@@comradewindowsill4253ngl it would work for me depending on who's getting pregnant and how good and loyal of a person they are. (Tho I wouldn't accept undead, demons or devils)
@@potatoheadpokemario1931 Yup. And bargaining in bad faith puts you under their power so they can force you to break the oath of celibacy, and your faith and deity can't do shit because you made a bargain.
Character concept: A normal human (because that would be the bards first) just a normal effin' kid in the town, suddenly spirited away to the faerealm. Comes back as a fae warlock maybe? Probably out to hunt down their dad to punch him in the face.
Me : well she is currently trapped in a radioactive zone under 20 miles of stone in a titanium bunker surrounded by cultist. Fae: the fuck Me : i pissed off there god now i have to get her back. The fae: .... What the fuck did you do to piss him off
"In return for your help, you owe me... your firstborn." "I AGREE." "Um, you're a warforged." "INDEED. HERE." (hands the fey a box) * six months later * "Me and my big ideas... okay, it says here to connect wire 14B to panel 6N, then screw it in clockwise... Which one is wire 14B, and what in the Winter Court's name is a Philips screwdriver?"
Let me try an interpretation of this: -In a graveyard years after the adventure is over, there lays the monk's final resting place. Wild flowers have begun to be bloom over the grave. A single flower is plucked, the first to bloom. "Another flower to add to my bouquet. How beautiful you turned out"
Reminds me of this one warlock who sold his soul to a demon, then signed a devils contract for more power. Got the two fighting each other he thought, but they tore his soul in half.
Rogue: So, in exchange for safe passage through here for life, you ask for my firstborn. Fey: Yes. Rogue: Alright, so, you wanna do this at your place or.... Fey: What? Rogue: I've not had a kid yet, so I figured easiest way to pay you is to uhh, well, get you pregnant. Fey: ....you know what, just go. EDIT: I get the bard would be more likely to say that, but ask yourselves before replying, would the bard absolutely be able to assure that's their firstborn?
Here's the thing, most Fae lore (outside of D&D granted) this is exactly what they would do. A fea creature most normally from the Winter side of things would make a deal in exchange for offspring and would be willing to either sleep with you themselves or have one of their vassals do so on their behalf. You get a favor and great sex. The problem is you've just doomed your child to grow up in WINTER which is just awful . . .
My Warlock bargained away his name to a fae to let the party out of a forest. He had forgotten his name due to a 500 year timeloop, so he didnt mind giving it up
They better, because I'm asexual AND won't ever have kids, even if I had sex, I'd do everything possible to prevent it 😂 Seriously, they have to start being more careful, we humans learn their tricks too >:]
I'd like to imagine the local archfey discovered the scam and blessed the party with free passage anyway on account of how hilarious they found the monk's play to be
yeah, there are three outcomes if you get one over the Fey like this 1: they find it hillarious and reward you 2: they are pissed, welcome to hell 3: you didn't get one over them, you just thought you did
nah, fae respect trickery and deception without lies, since fae can't lie, but can deceive, the fae would only be mas if the monk outright said he would have kids, but since it "didn't come up" the fae would perceive it as being their own fault for being deceived, not the monks since he didn't actually lie.
Unfortunately, neither of these would happen: Fey can innately sense if you have any other claiments/oaths/whatever that wod prevent them from collecting on the deal. But if they didn't .....
Fey- "In exchange for safe passage, I demand your soul." Warlock- "Sure, have at it." Deity Patron seeing the Fey try to take his soul- "WHOM DARE TRIFLE WITH THINE WARLOCK!?" Fey- _sh*ts themselves_ "uhhhh.... Not me lol haha! Be crazy tho."
Or this Fey: in exchange I demande your soul Undead warlock: ok but you will have to face my friend Fey: who his your friend Warlock: him (a dracolich come from the sky)
@@Poleplant The monk ain't a paladin, so he won't lose his powers if he breaks the oath and it would be forced anyway, so most chill gods would forgive it anyway.
Why do you believe that amonk sworn to celibacy wouldhave sex just becasue they fall in love? What you need is a lust spell and even that isn't anywhere near a sure success.
Hand this EXACT sinario come up at my table. As soon as the pact was made, a child that resembled the player spawned before them and the archfey just walked off with him.
Not even a little no. The Fae do not care if you are celibate, they will set it up. They spike your food to make you sleep with someone they have assured will get pregnant. Or they will get creative and thats when things get messy. Like the Monk waking up pregnant.
....make a deal about something you actually can and intend to pay. Trying to screw over the fae never goes well. This guy has rape of some sort in his near future, pretty sure.
When that monk eventually dies, they instead get Reincarnated as a baby who wakes up in the arms of that Fae, who smiles down on them and asks, "Remember me?"
I mean, it could work. Fae tend to have issues with human concepts of time, this one might just end up waiting, checking in on thy monk to see if he's got a kid, sees he doesn't and just keep waiting.
They do tend to live longer, but a debt is a debt and they will collect. The moment they decide they want the debt collected, they will do it themselves.
@@TheLastSane1the debt would only come into play when the monk has a firstborn. Rumplestilksin didn't start setting the lady up on dates. He just showed up when she had the baby
Had something like that happen with a fiend. My character had died because of a fae who froze and shattered his body. My character went to hell, crawled back out and returned in time to collect his own permafrosted eyeball from his previous body. He later promised one of his eyes to a fiend, simply requesting he could pick which one because he has a favorite one. He passed off the frozen eye and my DM finally understood why I hoard oddities.
I do prefer the other take on the 'bargain with Fae for your first born' "trick" (this is paraphrased/slightly summarized, and I'm pretty sure has come up on this channel? or maybe it was another one.) Fae: your mother is healed. but will you be ready when the times comes to pay? Human: Absolutely, when do we start? Fae: I'm sorry? Human: You said you wanted my firstborn. Fae: yes? and you agreed? Human: yeah, so, when do we start? Fae: ... Fae (blushing): Ah.
He could try to marry the fey by promising her as many children as she wants (or at least as many children he is capable of having before old age takes him lol)
Character idea: The monk does this very often with many different creatures thinking because of his oath it will never happen. But one drunken night he gets a woman pregnant and now all of the beings have showed up to claim the child. You are the child and all of the creatures are trying to win you over like a stepdad trying to win your favor. You are a warlock because each being gave you a little bit of power to get you to choose them.
Paladin- "What did they demand?" Mage- "My first born. . . " Bard- *eyes widening in realization* Paladin- "but you don't have any kids. . . " Mage- "I know. . .negotiation took ten minutes. The. . .actions after. . . That's why I was gone all night. . .she wanted her payment as soon as possible" Bard- *smiling and hugging the mage* "I'm so proud of you!" Paladin- *Confusion transforming into shock upon realization*
All of the players get cloned by the BBEG to fight them. Just as the monk's clone raises their fists, a group of fae appear and grab them, before disappearing.
Fey: "I will take you first born as payment." Paladin: "Deal! No takebacks." Fey: "That was too easy. Why were you okay with that." Paladin: "A demon lord kidnapped my daughter and said I'd never see her again before dragging her to the Abyss. They don't legally have ownership of her and honestly she'd probably be better off with you."
That could go a few interesting ways from. Fay: "I see, well, you have nine months to complete delivery of the payment. to Fay: *narrows eyes* "A demon lord has my child you say." *sounds of thousands of fey preparing for war*
@@KW-de9sc You could really make an amazing off camera conflict from that little interaction, I do wonder what players would think when hearing about how the Fey -Demon war effects local politics.
@@KarlJeager I did actually try this with a cursed sword once. You know, that bullshit one that says you won’t part with it willingly. Tried being the keyword. I was going to wager it in a bet and purposefully lose so they’d have to remove the curse and fuck that sword man, because that fucking thing now takes precedent over all things in your life to the point it mind controls you. I called bullshit but I wasn’t the dm so not a lot I could do. Gods help you that you aren’t an eldritch knight when you pick up that fucking curse because it makes it really difficult to get rid of it.
It needs to be his firstborn, not first adopted. The person would still be someone else's firstborn. If it were possible to just give away other's firstborns, don't you think everyone would just trade in firstborns of other people if that's what the fey are asking for?
@@chrisgomez1262 clearly, why do you think we gone through the trouble of preparing a ritual? Some of us argued that we could just changed you to woman but whats the fun in that?
TFW the DM forgets why the noble scion is adventuring to attain glory and honors instead of ruling the duchy is he is sterile and his little brother isn't
Never try to out rules lawyer the fae. They have no moral scruples to get in the way and they think of bending the rules like a game. They will absolutely enjoy tearing you down for even trying to cross them. Be scared of fairies.
Honestly, I think they'd be at least sort of impressed, the fact never came up, so that is TECHNICALLY on them for not asking about any oaths of celibacy or issues that would prevent pregnancy.
@flyboy6392 They might be impressed and even respect the monk's trickery. But won't stop them from seeking retribution or at least a way to complete the transaction.
A friend came up with an awesome story for this. Someone bargained warlock powers for their firstborn. Their would-be patron got fed up with waiting. Boom! Imp child!
True. When dealing with fae or devils, the fine print will either make or break you. You should always be the one who is technically correct, to the letter, on the details of the bargain
Except something was offered in exchange for something else. Something is owed. The fae will twist or defile their end of the bargain, but will never renege on completing the deal. Trying this would end in pain or disaster. Fact is, you owe the fae a debt. They'll find a way to collect.
@@jeremiahsnelson5644 the fae didn't ask if he would ever have a kid he simply stated they will receive his firstborn child. The fae might be angry but he hasn't broken any deal. He just has yet to pay up. And unless the fae specified when to pay up then oh well.
@@leviqueen1504 But he has to pay up eventually. Something was offered, a favor was given. The fae care more about favors than they do about contracts. He has *offered* something. He owes something. The fae will get it out of him, whether he likes it or not.
Human: So, when do we start? Fey: ...If I may ask you to elaborate? Human: You said you wanted my firstborn. Fey: Yes? And you agreed? Human: Yeah, so, when do we start? Fey: Fey, blushing: Ah.
@@blackmark2899 technically first born doesn't have to be the monks bio kid. was not stated in the ToS. So any child he claims as his IS technically his first so a orphan would work. Edit: before anyone says "his first born" I will say this. the orphan would be HIS FIRST. and the orphan was BORN. The terms never stated it had to be related to him or that he had to produce it. ToS are important! read them people.
@@aidendaniels4063 the exact wording is also important, as "first born" is different from "firstborn". the former is the first child of that person's who is born, the latter is their first official child born in wedlock.
Most people are still limited to a maximum of one firstborn, though. Fey don't seem to care about "only child" status very often. Unless some kind of "probability of existing" is being measured, which is definitely a possibility for fay.
The monk a few years later decides to live in a peaceful house close to a city where he lives with his pet And Both are starting to get old When he says “ you know you have always been like a son to me” The fey shows up and takes the pet
The alternative is to sell your soul upon death to multiple entities, then watch them duke it out to claim you soul, or they just don't claim it because the battle would cost more then a single soul is worth. Free Power.
Out of character: Great plan, provided none of them have the foresight to mark your soul and say "this one is mine". In character: Considering the various fates that await unclaimed souls in the world of D&D, I wouldn't.
The best option (in FR, at least) available is wandering in the gray wastes. Maybe, just maybe, you end up in the Crystal Spire, and Kelemvor judges you as False. At that point, you might end up tortured for eternity, or you might end up just having to hang around a bunch of other people who tried to game the system like you did. Probably depends on how many entities you made pacts with, and how many of them were Gods.
Later in the in the campaign: Bard: Hey monk. I tried to get with a saucy wench earlier and she was looking for you. Fey: I've come for your firstborn. Monk: Oh well I took an oath- Fey: I know. I've come to "personally" break it. Monk: *concerned* What? Bard: *getting their drama fix-excited" What?
@@althelor a deal's a deal, its a question of the easy way or the hard way edit: correction, in this context assuming prental love, the hard way or the hard and horrifying way
Later that week - Random Fae - "Hey! You're that celebate mortal that promised Jim Paul your firstborn for passage, right?" Monk - "I am." Random Fae - *Looses shit as they fall over laughing* *Gets back up* "Good shit. Good shit. Big fan of of your work, just wanted to see you in person before he made it his purpose in life to make you regret it. Toodles!"
I guess how it turns out will depend entirely on the mood of the fae you bargained with. Maybe they find you amusing, and that's good enough. Maybe they figure you'll probably break the oath at some point, so it's just a matter of patience. Or they just transform you into what ever animal has the most horrifying method of reproduction. Something something "traumatic insemination."
DM: after what felt like hours of running from, what seemed to be an army of ungodly shrieking and howling, you finally make it to a clearing at the edge of the woods. Roll a saving throw. Monk: *Wut* …Shhhhhhhhhit! DM: …well? Monk: (agonized sigh) what do you think?! DM: …you suddenly feel the tightening of vines around your legs. You feel paralyzed yet you don’t feel as though you’d been stung nor stabbed. A deep sensation of dread and foreboding crawls the length of your spine as an arm gently wraps over your shoulder, a large, soft mass compresses up into your back, and a deeply sultry, breathy voice grazes the edges of your earlobe… “Where do you think you’re going, *celibate.”* Monk: h- how did you-? “Oh I hear *everything~* in these woods” Monk: …uh- I- “See, here’s the deal, my austere acolyte~. *You* have promised me your first born and *I* have *granted* you passage. I am *willing* to wait nine months. I *may* have the patience to wait an entire *year,* but I *Refuse* to wait an *Eternity!* You may give me what I want, now! …or you can become fertilizer for the orchids. Take your pick, the clock is ticking.” Monk: 😳 Other players: 😳🫣🫢😏👍 DM: 😈
Meanwhile, the Fey is fully aware of the Monk's celibacy due to Speak With Plants, and now plans to use some magic fuckery to force them to have a child.
@aeternusthegoat Not necessarily, although that may be an option depending on the tone of the story. It could be "merely" arranging circumstances to maximise the chance of that monk breaking their vows: ensuring that the sort of people they'll be most attracted to meet them, etc. No coercion, magical or otherwise, has to be involved. Just carefully optimised temptation, and perhaps offering a warlock of theirs a deal to seduce the monk. Note that I still consider this morally questionable, but fay aren't well known for sharing human morality.
Literally our party in our session today: Rich dude: I want to pay you to do this job. Party, not liking the rich people in this place: half the money up front? Rich dude: okay *gives 76gp * Party: thanks * fucking ghosts the dude *
And that is a good way to never get jobs again. Regardless of your opinions on the matter, if you take a job, you should do it because if you dont, no one is going to trust you with work.
@@marcusreading3783 oh for sure, under regular circumstances. But this is dnd, the circumstances are rarely regular. The thing is our party is on a big quest to create a revolution and getting all the jobs from the criminal underworld anyway. And our contact told us not to go to the authorities, not to tell them anything. And this rich dude works for the city which means he is the authorities.
The bbeg turns out to be the bastared of the monk from before he took his oath so when the fae comes to collect the bbeg gets wisked away to an entirely different plane. The fae wants to release the monk from the obligation after realizing who his first born is but the monk forces the fae to follow through by holding it to the terms of the contract
Plot twist, Monk actually had a kid who has already died due to a sickness which is why they became a monk in the first place, to help grieve the loss of their child.
Remember fey always check for paths of celibacy. Thats how they getcha. The fey accidentally agreeing to take the first born of an asexual nerd who got no game: fuck i messed up.
Turns out the monk have an older brother, and by "firstborn" the fey meant the one who came first in this generation. Plot twist: his older brother goes missing.
And then theres my version "I offered them my firstborn." "You don't have kids." "It's easy to give them my firstborn if they're the mother of my child." "..." "Our first dates tommorow c:"
278 years later (221 years after the monk's death), a young father is happy with his wife and firstborn, when a stranger knocks on his door. The stranger than says, that they came to collect.
@@chrisgomez1262 The monk reincarnated after being dead for 200 years (because it is that long that True Resurrection can bring you back). But that did not break the agreement.
That just means that the fey now has to get the monk to break the vow , with the fey getting increasingly more and more desparte as it fails, compelete with romcom shenanigans. Either that or it is going to one day just roofie the monk and have someone get it on with em.
During one of my RP the party had to negotiate for access to transportation to an island. They settle on negotiating with the Captain of a pirate ship. In exchange for passage to the island the Captain wanted a night in his cabin with the Bard. ... The bard was a femboy...
@@elifighter This one wasn't. They ended up fighting, taking over the ship and going anyway 🤣And this only worked because the bard took the captain hostage initially. But the party had a barbarian so... you know how it goes...
It seems like a great idea till the Fey pops up and reveals that they were aware of the vow, and now you have to work for them till you've payed off the value of a firstborn child.
Except the deal wasn't about payment of the value of his firstborn, but his firstborn. The Fey cannot force the monk to pay with something else, as that would be breaching their contract, which is against Fey nature
@@fabians7751 Well if you want to go that route, either the Fey would never accept the deal to begin with because they are aware of the vow, or as soon as they learned of the vow they teleport the monk and crew back into the middle of the forest and hunts them down like dogs for trying to pull a fast one. Or the Fey is very particular about it's wording. Like, "In order to give you passage, I demand something in return. Something valuable. Something like your first born child, perhaps". That wording is "Something like your firstborn child", not the firstborn child itself. Besides, semantical and "letter of the law" deals are how devils work. You could 100% trick a devil by offering your first born, and then never have a kid. Fey operate on intent and spirit of the deal. If you owe a debt to the Fey, they will collect it somehow.
@@FinalFantasyIXIIII you clearly don't know Fey legends. They are *the* letter of the law devils. They can't lie and are bound by their word, so they try to get the better of the deal through deception and trickery in the wording. Which is exactly what you argued in the paragraph before that... wording is how they get you, not intent or spirit.
"but sire, I don't think that monk is going to have children" "oh Ho HO, And That's exactly what I'm counting on my little subjects! I'm dying for some good entertainment!" *cue the archfey cursing the monk into becoming the new Tang sanzang from journey to the west, expect it's a porn parody of journey to the west*
In my setting, the Feywilde exists outside the flow of normal time (thus why its dangerous to go there, as if you leave wrong you'll end up god knows where and god knows when). As such, any fey strong enough to be bargained with is strong enough to view your entire life simply by glancing out of the veil. Meaning, in that specific situation, it agreeing to this means your gonna break your vow
Paladin: You bargained with a FEY to gain up passage through the woods? Monk: Don't make too much of it. Paladin: Wh- What did they did they demand for payment? Monk: My firstborn. Paladin: But you took an oath of celibacy when you became a Monk. Monk: Exactly
Fey after bargaining: "Too easy 😎"
"...wait. that actually WAS too easy. HOLD ON A SECOND-"
I feel like, depending on the fey, they'd find the trick hilarious.
@ChaoticGoodPeasant23 Most would.
"Fair play, that was really quite clever! I'm still going to turn you into a stoat, but it was clever nonetheless."
@@ChaoticGoodPeasant23that Fey would become a laughingstock for their peers for centuries to come
Jokes on all y'all. The Monk is now pregnant. Sure, he's a guy, but Fae Magic.
Plot twist: The fey is REALLY into the monk character and is just trying to flirt with a human the best that they can.
That's actually Kinda funny
"I wanna have your babies" is not a line that works for normal people either. lucky then, that the average dnd party has very few of those
@@comradewindowsill4253ngl it would work for me depending on who's getting pregnant and how good and loyal of a person they are. (Tho I wouldn't accept undead, demons or devils)
Basic Isekai anime plot #69 lmao
@@comradewindowsill4253I wanna have your babies.... Wouldn't work on you?!
To fae: i will give you my first born
Whispering to the camera: *bold of them to assume i will breed*
well, the fey has a bedroom for those contractees
@@potatoheadpokemario1931Well, bold of them to assume I have genitalia
@@potatoheadpokemario1931 Yup. And bargaining in bad faith puts you under their power so they can force you to break the oath of celibacy, and your faith and deity can't do shit because you made a bargain.
Fae: Ever seen Junior?
@@potatoheadpokemario1931 IT'S A WIN WIN!
Fey: "Your firstborn will be taken as payment."
Bard: "Good lucking figuring _that_ out."
Bard: "Deal and I wish you good luck in getting it away from that eldritch monster, man being in that cult was a weird and interesting time for sure."
Bard: “He’s a half dragon. He lives with his mom. Who is an elder gold dragon. Good luck with that.”
Character concept: A normal human (because that would be the bards first) just a normal effin' kid in the town, suddenly spirited away to the faerealm. Comes back as a fae warlock maybe? Probably out to hunt down their dad to punch him in the face.
@@seaborgium919 not my first choice of bodyparts
Me : well she is currently trapped in a radioactive zone under 20 miles of stone in a titanium bunker surrounded by cultist.
Fae: the fuck
Me : i pissed off there god now i have to get her back.
The fae: .... What the fuck did you do to piss him off
"In return for your help, you owe me... your firstborn."
"I AGREE."
"Um, you're a warforged."
"INDEED. HERE." (hands the fey a box)
* six months later *
"Me and my big ideas... okay, it says here to connect wire 14B to panel 6N, then screw it in clockwise... Which one is wire 14B, and what in the Winter Court's name is a Philips screwdriver?"
"ok, do I have any contracts with anyone mechanically inclined
@@thomasfoster7387 And that's how you ended up with modrons in the Feywild.
Okay, this is my favorite so far 😂
This feels like a really really good explanation for how you can have a warforged fey pact warlock.
It's a screwdriver you get from a guy named Philip any Philip will do
Fey: The payment is your firstborn
Bard: good fucking luck finding them
This is the origin story for
THE HALF DRAGON WARLOCK
Bard: "From which union?"
That would honestly be a pretty hilarious plot point.
@@leonhart1707 agreed
@@leonhart1707 Wait why do you have the same first born as 3 other men?
“ok it’s going to cost you $1,000,000”
“alright i’ll pay you when i get back”
Dies against final boss
@@pokebreederrichard1200 Fey will remember that.
Yeah, so, that's called being in debt. To a Fey. And that's a lot of debt. The only thing that might be worse is them owing you that amount.
That's like over 2800 gp
the classic fae trope of them letting you pass but you go in a circle right back to them
Let me try an interpretation of this:
-In a graveyard years after the adventure is over, there lays the monk's final resting place. Wild flowers have begun to be bloom over the grave. A single flower is plucked, the first to bloom. "Another flower to add to my bouquet. How beautiful you turned out"
This goes so hard as an after credits sort of scene for a campaign
That's actually very sweet
DAMN THAT GOES HARD
Could you explain it a little? I'm stupid.
@@allcorruptingwyrm5324 The wild flowers came from the monk and the Fey accepted the first flower to bloom as their first born.
"My first born."
BBEG suddenly disappears.
"Okay I have questions..."
Okay that would be a sick plot twist!
Bard. Always the Bard.
@@ladvargleinad7566 Bard's be almost as bad as Zeus sometimes
@@Atalas5Zeus was a bard. Why do you think he has so many kids?
@@Folkvarart nah, he was a paladin. otherwise he'd have caught something at some point, but you never hear of that, do you?
Reminds me of this one warlock who sold his soul to a demon, then signed a devils contract for more power. Got the two fighting each other he thought, but they tore his soul in half.
John Constantine?
Divorce?
Rogue: So, in exchange for safe passage through here for life, you ask for my firstborn.
Fey: Yes.
Rogue: Alright, so, you wanna do this at your place or....
Fey: What?
Rogue: I've not had a kid yet, so I figured easiest way to pay you is to uhh, well, get you pregnant.
Fey: ....you know what, just go.
EDIT: I get the bard would be more likely to say that, but ask yourselves before replying, would the bard absolutely be able to assure that's their firstborn?
i feel like this would fit a bard more...
@@orobos3378 was trying to avoid horny bard territory, especially since it’s very likely this wouldn’t be the first born
@@fireblast133 first born, with that specific fey.
*finger guns* ayyyy?
@@orobos3378
Okay *Bard*
Here's the thing, most Fae lore (outside of D&D granted) this is exactly what they would do. A fea creature most normally from the Winter side of things would make a deal in exchange for offspring and would be willing to either sleep with you themselves or have one of their vassals do so on their behalf. You get a favor and great sex. The problem is you've just doomed your child to grow up in WINTER which is just awful . . .
My Warlock bargained away his name to a fae to let the party out of a forest.
He had forgotten his name due to a 500 year timeloop, so he didnt mind giving it up
Your dm is gonna bite you in the ass and say that any trace of your character that has your name in it is now the feys position
I don't think you realize what you just did...
Possession
@@nicmalugin9287 i mean, The DM is very very chill so i doubt thats going to happen, but that sounds like itd be a fun twist
Hmmm that is quite interesting… how did you get into a 500 year time loop? @ArcusArmis19
Soon fae questions are going to be dating app levels, "do you want kids? Are you celebate? Are you asexual? "
They better, because I'm asexual AND won't ever have kids, even if I had sex, I'd do everything possible to prevent it 😂 Seriously, they have to start being more careful, we humans learn their tricks too >:]
@@rigure soon we will learn to trick fae into giving *us* their firstborn children
@@rigure same! They got nothing on us >:)
No. They will just mind control you to fuck or just straight up rape you to complete it if you try something like that
Fae would not care. Fae are generally egocentric.
I'd like to imagine the local archfey discovered the scam and blessed the party with free passage anyway on account of how hilarious they found the monk's play to be
That sounds about right. lol
yeah, there are three outcomes if you get one over the Fey like this
1: they find it hillarious and reward you
2: they are pissed, welcome to hell
3: you didn't get one over them, you just thought you did
@@rory8182 You forgot the stronger fae finding it hilarious and helping you.
And then the monk realised that it was a failed attempt at flirting by the Fey.
And now the Fey becomes a boss on a quest
A boss who's only goal is to get this monk laid 😂😂
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE-"
nah, fae respect trickery and deception without lies, since fae can't lie, but can deceive, the fae would only be mas if the monk outright said he would have kids, but since it "didn't come up" the fae would perceive it as being their own fault for being deceived, not the monks since he didn't actually lie.
@@Asherbird25”NO I TOOK AN OATH OF CELIBACY!!!!”
“I AM GETTING THAT NEWBORN EVEN IF I HAVE TO MAKE IT MYSELF”
“AHHHHHH”
@@isaacnelson4503 OMG mabye talk to you players before making the bbgs motive rape
Now I wonder how a warlock would handle that: Oh, they wanted my soul, and I really want to see them fight one of th Old Ones for it.
Unfortunately, neither of these would happen: Fey can innately sense if you have any other claiments/oaths/whatever that wod prevent them from collecting on the deal. But if they didn't .....
Fey- "In exchange for safe passage, I demand your soul."
Warlock- "Sure, have at it."
Deity Patron seeing the Fey try to take his soul- "WHOM DARE TRIFLE WITH THINE WARLOCK!?"
Fey- _sh*ts themselves_ "uhhhh.... Not me lol haha! Be crazy tho."
Or this
Fey: in exchange I demande your soul
Undead warlock: ok but you will have to face my friend
Fey: who his your friend
Warlock: him (a dracolich come from the sky)
@@uiuelite I mean, a dracolich vs an Archfey while IN the fairy realm? Im voting on the fey winning
::You wake finding yourself surrounded by butterflies and technocolored hair:: I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D ACCEPT THE TRADE!!!
It's all fine and dandy until the fey uses a love spell to "complete the contract"
I missed the part, where it's monks problem
@@GreedyDrunk92the part where the monk took an oath of cellebacy
Instructions unclear, they meet a Slaad and are now expecting.
@@Poleplant The monk ain't a paladin, so he won't lose his powers if he breaks the oath and it would be forced anyway, so most chill gods would forgive it anyway.
Why do you believe that amonk sworn to celibacy wouldhave sex just becasue they fall in love? What you need is a lust spell and even that isn't anywhere near a sure success.
The monk waking up pregnant next week:
I've been bamboozled
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of this.
Hand this EXACT sinario come up at my table. As soon as the pact was made, a child that resembled the player spawned before them and the archfey just walked off with him.
honestly this is the prime example of 'don't deal with the fae, but if you do...'
Not even a little no. The Fae do not care if you are celibate, they will set it up. They spike your food to make you sleep with someone they have assured will get pregnant. Or they will get creative and thats when things get messy. Like the Monk waking up pregnant.
Be gae
....make a deal about something you actually can and intend to pay. Trying to screw over the fae never goes well. This guy has rape of some sort in his near future, pretty sure.
When that monk eventually dies, they instead get Reincarnated as a baby who wakes up in the arms of that Fae, who smiles down on them and asks, "Remember me?"
Sounds like Legands of Zelda
Link and Zelda are constantly reincarnated
@@DarkAngelHeart2014Guy who has only played Legend of Zelda, hearing about the concept of reincarnation :
No he’s just very suggestible and heard the OOT music and related it to Zelda.
Fey wanderer warrior backstory. "There was a Fey with three lovely daughters and an adventurer with three sons . . ."
New Game+.
I mean, it could work. Fae tend to have issues with human concepts of time, this one might just end up waiting, checking in on thy monk to see if he's got a kid, sees he doesn't and just keep waiting.
They do tend to live longer, but a debt is a debt and they will collect. The moment they decide they want the debt collected, they will do it themselves.
@@TheLastSane1the debt would only come into play when the monk has a firstborn.
Rumplestilksin didn't start setting the lady up on dates. He just showed up when she had the baby
@@EstarileI men’s it the lady never planned on having a baby I’m sure rumple stil skin would have stealthily found the woman her dream guy
@@TheLastSane1 they would do it themselves you say?
sounds like they would just charm and make a kid with you and take it
@@Domel23 the most fucked up romcom setup
Adopt that fey
Pass skill check
Fey became first born of paladin
Complete task
That would make them their child but not their firstborn because as the name suggests they need to be born of them. So adoption doesn't count.
@@Nat.203 solution: F the fey
Had something like that happen with a fiend. My character had died because of a fae who froze and shattered his body. My character went to hell, crawled back out and returned in time to collect his own permafrosted eyeball from his previous body. He later promised one of his eyes to a fiend, simply requesting he could pick which one because he has a favorite one. He passed off the frozen eye and my DM finally understood why I hoard oddities.
I do prefer the other take on the 'bargain with Fae for your first born' "trick" (this is paraphrased/slightly summarized, and I'm pretty sure has come up on this channel? or maybe it was another one.)
Fae: your mother is healed. but will you be ready when the times comes to pay?
Human: Absolutely, when do we start?
Fae: I'm sorry?
Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.
Fae: yes? and you agreed?
Human: yeah, so, when do we start?
Fae: ...
Fae (blushing): Ah.
Lol
He could try to marry the fey by promising her as many children as she wants (or at least as many children he is capable of having before old age takes him lol)
Sounds like a really cursed romcom setup.
Character idea: The monk does this very often with many different creatures thinking because of his oath it will never happen. But one drunken night he gets a woman pregnant and now all of the beings have showed up to claim the child. You are the child and all of the creatures are trying to win you over like a stepdad trying to win your favor. You are a warlock because each being gave you a little bit of power to get you to choose them.
Goddamn this is a badass storyline. Please give me permission to use this as a plot for a short story... or a novel, perhaps. :D
Sounds a bit like God of War XD
Seven Deadly Sins Merlin.
Warlock but you have to roll a die every long rest to see which patron’s spells you get that day lol
@@lukecalumlyonwrath7723 That's what I was thinking!
Paladin- "What did they demand?"
Mage- "My first born. . . "
Bard- *eyes widening in realization*
Paladin- "but you don't have any kids. . . "
Mage- "I know. . .negotiation took ten minutes. The. . .actions after. . . That's why I was gone all night. . .she wanted her payment as soon as possible"
Bard- *smiling and hugging the mage* "I'm so proud of you!"
Paladin- *Confusion transforming into shock upon realization*
Imagine if the bard is the mage's actual father
@@Dawn_moon.8037 Then he'd be a sorcerer. Cause we all know Bards dont bang normies. lol
@@phoenixmastm still would be funny
Paladin- did you ask about leaving the feywilds
Mage- nope just jokingly asked them to take my virginity
Plot twist: The Fey meant the Firstborn *of the entire party, which included a Bard.*
“You took an oath of celibacy when you become a monk”
Me: “I had my fingers crossed behind my back
All of the players get cloned by the BBEG to fight them. Just as the monk's clone raises their fists, a group of fae appear and grab them, before disappearing.
😂 I'm so stealing that idea!
-frantically takes notes-
BBEG: Well shit
Just screaming "It technically counts!" as they make off through a portal into the feywild.
I'm imagining a Fae tossing a black bag of Clone Monks head and dragging him kicking and screaming into the faewilds.
Fey: "I will take you first born as payment."
Paladin: "Deal! No takebacks."
Fey: "That was too easy. Why were you okay with that."
Paladin: "A demon lord kidnapped my daughter and said I'd never see her again before dragging her to the Abyss. They don't legally have ownership of her and honestly she'd probably be better off with you."
That could go a few interesting ways from.
Fay: "I see, well, you have nine months to complete delivery of the payment.
to
Fay: *narrows eyes* "A demon lord has my child you say." *sounds of thousands of fey preparing for war*
While that first one is probably more realistic, I’ll be damned if that second isn’t used because that’s way too hilarious.
@@KW-de9sc You could really make an amazing off camera conflict from that little interaction, I do wonder what players would think when hearing about how the Fey -Demon war effects local politics.
@@KarlJeager I did actually try this with a cursed sword once. You know, that bullshit one that says you won’t part with it willingly. Tried being the keyword. I was going to wager it in a bet and purposefully lose so they’d have to remove the curse and fuck that sword man, because that fucking thing now takes precedent over all things in your life to the point it mind controls you. I called bullshit but I wasn’t the dm so not a lot I could do.
Gods help you that you aren’t an eldritch knight when you pick up that fucking curse because it makes it really difficult to get rid of it.
@@KarlJeagerget them to specify they take your child and you can guarantee the latter
Could always get the Fay pregnant…
Then it’s theirs regardless…😅
Bard did it, Monk didn't want a repetition.
Maybe this party didn't have a bard. Reasonable assumption.
been there done that got the eldritch blast t-shirt
D:
Strike a bargain with another fae or a witch that you'll give up your rights of fatherhood if they wish to have a child with you.
Monk: " Didnt say it had to be mine "
Fey: "Note to self: Specify first born child, not the first born of their flock. We've got too many goats as it is!"
😁
"If the Fey is hot I am not opposed them having my firstborn" - The Bard, Sorcerer, Archfey Warlock, Samurai or Fey Wanderer (add innuendo music here)
Later...
Monk: You're like a son to me!
*Fey appears* You owe me!
Firstborn though, not first claimed.
@@jeffy1862that can still be your firstborn or your last if you claim or adopt many and this one happens to be the youngest.
Could do that to the bbeg, boom two birds one stone
It needs to be his firstborn, not first adopted. The person would still be someone else's firstborn. If it were possible to just give away other's firstborns, don't you think everyone would just trade in firstborns of other people if that's what the fey are asking for?
Fey: alright Monk, time for payment, come with us
Monk: wait, I dont have a child yet
Fey: Yeah, that why we prepared a ritual to get you pregnant
I’m a boy
@@chrisgomez1262🫄
@@chrisgomez1262 clearly, why do you think we gone through the trouble of preparing a ritual? Some of us argued that we could just changed you to woman but whats the fun in that?
@@chrisgomez1262 yeah, might be hard to take out, but putting it in ain't a problem, lets go
@@4myzelf and a warforged
TFW the DM forgets why the noble scion is adventuring to attain glory and honors instead of ruling the duchy is he is sterile and his little brother isn't
actually, the fey would love this sort of trickery
Fey: “I will take your first newborn”
Bard: “Okay, let’s go make them.”
Never try to out rules lawyer the fae. They have no moral scruples to get in the way and they think of bending the rules like a game. They will absolutely enjoy tearing you down for even trying to cross them.
Be scared of fairies.
Honestly, I think they'd be at least sort of impressed, the fact never came up, so that is TECHNICALLY on them for not asking about any oaths of celibacy or issues that would prevent pregnancy.
@@flyboy6392doesn't matter to the fae. To them bargins and agreements are top of the list.
@flyboy6392 They might be impressed and even respect the monk's trickery. But won't stop them from seeking retribution or at least a way to complete the transaction.
They may be smart but you cant outsmart fire.
@@MyAramilDepends on the fae and the day.
They are extremely moody.
A friend came up with an awesome story for this.
Someone bargained warlock powers for their firstborn. Their would-be patron got fed up with waiting.
Boom! Imp child!
My man has learned how the fae are. You cannot lie but that doesn't mean you have to tell the truth.
True. When dealing with fae or devils, the fine print will either make or break you. You should always be the one who is technically correct, to the letter, on the details of the bargain
Except something was offered in exchange for something else. Something is owed. The fae will twist or defile their end of the bargain, but will never renege on completing the deal. Trying this would end in pain or disaster. Fact is, you owe the fae a debt. They'll find a way to collect.
@@erebos42Being technically correct only matters if the debt is still being paid. Otherwise it's still a breach of contract
@@jeremiahsnelson5644 the fae didn't ask if he would ever have a kid he simply stated they will receive his firstborn child. The fae might be angry but he hasn't broken any deal. He just has yet to pay up. And unless the fae specified when to pay up then oh well.
@@leviqueen1504 But he has to pay up eventually. Something was offered, a favor was given. The fae care more about favors than they do about contracts. He has *offered* something. He owes something. The fae will get it out of him, whether he likes it or not.
Human: So, when do we start?
Fey: ...If I may ask you to elaborate?
Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.
Fey: Yes? And you agreed?
Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?
Fey:
Fey, blushing: Ah.
Fae: “Give me your first born.”
Fae, receiving newborn: “Hmm… I did not realize how much poop there’d be.”
Monk becomes the "Parent" of some Orphan
Fey: Time to pay up.
New Quest Unlocked, Breaking a Contract
Technically that's not the first born. He didn't sire that orphan. Contract is still ongoing.
@@blackmark2899 technically first born doesn't have to be the monks bio kid. was not stated in the ToS. So any child he claims as his IS technically his first so a orphan would work.
Edit: before anyone says "his first born" I will say this. the orphan would be HIS FIRST. and the orphan was BORN. The terms never stated it had to be related to him or that he had to produce it. ToS are important! read them people.
@@aidendaniels4063 the exact wording is also important, as "first born" is different from "firstborn". the former is the first child of that person's who is born, the latter is their first official child born in wedlock.
@@edouardnigma1351 literally cut this off in my first message with a edit response. I am my parents firstborn even thou I am adoptive.
@@edouardnigma1351 but good to know you dont consider kids who are adopted as real kids of their parents. hope you never have kids.
Really, that's added value. If the monk is celibate, then any child of theirs would considered rare, thus, higher in value to a contract holder.
Most people are still limited to a maximum of one firstborn, though. Fey don't seem to care about "only child" status very often. Unless some kind of "probability of existing" is being measured, which is definitely a possibility for fay.
The fey hearing that conversation: "That cheeky bastard!"
The monk a few years later decides to live in a peaceful house close to a city where he lives with his pet
And Both are starting to get old
When he says “ you know you have always been like a son to me”
The fey shows up and takes the pet
Working again John?
Fey: "We want your firstborn"
JOKES ON YOU I AINT HAVIN KIDS. HAAAA
The Bard would've agreed and then knocked up the fae.
The alternative is to sell your soul upon death to multiple entities, then watch them duke it out to claim you soul, or they just don't claim it because the battle would cost more then a single soul is worth.
Free Power.
Out of character: Great plan, provided none of them have the foresight to mark your soul and say "this one is mine".
In character: Considering the various fates that await unclaimed souls in the world of D&D, I wouldn't.
Or they just broker a mutually beneficial deal.
Ah yes, the John Constantine approach.
Dude, this is what the Dovahkin does in Skyrim
The best option (in FR, at least) available is wandering in the gray wastes. Maybe, just maybe, you end up in the Crystal Spire, and Kelemvor judges you as False. At that point, you might end up tortured for eternity, or you might end up just having to hang around a bunch of other people who tried to game the system like you did. Probably depends on how many entities you made pacts with, and how many of them were Gods.
Later in the in the campaign:
Bard: Hey monk. I tried to get with a saucy wench earlier and she was looking for you.
Fey: I've come for your firstborn.
Monk: Oh well I took an oath-
Fey: I know. I've come to "personally" break it.
Monk: *concerned* What?
Bard: *getting their drama fix-excited" What?
Well his first times definitely going to be magical.
The next 4 hours would rattle the tavern so hard people drinking would think there’s an earthquake
When someone jokes about a woman getting raped it's insensitive.
But if it's about a dude? Go ahead!
@@anjafrohlich1170 who said the fae was female?
@@anjafrohlich1170 wasn't the monk referred to as "he" in the video, or an I misrembering?
Never make a bargin with a fae. They will get their payment.
That monk is gonna wake up pregnant.
@@TheLastSane1I never knew the fae were into mpreg
@@althelor a deal's a deal, its a question of the easy way or the hard way
edit: correction, in this context assuming prental love, the hard way or the hard and horrifying way
Fae always do...
EXACTLY! Did whoever thinks this is a good idea ever watched nsfw?!
The SECOND the monk gets a pet he really loves, the Fae is going to come to collect it. :(
Later that week -
Random Fae - "Hey! You're that celebate mortal that promised Jim Paul your firstborn for passage, right?"
Monk - "I am."
Random Fae - *Looses shit as they fall over laughing* *Gets back up* "Good shit. Good shit. Big fan of of your work, just wanted to see you in person before he made it his purpose in life to make you regret it. Toodles!"
A vow of celibacy is an obstacle, for sure, but not a deal breaker for the Aes Sídhe. They do not lack in imagination.
I guess how it turns out will depend entirely on the mood of the fae you bargained with.
Maybe they find you amusing, and that's good enough.
Maybe they figure you'll probably break the oath at some point, so it's just a matter of patience.
Or they just transform you into what ever animal has the most horrifying method of reproduction. Something something "traumatic insemination."
Exactly. They will get what is owed to them whether the Monk consents or not.
@Ninjat126 ah yes... Ducks. No, I absolutely will not explain this any further. The knowledge I have was not gained willingly and shan't be repeated
@@belatedcascade5Hah...ducks. So Vanilla. Try a female Sea Louse. o_o
If there's one thing I learned from mythology: tricky supernatural beings will always get what they're promised
Demon: You own me your soul
Me: Get in line
SpongeBob made a joke about that
Constantine, that you?
Knowing fae from old legends, that monk is in for a struggle snuggle sometimes soon
you mean rape?
@@aeternusthegoat yes
"Give us your firstborn"
"Yea cool" (his first child is dead so all children after that are safe)
This is how you get a horde or carnivorous orchids pursuing you.
If they are being nice.
DM: after what felt like hours of running from, what seemed to be an army of ungodly shrieking and howling, you finally make it to a clearing at the edge of the woods.
Roll a saving throw.
Monk: *Wut*
…Shhhhhhhhhit!
DM: …well?
Monk: (agonized sigh) what do you think?!
DM: …you suddenly feel the tightening of vines around your legs. You feel paralyzed yet you don’t feel as though you’d been stung nor stabbed.
A deep sensation of dread and foreboding crawls the length of your spine as an arm gently wraps over your shoulder, a large, soft mass compresses up into your back, and a deeply sultry, breathy voice grazes the edges of your earlobe…
“Where do you think you’re going, *celibate.”*
Monk: h- how did you-?
“Oh I hear *everything~* in these woods”
Monk: …uh- I-
“See, here’s the deal, my austere acolyte~. *You* have promised me your first born and *I* have *granted* you passage.
I am *willing* to wait nine months. I *may* have the patience to wait an entire *year,* but I *Refuse* to wait an *Eternity!*
You may give me what I want, now! …or you can become fertilizer for the orchids. Take your pick, the clock is ticking.”
Monk: 😳
Other players: 😳🫣🫢😏👍
DM: 😈
@@pirateswiggity5278hm, i wonder who 😏 is, oh well, i guess that is a mystery we shall never know
@@AndroidGames-cd8jx
When is it not the fucking bard
Meanwhile, the Fey is fully aware of the Monk's celibacy due to Speak With Plants, and now plans to use some magic fuckery to force them to have a child.
I'm getting Evil Dead flashbacks... Make them stop.
Send in sexy plant people, if that doesn't work then send in the vines
Oh NO, the Vines... They're too fresh...@@ElishaFollet
you mean rape
@aeternusthegoat Not necessarily, although that may be an option depending on the tone of the story. It could be "merely" arranging circumstances to maximise the chance of that monk breaking their vows: ensuring that the sort of people they'll be most attracted to meet them, etc. No coercion, magical or otherwise, has to be involved. Just carefully optimised temptation, and perhaps offering a warlock of theirs a deal to seduce the monk. Note that I still consider this morally questionable, but fay aren't well known for sharing human morality.
Literally our party in our session today:
Rich dude: I want to pay you to do this job.
Party, not liking the rich people in this place: half the money up front?
Rich dude: okay *gives 76gp *
Party: thanks * fucking ghosts the dude *
I mean... yea that works though it's a quick path towards getting hounded for not upholding your end of the deal.
@@ianraymo350exactly. DM's will often give players like that reputations, and people looking for them.
And that is a good way to never get jobs again. Regardless of your opinions on the matter, if you take a job, you should do it because if you dont, no one is going to trust you with work.
@@marcusreading3783 oh for sure, under regular circumstances. But this is dnd, the circumstances are rarely regular. The thing is our party is on a big quest to create a revolution and getting all the jobs from the criminal underworld anyway. And our contact told us not to go to the authorities, not to tell them anything. And this rich dude works for the city which means he is the authorities.
DISGUISE SELF or have a party member go up to the rich men using minor illusion to change their appearance and having them change their voice to do it
The Fae don't like it when they get tricked. Expect consequences.
Monk's smug right up untill the birthing pains start
WORST. KIDNEY STONE. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bbeg turns out to be the bastared of the monk from before he took his oath so when the fae comes to collect the bbeg gets wisked away to an entirely different plane. The fae wants to release the monk from the obligation after realizing who his first born is but the monk forces the fae to follow through by holding it to the terms of the contract
The only better answer is "Alrighty now that the deal is struck, when do we start."
and then Monk has a magic child of some kind that doesn't break his oath and that's when the Fey asks for her payment
"I'm here to collect my payment."
"But I'm celibate."
"I don't see how that's my problem."
are you implying the fae is going to rape the monk?
@@aeternusthegoat "To be honest, your compliance isn't a factor."
@@rpghorrorstories are you trying to rp rape with me?
@@rpghorrorstories u know cloning is a thing? I'm sure there's a dnd equivalent, so why assume the worst?
@@someone433 Because fae are known to be complete dicks.
Plot twist, Monk actually had a kid who has already died due to a sickness which is why they became a monk in the first place, to help grieve the loss of their child.
Fey: death by snu snu! We are getting your first child!
its rape, not "snu snu".
@@aeternusthegoatwould
@aeternusthegoat pretty sure that's what snu snu is
Offer your first born but don't disclose they're 27 and are living on your couch
Monk:*after returning* son you got a job now, in the fey wilds
Dammit. I'm 27 and living at home. Lol.
The monk, 6 months later: "What the hell is mpreg??"
Something that primates don’t have.
@@jonathanwells223 Something Primates "DIDN'T" have. Never fuck with the fae. They reject your reality and substitute their own.
Human is primate 2.0@@jonathanwells223
That Fae is going to get that first born whether the monk like it or not.
I've always been a fan of the response: "Ok let's get started. *drops pants*"
Remember fey always check for paths of celibacy. Thats how they getcha. The fey accidentally agreeing to take the first born of an asexual nerd who got no game: fuck i messed up.
As long as the vow isn't magically binding the fey can force him to break it quite easily
Turns out the monk have an older brother, and by "firstborn" the fey meant the one who came first in this generation. Plot twist: his older brother goes missing.
Depending on the group and the boundaries they’ve set; that fey might not *ask* for payment.
you mean rape?
@@aeternusthegoat yes
@@aeternusthegoatalternatively the monk gives birth
Bard: honestly, if you can help me find him, he's yours.
Honestly, I feel like the fey would be highly amused by this, enough to let it slide.
Fey law would certainly be on the monks side in this one too, as it is exactly sort of technically abiding by the contract fuckery the Fae go for.
And then theres my version
"I offered them my firstborn."
"You don't have kids."
"It's easy to give them my firstborn if they're the mother of my child."
"..."
"Our first dates tommorow c:"
The Bard solution.
I swear I've seen this kinda shit happening in a comic before
If it was an actual fae, this conversation would be after impregnating her.
That monk ain’t leaving the feywild without breaking that vow
278 years later (221 years after the monk's death), a young father is happy with his wife and firstborn, when a stranger knocks on his door.
The stranger than says, that they came to collect.
Explain
@@chrisgomez1262I'm assuming they are implying reincarnation
@@chrisgomez1262 The monk reincarnated after being dead for 200 years (because it is that long that True Resurrection can bring you back).
But that did not break the agreement.
@@frantisekvrana3902 oh
@@frantisekvrana3902 That's a different person, though, one that never agreed to any deal.
Dealing with fae, as a fae would. 😂
The Fey, “Either we fuckin or I’m fuckin”
And that's when the DM introduces the love of their life or a tavern wench from before they were a monk
That just means that the fey now has to get the monk to break the vow , with the fey getting increasingly more and more desparte as it fails, compelete with romcom shenanigans.
Either that or it is going to one day just roofie the monk and have someone get it on with em.
I’d read that
Oh, *that's* why they give monks immunity to poison!
The more you know...
Stillness of Mind, and Putity of Body cover a lot of roofie vectors...
Or the fae just seduces the monk
@@torg2126then I’ll just cast Black Tentacles
I like the bard varian deal with a devil for first born "So, how you doing 😉"
“It will cost you your firstborn”
“Alright! When do we start?”
Everything I know and d&d has come from these shorts and I absolutely love this channel 😭
During one of my RP the party had to negotiate for access to transportation to an island. They settle on negotiating with the Captain of a pirate ship. In exchange for passage to the island the Captain wanted a night in his cabin with the Bard.
...
The bard was a femboy...
Ehe!
Pirates and sailors in general are like hella gay or at least bi
@@elifighter This one wasn't. They ended up fighting, taking over the ship and going anyway 🤣And this only worked because the bard took the captain hostage initially. But the party had a barbarian so... you know how it goes...
It's not gay if it's underweigh, as the Navy says
@@torg2126 lmao
It seems like a great idea till the Fey pops up and reveals that they were aware of the vow, and now you have to work for them till you've payed off the value of a firstborn child.
you are the first person ive seen that didn't gladly say that the monks going to get raped. good job.
@@aeternusthegoat what do you think "work to pay off the value of a firstborn child" means?
Except the deal wasn't about payment of the value of his firstborn, but his firstborn. The Fey cannot force the monk to pay with something else, as that would be breaching their contract, which is against Fey nature
@@fabians7751 Well if you want to go that route, either the Fey would never accept the deal to begin with because they are aware of the vow, or as soon as they learned of the vow they teleport the monk and crew back into the middle of the forest and hunts them down like dogs for trying to pull a fast one.
Or the Fey is very particular about it's wording. Like, "In order to give you passage, I demand something in return. Something valuable. Something like your first born child, perhaps". That wording is "Something like your firstborn child", not the firstborn child itself.
Besides, semantical and "letter of the law" deals are how devils work. You could 100% trick a devil by offering your first born, and then never have a kid. Fey operate on intent and spirit of the deal. If you owe a debt to the Fey, they will collect it somehow.
@@FinalFantasyIXIIII you clearly don't know Fey legends. They are *the* letter of the law devils. They can't lie and are bound by their word, so they try to get the better of the deal through deception and trickery in the wording. Which is exactly what you argued in the paragraph before that... wording is how they get you, not intent or spirit.
"but sire, I don't think that monk is going to have children"
"oh Ho HO, And That's exactly what I'm counting on my little subjects! I'm dying for some good entertainment!"
*cue the archfey cursing the monk into becoming the new Tang sanzang from journey to the west, expect it's a porn parody of journey to the west*
Elaborate
Look up OSP’s journey to the west part 9, it should make you understand
Honestly, the Monk should be a warlock with negotiating skills like that.
The Fey: In return for this favor, i lay claim upon your firstborn.
The Bard: alright, bend over.
The Fey: Wait no-
In my setting, the Feywilde exists outside the flow of normal time (thus why its dangerous to go there, as if you leave wrong you'll end up god knows where and god knows when). As such, any fey strong enough to be bargained with is strong enough to view your entire life simply by glancing out of the veil.
Meaning, in that specific situation, it agreeing to this means your gonna break your vow
Meanwhile mine didn't have a vow of celibacy, now has a half fae daughter who (because of some time mess in the fae wilds) is our team's Druid
Monk been taking cues from the bard for that particular deal.
Fey: You have defaulted on your payment, prepare to be turned into a tree.
Paladin: You bargained with a FEY to gain up passage through the woods?
Monk: Don't make too much of it.
Paladin: Wh- What did they did they demand for payment?
Monk: My firstborn.
Paladin: But you took an oath of celibacy when you became a Monk.
Monk: Exactly