I find the more I'm quiet the more 1. I was making assumptions about him that were wrong and 2. things blow over. I also am a safer wife when I can simply listen.
I very seriously considering working with Coach Carol. She seems wonderful, and I’m grateful that you have recommended her and so many other helpful resources related to marriage. I wanted to get your opinion on what would be the best way to start with Coach Carol if on a very limited budget. I saw she has a course for $197 or 2 phone calls for $300. If you had to choose between the course or the phone calls which one of those would you choose first?
First off, she has a free assessment call. I would always suggest starting there bc 1. it's free, and 2. she gets to know you a bit. Second, the least expensive option is her monthly group coaching: $47/month gets you three group coaching sessions (1 hour each) plus the private FB group. The course will be incredibly beneficial, on top of any coaching, to understand the basics and the mindset work. The individual calls move the needle quickly. She will explain it all in the free assessment. I have personally done her RENEW program (not offered often), individual calls, and I'm in her monthly group program.
Thank you for this. I really struggle with this. My husband has been incredibly verbally abusive toward myself and my kids and frequently goes through periods of constantly insulting me. He has a really stressful job which is what brings it on. His job also keeps him away most of the week until Sunday (before sunrise til at least 9 pm every night). He does have good intentions many times. But he drinks heavily, smokes, and doesn’t always lead us spiritually. I’m really at a point of distrust and frustration. I’m just so tired of our children seeing this. So I know I’m guilty of the things you’re saying but it’s so hard with his behavior being so bad. I want our children to know that hurtful behavior is not ok. Any advice? I am looking for a Christian therapist. I have asked him to go to marriage counseling for a long time. He refuses. We have a Catholic marriage and I don’t believe in divorce but what if you feel like you might’ve made a mistake? I love him but it gets so bad sometimes and it’s been going on for so long. Been married almost 14 years.
I hear your pain. I REALLY suggest reading The Empowered Wife and practicing the skills asap. You get your eyes off of him and onto "your paper" because you can only control yourself. If you need inspiration, check out the Empowered Wife podcast by Laura Doyle as well we Coach Carol's RUclips channel. You don't need marriage counseling. You just need to work the skills. Feeling like you made a mistake is natural, and untrue. I'll keep you in my prayers. Please touch base again after reading the book. I KNOW you can do this and things WILL get better. You can find your joy and light no matter how he is acting, and once you become safe and respectful, things may shift. Yet, with the skills, you can find your joy either way!
@@bloominginthelight how is it possible though when he is abusive and violent and cussing and just not really safe. He’s constantly angry. It’s really so bad. He isn’t able to get along or communicate well with anyone. I believe he’s a narcissist because he views everyone as incompetent and that he is perfect, which is crazy because he’s so hurtful and out of control most of the time. I do appreciate it but it’s hard to hear that I should learn to be happy with abuse.i have tried all the things in the video. He’s a very self destructive person, I don’t think he’s able to love anyone well because he doesn’t love himself. I do get what you’re saying but not sure how my behavior will help that.
@@alanadidonato147 If the marriage is violent the Catholic Church does not require you to stay in an environment that is abusive for yourself and your children! The church is against abuse in marriage. If this is happening in a marriage, the best option is to remove oneself from the situation. Being married to a person doesn’t mean living with them and subjecting yourself to unnecessary harm. Seek out counselling for yourself and your children and have an escape plan. Please remember that the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she is planning to leave - if you get to that point, be discrete. On a practical note about church teaching: If civilly divorced or simply living separate, you would be able to continue receiving the sacraments provided that you are otherwise in a state of grace. The Church would not permit “remarriage” without a declaration of nullity being granted for the first marriage. Another marriage without a declaration of nullity would not be permissible.
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I'm improving too Laura....lovely to hear that I'm not the only one who fails from time to time too! Thank you for sharing 😊 ❤
Oh yes, it's so hard at times. Duct taping has helped! :)
@@bloominginthelight I must get myself a virtual role 😄
Love this ! Duct tape 😂
I find the more I'm quiet the more 1. I was making assumptions about him that were wrong and 2. things blow over. I also am a safer wife when I can simply listen.
Fantastic video. Thank you, Laura!
Thanks! Glad you found value in it.
Amen, well said Laura 🙏
I very seriously considering working with Coach Carol. She seems wonderful, and I’m grateful that you have recommended her and so many other helpful resources related to marriage. I wanted to get your opinion on what would be the best way to start with Coach Carol if on a very limited budget. I saw she has a course for $197 or 2 phone calls for $300. If you had to choose between the course or the phone calls which one of those would you choose first?
First off, she has a free assessment call. I would always suggest starting there bc 1. it's free, and 2. she gets to know you a bit. Second, the least expensive option is her monthly group coaching: $47/month gets you three group coaching sessions (1 hour each) plus the private FB group.
The course will be incredibly beneficial, on top of any coaching, to understand the basics and the mindset work.
The individual calls move the needle quickly.
She will explain it all in the free assessment. I have personally done her RENEW program (not offered often), individual calls, and I'm in her monthly group program.
@@bloominginthelight thank you for that info!
Love the video!
Thanks! Respect is probably something I could comment on daily, either with wins or oops. haha
Thank you for this. I really struggle with this. My husband has been incredibly verbally abusive toward myself and my kids and frequently goes through periods of constantly insulting me. He has a really stressful job which is what brings it on. His job also keeps him away most of the week until Sunday (before sunrise til at least 9 pm every night). He does have good intentions many times. But he drinks heavily, smokes, and doesn’t always lead us spiritually. I’m really at a point of distrust and frustration. I’m just so tired of our children seeing this. So I know I’m guilty of the things you’re saying but it’s so hard with his behavior being so bad. I want our children to know that hurtful behavior is not ok. Any advice? I am looking for a Christian therapist. I have asked him to go to marriage counseling for a long time. He refuses. We have a Catholic marriage and I don’t believe in divorce but what if you feel like you might’ve made a mistake? I love him but it gets so bad sometimes and it’s been going on for so long. Been married almost 14 years.
Just hurts to hear this because I want an amazing marriage so badly.
I hear your pain. I REALLY suggest reading The Empowered Wife and practicing the skills asap. You get your eyes off of him and onto "your paper" because you can only control yourself. If you need inspiration, check out the Empowered Wife podcast by Laura Doyle as well we Coach Carol's RUclips channel. You don't need marriage counseling. You just need to work the skills. Feeling like you made a mistake is natural, and untrue. I'll keep you in my prayers. Please touch base again after reading the book. I KNOW you can do this and things WILL get better. You can find your joy and light no matter how he is acting, and once you become safe and respectful, things may shift. Yet, with the skills, you can find your joy either way!
@@bloominginthelight how is it possible though when he is abusive and violent and cussing and just not really safe. He’s constantly angry. It’s really so bad. He isn’t able to get along or communicate well with anyone. I believe he’s a narcissist because he views everyone as incompetent and that he is perfect, which is crazy because he’s so hurtful and out of control most of the time. I do appreciate it but it’s hard to hear that I should learn to be happy with abuse.i have tried all the things in the video. He’s a very self destructive person, I don’t think he’s able to love anyone well because he doesn’t love himself. I do get what you’re saying but not sure how my behavior will help that.
@@alanadidonato147 If the marriage is violent the Catholic Church does not require you to stay in an environment that is abusive for yourself and your children! The church is against abuse in marriage. If this is happening in a marriage, the best option is to remove oneself from the situation. Being married to a person doesn’t mean living with them and subjecting yourself to unnecessary harm. Seek out counselling for yourself and your children and have an escape plan. Please remember that the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she is planning to leave - if you get to that point, be discrete.
On a practical note about church teaching: If civilly divorced or simply living separate, you would be able to continue receiving the sacraments provided that you are otherwise in a state of grace. The Church would not permit “remarriage” without a declaration of nullity being granted for the first marriage. Another marriage without a declaration of nullity would not be permissible.
“Sins of Eve.”