Why We Are Going To Homeschool Our Daughter (Ep. 5)
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- Опубликовано: 2 сен 2023
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I think no matter how much time flies, bullying can have a lifelong impact. It's so much more than just trying to "get over it", no matter how light or severe that person was bullying.
Jup
Bullying can have a lifetime effect on a person. I had a lisp at high school and the bullying I received still impacts me to this day. 😢
Yeah i feel u
I don’t think everyone needs a podcast, but honestly you guys do. It feels like being a fly on the wall listening to your conversations. You’re not trying to sell us on a “show”, you’re just having the type of dialogue you would be having at the dinner table. It’s beautiful. ❤
P.s. 👚🩲
The way Gabe asks reassurance from Jess as she explains what she went through, truly shows how he validates how she feels it’s so cute 🥰🙂💕.
If my child felt uncomfortable having a person around I wouldn't disrespect that boundary or dismiss and downplay their feelings, I think it would be more appropriate to have a discussion about how they're feeling, etc and talk through the idea of forgiveness but they shouldn't be forced to be friendly just cause it's family
Yea I wouldn’t dismiss their feelings over it but ig if it bothered her that much I wouldn’t invite her, despite her holding a grudge over something that happened a long time ago
It's also been about 10 years since I was bullied, and this podcast gave me a heavy feeling in my chest. Those feelings definitely linger
Yes the feelings of hurt never goes away bc Satan doesn’t want you to forgive. It’s such a HUGE battle!! I’ve learned when those thoughts come up to start praying & asking God if He wants me to learn something from that or if it’s just Satan to rebuke him from my thoughts. Hope that helps. ❤
Best episode yet. Really cool conversation and a worthy topic that I feel like can get brushed over often because it feels like 80% of the internet is bullying or negative so therefore none of it is cause it’s so normal if that makes sense. You guys are really hitting your stride in this new podcasting space and it’s awesome! I love tuning in each week!
I think ultimately forgiveness or not, my home will forever be a safe space for my kids. I would of dealt with the first situation not by dismissing my kids feelings and telling them to get over it. And instead would have asked my kid if there was more that i didn’t know or if it didn’t actually stop when i thought it did. Then guided them through the processing of the hurt. Processing may result in forgiveness but doesn’t mean access. Your kid might not like the idea of having to see their bully outside of school in their safe space, around the family or at their home. I would of asked someone else in the family, if they could host it at their place & that i would still be helping, just to keep my home a place my kids will never feel uncomfortable in. And that way giving my child an out because its not in their space.
Just like how jess was taken back to an event 10 years ago, bullying is mainly the psychological effects that stay with the person, so clearly Sam is still effected by it. My personal experience and a lot of ppl i see online, schools suck at handling bullying. So for the school to actually act on it made me think it was actually quite serious, i think Emily also apologising a second time years later is also telling. Did she stop bullying but what she started stuck and other kids continued it and does Sam ultimately blame her for it / is Emily conscious of that and apologising out of guilt. The jokes or labels probably stuck or stunted sam’s self expression, at the same time she watched Emily get to be popular and enjoy her high school experience. I think at the end of it all Sam responded in fear to someone she doesn’t have trust for or feels uncomfortable with being around her family. Was probably upset and caught off guard that her mum who knows about it all being so okay with it , & seemingly to a teenage hurt sam taking her bully’s side. At the end of it all Sam probably will walk away from this situation feeling like Emily once again continues to be at the centre of hurt for her, because her family have taken Emily’s side.
I think Sam should take it in stride not go to the family event and reassure herself that at least she doesn’t have to hang out with them. If they don’t work out, its whatever & if they do & they get married, realistically as she gets older has kids she wouldn’t have seen her cousin as much as immediate family anyway. Low key if outsiders ask about it the story is, you were uncomfortable with your bully she married into your family and you keep your distance for peace.
You are amazing, I felt hard when Sam mom's said "you need to get over it", trauma is trauma, she doesn't need to, it'd be healthier to find a way to safely deal with it. It all goes back to mental health and what a safe space is. If we talk about a trauma about sexual harrassment I'm 100% sure no matter the age no one would push their own child to deal with it or "just get over it" no matter how long ago it was, it's a personal process, but just being there for your kids and keepipng a safe place is what is best. I'm sad Sam's family would go back at the bad things she used to do, as if those were the reason why she got bullied, to even things out kind of, or just to dismiss what she was feeling.
I know family is important, but they are also people and can be hurtful, sadly, not everyone's family is a safe place.
Grief and trauma of any cause doesn't go away with time just a reminder to every person it needs acceptance and most precisely some kind reassurances.
Such a great episode. Thank you for having the courage to speak out and share your own experiences 💛 I hope that anyone who is going through a tough time is able to see this and feel comforted and supported
Gabriel's parents have raised him so well!
Not with him taking up acting roles that kiss other women
@@frankielou Jess knows it's just a job, I'm sure.
@@frankielouis he doing it? I think it gross to o
Jess is such a kind-hearted and genuine person idk how anyone can be mean or hate her! 🥺 Love you guys! 🫶
All trauma is stored inside you. Thinking of the situation and getting anxious is bringing up all past emotions you likely felt then. The brain has no idea this memory is “in the past” it believes it to be a current threat, especially if you haven’t resolved this trauma. Just because it was 10 years ago- your body keeps the score!
Even after more than 10 years, I still can remember all the flashbacks during my secondary sch days. I don’t dwell much on it but whenever it comes to topic like this, it is something that I felt confident and comfortable to share. Really appreciate your sharings J&B! ☺️❤️
I got bullied in highschool! It’s horrible and to this very day I have low self esteem because people called me ugly! One of my bullies became a teacher and another became a psychologist how interesting
Thank you so so much I really needed to hear this!! I really need to start believing in myself more !! 😭
i genuinely look forward to seeing your content! jess gives me this calm abundant energy and gabe complements her so so well with his kindness and humor ❤️ thank you for doing what you do!
I’m actually so shocked that you both sided with the bully 🥺😔 Jess got anxious remembering something that happened 10 years ago and that’s so valid! Just like Sam was valid in her emotions. Doesn’t matter how long ago something happened, it can still be triggering. The bully’s apology was probably genuine but Sam’s healing process is hers alone and she doesn’t have to accept someone into her inner space if she’s not ready for that.
Age is also a big factor in this
@@jordiisnot really, the girl in the story was 17/18 in high school. Jess was feeling some type of way when she was remembering something from nearly a decade ago as well
@@carolinec31 the girl was 9 when she was getting bullied though and so was the „bully“
I agree!
@@jordiis ohh okay nvm I see what u mean now, yes the girl in the story was younger. But idk I think it depends on how sensitive the person is
I have been loving these podcasts! Thank you so much guys for all that you do! Been watching your videos for a number of years and love to see how much you've all grown in life in wisdom. God bless you both!
imagine if sam felt anxious being in a family event with her bully the same way jess felt anxiety just talking about her experience even if both were ages ago ykwim
As someone who’s experienced the same thing as Jess, talking about it makes me feel anxious too. However I’m actually friends with these girls now, because they apologized and we get along pretty well now. Life is about forgiving and spreading kindness. I don’t see why the „bully“ shouldn’t be invited since she’s obviously changed. People need to get over themselves.
honestly i also just think that jesss bullies never apologized sincerely or changed their behavior the way that sam’s bully did it was also like they mentioned only for a few weeks and then it got addressed and stopped unlike jess who it seemed to have happened for about two years
i think this is the perfect opportunity for sams mom to teach her forgiveness and how important that is for sam’s own well being
True, but, did Jess's bully apologize... twice? I've had a bully apologize and it really can help with moving on. They explained that they were young and stupid and are not the same person and are really sorry and I respected that because I wouldn't want something stupid I did in the past haunting me forever either. We didn't become friends or anything, but we could be in the same place with no problems.
Saying this with love as someone who has watched you both for years. I think the rhetoric around “was it bullying or was it abuse?” and “was it physical bullying?” is very dangerous. When you are bullied in your formative years, it forms new belief patterns and habits that can be detrimental to someone’s life and mental health. Regardless of whether or not it was physical. That is why saying something as in “it’s been ten years” doesn’t mean as much when the bullying took place during those formative years. This is often when triggers are formed.
It is also very possible and oftentimes much more healthy to forgive without allowing that person back into your life, or at least not giving them 100% access. You can wish someone well whilst protecting yourself. Forgiveness upon others is not a tool to do further self-harm and destroy your own boundaries. Seeing the language in the comments that ‘God probably wasn’t on Sam’s mothers side because of the family blow up’ is also super dangerous. Everyone in the family deserves to put up boundaries. Whether that means the girlfriend cannot come to Sam’s house or Sam cannot come to the cousin’s house.
There is too much talk of “how bad was the bullying?” How can anyone determine that scale? If it permanently impacted the person, it was bad. We don’t need to ask people to defend how much bullying was too much for whatever reason.
Again, I think this is something important to keep in mind. I have been enjoying the podcasts so far, and I’m happy to see y’all thriving. This particular episode just really surprised me, and the conversation it initiated in the comments was equally as surprising.
Well said. This episode is harmful.
Couldnt agree more 🙏
Love how you worded it!
👏🏼👏🏼
100% agreed! Time doesn't always heal. No matter how long it's been, the impact can still be triggering, and the trauma can still be present. So the idea of "its been 10 years, one should get over it" is a big NO for me. The same way Jess still feel anxious over a bullying event many years back, the same way Sam too feels uncomfortable being around her bully. Can't be biased here. Getting bullied 10 or 15 years back or even longer or shorter, this duration can't be the judge of when a person gets over it, or heals, or can be in the same room with the bully, or feel anxious narrating the story. Bullying unfortunately causes a very lasting wound. We have to be careful on the comments we make on behalf of other people's situation and not come across as invalidating. Can be very harmful considering that you are two very influential people. I say this with love, I've watched you guys from the beginning of your journey, I'm sure you will take this well.
Ohh Jess, please don’t apologize for being real and vulnerable, I totally feel you, even when feeling for the ones that are vulnerable. Thanks for sharing this with us. And i am truly sorry for those people that bullied you, they mush have been really jealous. Because you are gorgeous and have the nicest body! God bless you
Jess, your parents deserve an applause 👏🏻 because they have raised the most wonderful human being ever. Your honesty more than anything is what makes you so relatable. And you have so much and are one of the most humble woman to be on this platform. More than anything may you continue to grow in Christ as you have today. Been a follower since a little before your engagement to Gabe and my you have grown🥰 God bless you and your family a ton!
This was such an amazing podcast. You are such amazing humans and parents and have the best values. Definitely the best podcast and episode i’ve listened to. Keep being the kindest souls! Love you guys!💗
Thank you so much for the vulnerability. I related so much to Jess' story. I was bullied as a teenager too and it left a lasting effect on my life.
Thanks for another amazing podcast!
Love this topic. One big thing that I have learnt through experience as I have a younger sibling who experienced high school bullying 20 years ago is that you can't get through this alone. If you have been bullied at school or at any age, it can certainly have a lasting effect, you cannot always heal with time. You need to get professional help to help you understand what has ocurred and to give you tools to grow from this unfortunate experience. People that do nothing about it can grow into adults that use this as an excuse to continuously play the victim card and treat people like trash and even bully you, use aggression and use their childhood experience as an excuse for their behaviour. Get help, break the cycle. Please.
Loved loved this episode! You can really see the care and protection Gabe has for Jess which warmed my heart🥰
People who bully in their friend group really enable each other and truly enjoy every minute of it. This has happened in and established adult corporate work group where a new employee comes in and for no valid reason, except they feed off each other and want to bully someone out of the office. This happened for nearly 11 years. Jess I can see why it brings up anxiety when you bring it up because it never really leaves you 100%, even when you are in a better place. This can happen to anyone…very sad that even some adults have nothing better to do. Good topic.
you guys are honestly so funny i always watch the episodes in the morning while getting ready and it makes it easier to get going thank you so much for doing this
Jess never apologize girl!! I really appreciate the honesty. You guys both have such good heads on your shoulders, you guys bring such a refreshing perspective to the world. Thanks for being such great role models :)
I was homeschooled until 4th grade and i feel like that was a perfect amount of time to grow emotionally and mentally with a healthy faith-based way! It created a very strong foundation in me and prepared me so well for a physical school. It was a private school but i still feel like i already knew who i was and knew how big God was. So if homeschooling ever seems daunting, know that they don’t have to be homeschooled forever! I love the idea of homeschool though :) you guys are going to be amazing parents
25:05 this was 10 years ago... Now this is how the first girl from the reddit post was feeling about having someone come to her home!
I'm 36 and Jess, I totally resonate with you on having an anxious, emotional reaction to talking about my bullying. Retelling and relaying something that was so traumatic for us brings us back into the feelings and emotions, and it's like we're reliving it. Reliving it, but not controlled by it any longer! Thanks for sharing your experiences:)
Jess I really appreciate that you allowed us to walk through that vulnerable moment of anxiety that you were having. I think sometimes it is so healing for people to be in the moment and experience that with someone and understand it’s just a part of life sometimes, especially when it comes to traumatic events. God bless you.❤
Bullying anyone intentionally is always wrong and selfish...it can't be a part of life!bullies are always insecure, selfish and jealous!!
In today's modern educated world how and why anyone or anybody bullying...why!!??ok to stop a bully first communicate with them with love then if they dnt listen then ignore then if they constantly wants to harm you then discuss this issue with your parents and then bring ur parents and they should inform teachers! if that does not work, sometimes teachers involved with that bully or group and support them to do wrong for obviously no reason just for their insecure nature..than share this with online and if possible if that's an cyber bullying than collect information or proof bt otherwise your parents should communicate with bullies mom and dad bt if again this happen then give them(bullies)a big slap,beat them with cricket 🏏 bat😂
Really I mean it❤
Anytime I see a new So Far, So Good episode my day is made! 💛 Loved hearing your thoughts on this topic
This podcast is so refreshing and yet calming, love the energy
The same thing, about repeating clothes, happened to me too at school. It does feel silly but then those memories are still stuck with me. Because I stood in the middle surrounded by the others laughing at my clothes!! This made me so insecure that I used to go through so many clothes, including my mother’s clothes to wear to the school, so that I don’t get judged or laughed at!!
There was one bully that came into my neighborhood & always started fights with all guys my age. This was from age 8-12. He always would act crazy & it made us fear him. Where I grew up you fought or got beat up. Once people knew you weren't a push over, they wouldn't bother you. One day the bully shoved my younger brother down and I hit him & bust his lip. I was still afraid but I didn't back down that day. He was the only person I ever lost a fight to. He backed up and saw the blood flowing from his lip and he attacked. I ducked & hit him again. He then bust my lip but I still didn't stop. We went toe to toe and I beat him for the first time. As word got around the neighborhood he wanted to prove it was a fluke so we fought twice more, the same day, and I beat him again. All the older guys cheered and said that they were so tired of us letting this kid bully us. They said it was about time one of us stood up to him. That was the last day we ever saw the bully! He quit coming around. I grew up in a Christian family too but the rule was look out for your brothers & my dad said always walk away unless someone tries to back you in a corner. Then you better fight your way out.
Can y’all talk more about other reasons for homeschool, your plan for home school, and your specific plans for how you will structure it?
I went to public school until 6th grade, then was homeschooled until I graduated HS. I was so mad at first about being homeschooled, but I ended up loving it. I went to multiple co-ops and I ended up getting to start working pretty much full time because I only went to school a couple days a week. Homeschooling opens the door to so many opportunities and the freedom to do more things. I'm so glad people are finally realizing that.
I have been loving this podcast! It is so so amazinggg❤❤
I'm not all the way through but I had a few really crippling (lifelong) experiences where someone really close to me would tear me down and want me to stop being certain things and then go on to copy it. I could never understand why. I would prefer that she mean what she was saying and that be her honest opinion rather than do that.
A year ago, a therapist explained how awful jealousy really is. I didn't want to believe that was the case because I genuinely love seeing everyone shine in their own unique light. But you Jess are so pretty, sure pure and so kind - a triple "threat" in some ways (even though I'm sure you don't like the idea of being a threat at all) but hearing the shirt copying story, it was 100% that. I'm so sorry for what you went through💛
Yeeees!!!! I’m goint to prepare dinner and watch this episode💅🏻❤️❤️ love you guys🥰
Girl! My dad taught at my high school and everyone loved him too! I think that protected me for awhile hahah. Bullying sucked, but definitely got me to be more socially aware. Can’t believe anyone would say Gabe married the wrong person like what the heck?? You’re a treasure!!
Time doesn't always heal. No matter how long it's been, the impact can still be triggering, and the trauma can still be present. So the idea of "its been 10 years, one should get over it" is a big NO for me. The same way Jess still feel anxious over a bullying event many years back, the same way Sam too feels uncomfortable being around her bully. Can't be biased here. Its okay for Jess to still feel uncomfortable for being bullied many years ago, its okay for Sam to feel uncomfortable too. Disappointed at Sam's family. I'd never let my child be in the same room as their bully even if its been years since the bullying event, unless my child has made their own decision to forgive, let go, or are not affected by it anymore, I'd respect and prioritize my child's boundaries any day!! Getting bullied 10 or 15 years back or even longer or shorter, this duration can't be the judge of when a person gets over it, or heals, or can be in the same room with the bully, or feel anxious narrating the story. Bullying unfortunately causes a very lasting wound. We have to be careful on the comments we make on behalf of other people's situation and not come across as invalidating. Can be very harmful considering that you are two very influential people. I say this with love, I've watched you guys from the beginning of your journey, so I do feel a bit free to be open about how I feel with regards to your comments in this Podcast. You guys are wise, I hope you will speak wisely. I'm sure you will take this well. ❤
I’m saying this from a place of love & respect but I feel quite shocked & appalled that you didn't only take the bully’s side but also (mainly) invalidated Sam’s bullying and ultimately traumatic experience ‘just because it happened years ago’. Bullying regardless of when it happened - whether it’s emotional or physical - has a huge impact on the way we act, behave and think, it changes our perspectives on so many different things including our morals, values & beliefs especially our self-worth.
Having your bully at your safe place where it’s supposed to be off-limits to outsiders & strangers apart from your loved ones isn’t something out of line nor outrageous to request from your own family considering the emotional trauma which was inflicted at such a young age + the severity of the bullying in this case where even the school had taken action for it.
In addition, Sam’s age doesn’t undermine nor invalidate her bullying experience, her journey of healing nor her boundaries. If Sam feels uncomfortable by her bully’s presence, the first thing that should have been looked into is the reason as to why she feels this way. Is her discomfort caused by anger, resentment, hatred, jealousy, ego or does it come from a place of fear and stress? The answer would have helped to find a solution to this matter and solve this issue with compassion and boundaries for all parties involved.
It’s honourable that you think from the bully’s perspective about what would happen in the future in the case of a marriage, etc. but the thing here is the fact that this is not a wedding and this is not a situation where Sam has to force + make herself uncomfortable in order to please others when she has the choice & option to prioritise herself. Growing & maturing as a person doesn’t equate to giving others the access to crossing your boundaries but quite the contrary which is expressing & establishing your own set of boundaries to prioritise your mental & physical health.
If something that happened to Jess a decade ago can be anxiety inducing to talk about then it might be the same case for Sam as well therefore it’s hypocritical to say that Sam needs to ‘move on’ when a traumatic experience has a life long impact and you don’t have an idea of how serious the repercussions could have been or has been on her.
Once again, I’m saying this w/ the utmost respect but pls be careful of the wording you choose to say when talking about sensitive topics when you have such a big platform. We all have different thoughts & opinions which is completely ok but the statements you choose to let out can be very harmful if you aren’t very careful and be spread without really understanding nor knowing the severity of them by others. Have a great week ahead
I LOST it when you guys started talking about the “dobbed on” thing 😂😂😂😂 that was hilarious
Love this podcast and I love the topics you guys have gone over so far thank you guys for being u and forget those negative comments, I hope whoever comments those feels better about themselves sooner rather then later
Aw I love how Gabe’s parents taught him how to respond
just for the record i found jess’ singing videos before i had heard of gabe so when yall became public in my mind he was the lucky one for choosing the prettiest, most talented, girl best fit for him 🤗
I really enjoyed this podcast, getting to hear you guys' opinions is always the best. Sending lots of love to both of you and I can't wait to see the next episodes. P/S: Jess, just know that you're beautiful inside and out no matter what you're going through
Saying as a mother of 10 kids..Such a clever decision!! Really appreciate it and good luck ❤
I agree with Jess and Gabe on the first one. I think bullying is real but so is forgiveness! So much redemption comes from that ❤
Such a nice episode, mean people are everywhere you just need to be okay with yourself enough to not let the meanness hurt you and also have good people so that can love youu over the hurt!! On a funnier note 😂 I was having a work call yesterday and my boss was asking me how's work and i ended up sharing so far so good 😂😂😂 and it doens't make sense because adding so good to my answer made me go lol in my head but it was such an immediate response because i had been listening to the podcast before the call so yeah 😂😂
In that day, Sam learned a valuable lesson: family is not always the people you want in your life. If they turn the back on her because she felt uncomfortable to have a bully in her house, than go ahead Sam and live your life without them, you will be much happier!
Thats crazy how people would say Gabe married the wrong person, clearly he & Jess were made for one another 💛 Can’t wait for the merch!
There will always be bullies out there. Always. What are you gonna do? Hide from the entire world cause it's full of mean people? You need to learn to be a better person than that and show the world that anything it does will not affect you. Plus, there are lots of nice people out there too. You just need to look 💖
I love all the good advise at the end. I tell my kids whenever they feel hurt by someone, “you can’t control their sin, but you can choose to not be controlled by their sin.” We don’t have to react to people’s sin, we can learn to respond in a way that is God glorifying.
Now that my daughter watches Bluey, I get most of Jess’ Aussie slang haha I feel so cultured
It’s very normal to have a physical reaction when talking about something traumatizing.. there is still space for healing those parts of us that were hurt, if that is the case ❤
These stories about bullies really boil down to not being able to give forgiveness lot of people hold grudges and hold resentments to people for way too long almost even lifetimes. Forgiveness is for yourself it frees you from all those feelings and living as a prisoner God helps heal and soften the heart to be able to give grace or forgive. I have let go so much from even parental hurts and honestly bullying by one step parent but it was amazing to let that go and forgive and then you protect yourself from any more of that. Although you can move on as long as you feel safe and confident once things can be let go on your end.
You can't just get over being bullied no matter how you are being bullied you are still a victim of it. Almost 9 years later I still remember what I felt in high school and it has affected me ever since because I have been so much more reserved since 2013. I have forgiven them but you don't forget. If I ever saw them again I highly doubt they would even know me.
Guys, LOVE the so far so good merch that you're wearing so much! When and where can we get our hands on them ?!?! ❤😂
I like the little machine you push Gabe when it’s a strong point 😂it’s fun
Loving your content. ❤
Love all the podcasts lately - so cozy and positive 🤍
Haven't even finished this episode and just have to say I had such a great experience being homeschooled!!!
I was homeschooled and experienced bullying. It’s not fun. But I praise God that I was homeschooled and not having to be in the same room with that person every day but I saw them often and it was such a struggle. It effects me today. I understand how you feel Jess 💗
Bullying is really so terrible😢. I had really bad acne from the age of 10 which I was bullied for at school, fortunately for me, I have thick skin so it hurt but I shook it off. There are so many horror stories of young kids committing suicide because of being bullied💔
It has to stop! I believe it starts at home, we have to show love to our kids, we as parents have to set an example for our kids.
Be kind🌸show love🌸
how can anyone bully jess sweetest human ever and so kind
I was bullied and now homeschooling my kids. Effected me for life.
Through the hardship you learn a lot and you will grow up to be a good person who will never do to others the way you were treated. If you never experience hardship, you will not develop fully
Jess leads this podcasts very well 👏👏
Sundays are my favourite 🫶
I was bullied a lot all through school, a girl tried to set my coat on fire on the school bus. I always told my mum she would sort it out with the school, I even got victimized by a schoolteacher in my first school I had her for 2 years a child psychologist was called in they thought it was from my home life which it wasn't it was the school she was sent on a course & was never allowed to be teach me again. Even in my middle school I got pumped by a teacher for leaving my seat to borrow an eraser from my friend it was so humiliating she wasn't allowed to teach me again. I loved every Thursday afternoons I got to go home early. I was at school when it was ok to punish school kids with corporal punishment. The boys got it worse. Watching and listening to Jess & Gabriels podcast brought back so many memories.
Thanks for sharing your story. I was bullied as a kid too and I think that shaped me.
Another so far so good ❤
Omg carindale hahahaaaa you're missing out Jess 😂😅 Great video, thanks guys!
Love your podcast
hurt people, hurt people
High school really should be abolished.
You spend years there learning things that you'll never use as an adult, and if/when you get bullied, the teachers almost NEVER do anything about it when you report it.
In fact, in lots of places, if a teacher actually sees you being punched or kicked or anything, both the bully AND you end up getting detention, because you were both 'involved in a fight'.
Every time I think about high school, I just get angry at the amount of time wasted there, and at all of the abuses and bullying that no one stepped in to stop.
The only way bullying ever stopped for me was when I fought back and did some serious damage...in fact, I think that's all school ever taught me...that the only way to stop bullying is through extreme violence.
Who the hell wants to end up like that?
It’s the only way to defeat a bully. To give them a taste of their own medicine and instill fear into them. Sadly.
One last thing, that you mentioned was the fact that after high school, you won’t see many of the students that you went to school. This reminded me about some of the students that I went to high school with. In school some of my classmates were bullies, however after the had graduated school, they seemed to have become this new person and turned out to be some of the nicest people that I know.
Have been following you for a few years since my wife introduced me. Love everything you do! Jess, I know you're thinking about the online accountability from a very hopeful perspective, but that is such an extreme level of control that can be held over anyone, it destroys all freedom. That's how it's always happened in history when privacy is lost. E.g. you dissent on topic X (probably a cultural point), authority group doesn't like your effectiveness. They frame you for hate speech or criminal speech on topic Y (organizing a violent uprising, etc.), and anyone who defends you is stepping into the line of fire as well. A society can almost become irreparable from that kind of mistake.
Yes, Wrestle him to the ground!!!
My husband and I stand by that parenting technique for bullies if it gets too far... but, sometimes kids can't physically stand up for themselves...
My 8 year old son was being bullied by a girl in his class. It wasn't just him, but she was way worse to him for some reason. This girl had some stuff going on in her home life. I get that that happens and i truly feel for kids who have bad home lives. When our oldest boy was 8 his bully threatened to STAB him with a pencil and my son was like no, but ill fight you if that will make you feel better 🤦♀️, they didnt fight and he told me right away and I turned right back around and went to the school to talk to the teacher and staff. They explained his home life was a bit rocky (no details were givin to me of course), but we understood and explained our main concern is still our son's safety no matter the circumstances, and the school kept our son and the other boy safe. Fast forward 10 years to schools now a days....
Like i said, this girl had some sort of issue at home, i dont need specifics, but she was PHYSICALLY hurting our son and breaking his things. Stomping on his legs while wearing boots when he was sitting on the ground doing a project (she was one the the bigger kids in the class.) , taking his water bottles and throwing them so they got dented and breaking his headphones for testing, etc. His teacher always reported it and messaged me immediately, but her hands were tied and the school staff didn't do much but say "sorry that happened to him, maybe he should avoid her". 🤯 she could have broken his leg! She sought him out. He was bruised for a while. He tried avoiding, he tried telling an adult, and if she were a boy, we wouldn't have been mad at him for physically standing up for himself by this point (pushing them away, punch them in the arm, wrestle them to the ground, yell at them or, you know, settle it like he does with his 3 brothers) BUT, like I said, she's a girl and we teach our boys that boys don't hit girls. We even go so far as to say that no matter what a person may claim as their pronouns, no matter what bathroom they are allowed to be in, if they were born female, you don't hit them. So, he couldn't settle it and had to deal with it the whole year. It was absolutely ridiculous. They wouldn't even put either of them in a different class. Schools are so scared of the repercussions of disciplining a kid, that they do nothing at all to make a kid want to stop being a little... poopy head. I was going to pull him out of that school, but he said he would rather deal with it than leave his brothers and friends just because she was a bully. Which we respected, because it is not fair that he would have to leave because he wasn't the problem. He is the kind of kid who really doesn't like change so pulling him out would really upset him, so we just made sure that when he came home every day that he was ok, and that he was mentally ok and knew he was loved. She eventually stopped hitting him at least, which is why we let him stay. He said he could deal with the rest and my husband and I, although frustrated and not made of $, would replace the little things she broke, got him a lock for his backpack so she couldn't get into it, and things chilled out by the end of the year. He is doing great this new year, but it was a rough year last year.
We are the kind of parents who understand that every story and situationhave 2 sides and we also double check that our kids take responsibility for being part of the problen if anything ever happens. But his teacher reinforced that he really did just mind his own business and didn't instigate her bullying at all.
(Just fyi, We also teach our girls that hitting their brothers, or boys in general, just because our girls are upset or something is not ok. Unless they are being hurt, hands to themselves)
Yea we should never take the bully’s side ever and there’s no excuse for the negative impact they had on our children’s lives at one point. It doesn’t matter what they did, how they did it or how long ago it was. Bullying is a form of abuse and it shouldn’t be tolerated or dismissed whatsoever. What matters is that they were impacted by it, that’s all
I had to pull my son out of school in 3rd grade due to bullying after he voiced he wanted to harm himself. His mental health took a dive and it took my YEARS to build him back up. I still home school him today and he's so much better than he used to be and actually a year ahead
I think that the people who are responsible for the bullying or teasing are insecure or jealous people. In your case, with your relationship, with people telling Gabe that Jess is the wrong girl etc are probably so envious that you two have a strong respectful marriage. In my personal experience people who lash out at other people deep inside wish that their life was in a better place. And for whatever reason bullying makes them feel good. I can never understand why everyone just cannot be nice to each other. Hope that makes sense!
LOOOOOVVVVEEEE THIS!!
Thank you for the podcast. I have realised so many things through this podcast, I used to follow this youtuber, I really loved her, still love her, but one day something about the said youtuber popped up on my feed and it was soo mean and cruel, still I got sucked into it. At the end I said it's only rumours, none of it matters, but at the back of my mind, it was there. I stopped watching her vlogs for no reasons at all, still subbed but wont click on them. But yes, Internet throws huge loads of negativity everyday, all day.
p.s. I'm gonna re-start watching her
Reddit story #1, forgiveness is key & God was trying to give the parents a key teaching experience. No matter how old a child is the teaching for parents NEVER stops!!!
Story #2 brother needs to learn to forgive & move on.
S as far as social media rules, I agree with Gabe, every individual gets one account on any app, if they want to add one it needs to be registered & paid for by that individual. If a business applies for an account they have to pay an initial fee that would include, let’s just say 3 other accounts that are all linked & registered under the main business name. I’ve personally never understood why these rules haven’t been set up. It’s never too late to start enforcing rules!!!
Obviously I thoroughly enjoyed this video!!! It brought back a lot of emotions & memories & made me think. Thank you for opening people’s eyes. ❤️❤️❤️
Goddd mom advice was the best 😂😂
I rarely leave and comments but i really wanted to say Jess, you are the sweetheart of youtube. Never pay attention to those who say something negative about you. That is not true.
Jess , could you please make a video for hair ? And how to grow your hair , please ? Thank you so much ❤
4:22 - 4:36 It was just a funny interaction 😂😂❤
Hey I've been watching your channel for a while and really appreciated you sharing your experience. It's great that you've been able to overcome most, and i hope that if there's any remnants left, that too shall pass.
I just wanted to ask regarding what you guys have been giving as an anecdote of bullying. Regardless of perceived severity (which is subjective), it seemed to be that you guys classified bullying as comments (whether it was individual or in a group, or true or false) that was made that impacted you emotionally. Within that line of thought, though, i did notice that as part of your "so good or no good" in previous episodes, you would make comments that could be perceived as negative regarding celebrities' professional and personal lives / perpetuate comments that has been made by someone else. Given the influence you have, wouldn't that also constitute as bullying? I don't mean to speak definitively, but to me at least, seems like a valid point to at least reflect on. Thanks!
The only reason they bullied you is because you were a threat. You're so sweet and beautiful and I'm sure that drove them mad!
The Carindale shoutout 😂😂
I have nothing else to say but i totally get it jess❤
This is the video I was waiting on!! 🙏 I was bullied and I got so many gems that I am not even going to try and list them. 😅 HOWEVER I must say this (caveat... I am from the Caribbean so you can look up what these words mean): But dem people fast and outta place!!! How can they tell you that is not the person you should have married? Who are they? Boldfaceness... smh Steups!!... Sigh.. okay... rant completed. 😅 Back to the video 😁
In my school bullying was never that bad... sometimes people weren't super nice and talked about you behind your back but I would rarely hear of someone actually being bullied... and I was NOT popular, had about 3 friends 😅 lol glad that's over!
I totally support both your reasons for putting your daughter into homeschool. However I do want to say that in my experience, I don’t think I would be who I’am to this day. I had some pretty rough times in school, experiences that I may not have experienced if I had been homeschool. With all that being said, there are definitely positive reasons to homeschool a child. One important reason, is that it will teach your daughter to be independent on herself.