You're Not Broken, The Dating World Is
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- Опубликовано: 12 июн 2024
- The modern dating world is messed up, and navigating relationships during this time can be a real challenge. Whether you're dealing with online dating woes, facing dating challenges, feeling like giving up or just seeking some love advice, this video is for you.
It's time to understand that you're not broken - the dating world is.
The Only Dating Advice You'll Ever Need!: • The Only Dating Advice...
Tips For A Successful Relationship: • 6 Tips For A Successfu...
#dating #love #relationship
Writer: Sara Del Villar
Editor: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Ashleigh Aishwarya
Animator: Naphia
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
SOURCES:
Basu, T. (2022, April 15). You’re not imagining it: Always checking dating apps makes you feel worse. MIT Technology Review. www.technologyreview.com/2019/08/01/65494/youre-not-imagining-it-always-checking-dating-apps-makes-you-feel-worse/
Busby, D. M., Carroll, J. S., & Willoughby, B. J. (2010). Compatibility or Restraint? The Effects of Sexual Timing on Marriage Relationships. BYU ScholarsArchive. scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=5309&context=facpub
Coduto, K. D., Lee-Won, R. J., & Baek, Y. M. (2020). Swiping for trouble: Problematic dating application use among psychosocially distraught individuals and the paths to negative outcomes. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(1), 212-232. doi.org/10.1177/0265407519861153
Cosan , Z. (2020, September 21). Paradox of choice. Paradox of Choice - Leiden Psychology Blog. www.leidenpsychologyblog.nl/articles/paradox-of-choice
Giles, G. (2023, March 27). The importance of boundaries in romantic relationships. MentalHelp.net. www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/the-importance-of-boundaries-in-romantic-relationships/
L., D. (2021, October 3). The Real Reason Why Online Dating Sucks. Medium. medium.com/heart-affairs/the-real-reason-why-online-dating-sucks-d41dca20451d
Leibowitz, M. (2022, September 29). Dating is broken. going retro could fix it. The New York Times. www.nytimes.com/2022/09/29/opinion/dating-courtship-relationships.html
The Decision Lab. (2023). Choice overload bias. The Decision Lab. thedecisionlab.com/biases/choice-overload-bias#
The Decision Lab. (2023b). The paradox of choice. The Decision Lab. thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/economics/the-paradox-of-choice#
What do you think about Naphia's animation? If you're struggling with dating, here's a video to help you. The Only Dating Advice You'll Ever Need!: ruclips.net/video/CYvjC94jDu4/видео.htmlsi=hA316AoDL0zdiMdn
It's adorable I love it! 😊
Thanks for uploading this video! I really want to be in a relationship with someone, but so far nothings happening. Let's hope I find the right person once I start college next year
I love the animation
@@illyana_tries_youtube I agree!
Replying solely to animation quality: The animation had too much movement. I ended up with the start of a headache due to just how far frames jumped back and forth.
Just realised Monika is the perfect thumbnail for this video: She literally lives in a "dating world" and breaks it because it takes everything away from her.
Edit: Holy Cungadero I'm famous yay :)
Thank you! Naphia (our animator) chimed on this thumbnail idea. Glad you noticed it!
I did notice as well, very fitting indeed
I love monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
The dating world collapsed when people started calling it the dating market.
Would you call it dating world or dating market?
@@Psych2go The dating world or potentially the dating scene. The dating market makes it seem like we are all products to be consumed for pleasure instead of human beings looking for a genuine emotional connection.
It basically is a market. The richer you are and the more shelf-ready you look, the more successful you are.
Words have power. When the first thing on your mind is that you're a disposable product on a shelf it dehumanized you and removes any sense of guilt from those who would cast you aside. I'll accept either world or scene
I feel like calling it the "dating market" was just a symptom of a bigger problem. People wouldn't talk about things like "sexual market value" if older methods like meeting someone in college, getting to know them as friends first, and then moving up to dating still worked for most people. None of my relatives from gen X, the Boomers, or even the Greatest Generation understand what the "friendzone" is, and that's a big part of it.
online dating apps has made people impatient, they want instant results, but long lasting relationships need a slow pace.
I think most people understand that relationships take a long time to build, its just that they never expect it to not meet with their high expectations. Usually in movies romantic relationships are portrayed as either very easy going, or very conflicting, and never ever has it been portrayed as boring. People always want to do stuff with their partner without realizing that it may be burning out their relationship faster than what a good relationship should be like. Its not particularly that they're impatient, just a bit inexperienced with the pacing.
I wouldn't say that online dating apps caused those expectations, but more of a combination of Covid, Media, and relevant examples of relationships that cause this.
The point I'm trying to make is, basically, don't be pointing fingers at weird corporations just because their weird, and instead try to look at everything, especially stuff behind the scenes.
Nobody has time to wait around for positive feedback when the person they're interested in is potentially, hell at this point, VERY LIKELY giving what you want from them away to some other person on the first night. Guys have caught on to this, so they don't want to commit anymore. Meanwhile, women want to "live their best life" and do what they want when they want with their bodies and think there won't be any long term consequences for doing so, until they hit the wall and realize the time they SHOULD HAVE committed was wasted fucking whoever they wanted cause "my body my choice" mentality, not realizing that mentality only benefits the guys they wish they could keep because those guys know they have what the women want and will dangle it over them like a carrot until they're ready to move on to the next toy.
No one wants to commit, but everyone wants transparency. Nobody wants to be transparent because nobody wants to be vulnerable. No one can communicate properly like this when everyone's giving mixed signals or intentionally lying.
lol u think it's just dating apps? that mindset stems from social media in general, TikTok has catalysed that process and given what I like to call 'TikTok brain'. No one has a long attention span these days, too much dopamine consumption, leading to impatience and wanting instant results. There are other issues that are interrelated to dating, this being one of them. If someone gets mad at me saying this, it just proves my point because ppl do get mad, but I see them and they're addicted to their screens and looking at dumb shit online that then changes their world perception. My former colleagues are some of the biggest hypocrites ive ever seen lmao
right on @ankita, i could never date a woman that i don't know. she gotta be my friend first for a couple years, and i'm not talking about friends with benefits.
The men aren’t impatient, they can’t be impatient
Dating apps are designed to keep you single and swiping.
Someone once said something I absolutely agree with:
As a man, dating apps are like searching the desert for water.
As a woman, dating apps are like searching for clean water in a swamp.
So true
I agree cause on dating apps you sometimes encounter ghosters and catfishers. So they are definitely a waste a time, people may end up lucky to find a real person sometimes but it’s not everyone’s case.
Thing is though swamp water often just looks dirty, but is actuely healthy to drink when you filter out the sand. Same is true here. Woman see something they think they don't like cause they took a shallow look at it and walk past it not relising it could have bin something good had they only spend some time on it. Unless the water looks perfectly clean from the start there not willing to drink it.
Dating apps are basically the same thing as a night club but on somewhat bigger scale.
Only absolute moron would think that you can find anything other than random sex in such place and even then if you are lucky.
Don't be stupid and keep out of such places.
And why is that? Because female standards are TOO HIGH.
I stopped dating about ten years ago because I felt I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Now I just feel like a relationship isn’t worth the effort. Some people have told me it sounds like I’ve given up, and I may have. However, I’m still more comfortable with the experience of being single than I am with the thought of attempting to share my life with someone else.
In the past twenty years, I have had only two relationships and both of them left trashed me. Along with having high-functioning autism and not always being able to see the truth, I seriously feel that I am better off not doing any dating.
Unless something changes in the future, I too plan on being single since i've always felt more comfortable that way.
You made a wise decision.
Singlehood for life.
You're still not ready for a relationship.
My wife and I met in an online text base game called a MUSH in 1993. We've been happily married now for 27 years.
Wow, that's so amazing! It's so rare! What advice would you give to someone looking for love?
I'm simply stunned to hear someone else talk about a MUSH (or MUDs, MOOs, and all the others). So few people seem to remember them these days.
Congratulations to you and your wife.
69th like
HELL YEAH
Damn, I'm so jealous of that. Nowadays online gaming is too random.
That was a really good amazing thing to hear🫠🫠... May u always live happy together❤️❤️
I'm 20 and I've never had any relationships. Back in highschool, I always saw a lot of students f*cking up their relationships, getting into fights, their friends end up getting involved, etc. I believe you end up finding the person you are meant to along the way of your life, but you gotta try and live the best version of your life so your pasions end up making you cross paths. That's why I decided that the best way to know if a person is a meant for you is the mentality: "I don't know you, but I want to. So, let's take it slow and be friends, and if we end up liking each other after knowing our strengths and weaknesses, let's give it a try to be each other partner and strive to become better people and couple". People don't realize that the point of a relationship is to help each other grow as a person, being there for your partner when he/she needs you and knowing that even if it hurts them, you have to tell them when something they are doing is wrong or affecting their life in a negative way. Love is not part of the human instinct, it's determined commitment to not only to be loyal to a person, but also to yourself.
That's pretty insightful and a great reflection of your self awareness and potential growth.
I hope that you find yours when the time is right for you. 😌
You're completely spot on! I hope you and anyone else who read this comment find their partner at the right time!
People get past the honeymoon phase and don't do anything about it. You're supposed to put in the work to foster your relationship and make it something that elevates both parties. That's another big problem.
Waa, I agree so much with what you said, I think my vision/goals in a relationship would be like what you mentioned . Glad to see other people with similar thoughts :) I would really prefer dating someone who after knowing each other for some time (=Being friends) and develop feelings for each other, leads to having a better relationship, since well you would know that you like them for this and that. The only scary thing is If things don’t work out, I wouldn’t want to lose that friendship .
i’m a similar age as you; i’m 21 and that’s why i didn’t date as well. i saw people getting into relationships at really young ages and regretting it . i felt like i wasn’t ready for it and i focused on my own life. i’ll look forward to meeting the right person for me when it’s meant to be :)
It's really noticeable how guys are loved starved in the dating world.
I'm Bi, never dated anyoke but surely tried to flirt with men and woman.
What i noticed sofar, woman either don't even give you a chance, or expect way too much of you. While some guys i've met were the most sweetes person i've ever seen, and a simple "You're nice" made their whole day.
In conclusion:
It's not every woman ofcourse, but a large portion just have way too high of standarts, while most guys would literally break down in tears of joy over 1 simple compliment.
It is the women. Their wetware to be exact. But we're only allowed to attack someone's character for biological urges if their men so......
Another struggle I find is because we’re so ingrained in online interaction, actually meeting people in real life is harder
I couldn’t agree more. Texting is very stressful for me, but talking to people in public is really comfortable for me. Which makes it hard, because a lot of people find coming up and talking to another person, creepy.
@@wetwillyis_1881 That's not the case if you live in a city where people are closed off. Here in Vancouver it's practically impossible to go out and meet someone in person.
@@spentcasing3990 Really? I had no idea. That literally sounds like a nightmare to me. Do you like that it's like that?
@@wetwillyis_1881 No I hate it. Before moving to Vancouver I lived in Edmonton. It was a lot easier to meet people, make friends and dating was easier. People there are more open in general.
While I love living by the ocean and mountains again. It's the total opposite. People are very closed off unless they need you for something. People are very fake and very flakey. You try to make plans with people only to get ghosted all the time. Dating is virtually impossible unless you use a dating app because everyone seems to stick to their little circle of friends and almost seem afraid of making new connections.
The only time people seemed to open up more was during the pandemic when the city was more or less locked down. I guess all that forced isolation made people want to reach out, because dating during the pandemic was never a problem. Now that things are back to normal, everyone seems closed off again.
Dating apps don't work well for men. 10% of men get 90% of the matches.
Fun fact: Male Tinder profiles outnumber Female profiles two to one, and half of those female profiles are bot accounts.
So it’s actually more like four to one. Good luck fellas🤣
And the real ones have ridiculously high standards, swiping right only at 5% of the choices per avg.
Im genuinely curious, what are the signs that the profile you've matched with are just bot accounts?
@@chrisfelonall1177 Most of the time, bot accounts have these traits:
1: Not many photos
2: Unverified
3: No bio(or very short)
4: No answered prompts
5: Rarely respond when messaged
I usually steer clear of unverified accounts, but occasionally you run into a real person that just hasn’t verified themselves yet.
And I'll bet 90% of the remaining women are also fake -- caked in makeup, pictured in certain angles or outright misleading (e.g. photoshopping their obesity), have a dozen or three "backups", kids that are "her world", diseases, etc.
@@chrisfelonall1177 when the "girl" is actually interested in you and nice to you and message you back... that's a bot 😂
“Hoping for one more march and having an empty inbox leads to depression and low self esteem.”
Guys on dating apps - no matches - no messages.
Girls on dating apps - 1000 of each within a week.
I know girls have their own struggles with dating, but it’s SO often not talked about that guys have this unique struggle. Especially because guys aren’t allowed to show or say they’re depressed or down.
Very true. I've come across many profiles of women revealing on their profiles that they struggle with mental illnesses, recovery from addiction, etc. But if I admitted that I'm not happy and smiling every minute of my life, then I must be broken and not worth the time. Society has gotten to where it's fine if women are broken but men must be in perfect mental health.
Yeah I tried online dating last summer and it brought nothing but disappointment and trouble from how the girls wouldn’t stop asking me for stuff and the others rarely talked to me. I encountered a few ghosters and catfishers. Also not to mention a huge waste of money having to see who liked your profile and make your profile most likely to be seen. So meeting people in person is definitely better, less deception.
Men don't suffer from the paradox of choice though, more like the paradox of 0 matches fml..
its a woman speaking, only her experiences are real lol
Actually thought it was me. I actually started off being not so picky to get used to this dating thing.
I’m 25 years old and I’ve never been on a date or even kissed a girl. It’s been pretty tempting to just completely give up.
But I can’t. If I throw in the towel, I’ll only have myself to blame when I’m alone forever.
19 and the same, it's a bit demoralising seeing those around me dating, even those who I never thought were the type to date
Don't give up, just keep the option open for when you meet someone. I didn't meet my person until I was 36. I wasn't even looking.
I'm going to suggest something that may not be easy to hear but here it goes. NO ONE IS PROMISED A HAPPY ENDING. "Someone for everyone" is a myth Especially for men, nowadays. I am not saying you should give up, but it is always good to plan for the worst. What will you do if you never find someone? And I'm not talking about "ending" anything. But how will you live your life if you have decided (and you are the only one who can decide) that you will not be sharing it with anyone?
@@crazedvole Oh believe me, I think about that all the time. Love, just like life, is a game. Games have winners and losers.
There’s a very strong possibility that I may never fall in love with anyone. Sure, it sucks, but I’ll find a way to live with it.
22 here, close to 23 and in the same boat.
If I'm, idk, 27 or 28 and still in the same boat, I'm prob just gonna see a pro to get it out of my system, and then devote my life to mentoring the next generation so I'll at least still be able to help a kid grow up, even if they aren't mine.
It feels to me like this whole video is skewed in the direction of dating as a woman. I would like to see you guys genuinely dive into the struggles and difficulties of trying to date as a man. It's incredibly soul crushing when you actually look into the topic. Not a bad video, but i feel like it's kind of one sided. I love the work you guys do, would love to see your take on dating as a man. Cuz from my own experience, it's truly a nightmare.
This video is exclusively from the perspective of a woman
Men very rarely get dates from dating apps for example
And it also talks about jumping from relationship to relationship, that's not the dating experience of most men
Most men either never had a relationship, or very few relationships
Because it isnt from the perspective of men. It all but completely ignores the male side.
In case you haven't noticed, the whole aesthetic of this channel is geared towards women or at least the feminine side of things. The colour palettes, animation style, voice cast etc, it's all pretty obvious. Not saying it's a bad thing. The branding is pretty spot on. You're just on the wrong channel for the sort of topic you're looking for.
@@XristosArgyropoulos"jumping from relationship to relationship"...so, monkeybranching?
@@hopperstreams4487 Not necessarily, Many women suffer from different struggles it their relationship
For example, she finds a good looking wealthy and popular guy, she gets sexualy intimate with him, but weeks, months, years are passing and he still wants the relationship to be casual, or even "open", that's not what she was looking for and she realized at some point he will never commit to her so she ends the "situatioships" and suffers the exact same problem with her next partner
I don't know exactly why this is happening, but a suspicion of mine is that women nowadays are dating men that are too good for relationships
They are dating the few guys that have harems of women hoping to make him commit, which will never ever happen
But yes, monkey branching is a thing too, but in that scenario is the man who is suffering, so women don't complain about that part when they talk about their relationship problems
They complain about the top guy not committing to her as if she is the Disney princess of the movie
Sorry for the long post
Every woman I've been out with from a dating app turned out to be emotionally unavailable or a whack job. All of the real relationships I've had were with girls I met organically. I'm single again after leaving a 3 year relationship last year, but I definitely won't be trying on the dating apps anymore.
Absolutely. Dating apps also pose a huge scamming danger. Most can be easily spotted but some can be quite sophisticated.
Its true, there is something in meeting someone in real life what cant be replicated in meeting someone online.
100% truth.
Dating apps are a cesspool
I once sent a woman a message (on OkCupid IIRC) and she sent me her rates per 30 minutes.
@@Smethells2023 That's because they take your money with no guarantee. They are incentivized by your failure.
They didn't use to be. What happened was Match, and then capitalism figuring out that people in a happy long-term relationship produces less money than hookup culture and keeping people frustrated, jealous of imaginary rivals and unhappy..
I just wish they would come out with a dating app that's only allowed for introverts to use so that we can easily find other people with our personality type, who already understand us from the start.
@@trophyscene5015 But then who would send the first message? 😀
Just Monika!
Seriously, love the thumbnail!
Just Monika!
Just Monika!
Just Monika!
Boy on grinning mode when see Monika in the thumbnail, I tell you that guys 😂🔥
Online dating feels more like trying to ace a job interview than emotionally connecting with someone.
And you feel reduced to a client instead of a person.
Part of the problem is stated at the beginning of this video...looking for someone "just like you". People on these sites seem not to understand that partners generally should complement, not mirror or mimic, each other.
I want to date someone who has the same humor and hobbies as me, so they mirror me in that way. But I do also want them to have a different perspective and personality than mine.
@@edwadloozley5309I mean that's still not really mirroring is it? That sounds Absolutely healthy. Ofc you'd want someone with the same humor, or else life would be depressing af if you can't even laugh about stuff with your partner. Or only laugh just so your partner isn't sad. No one would want that ofc. But you still accept the fact, that your partner will have different views in different topics, and that's a good thing! That's exactly the point of a relationship, to be able to handle those perspectives. Friends or family members also have different perspectives. Do we instantly hate them for that? No.
Bro summoned a whole fandom with that thumbnail 💀
haha! What do you think about it?
Yeah, it's unavoidable.
Yes.
Somehow the DDLC fandom survived to this day, i thank DDLC+ for it
@@victorjun2421 And also a bit by the mods.👍
I'm honestly conflicted with dating. One one hand, I would love to have a loving partner. But on the other hand, I prefer keeping to myself. So I end up not really knowing what direction I should lean into.
I'm like this too. Its very lonely, but at the same time its also peaceful. If you meet someone with just the right vibe, it will be great, but finding them is the hard part.
In this case i recommend just not actively searching, but if by pure coincidence you find someone, go for it
What if you met someone who would respect the amount of personal space you need?
Being in a relationship does not mean you can't keep to yourself. If you find the right one, they will appropriately respect your boundaries and give you the time and space you need so you can stay the person they fell in love with.
Same, it's why i'm trying to stay low and avoid a partner for the time being. The loneliness kinda sucks but it's better than being actively hurt.
I’m a 17 year old guy and here’s my problem with dating these days.
1. Social Media & Dating Apps
Social Media & Dating Apps is just ruining the Social Infrastructure of Communication & Interaction. This lack in person interaction and communication but also lack of social skills such as Verbal Communication, Eye Contact, & more is becoming more and more apparent, but also this Obsession of communicating behind a screen, obsession of fame behind a screen like followers, subscribers, viewers, & more is just tiring.
2. Lack of Attentiveness
Look I’m an Attentive Guy and willing to give my attention to people that want it but why give a girl attention and not get the same attention as well really? Why sacrifice my attention that leads up to no where really.
3. Lack of Originality in Personality
Everyone trying to be the same is another issue again caused by social media, nobody wants to be different anymore, and I mean different in a good way, what makes a person unique in their own way, & more. But just a lack of variety as well, and everyone either seems neglective but also angry as well.
This video is exclusively from the perspective of a woman
Men very rarely get dates from dating apps for example
And it also talks about jumping from relationship to relationship, that's not the dating experience of most men
Most men either never had a relationship, or very few relationships
As a person who just focuses on a serious romance focused relationship and is saving myself for marriage, I get looked at like an alien.
Relatable.
I’m too am on a similar journey due to the amount of damage hookup culture caused in tainting the dating pool for long enough. Another reason is due to my religious upbringing whereas sex is sacred and meant to be taken seriously since you’re only a virgin once in your lifetime. Because something people don’t wish to acknowledge is that sex is different for men and women, but that doesn’t excuse the consequences of frivolously by sleeping around like catching something or unable to connect with someone via soul-ties/pair-bonding.
Why there's no in between serious relationship and hookup for you? It's not black and white, you can still date people. You may have and keep your views on that, but on my experience with a few people I met I now avoid those who save themselves for marriage, because they didn't even try. They don't know what kind of person they would like, they never tried to build a consensual relationship, practice intimacy and vulnerability. I'm not even talking about sexual compatibility. You can't just KNOW these things until you try to meet people. And when marriage happens you start to learn about these things that don't bond well with you. And it's too late.
You don't have to sleep around, but trying to see people and see where it goes? Yes, for sure.
You can, of course, keep it to your views and stick to them. But you have to understand why you are looked at like an alien.
I'm 20 and I have my V- card waiting for the right girl, that's why I'm trying to improve myself as a person. Don't pay attention to those idiots, they just use their bodies and people like objects, not looking for authentic connection. I respect their lifestyle but better they respect mine either.
@@AlexiosLair So if I'm in my 30s and have no experience I'll be seen as an alien and I'll struggle even more to find dates? I need experience to date but I need to date to get experience. I could try finding women who also have no experience but then I'd be called a predator for going after younger women. So what exactly are you proposing people like us do?
I mean, even dating in your social circle can be a hassle. I've seen best of friends break their friendships over a person one of them were dating was an ex, or a mutual crush-- but in the end, they'd date less than a year! The grudges never go away and rancours are what keep once friends separated.
It's so exhausting.
yeah i dont know why us humans have this weird brain function to be jealous of our friends and ESPECIALLY when they confess they want to date you but cant handle the rejection so they cant handle even being your friend anymore... most people arent mature enough to handle that so they just be grumpy and walk away over such a silly thing. its very sad.
@@DuhAnimeProtagonist I'd say it's also mature to just walk away completely. Let's say that a friend that you had a crush on just rejected you, would you want them to feel awkward whenever you're around and have them walking on eggshells? Would you want to be miserable on the inside when you find out that they started dating this other person despite you saying that if they're happy then you're happy? No? Then do what's best for both of you and walk away. Now if you're the type of person who can handle it then go for it, be friends still.
Immaturity and possessiveness. One of my best friends whom I’ve known about three years, we started out by dating. I really liked her. But for whatever reasons she chose another guy.
Admittedly, even though I’d probably have liked a relationship with her, I don’t think I was ready for it back then. I’d have probably screwed it up and parted on bad terms.
It worked out for the best. I’m genuinely grateful she’s my friend and probably wouldn’t be the same person today without her. She’s got the most sturdy moral compass of almost anyone I know. She’s one of the very few people I genuinely see eye-to-eye with. Lots of women or people in general whom I’ve known, are rather self-centred and opportunistic in their approach to dating, even manipulative. I can list many specific examples (for example dating multiple people at the same time while hiding it and leading them on). And often these people don’t even realise how self-centred this is. They just think this is the ‘new normal’. I have an extremely low tolerance for such things. I choose my friends carefully and generally avoid these types, but where I am “friends” with these types and if we fell out for whatever reasons, I don’t think I’d care at all. I might even feel relieved. I can barely be bothered to maintain those connections as things stand already.
@@DuhAnimeProtagonistSome experiences are difficult to understand until you have it. Before falling in love for the first time I thought the same. Also, there are other variables involved, like depression or anxiety. Call people with these problems just immature is not exactly fair, it is? Another factor: Make a Google search about what (usually) happens in the brain when someone have a romantic disillusion. The same parts of the brain associated with addiction and physical pain are activated. You actually can suffer an abstinence crisis of that person and almost feel like it really hurts. At this point, emotions turn to be really chaotic, and even paradoxical. Label someone who pass through this as immature is an unfair simplification. I'm not saying this will happen everytime or about that random girl that you "hit", but about someone that you know and really care about. When I was depressed for the first time (nothing about relationship), I realize that was really terrible, right, but at the same time I got more courage, because instead of imagine what could be the worst possible situation and fear that, you actually experience that, and despite being truly terrible, you see that you can handle it somehow. I thought that was the worst possible situation... I was wrong. After being rejected by my best female friend I felt depression + anxiety, and I tell you: It is the hell on earth. I would like that people comprehend how it is, but if you have to live this to comprehend, I prefer that you don't, and I can handle that. I'm not above of wishing bad things to people sometimes but, and I'm being honest, I don't wish the same that I passed to NO ONE, even to the people I dislike most.
All I can say as a man here is broes before hoes. Meaning good friendships last forever and with a relationship you never know.
See, what I found the most interesting is a little chat I had with some friends a few weeks ago. All the dude's in the group who had tried dating apps absolutely despised them. Even the one guy who actually found love through Tinder. However the one girl in the group who had recently gotten out of a 10 year relationship absolutely loved dating apps.
My best friend tried dating site after dating site. All she got were men that were either abusive or were out for just... ahem... "greasing the pole".
She did finally meet her husband. How? She attended a medieval reenactment! Her husband was there after he got invited there by one of the organisers. They got crushes on each other from the get-go, but they didn’t actually date until a few years later - they did however form a very solid friendship which blossomed. Now, 18 years later, they have a beautiful 3-year-old daughter and a very loving marriage.
Dating on shared hobby ‘s seems like a nice thing
Sounds like the magic of Third Places. Out in the public, you never know who you meet. And who you befriend!
Oh this is a load of shit 😂
The re-enactment enthusiast scene is full of fucking weirdest and Poly harems 😂😂😂😂
Never Gonna Give You Up is an excellent song.
All memes aside, the first few lyrics are the alternative to shallow hookup culture; the key to ending toxic dating:
"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"
Yeah, do that and you'll be labeled as a "nice guy".
Because if you treat her as a human being, you're "boring" and are "putting her on a pedestal".
This was the most wholesome rickroll in existence
@@vadim6385 If someone thinks you're boring because you love her, then you dodged a bullet.
@@diamondmemer9754He did put the memes aside, that means he didn't Rickroll☺️. I could be wrong if he actually did.
God Bless Rick Astley😂👍
"Be honest with yourself"
I've been told that's probably why dating apps don't work for me
This is for women.
For men is more like "watch all these girls going for the same two guys then settle, date some that feels is above u or be ready to loneliness for the rest of your miserable life"
The way I see it, instead of finding a relationship, it’s better to let the relationship find you, because if it happens naturally, it’s bound to end up better
My best dating advice: delete dating apps from your phone and meet people through your family or social networks. Also, be the best person you can be so that you actually deserve your ideal partner, and hopefully they deserve you too.
This is exactly my thoughts on it. I don't like the idea of online dating(or online friendship for that matter). Talking to people online is one thing and can be good, but expecting it to be like in person meetups is a problem. And that's what dating apps try to do is force in person expectations into a place where they don't really exist, the internet. And shared interests does not equal social compatibility, another problem with online dating.
I've been trying to expand my social circle by going out to events and form deeper friendships than simple friendly acquaintances cause I feel lonely and that's my first step is becoming true in person friends with someone or a few people. Whether that's a few months or a few years, I need to do that first. Then, once I have my friends for fun activities and emotional support, I'll step into the dating world, but I need friends first. Otherwise, who am I going to turn to for those heartbreak moments when I really need the support?
I mean sure, my mom is very supportive and caring for me, and I would get her support no questions asked, but what if I need more support than just her? What if I need someone to do an activity with to help get my mind off of the heartbreak of a relationship that didn't turn out to be and my mom is unavailable because of a meeting or whatever? Better to form a friendship now while I feel emotionally and mentally well in preparation for the bad that is most likely to happen when I get into romance than to form one while feeling down in the dumps over a relationship that didn't turn out.
Similarly, I don't think that going right into a first date is the right thing to do either, at least not for me. I don't get an immediate lust for anyone, no matter how they look or act. So why expect me to feel like I need to get romantic right away? Indeed, I need a friendship bond for love to grow, I need them to be good with being just friends for a while as I really get to know them. Then, if the friendship is turning out good for the both of us and I start having deeper feelings than just the friendship bond, that's when I'd start getting romantic
But what if you have neither, really
then you work on building your social life and network@@klappstuhl4370
How funny you think I (or a plurality of the population, really) have access to those
@@RyouShi98 @drtm1718 is saying some wise words. If you can't meet via a friend/family circle then find other ways hobbies, interests, work/education etc. I met my partner through Speeddating.
The point is to make it a human to human interaction. Be yourself and be accepting of others. Take the pressure off and start small with dating, like a coffee or walk in a park. Things will unfold in due time. If it doesn't work then it's experience and you learned more about what you want. If it does work out then enjoy dating and take each step as it comes in it's own time.
These videos confirm this definitely hasn’t happened for me. 30, single and most people I face instead on a daily basis seem horrible. Couples can restore a sense of hope that it’s possible for me but man some days like today I dunno where that hope goes
From most couples I see, I think we're way too better off being single.
😂 .. your not alone!lol.
I should’ve been more specific. I meant couples who are truly happy together. Sometimes watching THEM is helpful. Never having experienced meeting the one often it just doesn’t make much sense. Others rushing into things, putting up a facade, cheating, heartbreaks takes away any regret over staying single all this time especially after finding Psych2Go. This social media age has helped reveal a lot more people for who they really are
@@KeyboardFan326 To me these couples were as lucky as someone who wins the lottery. Not sure it's a healthy perspective to be hopeful we might someday be as lucky as them.
It always comes back my brother in Christ ❤ The hope ALWAYS comes back.
I feel that "The paradox of choice" applies to many things today, TV streaming, music, games, people to talk to etc and I can't help but feel like the more choice I have the less I want it or enjoy it, it's easy to quit and move on to try something else. When I only had 4 TV channels it was really easy and fast to make a decision and be happy with that decision. Same for music, same for games. A simpler life is a good life in many ways but that's just not how the world has become.
Dinner choices when I was a kid were eat it or be hungry.
My first 2 gfs were met through friends and every one since then met through the Internet with each one being increasingly difficult to find because of the choice I had to filter through. I'm married now to someone I met on a dating website and hopefully will stay that way, I would not want to go through all that online dating again and all I really wanted to do was meet someone in person for the first time and hit it off right away but it never happened like that.
The more i become aware... The more i see how dystopian our world is becoming.
Meeting new people in real life is difficult nowadays especially if you're autistic. This almost justifies usage of dating apps not necessarily to date (being in a relationship would be too much for me), but rather to just meet people at all. Approaching a stranger in real life for either this reason or lack thereof is incredibly weird.
You are still braver than me
@@devenmellor She didn't mind, luckily for you
my first crush pretended that she was going to kill herself and sent me a bunch of texts saying that she would do it if I kept talking to her. My first experience with a girl was online during COVID and it ended with us cutting ties after she played on my vulnerability’s for fun. Safe to say I’m perfectly happy being Single for the rest of my life.
@@devenmelloroh how lucky you. I mean.. In my case, I’m pretty sure that the person I like is neurodivergent just like me but even so I still find it hard to approach him 😭 I remember they used to give me alot of non-verbal signs that they wanted to talk to me but I wasn’t sure what they meant so I was confused but I played along anyways.
even now i recently got my classes switched aaand it turns out that they’re in my class so suddenly my feelings have somewhat returned?? though I’m unsure why or if these feelings mean a crush or “I just want to befriend this person”. It also doesn’t help that I’ve noticed them looking at me from another table they were sitting behind me and i think they were trying to approach me when I was walking out of the class?? (and my mind just ignored him because I thought it wasn’t to me)
at this point idk what to do. I don’t really know anyone in that class and out of everyone else I only recognize 2-3 people in that class 😭
@@Windermed I stopped studying in 2020 when I graduated high school, so I don't even go to school anymore. I currently have a passive source of income that does not involve me leaving my house, so you can already guess how many people I actually see in my daily life. Only every so often when I go to the movies with my family I get a glimpse of the people around me, yet no one I should talk to just to abide my moral compass.
There is nothing wrong with having standards and things you are looking for in a relationship because on line dating sites is the worst place to be looking for someone
Honestly, this video just shows us that the ball is mostly in the court of women. Guys on apps rarely have this paradox of choice to the extent women do.
Been single for years, never had a girlfriend. Still a virgin at 29. Everyone i meet either has a ring on there finger or just reject me. But happy i have a good steady job as a hospital porter, i have my own flat and independence, occasionally go to the gym. Maybe go into town for a coffee, that's my life. I also got diagnosed with depression around a month ago due to isolation and loneliness. But my work is great for my wellbeing. I see counselling once a week, and going on anti-depressants soon. At the end of the day, i don't chase. i find it pathetic. This game of cat and mouse gets stale 😞
Ever since high school, I’ve been wanting to date someone. During that time, there were some girls who were crazy. So I couldn’t get with anyone. When I got into college, things took a different turn. I had girls who turned me down into an unfortunate level. I tried using dating apps, but I don’t think it’s worth my time. At this rate, I’m just going to focus on myself and wait until I’m ready.
After my last breakup I took the advice to get therapy. It was extremely helpful. I had been dating anyone that took interest in me. I moved, got a new home and career. Looking back into dating after all this time and it’s not looking all that appealing. I have a goal of meeting someone to build a life with.
I was lucky enough to meet a special girl through our common friends. We haven't been going out for too long yet, but we get along so well and are so alike it's almost scary.
There's just too much narcissism running amok these days it's depressing on its own.
A byproduct of capitalism by design tragically.
Haven't even given the idea of dating again a thought since my marriage crumbled almost 5 years ago. I'm still too scarred from that experience. My ex-wife, on the other hand, pretty much jumped into the dating pool before I even moved out. A major part of why she wanted to call it quits was because she had so many other options she felt she was missing out on something better than me. In the end, all those "likes" on her selfies became too tempting to pass up. We kept things civil after the breakup so we cross paths a lot which is how I know she's still single but she's always low-key boasting about all the prime candidates she has to choose from, though she never commits to any. Mainly because most of those "prime candidates" turn out to be duds but also because she just has so many guys still chasing her, she constantly feels like there's something better out there.
Bro she shouldn’t boast to you about that that’s just messer up
That’s not really that much of an achievement to boast about for modern women in America. All of them have so many options lol. 🤷🏻♂️
@@pointmanschlappey7686 Not just America. We live in the Caribbean. It's everywhere nowadays.
That is a very unhealthy way of looking at this. "I am quite satisfied now, but maybe I can have better people." It's like they are too selfish to commit to someone. They feel like they are so important that they deserve the most perfect partner there is.
Rather, one should be satisfied with their partner as long as the relationship is compatible and never look at more options after they have committed to someone. Just close off the term, "options" after committing. Because now you have a husband/wife and the rest randos or friends. There are no options, since you already chose one.
I feel like this mentality not only makes for a better life after committing to something, but also makes on more loyal and more likely to love and be loved. Which is more important than finding the most perfect person.
You're better off, all she is proving is she is good for bed room activities and nothing more.
It is disgusting to hear, but that's basically what she's done to herself.
Girls did that in my life, their now on the phase where they're starting to regret throwing me away.
They went from being that sweet and innocent Anakin Skywalker, to the vile Darth Vader...
They're more plastic than natural now. Covered with scars and traumas from all the hookups they got into, and their reputation has cost them their friends.
The problems described in the video where theres just an overabundance of choice must not apply to men. At least not average men. All I got from dating apps was deafening silence, and eventually I just gave them up entirely because it did nothing but drain my self esteem. Maybe I am just unreasonably ugly or unattractive, or maybe it's just the app. Regardless, it's nothing but a drain on self esteem.
Can't be desperate when you've given up entirely, right? 26 and still single. Never bothering.
The best description I've heard is that everyone's looking for clean water. Men are in a desert, while women are in a swamp.
@@paulgibbon5991 They willingly sit in a swamp that easily connects to a lake. It's a self-inflicted wound.
I met my wife on a dating site. When we started talking, we discussed life goals, such as when it felt like the right to get married and how many kids we wanted. It was great to know we were on the same page, and it made it less stressful while dating and getting to know each other.
I think too many people are afraid of talking about what they want out of dating. It sucks getting close to someone and then finding out years later that you don't have the same life goals.
People have just gotten too greedy. Their idea of what is "normal" or "average" is skewed in ways most of you wouldn't believe. Everyone's expectations are both far too high, yet not high enough. It's basically over. The system favours the perfect.
I struggle with almost all forms of communication. I'm not great at reading, writing, texting, or even talking alot of the time. I think i make things harder for myself because i dont bring myself to talk to people, i'm surprisingly shy around people if i like them in any way. The one thing i have is that a bunch of people said im attractive, and im a genuine kind person who can sometimes listen and maybe understand enough to help. Now that i write it out, i think my only issues for dating is really my communication skills
My therapist tried doing situations with me to help me get better at helping people through things. But i figured out i found it uncomfortable somehow. I should stop im oversharing now, my bad.
Lol same😅
It's been four years that I've been single since my only serious relationship so far ended. I never used dating apps for exactly the same reasons this video is giving. The few dates I had these last four years, I met them all in real life which is the way I would prefer it. I understand that nowadays you get more dates with online dating than in real life but I'm pretty sure that not using dating apps is incredibly worth it for my mental well-being. I want to fully live my life by doing the things that I love, spend time with my family and friends, meeting new people in social events. And if I end up meeting someone worthwhile along the way, that's a bonus
This video really speaks to me. As a 27yo girl who has yet to enter the dating world because of traumatic childhood and personal introverted personality. I am a little wary of entering the fickle game of dating 😞😞😞
Honestly kinda the say as a 30 year old guy who’s yet to test those waters for the same reasons you listed. The video hit on a lot of good points in going to try and keep in mind if I do decide to give it a try. Though right now I think I’m more focused on my career and leaving my home town to even consider something as crazy as dating.
Too many things to juggle in adult life really
25yo guy here. Had a girlfriend ending highschool and then while in college I dated a couple times but always felt akward or didn't really enjoy it. Most of the times I would do traditional dates (Movies, Dinners, etc) and only dated because society and my surroundings pressured me into doing so.
I guess I never really connected with the girls I went out with and I recently learnt that I enjoy the peace of being on my own a little bit too much. Things like cleaning, going to the gym, running, shopping, driving and cooking seem really relaxing when I'm alone.
Considering this I would advise you two to take it slow, really reflect and take your time about dating and always try to connect with people in real life and not via apps or social media. Also, I really think theres nothing bad in being alone if you are comfortable with it and as long as you are mentally stable and healthy.
21 years old, I have CPTSD from living in an emotionally abusive and absent household, several years of constant bullying in school, and also have never had true friends to call my own. Social media has also completely destroyed my perception of how dating works now, due to stories of gold diggers, cheaters, and people manipulating each other. All things that are very triggering for my CPTSD.
Literally how am I supposed to find anybody in person? I want to do actual activities with somebody, not just speak through text
Also I love the DDLC stuff, Sayori is awesome
Might have to do the activities on your own first. Take classes, try to make friends with the other classmates, and see if any sparks fly with the single people. No sparks? Well at the least you acquired a new skill that will make you more interesting to new strangers and possibly those new friends might introduce you to their single friends. Take a new class and begin the process again. At the very least, you're not holding yourself back from experiencing life just because someone isn't there next to you now.
@@hyperbeast0150 I know, but I'm even having trouble getting back out into the world
Covid absolutely demolished my social life, which as an introvert was already pretty lackluster
@@altermike3197 babysteps, take one thing at a time, i suggest you focus on the activities that makes you feel good. idk what you like, but i really got into card games lately and joined a local store to play and met a lot of new people.
@@altermike3197us introverts should make a club or something.
@@altermike3197 Online stuff can be tempting because it's safe and low-commitment. That can also become an addiction, that stops you from making the push to doing things in real life and staying with the emotional junk food option, while giving you just enough that it doesn't feel worth taking a risk.
I gave up dating and relationships back in 2012. Very hard to find some one who is going to accept me and love me for me. I’m glad to take care of my mental health and protect myself from heartbreak 💔.
I’m 31 and I’ve walked away. Tried dating apps before and it always went nowhere for me. Now I’m just seeking as much happiness as possible by myself
respect 👍
I swear I love this channel for 3 reasons
1. Good information
2. Video game references in the thumbnails
3. Good selected video game for said thumbnail
Omgosh, you're the best!!!
Don't forget the anime references as well xd
Just from first glance I could already recognise Frieren, Spy x Family, and Evangelion
Its not us!!! Its the dating apps!!!!
Take care of myself mentally is what's most important!!!
Thank you, Psych to Go!! Such relevant and needed content!!!❤❤❤
No. It's 100% women specifically. 🤣 Passport Bros are up!!! You'll NEVER hear about a "Passport Gal" ever. What it's NOT is dating apps or social media. It's what women do there. 🙃🫠💀
@@tenderlungs2065
>goes to third world
>finds most hypergamous woman there
>takes her home
>she get visa, you get an std
>she finds someone richer and leaves
Male singledom is no more guys
For sure.....🤣🤣🧢🧢🧢
The app simply gives you more power to do what you want
It’s both. Women have the opportunity of choice and variety of men to pick. You have 3-5s thinking they are 9-10 because they’ve been with many men. So some women tend to get a big head about the men chasing them.
Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you...
Who's this lucky person?
@@Psych2go Just referencing Monika's song ahah
in my hand there's a pen that'll write a poem of me and you
Values, patience, tolerance & honesty. These make or break relationships. Yet people focus too much on the superficial and shallow aspects that really don’t matter.
In what ways is the dating world broken:
Too many choices - The paradox of choice
Superficial connection
Fear of vulnerability
Ending up feeling lonelier
Dating apps nowadays are beyond messed up and contain possible scams. Now, I hate dating apps because they say"free texting" but you have to pay a certain fee to be able to text a person or the potential soulmate. Moreover, I agree with the video because of how they view the modern world and how dating is broken.
Dating apps are designed entirely to extract money from you. Happy long-term relationships are actively discouraged for just this reason.
easy to get money out of the lonely ones by pretending to offer a break from the lonelyness
fr fr@@rabbitdrink
Adapt or be left behind (I was left behind)
Studies are finding Gen Z are increasingly curious about "non-line dating" or the old way of just meeting someone in person without the apps. People adapted, but now reversing course.
All this talk about "paradox of choice" and people burning through partners at incredible speeds and I'm just here after years waiting to get one (1) real (actual person) (who wants to go on a date) match.
Wow whoever made the visuals props to you. Sousou no Frieren fits what she say here so well 2:53
My last relationship was 6 years ago, I am taking care of myself mentally and physically. I am studying and working, I consider myself attractive, I am empathetic, caring and some other good things. I know I want a partner and I am looking using dating apps and meeting people outside the home. Just no one has come along, sometimes I feel like that person I am waiting for in my life is not going to come along....
Take your time
we can be gay togheter ❤
Dating being broken doesn't mean I'm not 🥲
That's part of the reason why at the end of the video we are asked politely not to kill ourselves
"Too much choice" only applies to girls, Chad and Tyronne ❤ 9 and below guys are left alone with their hand 😅
Holy shit its monika from the hitgame ddlc
indeed
Loneliness ends up in two ways you either don't care anymore, you become disbelief and hate it or you binge watch romcoms while eating sugar ( amd internally crying😂)
Yep...
An IMPORTANT factor you have to take into account is the size of the pool of people you are competing against to be in a relationship.
Just 20 years ago you would have been competing against the local town population or members of your sport club while nowadays social media put you in comparison with the entire world, making average men and women (but especially men) invisible to the other gender. People are not even seen as viable options since social media gives the impression that there are lots of exceptional people out there.
I just have so many choices! Woe is me 😭This world is so unfair!
I'm not broken but I'm more unstable then a nature valley bar
I was literally WAITING for this to come up.....thank you.❤
SO glad to hear this! Hope this video helps you :)
Totally agreed!!! Now modern dating has warped our perception of what we expect in a partner...
Think about this for a moment. Who would air their dirty laundry? So the negative aspect of a relationship and how to handle them will never come to light... this warped perception of a perfect relationship is causing many to expect too much from their dates and this causes much toxicity in the relationship..
Personally, I've not tried modern dating before but this is what I think would happen. From my observation of social media... 😂❤
Sigh, my dating app experience isn't like this at all. If anything, it's the lack of choice that brings me down and bums me out
My friend and I had gone through two to three relationships and both of us were heartbroken when we were both broken up in just a matter of time. My friend is still trying to recover from a girl that was so close to him now just cheated on him. I really don't do online dating anymore and am now approaching dating very differently.
This is one of the reasons i gave up
when you're not a 10/10, not straight and is also neurodivergent the difficulty that this stuff already has becomes impossible
lol I feel exactly the opposite. "Everyone on this app is queer and 'neurodivergent' and I am a boring straight person, no one likes me."
I think it’s a mixture based on what you’re trying to look for, because I disagree.
As a straight woman, it’s harder because straight men are less likely to try or really make an effort to create a good impression. I’m not a 10/10 but I’ve been called beautiful and pretty numerous times but by people I’m not always attracted to, and one date I went on revealed the guy hadn’t updated any info, looked a lot different and didn’t take his ADHD meds so I wasn’t sure how to interact with him.
Now my gay brother didn’t have a dandy time either and actually came across a lot of psychos, so it ain’t pretty for anyone, and it’s hard to filter out the right ones.
Yeah especially in gen z, so many nerudivergent
Being a straight person is very difficult but also finding someone in the extended communities im gonna call it, who's not mentally damaged and I do mean that specifically, is very difficult
Granted I was looking at Feeld, so maybe look at specialized apps that will have more queer people on them.
Thank you for this, this has been my life the last few years, which has contributed to severe lonliness and suicidal thoughts.
What works for me is to think of apps as one tool to meet people and go on dates and not the end all be all of dating. I also take breaks. I’ve met people outside of the apps too and that didn’t mean I had a better experience or outcome.
2:57 beyond the journey's end
AYYEE
2:28 DDLC reference
5:08 Evangelion reference
Always love finding the easter eggs guys, godspeed.
think i saw frieren at 3:00 a great currently running anime
Omg u noticed them - the animator
Yes ! People are guilty of making up their minds right away. Nobody wants to take their time to get to know anyone.
It takes time. I would say work more on yourself Learn a new hobby. Anything that makes you leave the house for example like yoga class. But you have to have a reason to do it for your benefit. I want to do yoga classes for my body's flexibility and to relax. And now you're around people at the class. And it's not to find a date. It's for your own happiness and health and enjoyment and once you get that down people will come to you that match you. And when I mean time I mean this will be years down the road. Cuz if you do small even mundane things they lead to extraordinary events in your life. Do you have to start focusing on the present. But your past prevents you from making the same mistake. Don't worry try your best to improve.
I was in a purely online relationship for about ten months recently.
I Don’t know anything about them. I don’t know their real name, face, voice, hell I didn’t even know their age.
We sort of were just happy-go lucky for a while.
At some point, they randomly started ghosting me, they did it for about two months.
After that time passed, I finally decided to message them, telling them they can talk to me whenever they feel like it, since its been a while.
All they said is a vague and cryptic “I’ve gotten over you.”
And then they blocked me, we haven’t spoken since.
I had just about given up on dating apps and even dating itself, but I got a message from a girl one day and she didn't ghost me, she didn't tell me I lived too far away, she didn't tell me I wasn't earning enough for her, she didn't tell me I wasn't good enough looking for her, she didn't tell me my social awkwardness was a turn off, she didn't tell me my past was too much for her... she loved me and now I finally have someone to call my own. I didn't think it would be possible but it is.
I absolutely abhor dating. It’s a excruciating experience that I decided to opt out of. Nothing ever good comes from it. I either get ghosted or flat out rejected. I’m used to being left on read or people ignoring me. I don’t see any hope for my love life so I’m abandoning it. I’m focusing on me and I plan to stay single for the rest of my life. I’m 27, so might seem young but I don’t care. I’d rather have peace of mind rather than worrying if a girl likes me or if I’m just a means to an end.
Same for me, espacily Online Dating was a complet waiste of time and incredible toxic for my mental health. Rather focusing on things that are actually fun and benefit me, like hitting the gym, learing a new skill like drawing, music or language.
Im already used to be alone, a partner to share things with would have been nice, but anything else seams much easiyer then finding a partner for life.
@@traductus3337 yeah. Basically the gym has become almost religious for me at this point. It’s all I care about. Only negative thing about it are the people. I don’t want to perceived while I’m working out, yet people tend to want to talk or look my way. I don’t like that.
Dating apps are literally my only option to find someone, I don't go out to places/events where there's a chance to meet women. But if these apps are making things worse, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to die alone 😞
MeetUp - find something that you are interested in and go from there
What I struggled with, personally, was that even though it was handy during Covid, I find now that dating apps wouldn’t have the person I would want. I know deep down someone who’d want me shouldn’t look on a dating app because I’m not on them.
I also found that, now that givid isn’t as intense at it was, a great deal of people have ditched dating apps and the only people still on them are mostly people looking for quick satisfaction, or don’t know how to date or aren’t even interested in trying.
I’d much rather meet someone in person, it’s just the matter of breaking past the initial acquaintance barrier to become friends or ask someone on a date.
Hey! Any advice on where to meet more geniune people? Because I like very specific type of person (and I only care in terms of personality), I just don't know where to look for them. I really can't trust my family and my social life really lacks the presence of females.
I haven't tried any dating app yet, I am keeping it for when I don't have any other options. And, I won't go into dating right now at the moment. But, I want to know where I should look. Any advice on that?
@@LordNNero oh yeah that’s rough, about the family thing. I have a lot of male cousins but my brother is gay, and I spent a good deal of my time around him and his friends (introvert life am I right lol) who were mostly female and gay or toxic, and and any straight guys were not my type or cynical.
Personally I had to really take a step away from that atmosphere so I applaud you for acknowledging your situation and doing the same.
Otherwise, What I found recently, and I know it’s annoying to hear, it is the tried and true “putting yourself out there” method however, it’s specifically putting yourself in places of YOUR interests or potential interests.
What is something you’ve thought of trying but haven’t? Or something you’re curious about? Even if you try and you’re like “meh this isn’t me,” you’re still putting yourself in positions where you could potentially meet people.
For me I recently got into skiing and to some it might be daunting to do on your own, but both times I went solo this year I’ve had more random conversations with strangers that I hadn’t initiated, a solid few being potential dates or friends. Nothing necessarily came out of them (which is fine) since it was a short interaction and I’m still getting comfortable with talking to people in person, but the confidence boost is ungodly and puts a new perspective on how I perceive people in real life.
Long story short: don’t think so much on “where could I find someone?”and think more of “what can I do outside the house or work that’s fun for me?” And bonus points if you do so on your own. When you find something, really try to enjoy it and linger in what the activity is, even if it’s simply going for a walk or seeing a movie by yourself. You’re not a loser or lame, you’re treating yourself, doing something you want to do, and making an effort.
@@LordNNero I know it’s not what people want to hear, (trust me I didn’t like hearing it either) but it really is “putting yourself out there,” BUT no one ever tells you what that means or how. Its not so much “where could I find someone,” and more “what can I do that’s fun for me?”
Recently I got into skiing and although I originally went with other people, this year I’ve gone solely by myself and I’ve had more conversations with random strangers than I ever have, and without me even initiating them. And although I wasn’t specifically trying to look for someone to date, some potential people did come into my radar. Now although nothing happened with those people, it was really cool talking to them and it’s still part of the process. Next is just breaching the barrier between acquaintance to friends.
So, try to find something that YOU like to do outside of the house. And bonus points if you do it alone. Has there been anything you’ve thought about trying, or have you gotten an urge to do something but never had anyone to go with? Don’t wait for a friend or someone, go to that restaurant you want to try, or go to a movie by yourself. Even if it’s an activity that you realize isn’t for you afterward, you can pat yourself on the back for placing yourself in a position to be found and seen. try to keep your head up, and learn how to make eye contact even if brief. It tells potential people that “yeah I’m alone, I’m confident, and available.”
There was nothing more deterring being with a male friend of mine and knowing that anyone who thought I was cute wouldn’t approach because that friend was thought to be my bf. Think about it, you’ve probably thought that too about people you’ve seen when you’ve gone to places. It’s the same for you and their end. Its a process, but doing something you like to do that’s in line with your interests will bring those people to you that also enjoy it, and within that just might be someone 💪
@@LordNNero I have tried three times to reply so I’ll try again lol
What I recommend isn’t so much “where could I find someone,” and more “what can I do that’s fun for ME.”
It really is putting yourself out there but no one explains how. I find it’s actively doing things you wanted to try or doing things you like to do by yourself, even something as simple as going for a walk or checking out a pub by yourself.
When you actively put yourself in a position to be seen, and are open to interacting, it shows others that you’re confident and you’re doing what you like. People who are similar will be drawn to you, even if you don’t expect anything out of it.
I can explain in more depth later but I just want to make sure this comment will post
Nice video! 👍🏻 I used to be very nihilistic about this subject, but now I can feel the winds of change
thank you for spreading awareness on this subject ❤
Thank you so much for the awesome video, Psych2go! ❤
Thank you for watching early!
I’m serious when I say that I’ve literally had more luck finding partners from getting to know people on social media outside of dating apps without the initial intention of dating them but falling in love over time
Like just on Instagram or something?
Luck in finding partners but no luck in keeping just one?
She belongs to tha streets.
Time is indeed the key to making relationships and the connection work. However, that is also what causes so many attempts to fail. With the pace that so many people now live and the shorter and shorter attention spans, less and less people will take the time to make connections with you whether they are romantic or platonic.
I myself have many times over put the time in with someone, let things happen naturally only for them to suddenly be dating some new person that you have never heard of in your months of hanging out etc. And in many of those cases even any platonic connection that was in the works get severed as a result.
In recent years I have completely ceased use of dating apps, and instead have become comfortable being single and plan on waiting until I meet someone more naturally who lives at the slower pace of yesteryear that I still do.
Beyond dating apps, I believe social media in general, since its inception, has eroded realistic ideas around social connections in general, but especially romantic ideals.
the presenter and her voice are direct and clear, I like it, it feels conducive to the content
As I got older, the dating world has gotten more and more complicated. I didn't know what situationships were until I was 28. I'm 30 right now. I've had a decent amount of dates through online dating, but not as much when I meet someone in person due to me being an introvert. I think the closest I got into a relationship with was with a religious person. I'm not religious myself, but she is. We got along well, enjoyed the dates we've had, but to her, the biggest barrier was that we're not the same religion and she's devoted to hers nor she wanted to try to force it onto me because she liked me the way I was. I don't bash on other people's religion unless they try to force it onto me. She thought she could get over the fact that we have different religious beliefs as we date, but it bothered her too much. I was a bit sad that we had to end it, but it's for the best. I didn't want her to change herself just because she was dating me because I liked her for her, but it was better for us to end it and for her to find a partner that has the same beliefs as her.
The perfect person for you is not someone you "felt a spark" for, but the person who becomes your best friend. I mean look at it this way, do you want to be with someone who you share the highest highs with, but also experience your lowest lows from? It is better to live with the person who will not beat you when you are down, who always has your back, who you can complain to? Who will relent if you haveva fight and don't want it? You want to be married to your best friend. Trust me as someone in my 40s.
Talk to modern women majority of them refuse to date their best friend
@@keonhobgood1551 then don't date those weirdos
😂
The problem is not having options, it's a good thing, even healthy. The problem is that so many people, especially men, don't know how to cultivate these connections, don't do the very least it'd be needed to nurture a bond. After months or years of it, people who want and know how to properly connect with others may feel discouraged and frustrated in the dating world. I'm also under the impression that people are kind of cynical with romantic feelings. Everyone is trying not to "show too much", "be fooled", "have a heartbreak" and to procted themselves they end up blocking more meaningful relationships with others.
we incels are right,women are the judges of a man worth in this society,making dating almost impossible for young men.
Here are some reasons why dating is impossible for young men feel free to dispute me:
There are more men than womeb specially below 40
More female asexuals than male asexuals
Women are much more picky,choosy,judgy specially in dating
Women They are much content alone than men, due in part to the little society punishment that single women have,single men suffer humiliation, degradation and displacement specially virgin men
Virgin men are unattractive to most women
Short guys(5'6 and below)are unattractive to almost all women
Men have to do the approach
Women have much lower sex drive than men and are more harder to arouse.
We are right in almost every point yet people like to lie.
Men are in the most risky jobs and also more men die in much more numbers and also die younger wtf,and women tell themaelves they are the ones that are opressed If ER had been a woman I am 100% sure wouldn't have a any problem having a partner, women have it so easy its infuriating 😡😡😡😡
The thing is, men don't have "so many options". Women are completely ignorant to a man's experience on dating apps. As a man, you have to hold back, because when you haven't touched a woman in years you get desperate and scare them away.
As a non-binary person that doesnt trust online dating sites, dont go to bars, and finished school, i dont even know how I would find love. This has left me a 33 uear old person with not 1 romantic experience. Maybe one day
Not trying to be mean, truly, but I would start by ditching the non-binary label. It's just not real, or at least it's not real to me and the majority of society. I found that my attempts to stand out and be different have just led me to outcast myself unknowingly. When I integrated myself better into society, people gave me a chance more often while I could still retain what made me myself. Chin up, put yourself out there and thrive. We're all gonna make it brah 💪
@@boristheviewbot6056 100%
I just literally got done ranting about this!!! Thank you!!!!!
I swipe right 100% of the time and never get a single match, the problem is not "too many options"
The "too many options" problem only exists for women on dating apps. Study after study conducted on platforms like Tinder show that women there see 80%+ of men as "below average".