Kismet | Ep. 5 "Two Sisters - Foster Care Adoption"

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  • Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
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    Holly and Brian adopted two sisters from foster care - Phoebe and Naomi. With three boys- Zane, Quinn and Ezra; and their African American daughters; they are a large family full of so much love and spirit.
    Hear from the thoughts of 4-year-old Naomi, 10-year-old Zane and their parents, about the beautiful, courageous adoption journey of a transracial family. The joy, love and honesty they share about adoption, is a window into their lives that I hope will not only be helpful and educational, but moving, as well.
    Please make sure to subscribe to my RUclips Channel to stay current with new content, like my Adoption Awareness Facebook Page and share with your family, friends and community! Don't miss my my other foster care and adoption series, Placed and Beyond Biological, as well as my two Korean International documentaries, "YoonMee: Beyond Korea" and "Happy Girl".
    I hope to capture a spectrum of voices from the foster care and adoption community. If you are interested in sharing your story, please send me an email at shelby.kilgore@wearemirrorlight.com.
    Thank you for supporting an adoptee,
    Shelby Redfield Kilgore
    Mirror Light Productions
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Комментарии • 77

  • @patiencemukania4800
    @patiencemukania4800 3 года назад +4

    6 years ago. They must be grown and cute by now🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @drkim4077
    @drkim4077 4 года назад +8

    Wow these two parents are amazing, this is how I aspire to be when I’m a foster parents.
    Thank you for sharing your story, so inspiring 💜

  • @shellymoss373
    @shellymoss373 Год назад +1

    Beautiful family. ❤️Zane has a beautiful soul and what a stunning hair color he has. True Auburn. These children are just delightful. Bless you all.

  • @swampophelia2098
    @swampophelia2098 2 года назад +2

    The little deep place ! What a lovely little girl

  • @janvan4424
    @janvan4424 7 лет назад +18

    Zane is such a sweet boy and big brother.
    Naomi is precious :)

  • @keepitsimpleydb6151
    @keepitsimpleydb6151 4 года назад +7

    Zane has a beautiful spirit about him. His Mom is sooo open children....amazing heart!!!!! Great people - PeriodT!

  • @lizisinger3423
    @lizisinger3423 10 лет назад +16

    I am so proud to know that you were part of my family when my little ones needed someone to watch them.... I am especially excited as to how you embraced the Adoption possibilities.... so many times that is not even given as an option to women when they undergo years of fertility treatments. As an adoptive mom I am so glad that I chose that route to build my family. Thank you Holly and Brian for bringing up the fact that so many children are waiting for loving homes. Lizi Singer

  • @godgivennutrition2263
    @godgivennutrition2263 7 лет назад +11

    "We learned that it really wasn't about us" Says it all. For those who say that they cannot nurture a child for as long as needed in the midst of their storm because you are concerned for your own heart, you need to consider the root of that way of thinking. As for me, it was pure selfishness, and my way of thinking had to be refined. We have since elected to go from pre-adopt family to foster to adopt so that we could serve more children in their time of need.

  • @arttra898
    @arttra898 5 лет назад +9

    Very precious family. Grafting a person into your family tree - Wow.

  • @dorothywaters3501
    @dorothywaters3501 4 года назад +6

    Beautiful family Blessings to all..

  • @76bellamia
    @76bellamia 8 лет назад +14

    Bless them all..... A family is a family because of love, not by blood. Seems like they are all very happy. I wish them all the very best for the future. xoxo

  • @hollyamesz2922
    @hollyamesz2922 8 лет назад +12

    Zane has such a gorgeous heart! what a wonderful boy, obviously the results of great parents

  • @chandaharkins4418
    @chandaharkins4418 10 лет назад +19

    Zane is a sweetie. What a loving boy! (Vanilla and chocolate - love it!)

  • @thatcrazybusymomlife9326
    @thatcrazybusymomlife9326 4 года назад +6

    Thank you, I NEEDED to hear this ♡ Right now we are in the "WAITING" and it's much harder than I had expected. It feels like it'll never happen.

  • @alittlebitoflight
    @alittlebitoflight 5 лет назад +7

    What a fine couple and a lovely family.

  • @monicaandjason
    @monicaandjason 10 лет назад +12

    Thank you! These are ideal foster parents. Such sweet spirits toward the birth mother, and in it for the kids not for themselves! Love it!!!

  • @justaprayinamerican
    @justaprayinamerican 9 лет назад +9

    your story was so heartfelt and i cried because i am in the same process of adopting through fostercare your family is so blessed. Thank God for your open heart God bless you and all your children

  • @patiencemukania4800
    @patiencemukania4800 3 года назад +3

    God bless you parents!!! Very loving and caring and truly God bless you 🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @deborahhenry2551
    @deborahhenry2551 3 года назад +1

    What a beautiful loving family, I absolutely love love love the big brother. What an absolutely loving, caring young man he is. I thank God for people like you that are willing to share your heart with others especially people of a different nationality. I pray Gods blessings on you all, may you prosper & be in health even as your soul prospers!🙏🏽❤🙌🏽

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  3 года назад

      I think you mean to say a different race. Since they are all American. I believe your comment is meant to be well-intended, but to be transparent with you it doesn’t come across like that. I don’t think people deserve more of a pat on the back, because they adopt outside of their race. Or even that they have to have a bigger heart to do so. It’s like saying to someone good for you, you’re not a racist. The problem is that some parents don’t realize they are and the children they adopt are further harmed. I’m certainly not saying that’s the case for this family. But it happens and it’s heartbreaking.

    • @deborahhenry2551
      @deborahhenry2551 3 года назад +1

      @@shelbyredfieldkilgore Nationality was the wrong word, I should have said ethnic group. I despise the word race because growing up we were taught there is only 1 race 'human race' but I guess it's just the way people split ethnic groups into a category. You have totally misunderstood me, I am a woman of colour & come from a country rife in racism. To me blended families like these absolutely warm my heart because as a child growing up my parents had various ethnic groups coming to our house all the time. I had bo idea about colour because we were not taught any differently. It was other people that pointed out to me that I was different & were racist towards us. I think more so because people could not tell what ethnic group we were. Anyway my point was very much that we ALL deserve love not pat on the back because hey Well done white folks for daring to love a child of another ethnicity. The reality is not many people in my country would willingly accept someone from another ethnic group. I know your an advocate for adoptions including blended families but you will never understand what we face on a daily basis. My message was simply coming from a place of inspiration. Thank God for these parents & people willing to love knowing small minded people will have there own opinions on there choice (in the video the mother explained its already happened & that she hopes people will not hurt her girls as they get older). I admire your innocence the first step in healing as nations is to realise we are made up of various ethnic groups & that we can & should come together despite that. If I were to describe you I would need to go into detail about how you look your hair colour, eye colour but most obvious thing your skin colour. I hope this doesn't cause offence that is not the objective here. Keep up the good work & have a blessed day🙏

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  3 года назад

      @@deborahhenry2551 not offended at all. I am a Korean adoptee raised by white parents and grew up in a predominantly white community. So I know the face of bigotry, discrimination, racism well. Thankfully my parents were very open minded. But I am not necessarily an advocate of adoption, I am trying to help tell people’s stories without interference from my own personal views which have definitely changed over the years. I think a lot of families may teach that love is color blind or I don’t see color, but that to me is so dangerous because it doesn’t prepare them for the real world, for how they will be seen by others. It was hard for me growing up not having exposure to many Asians in my life nor in the media. And almost a daily reminder of that by my peers, in intended ways and not in intended ways and even from adults.

  • @coeurenpoche
    @coeurenpoche 3 года назад +2

    23:02 that little girl really has some serious arm strength

  • @dbelinda03
    @dbelinda03 4 года назад +5

    Loving family...just as family in God's love is!

  • @deebo5475
    @deebo5475 4 года назад +4

    Such a beautiful family...may God bless them🙏🏾💖

  • @kathytappero7179
    @kathytappero7179 2 года назад +1

    Zane is so beautifully pure of heart❤️

  • @mcconvillegirl87
    @mcconvillegirl87 8 лет назад +5

    What wonderful people! She is so eloquent, and so is their older son! What an amazing big brother! Those children are so lucky to be in their home!

  • @allyhawkes760
    @allyhawkes760 7 лет назад +3

    What a beautiful family! All the children are so blessed to be part of the family. We are currently in the process of becoming foster parents, and will adopt if the opportunity comes up.

  • @dmndangel
    @dmndangel 6 лет назад +4

    Zane is literally the best.

  • @jamaicangirl2000
    @jamaicangirl2000 4 года назад +3

    Naomi is a beautiful name. This is a beautiful family.

  • @carolschultz5502
    @carolschultz5502 6 лет назад +7

    I think these folks are very brave to tell their story. I think the father is shy and is very kind. Men usually have a harder time talking about the way they feel. I wonder why they don't include his 2 children in their family photos. A lovely family.

  • @oohlegz
    @oohlegz 4 года назад +5

    Naomi💕💕💕Yes lil miss articulate!

  • @lalabreton8638
    @lalabreton8638 4 года назад +3

    Omg this parents are amazing!!!! Lucky kids!!!

  • @christina168
    @christina168 7 лет назад +3

    What a wonderful couple 💕

  • @yordanosteklu6156
    @yordanosteklu6156 5 лет назад +4

    God blessed u guys , great example , ur such a beautiful human being 💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕👑👑

  • @swampophelia2098
    @swampophelia2098 2 года назад +1

    What a lovely woman

  • @fairbearhenderson7998
    @fairbearhenderson7998 3 года назад +2

    HEARTS>>>> Love you guys!

  • @fbrown8813
    @fbrown8813 3 года назад +1

    what an amazing story

  • @mildredlane3717
    @mildredlane3717 7 лет назад +10

    Did I miss Brian's 2 birth children's location? Are they w/ their mother? joint custody? thanks..I adopted a foster son when I was 60,and now he is 19 and I am 78. Wish I had done it earlier..I have 3 birth adults also

    • @sahdi2910
      @sahdi2910 3 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing your story. We adopted but now that my kids are getting older, i would love to do it again but worry its too late age wise. Nice to hear you were 60 when you did it!

  • @rohananya
    @rohananya 3 года назад

    Lovely, lovely story but dad could smile a bit more ! 💖💖

  • @ladybleu50
    @ladybleu50 7 лет назад +1

    You are truly blessed!

  • @beautifulmermaid718
    @beautifulmermaid718 10 лет назад +6

    This is so beautiful

  • @mikewrasman5103
    @mikewrasman5103 3 года назад

    That's is so cute.

  • @RomanRoman-vj5xz
    @RomanRoman-vj5xz 3 года назад +1

    Mommy swim with me on her back. She can be like a boat. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @mikewrasman5103
    @mikewrasman5103 3 года назад

    And that's all!

  • @nuwon8154
    @nuwon8154 Год назад +1

    Seems like Dad got dragged into everything....since day 1

  • @user-cy4vw1qj9m
    @user-cy4vw1qj9m 2 года назад

    Where are his two birth children?

  • @jacquelinesmith1148
    @jacquelinesmith1148 8 лет назад +13

    This was an awesome story, but the father really does not show a real connection or heart for the adoptive children.

    • @WindSunMoonStars
      @WindSunMoonStars 7 лет назад +6

      Jacqueline Smith I don't think it is that he is not connected with heart. I feel as though he perhaps is a little shy or feels invading upon by the camera. If he was not in it he surely wouldn't have allowed the second adoption as well as going through a vas reversal and having more biological children. I do not know the man but he seems like my husband when discussing adoption with others. It's our story not theirs I think he feels. This is our family. You know what I'm saying?

    • @JJ-yu6og
      @JJ-yu6og 7 лет назад +1

      Jacqueline Smith Both parents appear so stuffed up and uptight.

    • @madreep
      @madreep 6 лет назад +2

      Jacqueline Smith I agree. The mom seems to be coming from a good place where she really desired to adopt a child who needed a family. I feel like the father went along with it because it's what his wife wanted. I'm not doubting that he has a connection with them or loves them because I'm sure he does, but his silence speaks volumes to me. As do his expressions. His eyes don't light up the way I would expect.

    • @awadiaby1673
      @awadiaby1673 5 лет назад +3

      madree p how many kids have you adopted. May be you can open your door and your heart instead of mouth.

    • @tmorgan7939
      @tmorgan7939 5 лет назад +1

      Thanks for sharing your story here. Hopefully people can learn from your experiences. It is always a hard decision to do something like this video because you open yourself to all kinds of free advice and criticisms. You deserve credit for opening up your lives to many children and giving them the chance for a better life.

  • @nuwon8154
    @nuwon8154 Год назад

    Hello....I'm negative....now you met me

  • @salwabagadi4775
    @salwabagadi4775 5 лет назад

    💕

  • @Kozette007
    @Kozette007 7 лет назад

    Please beautiful ladies, let's allow others to talk as well. 🤐

  • @Dawoudkhalifa
    @Dawoudkhalifa 8 лет назад

    Is that Jaime Lannister? :P

  • @yahtoday2750
    @yahtoday2750 6 лет назад

    comment 2
    And not to be unrespectfull but this is where we are going through
    We were adopted and as a adoptee we are here to serve nothing less and nothing more. realise yourself it pure slavery. Slavery doesnt know love. Adoptee parents dont want to help a child, they just want a child and they pay for us. They picking a child like a child buying candy in the candystore. They can choose the colour of our skin, they can choose our rase, they can choose by list. And all of the adoptee parents filling in this list and all of them pay for having a child like they picked them. And after this a picture beiing showed to see if they like the child or not. Once the child is in their arms mostly they giving us another name. Erase what we are and where we came from. So helping a child no, not at all they are helping themselves. it's just a excuse they are using. A abandoned helpless baby who cant speak beiing owned. Owned, this is our child and we are serving a life time long. Some adoptees dont realise, because they are teatched to think and believe what their adoptee parents told them to think.... Im against adoption.

    • @user-cy4vw1qj9m
      @user-cy4vw1qj9m 2 года назад

      I know some very happy adopted children and adults a lot in fact.

  • @nuwon8154
    @nuwon8154 Год назад

    Head in the clouds. Wait until they're teenagers. Seriously

  • @serenafanlife4226
    @serenafanlife4226 7 лет назад +7

    Respectfully, I was taught by my black best friend not to say, African American... say, Black American. Unless, the person was born in Africa.

    • @madreep
      @madreep 6 лет назад +4

      Nurse Calls Thank you for respecting that. I consider myself and my son to be black. We were born in America as were my parents and theirs. I have no idea when my family came from Africa nor what part of Africa they came from so I don't identify as African although I love the culture. We have friends who have become family over the years, we love them very much. They are refugees from Somalia. They're African Americans. We're not.

    • @gaelcrane8008
      @gaelcrane8008 5 лет назад +2

      Nurse Calls it’s do hard, it seems like there are some people who just look to criticize others and it’s hard to know what to do. Black, African American? It keeps changing so now it’s black American? Thanks and I really mean that!

    • @OneBeyondBelief
      @OneBeyondBelief 4 года назад

      That's just stupid 🙄. I don't care where I was born, my blood is from Africa....African American

    • @therealgodessisis
      @therealgodessisis 4 года назад

      The term Italian-American covers anyone born in America whose ancestors hail from Italy. African-American covers anyone whose ancestors hail from Africa. I dont know anyone who finds the term "offensive" it sounds as if your friend might need a lesson in history.

  • @JJ-yu6og
    @JJ-yu6og 7 лет назад +4

    The parents appear so stuffy and uptight.

  • @somee3403
    @somee3403 4 года назад +1

    Are these two still together. Don't think this family has had nor still have much interaction with others outside their race.. very uncomfortable video to watch.

  • @yahtoday2750
    @yahtoday2750 6 лет назад

    comment 2
    And not to be unrespectfull but we didnt have a voice or choice and this is where we are going through:
    We were adopted and as a adoptee we are here to serve nothing less and nothing more. realise yourself it pure slavery. Slavery doesnt know love. Adoptee parents dont want to help a child, they just want a child and they pay for us. They picking a child like a child buying candy in the candystore. They can choose the colour of our skin, they can choose our rase, they can choose by list. And all of the adoptee parents filling in this list and all of them pay for having a child like they picked them. And after this a picture beiing showed to see if they like the child or not. Once the child is in their arms mostly they giving us another name. Erase what we are and where we came from. So helping a child no, not at all they are helping themselves. it's just a excuse they are using. A abandoned helpless baby who cant speak beiing owned. Owned, this is our child and we are serving a life time long. Some adoptees dont realise, because they are teatched to think and believe what their adoptee parents told them to think.... Im against adoption and i speak it out loud. Adoption is really in most cases a big suffering. And i wish them to stand back a lil more.

    • @madreep
      @madreep 6 лет назад +2

      nayia nayia I'm adopted and I don't see it that way. I feel in my heart that I was born to one woman but wasn't intended for her. I was meant to have the mother that I got. She didn't "choose" me. She wasn't intending to adopt. My brother and I fell into her lap and she fell in love with us and wanted to be our mother. I don't care for the way a traditional adoption works because it is essentially baby buying especially international adoptions. But I don't think every adoptive parent adopts for the wrong reasons. My mom gave me a good life.

    • @shelbyredfieldkilgore
      @shelbyredfieldkilgore  5 лет назад +3

      YAH Today, I want to let you know I understand where you are coming from. I can see why some adoptees and mothers feel this way. I know there is a deep trauma that occurs from the separation of a baby and mother, regardless of the reason, and how it can manifest at different developing stages as the child grows up. But I think we have to also understand that kinship care and adoption has happened long before it was legalized through the government and private agencies. And I think just like all programs and agencies that were created with the intent to help, there can be corruption in some. It's human nature. I think there is in general a growing shift towards moving more resources to help those in need to help keep their family together. But in some cases the abuse is so significant, that it can't be done, especially if they don't accept the help. Also, some mothers/fathers choose to place their baby, because being a parent was not something they had planned for or wanted. I have heard of women in their 40s that have decided to place. There are just so many reasons why adoption takes place. Some terrible, some coerced, some corrupt, but also some good. And just like any family, there can be mistreatment and abuse, that can also be found in foster care and adoptive families. We just need to make it better on all fronts.