Dumper Dumpee Value Switch (Podcast 404)

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  • Опубликовано: 21 дек 2024

Комментарии •

  • @The_Darrell
    @The_Darrell 3 года назад +179

    If an ex knew how much pain you were going through after a breakup, and she ignored you, and wouldn't respond to you if you were trying to fix things... that's not love. In my opinion, that's not a person you should be going back to... relationships need two-way communication and respect to work. If one partner is too immature to respond, then good riddance.

    • @ericgeorge6564
      @ericgeorge6564 3 года назад +16

      Truer words I have never heard! Very powerful message what u have said.
      If they did not value you and the relationship enough to try and patch things up then it is too bad for them. You key is to see your own value and once you realize it, you are in the driver's seat, so to speak because you will not "settle/" for less. This will put you in position of choice now, and no longer in an uncertain position.

    • @robtav9081
      @robtav9081 2 года назад

      0

    • @jorgeriera3337
      @jorgeriera3337 2 года назад +8

      Excellent words so powerful.
      My ex after she left she breadcrumb me and used me like an ATM for a month.
      Until one I told her enough " IF YOU LOVE ME THEN PLEASE BLOCK ME" so she did. Never heard from her again
      Keep in mind
      3 year relationship
      3 boys I stepped up to be a father figure
      I paid for bills and helped her refinance her house
      Helped her get a new car
      Vacations
      And took care of the house
      But I'm the bad guy go figure.

    • @mysterio5837
      @mysterio5837 2 года назад

      That what you an egotistic and selfish person. Karma is out for those who feel no remorse

    • @summersunrise.9518
      @summersunrise.9518 2 года назад

      I agree

  • @paulsell2438
    @paulsell2438 Год назад +37

    My ex is learning that the excess period of multiple one night stands isn't very rewarding...no one wants them for more than a single night of commitment free sex. I've leveled up big time, she isn't in my league anymore.
    This video is so spot on.

  • @TimStJohn-xp8rv
    @TimStJohn-xp8rv 3 года назад +64

    When my ex sent the text of the break up! My only response was ok! She is a fearful avoidant! In the past when she has broken up with me, I begged and pleaded. Over time she has always come back! Now I am in week three of no contact and was seeing a counselor before all of this came up! I do believe that counseling gave me the strength to accept it! Instead of looking weak in the past!

  • @maddena977
    @maddena977 3 года назад +31

    My ex knew what he was doing. He moved on a month and 3 days after the breakup. He won't apologize for his actions. He is very heartless. We will never talk again and I have accepted this fact.

  • @kumarshubham876
    @kumarshubham876 3 года назад +17

    My dumper is not gonna reflect … because she is a Narc .. and that’s the saddest part… but today I delete her number

  • @georgespangler1517
    @georgespangler1517 2 года назад +10

    And because they hurt and left you it will haunt them forever and karma will see too that.

    • @AngelofHogwarts
      @AngelofHogwarts Год назад +5

      We cannot force anybody to be with us or love us. It's always a choice. So while rejection and getting dumped may hurt, they are well within their right to do that. However, disrespect and cruelty is not okay. If they leave without an explanation or even notice...that's extremely painful, traumatic, and dehumanizing. They are in the wrong at that point.

  • @tysonpadilla8406
    @tysonpadilla8406 3 года назад +11

    Absolutely amazing video screw All the other ones I’m telling you you are one of the best there is out there. Thank you for these videos I can tell you put your energy into these

    • @vincentbos
      @vincentbos  3 года назад

      Thank you Tyson for your kind words.
      How are you feeling today?

  • @uknodavibe2756
    @uknodavibe2756 2 года назад +5

    Just focus on yourself the right one will always be there for you just a matter of time till you meet

  • @adamdanmusic
    @adamdanmusic Год назад +1

    I love this guy. Extremely well spoken and insightful.

  • @MadeInTheStruggleProgram
    @MadeInTheStruggleProgram 2 года назад +5

    You are saving lives MR BOS 💯💯💯

  • @Pearlangeldream
    @Pearlangeldream Год назад +4

    Value switch like a value meal. I ❤ ur voice & ur style. The ending is cute.

  • @RainMaker0602
    @RainMaker0602 3 года назад +17

    10:24 "I'm not God's gift..."
    I laughed too hard. I apologise.

  • @andziagreen4922
    @andziagreen4922 Год назад

    Brilliant and very valuable explanation dumper dumpee dynamics 👏thank you. Just after only watching I feel better about myself. It's 12 months and he never texted. I accepted his absence and working on myself but there are still days I think of him.

  • @annaisma1862
    @annaisma1862 2 года назад +7

    So sad I found this channel late but I find it so helpful 😉

    • @vincentbos
      @vincentbos  2 года назад

      Thank you Anna. How are you feeling today?

    • @annaisma1862
      @annaisma1862 2 года назад +1

      @@vincentbos am so fine bro , just after 3 months my ex is asking my family about me🤣 so this video made more clarity

    • @franciskoomson7312
      @franciskoomson7312 2 года назад

      The Coach's voice alone is very assuring and comforting. He doesn’t rush to but speak as if he is talking to you physically. This coach is so amazing.

  • @briteidea08
    @briteidea08 Год назад +1

    What if they are a dismissive avoidant??

  • @MalcolmWong
    @MalcolmWong 3 года назад +6

    It does make sense 💙

  • @liltin8476
    @liltin8476 3 года назад +8

    Hey vincent, do you think you can make a video where the dumper is in a rebound but still contacts the dumpee?

    • @Himothy_xx
      @Himothy_xx 3 года назад +9

      Dumper goes thru a phase just like the dumpee dumpees hurt first dumper hurts last. Rebound or not.

    • @danscott2059
      @danscott2059 3 года назад +1

      Happening to me right now--Arg!!!

    • @liltin8476
      @liltin8476 3 года назад

      @@danscott2059 same. I try to tell her to not contact me unless she’s single so i can continue my no contact journey but im not trying to just ignore her but i also dont wanna feel like a option/ backup its really messing with my head :/. Also idk if us txting while shes in this rebound is going to help her move on but at the same time i feel like if i dont respond she will move on because she thinks im uninterested.

  • @juanventura5692
    @juanventura5692 3 года назад +7

    This is what im going through right now. I cant believe she turned on me when in needed her the most...

    • @maddena977
      @maddena977 3 года назад +1

      I needed my ex too when I was dealing with some hard shit. He broke it off and now he is with someone new.

    • @dennisporter-avis7576
      @dennisporter-avis7576 2 года назад +1

      yep I'm going through the same thing

  • @leebennett294
    @leebennett294 2 года назад +2

    Thanks for the video 👏

  • @siggismalls6269
    @siggismalls6269 Год назад

    My Ex started sleeping arround and tried to come back multiple times now... This Video is spot on

  • @marcuswilliams467
    @marcuswilliams467 Год назад +2

    Unfortunately I am the one who has been dumped and I just feel like a piece if shit. I gone to the gym, picked up new hobbies done all the things you should do to focus on yourself and it's hard asf. But I will continue. The only way is up I guess.

  • @norswil8763
    @norswil8763 8 месяцев назад

    Problem with this is that my ex is smoking hot and has a personality and fun vibe to match, she could literally attract any guy she wanted and naturally does. I was never jealous in the relationship, but now it’s a terrible thought.
    We ended it well, No contact(not strict, but enough that she’s said she misses chatting) for a month and a half, with a few messages and a face to face chat. We’ve both taken accountability of mistakes and behaviours, empathised and been good in each other’s company. Had a dinner and drinks at a mutual friend’s last night and I could see attraction in her eyes, lot’s of held looks… so my hopes have come back up. She said I seemed really good and that she’s still “up and down”.

  • @ericgeorge6564
    @ericgeorge6564 3 года назад +4

    Great video! Thank you Vincent for this powerful inspirational video, which is so true. A dumper must focus on rebuilding their self esteem and confidence which is more important than wanting an nex back.
    You need to validate YOURSELF first and that happens when you start to pull yourself out of the ashes. That happens when you get out of your negative thinking and move about in the world and do different activities and socialize. The more you do it the more your confidence and self esteem will return. Then if your ex comes back you will be in a mindset of strength instead of weakness and you will be able to make decisions of what is best for YOU!!!!!!!
    I want to play this video over and over again, like a mantra because it is a great tonic for recovery!!!!!

  • @slimjim1104
    @slimjim1104 3 года назад +12

    Ya well unless you find out the dumper is a cheating monkey brancher

  • @carolynclem5462
    @carolynclem5462 3 года назад +3

    You know It came to me and this is my last words to my man. You know I always thought you'd always love me, guess I was wrong guess it was best for us to move on, I recon nair one of us was wrong to move on!! You have always held the key, I guess it's lost and never to be found!!!!

    • @vincentbos
      @vincentbos  3 года назад +1

      Hi Carolyn thanks for sharing your story. May I ask how old you and your ex are? How far do you live from your ex now?

    • @carolynclem5462
      @carolynclem5462 3 года назад +1

      @@vincentbos I'm 49 and he is 68 and live about 15 miles from him.

  • @lycan4377
    @lycan4377 3 года назад +1

    Where is the collection plate?

  • @isaachayes21
    @isaachayes21 3 года назад

    100%. God bless you.

  • @scottywarren3498
    @scottywarren3498 2 года назад +2

    I would like to know because I was the dumpee and it's been about 5 months and she is already with another guy if she wasn't seeing or at least talking to him while we were still together she is even moving in with him her and her youngest son I am curious do you really think that the dumper my ex-girlfriend do you think that she still keeps tabs on me because everything seems to be going right in her life I'm just curious to know if you would actually think she would still think of me or miss me even though it was a bad breakup and she did show narcissistic personality any and all comments are welcome thank you

    • @jorgeriera3337
      @jorgeriera3337 2 года назад

      No offense it she is moving in with a new guy move on with your life

  • @hannamanalo7665
    @hannamanalo7665 2 года назад

    Thank u so much sir God bless

  • @parisam7659
    @parisam7659 Год назад

    What if i was the person my ex monkey branched to (without me knowing until further into the relationship). My relationship was very intense but only 7months, will he reconsider our relationship?

  • @rvrnt196
    @rvrnt196 2 года назад

    Great! Thank you❤️

  • @btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892
    @btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892 2 года назад +5

    Unfortunately, my ex is very attractive 😔

  • @inserter400
    @inserter400 3 года назад +2

    IS THIS DIFFERENT FORMEN AND WOMEN ?

    • @vincentbos
      @vincentbos  3 года назад +3

      I believe it's similar

  • @lioncross1849
    @lioncross1849 2 года назад +9

    Crazy unlucky that my girl found a guy within 2 weeks of the breakup that actually wants to be with her!!

  • @phyllisorlino
    @phyllisorlino 3 года назад +1

    Hi Vincent.Ex confessed he talked to someone for over a month when he was convinced our relationship wont work .He’s telling me to they stop talking but sometimes the girl would chat him.He feels horrible on how he treated me and he cannot live a lie .When I wanted to to forgive him(bc I’m not perfect either I had mistakes too)but I felt like he was pushing me like he cannot understand why I’d still forgive him and when I told him the next day that we will talk about it he said he cannot and he said I deserve someone so so better and he said he doesn’t deserve anyone he deserves to be alone and deserves to die?and then he said it’s over.Also he deleted his instagram(the only platform we communicate).He left his number and email but I deleted on our chat thread so I won’t be tempted to reach him.Also we’re on and off relationship .I dunno if this is really the last?

    • @vincentbos
      @vincentbos  3 года назад +1

      Hi Phyllis, we never know when the 'story ends' between two people. There is always a chance you could be in the later chapters of each other's life story.

    • @phyllisorlino
      @phyllisorlino 3 года назад

      @@vincentbos hi vincent. So i was contemplating of sending him a message today on his email stating him that i miss him hahha! I know that i shall not break no contact so i tried to stop myself really but it’s really hard tbh 🥺hehe then there’s guy who i met online who seems interested to me so that had stopped me from sending msg to my ex 😂hahah! Like maybe i can send it later or never? What to do Vincent? 😅like im distracted with someone new now 🥺haha

    • @michaelandersen5821
      @michaelandersen5821 3 года назад +1

      @@phyllisorlino here i what you do, nothing.
      Dont tempt yourself, he made a choice to betray you.
      He should be the one to make the move to get back, so you have the choice to say yes or no.

  • @taterflaps475
    @taterflaps475 3 года назад +2

    Good insight, good video.

  • @renzjacob7380
    @renzjacob7380 3 года назад +1

    I need this

  • @callmeishmaelk767
    @callmeishmaelk767 9 месяцев назад

    Casual dumper/player types dump people over stupid superficial shit like your fork clicked on your teeth while eating. The only times I dumped someone is because they had serious life or character flaws that were clearly going to be a HUGE issue going forward.

  • @inserter400
    @inserter400 3 года назад +2

    COULD REALLY DO WITH ALIVE STREAM BOSS

    • @vincentbos
      @vincentbos  3 года назад +2

      I hope I can so one soon :)

  • @Questioneverything72
    @Questioneverything72 2 года назад +2

    Dom, Dom, Dompee, Domi Domi Domi Dompey
    Dompee Dompee Dompee yay! Dompey Dompey Nay! Laa, la , Blah Blah Blah boom. Bim bam Dompey Dompey boom 🧨💥

  • @craigstephens1344
    @craigstephens1344 3 года назад +8

    My goodness mate I thought I was in church lol.excellant content

  • @Jus-Too-Smoove
    @Jus-Too-Smoove 2 года назад +1

    Bro I love your videos, but too many times you say, “if you do everything right” , you know damn well we didn’t start by doing the right thing. 95% of us begged and pleaded, accepted friendship, sent letters and all that shit. I mean I laugh about it now, but before that shit made me cringe like crazy. I don’t think you should say to do everything right because that just feels like a lot of pressure. Great videos though for real.

  • @hdc1236
    @hdc1236 3 года назад +2

    Very good

  • @sandrasandrasandrasandra2285
    @sandrasandrasandrasandra2285 3 года назад

    Thanks 💙
    Yaa single life isn't easy but who is single? Hehe 🤔