I agree that Ryle’s abuse was different than Lily’s dad, but in my eyes it was still abuse and I was done with him. I also felt like Colleen Hoover wrote it in a way to romanticize abuse and condone it in a way? Idk that’s just my opinion! That was my main issue with the story- but she does end up explaining a little in the authors note. The whole story definitely made you think which I believe was her intention.
she didn’t romanticize it . she was showing how victims actually think in those situations . like you said at the end , she was taking what she saw her mother do and go through
I don't think she romanticized it since she had Lily leave Ryle. If she stayed and acted like she was still in love with him then yeah. But I don't disagree with your thoughts...it's such a difficult subject!
I think Ryles character was specifically created to manipulate the reader like how DV victims are manipulated which is why he’s so charming and gets empathy from a lot of readers
I just don't think it is your partner's responsibility to heal you from your past traumas. These things should be resolved before entering in a relationship. Also, regardless how bad your past traumas are, it will never be an excuse to hurt anyone. Makes me to think of the quote "Hurt people hurt people." 🤷🏻♂
oh for sure - not their responsibility but it's it in your vows "in sickness and in health" and he is sick. what if he had cancer? You HELP them. Even if she didn't want to stay with him, go with him to discuss what happened maybe? Get to the bottom of his sickness and be there for him even if as a friend.
@@OurFamilyNest I think that’s a reach but okay. Going by your example, your partner, even if they get a terminal disease, WILL NEVER have any right to abuse you (e.g. throw you down the stairs, attempt to SA you, etc. as shown in the book). I mean, who gets pushed down the stairs by their spouse and just think, “For sure, he meant well”. I thought that was the idea of the book? To stop the cycle of making excuses for the people who hurts and abuses us so the future generation, like Lily’s daughter, won’t think that it is okay to allow themselves to be abused by their partner or the people around them just because they are sick. The title literally alludes to it, IT ENDS WITH US. At this point, I think you might have missed some important underlying themes of the book because, if you didn’t, you would have realized that Lily made the decision she made at the end of the book upon the realization that she is turning into her mother, who was also abused by her dad but decided to overlook it.
@@_Sedorikku97 great points. You are absolutely right. I think my heart just tends to feel bad for people dealing with mental health issues. If I had been one that grew up witnessing abuse it would be much easier to say, absolutely not. And walk away. In the end I think it all happened the way it was meant to. Have you read book two?
I agree with you on so many levels. Lily got married, whe carried her baggage into that marriage, she's not fully innocent, she even admitted that a couple of times but it was quickly brushed off in ne sentence. She never really truly loved Ryle imo. He was the one to tell he doesn't want a relationship, when it was in fact her who was carrying this baggage of old love and wasn't quite ready, there's the naked truth for her. Also I feel like she wanted to divorce him to revenge her mom in a way. The book made me very mad, can't be bappy about her and Atlas at the expense of miserable Ryle. No character development of her own... Bs
I have similar thoughts. I loved the book, read it all in two days. I couldn’t put it down. I fell for Ryle from the beginning, which made it so hard to see how things played out. I didn’t get the hype with atlas at all. I found him to be a very boring and forgettable character. I also didn’t feel like atlas and lily had great chemistry. I am glad that she left Ryle though. I think the author did a great job at making us fall for Ryle, he seemed perfect on paper and said and did all the right things, but then we saw he had this dark side to him. She really brought us into lily’s psychological processes throughout and I could really see how it wasn’t as simple as just walking away like everyone says it is. There was also a part of me that was pissed off at the end of the book and I’m still not sure as to why, I’ve never had that happen before. Maybe it’s because I was rooting for lily and Ryle, or maybe it’s because I didn’t spot the red flags in Ryle myself, or I’m just annoyed that she ended up with atlas. I don’t get the hype? He also isn’t that great? Remember how he asked her when she would turn 16? And then when he moves away to join the marines, lily doesn’t see or hear from him for months, no letters, texts or phone calls, and then he shows up on the night of her 16th birthday so that he can have sex with her as it’s not illegal as she’s not underage anymore? Seriously ? Is no one else seeing this? Just my thoughts on the novel. Don’t think I’ll read the sequel, although I loved lily and would love to see how things play out for her and also see do things improve for Ryle but I have zero interest in following atlas. Yawn. Would rather if she met someone new altogether.
I actually picked this up because I saw you were Team Ryle on insta and I was like….everything I’ve heard people are anti him, so I must know! 😂 finished it yesterday and honestly I don’t know who I prefer. I feel really bad for Ryle because I do think he truly is a good person, but that scene were he almost SA her was almost unforgivable. I don’t care if you have issues because of your bother. To do that do your wife!? That being said, it was heartbreaking during the birth scene and I do want the best for him.
Yeah that scene is rough...I think it was his way of trying to show her that he loved her despite his horrible behavior. Not that he wanted to r*pe her - but prove his love and it came across the absolute worst way. I think the guy needs a new therapist, he/she is doing a horrible job or maybe he's lying about even going.
Wow I never thought of Ryle “getting help” I just loved atlas so much and how much lily and atlas grew from the beginning but I did LOVE Ryle too but as soon as he touched I was like nope lol. But I do think he was not as broken as lily’s dad
I loved hearing your thoughts! I'm very excited to see what Colleen does with It Starts With Us. She explained that it takes place directly after the ending of It Ends With Us and it will be a dual POV with both Atlas and Lily. So, I think we will still get to see Ryle in the sequel, but likely not in a relationship with Lily.
@@OurFamilyNest Not yet! I preordered the book from Target because I had a gift card, and I got an email yesterday that the shipping was delayed! Do you like it so far? I can’t wait to read it!
My unpopular opinion, he was abuisve but it wasn’t meant to be romantized.. it was meant to be for those who don’t know what it’s like to be in these situations and deal with it and why they can’t just “leave” And atlas, I love him
This was the first Colleen Hoover book I read, and I loved it. I also read Reminders of him . I liked it, but not as much. I will order It Starts with Us right now!
Wow! I’m so glad I have watched this. I completely agree with everything you’ve talked about! I was so sad after iewu. I didn’t like the second book. The story line just didn’t follow accurately.
I finally get why people sympathize with the abuser. It’s people who don’t understand DV. They are precious and lovely for hand having to go through the trauma but it’s a good thing for them to know you will never know DV like the victims or the survivors. Team Ryle should never exist.
I was same way I wanted her to be with ryle but I also didn't want hum hurting her. I also I wanted get through the letters I'd be like dang why are these letters so long. But I loved the book and getting ready to read it starts with us
I’m wondering if the team Ryle ppl have ever experienced domestic violence? As a survivor myself, I find team Ryle REPULSIVE 🤢. Lily did help Ryle by finally setting FIRM BOUNDARIES. That being said, I think the ending to this sequel is weak and Colleen could’ve done so much better.
Yea, you just ditch the person because the next time they cross that line…. You could be dead. And yes, Ryle has to sit back and accept that Atlas will be in his daughters life. It’s not Lily’s responsibility to manage Ryle’s feelings. That’s kinda the point!
I am almost done with the book I'm reading it's getting really sad because the person they really love her passed away and didn't tell her that he love her which is very sad he died for she even knew that
I loved Ryle and have the same opinions about the Ellen letters I just quickly read them. But I think she wrote in the abuse the way she did as it was different to show that that’s how it starts until it eventually progresses into how abusive her dad was.
Absolutely love this book and read it starts with us absolutely love the books, I loved Ryle but I can’t get over what he did but I really do think atlas is the greatest option tho
From the get go I was not team Ryle. The way that Colleen describes him from the beginning of the book I knew he was trouble. I also didn't like how much Ryle and Lily's relationship depended on sex. To me it's as if Ryle wanted to bring out that vulnerability in Lily so he could take advantage of her
True…but it may have also been to show us that Lily never trusted anyone enough in a relationship to be that vulnerable before either which was also an important part of the storyline. And makes the abuse that much worse ;(
The guy was an alpha male. Sometimes to get to that status you need a woman who is willing to be your everything and be supportive no matter what. He just didn’t match with Lilly. He will be fine. He’s a good guy but he needs to find a true partner that wouldn’t laugh when he burns his hands. A partner that understands when to leave a man alone when he’s angry and to be 100 hundred percent all the way in and committed. That not Lilly was. He’s 100 percent wrong for abusing but just understand that he’s the type of man that needs a very specific type of woman. That’s all.
Eek no, this was a good story that if came from someone more educated with it it would have been powerful, but Colleen Hoover is not. The only thing she did well was get into the mind of victim shaming. Ryle was red flags from the beginning. I know these are fictional romance novels but I don’t understand the love for Ryle and romanizing toxic relationships. I loved a Ryle, abuse is abuse, whether they “mean” it or not, Ryle blacked out with his anger which is even more scary. He’s a narcissist and a groomer, even down to you are the only one that i want a relationship with. It’s your fault you’re to tempting. Yuck. He definitely could have gotten some help but not risking her safety. Bye dude bye. I appreciate your review and outlook though. I disagree. The fact that she had to ask him, how would you feel if this was your daughter thing, that makes him realize he’s a douche. That’s what it took? The Second book is worse lol
I agree that Ryle’s abuse was different than Lily’s dad, but in my eyes it was still abuse and I was done with him. I also felt like Colleen Hoover wrote it in a way to romanticize abuse and condone it in a way? Idk that’s just my opinion! That was my main issue with the story- but she does end up explaining a little in the authors note. The whole story definitely made you think which I believe was her intention.
she didn’t romanticize it . she was showing how victims actually think in those situations . like you said at the end , she was taking what she saw her mother do and go through
I don't think she romanticized it since she had Lily leave Ryle. If she stayed and acted like she was still in love with him then yeah. But I don't disagree with your thoughts...it's such a difficult subject!
I think Ryles character was specifically created to manipulate the reader like how DV victims are manipulated which is why he’s so charming and gets empathy from a lot of readers
Great point. I didn’t think of that!!
I totally agree.
I just don't think it is your partner's responsibility to heal you from your past traumas. These things should be resolved before entering in a relationship. Also, regardless how bad your past traumas are, it will never be an excuse to hurt anyone. Makes me to think of the quote "Hurt people hurt people." 🤷🏻♂
oh for sure - not their responsibility but it's it in your vows "in sickness and in health" and he is sick. what if he had cancer? You HELP them. Even if she didn't want to stay with him, go with him to discuss what happened maybe? Get to the bottom of his sickness and be there for him even if as a friend.
@@OurFamilyNest I think that’s a reach but okay. Going by your example, your partner, even if they get a terminal disease, WILL NEVER have any right to abuse you (e.g. throw you down the stairs, attempt to SA you, etc. as shown in the book). I mean, who gets pushed down the stairs by their spouse and just think, “For sure, he meant well”. I thought that was the idea of the book? To stop the cycle of making excuses for the people who hurts and abuses us so the future generation, like Lily’s daughter, won’t think that it is okay to allow themselves to be abused by their partner or the people around them just because they are sick. The title literally alludes to it, IT ENDS WITH US. At this point, I think you might have missed some important underlying themes of the book because, if you didn’t, you would have realized that Lily made the decision she made at the end of the book upon the realization that she is turning into her mother, who was also abused by her dad but decided to overlook it.
@@_Sedorikku97 great points. You are absolutely right. I think my heart just tends to feel bad for people dealing with mental health issues. If I had been one that grew up witnessing abuse it would be much easier to say, absolutely not. And walk away. In the end I think it all happened the way it was meant to. Have you read book two?
I agree with you on so many levels. Lily got married, whe carried her baggage into that marriage, she's not fully innocent, she even admitted that a couple of times but it was quickly brushed off in ne sentence. She never really truly loved Ryle imo. He was the one to tell he doesn't want a relationship, when it was in fact her who was carrying this baggage of old love and wasn't quite ready, there's the naked truth for her. Also I feel like she wanted to divorce him to revenge her mom in a way. The book made me very mad, can't be bappy about her and Atlas at the expense of miserable Ryle. No character development of her own... Bs
I have similar thoughts. I loved the book, read it all in two days. I couldn’t put it down. I fell for Ryle from the beginning, which made it so hard to see how things played out. I didn’t get the hype with atlas at all. I found him to be a very boring and forgettable character. I also didn’t feel like atlas and lily had great chemistry. I am glad that she left Ryle though. I think the author did a great job at making us fall for Ryle, he seemed perfect on paper and said and did all the right things, but then we saw he had this dark side to him. She really brought us into lily’s psychological processes throughout and I could really see how it wasn’t as simple as just walking away like everyone says it is. There was also a part of me that was pissed off at the end of the book and I’m still not sure as to why, I’ve never had that happen before. Maybe it’s because I was rooting for lily and Ryle, or maybe it’s because I didn’t spot the red flags in Ryle myself, or I’m just annoyed that she ended up with atlas. I don’t get the hype? He also isn’t that great? Remember how he asked her when she would turn 16? And then when he moves away to join the marines, lily doesn’t see or hear from him for months, no letters, texts or phone calls, and then he shows up on the night of her 16th birthday so that he can have sex with her as it’s not illegal as she’s not underage anymore? Seriously ? Is no one else seeing this? Just my thoughts on the novel. Don’t think I’ll read the sequel, although I loved lily and would love to see how things play out for her and also see do things improve for Ryle but I have zero interest in following atlas. Yawn. Would rather if she met someone new altogether.
Agree!
I actually picked this up because I saw you were Team Ryle on insta and I was like….everything I’ve heard people are anti him, so I must know! 😂 finished it yesterday and honestly I don’t know who I prefer. I feel really bad for Ryle because I do think he truly is a good person, but that scene were he almost SA her was almost unforgivable. I don’t care if you have issues because of your bother. To do that do your wife!? That being said, it was heartbreaking during the birth scene and I do want the best for him.
Yeah that scene is rough...I think it was his way of trying to show her that he loved her despite his horrible behavior. Not that he wanted to r*pe her - but prove his love and it came across the absolute worst way. I think the guy needs a new therapist, he/she is doing a horrible job or maybe he's lying about even going.
Wow I never thought of Ryle “getting help” I just loved atlas so much and how much lily and atlas grew from the beginning but I did LOVE Ryle too but as soon as he touched I was like nope lol. But I do think he was not as broken as lily’s dad
totally agree!
I was team Ryle from the beginning. When he started with the DV. I'm glad with the decision lily made. She helped Ryle become a better person.
I loved hearing your thoughts! I'm very excited to see what Colleen does with It Starts With Us. She explained that it takes place directly after the ending of It Ends With Us and it will be a dual POV with both Atlas and Lily. So, I think we will still get to see Ryle in the sequel, but likely not in a relationship with Lily.
I am 88 pages into It Starts with Us. Are you reading it?
@@OurFamilyNest Not yet! I preordered the book from Target because I had a gift card, and I got an email yesterday that the shipping was delayed! Do you like it so far? I can’t wait to read it!
My unpopular opinion, he was abuisve but it wasn’t meant to be romantized.. it was meant to be for those who don’t know what it’s like to be in these situations and deal with it and why they can’t just “leave”
And atlas, I love him
This was the first Colleen Hoover book I read, and I loved it. I also read Reminders of him . I liked it, but not as much. I will order It Starts with Us right now!
I agree with Candis opinion I really like Ryle. I don't condone the abuse at all but I do believe he means well.
Wow! I’m so glad I have watched this. I completely agree with everything you’ve talked about! I was so sad after iewu. I didn’t like the second book. The story line just didn’t follow accurately.
i’m so happy i’m not the only one that wants them to get back together 😭😭
I finally get why people sympathize with the abuser. It’s people who don’t understand DV. They are precious and lovely for hand having to go through the trauma but it’s a good thing for them to know you will never know DV like the victims or the survivors. Team Ryle should never exist.
I totally agree!
I was same way I wanted her to be with ryle but I also didn't want hum hurting her. I also I wanted get through the letters I'd be like dang why are these letters so long. But I loved the book and getting ready to read it starts with us
I’m wondering if the team Ryle ppl have ever experienced domestic violence? As a survivor myself, I find team Ryle REPULSIVE 🤢. Lily did help Ryle by finally setting FIRM BOUNDARIES. That being said, I think the ending to this sequel is weak and Colleen could’ve done so much better.
Yea, you just ditch the person because the next time they cross that line…. You could be dead. And yes, Ryle has to sit back and accept that Atlas will be in his daughters life. It’s not Lily’s responsibility to manage Ryle’s feelings. That’s kinda the point!
As always you guys are awesome amazing family god bless you all keep up with the great work much love
I am almost done with the book I'm reading it's getting really sad because the person they really love her passed away and didn't tell her that he love her which is very sad he died for she even knew that
I felt the same way about the Ellen letters. I dreaded reading those chapters.
Good morning everyone happy Wednesday morning and I loved your vlogs and you all amazing Supporter
I feel the exact way how you feel about Ryle.
I loved Ryle and have the same opinions about the Ellen letters I just quickly read them. But I think she wrote in the abuse the way she did as it was different to show that that’s how it starts until it eventually progresses into how abusive her dad was.
that is true, and I wondered that too. especially because each time it got worse :(
I was team Ryle too
Absolutely love this book and read it starts with us absolutely love the books, I loved Ryle but I can’t get over what he did but I really do think atlas is the greatest option tho
From the get go I was not team Ryle. The way that Colleen describes him from the beginning of the book I knew he was trouble. I also didn't like how much Ryle and Lily's relationship depended on sex. To me it's as if Ryle wanted to bring out that vulnerability in Lily so he could take advantage of her
True…but it may have also been to show us that Lily never trusted anyone enough in a relationship to be that vulnerable before either which was also an important part of the storyline. And makes the abuse that much worse ;(
Interesting perspective Candy!
The guy was an alpha male. Sometimes to get to that status you need a woman who is willing to be your everything and be supportive no matter what. He just didn’t match with Lilly. He will be fine. He’s a good guy but he needs to find a true partner that wouldn’t laugh when he burns his hands. A partner that understands when to leave a man alone when he’s angry and to be 100 hundred percent all the way in and committed. That not Lilly was. He’s 100 percent wrong for abusing but just understand that he’s the type of man that needs a very specific type of woman. That’s all.
i agree with you!!!!!
I feel this so much!
Love your videos very inspirational
Eek no, this was a good story that if came from someone more educated with it it would have been powerful, but Colleen Hoover is not. The only thing she did well was get into the mind of victim shaming. Ryle was red flags from the beginning. I know these are fictional romance novels but I don’t understand the love for Ryle and romanizing toxic relationships. I loved a Ryle, abuse is abuse, whether they “mean” it or not, Ryle blacked out with his anger which is even more scary. He’s a narcissist and a groomer, even down to you are the only one that i want a relationship with. It’s your fault you’re to tempting. Yuck. He definitely could have gotten some help but not risking her safety. Bye dude bye. I appreciate your review and outlook though. I disagree. The fact that she had to ask him, how would you feel if this was your daughter thing, that makes him realize he’s a douche. That’s what it took? The Second book is worse lol
Ryle is abusive. You women who are in love with him need a therapist
Frl.
I share that unpopular opinion as well I loved\love Ryle and lily💔 i wanted him to get help and be a better person for lily
i feel this so deeply.