I'm 60. After my husband survived a bad stroke, my entire outlook on life changed. My priorities were set in their proper order. Overnight, I stopped caring what other people thought. I stopped giving a fug, and started living for my husband and myself. Many were butt hurt because my attention shifted from their needs to mine. I've never felt stronger 💪 😊
The Courage to Be Disliked is a book that gave me a great deal to think about. People focus on Alfred Adler’s take on trauma, but his early work was on inferiority… he even invented the term “inferiority complex”… I personally recommend the book to anyone who finds themselves in an inferior position due to constant people pleasing, not setting strong boundaries with others, and neglecting to take care of yourself. I myself have done the work last year on my own people pleasing and not standing up for myself. I’m happy to say I have made some progress, and this momentum will continue into the new year
Rarely do I comment by PBD and the team, thank you for being a voice of reason and common sense and PBD for this message. I myself have recently had a significant fall-out with a sibling whereby this was my 'last straw' and I had to make the tough decision of permanently closing this chapter despite unfortunately another interaction occurring. Despite the hurtfulness, anger, frustration and disappointment now that I am a father to a beautiful 3-month old boy with an amazing woman the priority is them and only them above all else. Realising that especially as a man one must try to stay as 'level headed' as humanly possible irrespective of the insanity of the world is imperative and for me to become the best man, father and partner I really need to focus on this. Thank you for all that you guys do and for you PBD with everything you have achieved, you don't need to be challenging yourself creating a media empire, challenging all the big companies once more yet you do despite all your family responsibilities. You are incredible! Love to all of you from Australia!
I am 28 almost 29 in March. I have been through trauma but I have realized that when you have a relationship with Christ you learn to look at life with gratitude and the effect of gratitude along with humility makes you joyful. That is one of the fruits of the Spirit that St. Paul talks about in Galatians 5. When you develop a relationship with Christ and ask the Spirit to guide you, trauma, depression, and anxiety become things of the past. God bless you all at Valuetainment and may God bless the United States of America! 🙏🏽
There are individuals like myself that have thrived despite a terrible abusive upbringing by alcoholic do nothings. I have all of the things you could want in life but trauma does 100% stay with you. The traumas do shape you and form you as a person. It provides the goggins motivational shit that helps you win but still leads to really dark moments. It’s a roller coaster and a book ain’t gonna help 100% of the time
I think it’s too hard for people in good positions to see what it’s like to be that other person in the moment. Some of us can’t just work our way out of every problem no matter how hard we try. To me there’s always been a difference between an excuse and an explanation. It’s a useful tool for someone like me to think “it could be worse and it’s worse for other people” when I’m being insolent or ungrateful, but in times when I’ve been grinding myself to the ground just to keep what little I’ve got it’s feels like a slap in the face for people like PBD to essentially say we’ve got a victim complex. Some of us have irreparable damage to our body or mind and no amount of motivation or success can change that, it’s just part of who we are.
Growing up in an environment of aggression, makes encountering peace feel foreign. I couldn't help gravitating toward unstable people who satisfy that familiarity, that I am accustomed to. Decades later, I avoid those types of individuals but on occasion, I involve myself in strenuous activities to exhaust my 'dark passenger' "Dexter"
The issue with Adler's book is that it oversimplifies trauma's effects. While some people can overcome it, perhaps due to different brain functions or a stronger support system, the reality is more complex. If trauma were just an excuse, why do healthy military men return from combat with severe PTSD, altering who they once were? Or consider someone who grew up in an abusive, impoverished household without guidance, working tirelessly --;80 hours a week -- only to remain stuck. Now what if they had grown up in a healthy environment with guidance, those same 80 hours of work might have led to a better life. Sure, some might claim that they overcame their difficult circumstances, but that's a general argument that can apply to anything. Take Navy SEAL training, for example. While some pass and become SEALs, many fail. Not everyone can do it, and there are always exceptions. Life has individuals who are true juggernauts, who has significant trauma that permanently negatively impacts the amount of success and lifestyle. On the other hand, some exaggerate their struggles, which makes it challenging to distinguish the truly affected from those who are simply looking for validation.
I agree. I think the pull yourself up by your bootstraps can be compulsive and societal pressure kind of kicks people into the victim mode. Moderation ?
Thank you for sharing PBD. I just shared this video with my boyfriend. We both had traumatic births 6:29 when we were babies, and I feel like we're still dealing with it without realizing it. Thank you for this message. I've definitely noticed that in my own healing journey and I hope to inspire him to do the same. Thank you for being you! I love you. God bless you. ❤
Unless you have and lived with trauma, you cannot understand it, it will be a take it or leave it attitude and luxury that bears no personal skin or investment from you....and for those who have it, it is the greatest tool for transformation that you have created if you have the courage to dive into it, face it and FEEL your qay through it....much love
There should be no shame in helping others without it being seen as coddling them, there should be no shame in finding a way to just say "hey, I could benefit from some help"... you're exactly right about people finding a way out of it, it's also true that people weren't meant to be completely alone and sometimes even the most badass need the time, compassion, encouragement and actual hands on help of others... extreme trauma and the aftermath is Not a one size fits all
@@stevencook4002 how it is general? MAGA claim they hate tiktok and tiktokers, yet now promote and endorse a book authored by a TIKTOKER. That's called calling out a contradiction
This is just an excuse to not talk about legitimate chronic issues that plague society, plus it's very biased against certain ethnic groups because frankly successful jewish people can cry 24/7 about things that happened centuries ago and still get thoughts and prayers...
@@JmacDaloc That is the truth... no one likes to talk about it, but half the victimhood mentality that exists in this country would go away if that community wasn't here. When you think of victim mentality for a community, that is where everyone's mind goes, and that is for a reason
Yes, some people love to be "victimised". I was born into an Israeli Jewish family but I am seen as a "self-hating Jew" since I totally oppose the leadership in Israel and what IDF has done to our neighbours for decades. I have never called people criticising me or Israel antisemitic since the label lost its value by being overused. Everything is antisemitic nowadays. The Canadian truckers were labelled antisemitic by Trudeau etc.
"The world is nothing in itself, your mind must give it meaning, and what you behold upon it are your wishes acted out so you can look on them and think them real" A Course in Miracles
This is so true. I am thankful for naturally having the Adlerian psychology for my whole life. Self-victimization is the worst disease that we have. Victims are the worst people on planet earth, all evil comes from people that self-victimize.
The best thing you can do is live your life and stop worrying about opinions Most people who have never lived your experience will say you're doing it wrong Honestly Take in less opinions Listen to fewer people Trust yourself It will anger narcissistic people that you do your own thing not what they tell you to do You are who you are You can improve yourself But no book Or form of advice is going to magic genie you into a different life
I read a few books by U.G. Krishnamurti that made me realize the same. The past is dead. Enlightenment is a myth. A lot of people want what the other has in terms of spiritual awareness. And these people become parrots repeating the words of past gurus. They don't live their lives. They think about the knowledge they learned which is in the past. U.G. told people who wanted his " natural state" he could not give it or tell people how to achieve it. You do nothing . Live your life. If you are greedy, angry and so on then admit it. Some people only think about getting more money, the fancy car...etc.
Absolutely, what PBD said about the bridge. Life is beautiful despite anything. There is always another day to watch the sunrise. The simplest aspects of having been born a human, those are where it's at. This is something very inspiring that should be reminded to anyone a negative mentality. Nice discussion.
Sounds like the 'keeping up with the Jones' type of thinking when some people feel they are behind in life (examples...buying a boat, yacht, ATV, small aircraft, excessive large home, expensive vehicle, etc...), and buy things they cannot afford but makes them feel good.
Addiction is caused by trauma not being managed in a healthy and logical way, and healthcare is being expensive in the US for trauma to be properly managed
When you apply the idea that ALL THOUGHTS ARE ALL LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING you would never care to be liked. It's an isolating place to be but beautiful principle to live by
I agree with this messsage for the most part, there are a lot of people that play the victim card but are we supposed to believe Veterans that come back from war who suffer “PTSD” or people that suffer violent child abuse and horrific injuries aren’t disadvantaged to varying degrees? I know people that were born in war torn countries but never had anything bad happen to them that say people should suck it up or “I’ve been through shit” but it seems like it would be easy to say something like that and pretend you overcame something when nothing bad actually happened to you.
Exactly. The examples he gave should not be classified as "trauma." Being jealous over someone else having a more successful career is not "trauma", what so ever. Calling that trauma dilutes the meaning of the word for those that have experienced real trauma.
This is a way for individuals (silver spoon babies) who’ve never experienced adversity to discount the experiences of those who have in fact overcome traumatic experiences. I am totally in agreement that the word “trauma” has been hijacked by anybody who’s had a bad day, and I’m against people self victimizing. Too often we are defined by our trauma. It is us that hold the key to moving on.
Trauma is simply an event that causes a chronic feeling that control was taken away. Pple are neither a victim or responsible for the event, but they are responsible for how they deal w/ it afterwards. “Control” presents the existential question of free will vs determinism. Knowing that ur safe w/ out being in control can be something like believing in a loving god if that’s ur cup of tea. It prevents victimhood, promotes using ur trauma to help others, instead of hurting others.
So being graped and that induced fear of touch, of intimacy, of working closely to anyone who looks like my perpetrator is all in my head? Me being denied justice, shunned by my own parents is in my head? Seriously? I wish you people would even know what trauma is… it’s not just denying responsibility. It’s a deep rooted fear, guilt, shame…. It’s shameful that I couldn’t raise my voice the first time, I was 6. It’s fearful to get close to anybody. I have tried countless methods to get out of it, except drugs and medications due to my pre existing condition. This is all in my head? It is not simply an event… simply? Seriously. I haven’t stopped living or helping …I haven’t stopped growing as a person, but this fear I fight on daily basis. I wish it ends…
@@Kathakathan11 I’m sorry you had your innocence stolen. I’m sorry you were hurt. I was also perpetrated upon at a very young age. We have a choice but it begins in our thoughts. We can be continually victimized or we can become victors. I couldn’t do this on my own, and I spent years in therapy. I decided how I was going to use pain for gain for others. In serving ourselves, we will miss out on an abundant life that is offered. Norman Vincent Peale stated “change your thoughts and change your world”. Scripture states in Romans 12:2 states Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. What we focus on we get more of. We must fight through the lies that would have us be victimized again. Is it an uncomfortable process, indeed it is. Muscle tissue must be broken down to rebuild stronger. The process usually causes discomfort. Renewal defined, the replacing or repair of something that is worn out, run-down, or broken, is worth the work. De Colores❤️
@@Kathakathan11 the grape trauma is so fucking tough. I can’t even understand or speak on behalf of that. All I do know is that a victim mindset has always failed me. Any person who is graped, yes they’re legally a victim, but they must fight or get someone that can advocate, reach out, to get that person sentenced. In all honesty, I just do not know how anyone can get over grape. N I didn’t mean to make a blanket statement. All traumas are of different degrees. I think in a spectrum, not black n white. I’m sorry if I misspoke n didn’t touch on the grape trauma, bc I agree 100% w/ you.
We all experience trauma. Doing shadow work is key to releasing trauma. You have to choose to change how you are going to react to triggers. Don't ignore the lessons they are trying to teach you.
To introduce myself, I am a Theologian that has also been a businessman and a pastor. I have a family of five and run a ministry business. Just read this book last week! I think every businessman and parent and pastor should read this book every couple years. I had never read a philosophy book that lines up with the Bible until this book.
Yes, it’s hard. But the rewards are worth every bit of the struggle. During my life, I learned it was all up to me to chart my course. At 86, I am still doing just that. And I will tell you, that growing old is the hardest thing I have ever done.
One of the purposes of man is to channel filter cleanse and project harmony strength and healing within and around of the energy we channel of what was is and to be, great video, thank you
The sad part is there are people who will take this message as an empowerment to be an uncompassionate a-hole to people who have genuine trauma ... like almost being murdered and being told to more or less "suck it up"
This is literally the whole gen x tech/econ bro identity on display, "yeah pull your boot straps up but please do it quietly, oh and don't walk on the new tile floor pls..."
Exactly my thoughts! AND It leads too many times to self entitlement and arrogance. Consider people's behavior in public... all the disrespect and rudeness nowadays and the next level are shootings, car crushing into people... Etc.
One of the core question we need to ask yourself is: what will or would happen if everyone on the plannet could see I have flaws and that I am not perfect? A lot of our "enemies" were simply folks we knew were able to see through our armor and our defenses. We might have had real enemies like armed thugs but a lot were people unwilling to save our face in the Asian sense. The future is not in AI but in reengaging the vulnerable parts inside. That is the fastest way to get rid of current and past "enemies."
If you don't like fighting, ONE reason is you don't like conflict. If you wanna stay at 18 degrees, you better learn to love the pain and enjoy making difficult decisions. ONLY when you love the hard stuff will you become "stoic".
Just my 2cents worth: Scripture says that we are more than conquerors. (35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a] 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.) I always ask people who struggle with emotional issues: how do you become an overcomer or a conqueror? We become more than conquerors by actually overcoming adversity and all our issues by the renewing our minds.
Trauma cannot be willed away. These fools are ignorant. It is the most misunderstood and ignored condition, especially in children, soldiers and law enforcement.
Interestingly I’ve bought two books in the last year and they’ve now been brought up on this channel. This and the 4th Turning. (Aussie and keen observer!)
Yeah I hear what your saying I tried in life and keep failing no matter what I do I'm 48 own nothing lost everything and say you gotta work harder did now I'm fucked up from romatoid arthritis and depression anxiety I gave it my all for what just so others that never walk my path to judge me or knock me down because they haven't had to fight for what little bit I got I think about ending it every fucking day because people keep bashing me fuck this world I tried
Hey bro, I see you, and I feel you... I don't know you but I believe that you believe you I'd your best... I know what it's like to feel unheard and misunderstood, and sometimes Patrick and his tram can come off as calloused for whatever reason. But for times like these, it's better to find people who can empathise with you and help you turn your life around. For me, when I'm overwhelmed or feel like I'm unheard or misunderstood ( and this happens a lot) I tell God that I'm unhappy and I feel misunderstood and I beg Him to rescue me before I do something, and He answers me, maybe not right away, but He does eventually, and sometimes the help may just be enough for today, and tomorrow if I am faced with the same issue, I cry out again. All in all I just want to say to you that you are heard and understood and there are people who feel the same way you do, and there is a God that you can cry out to in times of hardship or times where you feel depressed or anxious or misunderstood
It’s true that people must ultimately be responsible for themselves. But the theory about trauma does have some uncontrollable effects. In fact, trauma victims sometimes have such low self-awareness and have blocked out the memories to the extent that they don’t understand they’ve been traumatized and still display symptoms while unwitting to its cause.
Krishna, Buddha and Lao Tzu had similar context to explain how concious life functions and how one needs to be on its own, without requiring fear or courage about how other outside the body would perceive.
Poor interpretation of trauma, too simplistic.....there are different levels of intensity...agree however certain traumas actually rewire brain influences behavior...
Ive seen people who use the word trauma to describe social or job failures (ie trauma of a friend talking about me behind my back). She was even telling someone about her trauma to a gal who suffered SA from a parent. Be careful about wearing your problems on your sleeve. You might discover that that “carefree” person had it ten times worse than you.
If you want yo understand Trauma, just read books or watch any podcasts with Gabor Mate. You won’t find a more research and compassionate take on the subject. Gabor owns all his mistake thanks to compassionate enquiry. He changed and is changing my life for the better
What about when you work harder than all the ones around you. What about when the incompetence of the ones around you interferes with your progress. What about when you work around people that are only good at getting in the way.
People(most so women, based off my personal experiences in public) use the word trauma for unjustified causes. You choosing the wrong man over and over again isn't trauma. Or the wrong woman over and over again. It's you. Trauma is surviving at Khe Sanh in Vietnam.
There's no such thing as Internal Locus of control. Life is sadly all about luck. Don't believe me? Go to a hospital for people with crippling disabilities.
I'm 60. After my husband survived a bad stroke, my entire outlook on life changed. My priorities were set in their proper order. Overnight, I stopped caring what other people thought. I stopped giving a fug, and started living for my husband and myself. Many were butt hurt because my attention shifted from their needs to mine.
I've never felt stronger 💪 😊
Mine had a stroke at 61, devastating for us.He too is my priority 24 hours a day. It putS everything in perspective, I've purged so much in my life!
The Courage to Be Disliked is a book that gave me a great deal to think about. People focus on Alfred Adler’s take on trauma, but his early work was on inferiority… he even invented the term “inferiority complex”… I personally recommend the book to anyone who finds themselves in an inferior position due to constant people pleasing, not setting strong boundaries with others, and neglecting to take care of yourself.
I myself have done the work last year on my own people pleasing and not standing up for myself. I’m happy to say I have made some progress, and this momentum will continue into the new year
Rarely do I comment by PBD and the team, thank you for being a voice of reason and common sense and PBD for this message.
I myself have recently had a significant fall-out with a sibling whereby this was my 'last straw' and I had to make the tough decision of permanently closing this chapter despite unfortunately another interaction occurring. Despite the hurtfulness, anger, frustration and disappointment now that I am a father to a beautiful 3-month old boy with an amazing woman the priority is them and only them above all else.
Realising that especially as a man one must try to stay as 'level headed' as humanly possible irrespective of the insanity of the world is imperative and for me to become the best man, father and partner I really need to focus on this.
Thank you for all that you guys do and for you PBD with everything you have achieved, you don't need to be challenging yourself creating a media empire, challenging all the big companies once more yet you do despite all your family responsibilities. You are incredible!
Love to all of you from Australia!
I am 28 almost 29 in March. I have been through trauma but I have realized that when you have a relationship with Christ you learn to look at life with gratitude and the effect of gratitude along with humility makes you joyful. That is one of the fruits of the Spirit that St. Paul talks about in Galatians 5. When you develop a relationship with Christ and ask the Spirit to guide you, trauma, depression, and anxiety become things of the past. God bless you all at Valuetainment and may God bless the United States of America! 🙏🏽
There are individuals like myself that have thrived despite a terrible abusive upbringing by alcoholic do nothings.
I have all of the things you could want in life but trauma does 100% stay with you. The traumas do shape you and form you as a person. It provides the goggins motivational shit that helps you win but still leads to really dark moments. It’s a roller coaster and a book ain’t gonna help 100% of the time
I think it’s too hard for people in good positions to see what it’s like to be that other person in the moment. Some of us can’t just work our way out of every problem no matter how hard we try. To me there’s always been a difference between an excuse and an explanation. It’s a useful tool for someone like me to think “it could be worse and it’s worse for other people” when I’m being insolent or ungrateful, but in times when I’ve been grinding myself to the ground just to keep what little I’ve got it’s feels like a slap in the face for people like PBD to essentially say we’ve got a victim complex. Some of us have irreparable damage to our body or mind and no amount of motivation or success can change that, it’s just part of who we are.
Growing up in an environment of aggression, makes encountering peace feel foreign. I couldn't help gravitating toward unstable people who satisfy that familiarity, that I am accustomed to. Decades later, I avoid those types of individuals but on occasion, I involve myself in strenuous activities to exhaust my 'dark passenger' "Dexter"
"The Courage to be Disliked" is a phenomenal book
What a great message!!! It puts accountability and responsibility on the individual. Being accountable and responsible to self.
The issue with Adler's book is that it oversimplifies trauma's effects. While some people can overcome it, perhaps due to different brain functions or a stronger support system, the reality is more complex. If trauma were just an excuse, why do healthy military men return from combat with severe PTSD, altering who they once were? Or consider someone who grew up in an abusive, impoverished household without guidance, working tirelessly --;80 hours a week -- only to remain stuck. Now what if they had grown up in a healthy environment with guidance, those same 80 hours of work might have led to a better life.
Sure, some might claim that they overcame their difficult circumstances, but that's a general argument that can apply to anything. Take Navy SEAL training, for example. While some pass and become SEALs, many fail. Not everyone can do it, and there are always exceptions. Life has individuals who are true juggernauts, who has significant trauma that permanently negatively impacts the amount of success and lifestyle. On the other hand, some exaggerate their struggles, which makes it challenging to distinguish the truly affected from those who are simply looking for validation.
I agree. I think the pull yourself up by your bootstraps can be compulsive and societal pressure kind of kicks people into the victim mode. Moderation ?
Thank you for sharing PBD. I just shared this video with my boyfriend. We both had traumatic births 6:29 when we were babies, and I feel like we're still dealing with it without realizing it. Thank you for this message. I've definitely noticed that in my own healing journey and I hope to inspire him to do the same. Thank you for being you! I love you. God bless you. ❤
Unless you have and lived with trauma, you cannot understand it, it will be a take it or leave it attitude and luxury that bears no personal skin or investment from you....and for those who have it, it is the greatest tool for transformation that you have created if you have the courage to dive into it, face it and FEEL your qay through it....much love
Traumatic experiences could strengthen you and make you callous to future struggles, but it's overwhelming to experience it, especially without help
This book is in my never ending pile to read. I believe this message was for me. Thanks team.
it's really crazy how nobody is talking about the book the elite society's money manifestation
This was your best message ever! You’ll have to come back and summarize the book!!!
There should be no shame in helping others without it being seen as coddling them, there should be no shame in finding a way to just say "hey, I could benefit from some help"... you're exactly right about people finding a way out of it, it's also true that people weren't meant to be completely alone and sometimes even the most badass need the time, compassion, encouragement and actual hands on help of others... extreme trauma and the aftermath is Not a one size fits all
PBD, I too am behind my reading, but daily events keep me from keeping up on it! Thank you for this suggestion on reading this book.
A book, authored by a Tiktoker, the very thing conservatives claim they hate 😂
@@user-ji7jw4qr9zThat’s a pretty general statement. 🙄
@@stevencook4002 how it is general? MAGA claim they hate tiktok and tiktokers, yet now promote and endorse a book authored by a TIKTOKER. That's called calling out a contradiction
I pray God this gets to us All the youth's out here especially to those who are always negative!
God bless you all ❣️🙏
We have an epidemic of victimhood in our country.
It’s just from 1 community that suffers from that.
DemocRats
This is just an excuse to not talk about legitimate chronic issues that plague society, plus it's very biased against certain ethnic groups because frankly successful jewish people can cry 24/7 about things that happened centuries ago and still get thoughts and prayers...
@@JmacDaloc That is the truth... no one likes to talk about it, but half the victimhood mentality that exists in this country would go away if that community wasn't here. When you think of victim mentality for a community, that is where everyone's mind goes, and that is for a reason
Yes, some people love to be "victimised". I was born into an Israeli Jewish family but I am seen as a "self-hating Jew" since I totally oppose the leadership in Israel and what IDF has done to our neighbours for decades. I have never called people criticising me or Israel antisemitic since the label lost its value by being overused. Everything is antisemitic nowadays. The Canadian truckers were labelled antisemitic by Trudeau etc.
"The world is nothing in itself, your mind must give it meaning, and what you behold upon it are your wishes acted out so you can look on them and think them real" A Course in Miracles
Message received and I can’t tell u how much i needed to hear that right now. Thanks. 🙏
This is so true. I am thankful for naturally having the Adlerian psychology for my whole life. Self-victimization is the worst disease that we have. Victims are the worst people on planet earth, all evil comes from people that self-victimize.
The best thing you can do is live your life and stop worrying about opinions
Most people who have never lived your experience will say you're doing it wrong
Honestly
Take in less opinions
Listen to fewer people
Trust yourself
It will anger narcissistic people that you do your own thing not what they tell you to do
You are who you are
You can improve yourself
But no book
Or form of advice is going to magic genie you into a different life
Bro this advice is terrible, you're just asking for subjective reasoning and wilful narcissism.
I read a few books by U.G. Krishnamurti that made me realize the same. The past is dead. Enlightenment is a myth. A lot of people want what the other has in terms of spiritual awareness. And these people become parrots repeating the words of past gurus. They don't live their lives. They think about the knowledge they learned which is in the past.
U.G. told people who wanted his " natural state" he could not give it or tell people how to achieve it. You do nothing .
Live your life. If you are greedy, angry and so on then admit it. Some people only think about getting more money, the fancy car...etc.
Absolutely, what PBD said about the bridge. Life is beautiful despite anything. There is always another day to watch the sunrise. The simplest aspects of having been born a human, those are where it's at.
This is something very inspiring that should be reminded to anyone a negative mentality. Nice discussion.
Life is hard. Watching the sunrise is fine and dandy, but it’s rather fleeting.
@@stevencook4002 That it be so doesn't make these things less beautiful
Sounds like the 'keeping up with the Jones' type of thinking when some people feel they are behind in life (examples...buying a boat, yacht, ATV, small aircraft, excessive large home, expensive vehicle, etc...), and buy things they cannot afford but makes them feel good.
Not every trauma causes addiction. Every addiction is caused by trauma
Addiction is caused by trauma not being managed in a healthy and logical way, and healthcare is being expensive in the US for trauma to be properly managed
When you apply the idea that ALL THOUGHTS ARE ALL LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING you would never care to be liked. It's an isolating place to be but beautiful principle to live by
Thank you, love all your content! Much love from Canada 🇨🇦 ❤
People are very resilient. The current "safety first" and trauma obsessed culture is making people fragile.
I agree with this messsage for the most part, there are a lot of people that play the victim card but are we supposed to believe Veterans that come back from war who suffer “PTSD” or people that suffer violent child abuse and horrific injuries aren’t disadvantaged to varying degrees? I know people that were born in war torn countries but never had anything bad happen to them that say people should suck it up or “I’ve been through shit” but it seems like it would be easy to say something like that and pretend you overcame something when nothing bad actually happened to you.
Exactly. The examples he gave should not be classified as "trauma."
Being jealous over someone else having a more successful career is not "trauma", what so ever.
Calling that trauma dilutes the meaning of the word for those that have experienced real trauma.
This is a way for individuals (silver spoon babies) who’ve never experienced adversity to discount the experiences of those who have in fact overcome traumatic experiences.
I am totally in agreement that the word “trauma” has been hijacked by anybody who’s had a bad day, and I’m against people self victimizing. Too often we are defined by our trauma. It is us that hold the key to moving on.
Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, comes to mind. Thanks PBD, I love this message!
Trauma is simply an event that causes a chronic feeling that control was taken away. Pple are neither a victim or responsible for the event, but they are responsible for how they deal w/ it afterwards. “Control” presents the existential question of free will vs determinism. Knowing that ur safe w/ out being in control can be something like believing in a loving god if that’s ur cup of tea. It prevents victimhood, promotes using ur trauma to help others, instead of hurting others.
So being graped and that induced fear of touch, of intimacy, of working closely to anyone who looks like my perpetrator is all in my head? Me being denied justice, shunned by my own parents is in my head?
Seriously?
I wish you people would even know what trauma is… it’s not just denying responsibility. It’s a deep rooted fear, guilt, shame…. It’s shameful that I couldn’t raise my voice the first time, I was 6.
It’s fearful to get close to anybody.
I have tried countless methods to get out of it, except drugs and medications due to my pre existing condition.
This is all in my head?
It is not simply an event… simply? Seriously.
I haven’t stopped living or helping …I haven’t stopped growing as a person, but this fear I fight on daily basis. I wish it ends…
Even while I help,others the fear doesn’t go away. Each person is different and hence each person is uncertain….
@@Kathakathan11 I’m sorry you had your innocence stolen. I’m sorry you were hurt.
I was also perpetrated upon at a very young age.
We have a choice but it begins in our thoughts. We can be continually victimized or we can become victors. I couldn’t do this on my own, and I spent years in therapy.
I decided how I was going to use pain for gain for others. In serving ourselves, we will miss out on an abundant life that is offered. Norman Vincent Peale stated “change your thoughts and change your world”. Scripture states in Romans 12:2 states Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
What we focus on we get more of. We must fight through the lies that would have us be victimized again. Is it an uncomfortable process, indeed it is. Muscle tissue must be broken down to rebuild stronger. The process usually causes discomfort. Renewal defined, the replacing or repair of something that is worn out, run-down, or broken, is worth the work.
De Colores❤️
@@Kathakathan11 the grape trauma is so fucking tough. I can’t even understand or speak on behalf of that. All I do know is that a victim mindset has always failed me. Any person who is graped, yes they’re legally a victim, but they must fight or get someone that can advocate, reach out, to get that person sentenced. In all honesty, I just do not know how anyone can get over grape. N I didn’t mean to make a blanket statement. All traumas are of different degrees. I think in a spectrum, not black n white. I’m sorry if I misspoke n didn’t touch on the grape trauma, bc I agree 100% w/ you.
Great show PBD! Thank you!
We all experience trauma. Doing shadow work is key to releasing trauma. You have to choose to change how you are going to react to triggers. Don't ignore the lessons they are trying to teach you.
I like what you said about working harder to succeed. That’s most of the battle. Thanks
I LOVE this video! So helpful. Please make more videos like this as well. Much love PBD❤ I’m a huge fan😎🇮🇷
To introduce myself, I am a Theologian that has also been a businessman and a pastor. I have a family of five and run a ministry business.
Just read this book last week!
I think every businessman and parent and pastor should read this book every couple years.
I had never read a philosophy book that lines up with the Bible until this book.
Read The Corpus Hermitcum, sounds like we need some more reading to do
More videos like this guys! VALUETAINMENT not hot topic coverage is why I subscribed
18 degrees celsius I'm guessing 😂😂 hard to drink ice
Right! Japan uses the metric system and Celsius, not the imperial system like in the US or the UK.
I immediately thought the same thing
18 degrees Celsius is 64 degrees Fahrenheit …
whats the temperature of yellow snow
@ … depends on how fresh it is ! “Watch out where those Huskies go , don’t you eat no yellow snow …”
I do agree with that mentality, I'm not defined by my trauma. when people learn my past, Ithey don't understand how I'm so happy and successful .
I think this clip just saved my life, thankyou PBD
I just got this book, can't wait to dig in.
That a Tiktoker authored
Thank you, Pat, this is very insightful.
Yes, it’s hard. But the rewards are worth every bit of the struggle. During my life, I learned it was all up to me to chart my course. At 86, I am still doing just that. And I will tell you, that growing old is the hardest thing I have ever done.
Patrick, you shoukd invite Pierre Poilievre before he becomes Prime Minister of Canada. It would be a great convo
Wow, this is one of the best things I heard today.
The way Adaxum is moving, 100x feels like just the start!
Dude! Reading the same book, thank you Huberman and Peterson 👍
Thanks for the recommendation
This ideology was originally formed by Nietzsche… “if you believe someone ruined your life, you’re right. It’s you.”
One of the purposes of man is to channel filter cleanse and project harmony strength and healing within and around of the energy we channel of what was is and to be, great video, thank you
The sad part is there are people who will take this message as an empowerment to be an uncompassionate a-hole to people who have genuine trauma ... like almost being murdered and being told to more or less "suck it up"
This is literally the whole gen x tech/econ bro identity on display, "yeah pull your boot straps up but please do it quietly, oh and don't walk on the new tile floor pls..."
Exactly my thoughts!
AND
It leads too many times to self entitlement and arrogance. Consider people's behavior in public... all the disrespect and rudeness nowadays and the next level are shootings, car crushing into people... Etc.
This is a great message. Thank you
Much love PBD Ent.
❤
Wow! Makes so much sense.
One of the core question we need to ask yourself is: what will or would happen if everyone on the plannet could see I have flaws and that I am not perfect? A lot of our "enemies" were simply folks we knew were able to see through our armor and our defenses. We might have had real enemies like armed thugs but a lot were people unwilling to save our face in the Asian sense. The future is not in AI but in reengaging the vulnerable parts inside. That is the fastest way to get rid of current and past "enemies."
I received your message and it made me realise alot.thanks!!
If you don't like fighting, ONE reason is you don't like conflict.
If you wanna stay at 18 degrees, you better learn to love the pain and enjoy making difficult decisions. ONLY when you love the hard stuff will you become "stoic".
Tomorrow is another day, you will get through it , their is a light, in tomorrow, 🎆🎆🎆
Water is soft, but it can break rock. Be as water my friend.
Thank you 🙏🏽
I listen to it several times is wonderful book
The Whale 🐋 example it's really thought provoking
Kind of crazy that DBD didnt know what relative temperature is.
Thank you pat
Just my 2cents worth:
Scripture says that we are more than conquerors.
(35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.)
I always ask people who struggle with emotional issues: how do you become an overcomer or a conqueror?
We become more than conquerors by actually overcoming adversity and all our issues by the renewing our minds.
Fight or flight is tricky. When we’re fighting, we’re also escaping. I GAVE UP alcohol, n that is a healthy fight n flight, daily.
Lovely way of looking at the future!
It hit thanks guys
Very poignant and relevant even personally. Love the show
Trauma cannot be willed away. These fools are ignorant. It is the most misunderstood and ignored condition, especially in children, soldiers and law enforcement.
Interestingly I’ve bought two books in the last year and they’ve now been brought up on this channel.
This and the 4th Turning.
(Aussie and keen observer!)
Well said!
Patton would love this guy.
Just got it! Message received at the perfect time! Happy 2025!
Great message!
TRUTH!
I got The Academy for Christmas!
Yeah I hear what your saying I tried in life and keep failing no matter what I do I'm 48 own nothing lost everything and say you gotta work harder did now I'm fucked up from romatoid arthritis and depression anxiety I gave it my all for what just so others that never walk my path to judge me or knock me down because they haven't had to fight for what little bit I got I think about ending it every fucking day because people keep bashing me fuck this world I tried
Hey bro, I see you, and I feel you... I don't know you but I believe that you believe you I'd your best... I know what it's like to feel unheard and misunderstood, and sometimes Patrick and his tram can come off as calloused for whatever reason. But for times like these, it's better to find people who can empathise with you and help you turn your life around. For me, when I'm overwhelmed or feel like I'm unheard or misunderstood ( and this happens a lot) I tell God that I'm unhappy and I feel misunderstood and I beg Him to rescue me before I do something, and He answers me, maybe not right away, but He does eventually, and sometimes the help may just be enough for today, and tomorrow if I am faced with the same issue, I cry out again.
All in all I just want to say to you that you are heard and understood and there are people who feel the same way you do, and there is a God that you can cry out to in times of hardship or times where you feel depressed or anxious or misunderstood
Great content
Beautiful
It’s true that people must ultimately be responsible for themselves. But the theory about trauma does have some uncontrollable effects. In fact, trauma victims sometimes have such low self-awareness and have blocked out the memories to the extent that they don’t understand they’ve been traumatized and still display symptoms while unwitting to its cause.
Krishna, Buddha and Lao Tzu had similar context to explain how concious life functions and how one needs to be on its own, without requiring fear or courage about how other outside the body would perceive.
Adaxum is the next 100x project, getting in early before it’s too late!
Poor interpretation of trauma, too simplistic.....there are different levels of intensity...agree however certain traumas actually rewire brain influences behavior...
Crazy im actually reading it currently
PBD waxing sapient; a spiritual guru. I like it. 🙂
That's a funny way of saying "scammer"
Ill take the message and get the book.
Ive seen people who use the word trauma to describe social or job failures (ie trauma of a friend talking about me behind my back). She was even telling someone about her trauma to a gal who suffered SA from a parent. Be careful about wearing your problems on your sleeve. You might discover that that “carefree” person had it ten times worse than you.
Very interesting topic.
If you want yo understand Trauma, just read books or watch any podcasts with Gabor Mate. You won’t find a more research and compassionate take on the subject. Gabor owns all his mistake thanks to compassionate enquiry. He changed and is changing my life for the better
PBD means 18 degrees Celsius by the way…..great topic once again!
That’s why i stay away from ppl now im tired of being a therapist
This idea that we choose how trauma affects us really made me stop and think… Is it possible to just let go of the past and not let it define us? 🤔
What about when you work harder than all the ones around you. What about when the incompetence of the ones around you interferes with your progress. What about when you work around people that are only good at getting in the way.
If you are not disliked, you are not trying hard enough
Opportunities like Adaxum come once; don’t be the one who regrets it!
Trauma is way more complex than he is making it sound.
People(most so women, based off my personal experiences in public) use the word trauma for unjustified causes. You choosing the wrong man over and over again isn't trauma. Or the wrong woman over and over again. It's you. Trauma is surviving at Khe Sanh in Vietnam.
Internal vs external locus of control.
There's no such thing as Internal Locus of control. Life is sadly all about luck. Don't believe me? Go to a hospital for people with crippling disabilities.
This is good.