The Stress Is Not The Problem
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- The Stress Is Not The Problem
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Dan the Mindset Man stress is not the problem it’s our belief system that it is overwhelming/dangerous. I stopped saying I Can’t, I Can’t do this or that! Took it all out of my vocabulary and now I experience it differently and just stay CALM and go with the flow. Just do the best I can each day with no pressures on myself. Bought a bike today it was PLAY your video! Last year if you ask me to sit on a bike seat I would have such anxiety not yesterday I was sitting on it trying to ride it laughing and smiling! Drs said you can never ever sit and ride a bike! It will hurt you more in your pelvic area you know what I DON’T CARE! I can handle so much more in life because the more I do the more I feel better! If I have a spike in sensation I just stay CALM and just say your already OK, your fine, nothing dangerous going on Mrs Brain! Focus and can go on with my day! Thank you 🙏 Dan!
Happy ride Annie! So pleased to read your happy progress!❤
@@Inge508
Thank you 🙏 Inge haven’t rode a bike in 30 plus years was floundering in the store people all laughing and my husband laughing but I had so much laughter I didn’t care if it was increasing down there as I know it is only PDP! Have a Peaceful Weekend! ♥️
@@anniechin2162 wow, I can imagine your joy!have a lovely weekend too !🚴🏼♀️🥇😄
So proud off you Annie, love to see you back in the coaching soon, you go Girl, I can’'t want to come back and see you and the others all again! Big sunny hug from Spain
@@Inge508
♥️
"Experience symptoms to stop them." Wow. "Avoidance perpetuates danger" Double wow. So...yesterday i hiked for THREE hours with the dogs. I did need hiking poles for most of it. But I did it. THREE hours. Plus some climbing. Today I feel GOOD. Dan's the man.
Brilliant Jim. Love to hear it!!!
This is excellent. Since doing this work on a daily basis I have read a ton about stressful childhood, etc and started to convince myself that stress was causing the pain. I’m going back to my former attitude. I am a joyful, happy senior citizen who has managed to deal w responsibilities and stress just fine. I don’t need something to blame-I clearly need to share with my brain the fact that I am safe. Thanks for this one, Dan.
You are very welcome Tess.
Wow, Dan. I was really hoping I’d open RUclips and see a video from you and this was exactly the one I needed. My dog and I were attacked at my front door by a neighbor and I’m doing my best to make sure I feel safe through the anxiety and to sit with the fear without trying to block it. My situation is a little more crazy than regular stress but I’m guessing the same principles apply with trauma. This trauma doesn’t get to make a home in my body and brain, because I’m safe, even though I’m afraid.
Wow - wild story. Glad you are okay. You are right. Scary life thing - no need for your body to hurt.
It has been amazing how I’ve now had two vastly different experiences within the same job and life. In 2022, I spent months in pain. Now, I am free from chronic pain and the ONLY change has been within myself. I didn’t change jobs, relationships, schedules. Truly, nothing changed except how I respond to this same life AS IT IS. Here lately, I have been using Dan’s approach to reduce some lingering anxiety. Even after resuming activity, I was still isolating some.
Yesterday, I was able to visit with family and ENJOYED it. I felt present and relaxed. I didn’t have my lifelong “get me outta here” sensation.
Integrating my faith plus PFY methods has literally changed my life 100% for the better.
Wonderful Hinz! ❤you ARE a successtory!👏👏👏💪😁
Congratulations hanging out the flag 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱😄🎊🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳💐💐💐💐💐
@@Inge508 Inge we can do it we can flip the script ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Amazing Hinz. Love to hear of the changes in your life.
What is PFA method?
Dr. Sarno also said that stress is not the cause of pain, Stress is mental fatigue. The cause is "emotional unease" But its at the subconscious level where its difficult to reach. So, as Dan echoes...don't try. Instead focus on calming down and reminding the brain you're safe.
This one is going into the Best Of Dan playlist!
Absolutely 😘
How do you do this ??
@@dorienhageman1616 wat bedoel je?
@@dorienhageman1616 look for the 3 tiny, vertical dots under the video itself. Select that, then select “add to playlist”. From there, you can create custom playlists.
@@lennekevanrossum8422 Hoi Lenneke ! Jaren TMS ook aan ogen dus al heeel lang niet meer kunnen lezen en loop dus beetje achter op computer gebied 😂 wist dus niet hoe ik playlist moest maken 🙄🙄 maar heb het inmiddels voor elkaar . I am ok !
Sooo helpful. I've also noticed recently that I was attaching meanings about me as a person to the stress. Such as the story that I'm weak and emotionally damaged for feeling stress...and that its 'bad' and wrong and a personal failing and flaw to experience it. Talk about inaccurate stories and self criticism😔 Also noticed some shame attached to feeling stress. Pleased to have spotted those🎉😊
Great insight. Stress is part of life and only bad if we decide it's bad.
Find All the things You CAN DO..First..then Expand! Thank You..Dan. 😊❤
👍🙏have a great weekend Kathleen!🌸🌸🌸
@@Inge508
Thank You! I Love 💕 You! God Bless You!
So true!
“This feels tough. How can I?” Love it!
Yep - how can I. Let your brain percolate on that for a bit.
I just cannot let go of the fear of the pain. It is so painful all the time. The tension in my body is excruciating all day. And then all the thoughts of how much worse can this get because it has got worse. Constant attention on it because it hurts so badly it never subsides and then the terror of the rest of my life and all the things it has already taken away. The pain in my glutes and lower back so all sitting is like a horror show. I go for walks but the pain is still there and it's all I think about 😢
Hey Julie - I totally understand the fixation and the fear of the pain. Is it the pain you are afraid of? Or the consequence of it never getting better? If you knew it was temporary (it is), would you be as frightened by your experience?
It's not a matter of just remaining calm and telling yourself you are safe. We need to have the fundamental four down.
1. Know what is causing the pain. Perceived Danger
2. Know that it applies to me.
3. Know that there is a solution.
4. Know that I am capable of implementing the solution.
Once you have all four fundamentals down pat, then teaching the brain we are safe is key. Recovery from fear is the name of the game. ruclips.net/video/VSmTe8zPXh0/видео.html
Needed this today. Recently lost my mom and began a nursing school program not long after. I've had an avalanche of symptoms that I've been cycling through, and eventually overcoming, but with each cycle I seem to add another "I can't handle this" brick in the wall that I've built that always stands in my way. Thanks Dan, you save me so many times.
This is a goodie. TY. I totally get what u r saying. This is one to think about right. The times I have said to myself " I am too sensitive for this world" or "I can't handle such and such". But I am still here , and still fighting to get well, so I am actually a lot tougher than I tell myself.😜
Yes, exactly.
Another wise thing I heard was that we often think about life stress and “to-dos” as a problem we need to solve, but when you’re playing tennis, is it really a problem when the ball comes back across the net? No, it’s the whole point of the game. Just do the next thing.
This makes sense. The one belief that I had was stress is causing all this. If I can just stop the stress I can get better was my thought process. The next thought process that would follow is I can’t get better as a result of stress. You’re right. Stress is not going anywhere. The belief system needs to change in the existing circumstances.
YES, exactly.
I really really appreciate this one. I like the question, "I feel like I can't but what if I could what would that look like?" Love it. it aligns beautifully with stress researcher Suzanne Kobasa, who coined the term "stress Hardiness". She got curious about why some people across a wide range of stressful jobs, folks of different ages, races, cultures, etc, were less impacted by stress on a health and well being level, than others. She developed a series of questionnaires, and found that stress hardy people have 3 common quallites: 1)Control- (in the midst of all I can't control- what can I I take charge of where can I influence things? (aka mindset).2) Challenge- stress hardy people see change as a challenge rather than feeling powerless and victimized by it. 3) Commitment; Stress hardy people stay committed to their core values and ethics no matter what pressure is on them to compromise. I teach his in my Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and Mindful self Compassion classes. Now I'm teaching it to myself with your amazing help and the wonderful group members.
Great stuff Beth. Thanks for sharing those insights.
My dad used to say, can’t never did anything “.
I can!!
Thanks !!
Dan, I'm so in awe of this video you produce daily and tirelessly to help and encourage us every day, my heart is very moved.
I have to get out myself of it, for me of course, but also to thank you, to honor this strength of life and mutual aid that is yours, and all the time that you make available to those who suffer and come to your meeting.
Yes, I really hope that I will manage to get out of it because my character does not have the same temper as yours, but I will work on my mindset to make it as positive as possible.
Much love to you Dan 🥰
Nathalie from France
Hi Nathalie nice to meet you and yes we can do it believe, trust the process and borrow the confidence of Dan wishing all the succes and love ❤️🇳🇱😘
@@lennekevanrossum8422 Thank you+++ for your comment and wishing me success ♥️
Welcome Nathalie❤we can do this together 😊
Thank you for your kind words. Everyone can recover. I know it in my heart.
@@massagepublications Thank you Peggy 😍
I wish I could join a support group with Dan, but unfortunately I don't understand and speak English well enough, and when I listen to Dan's videos, I sometimes put the subtitles only in English , but often in French, and when I write a comment, I use Google translation.
I have these moments where I feel perfectly fine, then experience an ache or pain and immediately feel lightheaded. Like my system goes into panic mode. It's instantaneous and scary.
The subconscious is controlling symptoms. The solution is still the same. Calm.
I find my thinking goes to “all this stress will make me sick” and then more fear sets in as I watch for my disease diagnosis. You’re right. I can’t, can mean lots of things to the brain. It’s a hard habit to break without constant diligence.
Key insight to healing thanks Dan, the symptoms we get are a blessing letting us know we are stressing about stress and we can safely let it go. Up until now we have handled every life stress that came our way and we’re fine! Maybe not perfectly but we still handled it. Never say I can’t handle something..
you are a true blessing ... TY ...🍩☕
I’ve been watching your videos for a month or so now and every time I do I think how much you remind me of my awesome boyfriend Rob from when I was in my early 20’s. I mean I guess you’d be more like his handsome dad now because I’m 54😂 Blast from the past.
Thank you for sharing! Gosh cant get enough of your calm energy / tone of voice, sooooo soothing that im not even sure im actually listening to the words or just your voice ha
Wow I really needed this thankyou Dan 😊
Glad it was helpful.
One of your best Ever!! So many aha moments!!🎉
Wow - thank you.
Dear all, hope you are having a great weekend. I am looking for (more) succes stories or testimonials from the community of poeple that recovered from chronic fatigue syndrome. Had to visit a doctor yesterday for some tests for the insurance and the doctor told me I Will never get better there is no cure. So he scared me again. So hopefully positive stories can help me to get back on track again.
All of my success stories are here:
ruclips.net/p/PLRJmnkn2kTTIFQdggCj5blCYWTENhppHs
Fatigue is no different from any other symptom created by a brain perceiving danger. Forget that BS that your doctor told you. Just because your doctor hasn't a clue of how to help fatigue, doesn't mean there is no cure. There is and you have found it.
I will be posting a new success story in the next few days about Fatigue. Keep an eye out for it. The name is Leon - Chronic Fatigue Success Story.
Thanks so much Dan 🙏
Ditch the doctor if it's PDP TMS
I Will!!
I read somewhere (talking about health impacts of chronic stress, not specifically TMS) that when it comes to health outcomes, it isn’t any particular situation, even those that are generally considered stressful, that results in symptoms - it is PERCEIVED stress that has a physiological impact, no matter what the situation. Hearing it put that way really clarified it for me and helped me stop worrying quite as much about the impact of situations that are out of my control and instead focus on my mindset in those situations. Not easy to retrain my brain, and sometimes hard to even remember to try, but it is the one thing I can potentially control in any situation.
Great insights. Thank you for sharing.
Love it, needed to hear this, thanks Dan
My pleasure Kelly.
Don’t even know how to begin letting you know how helpful you are❤
You just did. :-) Thank you!
In the end, it comes down to practice. Let us practice every time we are urged to say I can’t repeat many times instead, how can I deal with this successfully. Focusing on own wellbeing as the main focus.
YES!
Thank you Dan for this video, very powerfull message ! Have a very nice weekend Dan and everyone sending hugs from Spain,
Voor jou ook een fijn weekend Nadia! Ik ben ook Belg maar woon in Frankrijk 🇫🇷.. ben afkomstig uit het Gentse..
@@Inge508 ohh, fijn om je te leren kennen, ik ben van Antwerpen, en mijn partner en zijn familie van gent ook , heel fijn zonnig weekend voor jou ook, Ole
Great message! I’m working on using more positive language so my brain doesn’t think I’m in danger. My hubby is helping me too!-in a nice way. Keep the videos coming. They’re so helpful and I’m grateful you’re doing them. I will heal-I just know it!!!
I have no plans to stop the videos.
Great video Dan - wonderful reminder! There is a video on RUclips called “How to make your friend”. A fabulous video reminding us that it’s not the stress, it’s how we look at it.
Yes, it's a TED talk. ruclips.net/video/RcGyVTAoXEU/видео.html
Great message, thank you. This really resonated with me. Enjoy the weekend everyone ❤
Same to you, Ruthie!
Lovely weekend to you too!🌻🌻🌻
Hi Ruth good weekend love you ❤️😘💐
Thanks Ruth.
Don’t stress!
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is RELAX!❤
Have a relax mind and body Dan and everyone!
Follow the 🦅 bird’s in their freedom!
April 1, don’t let yourself be fooled 😜
Hi Inge 🌺❤️🌺 Sending hugs 🤗 hugs 🤗 Waiting for an X-ray on hip.. say prayer 🙏
@@LilyOscar333I will Lily! Hope everything will be okay!🙏😍🕯️🌸🌸🌸
Good morning to Inge, Lily and Lenneke! My morning ladies!!!
@@Hinz2005 good morning Hinz!☀️
@@Inge508 good morning my lovely friend have a good weekend 😘😘😘❤️💐
This was very helpful. It’s realizing we have to think of things from a different perspective. I’m going to listen to this one again. Thanks, Dan.
❤️
My pleasure Diane.
Thanks Dan! I alteady twisted it to “i can’t do this at this moment” instead of “i can’t” but “how can I” is even better, so thank you, i am going to implement that! Hope you’ve had a nice weekend 😊
Perfect! Thank you.
Thank you Dan, this one seemed dedicated to me lol, I love your videos, they have helped me a lot. 😊❤
You are so welcome
Was interested about the stop watching horror films comment , I don’t watch them but I do like a good thriller I can see how it just heightens the fight flight response in me,. it made me think I have this problem with “doom scrolling” for example endless scrolling through news feeds or negative Facebook comments , all just adds fear to my day. Ain’t nothing on the news but the blues is a phrase that comes to mind. Yeah, gonna delete news notifications and apps.
Same here - tik Toks have humour clips but also horror clips - it makes anxious and fearful and political clips make me angry.
Ohhhhh this Is gold!!! -i gave up saying I Can't and it was life changing -basically just going from using passive language (I can't,it makes me... etc) to using Active language is a GAME CHANGER . It requires alot of self awareness at first, noticing how often I was saying passive language /statements and replacing them with more life enhancing Active language and beliefs but it has helped so much more than most ppl can imagine ! 🙏👍 your sooo spot on dan, and the second half of this video especially was sooo good 👌
So much gratitude for your tireless efforts with your daily videos, you honestly deserve a medal 🏅
Thanks Megan. Really appreciate your kind words.
Thank you Dan! 🙏😊
Have a good Saturday sweetie!❤🤗🌻☀️☘️🧁🍫🍮
@@Inge508 You too, lovely Inge❤️! 🤗💖🌻🏞️✨👋😄
This was wonderful information. I’ve been working on changing my attitude towards stress and food and it does help. Thank you Dan! Here in Portland OR there are many crows throughout the year.
Wonderful!
Thank you for this message Dan. 🙏🏻😮💨
This hits home, for sure. For so long I didn't realise I was viewing stressful times through a lens of danger with my internal dialogue. Without awareness I can still do this. Got to change the narrative & my beliefs. Thanks Dan, as always grateful for the reminders, simplicity & instruction with this 😊
You are welcome.
You make it sound so easy........
The concepts are simple, yet they are challenging to implement. But they are absolutely attainable. Go for it.
I can hear it!
Needed this today ❤
Hi Dan, good one yes stress.... I believed I came to a point no more stress I can't handle it but I handled it alright like all the other many stress events I have handled. How can I handle..... Got that. Yesterday I ironed for a hour I love ironing😄my symptoms still high but so what I am ok. I notice that I am far more emotional then ever before not only emotional about Corine but about everything and that I slow down more and more and am a lot more compassionate with myself "self kindness" also so.... all new things ( never ever did this) and they feel good! I made very bravely an appointment with my dentist for next Friday inspite my mouth. I hope that I won't cancel it 🙏sofar not canceled. Yes my symptoms feel very uncomfortable but they stay untill I have convinced my brain that I am actually safe and not broken. I can do this oh yes... I can. Ok love you Dan and everyone else a big hug and a big smile from me see you tomorrow 😘😘😘😎(badass) and of course wishing you and everyone a nice weekend 💞
Is it a broken tooth or tension causing the pain
You are doing great Lenneke! When I went to the dentist recently, I nearly fell asleep! I think I may have been TOO relaxed. Last year, I was a bundle of nerves and pain. Change is possible!!
@@Hinz2005 okeee 😜
@@1STBUCKLEY I need to go to the de dendist for cleaning 😒😬
@@lennekevanrossum8422 reinigen is niet leuk maar echt heel vlug voorbij, dus probeer relax te zijn!🤗
This is my favourite video so far extremely helpful
I appreciate that. Thank you.
Thanks Dan! Really great video! I had number of lightbulb moments. Thanks so much!
You're very welcome!
Alfred Hitchcock The Birds 😂 waiting for fall out 😂😂
Omg that movie is so creepy but I love it!!!
@@Hinz2005 sooo scary I watched it with Corine with our hands over our eyes.... 😵
But then again those birds were no yoocooks🐦🐦🐦🐦 eh 😜
Yes, that's what it reminded me of too.
Wow, this hit home. Thank you, so helpful! You’re work is helping me so much Dan!🙏
This is your best video! Thank you.
Wow, thank you!
Sounds like that alfred hitchck movie -the birds. 😂
I dunno I think here you are making lite of people's stress is directly linked to fear
It's not stress at work that causes this, it's the fear of I gotta do well or I'll be fired and the stress is the result
Same with being abused in the family or relationships
Sometimes you need to remove yourself from that situation
The latter half of the video is spot on with live your life
Great video Dan u inspire me everyday thank you xx
You are so welcome
This constant breathing is my main problem. If that stopped things would be better
Great video... The bird sounds are a bit omnius
Yes they do. LOL
I must admit Ive done therapy a few times for cfs and the therapists always seem to tell me I'm bored
.
I agree with them, so I try to do more, I become ambitious etc, obviously then, I'll take on some sort of hobby or challenge and I'll feel stressed and ill crash everytime
Happened 4/5 times now with therapy
Hi Dan I love your videos. I have chronic anxiety brought on with tinnitus. It is a struggle every day for me. Would you be able to do a video specifically about chronic tinnitus and anxiety please thanks Joe
I generally do not like doing symptom specific videos because the symptom type itself does not matter. I'll add it to my list and give it some thought. Until then, here is a success story:
ruclips.net/video/18Ft3mmRDAM/видео.html
@@PainFreeYou Thankyou very much
Good point but what about days when symptoms seem to get worse from stress.
It does happen, but it doesn't need to continue to happen. We can teach the brain that stress is not dangerous.
@@PainFreeYou Right - so the key is stop the worry - I am working on that. It is unfortunate that I have been letting the worry run wild for months and I have been getting more and more symptoms of pain all over.
A very common experience. But the solution is all the same. Teach the brain you are safe.@@peterwu8471
It's a vicious circle. We perceive stress as something harmful on one hand and on the other hand, the perceived danger of stress is responded to by increased stess. So what? Where shall I start to stop this cycle? By telling myself that I can cope with stress or that there is no danger.? If I tell myself that I am safe my brain asks itself why I remind it of being able to cope with stress. If I am safe, there won't be stress. So, there is no need to handle with ist, since it isn't produced. Won't both these mixed messages end up confusing my brain even more?
It's really not a mixed message. You are resilient and can handle whatever stress life throws at you. You are capable and strong.
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.
My house has to be clean & organized or i get more anxious - soninhave no oroblem cleaning and running short errands. Takking a ealk to the bank & post iffice has been easier & less fatigue if i strill casually & breath deeply - instead of trying to rush there & beat the clock - the imsginary mental clicknin my head
The imaginary mental clock in my head.
I understand what you say regarding reintroducing foods but my experience is that when I eat food, that has gluten in it, I develop a skin rash. As a diabetic this needs to be avoided so there is a lot of fear. Do you think that a trial of eating tiny amounts and closely monitoring symptoms might be a way of overcoming this? The problem is that unless I challenge myself I guess I will never find out if my situation has improved or just remains as before? Thanks Dan. 👍
Hi Paul, I have used Dan’s methods turn away from VERY restrictive eating. The methods are the same in my mind. Graded exposure would certainly be a possible way to approach reintroduction. I also don’t think you need to be in a hurry to do anything, since having a timeline can contribute to fear. Accurate knowledge is your foundation. So, it is statistically unlikely that you have a true allergy. Humans are far more tolerant and resilient than we give ourselves credit for! If you have ruled out a medical reason for a particular food restriction, then you can likely use Dan’s approaches to get that part of your life back. It isn’t a race, so be kind to yourself as you move forward! I wish you health and food-freedom!!!
It's amazing the symptoms that can show when stressed. I get rashes just thinking about it. Seems that the diabetes fear got into the brain
@@1STBUCKLEY amazing eh what our brains can create 😳
The process I recommend is here:
ruclips.net/video/mRowJmW4uk0/видео.html
In order to eliminate symptoms, we need to be willing to experience them.
Ever think those birds 🐦 in this video have Pain & many of them have learned by listening to you & told their birdie friends about you?
This is a great video Dan.
I have a question not related to the video. I am discovering that because of migraines i am afraid to make commitments, especially when it comes to helping others . I used to have issues when making plans for pleasure but for the most part I am ok. Not always. However when I want to help someone, immediately there is this fear that what if I can not. Any ideas as to how to work on that? I usually either suffer and my symptoms get worse or I tell the story how I might not be able bc of symptoms I might experience. I do it particularly bc I don't want to leave anyone hanging if I am the one they count on?
Thank you
Margaret. I cannot tell you what to do with regard to helping others. Two things you can definitely do to influence your migraines. ruclips.net/video/sE3_cs7YgCY/видео.html
Start with expecting the best and choosing a calm, reassuring response if you do get the migraine. Seems a lot of what you shared with me is based on the stories you are telling yourself about the consequences of letting others down. Tell yourself a different story.
@@PainFreeYou thank you Dan
Maybe it has like certain others have to instagate this sense of instabality Any criteqiung/nitpicking or being to particular to conscienciuos because of them
How do I start exercising again when the gentlest yoga class give me the worst pain after. I don't have pain during but after is unbearable 😢
This video will help. ruclips.net/video/sHvM_PNfvto/видео.html
God will make a way ehen their seems to be no way.
I better start saying I can lol
Neighbors next door are 🤮
Nope yoocooks for sure.🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦
😂🐦🐦🐦
haha
Thank you Dan, just thank you. 🤍🤍🤍
You are welcome, just welcome! :-)
@@PainFreeYou 💙☺️💙