purpose built to keep people from commitment.
But meeting people in person would require actually going outside, touching grass, and smelling air. Ain't nobody trying to go outside in 2023 when it's easier to cry on RUclips and be a victim.
Mine has certainly changed. I was exactly the guy you were describing: Tons of matches and rarely sent any messages. The next person was always going to be better than the last. I also really didn’t care about getting to know anyone, so I learned how to create a profile that was really attractive to women in general, rather than the women I like. Now, I am on two apps in hopes of actually meeting someone, so I’ve written things I would never have written before. For example, I don’t drink and would prefer someone who is, at least, primarily on the sober side. Amongst other things of a similar nature. Matches down to almost zero.
Women go after the same type of man expecting a different result, getting pissed when all they want is casual then say all men are garbage. Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result. Also, just because a hot millionaire wants to have sex with you, does not mean you deserve that type of guy for a relationship. Women think its such a flex that so many hot men want to sleep with her. Lmao
Oh I definitely enjoy the ego-boost of women choosing me and messaging me. I don't use Tinder or Bumble but I do enjoy the attention. At least with me I have the experience and the knowledge to handle these kinds of waters, even as a short guy
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Short-term gratification brought about by swiping left on men results in women getting that ego boost on having rejected a guy on an app. That boost and gratification vanishes pretty quickly when top-tier guys don't give them the time of day, as it should be.
Amen
There are regularly posts on the Bumble sub-reddit of women complaining and raging about men giving them boring, short answers and not really asking anything back. Its like yea the guy you matched with has tons of matches and you weren't at top so he is giving the hotter girls more attention. Those posts usually end up turning into circle jerks about how men suck at conversations or whatever else.
The mentally ill, will always expose themselves.
@@CourtneyRyan Misery enjoys company.
@@CourtneyRyan Great, American dating culture has become even more superficial.
Imagine being on a platform that is literally meant to inflate your ego... only to crush it when you don't get the response you want. To me, it's about time peoples egos finally got brought down because all of this ego inflation is getting sickening.
When I was younger I would boost my ego by going to the gym and benching 280 pounds. Or I would throw on a pair of boxing gloves and spare with my friends. I don't get what the appeal is of swiping on tinder to boost your ego.
@@Dav7737 steroids work
@@joshuaortiz2031Rather do steroids and lift over wasting time on a dating app for self-esteem.
Wait until they hit the wall bro they're getting brought down either way
@@AlexanderSkinnerVids that's not a justification to harass someone
Dating apps were making 95% of men miserable from the beginning. In fact dating was making 95% of men miserable from the beginning.
Yeah but nobody cares about men. Remember lmaoo
👏
👏 women are to expensive I'm not going to date an American woman who will just make me pay, expect me to support them, and then divorce me, and take all my cash and make me pay child support, even though she makes as much as me. This exact scenario happened to a friend of mine and he wasn't even twenty six.
That’s why I literally deleted my dating apps, I just wasn’t getting any matches like before I met my ex girlfriend. I met my ex on an app about 7 years ago, but now it’s like it literally died down. I had pretty decent pictures and short and funny bio about myself. Yes, I’ve matched with one or two, and messaged back and forth, but not constantly and didn’t want to move to text messaging. Right before deleting them, I thought I would expand my search to Brazil and the Philippines and let me tell you, I got a lot of matches, but I wanted to connect with girls in my area.
I went through life confused about why most of women's dating complaints and the the generalizations they'd make about men were contrary to what I knew about myself. At first, I thought it was a good thing - _I don't cheat or disrespect women or ignore them for days, so they'll definitely want me..._ Eventually, however, I discovered that the reality underlying this contradiction is that I am simply irrelevant. My behavior has no impact on my results because I don't even qualify for consideration.
Correct, their complaints about men are really only about the top 10% of men they want. The other 90% aren't on their radar.
Courtney, dating apps are making women miserable? What? Men like me already lost their mind back in 2019 because of these apps.
I was thinking the same thing!
It makes them miserable, it makes men frustrated...😂
2019? Phhtttt. More like 2009.
Average chicks think butter can't melt in their mouth. Then you got girls from the planet ego and built like it too. Can't make this shit up.
Women have more options than they've ever had and all they can do is whine about it. It's like hitting the powerball and bitching about not knowing what to do with all the money.
Somebody pull out the small violin for these women. I can say as a guy that dating apps are a true waste of time and you're better off going out into the real world and talking to women. Most women on dating apps just want to see how much validation they can get from men, while the guys they really want don't want them back.
Yea I don't belive in using dating apps. It's dehumanizing, to see people sell them selves like a grocery store ad.
Makes me feel like another product on store shelf just thinking bout it...
Exactly and most of them are scams or gold diggers
💯
lol
On dating apps nobody is willing to pay more extra just to message someone to be left on read or not bother opening the message.
A lot of the messages you get are from bots created by the site to encourage subscriptions.
You can actually request a Refund ;)
Exac.
That’s 90% of guys on apps, no responses at all regardless of what you pay for
Unfortunately people are and they need to stop. It’s ruining it for everybody.
I am a Men and I just DELETED them last week. I downloaded other Apps (Not Tinder) and they are all the same. MATCHES and yet they don’t write you back, they just collect matches for validation as usual.
It’s exhausting tbh. Women saying Men are doing this to them is pure BS. I am 100% sure they get messages every day.
Duh.
Men are plural, you are a man not a men
@@CarlosAugustoMendozaSanchez I know, i didn't wanted to fix it to see which grammar Nazi would show up. You didn't disappoint.
@@powerhouse884😂😂😂😂😂
The company that owns Tinder also owns ALL the other dating apps on the market. Not surprising
I think that "mass swiping" for men (at least average men) is probably the only viable strategy to get a handful of matches over a few months. Sadly, I've done that and essentially just gone out with "whomever is left." That kind of mass rejection feeds on itself and in short order you'll be taking out girls you don't even find mildly attractive... just to get that reassurance that someone out there thinks you're at least worthy of speaking to (or perhaps, worthy of buying them dinner).
Interestingly, I don't think of those "less than attractive" women I took out found me attractive (at least I've never had a follow up). So we have 2 people, nobody is interested... Both going out for no real reason at all. LOL! It truly is amazing.
Looks are only part of the equation. I have found myself to be very attracted to a woman who I thought was kind of plain looking at first, not ugly just not someone who didn't really stand out. And once I got to know them, know their personality and I got to see the entire package come together I was really into them. So that's why I swipe right more then I don't because I don't judge a book by its cover anymore. I'm genuinely interested in getting to know women who I might have never given chance if I was just obsessed with looks. I would rather be with someone who's a 7 that I have a genuine connection with then a 10 who is boring AF
@@joshuaortiz2031 Yeah, I don't mind that. I'd date a below average chick. Like, if you're vaguely feminine I can work with it. That's the thing. Even bottom feeding 3's and 4's, the girls seem uninterested. I've been trying to figure out if that was a "foodie call" thing or they truly just have so many options I can't compete. Granted, I suppose I could be hideously ugly, but I'm not overweight... 5 11", and not disfigured. Just very "average." Sadly, that doesn't appear to be enough to even bottom feed successfully from my experience. Only options I possibly have are essentially female sumo wrestlers that outweigh me by a fair margin. But I haven't tried that out yet, so even they may hate me. LOL!
@@joshuaortiz2031 You make a fair point, but your range of 7-10 makes that point valid. 7s who are cute but not stunning are still objectively attractive. When the range drops to like 4-7, and your only chance of getting responses is from the 4s and 5s, and if a guy is a 6 or 7, that stops being true. Physical attractiveness isn't everything, but it's foolish to think it isn't important, and having to downgrade noticeably below your own attractiveness level is demoralizing. The problem is there are many men in the 6-8 range who have slim chances of landing anyone in their own range, because the disproportionate amount of men/women on apps coupled with women's hypergamy has left all those women in the 6-8 range vying for the few 9-10 men, plus the 9-10 women they're competing against. The outcome of this is there are going to be a lot of both men and women in that 6-8 range in their 30s who, mathematically, ought to have found each other, but because the women only wanted to date up, all parties will be left lonely. It's easy to sound pissy, but most of the problems in the modern dating world are women's poor grasp on reality and unrealistic expectations. It's not men expecting some fantasy partner who exists only in their imagination, it's women.
@@zipperpig calling it bottom feeding is pretty dehumanizing. I honestly hate the whole 1-10 rating scale people use to judge women's looks. What people find attractive is still subjective for the most part. I actually prefer girls who many might not find very attractive I have my own tastes I like what many would call a butter face which means average face with a nice voluptuous feminine body. I don't like women who have super model faces I have been with my fair share of those and many of them are stuck up, lack humility and the way they are used as objects in advertising has conditioned me to see them as commercial products which is gross. They don't look like real people to me. Real people have imperfections. I have always been into the girl next door look I'll take that any day over someone who is on the cover of a sports illustrated swimsuit magazine. If you have any hobbies you should just try to find a woman who shares those hobbies and be her friend first that has worked for me. As a man, friend zoning a girl only makes them want you more because you don't come off as a desperate thirsty fool. That is the ugliest thing to a woman.
I have stopped shy of actually asking those women out so I'm not wasting either party's time. Once I realized my options were "whomever is left," I just checked out. I'm not wasting my money on dinner and dates, fully knowing I'm never going to want a relationship with them, no matter how great their personality is. If I don't find someone the least bit sexually attractive, I'm not going to want to have a family with them. Why bother going on a date if you already know that's the end result? There's nothing to learn, at least nothing useful.
This shouldn't be so surprising.
I remember reading in a book called Self Made Man by the late author Norah Vincent where she pretended to be a man that one of the revelations she had was the amount of rejection men recieve from women and how soul crushing it can be.
Yeah and she suffered depression and social anxiety after that experiment
@@ennjaychannel Hence why she had herself voluntarily committed the experience of which led to her second book Voluntary Madness.
I can't say for sure, but I think it also led to her euthanizing herself last year.
@@IronmanV5 she most likely couldn't handle the rejection men face. Every day. Multiplied by the fact that she feels guilt for how her gender treats men, AND the fact that she still treats them like that anyway may have pushed her over the edge. Figuratively speaking. RIP.
@@machupikachu1085 It wasn't just guilt, she was also a lesbian and facing the reality of how women pick a partner made her hate women despite being one herself.
Wow, that's insane ... :O
It’s hard to have much sympathy for women on dating apps. A plethora of options is way better than having no options at all, which is what the majority of men have on dating apps.
Typo?
@Bloodcurling No, just poor sentence structure, most likely.
@lukeyboy5385yeah, tough to even consider those options when choosing one would ruin your life. When the girl is 5 inches shorter than me, she probably shouldn’t be 50-100 pounds heavier than me…also I’m not big into tattoos and hoes on dating apps are absolutely covered in them. Plus, I don’t even want to think about what their p***y has been through, it’s got to look like an uncleaned Petri dish that has had hundreds of different bacteria growing in it for decades. NOPE!
We have quantity and men have quality. We don't want shit men. Get over it.
@lukeyboy5385 🧢 Even they.dont respond. 😂
I quit all dating apps over 3 years ago.
Same woman over and over again, same unrealistic expectations, almost all of them were single mothers, too many drunks and the vast majority used OLD MISLEADING pics
The misleading pics thing is infuriating. I matched with a girl two years ago who looked really cute in all her pics. Healthy, but not exactly "fit." Turn up on a coffee date and the "Covid pounds" looked to be about 40 lbs. more than any of her pictures. It's one thing to have some older pics and you may have a few extra pounds or slightly different hair, but when you have that big a gap between your advertisement and your product, it's inexcusable. Went for coffee and never responded after. That kind of deceit tells a lot about a person.
Exactly I was single. Then married for the better part of a decade. Went back on. Same girls.
Same here...I actually went back on a couple times throughout the years and I see the SAME women on there...They dont want to meet anyone or only the top tier men...They are their own worst enemy!!!! The last date I had on there, she was 15 pounds overweight from her pictures and you can tell she was just grilling me about how much I made etc. She was 41 and honestly thought she was hot shit!! Let these women die alone with their cats!!
Facts
@@Mattock5656same women on there because the dating site can legally keep using their profile long after it’s expired. They did it to me.
I don't do social media. The thing is you're judging a book by its cover. The person looks good in photos and has as good profile. How do you know if that person is honest about his / her profile? You don't really know until you meet this person.
So true Court!
How do you meet the person? If you never match, send a reply, agree to meet, or skip out on dates; when do you find out how honest a person is from their profile?
I know women want a man who is pre-qualified before they agree to a date. However, women are not getting dates from traditional places anymore: work, school, family, friends, activities, etc. They are meeting on dating apps or in bars/restaurants.
France is stepping up and calling out the use of filters.
@@tacticaltruthteller Banning filters is not going to prevent only 5% of men from getting all the attention. It will just make it easier for those men to sort out the women who match with them.
Women getting rejected by the top men won't make them more likely to continue to use the apps. Women are more sensitive to rejection than men.
@pace1195 Where do you get this 5% stat from?
Provide the source. Show me facts. Show me data.
I don't care about anything except for people being their true authentic selves online and in real life.
A filter is a lie.
Makeup is a lie.
Plastic surgery is a lie.
Banning filters is a step in the right direction.
It must just make a more honest person out of an otherwise delusional liar.
Join the club
Right lol
@CourtneyRyan yeah honestly, no one cares about young male suicides, now the female equivalent is on the rise. Empathy gap, and women can try to close it. What more can most men do who are already doing everything they possibly can to "work on themselves". Women reap what is sowed? Why should we have empathy after being mocked and ridiculed as incels for so long when they only want one thing anyways.
Probably the worst part about dating apps, or among the worst, is how little effort they encourage or cultivate. If you actually bother to groom yourself, dress well, and go out with intention (to put your best foot forward and meet people), that effort will be more rewarding than bumming around the house flicking your finger left and right on a phone app, that costs nothing to download and just copies your social media photos and profile.
I initially liked the idea of Tinder because it meant I could connect with women I wouldn't have met in person otherwise. But now it seems like, especially since COVID, apps and the internet are starting to substitute real life connections and give some people an excuse to isolate/create a buffer against actually having to try in dating and in life, and it's leaving a lot of us much worse off.
I'd say another problem is, this has made women not want to be approached irl anymore. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to talk to a girl only to have them tell me "if I wanted a guy to talk to me I'd be on a dating app."
@@CYBER_FunkER Exactly. Everyone's saying "just go outside" Like I've tried that it's just as bad. It's like people don't expect that the internet has any effect on the real world or something. It's so weird.
Oh, it must be terrible having hundreds of potential partners reach out to you for you to select from 😐. Imagine if they only got a few matches and no one ever messaged them first and they always had to reach out to the men first....then they'd know how miserable it can be.
Breaking news: women get exactly what they wanted, conclusion? Women most affected
They might get 100s, but how many are husband material?
@@JimKittell6486 probably at least 1%. Do the math on that one...
You wouldn't last a day as a woman. Not only do we have to sift through you garbage men, we have to worry about our safety.
And when they reach out to them they probably aren't going to get a response back. When they finally set a date up the likelihood that she'll flake is 50/50.
Most women I've known usually do not have the dilema of finding someone. +85% biggest challenge will be finding the RIGHT one. Sadly I've watched several individuals waste years of their young lives going for the "challenges". It's a sick history that constantly repeats itself, and dating apps aren't helping.
My favorite thing about dating sites is how when you get DM'd by women, they usually say something clever like, "Hey"; sans punctuation cuz that's too much effort. I feel less like I'm talking to someone who wants to know me, and more like they are bored and want someone to entertain and/or validate them.
My experience with dating apps were putrid to say the least. Even overweight single moms that were 3’s at best rejected me. My mental health deteriorated so much that I had to quit because of the ghosting and rejection was never ending with no end in sight
Even the ones u didn't really like rejected u lol
I shit you not, even a woman who is a 3 will get more attention than a good looking guy online. All these apps are so toxic. They're a great source of validation and an ego boost for women but not good for men whatsoever.
I tried the whole dating app thing, but I didn’t get a single match or response. I found myself swiping right on most profiles and slowly felt myself spiral into hopelessness with every rejection. So I wisely gave up on dating apps. I now avoid dating apps like the plague they are. Unfortunately, I don’t get any better results in real life.
....... do you, see a connection there pal?
You don't mention your age, but you're invisible until mid - late 20s when you're stable, decent apt/house & car, solid career. Men usually peak (most desirable) 30 - 40+.
If it's not working, go overseas/south to a non-Western country, avoid big cities. Those women are born and raised to be feminine wives desiring a family. See Passport Bros and Filipina Pea. Study the culture and laws before venturing forth.
Divorce is terrifying, but it's got nothing to do w/luck, it's your (and partner) skills in nurturing the relationship. The two key skills: 1) total, open, honest communication; 2) no fighting--this is simple: "we have a problem, how do we solve it?". What does it matter who's right/wrong, the problem still needs solving.
The winner of a fight is the one who loses the least. WTF?!?. How do you win by losing?
There's nothing remotely close to the satisfaction and fulfillment of a strong marriage with children. Our biological need is to protect and provide for a family, which this is, to the max. What you get from raising a family, knowing you did it, is beyond your wildest dreams.
This is a wonderful 1/3 century-long marriage talking.
@PaperRaines what are you trying to get at exactly. Don't tell me you're about to white knight for modern delusion
@gankdalfthedank9855 nah its just most guys do kinda suck.
I have decent results for play but finding someone who is in the realm of normalcy for long term aka isn’t a 40 year old acting like a 13 year old or a sorority girl or who isn’t saddled with an addictive personality. For starters. Is a challenge.
Of line where do you meet? I’m not approaching a girl in the gym. That’s creepy and I’m definitely not getting a hold rat from a local bar.
I'll translate that headline. "Female 6-8s aren't getting the attention they want from the 9-10 men, and are miserable at the notion they might have to relegate themselves to men on their own attractiveness level who will actually respond."
I have basically checked out of dating and the apps because of these problems. I've been on plenty of dates with very attractive women (7-9s), but these days the only active likes I get are from women I, frankly, find repulsive (I'm talking like 2-3s in attractiveness). I'd rather be alone than be ashamed of my date. I know I'm not alone in this feeling, and we're going to see a LOT of men and women in their 30s being permanently single because of this disconnect between women's expectations and reality. This attitude of "if I can't land a 10, then I'm not playing" is going to make a lot of very unhappy women, and will make the rest of society equally unhappy.
Actually having the attitude of choosing to be single and find your own happiness instead of settling for someone you don’t really want and trying to make them fit into your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. That means less divorces and less single mothers/fathers. Relationships are not meant to be draining and a burden.
Kevin Samuels called them... The Eternal 7s
Water everywhere but none to drink.
But you have the exact same attitude. You are not willing to date someone you are not attracted to and neither are the women you complain about.
You sound like someone who hasn't touched grass in five years.
@@Exodus26.13PiKevin Samuels was ugly himself and died a single divorced father.
It isn’t tinder making women miserable, it is women making women miserable. Pick a decent guy, stay loyal to him, burn your other options and stop waiting for a giga Chad to give you attention. Y’all are ridiculous. Plenty of decent hardworking men out there who would treat you right but you gotta hold out as long as possible for what you consider to be your best option. It’s like being unable to pick something on Netflix simply because there’s so many options and before you know it the time to watch something has passed and it’s bed time. Except in this case bed time equates to middle age lonliness.
What you men aren’t getting is we don’t NEED you. That’s why women are not bothering to pursue relationships unless the man is special and truly adds something to our life. We don’t want to date someone just to date someone.
@@becca53444This whole women don't need men thing is just such OBVIOUS horsecrap. Women who go on into their years without a man become increasingly neurotic and insane. Women need men and men need women, this whole issue of feminism "The two sexes are the same and interchangeable" is complete marxist nonsense to destroy civilizations.
@@becca53444no matter how much a man does for self improvement even if he's successful and has decent money, it is never enough to satisfy your kind of women. Juts not happening. In all fairness I wouldn't want a woman with that kind of attitude either just to save myself from constant headaches and the opportunity to euthanize myself
@@becca53444unless if the man is special and adds something to your life. Most have and still do but you see, the thing is, the requirements that the majority of you have does not apply to most men let alone the average men. History has already and made it clear that men are the ones who mostly provide and construct for the benefit of humanity for safety, protection, security and leisure. Appreciation and courtesy just doesn't always seem to be presented for those who dedicated their time, effort and energy, blood and sweat sacrificed to preserve historical features and to save current and future generations. When some of you women say you don't need men, think about this, imagine if all men went away for a trip to a different planet that's habitable for a few days whilst leaving all women on earth, things would have been light years far apart by the time men return to earth.
Women don't actually settle with Chad though. Chad ends up 42 and alone and crying about how he can't find a good "traditional" woman that will be okay with being the 200th person that's shared his dick. Because Chad is and never was capable of understanding that no woman with sense wants to end up with the community dick for life. Chad's role in life is being the pass around. Conversely, entitled red pill incels who mask themselves as "good guys" have fucked up the game for all of us that really are good guys. So it's not enough anymore to tell a woman "hey, I'm not like some of these other dudes" because too many people have fucked shit up. Then there's the losers who've had their "hearts broken" that say fuck all women and become the baggage of everyone they fuck and throw away, which then makes women go "all guys are trash!"
As a man, from my point of view, i swipe a lot on cute and above girls, so maybe like 50% because i want to give everyone a chance and let character be the defining factor. Women on the other hand seem shallow as f**k and just swipe on the best looking guys and then get into "situationships" . I really feel no sympathy for women that dig their own grave.
Also i'm 35 so i've dated quite a lot in my lifetime, things changed to much in the last 5 years it's unbelievable
Got married recently to a girl I met off of match 2 years ago. So far, so good. I’m glad I’m out of the game, because it’s horrific.
I did notice that by the end, women were far more interested in me than they used to be.
@@hornetguy9063 good for you man, hope she's worth it
@@hornetguy9063 Congrats and best of luck man. Just remember: Stay grounded and in charge. If you simp for her she WILL leave you. No one respects someone who kisses their ass.
Cheers!
Imagine a dating app that requires you to select an explanation as to why you rejected someone before you can move on to the next profile. And your rejection data accumulates, and is visible to everyone who sees your profile.
this is actually brilliant. You could be the one to make it? I would use this honestly because i could use it for self improvement and everyone else would be subject to a totally reasonable quid pro quo compared to the nightmare we currently have to deal with on tinder and whatnot.
I am very old school. I think dating apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and Facebook are making people miserable if this keeps happening with the matching but no talking. Seriously, I like meeting in person, catching the vibe and seeing where it really goes. I hope that in the future it gets better for sure for BOTH SIDES. And ladies, get rid of your filters. Guys don't think it's attractive in anyway. We want to see and know the Real You. 😊
Only those who are already lost in life would even consider using a dating app..
The "real you" is not good enough to get matched for over 95% of men on dating apps.
@@pace1195 The 5% is all you need for your true love. Always believe in yourself and know that if they don't accept you for who you truly are, then they are NOT YOUR SOULMATE, period. You are only beautiful if you truly believe it. Fuck what ever else people think. They are ignorant.
@@pace1195 But why on earth do you even want to be matched with these broken and shallow women is that really something to aim for??
I will do my best to FIX this in a few years.
Excellent analysis as always. I would add that there are so many more men on apps as its become a "safe" way to meet women. In IRL there's a huge danger of being called a "creep" for "having the nerve to...", while women have turned to online dating the same way they would shop on amazon. Why go through the touble of meeting in IRL when the next date is just a swipe away.
The topic is very interesting indeed there. You have told essence of these apps. That's for full respect Courtney 👏👏👏👏👏👏.
As a man, I can say some things about these apps. Now some of you may call me that I'm an old fashion guy, but I prefer it that way, because of the safety of myself (bu I don't care even if you write down some hating comments, or if you put dislikes on my comments, cause you're helping me getting more views, suggestions, recommendations, etc.). Let me say that I don't use these meeting apps. Why? Because I'm concerned for my safety. I've reed in some newspapers long time ago that one guy asked for meeting with one girl. What happened was that the guy was kidnapped, and he was held for 3 to 4 days locked. And the kidnappers asked ransom for this guy. Of course they drag out time so that the kidnappers could somehow be apprehended. But after 4 days, the guy somehow got free from the kidnappers, and he escaped to house next door, where was police contacted, and kidnappers were arrested. My point here is that the bad thing of social media, and dating apps is that some of them are making us feel lonely. Sad, but it's true.
Also, I have mentioned in some of your videos that some of them asked me to send them gift cards (or credit cards), but they didn't accept to be seen somewhere in public. And you can see that this is a red flag saying that you have to put the bad people away, and to stop contact with them.
Social medias can be used as advertising yourself, your work, your hobbies, companies etc, cause they are some kind of visit cards (let's call it that way). What I meant to say is this: "The social medias, and some apps are good servants, but they are also bad masters." Like it or not, that's the thing. Sad but true.
Also I might add this thing as well. I mentioned it a couple of times in one of your videos Courtney. And that is: "The problem of the lonely man did not arise yesterday. This problem has been around since the very existence of humanity, with the fact that the topic was not given enough attention as it is now."
For me, a better way of using dating apps (let's call it that way) is to go somewhere in public. For example to go to gym, to go to library, to fencing course, going to hobby shows of model kits, lessons in playing musical instruments, etc., where you can meet people, and maybe your soulmate. Meaning to say is don't use these social medias, and apps for meeting people. That would be a better suggestion that you should all go out, and it will work. And is the better way to socialize. Just give it a try, and you'll see the results.
The color of the nails goes well with the color of the ring, with the pattern of the dress and with your beautiful smile 👏👏👏👏👏👏.
La perfection madam ❤💙🤍.
Look up "How Couples Met" by Statista. While it didn't have fencing classes listed, the places most couples meet are dating apps and bars. This was published in 2017. How much worse is it post-pandemic?
Something tells me model kits are not a women dominated hobby. I already know how to play an instrument, and the choir I sing in is almost entirely a generation older than me. Finally, have you seen the gym videos of women complaining about creepy men? Unless you are going to the library to meet a drag queen, your suggestions on where to meet people is severely lacking.
Dating apps are making EVERYONE miserable. Well, maybe except "the top 5% guys". As a guy that would rate himself little over average, decent looking, working out, earning good money, I get about a match a month, and I would say 9/10 matches either never respond, or unmatch me mid conversation. I am aware that women are flooded with options, and most of them are poor options, so its bad for everyone. However, having options, even if most are bad, is better than having none
dating is the problem
A bad woman can turn your life into a nightmare. You would be better off alone.
Yes, women swipe and hope to chat with about 2% of men on the apps. These men have tons of attention and reinforce many of the generalized views of men. I dont have time to read every profile, especially when so few coversations/dates actually occur for me. I swipe anyone who looks attractive to me. Once there is a match i will read their profile and if it doesnt look like a good fit I will delete or not message. Nobody wants to spend hours each day on these things, or phones in general.
Really? Girls walk around looking at their phones all day lol.
I met my wife on tinder, apparently that was before tinder got really bad 😂
I can assure you, men are not on dating apps for validation. We’re trying to make things happen.
Are you sure about that?
…because I’ve noticed that some of them act like idiots.
😂…no “shade”, I’m just saying. 🤷🏻♀️
@@ExoticalT369 Yes, guys often say foolish things on dating apps, but trust me, they want to meet up with you and make things happen.
True, but women only focus on those they know, they don't have a shot with and blame the rest of us for it. 😂
@@ExoticalT369 well if u go after guys that are way out of ur league what do u expect to happen?
@@deeptangshusarkar8868
Um. I’m a girl, I don’t “go after” guys, then come after me.
👸🏻
I no longer use dating apps. I got my passport and I’m only dating foreign women when I go overseas now. This is a permanent change for me. So far they are more humble, friendlier, in better health, less materialistic, easier to talk to, have less hideous tattoos, and are less racist. I’m happier than I’ve been in years. I’m planning to sell my business and just move abroad within 2 years. I just thank god I don’t have kids here.
I’m so tired of the hate culture this society has. This political party hates that political party. This race hates that race. This gender hates that gender. Also, more & more people are confused about their role in nature. I’m all the way over it..
Where do you plan on moving? I've been thinking of doing something similar. Nice GTO btw. I'm a car guy as well.
Our role is what we decide it is.
Gender roles aren't really relevant anymore now that we live in a service based industry.
Right.
@@JennthegreenNot true, the further we stray from our natural roles the worse off a society is. Ignore natural law and the natural division of labor and society shall collapse in its demographics
@@GigaNietzsche that's simply untrue.
Ignoring that hurts every man that enjoys hobbies and tasks that he might be really good at, for what the societal expectations are.
You say it's worse,
Well, we have lower crime rates, lower divorce rates.
The more evenly divided the work in the home, the more likely that the marriage will last.
My husband enjoys cooking and enjoyed very much caring for our children when I was at work.
I don't understand why gender roles are that important.
We have mind of our own. Doing things based on what others think, is not going to lead to a happy life.
Matter of fact.
Stay at home moms report the highest amount of depression and use of antidepressants.
So that alone proves that women need purpose outside the home in TODAY'S society.
I used to use dating apps, then I realized they were making me broke, getting one date every five months or more. And that was only after I gave up being picky. It started out I'd only select the girls I thought were pretty and relatable. Then I started selecting only the women who were relatable. Then I started selecting all the fat girls that were okay'ish looking. Then I started selecting the pill poppers and reefer smokers. Then I started selecting absolutely every girl on multiple sites without any standards in mind whatsoever, just so I could go on dates twice a year with a total grab bag of crazy.
Standards should never be dropped
The main objective should be to not waste time and effort, if that means no dates then so be it
🤣🤣🤣🤣
When I got to step 2 in your list, I realized what I was doing and uninstalled them all. I haven't been on them in years. My mental health is far better for it. Do the things you enjoy. Life is so much better.
One should never date out of desperation. That's not healthy at all!
@@justacoginthefkeryoh yeah getting to a place where your just trying to increase your probability of a match. And still get none. It's the apps, the people that only focused dating through the apps as their only avenue to experience dating. Apps took all the romance and fun right out of the dating game. Smh😊
I remember a study that said that 80% of women are chasing 20% of the guys (the 9's and 10's). Those guys are bombarded with opportunities, and a lot of women are going to go unanswered.
Women need to understand:
Just because "Chad" swiped right on you, and/or used your hole...it doesn't mean he likes you.
Let alone loves you or wants commitment
Then he needed to be up front about it, and maybe get a new hobby.
@@KayetteHave you ever known assholes to do the right thing?
@@Kayettewhy? It would be the right thing to do but it is also the “right thing to do” to at least say “not interested” rather than merely ignore or ghost someone, something I’ve found very common among woman. And not just the “Stacy’s” or whatever you want to call the female equivalent of Chad.
@@Kayetteyou sound bitter. Have you been burned by a Chad?
One social meet up group I attended lately, one of the guys there told me he sadly didn't get his very first girlfriend until he was 30, while he is happy about having a girlfriend now, he still gets kind of depressed and bitter and resentful over having been single that long. Feels he didn't grow up having a normal youth because of being single that long.
He has the mindset that he feels if he had been born a woman at least an average plain-looking woman, then there is a guarantee he would not have been alone or single that long.
Yet people think men still have the better end of the stick in the dating world than women do, especially when men are far more likely than women are to be single that long or to have a lonely journey.
fuck, thats going to be me soon
Just turned 31 and never had one
@@Cyrus992 why do I get the feeling you're a normal-looking guy
I'll say this, I have been on tinder and bumble since about 2017 so 6 years, and I have never not one single time met a woman in person from the dating apps
Also 6 years. I've met 2 women in person. People act like 2 to 3 matches a week is the low end.
Unfortunately you're not in the top 10%. And probably not the top 50% either. Best thing you can do is delete the apps. And buy a gym membership. Increase your sexual market value. You can't change your face. But you can change your body. Also focus on your goals. Find success. And the women will find you
@@bikwah90 Right?! 🤷♂
Same here.
I was on all of them, paid, for two years, zero phone numbers, and zero meetups
The way that dating has changed for me. I can't find a woman that isn't dating several men at the same time. I get called "preference" or "preferred boyfriend", but they don't care if I leave to go find someone else because they already have their options set up, and replace me in an instant. Even though they are "looking" for their ride or die, they will never settle for good.
Tinder makes me depressed, and I have to regulate my time on there. I rarely get a match (maybe one a week and that's good), and if I do, the converstation lasts about a day at best until they ghost me. I almost always reply to matches, and I'm the one that has to break the ice. I reply quickly because I swiped on them for a reason! I want a date with someone like me. In all my conversations, Im the last one on read. I have a whole inbox that says you: "...". Ego boost? I don't think so. I fall into the 80%.
The article suggests that women are dpressed because the 20% man (actually attracted to) doesnt have time for them, and they are flooded by those who they don't want. It's dpressing for both.
Yuck. Sounds like a great way to pick up speed bumps.
My experience has only gotten worse. The women in my age range have higher standards while offering a lesser product. Even using a matchmaker was a waste as I became the source of free meals for dates and the matchmaker dismissed my concerns and preferences. At this point I’m hoping for the hard times to correct the imbalance in society.
If your matchmaker dismissed your concerns, that’s a bad situation.
Please understand that there is nothing wrong with realistic standards. IMO, the best standards are values based. There is a huge difference between I want a woman who looks hot in a bikini and I want a woman who eats right and exercises. One is valued based, the other is not.
I don’t know where you’re meeting the women you’re dating, but you may need to look in other places. Tell friends and family that you’re looking for a girlfriend or wife.
Become the best version of yourself. Do you have any goals for the next five years of your life? I’m not necessarily talking about marriage. Do you have financial goals? Do you have educational goals? Do you have plans for travel? For your career? For your health?
Use inexpensive first dates as a way to weed out the gold diggers. Suggest meeting for coffee or taco Tuesday at a Mexican restaurant. Go to breakfast or brunch.
Please keep a positive attitude about women. That will make it easier to find the right one.
I ended a three year relationship almost a year ago. After that relationship ended, I modified the values I had on my “husband I have” list. (Yes, I’m a woman.). I’ve used my past relationships to influence what values I want my husband to possess.
I have told people that I want to get married. I recently made a five year plan that has multiple areas of my life I can improve. I 100% believe in inexpensive first dates. Unless you have known someone for years, a lot of money shouldn’t be invested in the first few dates. If a woman can’t handle that, that’s her problem, not yours. (I have a long list of inexpensive date ideas. Thanks Pinterest.)
I keep a positive attitude about men. Just because a few men messed up doesn’t mean all men are messed up.
BTW, I have a friend who wants a man to kill the bugs in her house. That and roll out the trash. She’s a simple woman. She doesn’t need anyone rolling in dough.
Just something to think about.
@@tspencer661 Thanks for the reply. I'm 37, run my own shop, I've spent about 20 years in the army national guard. I live roughly an hour between two large cities but I'm still in the country. My preference is fit, feminine, and able to have children. I'm not a fan of tattoos or smoking/drugs either because when I go to a professional meeting or outing you kind of want your date not sleeved out and looking a little classy. Part of the issue is they would send me introductions where the woman was physically larger than me or she was on the other side of the state at three hours away by interstate. Nothing against some of the introductions but sending someone my way who is in their late 30's and figuring in courting for a couple or few years and then an engagement and wedding. Well that puts a person in the geriatric category for pregnancy and likely to have complications if not needing IVF.
When it comes to friends and family setting me up with people there is a normally a comment like "she has a pretty face" or "a great personality" or something like that followed by me asking "how big is she" or "how many kids does she have"
I spent my twenties and early thirties working a lot and overseas in a war to get to where I am now. I don't think my requirements are crazy but then again the world is crazy anymore.
If you're spending on a matchmaker anyways. Just spend it on travel. As an immigrant, I believe you will see how different relationships are around the world. Go where you are appreciated. At worst, you had a good vacation.
*In Summary:*
Reasons for Using Dating Apps
*Average Woman:* Waste men's time, energy, and money, Ego boost, Coping with Low Self Esteem at men's expense, Play games
*Average Man:* Date
Logically tell me how women aren't single handily ruining dating apps for men and women when they have more options than they know what to do with, yet still find themselves miserable.
The introduction of dating apps was like handing the keys of a multibillion dollar company to a 7 year old child.
Women have so much of a say in how things are run and what options they choose to take but the average one doesn't have the slightest clue of what direction they want to take.
*To have all the options and still be miserable is like to be rich yet go hungry.*
You'd be a damn fool to do so and the onus is entirely on you if you do.
*When you can't decide on what you want for dinner, the problem isn't the waiter, it's you.*
Wells said. I also can't understand how women can find themselves miserable when they are getting tons of attention and validation online.
@@aditopguy9785 I thought the same thing.
The thing is, the ones that need to post for that reason are typically the most desperate and insecure to begin with. They feed off of it just to get by, just to feel "normal", to feel like they are special. It's like how a little kid might need their parents approval to feel like they did a good job on a task.
A LOT of women need the approval of hundreds and thousands of men just to feel some semblance of accomplishment in life.
In a LOT of cases even the most average man around would have developed himself more and/or is doing a job (construction worker, plumber, police officer, firefighter, engineer etc.) that is far more meaningful and beneficial to society than what the girl is doing.
So in other words the girls know that in reality they are less valuable than these men (obviously society doesn't always directly reflect that when it comes to how easy it is for certain women to earn money) that's one of the reasons why they temporarily get a little ego boost from the attention these men give them.
It's never going to lead to any real long lasting fulfillment because the fact that they have to seek validation in the first place shows you how desperate they are, and how little they think of themselves.
It's like, if you're a multi 7-Figure business owner going on 10+ years in your industry, you don't need to reach out to McDonald employees to fell like you're doing a good job. You're already living a life that proves it.
Many women need to seek out the attention of (countless) men because despite what you see on the outside/online they know deep down they haven't/aren't really accomplishing anything much in their own lives. Nothing of true difficulty and effort.
Most (i.e 90% of) women literally don't even have the confidence to simply go up to a guy they like and ask them out. That alone shows you how insecure they are.
So it's no surprise that the constant stream of digital attention isn't going to help her much when she's out in the real world and realizes that she's a single 20+ year old grown ass woman who still can't even speak her mind like a normal functioning adult.
I am doing this now. Some of these women don't even respond to our messages. Yesterday I send a message to a woman and she didn't even respond, so now I'm collecting matches 😂
Most people don't say a word on dating apps. So there's no reason to recommend dating apps.
Imagine being miserable and simultaneously the most privileged group that has ever existed
This. They cannot be happy. Content is about as far as they go...
white middle class western women are the most privileged group of people to have ever lived and they still complain
“Most privileged group” ? Nah
@@cogipomrollname another statistical group that has more privilege than an attractive mid 20s white woman in the West.
@@machupikachu1085 What do you know about us??? We are humans with problems like you. Why do you think women cannot be unhappy or sad or having bad moments???
I‘ve made my peace with the fact, that I‘ll be left over. Dating apps are the most superficial thing ever, and if you’re not a woman, then forget it anyway. I am 36, handicapped (which means money is always short), a scarecrow and so done with trying to match others expectations. I‘ve tried to do that, but all I got from it was, that the one woman I loved more than everybody else combined, exchanged me literally over night for a better looking (not being) person. So I am done. Take me as I am or leave me alone. I have no desire for a woman (in my case) who’s constantly trying to change me and where whatever I do is never good enough.
Wow. I am so sorry man. Hang in there, brother.
@@machupikachu1085 Thank you for your nice comment.
As someone who has a disability, it’s very difficult to find someone to date. Let me give a little bit of context. I am completely blind, and unfortunately, because I am completely blind, a lot of people seem to be of the opinion that I should date other blind people. However, there is a major issue with this. a lot of the people that I end up dating in the blind community are either one of two things. Very sheltered and immature, or very full of themselves. As far as dating in the cited world, I haven’t had much success with that either. My longest relationship ongoing was about four years. It was with another person in the blind community. We got engaged after the first year of being together. Ironically enough, she actually asked me to marry her. Needless to say the whole thing went to hell in a hand cart three years later. Am I the type of person to give up on love? hell no but I am a little more choosy with who I get with.
Thank you for sharing your experience 🤍
Bro how are you typing this 😂
Love is blind.
@@schroederluck7984 Speech to text technology is a thing.
Edit: Also, do you need to look at your keyboard to type correctly?
@@schroederluck7984 Braille
Deleting the apps has helped my dating life a lot - find fun things to do in your area and since it's real life without the pressure of people putting their best foot forward you get to see the real and authentic person rather than an idealized version of who they are.
100%, go back to how we use to meet. I’m meeting stacks of chicks all younger at my local gym. Can pretty much pick and choose who I want really. On an app no chance. Remember apps are designed to make money not find you love.
5 years did a lot to and for me.
So much is different and so much is the same. After over 5 years of binging dating stats, essays, and personal accounts, I feel like my experience must simply be extremely niche and unfortunate.
I bare most of the responsibility, but my choices have made me largely happy. Hopefully one day someone will make me regret opting to focus on treading my familiar (safe) single path and give me a second chance to have something better.
-Next to no women have showcased to me that they can make my life better while demonstrating that they're not a dangerous risk to engage with. I don't have common needs however, so that's my journey
Dating is like fishing ...
There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but until you catch one you’re stuck holding your rod ...
- Moscow, Russia
When men join dating apps they swipe right on who they like and left on who they don't. Since women swipe left on 90% of the men these new men on dating apps get frustrated due to zero matches. These men then change strategies to swipe all women to the right and if and when they get a match they will do the filtering afterwards.
All I can say is that this may explain why around 95% of the time I can't make it past the second date when I have used a dating app.
Al least you got a date from the app. I’ve been on Zoosk for seven years and had two phone conversations from two women. That’s all I’ve gotten!
This is exactly why one should be off dating apps completely. Period. Especially if you’re a Man.
Girl A: Wants attention and gets it on apps from Men without purpose or goals who are swiping out of Scarcity
OR
Girl B: Drawn to a real in person person who has themselves together because they aren’t distracted and scarcity mindset swiping…
Who are you taking? Tough choice. #LogOFF
The advice I got for tinder was to swipe right on any girl that at least you might ever, under some limited circumstances (drunk, etc), perhaps be able to stomach hooking up with.
😵💫🫠
I'm sure drunk tinder is VASTLY different than sober Tinder lol
@@CourtneyRyan
Yep! 😄
@@CourtneyRyancan't fault him for that. You know dating is a game of numbers
It's bad advice actually. If you swipe right on everything the app downgrades you and you get less matches.
I LOVE IT! Women go there looking for attention, get the swipe they bait out, but get "dunked" when it comes to the "validation turned frustration" afterward. Men, who outnumber them, just couldn't take the "match" seriously. The lack of a chase is the source of frustration. The whole joke turned on them. 😂
And my bet is that the article she found is a complete lie.
plus...you know it's bad when they even try to scam u on RUclips comments... .pretending to be a pretty face (with their 2 subscribers and zero videos).
Guys, ignore both of these trolls. Don't feed them!✌😯
I have given up on swiping for women. For a while now I just leave my profile there and let them come to me as at least then I know or assume they found me attractive or liked what I had to say. Even with that at say a match or two a week in my small demographic 99.9% of the time I am often ghosted or left hanging for days at a time and they disappear after a seemingly engaging initial exchange. Or disappear after I ask them for a date. So clearly it seems to me women seem to be distracted by the number of options they have vs men. I have had some great first dates as well that don’t seem to go anywhere because of what seems like to me a distraction of constant better options - hypergamy? I’ve even been told this . But they all just cycle through this small percentage of seemingly top eligible men who will play the part but ultimately have zero interest in long term. That’s what ultimately ruins women and makes them miserable. But yet they keep doing it over and over.
Dating apps make everyone miserable! I've tried every app under the sun and got literally nowhere. My former Dating coach basically told me I wasn't trying hard enough and she eventually gave up on me...this was 2021.
I no longer use apps, however, I only go out 3 times a week with 2 being in the gym cause I have a personal trainer. Dating apps are just misery. Unless I hire someone to pizzazz my photos or if I'm gay and flamboyant, or fake, dating apps aren't for men like me
Dating/love coaches are the worst. They flex about their sugar daddies and then tell you to go find a rich girl.
Knowing when to walk away from the apps is a must. I think most guys would have more success in person!
@@GetBenched2010 I unfollowed her after last year, which I should've done a long time ago. Any dating coach that pushes clients to use dating apps can screw off. They DO NOT WORK
@@CourtneyRyan agreed! I spent all year building a social network in real time and have even met Hulk Hogan in the process!
@@CourtneyRyanYOU didn’t walk away from the apps though. You literally found your husband there.
Yeah, as a man, when I was on Tinder I did swipe exactly how you described it and maybe got a match once a week. Then the girl would promptly unmatch for some reason, so I didn't even have the chance to send a message, or they unmatched after the first message. Matches that would answer me were probably fewer than once a month. Overall, it was a huge waste of time. Fortunately, I don't waste my precious time on Tinder anymore. ;)
Few things make a person more miserable than learning that an illusion of options is an illusion.
‘The Paradox of Choice’ by Barry Schwartz explains this perfectly.
When faced with a variety of choice, you either choose badly or more commonly, miss a good thing that is right front of you because you think there’s better out there. Which means you actually end up with nothing.
The ones who find a good thing & end up fulfilled are the ones who appreciate what is in front of them. It’s a good read. Worth checking out.
When 85% of women are after less than 10% of men, all of whom pretty much can pick from any of that 85% as they choose, it's a recipe for disappointment.
Ladies:
-He CAN be less than 6 feet tall. You're not gonna die if he's 5'7
-He can make less than $200k a year and still keep things afloat.
Keep these in mind and you'll find yourselves a lot happier
Guilty of doing this. But the reason why I do this because, as a guy, I've lost the will to try. In the past I have messaged matches and they don't even respond, or respond once then stop [tinder].
Now that I get more likes and some few matches [hinge] I don't want to message them, for one, to avoid that hurt of putting myself out there only to get ignored even though we matched. And two, never really feeling excited about the set matches on there. I only like who I'm interested in, and never do that dumb thing about blindly swipimg right on all the girls there... I reflect that I've 'liked' PLENTY of girls on there, many who I'd def feel excited to interact with... but when I check the matches I feel very underwhelmed, like I child who unwrapps a present only to see a pair of socks and a sweater-vest, which are still a good gifts but they're not of any of those flashy cool toys I had on my wishlist LOL
Back when I was on dating apps I didn't have issues getting a steady stream of matches, but I was actually using the apps to meet marriage and family minded women. Reading topics from the dating subreddits you realize that a lot of these article speak in vacuums where context and nuance get thrown into a black hole. "Men swipe right for an ego boost" sounds like what a woman who has zero clue about the typical male experience on dating apps. Same with "Women have an easier experience on dating apps" being written by a guy who forces every women into the same category. I'd say dating apps are but one part of a bigger picture depicting a lonely, bitter, and hateful society. You have a company like Match which buys all competition and drive them into the ground(like with hinge) in an effort to make more money, namely off of lonely men. That translates into so many issue downstream that listing them with context would turn this comment into an essay.
One thing for sure is , due to modernization of society , we are losing the solely pure human interaction of dating culture. Dating apps , quickly destroyed the traditional dating culture , it feels like fast food chain just to quickly get a match. To be honest , I dont use dating apps, but I found this is already beyond the alarming rate.
I used to just swipe right (like) to most profiles and then see who matches with me. I then looked at my matches profiles and message the ones I liked, ignoring the rest. I did this because most women do not match anyway, so it's just pointless investing too much time studying any one profile.
It's only making them miserable because they can't all get Chad's attention.
As a dude who rarely messaged the women I matched with, the reasons always varied. No bio or limited bio gives nothing to start a conversation. Being told constantly by the internet that you need to have a good/clever/funny opening line and can’t just say “hey, how’re you?” (despite that being the most common opening line I’ve gotten from women on Bumble.)
Once I asked a girl about her college major because it genuinely seemed interesting and her response was literally just a link to the Wikipedia article about that major.
Conversation is often non-existent. People should just be open about what they’re looking for and humble themselves in general
I have not used dating apps in years, and when I did have them, I never had any right swipes. But meeting women in person has been completely different. I tell young guys all the time to grow a pair and learn how to talk/approach women in person. You need those pheromones going.
And when the girl turns you down, then labels you a creep or weirdo and then goes and whines about it on her friends or social media. It's not fear of women, it's fear of being treated like a criminal.
@@daxtertalon4 I understand that. But for most men and most women that isn’t the case.
@@daxtertalon4 that particularly applies if she finds you not attractive
@@MarylandGuy-ey3stAgreed, unless a guy looks like Henry Cavill, he isn't going to be considered attractive.
@@tyw2675If that wasn't the case, then 63% of men over thirty would not be single. I'm not saying that every single one in that group deserves someone, men and women have each played a role in creating the problems in modern dating, but men get bashed and women get overlooked.
I feel bad for people getting ghosted or whatever, but this is so funny to me. Imagine saying no to 90% of tinder and getting upset that the guy who 70% of women want, dont want to commit to some average person. Crazy! Who wouldve thought? Also i call bs on the woman take longer to send a message cause theyre more serious. It just takes 2 weeks for yall to get the courage to send a "hi" and guys are just trying to get the conversation started and see where it goes. This is comical but goodluck ladies, id say give an average guy a chance, but we already know yall just want to fight for the same guy who treats woman like trash cause they got 900 girls dming them each day
In my opinion, dating has actually gotten better for me. I just needed to focus on me first before putting myself back out there.
(Male) I deleted all my dating apps recently. I feel just as lonely but now I have more time.
Oh, dating apps are making women miserable now too? Now everyone gets to suffer together, hurrah!
Equality!
My dating experience has 100% changed in the last 5 years. I used to have a reasonable chance of matching with and meeting someone on an app, now its virtually impossible. Idk what changed, but it just does not happen for me now. I deleted them all because it was so hopeless and I was feeling so terrible about myself. Zero matches and zero hope.
The situation for men on tinder is even worse than for women. Apart from the obvious issue that beauty is the main attribute of this application. In addition, when I was using Tinder, the number of women who had more than pictures of their bodies on their profile was small. Also complaining that men only see a woman's body doesn't make sense when only women show it.
I generally don't care about ego or number of right swipes. The main thing for me is that I'm not into small talk, so it's hard to find a kick-off subject to start well a conversation, without knowing anything but the pictures she has uploaded. For example, if the girl is into parties and alcohol, I soon realize that she can't stay much on deeper subjects, she gets bored.
Sometimes I wonder where all the single women have gone.
When I got to the gym its 80% dudes.
when I go shopping it's only couples.
Most women I've seen in one place are group fitness classes, and all of them are outside my age range.
I don't go to clubs or parties either.
I don't know how this is gonna work 😅
What interests do you have? What do you like to do?
sooo thankful I walked away from dating apps. I'd love to see a video discussing the percentage of men on dating apps have encountered scam artists or gold diggers.
Very interesting article. I deleted all of my dating apps when I chose to take a temporary break from dating. If anything, I am glad that I did because I became less annoyed. That is, I no longer worried about getting matches or having to deal with women not responding to my initial message. Plus, most of the women I went on dates with were complete mismatches. Looking back, I had better success with dating women I met in-person than I did on the apps.
👏🏼
DUDE weve always said meet in wild not on apps! Guys like you are just stubborn and dont learn!
@@dougbarnowski5224 first and foremost, when I was actively dating, I knew that it was generally better (and preferable) to date women that I met in-person than on the apps. Part of the reason I used dating apps back then was because of how "popular" they were; yes, I will admit there was some peer-pressure factor involved.
Second, you should consider using appropriate grammar if you want to maturely get your point across because "weve" and "dont" are not words, but "we've" and "don't" are words.
Glad you did have more success in person.
@@dianedemarco370 while I did not explicitly state this in my initial comment, I had better and more meaningful relationships with the women that I first met in-person. I think part of the reason why is that I had the chance to get to know them a little bit more so that I could summon the courage to ask them out on a date. Plus, it was a little easier to gage on whether there was chemistry.
Very rarely did I have a relationship with the women that I first met on the apps mainly because things were rushed and it was a little more tricky to keep her interested.
For the short time I was on dating apps it really is your only option to swipe right on literally everyone hoping for ONE match. And then they never respond. I gave it maybe a couple months and realized it’s completely pointless and an outright scam
I think that a dating app could be designed that might work by severely limiting the number of interactions. Like for instance a woman could have three contacts and then she gets no more unless a man on the app reports that she had a date with him. If the date did not work out ok but at least she has to put in the effort before she receives any more matches. You could do the same for guys but give them perhaps a few more like maybe 5 simply because of the mismatch which is always found on dating sites.
Nice idea, but I don't think most men are willing to fork out date money every 5-10 matches. They can still go on competitor sites and see the success rate is much less than 10%. If a man really has the means, he can join a matchmaking service or become a passport bro instead. A matchmaking service will pre-qualify him for a large fee, and a plane ticket with a passport is cheaper.
Also, a way to keep women on this new dating site is to set them up with unattractive men (according to her) who will pay for a first date. She gets free stuff and 3-5 more victims when she doesn't have any romantic interest in any of them.
@@pace1195 it could work out that way of course you could tweek the formula but the main thing is that it would be a site for people who are dating with a purpose and would eliminate the catfishing and the people who only want attention.
@@impudentdomain Fair enough. I don't think it will stop the foodie dates, but the ratios of serious daters to free stuff daters may be better.
I don't know until the experiment is run.
When I was on Tinder about 2.5 years ago, I swiped with about a 30:1 left:right ratio so my matches were RARE. Yet when I did match, any resulting conversation was even more rare; the women just wouldn't communicate. It was the main reason I got fed up with it and deleted it forever. I just got tired of trying.
⚠WHAT?! It is so ridiculous that WOMEN would complain about their experience on dating apps!!! Create a man profile with photos of a very normal man and see what happens!🙄
I’m now in my 50s. I have no family, no kids, no parents, no close friends, and no love. Going back to the early 2000s I found that dating apps just didn’t work for me. The only thing I got out of dating apps was I’m not worth anything. Ironically, I’m an electrical engineer living in silicon valley, I own my own home in Silicon Valley, and I’m a musician. But I suppose that doesn’t matter. If I were to disappear tomorrow only the bill collectors would notice. It’s pretty clear that I don’t matter. I have no hope.
You matter though❤
@@lisa-mariegrote1728 maybe
Of course women don't experience rejection the same way men do, they avoid putting themselves in that spot but they also cover up themselves with as much compression clothing as possible, padded bras, tons of industrial-grade makeup, plastic surgery, and filters for their pictures. How would the world be if women realized there are more women average and below-average than there are men average and below? I think more women vs men take SSRIs so there's also the copium
Interesting. Every now and then Tinder actually grants me a match. The women almost NEVER write first. If they do it's just some emoji or "hi" (which is fine for me since it at least shows some interest. But try to pull that as a man). But even worse: Most women dont even bother to respond when I write first. Not to some emoji, not to "hi", not to anything personal, funny, long, short, cocky whatever... So honestly, I don't even bother anymore.
Congratulations, you broke it.
Like with everything else in life, apps benefit women more than men.
They're exciting in the beginning........until you realise they do no more for you than if you see woman any other way:- work, gym, church, club, etc. Only women and Chads gain from apps.
First off, I love your work and videos Courtney!!! I've been on dating apps now for almost 3yrs, and in that time, I've probably only been on 3 dates??!!! I'm not a bad looking guy by any means, and it's true, women have waaaaayyyyy to many options... in hindsight, it's just not fair and yes it does a number on a person. I don't know what exactly more I need to do, but after a while, you just want to give up.. but I'm hanging in there!
I stopped using dating apps because when I give guys a chance, they change the conversation quickly from casual to asking inappropiate intimate questions. We may get more attention from men, but it's mostly the most inappropiate and uncomfortable attentions.
As a girl I quit online dating many…many years ago back in the OKCupid days 🤣. I think the moral of the story is if it’s making everyone miserable, then everyone should delete these apps and we should go back to good old fashioned IRL meeting and dating.
spiritual singles
Women make themselves miserable on the apps by collectively choosing the same small percentage of men. For example, some stats from Bumble showed that 69% of women set a height requirement of 6 ft or taller. So that's almost 70% of women going for the 14% of men who are 6ft or taller...that's a 5 to 1 ratio. That makes nobody happy except that small percentage of men who get to pump and dump a series of women.
Hi Courtney,
I've watched quite a few of your videos, but only decided to subscribe when you stated that society has changed in the last 5 years. I am in complete agreement with this...and don't think it's necessarily for the better. Anyway, just thought it may help your marketing strategy
Courtney; With regards to Women's takes on dating apps, the dating scene and their takes on Men that go viral on social media, Tik-Tok and RUclips , as a general soft rule, it might be helpful to apply the following lens when women say the word "Men".
What women really seem to mean is "The Men I'd consider an 'option'" or "the Men I'd bother with".
Women are frustrated on the dating apps because if they aren't just there for validation, then it's basically a big eDive Bar chock full of what they would consider losers.
And if Women are just there for hook-ups, flings and situationships, then of course they're going to be frustrated.... Because then they're trying to date like Men do, and there's A LOT of rejection in that space.
Yeah Courtney called it in the first minute. Women complaining about a double standard they do to men all the time..its like I always say. They have no issues rejecting men but those are the same women who can't handle rejection themselves...
Happy Sunday Courtney ❤! It would be better if both men and women can go out and talk to people in person and less on their phones while walking and less dating apps
Agreed! 💓
A long time ago when I was on apps I’d swipe right on everyone without even looking at them because it was so rare to get matches that it wasn’t worth my time to look at them unless I matched. About 6 years ago I was actually able to meet some attractive women on apps but they were crazy and most only wanted me for a hookup. I’ve been single the last two years and I look better than I ever have but it’s a barren wasteland on apps now so I’m no longer wasting time or money on them. Younger women are starting to find me attractive now and I’m going back to college at 35 so that might be interesting. I think since ppl ruined online dating they’re very hesitant and distant but they’re very slowly starting to circle back to talking to ppl in person.
Aww poor women.
Appreciate you looking at it from a logical perspective instead of just saying that all men need to stop this behavior. I myself am pretty selective when it comes to swiping on dating apps. And I typically always message/respond to whoever I match with. However, I know in general men use more of a shotgun approach. They'll then take their matches and then dig deeper into the profiles to look for red flags. It's possible some of these women are getting matches because they are physically attractive, but something in their profile might make those men think twice.
Here’s how it works for men:
- Swipe right on everything
- Pick from matches
- Filter out bots/liberals/trans
You got this right Cortney- another spot on analysis. More of this please.
Courtney, I think it’s better to meet people in person. Sometimes the men with average looks might be the better husbands over the guys that most women want. The top 1% men have many options so if they have the opportunity to cheat some of them would.
I’ve never dated at 27 but it’s crazy I’ve come insanely close and honestly would have succeeded if I was more confident 3 different times in person. I hardly get out of the house besides work yet on dating apps I’d say I haven’t come close once in 7 years
My experience is this is true. I've managed to go with 8s and 9s several times from meeting them in person, but I could count on one hand the amount of 8s and 9s I've even matched with on an app, much less been able to land a date with. Apps are optimal only for 9-10 men who can use them to have their pick of anyone and everyone. They're purpose built to keep people from commitment.
You can't meet in person these days. Everyone lives behind a screen or a computer, and any woman over 25 has already birthed some other dude's kid.
Just dating in person isn't as practical as you make it. Natural communities of young people hardly exist anymore.
But meeting people in person would require actually going outside, touching grass, and smelling air. Ain't nobody trying to go outside in 2023 when it's easier to cry on RUclips and be a victim.
Mine has certainly changed. I was exactly the guy you were describing: Tons of matches and rarely sent any messages. The next person was always going to be better than the last. I also really didn’t care about getting to know anyone, so I learned how to create a profile that was really attractive to women in general, rather than the women I like.
Now, I am on two apps in hopes of actually meeting someone, so I’ve written things I would never have written before. For example, I don’t drink and would prefer someone who is, at least, primarily on the sober side. Amongst other things of a similar nature. Matches down to almost zero.
Women go after the same type of man expecting a different result, getting pissed when all they want is casual then say all men are garbage. Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result.
Also, just because a hot millionaire wants to have sex with you, does not mean you deserve that type of guy for a relationship. Women think its such a flex that so many hot men want to sleep with her. Lmao
love your commentaries
Oh I definitely enjoy the ego-boost of women choosing me and messaging me. I don't use Tinder or Bumble but I do enjoy the attention. At least with me I have the experience and the knowledge to handle these kinds of waters, even as a short guy