The Danger of Holding Out for "The One"
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
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I've been friends with a guy for years, started spending time with him. One day I realized how many qualities he has that I like. He finally asked me out, and I am delighted to have such an amazing man. Because so many people speak of "The One" and believe that, they pass over some amazing people. This guy wouldn't normally be on my radar, but we fit beautifully together. We get along so well.
awwwh ☺
Not remotely true.
I've listened to a good number of youtubers , but there's something about your channel, the topics you choose, your insight, and the knowledge you give out that makes you exceptional . Thank you Mr and Mrs Hussey
Puhleazzz. You and basically all other women wouldn't have given a sh... if he wasn't as good looking as he is. His channel would never been this popular if he was an average guy doing what he does. There's plenty guys with a channel on YT with good messages about these topics, but none of them bar a few, are gaining traction.
@@R.James. well, I never talk down on good things like riches and beauty, so if you say he's attractive then glory be to God 😊 that's wonderful. If you had to choose you would choose to be handsome too. But in the part of the world where I come from, men doesn't necessarily have to be handsome, physically they just need to be well built, strong, and healthy which is something any man gain attain with enough effort. Then if he is intelligent and insightful then he is truly what a man should be. I see that in him and if I see something good I always acknowledge it no matter who
@@Sustainablewealth777 Lol that is exactly my point. Good looking is the whole package, it's not just his face but his body as well. So let's put it this way, say the average of both of those combined has to be in the good looking range which means he's attractive to most women.
So if he wasn't as attractive as he is women would've never given him and the word he spreads a chance. Resulting in barely any clicks on his YT videos, making him never become popular.
So circling back to your original comment: No his messages aren't really exceptional, you and most women on this channel just think that and take him serious since he's such a good looking man.
@@R.James. if his messages isn't as insightful, why did you notice that he dropped a video and why did you watch. Please let's leave all these pretty privileges of a thing and be a sincere. Why don't you try putting something insightful out, I promise I'll watch 😊
@@Sustainablewealth777 The point is that his looks got him this fame. His channel grew to this point because women are into him. Had he been not so good looking, hardly any woman would've clicked his first few videos back when he started YT. He's probably still be on a few thousand subs maybe or even had quit by now.
No matter how 'good' his messages are, you AND all the women who made this YT popular (as you all click his videos and/or subbed to it) likely (I guess like 99% of women) clicked on whatever random Matt Hussey video first because of his looks, not so much the title. Only then afterwards they stayed for the content and partially his look as well. But again, women got pulled into his content because of his looks initially. And women tend to forget about this or do not realize it or some simply won't admit it.
You guys are stupid adorable. It’s hard not to believe in fairytales when you two sit across from each other filming podcasts, deferring to each other and giggling. I can imagine you sitting across from each other in 20-30 years filming podcasts in a similar way 💓
Very well said especially about the friends part. If you’re going to feel a twinge of jealousy or sadness when they meet someone else, want to flirt with them, or subconsciously looking for ways to be closer to them than their new significant other, then your “friendship” is a byproduct of a romantic fantasy in your head.
My God, Audrey is A Blessing. You both chose well. The green plant environment is very pleasing. Thank you.
This is so so real and so important. I was in one of those ~hopeful~ "friendships" for 11 years. I had to break it off completely (it's been about a year and a half no contact) and it was so hard but it worked! I'm finally in a healthy relationship with someone who actually returns my feelings :') thank you for everything you teach!!! ♡
I had a list in my mind what my partner should have... well, it was lot's of superficial things. Then I changed my perspective and found the love of my life ❤ he's not what I wanted from my list but all what I needed. I'm started with Matthew's advices 6 years ago. Now I'm almost 5 years happy and 3 years married. Still it's not always easy to have a successful relationship and most times I'm the problem because of traumas in my life. But it's worth it ❤
That's because you preferred alpha masculine charming guys who you are instantly attracted too, and wouldnt consuder being just friends.bbut went for the nice guy who treats you like a precious gem stone. At first you said he's nice and sweet but there's no spark or chemistry. Later on you said fk it - good enough.
@@nap871 no, not really. My husband is more alpha than my ex ever was. He's has his own mind and is really good looking even better than my ex. Speaks always the truth. My ex told only things for his benefits and manipulates all the time. Also my husband is not avoidant. That's the big difference. I had chosen guys who would keep me distant and have only the superficial things checked. The spark back then I only had if I feel a distance, that was a long time ago. Chasing is for the forest not for a successful relationship. Now I have real sparks in my life. If miss my husband if I on a business trip like crazy and he makes me happy more than I thought it could be possible. But my bad childhood brings up trauma. That's also my chasing came from. Never have the feeling of being good enough or know how to handle security. I would never settle anymore for anybody who's not worthy. Better be alone than in a bad relationship...
My answer is gone... so once again. No, not really. My husband is more alpha than any of my exes. He has a own opinion and always is honest. Better looking than any of my exes as well. The biggest difference was that I have been unconsciously chosen the avoidant guys. That was my list. My ex before my husband was the best example for that. Always lying and manipulating even for small things. And all of that was because of my childhood trauma. Only feeling sparks if I have to prove of being worthy. With my husband is was and is totally different. But video's of Matthew and therapy help me. I would never ever go for a relationship like that again. Better be alone than with such a person... And it's not only because he's a good guy. He has so much more on the table which before him I don't even consider to be possible. So nobody is perfect but for me he is and I'm for him. That's all was matters.
@@nap871 Been on some manosphere vids lately ? It is interesting how you make up stuff about a stranger on the internet - and as the answer shows you were off. That is the problem with those channels: lots of grifters that cater to the feelings of men that feel hard done by by real or imagined slights and disadvantages. AND they torture and bend their ideas how humans evolved. Evolutionary psychology isn't really a thing and certainly these males have no real idea about ethnology (as an academic field).
@@nap871 young females (and males) have immarture criteria for selecting partners and it is relatively new in THIS society that they can also only look for mating partners. So that creates some distortions - especially ! online. Everyone talks about 20 % of the males getting 80 % of the matches - but that is ONLINE *.
Women get more matches - and as it needs some time to sort through them - of course they tend to raise their critera. HR does the same, when they get a lot of applications, they get stupid with what they ask for. This is a human thing, not a male or female behavior.
Those recent hiccups do not prove the half assed theories of the manosphere grifters. and the bit that kinda fits - applies to a certain age group. In the United States, not so much in other wealthy countries.
In the U.S:: Still partriachal structures along with a lot of women doing fine financially AND a highly competitive society in general.
Women allegedly being always on the lookout for a "better" man is not even true for the U.S. Let alone for other highly developed nations like France, Germany, Switzerland, Canada.
I do not fault the U.S. women being (subconscioulsy) influenced by society to look more for wealth than their sisters in other nations. Apart from the societal pressure (and that is a remainder from the time when males 100 % run the show) there are real practical considerations.
In the U.S. the income decides whether you get healthcare or not (good & timely ! care, and the current insurance "solution" does shit for you if you have a costly CHRONIC disease because the co-pay will hit you every year anew.
Since not so long the finances (and status coming from that) also determines whether you can end an unviable pregnancy and whether you can avoid to have a child that is going to die or that is going to deplete all energy or money because the (lifelong) care it needs.
Wealthy couples can go to another state and get the procedure done. Their doctors (that serve the affluent) will not rat them out (a pregnancy ended, I as the doctor do not know why), and Republicans will also not bother them with prosecution (and if they would be stupid enough, the families will have the money to pay for good attorneys). Republicans will go after low income / low- status families / women that have miscarriages (or they mask abortions as miscarriages) - but only if they are low income, and preferably people of color. The hell a (typically Republican leaning) DA will target white middle class suburban families - because those people can hit back, and as targets will get sympathy from other Republican voters. People _like them._
It is not that long that the reproductive capacity of young people was not that important and only used later. In the 50s and 60s a LOT of young folks married between the age of 20 and 30 and also became parents - it is new that this is not NORM anymoe.
That's a nice background. I like the dynamic between Mrs Hussey and her husband. Sometimes, partners can be awkward but they are not.
I watched the show and was also thinking the same thing about the feeling of holding onto someone. I did it for a few years with someone and have had great success since moving on. Similar to that “twin flame” energy!
You guys addressed alot in this video that resonates my love life currently. I do feel watching this is divine timing, actually. I have been in a romantic friendship for years. I kept telling myself, she wasn't the one, that I didn't want her, that she wasn't attractive enough, etc. But lately I have been doing some deep inner child work and uncovered alot of not enoughness on my part. I don't know how to receive love because I've never had it and was imprinted with self-hate from a very young age, and if I had it, I sabotaged it. And here I am, 42, realizing that I am doing this again with her. She recently drew some firm boundaries with me and it hurt like hell. I've realized that it would crush me if she moved on with someone else and when she is not in my life, I think about her constantly. I've realized that I love her, that I feel safe, seen and heard with her. This is the type of love I've been looking for but I've been rejecting it for years bc I have been looking for love from my ego's perspective (shiney new object, unpredictable, inconsistent, bombshell, lusty kinda love). Last night, I made a list of all the qualities I want my ideal partner to have and she checks off all of those, every single one. I do believe I have been addicted to the chase and hope of finding "the one" and when I get rejected or date a toxic person, the self fullfilling prophecy becomes true "no one will ever love me". However, I have come to realize that love has been staring at me for a few years and I rejected. I've realized there is comfort/familiarity in rejection, either I am the one doing the rejecting or I find someone to reject me and then the false belief becomes true "i am unloveable". You guys touched on this, the subconscious pattern of "you like me, there must be something wrong with you" and "this is too easy, there must be something wrong with her". And so this neverending quest for love continues, it's so sad because I think its rooted in the fear of diving deep with someone and the not enoughness mentality so we continue deflecting love. I'm so glad I am doing the deep inner child work because I would not have been able to make these profound connections in my relationship patterns and childhood trauma. My search for love was being driven by the ego, a status symbol/the hottest person I can get. But the deeper I dig into my past, the clearer my values in a partner become, the more I realize what I need vs what I think I want. I've done so much inner work for many years and finally arrived at the point where I am looking at my relationship patterns and feel blessed that I have an opportunity at healthy love. I hope this helps whoever reads this.
I have had to live stories in my head since childhood. Real life was frightening. Chaotic, unpredictable, violent. 😢 Turning that around and learning to love myself and another.❤
I ALWAYS thought no matter who I was with that there’s someone better out there for me…always thought the grass was greener…until I met the girl I’m currently with a month ago. I don’t look at anyone else
Just a matter of time.
There is no person in the world that is going to make you stop from looking at the other grass, you have to put an end to that yourself. Be satisfied with what you have and grow together towards something that is even better. I had 3 relationships, the first one was fulfilling, but we were young and in the long run I wasn't happy anymore with the energy I put into it, the second one was very unfulfilling while the partner herself was awesome, and the last one, while it ended after 4 months, was probably the person I was the most happy with, and not because there was nothing better for me, there sure is, always, but because I was happy with what I had, what we mutually gave ourselves. Unfortunately, I wasn't the one for her in the end, which is a shame, but I learned that it is very important to categorically doubt the "is it greener on the other side" questions, because they are irrelevant. (this doesn't mean you shouldn't question think the grass is greener if you could have partner that doesnt physically or verbally abuses you). But there will always be a prettier partner waiting for you, or a smarter one, or a nicer one. But humans are packages and if you can deal with the one you have, that is BIG in itself.
what makes her different from the other women? : )
MAN was I wrong! Nevermind. This one was also a narcissist, just a different type of
Ha! You keep picking shit people. Your addicted to the high..
I was in a friendship like that for a few years and it was one of the most painful things and kept me from finding or seeking a real relationship. That friendship ended abruptly without closure after we went on a vacation together and he never spoke to me again. I later came to realise that it was actually limerence, and even though it’s been a year and a half since it ended I’m still recovering and mourning what this friendship / attachment stole from me and that I allowed it to go on for so long
Good for you for knowing that it was limerence and admitting to it. It will be difficult but it will be worth it ant the end. Get help from a therapist if you can.
Regarding limerence - I reccommend the channel Following Fenna. Short vids, insightful, relevant, concise - and kinda funny. She is making fun of herself as well - as a recovered limerent that now counsels people. Fenna said she wanted also to post on things like burn out and self love - but she started with limerence which she knows from personal experience. She got so many reactions that she concentrates on that with her youtube uploads - for the time being.
@@franziskani I watched A LOT of videos on the topic while I was dealing with getting out of it so now I don't really consume related content. It kept me stuck in a way. I now have no interest in ever talking to that person again and feel remorse for the painful years I robed from myself by being so delusional. It got me really sucked into the whole manifestation coaches and all sorts of mess. Now I have much more peace and I have lost all interest in romantic relationships.
I'm in this spot now! I feel broken.
I'm two months in. Still looking for that dopamine hit. But she's gone
I enjoy the podcast with and without Audrey although, she truly adds so much value to this channel. When she comes on after being absent for a bit, it feels like a special wonderful treat (like when my Mum used to make dessert on Friday evenings, back when I was a child. It felt so special).
I'm 44 and always held a candle for someone. I'm used to it. No real-life-guy ever could break this chain. I've been in relationships, but never with somebody I've loved. Today I think, it's better to have these fantasies which make me feel alive, than beeing with someone who doesn't get you feel anything. Both ways are painful.
Will you go on a date with me? Any chance?
So true I left my last relationship feeling like that.
I’m stopping your video to write this comment.
I haven’t been following you for past 1-2years, and was hesitant whether i trust your authenticity. Now i 100% do and more open for the message BECAUSE of your partner. She is great! 😊 Congratulation on finding each other ❤
As per the novel, the 'One Day' of the title refers to St.Swithin's Day (July 15th) ~ the day they met in summer and the day we drop in on the lives of Em and Dex for the two decades that follow. According to the folklore, if it rains on St Swithin's Day, it will rain for 40 days; ditto if the sun shines.
Interesting! Thanks for that titbit.
The show makes that format super clear, they have a calendar reel at the start of each episode to illustrate that its the same day but the following year. I thought it was mental that these two missed it
Love to her Audrey’s perspective! She is amazing and so thoughtful! You two together are incredible
Need Matt and Audrey to make another video after finishing the last two episodes of One Day!!!!!
✨Yeeees please!!✨
Ha yes! I read the book so know how it ends and deliberately didn't watch the last 2 episodes because I'm fragile rn and want to live in denial lol
Oh Audrey, thank you so much, for raising the point on how exhilarating the feeling of seeing someone for the first time and experiencing that strong connection across the room. It can be so powerful but, can cause one to lose your head and go completely mad :); you raised an excellent point. The challenge I guess, is to get beyond that point.
It's called One Day because in the movie and the book, they meet up or call each other on the anniversary of when they met.
Also Audrey is fabulous and I love hearing her perspective on things. I find it often resonates with me. Matt you're great too! Big love to you both and thanks for all you share! 🤍✨
More Audrey please 😍She is amazing and the conversation between you and 2 perspectives makes the videos more interesting
Love Matthew. Love Audrey. Love Matthew and Audrey. You unpack the issue and give us all the facets, good and not so good, in a gentle and kind way. No judgement. Thank you!
I think the film adaptation of the same name was heart wrenching... I'm not sure the series is the same plot as the film, but it's worth watching. But be prepared to feel all the feels. Life is short, enjoy the little things, and try to spend your time with the people that make it easy to be yourself around them ❤️❤️ Thank you Matthew and Audrey!
I want to live happily no matter what!
Love the relaxed casual look and that you are so happy to be married ❤
I need something to change!
Can’t wait for the book!
My favorite ones are the ones where you and Audrey do the podcast together. She makes your RUclips channel even better.
She is so beautiful and speaks in a calm grounding way❤
I love Audrey. Cannot get enough of her perspective. You complement each other ❤
Only 2 minutes in and I can see how comfortable you both are with each other ❤️
There's good one's, bad ones, but no 'the one'.
I'm beginning to believe too,🥺
There's couples who have been happily married for decades to "the one." @@Sustainablewealth777
@@Sustainablewealth777 That's a good thing
This was an amazing conversation since I’m going through something so similar. Holding on to years of a relationship. Knowing it will never work. But the hope is what drives us both.
You did a really great job, thank you so much for sharing!
You are the kindest, friendliest, and most handsome RUclipsr I have ever watched!
I hope everyone support you, everyone please share, like and subscribe! 👍🤩🙏
Dear Matthew and Audrey, I found your channel only 2 weeks ago, and it has already transformed my life and how I look at my past relationships. Now I look forward to start a new, healthy love story 🎉❤ thanks
I have to say orange is down there in my least favorite colors but I didn’t even realize the book cover being that color till now! Still doesn’t change the fact that I have preordered and cannot wait to get this book!! In regard to what or which type of podcast, I personally like the ones like this, where you both dressed n acting comfy, and talking about important day to day topics.
Matthew you have helped me so much in the past and thank you! I am so happy seeing you grow and change successfully with your beautiful wife where you compliment each other wonderfully ❤️
Brilliant. You're not allowing to space for love when that space is occupied by a story that was never real. I love the way this concept is laid out in this podcast
I’ve come to believe that some people are completely terrified of the emotional pain they’ll feel if they push for an answer. I’ve seen friends do it, they stay and stay and it drives me batty to see that. It’s a combination of becoming conditioned to the circumstances and inadequate emotional processing skills. They’re paralyzed to do anything about it. It would be great to hear your take on the subject of people’s fear of experiencing emotional pain. It’s deeply somatic in my opinion and too debilitating for some to invite change.
These situations are rough to get out of...the what if keeps me holding on. I think it's tough to get out of because there isn't anything really bad going on as far as abuse. But it can take a mental toll. Not sure how I got here. Thanks for your videos!
There is a reason I don't date men who has a best girl friend. They are probably in love and either don't know it or won't accept it.
I totally agree. Also if they say they are best friends with their ex and still hang out. No thank you!
I remember watching One Day starring Anne Hathaway. Can't wait to check out the remake!
Good show! It is shot on the same day in July throughout many years
I knew it! It should be “One Day”. 😊
Hey, dear people, I want to say "thank you". I was in search for something I could not even decide or have an exact question to (but it was a certain topic). Smith clicked inside - first emotionally and on the next day again consciously. P.S. not always sure about those comments here, but the digital world of nowadays is full of weird things, sewing doubts into the minds of ours, so why not spread smth constructive there, if it is honest? ❤ Stay happy and well tuned...
If I'm being honest, when you first started bringing Audrey with you, I felt that she was a bit hesitant, perhaps as means to not over shadow you or say sonething "wrong", because she knows how much this is important to you, and those episodes were a bit less interesting, but I feel that since then there has been a shift - you seem more comfortable together on the podcast, and Audrey brings AMAZING female points of view that I dare say are sometimes even challenging in terms of what answer you will give, and it adds another level of complexity that otherwise might have been overlooked or missed, and I love that! And she articulates in such a great manner, that I love her input and feel that it helps me too.
I am less fond of episodes where you bring in guests. I mean, some of them I love and follow myself (like Dr. RAMANY❤), but sometimes it is less interesting to me, because I feel like their thoughts about certain things are more of "vague" lessons, whereas when you put in your thoughts about a topic, I feel it is clearer and more comorehensive.
BTW
This episode hit a chord for me, as I was feeling deeply connected to an ex-boyfriend that has wasted so many years of my life, even when I thought we can "just be friends", that Audrey's comment on that was spot on. Luckily, I was already listening to your podcast during the pandemic, so that lesson has been long time learnt, but it still brought back some sad memories of that situation, and I wish I knew your podcast 10 years ago.
All of your content but particularly whatever you have with Audrey.
There's no such thing as "the one" it takes 2 people who have chemistry, connection and compatibility to make a conscious decision to want to build something together
You need to watch Ambika’s performance in ‘This is going to Hurt’ on the BBC. She will rip your heart right out with her performance & the moment I realized she was in One Day, I didn’t even hesitate in binging it, I just knew it would be great. 👏
I love the way YOU appreciate her on minute tbings
These podcasts amazing. I have learned all new insights.
Unfortunately, real life does not always work out...and there is no happily ever after or for a period, etc it does not exist.
But the podcasts are on point and awesome.
The show, each episode, takes place the same day once a year.
I really like you Matthew and Audrey seems a lovely person; very happy for you, but wow the chemistry between you both is palpable!!! 😅
The show, each episode, takes place the same day once a year. July 15th.
Every episode is one day - the same day - every year 😀
For the record, I love the color orange! It's one of my favorite colors. lol
And yes, I'll be ordering the book.
That book cover.. omg.. Orange, how could you😁😁 I think you both are amazing poeple and i love to watch your video's, it always gives me so much peace and a new way to look at love. Just wanted to say, thank you both for just being you💎 greatings from Holland x
You and Audrey for the win!
Watch the original movie 'One Day' with Anne Hathaway made from the actual book, don't worry about the new TV show. The movie is an epic feel itself without any unnecessary added extras as filler. Have a tissue box ready!
Ps. Great talk guys, always relevant!
Imagine a teacher or guidance counselor having that speech about ‘cool kids’. Some men don’t grow up, they grow down.
11:15 wow this show is me. 2 months in and I'm still longing for that dopamine hit. I still feel we can connect in a genuine way. We went too fast, i didn't spow it down, and now shes gone.
This is a brilliant channel on YT.
The story of my life... Met him in 2010. We lived 2.000 km apart. Had a great connection, kept in touch as friends ,had an affair 3 years later. Our life went different ways but we would usually see each other every 4 years. Even if I was in a long term relationship, I kept thinking if he got a divorce and wanted to be with me, I would leave my then partner. That could have been a subconscious reason why my relationship didn't work out.
Last summer we saw each other after 4,5 years and it was like no time has passed.
It was so painful to say goodbye to him. A few months later, I deleted his contact and removed him from my social media.
6 months later, I met someone else who I would never leave for him😊
This is not a romantic comment just about a friend I have had for 40 years. I feel sorry for people these days with such intrusive messages and social media. We have lived in the same road all this time, we go about our business sometimes and don’t see each other or speak for ages. We would both help each other if needed, but also recognise that family life and other things get in the way sometimes, if we lived in a world where texts were so important, a really good friendship would probably not have survived. I guess it is different to romantic relationships but hope people don’t go through life ignoring the kind person that needs to take a different path to you at times, but still values your friendship.
Regarding holding onto the “fantasy” the thread we created…
I’m some ways I believe it’s a bit of a reflection. We believe we have truly seen our soulmate and we project our truest need: to be truly seen and loved fully. Letting that go is almost impossible until we meet another that meets that inner need.
"love need space" love ittt!!!
Love the episode...kinda hurt a little bit as it was a reminder of my old self
Love you both!! I really benefited from this we do kid ourselves and lie to ourselves! There comes a time where we need to be honest with ourselves and not hurt ourselves with false hopes!
it's called limerence.I just discovered
I have feelings for this girl, it all began less than a year ago and right from the very beginning it felt so good and comfortable being around her. We began hanging out together, 9 out of 10 dates me and her alone. She kinda grew on me slowly and I discovered the more I got to know her, her values, and her perspectives on things, the more my feelings for her matured into what they are now. We see each other almost every day since we do partner acrobatics together and other circus disciplines too. The thing is she repeatedly told me she's not interested in any kind of relationship at the moment. Her presence in my life, aside from the common activities we partake in together, comes in ebb and flows, sometimes we communicate a ton, and then it all stops suddenly only to resurrect weeks later. It sort of breaks my heart having to either hold on to these feelings and wait until a possible opening from her happens or shut them down. I've been single for 2.5 years now, I mean VERY single, and it's the first time since my ex that I get to experience these emotions and it hurts they might be for nothing.
Check out the concept of limerence - for instance with Following Fenna (short vids).
I know the personification of this couple you're talking about--except they WERE married. They're divorced now. No kids. They don't live together, but I follow them on social media. RIGHT NOW AS I'M WATCHING YOUR VIDEO, she's posting about how she's been talking to him for "27 minutes" because she's having one of her (daily) meltdowns over such and such. They took NO TIME APART after their divorce to NOT talk or be out of contact with each other. They're COMPLETELY enmeshed and co-dependent. The MOST (as in NOT AT ALL SHOCKING) thing about this? NEITHER of them, in the 6 years they've been divorced, have had a real relationship. And you all just explained why. I tried to tell my friend about this before they even got divorced (because I knew her tendencies and mental issues) and he just kinda shoulder-shrugged. But that tracks, because he LOOOOOVES to be the rescuer/enabler and she LOOOOOOVES the "having to be rescued" persona.
Lol, they're NEVER gonna find anyone else. I told my friend "Why don't you just get re-married? You'll never drop her and she'll never drop you--you're each others' 'back-up plans'!" He didn't get it. But you guys do!
Loveee episodes with Audrey 💖
She is not afraid to challenge him.:)
I’ve spent over 18 years obsessing over a guy I really liked but never moved to the romantic stage. To be honest I never really got to know him probably as was scared of him rejecting me. But in my mind I imagined him to be everything I wanted in a long term relationship. Your both right that the fantasy is what what keeps us holding on to someone that will never see your worth. Also that they make you feel that you don’t deserve anyone of high value because of being rejected by them. I feel this has held me back from exploring and finding a partner that’s better and fits the reality of what I want and looking for. I will be honest it’s really hard to switch the fantasy and constantly comparing possible partners to that person off (which I have excepted it’s something that will never turn off as we’re all human) but like you’ve said before Matt it’s just to be consistent in my dating life and give myself compassion/self forgiveness when I feel these feelings or have self doubts about my worth.
I love listening to Audrey💚
I loved every episode of One Day. Best thing I have watched on Netflix this year. 100 percent agree with your thoughts about it.
Absolutely love this video and message! it's life changing in some ways, thanks so much for sharing the wisdom and perspective!❤
Hi Mr. & Mrs. Hussey
Loving the botanical background, nice too see Audrey, implemented the women’s touch. ❤ Great welcoming, and calming effect .
Best Success 🎉
I want an Audrey only podcast ❤ never thought I would like someone more than you Matthew, but she rocks😎
I love Audrey!!! ❤ You 2 are a match made in heaven! 💞 Soooo happy for you! 😇
one of the best interviews yet :)
Orange is a lovely colour! 🙃
You guys advice people on giving up on each other rather than to show how to overcome relationships obstacles
I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with the color! I preordered awhile ago I can’t wait to read this when it comes out!
I enjoy all your podcasts & especially think the ones with you and your gorgeous Wife is very gentle and such a good listen xxx keep up your great work Mr & Mrs H xx 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺👍👍🌺🌺
To answer one of the questions you had about the show "One Day", it's multiple meanings. Each episode is one day, it's the potential of one day to change your life, and each episode is set on the same day of the year, so it's a snapshot from one day each year. There's also the quote that inspired the book (I think in the last episode) that inspired the book that will help clarify what it means more, but I'll leave that out
Even though I haven't seen the show "One Day," it sounds as if the plot plays off of this trauma bond I had in multiple different ways... I remember hitting a point where I was more addicted to my own fantasies of who the guy was as opposed to seeing him for who he really is in reality... I realize that there's no denying this dysfunctional dynamic that the two of us once had. He knew exactly what to say just to push my buttons.... I used to take more offense to his remarks, but nowadays, it seems like our actual grievances are masked with smiles and banter that's more playful on the outside. Long story short, I guess while I've given up on the idea of us working beyond just being co-workers, I know that's impossible for me to hate him sometimes.
One day is a book, I loved it, and even a film with Jim Sturgess ❤❤
Love your podcast with Audrey! I always enjoy listening to you both together. 🧡 Thank you, Matt!
Love these podcasts with you and Audrey!! ❤
Best podcast ever 👌
Yeah I was very stuck in a story. I’ve broken away from it a few months ago.
I can see why Matthew and Audrey liked the new One Day trailer- it’s essentially a mirror of their relationship 😂
You can do so much with your imagination and create feel good scenarios it's a beautiful gift visualizing being with the person of your dreams making dreams come true while creating positive emotions. Shit it can help you take positive actions. I allow myself to indulge in healthy imagination, after all our happiness comes from our perception of a situation and not the situation itself.
I am so happy for you both that you have found each other. You both deserve it. Because you asked Matthew:
I think Audrey is so enriching for the podcast/RUclips channel. This episode was incredibly beautiful, informative, gentle and calm.
It was so cozy and the time flew by listening to you guys. Matthew you pulled me out of a deep slump a few months ago with such honest and really enthuastic video. No one had ever done that before in my life!!! I like the 15-20 minute videos the most. And I like it when you speak with tons ;) of energy. That's why I find the videos with Lisa Bilyeu so incredibly powerful and great. Those videos give so much hope and also make it unmistakably clear what the consequences are if we live the way we do, what the price is. And you both say it with such fierce energy that it always totally gets me. You feel personally pushed to want to change something in your life, it's just great. Conclusion: Matthew you alone are really really great, together with Lisa Bilyeu even more energetic (want to sell a Honda not only a car ;)) and you in combination with Audrey, very great, very gentle, very warmly enriching. Please keep it up, I'm always very happy when a new video comes out. Thank you so much for your important work!!!!
If a person has been a friend for 50 years, maybe it's better to accept his response that there is nothing more than friendship. It could have worked the other way around. Would you want him to cut off the friendship because you aren't interested in anything more? Probably not. Long-term friendships don't happen easily, be an adult.
A luxurious life be blessed on the Matthew Hussey academy. May your company filled with money and happiness. More and more sale of your book is wished by your well wishers.
I like your interviews with people like Dr Ramani . Also your wife has good insights
I watched One Day great show and it focuses on this one day they met then every year progresses on this one day
I also liked the show, I think one day means that there is a scene every 15th of July, during 20 years. I was amazed by it because of this figure of the cool and good looking guy, at the end of the 80's I was 14, 15. I have lived this kind of connection but for a short time.
I love orange! 🧡
my dream list for what I want in my partner-to-be:
1) wealthy/generous
2) deep thinker/excellent communicator
3) warm/soft/safe/gentle/kind
4) is in regular ongoing therapy,
and a men's circle,
continuously doing his own emotional work
and always evolving spiritually
5) deep connection to Jesus
6) traditional values, extremely chivalrous
7) wide awake/red pilled
8) calm patient excellent driver
9) loves to travel, loves to go out and do things together
10) our relationship with each other,
with ourselves, with God, with our families,
is always TOP priority
11) bold and free and radically honest
Audrey is so beautiful, classy, with a grounded energy❤. I am also franco-english like her, love the mix ^^