I read ninja's terrible new book

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  • Опубликовано: 5 окт 2019
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Комментарии • 16 тыс.

  • @Pyrocynical
    @Pyrocynical  4 года назад +11295

    Install Raid for Free ✅ IOS: bit.ly/Pyrocynical_iOS ✅ ANDROID: bit.ly/Pyrocynical_Android and get a special starter pack 💥 Available only in the next 30 days
    wow look at all these emojis very hip 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

  • @mikk1066
    @mikk1066 4 года назад +5924

    0:30
    "Can I buy this please?"
    Cashier: "No"
    *video ends*

  • @MJRaymond
    @MJRaymond 4 года назад +5183

    Ninja's book: step 6 "grow up"
    Ninja: "I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess"

    • @zidani.s6712
      @zidani.s6712 4 года назад +15

      69 likes

    • @someonetgg
      @someonetgg 4 года назад +94

      Okay, this comment is actually original.

    • @IIHaseOII
      @IIHaseOII 4 года назад +90

      "The FUCK did you say to me you little shit!?"

    • @MadCrafter360
      @MadCrafter360 3 года назад +18

      Your name...it reeks of familiarity...

    • @ab-bq9ub
      @ab-bq9ub 3 года назад +31

      Ironic.
      He could save others from not growing up, but not himself.

  • @lonecolamarine
    @lonecolamarine 3 года назад +3123

    "I'm no longer a 25 year old virgin! - Thanks sis, I love you."
    *Waaaait a second....*

  • @silentstrings1896
    @silentstrings1896 3 года назад +693

    "most gamers rely on electricity"
    I play Solitaire all day with my mates, Tyler Blevins is a liar

    • @abandonedchannel1010
      @abandonedchannel1010 2 года назад +9

      Not all gamers rely on electricity

    • @chryst4l926
      @chryst4l926 2 года назад +13

      Do you know what "most" means?
      Tyler ninja fortnite blevins is no liar

    • @Dr_Samuel_Hayden
      @Dr_Samuel_Hayden Год назад +1

      @@chryst4l926 r/wooooosh

    • @historicflame972
      @historicflame972 Год назад +10

      @@Dr_Samuel_Hayden No I think you're the woosh

    • @Dr_Samuel_Hayden
      @Dr_Samuel_Hayden Год назад +5

      @@historicflame972 SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT
      im gonna go kms lmao

  • @bubblebass8498
    @bubblebass8498 4 года назад +2627

    Pyro: "I never get sponsorships"
    Also Pyro: "HaVE yOU heArD oF RAiD ShAdOw LeGEnDs"

  • @Benjuicyy
    @Benjuicyy 4 года назад +2637

    Pyro: "We all know skeletons have no rights"
    *And that's why they all hide in an armor of meat*

    • @johnnylee5226
      @johnnylee5226 4 года назад +8

      Here before 1k likes

    • @alfredogravy
      @alfredogravy 4 года назад +37

      Ah...I see you're also an intellectual

    • @nick-sr2zo
      @nick-sr2zo 4 года назад +3

      pyro 2019

    • @darthnader5745
      @darthnader5745 4 года назад +3

      Tonight at 3AM: heya, you were talking trash about skeletons, so I'ma give you a bad time

    • @isaacmoraesdornelasdesouza3314
      @isaacmoraesdornelasdesouza3314 4 года назад +9

      Actually the brain has no rights so it hides in a skeleton of armour which hides in a skeleton of meat.

  • @NathanTheMan
    @NathanTheMan 3 года назад +844

    “Why are rich people the most disconnected from reality”
    Mr Beast isn’t even in the same dimension

    • @juliethefoxcoon
      @juliethefoxcoon 3 года назад +5

      LMAOOOO

    • @EuanWhitehead
      @EuanWhitehead 3 года назад +33

      What do you think these people would do if they lost all their money and had to live in a one up one down living off 200 quid a week.

    • @namelol.mp4561
      @namelol.mp4561 3 года назад +19

      @@EuanWhitehead Probably struggle

    • @reboundrides8132
      @reboundrides8132 3 года назад +16

      @@EuanWhitehead they would probably be like the billions of other people in that situation

    • @EuanWhitehead
      @EuanWhitehead 3 года назад +9

      @@reboundrides8132 Yea I was more thinking of the earth shattering comedown of once being a millionaire to having to lead a normal life.

  • @giocosovelasco
    @giocosovelasco 2 года назад +87

    "I finally got to show my skills to the girl of my dreams! She was so impressed, she took me on the spot! I'm no longer a 25 year old virgin! Thanks sis, i love you!"
    That comment had more plot twists than the whole film industry

  • @djdonkeydong133
    @djdonkeydong133 4 года назад +12125

    RUclips algorithm: sees the word ninja was used*
    Trending for gaming*

    • @somedood07
      @somedood07 4 года назад +104

      both your name and picture are perfect

    • @yarek549
      @yarek549 4 года назад +49

      heyy u got the same pf as me

    • @Quackenson
      @Quackenson 4 года назад +3

      #5 baybeee

    • @cumeyesteve8406
      @cumeyesteve8406 4 года назад +1

      Why do video game companies keep sponsoring people and not making them anything in game. Like if it was a foot ball team they would atlest at the logo.... Kinda shady.

    • @willwym
      @willwym 4 года назад

      Da Bois got 369mill subs👌

  • @DolanDark
    @DolanDark 4 года назад +11185

    Is this book just a bible for gamers

    • @tiack7838
      @tiack7838 4 года назад +69

      Oh yeah

    • @geendrip
      @geendrip 4 года назад +19

      Ye boi

    • @dylanm5564
      @dylanm5564 4 года назад +80

      Hahahahha you didnt get hearted hahaha.i. want to die

    • @revision2406
      @revision2406 4 года назад +6

      Derlan derk

    • @honkush
      @honkush 4 года назад +6

      Hey Dolan
      , what are you doing here

  • @yeetmachine1406
    @yeetmachine1406 3 года назад +445

    I just watched a guy read a book and make it interesting for 20 minutes

    • @crunchylettuce5446
      @crunchylettuce5446 3 года назад +15

      Most books are interesting tho, depending on your tastes

  • @muhamedjukic9962
    @muhamedjukic9962 3 года назад +855

    Raid ad ends at: 2:55 thank me later

  • @david123883
    @david123883 4 года назад +3638

    Pyro: *monetized and trending*
    Hmm must be a glitch

    • @MaxKing10
      @MaxKing10 4 года назад +35

      cause its about ninja and fortnite

    • @thatsjosh2u
      @thatsjosh2u 4 года назад +7

      My Faded Sanity HES MONETIZED FOR ONCE SHHH

    • @chrysler238
      @chrysler238 4 года назад +1

      Team Fortress 2 😂😂😂

    • @stefanmadethen5359
      @stefanmadethen5359 4 года назад +6

      @@MaxKing10 fortnite - rarely advertises (unless it's the new season)
      world of tanks - heavily advertises, along with world of warships
      ??????

    • @despicablyawesome
      @despicablyawesome 4 года назад +1

      trending in gaming, at that

  • @nightrocc3997
    @nightrocc3997 4 года назад +5214

    Pyro: gets sponsored
    Also Pyro: Insults his viewers while advertising

    • @sawyer7256
      @sawyer7256 4 года назад +289

      we insult him so it's only fair

    • @DeusJudexMeusEst
      @DeusJudexMeusEst 4 года назад +90

      "what are you waiting for you disgusting filt"

    • @sanssoucilucci
      @sanssoucilucci 4 года назад +4

      Anidan filt

    • @khazhusky
      @khazhusky 4 года назад +8

      Is your pic literally Grade A's head colored Grey?

    • @twiggiermango
      @twiggiermango 4 года назад +1

      Sup night rocc

  • @shrimpfry880
    @shrimpfry880 3 года назад +304

    "DPI doesn't matter"
    Osu Mouse players: so that was a fuckin' lie

  • @akunakun123
    @akunakun123 3 года назад +230

    9:32 proof that pyro groomed ninja

    • @pyroxide8442
      @pyroxide8442 3 года назад +10

      You do know the allegations were false right

    • @akunakun123
      @akunakun123 3 года назад +44

      @@pyroxide8442 i know

    • @pyroxide8442
      @pyroxide8442 3 года назад +7

      @@akunakun123 cool

    • @zuikerou7625
      @zuikerou7625 2 года назад +2

      @@pyroxide8442 I don’t care if I’m late but the comment you were replying too it’s was a joke and you thinking he thought pyrocynical was a groomer “which of course he isn’t” but the comment was a joke… it’s didn’t mean so seriousness or what so matter and yes I do find you’re comment because you think the person called pyrocynical a groomer even tho he made a comment joking of pyro groom ninja and maybe you will realize it was a joke

    • @zuikerou7625
      @zuikerou7625 2 года назад

      @Nikos Mavroforos I agree… sorry I just found about this comment (not yours) I meant the person who don’t know the joke and yeah I get you were saying and there many more comments out there that they don’t get the joke or including me 😅

  • @consicedisc6961
    @consicedisc6961 4 года назад +4396

    i like how the exercises were just pyro doing club penguin dances

  • @jerrydowling4329
    @jerrydowling4329 4 года назад +1008

    "I watch Pyro for the plot"
    7:22

  • @yuga5075
    @yuga5075 3 года назад +10

    15:19 when it cuts to the logan paul apology lmao

  • @ThatOneGuyWhoTalks2Much
    @ThatOneGuyWhoTalks2Much 3 года назад +20

    10:58 I do actually get compliments for being good but way less than kids calling me an aimbotter lol.

  • @SethColby69
    @SethColby69 4 года назад +3357

    pyro : "Download raid shadow legends it's one of my favorite mobile games"
    video ends
    also pyro : deletes app

    • @chf.j4233
      @chf.j4233 4 года назад +14

      Sellout

    • @Joe-hl2ts
      @Joe-hl2ts 4 года назад +252

      @@chf.j4233 he's just making money lay off

    • @112523
      @112523 4 года назад +118

      i have honestly played it for about 2 months tho
      and its not a bad game. too bad the devs think shoving tons of microtransactions in your face whenever you launch it tho.
      wich makes the game worse then it is

    • @112523
      @112523 4 года назад +54

      and one thing to add to that. the advertised customisation of heroes is shown in a false way.
      you can give them gear but nothing about their looks will change. its just stats
      wich is too bad cuz this game could potentially be pretty damn good

    • @jakob-__-
      @jakob-__- 4 года назад +48

      Chf.J you do understand this is his job right, he just got his outro song copyrighted and lost a bunch of money, he still needs to live, 3head

  • @JaegarX
    @JaegarX 4 года назад +1942

    "8GB of ram is all you'll ever need"
    I've never felt this offended before.

    • @easilyjoe
      @easilyjoe 4 года назад +154

      YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH RAM (which is actually true)

    • @EnderPlayerTV
      @EnderPlayerTV 4 года назад +31

      For competetive games it's true though.

    • @easilyjoe
      @easilyjoe 4 года назад +11

      @@notlNSIGHT yes you are correct

    • @cake2531
      @cake2531 4 года назад +19

      I prefer to have more than just the game I'm playing open (maybe music in the background in a web browser or something)

    • @theRealChadWarden42069
      @theRealChadWarden42069 4 года назад +65

      2TB is the minimum

  • @samnesium2003
    @samnesium2003 3 года назад +71

    I swear to god I was about to die laughing when pyro did the shoulder exercises at 7:17 😂

  • @beanis1932
    @beanis1932 3 года назад +27

    Bruh Ninja doesn't know sh*t about computers and hardware

  • @cormalan9894
    @cormalan9894 4 года назад +5665

    This has to be pyro’s quickest million views ever- he’ll definitely be talking about ninja again

    • @doodlebub
      @doodlebub 4 года назад +60

      CormAlan IB4 this video gets copyright striked by ninja lol

    • @huangminghui4011
      @huangminghui4011 4 года назад +6

      lmao not petscop 2 tho

    • @fryyzs
      @fryyzs 4 года назад +21

      I'm glad he's going back to bullying

    • @w7r443
      @w7r443 4 года назад +6

      @@doodlebub Doesn't matter, the video is sponsored

    • @whitealliance9540
      @whitealliance9540 4 года назад +3

      Damn. Sad that all you got from the vid is his money making aspect.

  • @ckdkskdhchdhanansh
    @ckdkskdhchdhanansh 4 года назад +2795

    God: “let there be light!” “ *but first a word from our sponsors raid shadow legends* “

    • @futuf2265
      @futuf2265 4 года назад +63

      Before I leave a comment here let's talk about today's sponsor, Raid: Shadow Legends. Raid: Shadow legends is the most ambitious RPG of 2019, click the link in the description to gain 50.000 silver, what are you waiting for?

    • @estheay3611
      @estheay3611 4 года назад +34

      Mr F before I reply to your comment, let’s talk about today’s sponsor, Raid: Shadow Legends. Forget everything you know about mobile RPGs,

    • @projektgeronimo2696
      @projektgeronimo2696 4 года назад +25

      Before liking your comment, let me about Raid Shadow Legends. It's the only RPG game you ever need.

    • @lauriestern3436
      @lauriestern3436 4 года назад +20

      @@projektgeronimo2696 I love your comment but before I tell you what I like about it let me tell you first about R A I D S H A D O W L E G E N D S

    • @michellebautista6625
      @michellebautista6625 4 года назад +11

      Before I reply with a totally original comment, let me talk about 𝓡𝓐𝓘𝓓 𝓢𝓗𝓐𝓓𝓞𝓦 𝓛𝓔𝓖𝓔𝓝𝓓𝓢

  • @johnsonsarah2983
    @johnsonsarah2983 3 года назад +23

    "There's nothing worse than knowing you lost a game because your equipment failed you" I've been through that once and there's a hole on my dry wall

  • @ImBored8141
    @ImBored8141 Год назад +7

    “Don’t stream”
    -Pyro
    Aged well

  • @peaches3515
    @peaches3515 4 года назад +9729

    i’m convinced that the 5 million downloads are just the youtubers who get sponsored to promote raid

    • @blankd5179
      @blankd5179 4 года назад +421

      Raid saving all the youtubers careers

    • @infinity_5157
      @infinity_5157 4 года назад +55

      The game is pretty good tho

    • @blankd5179
      @blankd5179 4 года назад +620

      @@infinity_5157 your sponsored by raid arent you no one would say that willingly

    • @Ben-xz3bo
      @Ben-xz3bo 4 года назад +150

      Young_Nut Busta it’s shit it has no skill involved

    • @Davtwan
      @Davtwan 4 года назад +154

      Not Today - I’m convinced that a lot of them thought it was good at first until they hit their first roadblock that would either require a lot of dedication or a lot of cash. It’s the classic Gacha trap. They make it appealing and relaxing for the first 10-15% of the game, then players hit their first major obstacle due to struggling in whatever place has the new tier of resources they need to advance to the next milestone.

  • @EggnogRaptor
    @EggnogRaptor 4 года назад +2168

    "8 GB is all the RAM you'll ever need."
    *laughs in modded minecraft*

  • @Senkei231
    @Senkei231 2 года назад +29

    You cant lie the fact that pyro does skits for his sponsors is smart it keeps you looking instead of skipping it

  • @Flame-rp6yq
    @Flame-rp6yq 3 года назад +11

    "talk about the current president"
    Americans: *already at your doorstep with pitchforks and torches like its 1693*

  • @dstarsdstar7957
    @dstarsdstar7957 4 года назад +1492

    I love how he calls him ‘Fortnite Ninja’

    • @AdamG1983
      @AdamG1983 4 года назад +105

      Well it's accurate. He's not a real ninja. Just another dyed-hair soy boy

    • @Geoform187
      @Geoform187 4 года назад +102

      His full name (forename and surname) is now Tyler "Fortnite Ninja" Blevins. No take backs.

    • @SM1TT3
      @SM1TT3 4 года назад +11

      Fortnite ninja is the only real God we have.

    • @valeriygold
      @valeriygold 4 года назад +13

      Soda poppin

    • @alogicalgirloncesaid5140
      @alogicalgirloncesaid5140 4 года назад +2

      いいえ

  • @tpgfm
    @tpgfm 4 года назад +3639

    I am 100 percent sure that Ninja has never read a book in his life

    • @zenstah6888
      @zenstah6888 4 года назад +109

      How do you think he studied for the 8th grade exam from last year? He's a very good boy at school

    • @Smug924
      @Smug924 4 года назад +30

      Ricedward did you not get his comment? He was clearly mocking ninja and not defending him

    • @himawari3688
      @himawari3688 4 года назад +1

      @@eetu54 r/woosh

    • @demkikun7783
      @demkikun7783 4 года назад

      @@eetu54 :(

    • @neonmangoz
      @neonmangoz 4 года назад +26

      @@eetu54 You're a FilthyFrank fan, how the fuck can you not understand this basic-ass humor?

  • @jarcophagus
    @jarcophagus 2 года назад +9

    This book feels like it’s an instruction manual on how to get called a bunch of slurs online.

  • @Jequetepeq
    @Jequetepeq 3 года назад +11

    16:04 Let's face it, gaming can get a bad reputation, Chances are you've heard something about how gaming makes you (ad plays) cheetos flaming hot

  • @jessthebenjamin758
    @jessthebenjamin758 4 года назад +2423

    I tried to skip your Raid Shadow Legends ad, and as a reward, RUclips gave me a Raid Shadow Legends ad. I’m gonna go toster bath now.

    • @Magst3r1
      @Magst3r1 4 года назад +13

      did yuo do it.

    • @jessthebenjamin758
      @jessthebenjamin758 4 года назад +80

      Magst3r yup, hell is great by the way. Eternal torment is actually alot more fun than you’d think.

    • @eagletgriff
      @eagletgriff 3 года назад +19

      @@jessthebenjamin758 speaking from personal experience?

    • @jbash0824
      @jbash0824 3 года назад +4

      hyijjkuerhjkuiwhwg67yreukhfsudyrukejt7iyruyrjowiu

    • @keira-renee
      @keira-renee 3 года назад +7

      jbash08 okay

  • @humongousbrainman5920
    @humongousbrainman5920 4 года назад +970

    When ninja beats a kid up and throws him down the stairs
    “GET GOOd kheD”

  • @gkoonie
    @gkoonie 11 месяцев назад +4

    Sponsor ends at 2:55

  • @bigj7864
    @bigj7864 3 года назад +6

    "25 hours a day"
    - Pyrocynical

  • @ZanderPanda88
    @ZanderPanda88 4 года назад +764

    Pyro: *Uses four phones for an ad*
    Also Pyro: *Owns zero cars*

    • @pkheretic1945
      @pkheretic1945 4 года назад +17

      Tbf cars are way to expensive to keep and considering he lives in London he don’t need one

    • @KaiserDaChoom
      @KaiserDaChoom 4 года назад +5

      @@FatfighterXD1 yea sames in australia, if you live in sydney or any main city you dont need a car because theres like a thousands buses, but if you live anywhere outside the boundaries of a city a car is needed because the distance between suburbs and other cities is big

    • @DownloadsPassion
      @DownloadsPassion 4 года назад +4

      Juan Cortez Muro fuck off bitch

    • @wannabeproductors5166
      @wannabeproductors5166 4 года назад

      Alexander Papadopoulos well the phones cost like 2 dollars so

    • @bazookajoe200
      @bazookajoe200 4 года назад

      bro, phones are no where near as expensive as cars

  • @mariecakeantoinette437
    @mariecakeantoinette437 4 года назад +1438

    Pyrocynical: *Has four phones*
    Also Pyrocynical: *Still has no car*

    • @FH4Player6397
      @FH4Player6397 4 года назад +86

      Still no petscop 2

    • @Hallwo_333
      @Hallwo_333 4 года назад +6

      Priorities

    • @austonmiller5728
      @austonmiller5728 4 года назад +9

      Pyro: has four phones
      Also pyro: still hasn't made petscop 2

    • @pineapple7024
      @pineapple7024 4 года назад

      Randy Marsh
      He pays for public transit, you silly sausage

    • @igbinedion6410
      @igbinedion6410 4 года назад +4

      @@pineapple7024 sausage can mean many things
      be careful

  • @cheeseman8316
    @cheeseman8316 3 года назад +77

    Pyro smelling fat furry farts 3:01

    • @jazy3193
      @jazy3193 3 года назад

      LOL

    • @thejefrisp8010
      @thejefrisp8010 3 года назад +2

      I usually don't like comments like these but that actually made me 😂

    • @Superstar5_
      @Superstar5_ 3 года назад +1

      Can we please stop before this gets passè?

  • @romanulvasi
    @romanulvasi 3 года назад +3

    How I stay hungry:I dont eat

  • @bruhmoment3536
    @bruhmoment3536 4 года назад +1205

    "Time to overuse this joke!"
    *The CEO of gay (TM) 3019*

    • @robertsmalls2293
      @robertsmalls2293 4 года назад +25

      Excuse me sir, I’m a lawyer commenting from the year 3019, and I represent the interests of Gay (TM) and because you neglected to use the trademark (TM) in Gay (TM) your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandchildren are now being sued for your negligence. Good day, and please be more mindful of the law.

    • @albinozebra276
      @albinozebra276 4 года назад +4

      gay is good, all the time.

    • @flavor289
      @flavor289 4 года назад +5

      all the time, gay is good.

    • @Rex-ru5ns
      @Rex-ru5ns 4 года назад +1

      RUclips: I’m about to demodetize this mans career

    • @theflano23
      @theflano23 4 года назад

      @@flavor289 gay the time, all is good.

  • @sugasnaps
    @sugasnaps 4 года назад +639

    "Ninja's brand-new novel: A Gamer's Manifesto" dramatic reading by a lesbian with daddy issues

    • @mattsboringlife8346
      @mattsboringlife8346 4 года назад +16

      sugasnaps
      “Lesbian with daddy issues” nice

    • @prod.shammy3292
      @prod.shammy3292 4 года назад +1

      He does look like one ngl

    • @koltjay1701
      @koltjay1701 4 года назад +1

      Yeah before I clicked on the vid I thought it was a lesbian at first until I heard his voice ngl

    • @sselfless
      @sselfless 4 года назад +1

      roasty toasted

    • @rewindoffical5280
      @rewindoffical5280 4 года назад +1

      UrMomGey no u

  • @notausername69
    @notausername69 3 года назад +9

    I love when youtubers sarcastically promote their sponsors, it's like they get the money and not sell out at the same time

  • @gddiggy3828
    @gddiggy3828 3 года назад +18

    "Plays Cyberpunk once..."
    I guess I'll know how to blow up in more ways than one huh?

  • @harold642
    @harold642 4 года назад +1311

    Pyro: These kids play video games 25 hours a day.
    Harvard university: Write that down

    • @jacket2425
      @jacket2425 4 года назад +19

      No, *WRITE THAT DOWN!!!! WRITE THAT DOWN!!!!!!*

    • @superstargames9908
      @superstargames9908 4 года назад +3

      No No no, he's got a point

  • @scrimblo5845
    @scrimblo5845 4 года назад +1150

    When I heard “how I stay hungry” I thought he meant literal hunger and was trying to explain how he manages to eat 5000 calories in every stream

    • @qhahsi
      @qhahsi 4 года назад +61

      What the fuck is your pfp

    • @Petar321_GT
      @Petar321_GT 4 года назад

      @@qhahsi yeah lmao

    • @madhu5465
      @madhu5465 4 года назад +2

      pikachu moaning

    • @salemmuhammad3536
      @salemmuhammad3536 4 года назад +1

      Sauce for pp

    • @yesok4244
      @yesok4244 4 года назад

      @@salemmuhammad3536 you meant pfp?

  • @RealGeorgeWashingtonFr
    @RealGeorgeWashingtonFr 3 года назад +3

    “I know some of you are seven”
    *shows a picture of a twelve year old*

  • @danielmcmahon6194
    @danielmcmahon6194 3 года назад +3

    7:19 my mans cant be walking round with dat bakers dozen and not expect me to want a slice

  • @BassMaster.454
    @BassMaster.454 4 года назад +3178

    "Its the most ambitious mobile game of all time."
    Every one: skip

    • @Ali-oh2bq
      @Ali-oh2bq 4 года назад +43

      KINGU CURIMSON

    • @GoldInk-ds5up
      @GoldInk-ds5up 4 года назад +11

      @@Ali-oh2bq KING CRIMSON

    • @jaimeg309
      @jaimeg309 4 года назад +9

      King Crimson

    • @speckle5474
      @speckle5474 4 года назад +9

      KING CURIMSUNN!

    • @SnoopySnoo
      @SnoopySnoo 4 года назад +9

      pyro is the only youtuber i feel has interesting ad reads

  • @Lightning_studios437
    @Lightning_studios437 4 года назад +2107

    Pyrocynical - Raid Shadow Legends
    Me - Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen
    Double tap screen

  • @TheOneGuyAce
    @TheOneGuyAce 3 года назад +5

    Pyro: gets sponsored by raid
    His subscribers: you have become the very thing you swore to destroy

  • @charliejones3272
    @charliejones3272 3 года назад +7

    0:58 I thought your dad was in prison, get your story straight!

  • @randomguy123playsgames
    @randomguy123playsgames 4 года назад +834

    “I feel like I’m reading a leaflet from a guy trying to sell me weed”

    • @Pabelotski-yi9zu
      @Pabelotski-yi9zu 4 года назад +8

      *trying to legalise weed*

    • @elite943able
      @elite943able 4 года назад +1

      Ha ha weed cool weed cool wow im smoking a weed 420

    • @Fat-Jim
      @Fat-Jim 4 года назад +1

      @Jon Boy I bet my wife because she interrupted me playing bookworm adventures deluxe to tell me dinner was ready. I personally don't see your point though

  • @lry1368
    @lry1368 4 года назад +4043

    Pyro is part of the only youtubers that insults their sponsors.

    • @youssefkandeel3667
      @youssefkandeel3667 4 года назад +263

      Internet historian.

    • @martyshrekster
      @martyshrekster 4 года назад +122

      @@youssefkandeel3667 The only dialysis you need is RAID: SHALLOW LEGIONS

    • @zedaddy3530
      @zedaddy3530 4 года назад +7

      HeyZeus

    • @quoan0736
      @quoan0736 4 года назад +191

      Pyro and internet historian are just competing to see who can make the most sacarstic sponsorship segment without losing the sponsor

    • @cloud9s266
      @cloud9s266 4 года назад +5

      Lolry your profile picture is belle delphine lol

  • @zlauzl91
    @zlauzl91 3 года назад +9

    Skip raid ad 2:53

  • @gregthemoron
    @gregthemoron Год назад +3

    "I'm not a 25 year old virgin anymore! Thanks sis!"
    *Sweet Home Alabama*

  • @MCmikelmax
    @MCmikelmax 4 года назад +2800

    okay legitimately the “warm up” exercises that ninja shows in this book are just for people with neck/shoulder pain. i know this because i did physical therapy for that and they recommended those same exercises.
    so basically ninja is a scrawny fucker like me that doesn’t work out so his shoulder blades grind against his spine lmao

    • @concept5631
      @concept5631 4 года назад +19

      Huh, neat.

    • @flocz5655
      @flocz5655 4 года назад +91

      6dig-S 61 Sorry, but it would actually be your scapulae grinding against your rips and rather moving away from your spine as a result of a hypertense pectoralis and protracted shoulders. And if u work out the wrong way it can get even worse, thats why push-ups are actually bad for that posture and exercises for strenthening should focus on the outward rotation of the shoulder and the straightening of the back.

    • @flocz5655
      @flocz5655 4 года назад +19

      So not even that did he present correctly.

    • @MCmikelmax
      @MCmikelmax 4 года назад +7

      Flo Cz yeah i’m no doctor lol. interesting that push ups would make it worse

    • @MCmikelmax
      @MCmikelmax 4 года назад +9

      I like Birds i’m totally calling it if the dude just listed off exercises he has to do for his own problems lmao

  • @kenmoops7547
    @kenmoops7547 4 года назад +662

    "Why do I have chronic neck pain, Doctor?"
    *MAY I INTEREST YOU IN FORTNITE NINJAS HANDBOOK?*

    • @Geoform187
      @Geoform187 4 года назад +10

      I think that the most appropriated cure to your chronic neck pain will be *Ninja's essential gamer exercises,* please consider the following.

    • @jacksonpercy8044
      @jacksonpercy8044 4 года назад +5

      Pyro has clearly never heard of Dr. Levi the gaming doctor

    • @TheCarpenterUnion
      @TheCarpenterUnion 4 года назад +1

      But for real, this seems like a book that should probably have been reviewed by doctors and psychologists

    • @kenmoops7547
      @kenmoops7547 4 года назад

      @EXPLODING LLAMA thanks, I'll change it now :)

  • @LynamUpProductions
    @LynamUpProductions 3 года назад +1

    Ninja: 8GBS OF RAM IS ALL YOU NEED
    Person trying to edit together game clips together in Adobe Premiere: *Loads Deagle*

  • @JimbobsTransportVideos
    @JimbobsTransportVideos 3 года назад +5

    So guys we did it .. we avoided getting sent to Brazil over somebody’s fake drama

  • @geertyboyfilms2721
    @geertyboyfilms2721 4 года назад +1947

    I love how passive aggressive pyro can be when talking about his sponsors

    • @josephkony3993
      @josephkony3993 3 года назад +35

      it was all sarcasm lmao

    • @sarc143
      @sarc143 3 года назад

      @@josephkony3993 bro what?

    • @josephkony3993
      @josephkony3993 3 года назад +4

      @@sarc143 I don't know

    • @phud69
      @phud69 2 года назад +68

      It's hilarious how he has blatantly made fun of Raid in every single ad read he's done for them but they still sponsor him after

    • @gorbonfree8245
      @gorbonfree8245 2 года назад +11

      @@phud69 he's still promoting them, shit promotion is amazing promotion. for example, you know those bad mobile ads? yeah they're purposefully made to be horrible because of this reason:
      btw this is from the pyro video called 'Someone illegally put me in a mobile ad' by pyro as well
      I doubt anyone is gonna read it, but I have visited a b2b ad conference in Eastern Europe this Autumn and sat through a speech by the guys who made the pin pull ads for a game shown in this video. It's a 4 person team from Eastern Europe. They presented how they are making these ads, like solely the technical aspect of it. But when they finished with the presentation, a guy from the audience asked them "Why?". Like, why do you make those. What's the logic behind it all if the game doesn't look anything like the ad, etc. You know. All the normie questions Pyro has in this video. I remembered the reply nearly verbatim because it seemed really funny. "We see the ads mission a success after three steps were met. 1. The user gets frustrated with the poorly solved puzzle and downloads the game to solve it. 2. User finds out game doesn't even feature the pin puzzles like in the ad and looks nothing like it. The user then enters the FRUSTRATION PHASE and usually leaves a bad review. However in 60% of cases the game is not uninstalled due to the user being distracted by something (for example writing the bad review, or like getting a phone call). 3. When the user gets bored in a couple of days and wants to play a game on his phone his frustration phase is long since over and he probably doesn't even remember that the ad he was frustrated about was linked to this game he now has installed, in most cases he doesn't even remember where he got the game on his phone, so he starts playing it and 5% of those users become paying customers which is more than enough to pay 500% of the ad budget back to the company. "
      - Артём Дубравин

  • @bingham392
    @bingham392 4 года назад +354

    My Nan’s legs when she’s at the top of the stairs:
    I’m not seeing enough movement

  • @designation7395
    @designation7395 3 года назад +5

    16:12 In Canada that guy writing the leaflet was parliament.

  • @blindclock3961
    @blindclock3961 3 года назад +9

    we all know that part with mothers is just pyrocynical wanting an excuse to look at women, we're onto you pyro.

  • @Dakayto
    @Dakayto 4 года назад +1234

    Giving this book to someone would be the greatest roast of all time

  • @samzterr7800
    @samzterr7800 4 года назад +908

    RUclipsrs: *exists*
    Raid shadow legends: ”it’s free real estate”

    • @xianeli8473
      @xianeli8473 4 года назад +31

      People: exist
      This dead format: used

    • @zerfixxz
      @zerfixxz 4 года назад

      Up vote
      Give this kid a metal

    • @zerfixxz
      @zerfixxz 4 года назад

      @@xianeli8473 ikr

    • @weirddudecastillo7280
      @weirddudecastillo7280 4 года назад

      bro change ur name

    • @declanedmison5442
      @declanedmison5442 4 года назад +2

      FV4034 Challenger 2
      No one:
      This dead format:
      No one:
      This dead format:
      No one:
      This dead format:
      No one:
      This dead format:
      No one:
      Ok I’ll stop now

  • @voidotter1435
    @voidotter1435 3 года назад +6

    LOOK AT HIS PIT STAINS!

  • @djimonstewart3400
    @djimonstewart3400 3 года назад +9

    Who going though pyros old videos after after hearing about the news

    • @danibalistic_uwu672
      @danibalistic_uwu672 3 года назад

      What news?

    • @bouncycastle3714
      @bouncycastle3714 3 года назад

      @@danibalistic_uwu672 he groomed a 15 year old

    • @ShaneLee3292
      @ShaneLee3292 3 года назад

      @@bouncycastle3714 well no he didn't groom but he had sexual messages that were disgusting with a 15 year old

    • @waffles1042
      @waffles1042 3 года назад +2

      @@ShaneLee3292 he only found out when ivory was 16, which is the legal age in both their countries.

    • @Ignacyjablonski12
      @Ignacyjablonski12 3 года назад

      did you watch the response video? he proved that he didn't know his age

  • @austin5809
    @austin5809 4 года назад +709

    Another victim lost to the void of Raid: Shadow Legends...

    • @budakbaongsiah
      @budakbaongsiah 4 года назад +38

      Hopefully this means less bullying & trending topics and more reviews and mlgs.

    • @malkbottomtext7589
      @malkbottomtext7589 4 года назад +14

      At least he gets money

    • @freedeoxide5179
      @freedeoxide5179 4 года назад +1

      Never

    • @elliottbenjamin9261
      @elliottbenjamin9261 4 года назад

      Here come Dat boi maybe he’ll buy a car

    • @danieleccleston7928
      @danieleccleston7928 4 года назад +4

      i mean, x dollars is x dollars, if it makes him cash its fine at least it's skippable

  • @theresarayner5726
    @theresarayner5726 4 года назад +1370

    Hitler: Um unseren Traum zu beginnen, müssen wir Polen erobern! Aber zuerst ein Wort von unserem Sponsor: Raid Shadow Legends

    • @Techn1kal
      @Techn1kal 4 года назад +106

      Das heutige Video wird von Raid Shadow Legends gesponsert, einem der größten mobilen Rollenspiele des Jahres 2019, und es ist völlig kostenlos! Derzeit haben sich in den letzten sechs Monaten fast 10 Millionen Benutzer Raid angeschlossen. Es ist eines der beeindruckendsten Spiele seiner Klasse mit detaillierten Modellen, Umgebungen und flüssigen Animationen mit 60 Bildern pro Sekunde! Alle Champions im Spiel können mit einer einzigartigen Ausrüstung angepasst werden, die Ihre strategischen Stärken und Fähigkeiten verändert! Die Dungeon-Bosse haben einige lächerliche Fähigkeiten und es macht viel Spaß, die perfekte Party und Strategie zu finden, um sie zu überholen! Derzeit hat Raid mit über 300.000 Bewertungen fast eine perfekte Punktzahl im Play Store! Die Community wächst schnell und die mit Spannung erwartete neue Funktion für Fraktionskriege ist jetzt live. Vielleicht finden Sie sogar meinen Trupp da draußen in der Arena! Mit dem Tarifprogramm für neue Spieler ist es jetzt einfacher als je zuvor. Sie erhalten eine neue tägliche Login-Belohnung für die ersten 90 Tage, die Sie im Spiel spielen! Also, worauf wartest Du? Gehen Sie zur Videobeschreibung, klicken Sie auf die speziellen Links und Sie erhalten 50.000 Silber und einen kostenlosen epischen Champion als Teil des neuen Spielerprogramms, um Ihre Reise zu beginnen! Viel Glück und wir sehen uns dort!

    • @therealplaguerat
      @therealplaguerat 4 года назад +132

      I wish I knew German

    • @christianmeile1466
      @christianmeile1466 4 года назад +17

      Bein a Lil edgy Arent we

    • @No-zl3ui
      @No-zl3ui 4 года назад +10

      Charlemagne schön wäre es ne?

    • @lestatsgirlypop
      @lestatsgirlypop 4 года назад +3

      @@uselesspotato6536 ok boomer

  • @asopher
    @asopher 3 года назад +6

    Dude your videos are next next level. How the F do you do them so well 🤣 editing and comedic timing on things is top notch. Bravo

  • @Noffie
    @Noffie 3 года назад +3

    2:55 we did it. We reached a quarter of a million subscribers

  • @nekomancer1495
    @nekomancer1495 4 года назад +931

    i like how he holds the ninja book like a bible
    he even quotes it like one

  • @Amarus
    @Amarus 4 года назад +397

    "I've made a severe" had me dying

  • @blue_the_duke
    @blue_the_duke 3 года назад +23

    I actually like the way Pyro handles sponsors. They are a lot of fun to watch.

  • @Curelessss
    @Curelessss Год назад +2

    This appeared on my recomendations and i thought it was the new video

  • @Martin-ts7co
    @Martin-ts7co 4 года назад +595

    Imagine how outdated the ram thing will be in like 5 years

    • @defyyourlogic487
      @defyyourlogic487 4 года назад +11

      More like 2 max lol

    • @evn2787
      @evn2787 4 года назад +16

      like 2 more or something im an IT major so i know rams is not much needed 8 will stay the same for long

    • @Geoform187
      @Geoform187 4 года назад +11

      The hardware section as a whole might be outdated as well in 5-10 years.

    • @baconbitz7804
      @baconbitz7804 4 года назад

      Detective Prince all he had was dpi

    • @notaloafofbread773
      @notaloafofbread773 4 года назад +2

      12 is the minimum tbh when you get discord, steam, and chrome involved plus windows uses 1.5 just by its self unless you try and deblot 10.

  • @geniusvideo2670
    @geniusvideo2670 4 года назад +2231

    this sounds like an essay that a 12-year-old wrote when the teacher assigned you to write an informational essay

  • @MrSimplyPut
    @MrSimplyPut 2 года назад +3

    I've never read a book that used the word "literally" outside of dialogue. It makes sense that Ninja was the one to do it

  • @karljeffers2749
    @karljeffers2749 3 года назад +2

    “They probably play video games 25 hours a day.”- Pyrocynical

  • @Inflake
    @Inflake 4 года назад +299

    I would be so embarassed to pick up that book in the store

    • @jackqueslack2339
      @jackqueslack2339 4 года назад +2

      Buy a happy birthday with it. People likely won’t question it.

    • @alwinwinter1645
      @alwinwinter1645 4 года назад +2

      Well, it's still better than having to buy the Minecraft joke book, full of funny Minecraft jokes written by some five year old that I literally had to pick up

  • @KingoftheKlowns
    @KingoftheKlowns 4 года назад +489

    "25 hours a day"
    You gotta bump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers

  • @e.l.studios455
    @e.l.studios455 Год назад +5

    i once saw this book at the dollar tree 💀💀

  • @ramanand5187
    @ramanand5187 2 года назад +2

    Ninja has had the biggest downfall in gaming history

  • @ilikelobsters.2376
    @ilikelobsters.2376 4 года назад +739

    “Skeletons have no rights*
    *that wasnt a really doot move*

    • @samojakoikadnijelako
      @samojakoikadnijelako 4 года назад +9

      hahahaha thats so funny 😂😂😂😂 can i get updoot 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 get it ? cuz its october and like haloween skeletons scary XDDDD XDDDD

    • @James-lh3sn
      @James-lh3sn 4 года назад +6

      Hello fellow Reddit user

    • @CH3CKIT
      @CH3CKIT 4 года назад +2

      Sad calcium noises

    • @skeletonjanitor
      @skeletonjanitor 4 года назад +2

      @@samojakoikadnijelako calcium hater ewww

    • @piesmuggler7268
      @piesmuggler7268 4 года назад

      why? why did reddit take doot from us? right before doom eternal.

  • @dimly2002
    @dimly2002 4 года назад +610

    “Why are rich people the most disconnected from society” just you wait pyro....

    • @Mj4life1230087575
      @Mj4life1230087575 4 года назад +11

      I feel like this comment had no substance in it tho. While ninja is rich after his massive amount of success, I wouldn't say hes disconnected from the common uh, 'gamer' I guess. What I'm trying to say is that Ninja likes to play videogames and hes talking to other people who like to play videogames. That's pretty connected

    • @boyoncrack313
      @boyoncrack313 4 года назад +1

      RighteousPurge he’s*

    • @rustywastakenwastaken
      @rustywastakenwastaken 4 года назад +11

      @@boyoncrack313 shut the fuck up

    • @Max-wc6zy
      @Max-wc6zy 4 года назад +7

      Shut the fuck up

    • @U.F.O
      @U.F.O 4 года назад +14

      Fuck the shut up.

  • @user-jp8rh6ts6m
    @user-jp8rh6ts6m 2 года назад +1

    this is legitimately the funniest ninja video i’ve ever seen

  • @zakazanystek861
    @zakazanystek861 Год назад +1

    Moral of this book, is that everyone wants to park in a shade, but no one wants to plant a tree.

  • @definition6486
    @definition6486 4 года назад +781

    “Everyone’s a gamer” guess I’m a mathematician by that logic

    • @dhan07404
      @dhan07404 4 года назад +12

      Guess I'm a marine biologist with that logic then

    • @itsoracle
      @itsoracle 4 года назад +7

      @@dhan07404 guess I'm a nazi by that logic then

    • @good__person
      @good__person 4 года назад +4

      Everyone is a gamer, but some is good gamer

    • @croissantj9588
      @croissantj9588 4 года назад +1

      @@good__person Everyone is a gamer but some are more gamer than others

    • @menacingthinker4322
      @menacingthinker4322 4 года назад +2

      @@dhan07404 hey is that a [obvious anime name] reference?

  • @molls761
    @molls761 4 года назад +611

    This video is literally pyro reading all the 9 year olds a bedtime story

    • @nightkiller594_6
      @nightkiller594_6 4 года назад +12

      Obama Gaming it’s 8 year olds not nine because we would be reading to pewdiepies fanbase if it was nine year olds🤔

    • @molls761
      @molls761 4 года назад +4

      Nightkiller594 _ basically the same fanbase 😳. All of us are big brained

    • @tovarischshashlikov
      @tovarischshashlikov 4 года назад +7

      hey obama love your gaming videos, cheers mate!

    • @strangerale4196
      @strangerale4196 4 года назад

      Obama Gaming hi obama i know your last name

    • @subtomycuntt6321
      @subtomycuntt6321 4 года назад

      Beo

  • @anothersome1552
    @anothersome1552 2 года назад +2

    I love the rdr2 music when reading the gaming bible lol

  • @mymanslippy
    @mymanslippy 3 года назад +4

    The truth is that playing a video game competitively takes less effort than standing up

    • @deepakcharan1771
      @deepakcharan1771 3 года назад

      what, no it doesnt

    • @AdaTheWatcher
      @AdaTheWatcher 3 года назад

      This could be different for speedrunners, but in every other case you're correct

  • @ghostfunny348
    @ghostfunny348 4 года назад +898

    pyrocynical: makes video on how bad mobile games are
    mobile game: hey that guy looks like a good guy to sponsor

    • @whitealliance9540
      @whitealliance9540 4 года назад

      Well now it seems like he likes it... $ make ppl opinions change... You could say they paid pyro for a better opinion

    • @slimymcbrazy7691
      @slimymcbrazy7691 4 года назад +20

      @My penis is unbelievably small but i mean its a turn based rpg, so yeah? its like saying cod is bad because you are only shooting at things.

    • @althealligator1467
      @althealligator1467 4 года назад +1

      Pyro: I guess I'll take the sponsorship for that thing I said was trash

    • @nicholaskinkaid
      @nicholaskinkaid 4 года назад

      Small penis guy, the problem with your criticism is that it's unbelievably vague. So much so that your comment contradicts itself. "All you do is tap on stuff" that statement can apply to EVERY mobile game because you play them on touch screen phones. Also, the argument that there are better games existing is obvious but is a misdirect because you are comparing games on other platforms compared to mobile....
      If you want to compare and contrast different games then its best and most coherent to compare games that are apart of the same platform and genre. It makes a lot more sense comparing, let's say, Halo to Call of Duty than it is to compare Halo to Luigi's Mansion.

    • @Daft-SFM
      @Daft-SFM 4 года назад

      Not to mention he backstabbed Lords Mobile

  • @medicburdy7791
    @medicburdy7791 4 года назад +681

    Everyday, Pyrocynical looks more like Gordon Ramsey

    • @lukadinicc2229
      @lukadinicc2229 4 года назад +21

      Well of course because Ramsay is Pyros father

    • @PaTrick-xl3yq
      @PaTrick-xl3yq 4 года назад +1

      Right?

    • @Z0r3_00
      @Z0r3_00 4 года назад +6

      Papa Ramsay

    • @dror2519
      @dror2519 4 года назад +3

      I don't think Gordon Ramsay is in jail...

    • @jackclarke1220
      @jackclarke1220 4 года назад +1

      A surprise, but a welcome one to be sure.

  • @josephjoestar1738
    @josephjoestar1738 3 года назад +2

    Every time I hear the word ‚‘gamer‘‘ being used unironycaly my fight or flight triggers