Autism And Relationships (A Discussion With Temple Grandin)
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- Опубликовано: 2 апр 2022
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I had the pleasure of having a discussion with Dr. Temple Grandin about autism and relationships.
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Wow he gets to talk to temple grandin! That's amazing we learned about her in my ag class!
I read about her in a book
I’ve spoken with her several times and it was kinda awful. 🤷♀️
@@AutismByAutistics really how come?
Why was it awful
My parents hid my autism diagnosis from me until I was in my late teens. It might seem like not the best decision, but they didn't want me to limit myself or use the diagnosis as an excuse to not do things. Don't get me wrong, they worked hard with me to make sure I was able to fit in socially and to mitigate my anxiety but I think I turned out pretty well lol! The specialists apparently told my parents not to expect me to graduate from high school but I not only graduated, I got fairly good grades. I also went to college for social work and I now own and run a small business selling ebikes with my husband.
amazing. what struggles did you get over and how exactly are you managing now?
Temple is an inspiration to everyone, truly!
So love how Temple found her niche and has spent her life sharing her talents and wealth of knowledge.
Temple Grandin had great things to say. I'm glad she didn't get the social cue when you wanted to cut her off and end the talk! 😄I wish you could have continued the conversation. I could have listened to her for another hour at least!
Amazing to see to two greats in the ASD community interacting! We need more of this. I think a factor in identity crisis/imposter syndrome stems from neurodivergent individuals not having an owners manual on LIFE. We are visual learners and need living, breathing people to model from. It also helps to know our brains may be wired similarly. The future is Autistic.
Interesting interview. I appreciate the encouragement for kids to get into things and excel at life through their interests. I do push back at the idea that one shouldn’t also identify as autistic. You can do and be both. I was not identified as autistic. I did have interests, but I was limited in many ways by my underestimating parents and educators. I was bullied a lot. I would much rather be “autistic” than “weird.” Autistic people have so much potential. I don’t find it limiting. In fact I find it to be liberating and empowering, for me to find my strengths and direction. I think I would have done much better in school, career, and my personal life had I known. Be careful to not only give examples of the lucky who had their unique identified early despite not knowing why they were different.
My experience as a late diagnosed adult (diagnosed at 47 this year) is the same as yours.
I agree with you comment 100%!
Please have Temple on again to talk about how to communicate in the workplace and how to navigate the workplace when u think differently
"You are what you Do". I don't 100% agree with Temple there, but it's such a cool insight into a succesful engineer's scope that it's amazing. Powerful stuff
Married to an aspie, words are just words. The actions don't match the words because they're usually masking. So from the NT side, you are what you do is actually spot on. I hope this helps give perspective from that other side. 💖
37, diagnosed as an adult, 2 kids, divorced. You got my attention. Lol
Wow.
@@DedHedZed Je suit ASD. 🙃
Dan, what an awesome interview! Temple, we could spend all day listening to you! I am going to share with my newly diagnosed 11 year old aspie girl! ❤️🙏
What an amazing woman. So jealous you got to talk to temple granden
I was bourn in the 80s and something was clearly very different with me. My parents pulled me out of every single help I could of had as they didn't want me to be different to everyone else. Ive had quite a lot of resentment because of this because I learnt nothing in a class of 30 people. I'm not 36, been diagnosed with ADHD but I've also realised I'm dyspraxic, dyslexic and autistic. Still waiting for an autism assessment but no idea what to do about the other 2 at my age or if it's even worth it
Embrace the fact your child is different, it's not something that should be ignored. In my case because of this I felt like I didn't want to be here because I had no idea what was going on. Now I know things have got better and Im starting to accept who I am
I agree with you.
I have similar diagnoses (everyone that you wrote except ADHD which I am deciding, even though recommend, whether or not I want an assessment on.)
I am a visual thinker too. I am also Autistic but it does not define me. I'm an artist and sculpter.When I show them my work.They then can understand how I think.
On a long distance coach I got talking to a young lad sitting next to me who started chatting with me with huge enthusiasm about dinosaurs, something it seemed he had a vast knowledge about. His mother asked me if I minded as 'he does this'. "No, not at all" I said. Actually it reminded me of when I was about the same age and did something similar with anyone that would listen, my 'specialist subject' being astronomy. I worked with special needs children (most of whom were on the autistic spectrum) as a classroom assistant for a decade before I retired, my empathy coming from personal experience, I think. Never diagnosed, by the way. It wasn't done so much when I was growing up in the 1960s.
I never got to do anything hands on to see what I like or don't like. Now I am in my thirties and I discovered that I love nutrition and I find it to be the most fascinating thing I plan on sometime in the future going back to school to study nutrition and to become a nutritionist.
Still waiting to be diagnosed at 61. Thank you.
Grateful for my art, but would really like to find like minded friends.
I love dogs and did many animal jobs then found grooming. I have a grooming shop and have become friends with some customers. A couple are artists. One has a little community art center where she teaches kids and lets them come and experiment with all sorts of ways to create art. We also have another community arts center where I took a silversmithing class and met some good people. It was awkward at first, I don't like group things, but some nice people took the time to try and befriend me. Maybe you could find friends at a place like that.
Holy shit you got The Queen on!
Awesome zoom view. Thank you both😎❣️
Well done 🥳 love to hear you both
Wow Dan! Busy much? Lol 👏 Doing amazing my dude.
Wonderful, I love Doctor Grandin, also gmail is really reliable, its the only thing I use for every communication need. Its straightforward and I'm in my mid 60s and no computer genius. I go the route of simplicity and least messups.
Please have her on lots more. I love her.
Oh my I’ve gotten so confused thought this was going live on 2nd April at 7.30pm GMT but now it says 3rd April.. will come back then see if I can find the live then.
Yes
So amazing. Temple, you are such an inspiration! Thank you!
Cool!
My husband is on the spectrum. We are on the verge of separation.
I’m looking forward to this video for maybe a little bit of help. Thank you 🙏
I'm really sorry. I'm on the spectrum too, if I can be of any help, please ask.
Also consider that being on the spectrum is not all our personality. The problems you have with your husband could not be related to autism but to his personality.
So, it's amazing that you are looking for knowing more, but don't take all the burden of keeping the relationship going on you.
I am sorry that you and your partner are having struggles. You may find "Mom on the Spectrum" 's channel helpful. She is on the spectrum and has great content about her take on autism (ASD), plus she has a non-autistic partner.
Mark Hutten, M.A. 's channel has a cut and dry approach to partner's with different neuro-types as well.
My spouse and I have been at that point a couple of times, it only got better once we turned inward and worked on our own issues, instead of trying to work on each other's. Still not perfect, but it's easier, esp. With knowing our diagnosis. (We all have ADHD, and I'm going in for an autism eval soon)
@@federicanardi7227
I agree with you that it’s a probably a combo of his personality and his ASD. I thought this video was going to be more relationship centric as far as spouses. Temple did mention one thing about how they have to have shared interests. My spouse and I do not have a anything in common.
Perhaps I’m mixing up his personality traits with his ASD.
All are welcome to comment.
1- we have nothing in common
2- he has no friends besides me
3- he can’t/won’t/ refuses to make decisions about anything in our life.
4- he does not want to go out of the house for dinner, drinks or to meet friends
5- he doesn’t pick up on social cues
6- he doesn’t understand jokes or subtle innuendoes
7- he has no hobbies besides playing candy crush on his tablet
8- he pretends to not hear crying
9- he isn’t able to retain info on how to cook the same foods repeatedly.
I could keep going but I’m sure I’ve said enough. I am exhausted being the strong one. I’m drained of always being the decision maker. I’m tired of no laughter in our house. I’m envious of other relationships where there is a reciprocated give and take of opinions, advice, strengths and weaknesses.
I relate to the conversation topics
Brilliant stuff Dan. Really enjoyed the content thanks 😊
So excited to see this! Thank you Dan! 🙏🏼
More places should make accommodations for autistic people. We are not less we are just good different.
💯💕
excited to see this today! Im a fan of Temple Grandin
Temple Gradin I love your outlook on life. You make me feel like I can more than I think I can. If I ever wanted to start my own business you make me believe I can.
WOW! Temple Grandin! That’s amazing Dan! I live in a very rural part of Texas and she is a legend around here.
This is an incredibly useful talk for me. I wasted college studying the wrong things for me then held stressful low paying jobs until I could retire. I’d love to try again with something more fitting. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Hi, Temple I saw you invention back in Paducah, KY
@@hotkickrepomanjr.8838 Agreed
Please can you do 2 videos. One on parents of Aspergeric adults and how they should treat there Aspergeric adult children. And 2 sibling rivalry when 1 has Aspergers and one does not and how this develops with age. I can't find any videos or helpful information on this and the national autistic society website isn't accessible right now for support. Thanks
I read about temple grandin in a book I have that’s the only reason I didn’t freak out when I got diagnosed. I can’t believe you got to talk to her!!!
Hi, I'm new to the autism community. My wife has just been diagnosed with autism as an adult. I am after some advise. I'm lost where to look and I want to be there to help her. Thanks
I'd have to draw the line at making friends in the cattle industry
I as I said to you years ago as fare as the career subject in here I am a licenced hair stylist and still deal with discrimination where all put in these boxes and not given jobs outside of stereotype work computers pitty coffee shops slater houses disability factory slave shops that under pay ... I do hair from home cus salon owners and managers suck someday I hope to be in my own salon studio loft but that's a long way away but I renew my licence every year and iv had it for ten years ... And it's not just parents putting people in boxes community does it society does it country does it..
I was not disnosed till my late 40s, I am 65 now, no job no friends
I am 65 too, diagnosed at 64. Retired, no friends
He's a Dimond in the rough, so don't worry about it Cam 😉
"You are what you do". 👍 Thank you. But what happens when you can no longer do what you are? I've been in my industry for 14 years and part time since 18 years. However, the industry has changed and I've changed along with it. It's not as profitable as it was, I'm still making enough money to live, but I'm looking for a new career, a new interest. I have a few small interests I could turn into a career but I have difficulty choosing what to do. I'm having a hard time letting go of the old career. I've just started a year off. I still intend to continue my business to some degree but trying to allow myself time to pursue other things. It's hard though I gravitate back to my "old" business because it's what I know. Anyone any tips?
I might be wrong, but I think you're focusing on what you haven't achieved instead of your past achievements. After all, we're all here for the ride, mansions and stuff are useless, right?
LOL i dont like this kind of chit chat ....as i am thinking about the first joke they already told 2 more .....uahahahhah i understand more and more the pattern of thinking of the autismus and it is so interesting ......She is so funny her spectrum of knowledge is so big even the humor is in a big level ....love her....wow. Explaining with humor is the best thing in my opinion as it helps others to listen exactly what you are saying and this with such a pleasure.....wow amazing.
Question for those on the spectrum. Do you send your child to school, for the many positive reasons, including building some resilience for the real world? Or….. out of fear they face teasing/bullying, keep them home for education, which mean less social interactions and preparation for the real world etc?
School isn't a great form of socialization, imo.
For me, I was the only female in an ATM industry. I loooooove them talking shop, I even got Korean owner of this billion dollar company listening to me!! Even took them to dinner they paid bur I took them Toya great local restaurant. Women, caustic people can.enjoy things!!!!!!!
Hello.
Don't you think there are economic reasons there are not as many small shops?
❤️👍
Not everyone as a degree with Autism, some have basic education
Why is systems theory so hard? It involves algebraic logic. That is a barrier to industry to me.
Almost 38 years old. Self diagnosed at 34 years old. Divorced. No children.
You couldn't get her to shut up! Lol
time to switch to matrix
I don't understand the obsession with standard core subjects being used as an indicator for graduating high school. The math they teach is rarely ever used by most people. I think instead of pushing algebra. Trigonometry, geometry etc maybe it would be better to teach math relative to what life skills someone wants to learn. It's a waste of time to teach someone calculus if they want to be a beautician. That's just one example. There's many. If they want to learn it ok.
I don't get why she supports ABA......
I’ve spoken with her several times and she can be very ableist but it was because of the generation she grew up in, I believe.
@@AutismByAutistics still though if Im sure if I was her age and exposed to ABA as a kid I'd be doing all *I CAN* to never let another child or teenager go through that process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean the goal of leading a happy Autistic life *IS* to not become less Autistic overtime, its to get proper Autistic led Support I think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@davidbolger2000AD Exactly, I agree with that statement. I hope you don’t think that I think otherwise. ✌️
@@AutismByAutistics nah totes agree with ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@davidbolger2000AD Cool 😎
Slaughtering animals is not a specail interest of mine so im gonna have to stop listening as its being mentioned numerous times. R.i.p
temple grandin is an antivaxxer
not the best person to take advice from
That dosent mean she dosent have useful information. She is not an expert in that area, but she is in others.
@@breezybee777 nah
@@breezybee777 I'm sure ol Adolf was a great painter, but that's not what hes known for
That makes me love her more
@@lizzieb7373 you are what is wrong with the world
Boomers failed this generation. ❤
OmGosh!! This is a fantastic interview!!!!