Your first and second tips. . 100% true. I am Australian and have had the pleasure of travelling to France several times (usually on guided tours, but not always). On one occasion, my wife and I were on a bus tour in southern France (I don't remember exactly where we were that day) but one of the other tourists with us on the bus (who also happened to be Australian) needed to buy some cortizone cream for a rash that had developed on her face. She and her husband went into a local Pharmacy and tried to make themselves understood, but without success. They came out of the Pharmacy and said to me that they couldn't get what they needed because they couldn't communicate. I said "I'll give it a try" They said "Good luck. I don't think they like English speaking people" Now. . the important bit. . Before I ever went to France for the first time, I memorized this phrase. . . "Bonjour (Madame/Monsieur etc). Je ne parle pas Français. Je suis Australien. Parlez vous Anglais?" I went into the Phamacy, used my 'magic' phrase and the Pharmacist replied "Oui Monsieur. A little". . Then I mentioned "cortizone". . "creme". . . "Visage" (the only words I could think of) to try to communicate our need, and the Pharmacist was happy to help and showed us several products, which we could Google to see if the were suitable for the lady's skin condition. Afterwards those other Australians asked "How did you get him to help?" I explained my "magic phrase" and they both learned it immediately and had a MUCH better experience in France for the rest of their vacation. Simple courtesy is all it takes.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve visited France, but your tips are spot on. I greeted everyone with “bonjour” and spoke to them in French as best as I was able (I studied up a little before coming). When I reached the point that it became apparent I could not communicate my thoughts adequately, every Parisians I met started talking to me in English without my asking. I did witness one incident of the “ugly Americans”. I was people watching and drinking wine at a cafe across from the Tuileries Gardens. The server and I were talking about American football (he was a fan) when an American couple sat down at the table next to me. The husband began snapping his fingers demanding service. (It was like scene in a bad movie from the 1930s.) Then he started complaining to the server because the menu was in French. Then he asked the server about speaking in English. The server replied, “Je ne parle pas anglais”then turned to me and said in perfect English, “Are you certain you don’t want a sandwich with your wine.” I almost knocked my carafe over I was laughing so hard.
Yep, French people in service will HATE anyone, foreigner or not, talking to them like they're supposed to be a servant. Respect goes both ways and goes a long way. We're all equal as people, and no waiter will rely on a rude person's tip. Not acknowledging this is missing out on a major cultural thing of the country you visit as a foreigner.
So Parisien! (I am from Paris, so my remark is not a criticism, but I recognise our way of being ironic.) Unless things have changed since I lived there, in France the customer isn't always right and the waiter is perfectly comfortable showing his disapproval with tongue in cheek. I think that is a major difference between French / most European people and the Americans of USA.
Bonjour, we are leaving for France in a few days and this was a good reminder. In previous trips to France I always said "Bonjour" with a smile and found the French people I met to be lovely. When in a cafe, I would tell the waiter I would try to speak in French and to feel free to correct my pronunciation because I wanted to improve. It was ok to laugh at my efforts and we had a lovely time. My best advice to visitors in another country is go without any assumptions or expectations other than that you will see and learn new things that will enrich your experience. Merci for your hints and tips!
Many Americans I know who have visited France have said that the people there were not friendly. I found it to be the exact opposite because I did always say Bonjour/Bonsoir, I would try to say at least a few words in French, and I would never just start speaking English to a stranger without first asking, “Parlez-vous anglais?” Doing that seemed to make all the difference.
Bonjour!! We visited Paris for the first time in Nov 2015 and sadly were told some negative things about the French that they’re rude and not helpful to Americans but that wasn’t going to burst my bubble at all!! I love the culture, food and language of the French and practiced the greetings, merci and si’l vous plait over and over plus a few other things. BUT I always started off talking in broken French asking if they spoke English and every single person we came across was so kind and even went beyond!!! It blew my mind. It was so overwhelming because we’re not fluent at all but what little I would say would make the locals want to help us! Or maybe cos I was constantly smiling lol If you’re rude don’t expect kindness! When someone visits your home you expect your guests to respect you and your home it’s no difference visiting another country 😊
This is so true. I simply said "Bon jour" to the man working in the French post office, and he helped immensely with purchasing stamps and getting my post cards mailed off. All while speaking fluent English. :)
Bonjour tout le monde. I certainly knew about saying "bonjour" when greeting shopkeepers etc., but I had an experience in Paris that taught me a lifelong lesson. I was not confident about engaging someone in a conversation as my French was very limited at that time. We were to take the Air France shuttle bus from Étoile to Charles de Gaulle airport. When we got to Étoile there were two buses, one going to CDG and the other to ORY. I approached the man loading luggage under one of the buses and simply asked, "Charles de Gaulle?". His response, "Bonjour. Oui monsieur." I felt like 2 cents. Here was a labourer who had better manners than me. That simple exchange taught me a lifelong lesson. That was 15 years ago and to this day, I go out of my way to be as polite as I can. When I walk in front of someone in the grocery store who is staring at the shelf, I always say excuse me as I pass. I think I also do that because very few people say it and I am hoping to spread the practice. But that is also something I observed in Paris. Anyone who cut in front of me, even on a crowded street would always say "Pardon". Time and time again the people throughout France showed that politeness was a national trait. I frankly left France wondering how the French people got the reputation for being rude and aloof. And also grateful for them showing me how to be a better person.
Bonjour! The point you made about trying to speak *some* French, even if it's the most basic of basic goes a LONG way! In Canada, we have to take French up until Grade 9. (I took to Gr. 10). So no, I'm hardly fluent, but I know enough to get by. And wow! When I first arrived in Paris for a holiday with my mom, we got lost on the way to the hotel. I went inside a restaurant and said to the woman at the desk that we were lost and could she direct us to our hotel. This woman practically took us by the hand to show us where. So, I won't believe it that French people are rude. They're not. If you make the effort, they will be nice to you.
You are totally right. As a french person I can attest that not saying bonjour is very rude and almost seen as telling "I don't see you as a person" to someone. Tourist see us as rude but they son't know that most of the time it's because we see them as rude first and don't want to be nice with people with no consideration.
I had a native French lady tell me she liked when I would say when something was different and not call it bad, weird or strange. Thanks again for another great video!
In France, we're used to teach children the "magic words" to have a conversation. Bonjour, S'il vous plait, Merci, Aurevoir,... Yes they are mandatory to social interactions.
I think they're not magic only in the U.S. I always learn these basic polite words in every country I go to. It works everywhere because everyone is proud and happy when you try to talk their langage to come to them.
Ahhhh, I made the major faux pas of not saying “Bonjour” to a waiter in Paris! Everyone else at my table got great service...except me. BIG lesson learned! I had never heard about the importance of this greeting...and will never forget it! It didn’t make me mad, it embarassed me that I was so clueless about a basic feature of French politeness.
Hello @@woodywolf0309for french People, it is so basic, you can expect it from a 3 year kid and correct the kid if he don't say Bonjour/Au revoir s'il vous plaît/ Merci Not saying Bonjour/Au revoir is a way to show your irrespect for a person and that's so basic it's always voluntary when we do that .... If you don't say hello to a coworker for example, then you are saying to that person, don't expect anything from me and i will not expect anything from you ..... That's not an only friend thing , it's basic respect you show for everyone. That Include all people you are interacting with: family , teachers ,boss , friend , shop cashier ... So for the waiter, Hope you understand now If you don't apply that, you will live a nightmare in France where no one will want to help you for anything Bonjour Twice a day is better than None And so when you don't say hello you're asking for animosity French People don't even think you can skip basic politeness like that anywhere in the world , it's really unthinkable. the first word you will learn in any language in French school is Hello If you think you have been unheard say it a second time ! If you hear someone saying Bonjour to you multiple time just say you're sorry and say hello, you can say "désolé, bonjour "
Hello Diane, great tips.You're so right that many tourists don't understand the importance of the simple word "bonjour" in France. I've also heard tourists complain about service but the kicker is when some tourists go to a market and see something they are not used to and say " yuck that looks disgusting", or scrunching up their face..
Bonjour Diane I'm from Puerto Rico and taught you must greet a person before you start a conversation. I expect that "Hi" or Hello, I think if people don't greet me they're very rude. I've lived in NJ for 51 years now. I taught my kids to greet people when you enter a home or place of worship. I'm with the French. Auvoir
Pro tip : if you have difficulties to pronounce the "au revoir", you can say (from morning to 4 pm, let's say) "bonne journée" (have a nice day, pronounced approximately "bun journay") or "bonne soirée" (have a nice evening, promounced "bun swarray"). It's a perfect alternative while leaving a person.
Aside from Merci if anyone was quite helpful with you do not hesitate to say "Merci beaucoup" It will be quite appreciated. Also I do agree that Bonjour is mandatory everywhere. Even in Paris, saying a Bonjour and adding a smile is the magic combo to get much more attention even on tourist venues. People will be much more friendly with you and you will enjoy your day 👍 In France there is even a "game" people plays with rude people on their neighborhood, they say Bonjour first to force the rude person to answer with another Bonjour, quite funny as even the rudest person always end up by answering back a Bonjour soon or later 😉
Thank you, Diane. I learn how to say please, thank you and basic phrases before going to any country. You are 100% correct. Part of my travel mindset is that as an American, I am NOT in the US, therefore it is a basic sign of respect to make an effort to use the same language as the locals. From 1990, this has been successful for me in Japan, Russia, Mexico, Thailand, China and France. On occasions, as I am modestly greeting a local, not 30 feet from us, a loud American complained how things aren't done this way in 'The States. Wearing a baseball cap doesnt help, either. Good on you, Diane.
My late partner and I went to France in 2001. He, grudgingly, as he recounted his experiences of policemen refusing to give him directions in the late 60's. He was amazed at how my limited French attempts paved the way for easy and beneficial interactions. I have been back a couple of times and always find people are super friendly and helpful, if you show that you are earnest and trying. No, they will not give you a hug and say "bless your heart." But they will respond to your courtesy with courtesy and maybe even direct you to the best bakery in the neighborhood!! (And they are always right!)
Yup, simple courtesy goes a long way and mixed with a little cultural know-how, you can't go wrong. As you said, you might get some great recommendations! I'm sorry about your partner's passing.
In my hometown we even say bonjour to everyone we bypass in the streets. Unless you're in a very crowded environment, you are expected to greet everyone at all times.
Not saying Bonjour is like saying “Hey You” to us. Instant hackles up. I personally found the French treated me better than people at home in Melbourne would.
To this, I would add some sort of comment about restaurants, cafes, etc. in France and the differences in service. Many Americans don't understand that in France, the bill does not come until you ask for it, unlike in America where the server brings the bill while you are still eating! In France, you are expected to enjoy your meal and ask for the bill when you are ready to go.
Salut, J'habite à Lyon, les touristes anglophones oublient souvent que nous pouvons comprendre leurs conversations, pas forcément très flatteuse à nôtre égard (les français ). Deuxième point, pour demander Son chemin un "parlez-vous anglais" aide un peu avant d'interroger un passant.
Always remember that any French worker knows their job better than you know their job. I bought a bag and the shop assistant wouldn't let me leave the shop until the strap was adjusted to the right length. Anything else would have reflected badly on her. Browsing in shops, unless you are in a major tourist area, is not common. If you look like you need help, you will be asked what you want and you need to have an answer ready...
So glad I did my homework before my trip. Didn't dress like a tourist and a smile and feeble attempt at French was SO appreciated by the people I spoke and dealt with. It was a wonderful experience and I felt welcomed with everyone and everywhere
Bonjour! I once stumbled w/limited French to a hotel manager who lost his patience as he was very busy. "Just tell me what you want in English!" he tersely said. I apologized & got what I needed. I apologized to him again later & he was very nice to me. France is different, but the people are very much the same as anywhere else - respect them & their home and they will take care of you. I enjoy your videos!
One of the things I noticed when I was in France was that it often seemed as if Americans seemed to believe that everyone but them is the "foreigner". I think that a lot of the lack of "politesse" starts with not having a clear. understanding that you, who come from a different country, are the foreigner. It is not only disrespectful, but it smells of contempt. How would you expect someone who feels they are the target of your contempt to respond to you?
Common courtesy should be universal. Visitors from anywhere who goes anywhere should be courteous and polite. I work in an industry where politeness has gone out the window. We are travelling to Paris in August 2022 and I am looking forward to using my rudimentary French and to enjoy the country.
My son and I visited Paris last year. We practiced a few words and researched by reading and watching videos like this. We stayed at an Airbnb and not many people in the shops or restaurants around us spoke English. But we tried with our phrases we knew and were always treated well and had a great time. I did witness a few American tourists her not so pleasant responses in a restaurant after not being respectful.
When I was doing my seller study, my teacher give us a tips to make a good relationship with a customer. She said we have to use le "SBAM". SBAM is : Sourire (Smile) Bonjour (Hello) Au revoir (Good Bye) Merci (Thanks). If you apply the SBAM 95% of your relation with someone are gonna be Ok (there is always 5% of idiots who doesn' want to comunicate with you). Even if you don't speak french, le "SBAM" will help you and you'll see that french can be very nice and helpfull. I'm french, I don't speak very well english, so excuse my mistakes
I can definitely say that my 3 months of studying the French culture and language before we left paid off in a major way. I could order, ask for directions, buy things and hold basic conversations. Everyone was so nice! They even went out of their way to help and sometimes laughed at my pronunciations - in a playful way. RUclips and Audible has great resources. Duolingo is great as well. It was great being about to say Bonjour, deux cafe cremes sil vous plait. Merci et bonne journee! I could even call restaurants for reservations and got in to a few places that were booked online. It totally enhanced our trip. Such great advice! Thank you!
Bonjour! 😊 I'm French, lived in the US for 2 years and, strangely enough, never noticed that (some) people did not say hello before engaging in a conversation. On the contrary I found that hi is very common. Now for bonjour, it's definitely a must in France (and Belgium). Equality is very important here and saying bonjour is a way of showing respect to any person, regardless of its position in relation with you.
Bonsoir ! i concur, "bonjour", s"il vous plait", "merci" and "au revoir", these four expressions will open every door in France. Don't focus on your accent because ... you will be facing a french guy or woman who is terribly focused - and most of the time ashamed - of her or his english accent. yes, we may forget to be polite among ourselves but we never fail to notice rude people, whether they are french (how dare they?) or foreigners (les pauvres!). And we are french enough to act accordingly, even if you won't even notice. By the way, judgment talks are rude: most french do not speak a fluent english but you will always be heard by someone who understand what you say and, depending on the rudeness of your words, will translate them quietly. or not. One last thing: never forget that, in any case, you are most welcome in France. We love visitors and we just wait for the "bonjour" keyword to show you how proud we are to host you. So, mille merci Diane for your advices, they are the best ones. And merci for living here among us. Et au revoir, of course! :-)
Bonjour! I never had any bad experience in France. Service staff were nice. I never had any French subjects at school growing up and never spoke French, but youtube and google did help me a lot for my first visit in France. I prepared every essential French words that I thought would help a lot and it did. I was traveling with a relative and ended up I was talking to every French person we encounter from hotels to restaurants, shops etc.. and they were so nice to me. I noticed though that the hotel staff wasn’t really as enthusiastic talking to my nervous relative giving her a stink eye and not wanting to talk to her at all 😂 . You are very right to just go ahead and try and don’t be embarrassed if you botched the pronunciation.
Thanks Diane for another great video! And I appreciate the travel tips. I’m hoping things will open up soon and I’ll be able to travel back to France again. I wouldn’t say I committed any major faux pas in the past, at least I don’t think I did. I remember one time I was in a grocery market in a small town in the south of France and needed to order some specialty meat. I was so excited to use my limited amount of French, but when the man behind the counter heard my American accent, he was excited to use his English. Ha ha. So we spoke to each other in a little bit of French and a little bit of English. And I walked away with the order I wanted.
An important thing to understand about saying “bonjour” in a shop in France is that acting with a “I am a paying customer and you’re only an employee” spirit in any way won’t be accepted. Never forget that equality is the central word of French motto.
Another on point video, Diane! Everything you said is so true! I have never had a bad experience when following the common courtesies you recommend. Merci!
Thanks so much for all your tips. I’ve had the good luck to visit France a few times. Regardless where you travel, be respectful. DO NOT criticize the locals because they will most likely understand you. When in Rome ….
Bonjour Diane!!!! I think it’s common courtesy to say hello to anyone you meet in person, whether it be a question or if you are ordering something no matter what country. My other pet peeve is emails. So many people will jump in and start writing their emails without the slightest greeting of hello or a name first. I have seen this on every level of emails from corporate executives to ads on Craiglist’s. It’s not really that difficult to say hi or a name first and then start typing, ending with thanks and your name. Thanks for the video. Great info.
This is the same for anywhere you go. It's basic manners. I'm in Greece at the moment and learnt the basic good day/evening and thank you. Also pronouncing peoples names correctly helps a great deal. I got a room upgrade by saying the receptionist Greek name and not it's English alternative. Once written in English it was very phonetic and easy to say if you make an effort.
Personally I feel that it is pure common sense and standard politeness to say hello before speaking to anyone - in any language. It says far more about those who do not.......when I go and visit my friend in New Jersey she always tells me how polite I am (I'm from London) because I always say please and thank you, etc....whereas she will sometimes do exactly what those did in your examples...
I agree that politeness is the way to go, no matter what culture it is, and won't be laughed at or unwelcome in the USA by any means, but we can get away with "I'd like a vanilla latte please" and there's no issue without saying hello. Polite is always better I feel like and even surprise myself in the USA now when I say hello and thank you and have a good day and bye at Target. Overkill maybe haha.
Oui In France not overkill - normal. Haha. Maybe it’s just the USA that are like that a lot...I’ve heard people say ‘can I get a latte?’ It’s shocking to me but different cultures. Not all English speaking countries are the same that’s for sure.
wise to teach Americans to say bonjour; in my town I hear people say hello like this "hello! how are you today?" "I want a chicken burrito" no hello. no response to the question or reciprocal inquiry just a demand. My children literally receive free food occasionally just because they know how to say: "hi! I'm doing well. how are you?" Americans in France need all the help you can offer. kudos
I didn’t remember much of French, right away I purchased at a gas station a piece of paper cover in plastic that teach you basic French for the tourist. My biggest issues were parking and got few tickets. I am native of Uruguay 🇺🇾 Thank you great video
Hello, I confirm what you are saying about bonjour. I am from Moscow and for example when I buy a subway ticket I would say: “can I have a ticket?” So no hello, no smile and no thank you and goodbye. In France that would look so rude as they take the time to use those polite words and the smile is an important part. For us smile is mostly kept for family and friends or if a situation is actually funny.
If you're just visiting a country for a short time and probably won't be back often, survival tips like this are useful. But, if you really like a country, learn as much of the language as you can. This is one of the most culturally enriching things you can do. The more of the language you speak, the more enriching it becomes and when you arrive at a reasonable conversational level, you will discover the whole country opening up to you such that you wouldn't believe possible. At the age of 35, I decided to become fluent in French and it took me about 2 years of really dedicated study. I've been back 50 times! After that two years, I began to learn French in French instead of from English and have had a love affaire with the language, the people and the culture of France that I never could have imagined possible.
I learned best on crowded trains to say, "excusé moi, sil vous plait" when I wanted to move towards the door to get off, and then "merci" when they moved. So simple to do. And bonjour and Bonsoir everytime I entered anywhere or spoke with anyone. This just seems like standard respect and I always learn hello/goodbye/thank you/yes/no for every country I visit.
The French have the knack of making the simplest activity as complicated as possible. The parking metre at a lot in the south of France was so complicated to operate that even the lot attendant did not know how it worked.
Agree! I think everywhere we travel it is polite to learn a few basic words like good morning and thank you. Before my very first trip to Paris, heard about the French being rude, but I also learned a few very basic words to get me by - and I definitely had a very positive experience every single time.
In the southern US, it's definitely common and considered polite to greet someone first. It's either considered rude, or just such a rush that the person didn't take the time to be polite first that there must be an emergency. And, also, on the street, just to smile and say hello/how are you to anyone you might pass and look in the eye. I can definitely tell when it's a northerner passing because they always seem to be surprised or even wary of something saying hello to them just 'out of the blue'.
In my early 20s I went to Cognac with 2 mates. Very obviously English. It was off season. We went into a quiet restaurant and where stared at. We sat down and when the waiter came he spoke English to us. But we smiled and said, No, we're doing this in French. By the end of the meal the owner was sitting with us and got us a free cognac each!
My wife and I speak enough French to get by without English in tourist situations. But we don't speak German, for instance. Still, learning just "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me", "Where is ..." "How much is ..." and "I would like ..." , plus the numbers from 1-20 (preferably to 100), is within anyone's reach and covers a lot of what you need to get by. You point at the pastry you want and say "Zwei, bitte", or "Deux, sil-vous-plait". Meeting a local halfway is a great way to encourage them to break out whatever English they know too.
Bonjour, Diane! I really wish the custom of greeting everyone with a word like 'bonjour' was widespread in my country, (Australia). After traveling to both New Caledonia and France I found that I really enjoyed greeting everyone, and as you say, it's also about them being seen which is really important. Missed it when I came home, and got some weird looks when I started saying 'hi' to everyone I encountered. Somehow 'gidday' or 'hello' just don't feel the same either. Would be happy to adopt the bonjour/bonsoir, or else we need a new word!
In the US, it's not uncommon to reach up and accept a plate from a server in a restaurant as they are plating a table. Thinking I was being gracious, I went to "help" a Parisian server who was VERY kind, smiled, and in both French and English said, "you're going to put me out of a job." I IMMEDIATELY apologized in French (I speak enough to get by) and said that I knew better but had a momentary loss of memory while being in my "home away from home." He laughed and said "welcome back" in French... I think I got a little choked up if I'm being honest. MDR.
I really liked this video; I don't know if I said bonjour EVERY time but most, and my Husband was surprised that people weren't as rude to us as he thought they'd be. When we went to Italy, I spoke some Italian and you would have thought I was a long lost relative to some of the folks, they were so happy for the attempt. We were with a tour group and one of the women commented to my Husband that "she's on an entirely different trip than the rest of us"... simply for speaking maybe 5 words of Italian. It makes a huge difference to how you are perceived if you put in a little effort!
I appreciate the differences. I like that restaurants in France and Italy don't rush you and let you enjoy your meal. If you want fast service in France go to a McDonalds
Great advice for traveling to any country. Making a little effort to learn a little about the culture, especially the basic politeness will pay dividends in enjoyment of the experience of the culture
Bonjour! I am sure I committed Les faux pas while in France, but the French people I interacted with were much too polite to indicate it to me. They were patient, and even sometimes helpful, with my college level yet basic and rusty (and Probably hilarious) French language skills. I was very sad to have to come home. I enjoy your videos, merci!
"This service is slower than what I'm used to at home !" Well then go back home. Bon retour ! 😊 Yes Bonjour is mandatory and you totally nailed it, it's isn't only politeness, it's really a human being recognition. Even if this person is doing its job at serving you, he/she deserves that itsy tiny bit of politeness and kindness. We say it to everyone we have to deal with, even bus drivers, anybody crossing our way out home because they're neighbors and therefore also deserve that recognition, or even an employee whom we ask the location of a product. Even at the bus stop in the morning we say Bonjour to each others ! (Kids only say Bonjour to other kids and only nod to adults). The other day I couldn't find something in a huge grocery so I had to ask one of the employees who was busy filling a shelf. Five minutes later I needed another thing and this time I even apologized for being a pain like that at interrupting her and she was really touched and kindly answered my second query. No, she wasn't paid to answer my questions, she was paid to fill those shelves with heavy products and the task was clearly uneasy. Always be polite and remember you have a human being in front of you, not a robot.
Go back home because service is slower than what I"m used to? Might be a bit of a dramatic step lol. Slower service might give us time to reflect and stop rushing. Pros and cons, my friend. ;-) It's OK to notice that things are done differently around the world and talk about them. Helps others to know what to expect.
We stayed in an Airbnb in Nimes. There was a patisserie across the street. They opened at 7AM . I know this because I Was the American tourist who would show up every morning at 645. I found that even the minimum amount of French language went a long way.
Most bakeries in France open between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. ... and close from 8 p.m. (sometimes earlier) .... They are closed on Mondays with some exceptions .... This is due to the fact that the bread is fresh and that the baker starts at 3 am to prepare it (with the pastries).
When I can from Germany and was introduced to a few of my new colleagues it took me several introductions to realise I should respond to their "enchanté" with "enchanté". Not a real faux pas I guess, but I could have gotten that quicker 🙈
I think that these travel tips would be practical in any country where you are a visitor! I have always made a point to learn a few words in the language of the country I am visiting and the local people are grateful when you speak some of their language.
You are spot on with your tips. Not only do I find them accurate and insightful, you delivered your message really effectively. I just discovered your channel and now will go watch some of your other videos. Thank you for the tips!
i wish i saw this video back in 2009; i definitely got a lecture in "bonjour" from the metro ticket guy at the passy station 😅 i didnt know what he was saying, but i had a general understanding.
I tried to take a cake out of the round glass display case ( as one does at Safeway)and they went nuts! This was a small town in Provence...another thing is not to touch/pick up the fruits or vegetables on display on the sidewalk. I do love the tradition of saying hello ( bonjour) everywhere. It's a recognition of others and shows respect.
Bonjour, I suggest that if people would like to try out their high school french on people who know better, try going to Montreal in Quebec Canada. They have a diversity of people there. There are many immigrants from Africa who may be less fluent in English than the native Canadian people. Most people who stay there for a few years become more used to American travelers. But they still might chastise you for not saying bonjour and Merci beaucoup. Tchuss !
Back in 2015 my job sent me to France for an assignment, I am Mexican American so for me traveling to Europe was never something in my mind or had any knowledge of any french words. I happen to learn two words Bonjour and Merci. I used those words as much as possible and let me tell you the French people treated me with so much love and respect that I fell in love with France, Two years later I took my family to Paris but we stayed right outside Paris in Montrouge, There was locals in that city so they didn’t really talked English but they went out of their way to help us out. No matter what the situation they went out off their way to try to translate, They say French people are rude nope that’s a lie, where I come from to get RESPECT you must give Respect and I think that applies to any place in the world.
Really good tips! Sometimes things can just be difficult no matter where you are so just go with it. Re judgments, so many good things in France- like tarte aux framboises! Good point about language. Do your best at whatever level you’re at. Merci!! 🇺🇸🇫🇷
Well done video. On my first trip to France, I practiced basic phrases before hand. The first evening there, I went to dinner, got seated in a booth with French speakers inches away on both sides. The waiter arrived and I completely forgot how to say tap water, then froze and could only sputter "water, please". I felt all eyes upon me. It was embarrassing, but I got better as the trip progressed.
Be careful what you say because you never know when the french citizen standing behind you speaks English and you could be VERY embarrassed. I speak a little French and can make myself understood in a simple way, my big problem is understanding them if they respond in French. It's fun. They will often change to English and I'm grateful but I still get mad at myself for not being better. I take some classes and I also have some funny stories because pronunciation or lack their of can make for some interesting encounters. I find most French people will be very helpful if you just follow the few simple rules given here. I have had conversations (in English thanks for French education system) with some very lovely French people.
Yup, very true about watching what you say and also about the French being helpful! Also, my husband and I have had the opposite experience where we've been in a tour group in English and a French couple at a cafe table next to us were annoyed with how our group was spilling into the cafe seating area. They figured no one spoke French and made a rude comment about the tourists and Tom didn't skip a beat and put them (politely) in their place. Lesson learned for them!
Bonjour, I really like the pace you put on these videos, it keeps me tuned in and constantly learning something new, I like the phrase "À bientôt" but maybe it should be reserved for someone I'm more familiar with? Is it too much since I may not actually see this person soon? What's the skinny? (And how do you say "what's the skinny" in France? Besides "ça va?"). Au r'voir. (see, I'm practicing;)
Yup. Totally blew it my first time there. Then, when I found out I needed to say bonjour, I also added Madame or Monsieur, and used pardon a lot. It created a totally different experience.
Merci! I've finally found your videos and am binge-watching them. I must state that I was unaware of the Bonjour requirement, though I've been in France for longer than 5 weeks in two trips (I now realize how rude I was). If you would, please answer a question, which has been bothering me for years. While staying in a Parisian hotel over the course of a week, I would always use the word Merci with most interactions. At one point, the concierge complemented me on my pronunciation of the word. I was so taken aback that I didn't know whether to say Thank You or Merci and, didn't say anything in return, just gave him a shocked look. In your opinion, what would have been the proper response? Merci for taking time to put these videos together.
Hi there, glad you're enjoying my content! Re: the concierge, I think a smile and a merci, c'est gentil would have been fine. Or just a merci or acknowledgement. What you did was OK, no worries
Merci, I love your vids about life in France. I live in a high tourist city (San Francisco) and I wish someone would make a vid like this for tourists visiting here, they can be exasperating!
Maybe it's strange for an English speaker to get used to our code of politeneness but it's the same for us French in the other way. I've made several trips to the US. Each time I need to talk to someone, a waiter, a salesperson, a ticket seller I NEED to say "bonjour" If I say hello it sounds weird, It's not the same. I mean it's really hard for a French NOT to say bonjour even in a country where it's not the norm.
@@OuiInFrance Yes, I understand, but I don't need specifically to say "bonjour" if there is another equivalent in the foreign language when I'm abroad. For example, in Greek it's kalimera, so I say kalimera to everybody exactly like I would do in French with bonjour. In English, correct me if I'm wrong, it seems to me the English Hello! doesn't match our casual Bonjour. It's this very casual bonjour that I miss. I feel impolite to address a salesperson without saying some sort of equivalent of bonjour but it seems awkard to say hello.
@@norbertfontaine8524 Try saying "Excuse me" followed by your question or "Can you help me?" and then follow with what you need. There are many new electronic translators on the market now that may help you enjoy your trip more. I know I only got a few months of French when I was in high school and I do not speak French very well at all. I doubt you will find many people in the United States that speak French either so the electronic translators will help you so much when coming here. In the U.S. you can travel across the country by car and it will take you a week to get from the east coast to the west coast. Everyone speaks English though? So you only have to know one language. Try that in Europe. It is much less complicated to communicate here. Good luck on your next trip. From Google "Translate" Essayez de dire "Excusez-moi" suivi de votre question ou "Pouvez-vous m'aider?" puis suivez ce dont vous avez besoin. Il existe de nombreux nouveaux traducteurs électroniques sur le marché qui peuvent vous aider à profiter davantage de votre voyage. Je sais que je n'ai appris que quelques mois de français quand j'étais au lycée et je ne parle pas très bien le français du tout. Je doute que vous trouviez beaucoup de gens aux États-Unis qui parlent français non plus, alors les traducteurs électroniques vous aideront beaucoup lorsque vous viendrez ici. Aux États-Unis, vous pouvez voyager à travers le pays en voiture et il vous faudra une semaine pour vous rendre de la côte est à la côte ouest. Mais tout le monde parle anglais? Vous n'avez donc à connaître qu'une seule langue. Essayez ça en Europe. C'est beaucoup moins compliqué de communiquer ici. Bonne chance pour votre prochain voyage.
9:45 - I always wait for natives to start complaining about strikes (usually RATP) first. 🙂 I was consulting (IT) for SNCF in 2004. My office was in Gare Saint-Lazare building. One day two or three people in T-shirts with some logos and colorful badges knocked and entered, speaking rapidly and offering me some leaflets. I explained (in English) that I am not an employee and that I didn't speak any French. They were undeterred and left the flyers, anyway - they were for an upcoming, quite comprehensive strike.
Bonjour Diane, I assume with the ‘Bonjour’ goes eye contact? It shows people are paying attention to you. Now I’m older I don’t mind waiting for that nicety. Off to France today for the 5th time. So excited. 🇦🇺
Ouch! Got a very embarrassing lesson on the "bonjour" custom some years ago from a parisien bus driver. Simply asked if this was the correct bus for --, and received no reply. Especially embarrassing as I lived for six years in Quebec, and have some grasp of the French language. I tried the question in English and French, and was greeted with a stoney silence. Eventually she said in perfect English " in France we commence a conversation with "bonjour", and yes, this is the bus for---."
Bonjour Dianne. C’est Josef. I’m good with the basis etiquette you covered even down to boarding a bus or taxi. One mistake I remember was a time I didn’t board a taxi at the cab cue snd had to start over. Another on an earlier trip was trying to get to Pont Neuf by taxi. The driver was trying to tell me it was only a block away but I couldn’t understand him. Ou la la.
Love it! You know France so well! Guess what? I see it from a French pespective... I'm always shocked to see somebody - in another coutry than France - asking for or ordering something in a shop with no "hi/hello" before anything! I find it so rude!
Bonjour Diane. Thank you for the great video. I am just learning French and can construct a few sentences, etc....so about A2 level and can understand a good amount of what I read. My question is, I want to speak French in France when I can, to show my effort, but when I enter a store or restaurant, after the "bonjour" I become hesitant to ask for what I need. Even though I may know how to ask in French, oftentimes I find myself unable to understand the answer coming to me....usually in "fast French". At that point I have to say "Désole, Je ne parle pas français" which sounds ridiculous because I asked the question in French to begin with! How does one move forward with this? I really want to live here someday, so I am trying....but I find myself not confident in initiating even a simple exchange at times for fear of not understanding what I am hearing. Any tips, thoughts would be tremendously appreciated!
Hi Cynthia, the beginning stages are really hard and if you don't have interaction with that "real" French often enough, it can be even more difficult. But I know what you mean about not understanding the reply. I had so much trouble with that when I first moved and it took a while to get comfortable approaching people for fear of not understanding the reply! First, instead of telling someone you don't speak French as a reply, I would amend that slightly and say something like "I didn't understand. I'm learning French" -- with a smile. "Je n'ai pas compris, j'apprends le francais...." and even ask them to repeat it. Getting comfortable and understanding more and more just takes practice and time, so I would recommend you do everything in your power to train your ear -- podcasts, shows, youtube whatever. Then as you get better, you'll become more confident. But it's true that it takes time and we just have to keep muddling through. Hang in there! This blog post might also help: www.ouiinfrance.com/my-simple-tips-to-help-you-feel-less-nervous-about-speaking-french/
Hello Cynthia, my answer comes quite late but I felt the need to underlight a few tips that might help you feel more confident in such situation. First, as long as we understand you're a foreigner (most of the time we hear it the way people say "bonjour") you shouldn't be much worried about you're French level and asking for people to repeat or slow the pace of their answers; put aside the situation where someone is in a hurry (crowded café/restaurant or someone who was just passing by on the street), we will most likely gladly adapt ourselves. Also try to avoid coming up with a sentence you've spent 5 minutes to think about, it'll be better than your actual level, which might leads the french person to speak as usual (even better, try to appear worse than you are, more hesitant, or make simpler questions and then step up as you feel more comfortable) Second, french themselves are famously bad at foreign languages (which is true) and they know it's hard; immense majority of us are shameful of our bad english and would often apologise for it before we even speak, and never even try to make a good accent as we're not confident achieving a decent one. A french thing to do would be to engage the conversation by apologising with and embarassed smile, going like "Bonjour Monsieur/madame, désolé je ne parle pas bien français ...". This will give you all of the sympathy possible from your listener. It feels like i kinda repeated myself twice but just remember it's human interactions, nothing you don't know about, as long as you're polite, smiling, communicative and you feel the person you're talking to isn't in a hurry go on, the more you're open to failure the more you'll learn. (Also 2 things : 1) Frenchs might tend to correct the pronunciation or little mistakes you may say, don't feel offended, most chances are it's to help you, we even do it with each other / 2) Frenchs are "cold/rude" by nature, being distant is seen as respectful in the public area, just as being quiet or extremely polite and formal. Don't see it as a barrier, the appearances take 2-3 sentences to wash away into something more personnal and welcoming (more true in big cities, in countryside there is less this 'protection shield"))
For the longest time I have mispronounced Croque Monsieur. I now know it is croak as in dead or frog sound but always got served with a smile. My wife still after three trips can never say bon jour even close to correct but she goes to BHV by herself and comes back smiling.
So I speak French. Badly. We had a spectacular time in Paris none-the-less using your rule about bonjour that my high school French teacher taught me all those years ago. We rented a flat for a couple weeks and went to the same places daily for breakfast, coffee, and groceries. We actually chatted with the folks helping us out as best we could on occasion and I was told that my American accent was “pretty.” Another guy thought I was Spanish. Go figure. One waiter did break the French “no touching” rule when he playfully tapped my shoulder as I was describing Norte Dame as an église-I learned it is a Cathédrale of course. Another waiter brought our coffee drinks and “baker’s best” pastry to us without even ordering every day for the next 2 weeks without fail. I have only the nicest memories of Paris and I know the key was that magic word.
Bonjour à tous. C'est surprenant d'entendre l'explication logique de comportements qui pour nous ne se questionnent pas, tellement ils sont naturels. J'ai toujours dit et appliqué à mes enfants que le B A BA de l'éducation est : Bonjour, s'il vous plaît, merci et au revoir. Cela allait de soi. Maintenant je sais pourquoi. Merci à vous. Cordialement.
In an elevator, it is a requirement to say "Bonjour" only if it is a person you know ... and the first time of the day. In this specific case, it will be good to look at other people you don't know and say bonjour, in order not to look a bit selfish. And keep in mind that, if it is required to say "bonjour" ... people will feel more or less offended if you say it to them twice the same day !!! For me, even if French myself, at work, this was a pure nightmare because i can be very absent-minded when i am mentally focused on something. And, of course, due to the specificity of my job and my own personality, it was almost always the case at the working place. Then, it was some sort of a tiring chore to always keep in mind all the people i had already said "bonjour" to.
Bonjour, tell me below in the comments about any French faux pas you've made as a tourist in France. Hope you enjoyed the video!
Your first and second tips. . 100% true.
I am Australian and have had the pleasure of travelling to France several times (usually on guided tours, but not always).
On one occasion, my wife and I were on a bus tour in southern France (I don't remember exactly where we were that day) but one of the other tourists with us on the bus (who also happened to be Australian) needed to buy some cortizone cream for a rash that had developed on her face. She and her husband went into a local Pharmacy and tried to make themselves understood, but without success.
They came out of the Pharmacy and said to me that they couldn't get what they needed because they couldn't communicate. I said "I'll give it a try" They said "Good luck. I don't think they like English speaking people"
Now. . the important bit. . Before I ever went to France for the first time, I memorized this phrase. . . "Bonjour (Madame/Monsieur etc). Je ne parle pas Français. Je suis Australien. Parlez vous Anglais?"
I went into the Phamacy, used my 'magic' phrase and the Pharmacist replied "Oui Monsieur. A little". . Then I mentioned "cortizone". . "creme". . . "Visage" (the only words I could think of) to try to communicate our need, and the Pharmacist was happy to help and showed us several products, which we could Google to see if the were suitable for the lady's skin condition.
Afterwards those other Australians asked "How did you get him to help?"
I explained my "magic phrase" and they both learned it immediately and had a MUCH better experience in France for the rest of their vacation.
Simple courtesy is all it takes.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve visited France, but your tips are spot on. I greeted everyone with “bonjour” and spoke to them in French as best as I was able (I studied up a little before coming). When I reached the point that it became apparent I could not communicate my thoughts adequately, every Parisians I met started talking to me in English without my asking. I did witness one incident of the “ugly Americans”. I was people watching and drinking wine at a cafe across from the Tuileries Gardens. The server and I were talking about American football (he was a fan) when an American couple sat down at the table next to me. The husband began snapping his fingers demanding service. (It was like scene in a bad movie from the 1930s.) Then he started complaining to the server because the menu was in French. Then he asked the server about speaking in English. The server replied, “Je ne parle pas anglais”then turned to me and said in perfect English, “Are you certain you don’t want a sandwich with your wine.” I almost knocked my carafe over I was laughing so hard.
Wow!!!! I would have killed to have seen that. Well done waiter😂😂😂 I hate people like that doesn’t make us Americans look like a holes
Fab story
Yep, French people in service will HATE anyone, foreigner or not, talking to them like they're supposed to be a servant. Respect goes both ways and goes a long way. We're all equal as people, and no waiter will rely on a rude person's tip. Not acknowledging this is missing out on a major cultural thing of the country you visit as a foreigner.
You made me laugh too btw
So Parisien! (I am from Paris, so my remark is not a criticism, but I recognise our way of being ironic.) Unless things have changed since I lived there, in France the customer isn't always right and the waiter is perfectly comfortable showing his disapproval with tongue in cheek. I think that is a major difference between French / most European people and the Americans of USA.
Bonjour, we are leaving for France in a few days and this was a good reminder. In previous trips to France I always said "Bonjour" with a smile and found the French people I met to be lovely. When in a cafe, I would tell the waiter I would try to speak in French and to feel free to correct my pronunciation because I wanted to improve. It was ok to laugh at my efforts and we had a lovely time. My best advice to visitors in another country is go without any assumptions or expectations other than that you will see and learn new things that will enrich your experience. Merci for your hints and tips!
Many Americans I know who have visited France have said that the people there were not friendly. I found it to be the exact opposite because I did always say Bonjour/Bonsoir, I would try to say at least a few words in French, and I would never just start speaking English to a stranger without first asking, “Parlez-vous anglais?” Doing that seemed to make all the difference.
Bonjour!! We visited Paris for the first time in Nov 2015 and sadly were told some negative things about the French that they’re rude and not helpful to Americans but that wasn’t going to burst my bubble at all!! I love the culture, food and language of the French and practiced the greetings, merci and si’l vous plait over and over plus a few other things. BUT I always started off talking in broken French asking if they spoke English and every single person we came across was so kind and even went beyond!!! It blew my mind. It was so overwhelming because we’re not fluent at all but what little I would say would make the locals want to help us! Or maybe cos I was constantly smiling lol If you’re rude don’t expect kindness! When someone visits your home you expect your guests to respect you and your home it’s no difference visiting another country 😊
This is so true. I simply said "Bon jour" to the man working in the French post office, and he helped immensely with purchasing stamps and getting my post cards mailed off. All while speaking fluent English. :)
Bonjour tout le monde. I certainly knew about saying "bonjour" when greeting shopkeepers etc., but I had an experience in Paris that taught me a lifelong lesson. I was not confident about engaging someone in a conversation as my French was very limited at that time. We were to take the Air France shuttle bus from Étoile to Charles de Gaulle airport. When we got to Étoile there were two buses, one going to CDG and the other to ORY. I approached the man loading luggage under one of the buses and simply asked, "Charles de Gaulle?". His response, "Bonjour. Oui monsieur." I felt like 2 cents. Here was a labourer who had better manners than me. That simple exchange taught me a lifelong lesson. That was 15 years ago and to this day, I go out of my way to be as polite as I can. When I walk in front of someone in the grocery store who is staring at the shelf, I always say excuse me as I pass. I think I also do that because very few people say it and I am hoping to spread the practice. But that is also something I observed in Paris. Anyone who cut in front of me, even on a crowded street would always say "Pardon". Time and time again the people throughout France showed that politeness was a national trait. I frankly left France wondering how the French people got the reputation for being rude and aloof. And also grateful for them showing me how to be a better person.
Bonjour! The point you made about trying to speak *some* French, even if it's the most basic of basic goes a LONG way! In Canada, we have to take French up until Grade 9. (I took to Gr. 10). So no, I'm hardly fluent, but I know enough to get by. And wow! When I first arrived in Paris for a holiday with my mom, we got lost on the way to the hotel. I went inside a restaurant and said to the woman at the desk that we were lost and could she direct us to our hotel. This woman practically took us by the hand to show us where. So, I won't believe it that French people are rude. They're not. If you make the effort, they will be nice to you.
You are totally right. As a french person I can attest that not saying bonjour is very rude and almost seen as telling "I don't see you as a person" to someone.
Tourist see us as rude but they son't know that most of the time it's because we see them as rude first and don't want to be nice with people with no consideration.
I had a native French lady tell me she liked when I would say when something was different and not call it bad, weird or strange. Thanks again for another great video!
Completely agree. "Bonjour" is utterly essential. I can't tell you how many warm smiles I got in Paris just by doing this.
In France, we're used to teach children the "magic words" to have a conversation. Bonjour, S'il vous plait, Merci, Aurevoir,... Yes they are mandatory to social interactions.
I think they're not magic only in the U.S.
I always learn these basic polite words in every country I go to. It works everywhere because everyone is proud and happy when you try to talk their langage to come to them.
You can say almost anything using those words, especially if you add “sorry.”
Ahhhh, I made the major faux pas of not saying “Bonjour” to a waiter in Paris! Everyone else at my table got great service...except me. BIG lesson learned! I had never heard about the importance of this greeting...and will never forget it! It didn’t make me mad, it embarassed me that I was so clueless about a basic feature of French politeness.
But does that mean you should get bad treatment for not saying a simple bonjour? That's absurd to me. Who the fk gets annoyed if you don't say bonjour
Hello @@woodywolf0309for french People, it is so basic, you can expect it from a 3 year kid and correct the kid if he don't say
Bonjour/Au revoir
s'il vous plaît/ Merci
Not saying Bonjour/Au revoir is a way to show your irrespect for a person and that's so basic it's always voluntary when we do that ....
If you don't say hello to a coworker for example, then you are saying to that person, don't expect anything from me and i will not expect anything from you .....
That's not an only friend thing , it's basic respect you show for everyone. That Include all people you are interacting with: family , teachers ,boss , friend , shop cashier ...
So for the waiter, Hope you understand now
If you don't apply that, you will live a nightmare in France where no one will want to help you for anything
Bonjour Twice a day is better than None
And so when you don't say hello you're asking for animosity
French People don't even think you can skip basic politeness like that anywhere in the world , it's really unthinkable. the first word you will learn in any language in French school is Hello
If you think you have been unheard say it a second time !
If you hear someone saying Bonjour to you multiple time just say you're sorry and say hello, you can say "désolé, bonjour "
Hello Diane, great tips.You're so right that many tourists don't understand the importance of the simple word "bonjour" in France. I've also heard tourists complain about service but the kicker is when some tourists go to a market and see something they are not used to and say " yuck that looks disgusting", or scrunching up their face..
Bonjour Diane I'm from Puerto Rico and taught you must greet a person before you start a conversation. I expect that "Hi" or Hello, I think if people don't greet me they're very rude. I've lived in NJ for 51 years now. I taught my kids to greet people when you enter a home or place of worship. I'm with the French. Auvoir
Pro tip : if you have difficulties to pronounce the "au revoir", you can say (from morning to 4 pm, let's say) "bonne journée" (have a nice day, pronounced approximately "bun journay") or "bonne soirée" (have a nice evening, promounced "bun swarray"). It's a perfect alternative while leaving a person.
Aside from Merci if anyone was quite helpful with you do not hesitate to say "Merci beaucoup" It will be quite appreciated. Also I do agree that Bonjour is mandatory everywhere. Even in Paris, saying a Bonjour and adding a smile is the magic combo to get much more attention even on tourist venues. People will be much more friendly with you and you will enjoy your day 👍 In France there is even a "game" people plays with rude people on their neighborhood, they say Bonjour first to force the rude person to answer with another Bonjour, quite funny as even the rudest person always end up by answering back a Bonjour soon or later 😉
Haha, I did that a lot, saying « Bonjour! » to rude people to force them to greet back me
Thank you, Diane. I learn how to say please, thank you and basic phrases before going to any country. You are 100% correct. Part of my travel mindset is that as an American, I am NOT in the US, therefore it is a basic sign of respect to make an effort to use the same language as the locals. From 1990, this has been successful for me in Japan, Russia, Mexico, Thailand, China and France. On occasions, as I am modestly greeting a local, not 30 feet from us, a loud American complained how things aren't done this way in 'The States. Wearing a baseball cap doesnt help, either. Good on you, Diane.
My late partner and I went to France in 2001. He, grudgingly, as he recounted his experiences of policemen refusing to give him directions in the late 60's. He was amazed at how my limited French attempts paved the way for easy and beneficial interactions. I have been back a couple of times and always find people are super friendly and helpful, if you show that you are earnest and trying. No, they will not give you a hug and say "bless your heart." But they will respond to your courtesy with courtesy and maybe even direct you to the best bakery in the neighborhood!! (And they are always right!)
Yup, simple courtesy goes a long way and mixed with a little cultural know-how, you can't go wrong. As you said, you might get some great recommendations! I'm sorry about your partner's passing.
Bless his soul 🙏
Policemen in the 1960s most probably spoke no English, so it's more like "weren't able to" than "refusing", no? @lawrencebaker2318
In my hometown we even say bonjour to everyone we bypass in the streets. Unless you're in a very crowded environment, you are expected to greet everyone at all times.
Not saying Bonjour is like saying “Hey You” to us. Instant hackles up. I personally found the French treated me better than people at home in Melbourne would.
To this, I would add some sort of comment about restaurants, cafes, etc. in France and the differences in service. Many Americans don't understand that in France, the bill does not come until you ask for it, unlike in America where the server brings the bill while you are still eating! In France, you are expected to enjoy your meal and ask for the bill when you are ready to go.
Salut,
J'habite à Lyon, les touristes anglophones oublient souvent que nous pouvons comprendre leurs conversations, pas forcément très flatteuse à nôtre égard (les français ).
Deuxième point, pour demander Son chemin un "parlez-vous anglais" aide un peu avant d'interroger un passant.
Always remember that any French worker knows their job better than you know their job. I bought a bag and the shop assistant wouldn't let me leave the shop until the strap was adjusted to the right length. Anything else would have reflected badly on her.
Browsing in shops, unless you are in a major tourist area, is not common. If you look like you need help, you will be asked what you want and you need to have an answer ready...
So glad I did my homework before my trip. Didn't dress like a tourist and a smile and feeble attempt at French was SO appreciated by the people I spoke and dealt with. It was a wonderful experience and I felt welcomed with everyone and everywhere
Lol no matter how much we try to not dress up like tourists, they will always be able to spot us. It is that tourist vibe we give:)
Bonjour! I once stumbled w/limited French to a hotel manager who lost his patience as he was very busy. "Just tell me what you want in English!" he tersely said. I apologized & got what I needed. I apologized to him again later & he was very nice to me. France is different, but the people are very much the same as anywhere else - respect them & their home and they will take care of you. I enjoy your videos!
One of the things I noticed when I was in France was that it often seemed as if Americans seemed to believe that everyone but them is the "foreigner". I think that a lot of the lack of "politesse" starts with not having a clear. understanding that you, who come from a different country, are the foreigner. It is not only disrespectful, but it smells of contempt. How would you expect someone who feels they are the target of your contempt to respond to you?
Common courtesy should be universal. Visitors from anywhere who goes anywhere should be courteous and polite. I work in an industry where politeness has gone out the window. We are travelling to Paris in August 2022 and I am looking forward to using my rudimentary French and to enjoy the country.
My son and I visited Paris last year. We practiced a few words and researched by reading and watching videos like this. We stayed at an Airbnb and not many people in the shops or restaurants around us spoke English. But we tried with our phrases we knew and were always treated well and had a great time. I did witness a few American tourists her not so pleasant responses in a restaurant after not being respectful.
When I was doing my seller study, my teacher give us a tips to make a good relationship with a customer. She said we have to use le "SBAM". SBAM is : Sourire (Smile) Bonjour (Hello) Au revoir (Good Bye) Merci (Thanks). If you apply the SBAM 95% of your relation with someone are gonna be Ok (there is always 5% of idiots who doesn' want to comunicate with you). Even if you don't speak french, le "SBAM" will help you and you'll see that french can be very nice and helpfull.
I'm french, I don't speak very well english, so excuse my mistakes
I can definitely say that my 3 months of studying the French culture and language before we left paid off in a major way. I could order, ask for directions, buy things and hold basic conversations. Everyone was so nice! They even went out of their way to help and sometimes laughed at my pronunciations - in a playful way. RUclips and Audible has great resources. Duolingo is great as well. It was great being about to say Bonjour, deux cafe cremes sil vous plait. Merci et bonne journee! I could even call restaurants for reservations and got in to a few places that were booked online. It totally enhanced our trip. Such great advice! Thank you!
Bonjour! 😊 I'm French, lived in the US for 2 years and, strangely enough, never noticed that (some) people did not say hello before engaging in a conversation. On the contrary I found that hi is very common. Now for bonjour, it's definitely a must in France (and Belgium). Equality is very important here and saying bonjour is a way of showing respect to any person, regardless of its position in relation with you.
Bonsoir !
i concur, "bonjour", s"il vous plait", "merci" and "au revoir", these four expressions will open every door in France. Don't focus on your accent because ... you will be facing a french guy or woman who is terribly focused - and most of the time ashamed - of her or his english accent.
yes, we may forget to be polite among ourselves but we never fail to notice rude people, whether they are french (how dare they?) or foreigners (les pauvres!). And we are french enough to act accordingly, even if you won't even notice.
By the way, judgment talks are rude: most french do not speak a fluent english but you will always be heard by someone who understand what you say and, depending on the rudeness of your words, will translate them quietly. or not.
One last thing: never forget that, in any case, you are most welcome in France. We love visitors and we just wait for the "bonjour" keyword to show you how proud we are to host you.
So, mille merci Diane for your advices, they are the best ones. And merci for living here among us.
Et au revoir, of course! :-)
Bonjour! I never had any bad experience in France. Service staff were nice. I never had any French subjects at school growing up and never spoke French, but youtube and google did help me a lot for my first visit in France. I prepared every essential French words that I thought would help a lot and it did. I was traveling with a relative and ended up I was talking to every French person we encounter from hotels to restaurants, shops etc.. and they were so nice to me. I noticed though that the hotel staff wasn’t really as enthusiastic talking to my nervous relative giving her a stink eye and not wanting to talk to her at all 😂 . You are very right to just go ahead and try and don’t be embarrassed if you botched the pronunciation.
I just loved my experiences in Paris, to which I went three times! It was a wonderful place and the French people were not in the least bit "rude."
Thanks Diane for another great video! And I appreciate the travel tips. I’m hoping things will open up soon and I’ll be able to travel back to France again. I wouldn’t say I committed any major faux pas in the past, at least I don’t think I did. I remember one time I was in a grocery market in a small town in the south of France and needed to order some specialty meat. I was so excited to use my limited amount of French, but when the man behind the counter heard my American accent, he was excited to use his English. Ha ha. So we spoke to each other in a little bit of French and a little bit of English. And I walked away with the order I wanted.
An important thing to understand about saying “bonjour” in a shop in France is that acting with a “I am a paying customer and you’re only an employee” spirit in any way won’t be accepted. Never forget that equality is the central word of French motto.
The customer is a king. But In France, kings have their heads cut off.
Another on point video, Diane! Everything you said is so true! I have never had a bad experience when following the common courtesies you recommend. Merci!
Thanks so much for all your tips. I’ve had the good luck to visit France a few times. Regardless where you travel, be respectful. DO NOT criticize the locals because they will most likely understand you.
When in Rome ….
Bonjour Diane!!!! I think it’s common courtesy to say hello to anyone you meet in person, whether it be a question or if you are ordering something no matter what country. My other pet peeve is emails. So many people will jump in and start writing their emails without the slightest greeting of hello or a name first. I have seen this on every level of emails from corporate executives to ads on Craiglist’s. It’s not really that difficult to say hi or a name first and then start typing, ending with thanks and your name. Thanks for the video. Great info.
This is the same for anywhere you go. It's basic manners. I'm in Greece at the moment and learnt the basic good day/evening and thank you. Also pronouncing peoples names correctly helps a great deal. I got a room upgrade by saying the receptionist Greek name and not it's English alternative. Once written in English it was very phonetic and easy to say if you make an effort.
This is the reason why l love French culture. ❤️❤️❤️
Personally I feel that it is pure common sense and standard politeness to say hello before speaking to anyone - in any language. It says far more about those who do not.......when I go and visit my friend in New Jersey she always tells me how polite I am (I'm from London) because I always say please and thank you, etc....whereas she will sometimes do exactly what those did in your examples...
"it is pure common sense and standard politeness to say hello before speaking to anyone" Maybe but in some countries there is no need to say.
WiR what countries please? So I know! 😂
I agree that politeness is the way to go, no matter what culture it is, and won't be laughed at or unwelcome in the USA by any means, but we can get away with "I'd like a vanilla latte please" and there's no issue without saying hello. Polite is always better I feel like and even surprise myself in the USA now when I say hello and thank you and have a good day and bye at Target. Overkill maybe haha.
Oui In France not overkill - normal. Haha. Maybe it’s just the USA that are like that a lot...I’ve heard people say ‘can I get a latte?’ It’s shocking to me but different cultures. Not all English speaking countries are the same that’s for sure.
wise to teach Americans to say bonjour; in my town I hear people say hello like this
"hello! how are you today?"
"I want a chicken burrito"
no hello. no response to the question or reciprocal inquiry just a demand. My children literally receive free food occasionally just because they know how to say:
"hi! I'm doing well. how are you?"
Americans in France need all the help you can offer. kudos
I didn’t remember much of French, right away I purchased at a gas station a piece of paper cover in plastic that teach you basic French for the tourist. My biggest issues were parking and got few tickets. I am native of Uruguay 🇺🇾
Thank you great video
Hello, I confirm what you are saying about bonjour. I am from Moscow and for example when I buy a subway ticket I would say: “can I have a ticket?” So no hello, no smile and no thank you and goodbye. In France that would look so rude as they take the time to use those polite words and the smile is an important part. For us smile is mostly kept for family and friends or if a situation is actually funny.
Even if you are french sometimes you forget to say bonjour and then you realise and say it after ^^ because you kind of feel bad about it :)
If you're just visiting a country for a short time and probably won't be back often, survival tips like this are useful. But, if you really like a country, learn as much of the language as you can. This is one of the most culturally enriching things you can do. The more of the language you speak, the more enriching it becomes and when you arrive at a reasonable conversational level, you will discover the whole country opening up to you such that you wouldn't believe possible. At the age of 35, I decided to become fluent in French and it took me about 2 years of really dedicated study. I've been back 50 times! After that two years, I began to learn French in French instead of from English and have had a love affaire with the language, the people and the culture of France that I never could have imagined possible.
I learned best on crowded trains to say, "excusé moi, sil vous plait" when I wanted to move towards the door to get off, and then "merci" when they moved. So simple to do. And bonjour and Bonsoir everytime I entered anywhere or spoke with anyone. This just seems like standard respect and I always learn hello/goodbye/thank you/yes/no for every country I visit.
The French have the knack of making the simplest activity as complicated as possible. The parking metre at a lot in the south of France was so complicated to operate that even the lot attendant did not know how it worked.
oups, un don du passé gaullois ? xD
Stay in your country. We don’t like whining foreigners.
We French people don't know how it works either if it makes you feel any better :D
Agree! I think everywhere we travel it is polite to learn a few basic words like good morning and thank you. Before my very first trip to Paris, heard about the French being rude, but I also learned a few very basic words to get me by - and I definitely had a very positive experience every single time.
I agree. This was my experience too!
Same here!!!
In the southern US, it's definitely common and considered polite to greet someone first. It's either considered rude, or just such a rush that the person didn't take the time to be polite first that there must be an emergency. And, also, on the street, just to smile and say hello/how are you to anyone you might pass and look in the eye. I can definitely tell when it's a northerner passing because they always seem to be surprised or even wary of something saying hello to them just 'out of the blue'.
In my early 20s I went to Cognac with 2 mates. Very obviously English. It was off season. We went into a quiet restaurant and where stared at. We sat down and when the waiter came he spoke English to us. But we smiled and said, No, we're doing this in French. By the end of the meal the owner was sitting with us and got us a free cognac each!
Good on you to struggle through in French. Glad it paid off. Hope the cognac was wonderful!
@@OuiInFrance It was, but not as good as the complete change of atmosphere it caused! They were so kind as soon as we didn't take them for granted
Always purchase tickets to all attractions and museums in advance- you will lock in the exchange rate and avoid the long lines
C'est simple comme bonjour!
My wife and I speak enough French to get by without English in tourist situations. But we don't speak German, for instance. Still, learning just "Please", "Thank you", "Excuse me", "Where is ..." "How much is ..." and "I would like ..." , plus the numbers from 1-20 (preferably to 100), is within anyone's reach and covers a lot of what you need to get by. You point at the pastry you want and say "Zwei, bitte", or "Deux, sil-vous-plait". Meeting a local halfway is a great way to encourage them to break out whatever English they know too.
Bonjour, Diane! I really wish the custom of greeting everyone with a word like 'bonjour' was widespread in my country, (Australia). After traveling to both New Caledonia and France I found that I really enjoyed greeting everyone, and as you say, it's also about them being seen which is really important. Missed it when I came home, and got some weird looks when I started saying 'hi' to everyone I encountered. Somehow 'gidday' or 'hello' just don't feel the same either. Would be happy to adopt the bonjour/bonsoir, or else we need a new word!
I think it's always nice if you know a few words from the country you're visiting no mater the country
Absolutely. just five words to remember. Not a big deal.
In the US, it's not uncommon to reach up and accept a plate from a server in a restaurant as they are plating a table. Thinking I was being gracious, I went to "help" a Parisian server who was VERY kind, smiled, and in both French and English said, "you're going to put me out of a job." I IMMEDIATELY apologized in French (I speak enough to get by) and said that I knew better but had a momentary loss of memory while being in my "home away from home." He laughed and said "welcome back" in French... I think I got a little choked up if I'm being honest. MDR.
I really liked this video; I don't know if I said bonjour EVERY time but most, and my Husband was surprised that people weren't as rude to us as he thought they'd be. When we went to Italy, I spoke some Italian and you would have thought I was a long lost relative to some of the folks, they were so happy for the attempt. We were with a tour group and one of the women commented to my Husband that "she's on an entirely different trip than the rest of us"... simply for speaking maybe 5 words of Italian. It makes a huge difference to how you are perceived if you put in a little effort!
I appreciate the differences. I like that restaurants in France and Italy don't rush you and let you enjoy your meal. If you want fast service in France go to a McDonalds
Great advice for traveling to any country. Making a little effort to learn a little about the culture, especially the basic politeness will pay dividends in enjoyment of the experience of the culture
Absolutely! Glad you enjoyed my video. 😀
Bonjour! I am sure I committed Les faux pas while in France, but the French people I interacted with were much too polite to indicate it to me. They were patient, and even sometimes helpful, with my college level yet basic and rusty (and Probably hilarious) French language skills. I was very sad to have to come home. I enjoy your videos, merci!
After bonjour, I always say parle vous anglais? worked well for me.
"This service is slower than what I'm used to at home !" Well then go back home. Bon retour ! 😊
Yes Bonjour is mandatory and you totally nailed it, it's isn't only politeness, it's really a human being recognition. Even if this person is doing its job at serving you, he/she deserves that itsy tiny bit of politeness and kindness. We say it to everyone we have to deal with, even bus drivers, anybody crossing our way out home because they're neighbors and therefore also deserve that recognition, or even an employee whom we ask the location of a product. Even at the bus stop in the morning we say Bonjour to each others ! (Kids only say Bonjour to other kids and only nod to adults). The other day I couldn't find something in a huge grocery so I had to ask one of the employees who was busy filling a shelf. Five minutes later I needed another thing and this time I even apologized for being a pain like that at interrupting her and she was really touched and kindly answered my second query. No, she wasn't paid to answer my questions, she was paid to fill those shelves with heavy products and the task was clearly uneasy. Always be polite and remember you have a human being in front of you, not a robot.
Go back home because service is slower than what I"m used to? Might be a bit of a dramatic step lol. Slower service might give us time to reflect and stop rushing. Pros and cons, my friend. ;-)
It's OK to notice that things are done differently around the world and talk about them. Helps others to know what to expect.
Right on point Diane! When we travel, comparing is normal but we must be aware of cultural dos and don'ts and above all not judging 🧐
We stayed in an Airbnb in Nimes. There was a patisserie across the street. They opened at 7AM . I know this because I Was the American tourist who would show up every morning at 645. I found that even the minimum amount of French language went a long way.
Most bakeries in France open between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. ... and close from 8 p.m. (sometimes earlier) .... They are closed on Mondays with some exceptions ....
This is due to the fact that the bread is fresh and that the baker starts at 3 am to prepare it (with the pastries).
When I can from Germany and was introduced to a few of my new colleagues it took me several introductions to realise I should respond to their "enchanté" with "enchanté". Not a real faux pas I guess, but I could have gotten that quicker 🙈
I think that these travel tips would be practical in any country where you are a visitor! I have always made a point to learn a few words in the language of the country I am visiting and the local people are grateful when you speak some of their language.
You are spot on with your tips. Not only do I find them accurate and insightful, you delivered your message really effectively. I just discovered your channel and now will go watch some of your other videos. Thank you for the tips!
Welcome, so happy you're enjoying my videos!
Yup always Bonjour, regardless of how distracted you are!
i wish i saw this video back in 2009; i definitely got a lecture in "bonjour" from the metro ticket guy at the passy station 😅 i didnt know what he was saying, but i had a general understanding.
Hello, the good thing is after you get the lecture once, you learn your lesson and probably won't make the mistake again.
I tried to take a cake out of the round glass display case ( as one does at Safeway)and they went nuts! This was a small town in Provence...another thing is not to touch/pick up the fruits or vegetables on display on the sidewalk. I do love the tradition of saying hello ( bonjour) everywhere. It's a recognition of others and shows respect.
Bonjour, I suggest that if people would like to try out their high school french on people who know better, try going to Montreal in Quebec Canada. They have a diversity of people there. There are many immigrants from Africa who may be less fluent in English than the native Canadian people.
Most people who stay there for a few years become more used to American travelers. But they still might chastise you for not saying bonjour and Merci beaucoup. Tchuss !
Back in 2015 my job sent me to France for an assignment, I am Mexican American so for me traveling to Europe was never something in my mind or had any knowledge of any french words. I happen to learn two words Bonjour and Merci. I used those words as much as possible and let me tell you the French people treated me with so much love and respect that I fell in love with France, Two years later I took my family to Paris but we stayed right outside Paris in Montrouge, There was locals in that city so they didn’t really talked English but they went out of their way to help us out. No matter what the situation they went out off their way to try to translate, They say French people are rude nope that’s a lie, where I come from to get RESPECT you must give Respect and I think that applies to any place in the world.
Really good tips! Sometimes things can just be difficult no matter where you are so just go with it.
Re judgments, so many good things in France- like tarte aux framboises!
Good point about language. Do your best at whatever level you’re at.
Merci!! 🇺🇸🇫🇷
Well done video. On my first trip to France, I practiced basic phrases before hand. The first evening there, I went to dinner, got seated in a booth with French speakers inches away on both sides. The waiter arrived and I completely forgot how to say tap water, then froze and could only sputter "water, please". I felt all eyes upon me. It was embarrassing, but I got better as the trip progressed.
Glad you got better. It happens to all of us and the only way to go is up. I bet you're a pro now with your "une carafe d'eau s'il vous plait !"
Be careful what you say because you never know when the french citizen standing behind you speaks English and you could be VERY embarrassed. I speak a little French and can make myself understood in a simple way, my big problem is understanding them if they respond in French. It's fun. They will often change to English and I'm grateful but I still get mad at myself for not being better. I take some classes and I also have some funny stories because pronunciation or lack their of can make for some interesting encounters. I find most French people will be very helpful if you just follow the few simple rules given here. I have had conversations (in English thanks for French education system) with some very lovely French people.
Yup, very true about watching what you say and also about the French being helpful!
Also, my husband and I have had the opposite experience where we've been in a tour group in English and a French couple at a cafe table next to us were annoyed with how our group was spilling into the cafe seating area. They figured no one spoke French and made a rude comment about the tourists and Tom didn't skip a beat and put them (politely) in their place. Lesson learned for them!
I am the same way! I can speak French at about an intermediate level but have a really hard time understanding the responses.
We're headed to Paris in just under 90 days. Thanks for the tips! We are so looking forward to our trip.
Hope you enjoy it!
Bonjour, I really like the pace you put on these videos, it keeps me tuned in and constantly learning something new, I like the phrase "À bientôt" but maybe it should be reserved for someone I'm more familiar with? Is it too much since I may not actually see this person soon? What's the skinny? (And how do you say "what's the skinny" in France? Besides "ça va?"). Au r'voir. (see, I'm practicing;)
Yup. Totally blew it my first time there. Then, when I found out I needed to say bonjour, I also added Madame or Monsieur, and used pardon a lot. It created a totally different experience.
How do you like living in France? I'm planning a trip next year, so Thanks for the tips. 😊😊
Merci! I've finally found your videos and am binge-watching them. I must state that I was unaware of the Bonjour requirement, though I've been in France for longer than 5 weeks in two trips (I now realize how rude I was). If you would, please answer a question, which has been bothering me for years. While staying in a Parisian hotel over the course of a week, I would always use the word Merci with most interactions. At one point, the concierge complemented me on my pronunciation of the word. I was so taken aback that I didn't know whether to say Thank You or Merci and, didn't say anything in return, just gave him a shocked look. In your opinion, what would have been the proper response? Merci for taking time to put these videos together.
Hi there, glad you're enjoying my content! Re: the concierge, I think a smile and a merci, c'est gentil would have been fine. Or just a merci or acknowledgement. What you did was OK, no worries
Merci, I love your vids about life in France. I live in a high tourist city (San Francisco) and I wish someone would make a vid like this for tourists visiting here, they can be exasperating!
Bonjour, I got to be the 100th like. Thanks Dianne for the content.
Maybe it's strange for an English speaker to get used to our code of politeneness but it's the same for us French in the other way. I've made several trips to the US. Each time I need to talk to someone, a waiter, a salesperson, a ticket seller I NEED to say "bonjour" If I say hello it sounds weird, It's not the same. I mean it's really hard for a French NOT to say bonjour even in a country where it's not the norm.
Hi there, I think Americans would find it endearing if you said bonjour, like you were doing it on purpose. No harm done!
@@OuiInFrance Yes, I understand, but I don't need specifically to say "bonjour" if there is another equivalent in the foreign language when I'm abroad. For example, in Greek it's kalimera, so I say kalimera to everybody exactly like I would do in French with bonjour. In English, correct me if I'm wrong, it seems to me the English Hello! doesn't match our casual Bonjour. It's this very casual bonjour that I miss. I feel impolite to address a salesperson without saying some sort of equivalent of bonjour but it seems awkard to say hello.
@@norbertfontaine8524 For me, a more casual way to say bonjour instead of hello would be hi or hi there, both acceptable.
@@norbertfontaine8524 Try saying "Excuse me" followed by your question or "Can you help me?" and then follow with what you need. There are many new electronic translators on the market now that may help you enjoy your trip more. I know I only got a few months of French when I was in high school and I do not speak French very well at all. I doubt you will find many people in the United States that speak French either so the electronic translators will help you so much when coming here. In the U.S. you can travel across the country by car and it will take you a week to get from the east coast to the west coast. Everyone speaks English though? So you only have to know one language. Try that in Europe. It is much less complicated to communicate here. Good luck on your next trip.
From Google "Translate"
Essayez de dire "Excusez-moi" suivi de votre question ou "Pouvez-vous m'aider?" puis suivez ce dont vous avez besoin. Il existe de nombreux nouveaux traducteurs électroniques sur le marché qui peuvent vous aider à profiter davantage de votre voyage. Je sais que je n'ai appris que quelques mois de français quand j'étais au lycée et je ne parle pas très bien le français du tout. Je doute que vous trouviez beaucoup de gens aux États-Unis qui parlent français non plus, alors les traducteurs électroniques vous aideront beaucoup lorsque vous viendrez ici. Aux États-Unis, vous pouvez voyager à travers le pays en voiture et il vous faudra une semaine pour vous rendre de la côte est à la côte ouest. Mais tout le monde parle anglais? Vous n'avez donc à connaître qu'une seule langue. Essayez ça en Europe. C'est beaucoup moins compliqué de communiquer ici. Bonne chance pour votre prochain voyage.
9:45 - I always wait for natives to start complaining about strikes (usually RATP) first. 🙂
I was consulting (IT) for SNCF in 2004. My office was in Gare Saint-Lazare building. One day two or three people in T-shirts with some logos and colorful badges knocked and entered, speaking rapidly and offering me some leaflets. I explained (in English) that I am not an employee and that I didn't speak any French. They were undeterred and left the flyers, anyway - they were for an upcoming, quite comprehensive strike.
Bonjour Diane, I assume with the ‘Bonjour’ goes eye contact? It shows people are paying attention to you. Now I’m older I don’t mind waiting for that nicety. Off to France today for the 5th time. So excited. 🇦🇺
Yes eye contact always helps. Have a wonderful trip!
Ouch! Got a very embarrassing lesson on the "bonjour" custom some years ago from a parisien bus driver. Simply asked if this was the correct bus for --, and received no reply. Especially embarrassing as I lived for six years in Quebec, and have some grasp of the French language. I tried the question in English and French, and was greeted with a stoney silence. Eventually she said in perfect English " in France we commence a conversation with "bonjour", and yes, this is the bus for---."
I love the fact that a simple greeting is important. I feel that US has lost a lot of basic manners. I look forward to this challenge.
Bonjour Dianne. C’est Josef. I’m good with the basis etiquette you covered even down to boarding a bus or taxi. One mistake I remember was a time I didn’t board a taxi at the cab cue snd had to start over. Another on an earlier trip was trying to get to Pont Neuf by taxi. The driver was trying to tell me it was only a block away but I couldn’t understand him. Ou la la.
Well, at least it was a cheap taxi ride ;-)
Very good points! I might add a universal language that also goes a long way…. A warm smile. 🙂
Love it! You know France so well! Guess what? I see it from a French pespective... I'm always shocked to see somebody - in another coutry than France - asking for or ordering something in a shop with no "hi/hello" before anything! I find it so rude!
Bonjour Diane. Thank you for the great video. I am just learning French and can construct a few sentences, etc....so about A2 level and can understand a good amount of what I read. My question is, I want to speak French in France when I can, to show my effort, but when I enter a store or restaurant, after the "bonjour" I become hesitant to ask for what I need. Even though I may know how to ask in French, oftentimes I find myself unable to understand the answer coming to me....usually in "fast French". At that point I have to say "Désole, Je ne parle pas français" which sounds ridiculous because I asked the question in French to begin with! How does one move forward with this? I really want to live here someday, so I am trying....but I find myself not confident in initiating even a simple exchange at times for fear of not understanding what I am hearing. Any tips, thoughts would be tremendously appreciated!
Hi Cynthia, the beginning stages are really hard and if you don't have interaction with that "real" French often enough, it can be even more difficult. But I know what you mean about not understanding the reply. I had so much trouble with that when I first moved and it took a while to get comfortable approaching people for fear of not understanding the reply!
First, instead of telling someone you don't speak French as a reply, I would amend that slightly and say something like "I didn't understand. I'm learning French" -- with a smile. "Je n'ai pas compris, j'apprends le francais...." and even ask them to repeat it.
Getting comfortable and understanding more and more just takes practice and time, so I would recommend you do everything in your power to train your ear -- podcasts, shows, youtube whatever. Then as you get better, you'll become more confident. But it's true that it takes time and we just have to keep muddling through.
Hang in there!
This blog post might also help: www.ouiinfrance.com/my-simple-tips-to-help-you-feel-less-nervous-about-speaking-french/
Hello Cynthia, my answer comes quite late but I felt the need to underlight a few tips that might help you feel more confident in such situation.
First, as long as we understand you're a foreigner (most of the time we hear it the way people say "bonjour") you shouldn't be much worried about you're French level and asking for people to repeat or slow the pace of their answers; put aside the situation where someone is in a hurry (crowded café/restaurant or someone who was just passing by on the street), we will most likely gladly adapt ourselves. Also try to avoid coming up with a sentence you've spent 5 minutes to think about, it'll be better than your actual level, which might leads the french person to speak as usual (even better, try to appear worse than you are, more hesitant, or make simpler questions and then step up as you feel more comfortable)
Second, french themselves are famously bad at foreign languages (which is true) and they know it's hard; immense majority of us are shameful of our bad english and would often apologise for it before we even speak, and never even try to make a good accent as we're not confident achieving a decent one. A french thing to do would be to engage the conversation by apologising with and embarassed smile, going like "Bonjour Monsieur/madame, désolé je ne parle pas bien français ...". This will give you all of the sympathy possible from your listener.
It feels like i kinda repeated myself twice but just remember it's human interactions, nothing you don't know about, as long as you're polite, smiling, communicative and you feel the person you're talking to isn't in a hurry go on, the more you're open to failure the more you'll learn. (Also 2 things : 1) Frenchs might tend to correct the pronunciation or little mistakes you may say, don't feel offended, most chances are it's to help you, we even do it with each other / 2) Frenchs are "cold/rude" by nature, being distant is seen as respectful in the public area, just as being quiet or extremely polite and formal. Don't see it as a barrier, the appearances take 2-3 sentences to wash away into something more personnal and welcoming (more true in big cities, in countryside there is less this 'protection shield"))
For the longest time I have mispronounced Croque Monsieur. I now know it is croak as in dead or frog sound but always got served with a smile. My wife still after three trips can never say bon jour even close to correct but she goes to BHV by herself and comes back smiling.
So I speak French. Badly. We had a spectacular time in Paris none-the-less using your rule about bonjour that my high school French teacher taught me all those years ago. We rented a flat for a couple weeks and went to the same places daily for breakfast, coffee, and groceries. We actually chatted with the folks helping us out as best we could on occasion and I was told that my American accent was “pretty.” Another guy thought I was Spanish. Go figure. One waiter did break the French “no touching” rule when he playfully tapped my shoulder as I was describing Norte Dame as an église-I learned it is a Cathédrale of course. Another waiter brought our coffee drinks and “baker’s best” pastry to us without even ordering every day for the next 2 weeks without fail. I have only the nicest memories of Paris and I know the key was that magic word.
So glad you had a wonderful trip!!
Bonjour, I'm making a mental note. Thanks!😍
This was a very helpful episode.
Bonjour à tous.
C'est surprenant d'entendre l'explication logique de comportements qui pour nous ne se questionnent pas, tellement ils sont naturels.
J'ai toujours dit et appliqué à mes enfants que le B A BA de l'éducation est :
Bonjour, s'il vous plaît, merci et au revoir.
Cela allait de soi.
Maintenant je sais pourquoi.
Merci à vous.
Cordialement.
In an elevator, it is a requirement to say "Bonjour" only if it is a person you know ... and the first time of the day.
In this specific case, it will be good to look at other people you don't know and say bonjour, in order not to look a bit selfish.
And keep in mind that, if it is required to say "bonjour" ... people will feel more or less offended if you say it to them twice the same day !!!
For me, even if French myself, at work, this was a pure nightmare because i can be very absent-minded when i am mentally focused on something.
And, of course, due to the specificity of my job and my own personality, it was almost always the case at the working place.
Then, it was some sort of a tiring chore to always keep in mind all the people i had already said "bonjour" to.