Joel and Lia the reasoning for opening the gift in front of someone is you want to honor the person but there is a regift policy , if you don’t like it you kinda bite the bullet and then when you get home you start rewrapping the present immediately
I tried to order the deodorant but I'm in the US and didn't see where you could convert it into dollars. But, I did get a phone call from my sister which threw me off. Maybe I'll try again.
Their shoe store experience was probably with an odd fellow who does not has social awareness. I am pretty sure people like that exist across the globe, but these two classify him as a typical encounter. BTW I don't think of Brits as the ones with etiquette I think of the upper class with etiquette.
If you don't open the gift right then and there some would take it the wrong way. They may think you don't want the gift or might not like it. It brings joy to watch people open gifts. It is normal here just something we always done.
It brings joy to the giver to see your appreciation. I fully understand that. I can imagine the recipient could feel put on the spot as well. If you DON'T open the gift right away, one might think you plan to give your gift to someone else - or re-gift it.
Here, (UK) it's really not the norm! It's seen as rude, like you are judging the gift, in front of everyone! I would hate it if someone did that! Unless its family or close friends obviously, then it's fine, but any other time, you politely thank them, then put the gift away and open it later, then privately thank them for it at a later date.
Receiving a wrapped gift from a friend, say at a dinner party you're putting on, I think it would be a bit awkward to open it up right "then and there". First of all you're probably VERY busy and having to "gush" over a gift while stuff is cooking on the oven would be a bit awkward. I think I would thank the gift giver and just lay the wrapped gift down for later.
@@Ladyfire745 I feel it gives the giver the impress you don’t really care. Like when giving a gift I would want the person to feel so excited they can’t wait. To me it conveys that you are more appreciative of the thought and gesture than the actual gift which works out too if you don’t like it.
There is an explanation for American “friendliness” and small talk. We are, historically, a nation of immigrants. The only way immigrants can survive is by reaching out to integrate into a community. Thus “friendliness” has become part of our culture.
That's interesting. I'm a very reserved person but I'm far less reserved when I go abroad, especially when I have to speak French. My French isn't the best, but I can say pretty much anything I want to (after a fashion). Having to speak foreign makes me even less reserved because it's not my language and I don't know the nuances it's easier to kind of steamroller your way forward and any uptightness is banished...
It may also have to do with the early settlers in the United States, many of whom were Scottish, Scots-Irish, and Irish. When I visited New Zealand which was mostly settled by the English I found most people rather reserved and cold, except in the far south of the south island which was settled by the Scots - where I felt right at home.
@@jenniferwarhawk7301 huh? which other country was build primarily by immigrants? The U.S. received 12 million immigrants between 1870-1900 alone. My family arrived in the 1850’s, along with millions of others.
@@bandit78100 Pretty much all of them. At one point the world was largely uninhabited. It was people moving from one place to the next that formed countries. Just because it wasn't called immigration doesn't mean it wasn't a foreign people coming into a new land and inhabiting it. Canada is the same, many South American countries are full of European immigrants, Mexico is full of Spanish descendants (from Spain), etc etc. All nations are nations of immigrants, it's immigration that caused nations to be populated in the first place. (Initially, I mean.) Is just that America is the most notable "nation of immigrants," so everyone thinks it's the only one. It isn't.
I think the biggest issue I had during a three week visit to London was the "coldness" of the people. There only person who seem outgoing and chatty was a girl from Ireland at a bagel shop in Victoria Station I stopped at every morning. About the third day she remembered me and asked where in The States I was from. From that day on she always chatted for a bit each morning. Everyone else was so closed-mouth when I smile and try to chat up the cashier or server in businesses. The only conversations I had were with the friends I was staying with in Penge. Now the person you mentioned in the shoe store would make most Americans uncomfortable as well. There is a line between amiable chit-chat and being weird.
I remember taking a friend to London, who wanted a orange Fanta, the counter persons response was "flat or fizzy" or did he say still, to this day I'll never forget his asking, Fanta is ALWAYS carbonated BTW
@@christianc7420 When I got back to San Francisco most of the people were fairly friendly and willing to talk in businesses and such. I thought then there's definitely a cultural difference.
I'd probably be pretty ok with it as I'm not all that chatty (in person lol). However, I guess it would seem weird if other people didn't try to talk to me. Lol!
As an American, I, too, find the hovering, chatty salesperson in the store irritating. I don't think that's a cultural thing. The way to handle that is to politely say "If I need help with anything, I'll let you know. Thanks".
Depends on where you are in USA. 😊 I am from Alabama where total strangers start up convos in elevators, something that is a no-no in the rest of America...and other nations. But here in the Deep South, a sales clerk chatting you up about the weather or last Saturday's college football game is quite common, as is your telling them that you have some physical ailment and they give you an anecdote of when they or a loved one had just such an ailment. I have grown accustomed to it and think nothing of it.
@@rchrisutoob I've lived in Ohio all my life and I talk to people in lines, in an aisle in a store, just about anywhere. It's not just a Southern thing.
I've actually heard plenty of loud Brits on holiday. It's not just us loud Americans. I don't know if this qualifies as etiquette or not, but it's totally okay in the USA to customize nearly anything about your meal at a restaurant.
This is funny that you mention it. I had a very famous dog named Faith, and when we traveled to NYC and were at the airports of hotels, it was always the Brits who were the loudest trying to catch up to us so they can have their picture taken with Faith. It was awesome!!
As a Canadian, I love opening gifts in front of the gift giver because I want the opportunity to compliment my friend for being so generous. But being the gift giver makes me want to die inside because I don’t like receiving compliments. Canadians are wedged between American friendliness and British stand-offishness. It becomes such a dilemma for us.
@@flyflorida2001 apologizing is truly an Olympic sport here. I’m not sure why we feel so guilty about things that are mostly not our fault. We often move through the world feeling like we’ve just robbed a bank; even though we definitely didn’t rob a bank. We’re a bit weird and skiddish that way. Of course I’m generalizing, but that’s how I am.
When I lived in the UK for 2 years, I was SHOCKED that people would stand up and walk away from their messes on tables. I saw it in the movie theater as well.
Sales people are told to chat up customers, to try to build a rapport. It's a technique. You don't have to feel rude, just tell them, thanks, we'll let you know if we need any help. The double kiss is seen as a upper crust, country club kind of gesture. People usually just give a hug to those they know well. Personal space.
I'm a WASP. The family has been Reformed Church or Presbyterian since the arrival from the Netherlands. 12th generation born here and I find the European habit of hugging and kissing repugnant. My Aunt married into a family that is Italian but uses mostly French because they lived in Algeria until the French were kicked out. They do this kissy-huggy routine and I really hate it. I usually just step back and avoid them. `Even my cousins do it. I'm sure they think I'm stuck up but I honestly see it as an invasion of my space. I also do not like perfumes and I don't feel like smelling what you had for lunch. My last name is Sicilian butthat doesn't mean I engage in European customs. Small talk isn't usually about personal things like family. The sales person was out of line and rather obnoxious in not taking the hint that his presence wasn't desired. A greeting and a "Let me know if I can be of help" is sufficient. It's worse at car lots. Leave me your card and go. I'm the type who will look you up when I'm ready to talk since you were the first to greet me. I have left stores and bought nothing when the salespeople were being too aggressive.
It’s absolutely ok to wait and open a gift, but DO open it at some point during your visit. It’s better American etiquette to say “Oh thank you! should I open this now?”. The exceptions are, when you receive a gift meant to be shared such as cheese, or wine. Open these immediately. Take a minute to note how thoughtful, notice the details. Second exception is if the person says “open it!!! “. They are excited to give you something special. Hopefully you’ll love it and not have to fake your happiness. If you don’t like it find something you do like such as the color or usefulness or focus on the fact your friend was so kind to you! That is how it’s done!
Giving someone a bottle of wine does not come with the expectation that it needs to be opened and consumed immediately. You should never expect a gift recipient to share their gift with you or anybody else. Once you give it, it is theirs to do with as they please.
Yeah, I say "Thank you for thinking of me," if I don't like it. Because I find it sweet they went out of their way to get me a gift, nonetheless. And yeah, always nown to open and share food and drink gifts. Unless it's a special bottle or something small, receiver asks, "Shall I open it? Giver might say "it's just for you"
The Georgia guy WAS rude: that wasn't small talk, that was just invasive, and most of us would have found a way to get out of it... well, I would have...
It's all about sells, many department stores in malls in the US are quite annoying, I don't even want to walk by some of them especially if they're standing at the door, don't even speak to me and don't make eye contact!
If that stalking scene really occurred the way you described it, you should have screamed ‘security’ and made a run for it!😂 It was a lot more than just etiquette!
My experience of this is that there are two factors at play: age of the homeowner and region. Older homeowners are least likely to have any kind of no shoes rule. I think it's because of the era they came to adulthood in. People were more formal. No shoes is informal. Then, I found that Hawaii is a place where almost no one wore shoes in a house. A bit of the Asian way, and a desire to not track red dirt all over the floor. This was also the case in Alaska because of snow/mud and really heavy boots.
I'm from the UK (English) and I absolutely haaaate it when I can't watch someone open their present/s. Gift-giving is a big thing for me, I am someone who usually puts a lot of thought and time into buying gifts for people (and wrapping them nicely, sometimes adding a little cryptic clue on the tag etc..) and my most favourite part is watching them open them, I feel very disappointed if they don't and put them to the side for later or another day. This happened a lot with covid when we could only drop presents off over Christmas etc.. It was so awful. Small talk - I don't mind a tiny bit, but if it's to the extent that the person follows you around, that would drive me mad. I do have to engage in small talk often myself as I work on a till in a shop, but when I'm out shopping myself, the only person I want to talk to is myself (I do that alot in shops haha!) Tips - only leave a tip if the service was really good. Kissing cheek greeting - Usually only with family (I don't live in London, maybe Londoners do this more). Hugs for friends. Loudness - no thanks. Shoes off - Will always go to take shoes off when entering someones house, but if they say not to worry about the shoes then will keep them on, especially if everyone else has. Clearing up - I will clean up if there is a visable place to put the trays, cups etc..
We've all been brainwashed through the years culturally. Can't imagine being mortified opening a gift in front of the friend who spent time and money to bring me that gift. But I am wondering how you respond once you open it, do you call them or never discuss the gift?
Same. A lot of people I’ve talked to said it’s harder on them though as they (each server) has a way they like to do things and they are used to that let’s them work faster. I was surprised but it actually made sense in a way. I still do it though as it’s a hard habit to get out of.
@@valeriea475 I have known many people that have worked as servers through the years. Most have said they prefer to do the clean up for the same reason.
I don’t stack dishes. I just put all the napkins and trash on the plates so they can easily pick it up and dump it, and then they can stack dishes however they like
My daughter and I love to give gifts and when people open in front of us we get so excited to see how much they like them . We take great care to make sure it’s something they love.
I think the shoes thing varies from home to home and whether it's muddy outside or not. Cause if people have smelly feet I would much rather them keep their shoes on.
The shoe thing does vary, and obviously if they are muddy you wouldn't want to track mud into someone's home. But the reason you don't take them off is because it would be considered too informal, treating someone else's home like it was your own. It would be like going into someone's kitchen and helping yourself to whatever is in the fridge. You may do it with family or someone you know well, but you don't generally "make yourself at home" unless invited to do so.
We've always taken shoes off. Occasionally, when visiting someone's house, they'll say it's fine to leave your shoes on. When a family from Texas via Arkansas moved to the Midwest, they were surprised by the etiquette of no shoes in the house.
Cleaning up after yourself is just a polite thing, so we in America appreciate you! 🥰 Love the sit down chats, I miss those, nice to pepper them in with the travel vlogs. Love you guys, can’t wait for the next one! ❤️❤️❤️
It took me living with a person who lived in the UK twice to tell me that putting my silverware crossed on the plate I was done, and the server was free to take it. Here in the USA it's very common to have to ask/beg your server to clear your table, personally I'd like to show I've got room for a dessert, and if it's not busy, have another round of beverages before being hustled out the door.. although in the states I've had the opposite happen too, the busboy had been by 4x in a secluded dining area where I was eating a nice steak dinner with my partner, I finally had to tell the manager how uninviting it felt [the chain failed soon thereafter, nationally]. If I stack dinnerware up and put it at the edge of the table for a server to take next time their empty handed and pass by, it means take it by all means, if I have to sit there looking at dirty empty dishes, you will see a reduction in your tip. Likewise, if I have to ask 3x for a refill on a drink and you are still ignoring the previous requests, I typically will think my business isn't desired here.
Should be a busperson taking dishes away. Do you think your server washes their hands every 30 seconds or after the 100’s of times per day they handle other people’s silverware?
Just a disclaimer for non-Americans: Every Denny's is managed differently, so an experience at one is not indicative of all Denny's. It's like Subway, where one might have wonderful fresh subs, while another might have really mushy wilted toppings. One might have good staff, and another might have rude staff.
Also after your meal is done, you can complain to the manager if you had a bad experience. Some places have a suggestion box in which customers can complain or praise an employee. This may have a better effect than not leaving a tip, because the employee might just think that someone is just cheap when they don't leave a tip and not that there was a problem with the service
The sales person...I'm American and I HATE THAT!!! When I go into a shop I want to browse...leave. me. alone. If I need assistance I'll ask for it! If that guy followed me around like that, he'd be following me right out the door as I went somewhere else! LOL To be fair though, a lot of sales people do that because they earn commission and want to make sure they get the sale. Like used car salesman...ugh...don't get me started lol
We had a store here in America that went out of business about 20 years ago, it was known to have people riding your shirt tails back then, I'm guessing wanting that commission/sales bonus.. we learned fast, we called the store ahead of time to find out what was not in stock, and sent each leech to find out what store had it. I usually tell a floor walker, thank you for letting me know you work here, if I need help I will come to you.
I agree 100% but u dont need to double space in between your comment. Making ppl click the Read More is almost as annoying as someone following u around in a store
I lived in England for 15 years and I never encountered ANYONE who removed their shoes coming into the house - unless they were obviously muddy or wet. And I knew people from ALL social classes! So this one has me smh! 🇺🇸🤦🏼♀️
This comment makes me think of Eluzabeth Bennett (of Pride & Prejudice) & the comment abt her messy appearance after walking to Netherfield. Would they have taken their shoes off back then? I doubt it, so when did this custom change? Was it only after carpeting became a thing? That'd be my guess, although I have no idea if/when carpeting replaced hardwood floors in England.
And conversely I think foreigners would be shocked at the number of USAmerican homes with shoe racks (which they use) by the door. Or how common it is to ask the home owner/host do they prefer shoes on or off. Shoe etiquette in the USA 1) is pretty complex and 2) vastly different depending on region and social class
In Canada a bathrobe is usually a terrycloth robe used for bathing or showering. A house coat is usually worn over your pjs or nightgown when just getting up from bed or just before going to bed.
Sometimes customers think they’re being helpful by stacking their plates, or moving things around to tidy up the table, but depending on how the tables are bussed (cleared), you could be making more work for the person who has to clear/carry the dishes away.
I hate dirty dishes sitting in front of me after I eat. Soon as I’m finished, I need the dishes gone or pushed to the side. It’s so freaking gross to me.
I will say the server at Dennys did sound like he was doing crap job. But please please don't always blame the server when food comes out wrong or in shifts it's not always our fault but the kitchens.
Agreed. I tipped the server in every sit-down restaurant I ever went to, with only one exception, 20 years ago. They sat me in the smoking session when I said no. They got my order completely wrong. And they couldn't be found when I needed them. I had to eat, so I ate the wrong meal, got up and paid at the front, and left. No asking for change, no additional gratuity, nothing. (To be fair, the restaurant was very busy that day. It's no excuse for terrible service. But I won't insult a server ever. Just, no tip.) I went back a week later and everything was fine, and I left a good tip for that meal. That's how it works.
Ha! We were at a tourist spot in the Netherlands and my chatty husband was trying so hard to make friends! I finally chuckled and said, “Sorry, y’all. My Texan man will talk your ear off if you let him.” They all laughed too ( probably because of the y’all). It broke the ice, though, and we were able to visit more. The Brits in the line were actually the friendliest!
American here. First time in the UK. Stopped at Beaconsfield Service Plaza. Stopped to have breakfast and thought how arrogant that all these people have left their trash on the tables.
So if you don't open the gift in front of the person, do you just say Thank you and never talk about what they gave you? Here in the US, wedding gifts are usually not opened until they are by themselves, but they keep track of what was received, sending a thank you note within a month or so. Baby showers, to open your gifts Is a big part of the party so everyone can see, so I guess I'm saying different situations decide whether you open them or not. Tipping here is just crazy, and I agree if the service is awful, speak up as to why you aren't leaving a tip, gives them an opportunity to learn. Always fun to see you, thank you.
I work fast food and if someone left their trash at the table that piss us off. Fast food workers don't get tips and there is less of us workers. Yesterday there was only 3 of us. My manager was running the restaurant from the backline. We had one person running fryers. Then me everything else. We don't have time to clean up after people. Just a quick spray with cleaner and a quick wipe. It is rude and we always think to ourselves is this how they have their homes?
The kiss-kiss thing we definitely don’t do. As far as cleaning up in a restaurant for fast food where you don’t tip, I bus my own table. In a sit-down where a tip is expected I’ll usually stack dishes and leave them for the wait staff
FYI - You said your house shoes were “aka slippers” and “aka flip flops”, but in the U.S. those are not at all the same type of shoe. Slippers are indoor shoes that are usually quite soft and only meant to be worn around the house. Flip flops are shoes worn most commonly to the pool or the beach. They are frequently made of some sort of rubber (though not always), and the heel will snap up to your heel with each step. It’s true that some slippers (though not all by a large margin) will also have a “loose” heel similar to a flip flop, but they rarely snap up the same way, and even if they did, they would still be very different due to the softness of a slipper vs flip flops generally being relatively hard/firm. And slippers are usually meant to be warm, whereas flip flops are not since they are meant to be worn in warm weather outside.
I get JOY in watching others open my gifts. But there are cases where opening a gift isn't convenient, so that I understand. And we are definitely a SHOES OFF house! My family wasn't growing up, but then, when my husband I had a new apartment and new carpets, we didn't want them ruined. I also don't like tracking in whatever is outside - pesticides, pollen, muck, whatever. My SIL is SE Asian, our best friends are from India and my son's best friend is half Japanese. They are VERY strict about shoes off as a custom. My inlaws even got us a front door mat with the Queen of Hearts that says, "OFF with your shoes!" 🤣
Here in Ohio, and most of the country (apart from some big cities), it's normal to nod and smile at people as you walk past them or stand near them, say waiting for an elevator, or riding in one, but it's not automatic. If you chat, it's something totally innocuous, such as "hello" and maybe, "oh isn't it hot?" or "too bad about the Bengals last night" (meaning, the local football team). Mostly you learn to read the cues, and maybe some people don't really want to talk or feel comfortable, and that's fine. But then you have some folks who absolutely cannot read the cues, and that's what may have happened with that fellow in Georgia. If you wonder about why people are this way -- and more reserved in cities -- I think it's like this. In most places in the U.S., people feel safe, especially when everything around them is familiar; but in big cities, things can be different and uncertain, so people may be more guarded. When I traveled abroad, I would try to be humble and acknowledge my language difficulties and simply ask for help and at least know how to say please and thank you in the local language. I remember striking up converstations with locals in many places, often because people there were curious about me as -- so they accurately guessed -- an American. I like to think I was good at reading the cues overseas, but who knows?
The gift opening thing for me has always depended on the situation and the gift-giver. If I am having a birthday party, I collect the gifts throughout and open them all at once at the end. If I am hanging out with a singular friend and they give me a gift, I’ll open right there in front of them since it’s a much more intimate/personal setting and I don’t have other peoples gifts to also worry about. But regardless, the giver WILL see me open it. In all honesty, the British etiquette makes zero sense to me lol I can’t imagine going through the trouble of selecting a gift for someone and then just never getting the chance to see their reaction? Is it just forgotten about forever and never discussed? And this is coming from someone who isn’t even that big into gift-giving. The shoes on inside, I’m totally with you guys on that. As soon as I got my own apartment I made a no shoes inside rule and now when I think about shoes being worn indoors I think it’s sooo gross…
I like to open gifts in front of people as well but the main reason is so I can thank them right there or else I will forget. Also the reaction if I spent time finding you a good gift I want to see your reaction. If you hate it I’ll know and can try better next time.
I like to take the gift home and open in private. It gives me time to compose a message of sincere gratitude or an opportunity to make a phone call to thank them. I probably seem rude at times, especially since I’m an introvert.
Shoes off at the door is more popular in areas where there are more immigrants. I’m in NYC and do it automatically. Sometimes people will tell you to keep them on but most guest will at least ask if they should.
To really convey the message that you hated the service, leave a penny. Then they know for sure. Otherwise he/she may have assumed you tipped on the credit card receipt.
American "etiquette, " as you squeamishly and oxymoronically call it, varies tremendously by locale. I live far enough south to be in the habit of briefly acknowledging a passing stranger... but in Philadelphia or NYC, I'd probably get pepper-sprayed.
Absolutely! I’ve lived in several regions of the US and how strangers behave is completely different in each region. I’m from the Midwest - we behave much like the south. In the southwest - no acknowledgement at all. I’m now in New England where it lands somewhere in between. We are a nation separated by regions.
I'm from Chicago and we are pretty friendly, but we kind of amiably mind our own business. But striking up a bit of a conversation with a stranger isn't unusual.
Some people here do the air kiss too. Some will even actually kiss the cheek of the other person. Some people just hug and some don't want you in their space so they just smile and say hi and ask how the other person is doing.
Not being stereotypical but don’t Italians kiss on the cheek during greetings? And yes it is usually only with family and people that you’re really close to.
@@Kim-427 unfortunately some people think they are close to everyone. If I don't know you I don't want you touching me except for a handshake, and sometimes not even then 😄
I’m surprised by the “small talk” point because you two are clearly good at it, based on the friends you’ve made at the NASCAR museum, the Eastern State Penitentiary, etc. “Shoes off” houses are definitely in the tiny minority here, but I think the trend is growing. I married into an Indian family, so the habit is 100% ingrained in me now. Also, where I live we have snow and ice ~5 months of the year. To avoid puddles/etc. it’s very common to find a mat or rug just inside the door of most homes here. Thanks for another fun one! 🙋♀️💐
Lol, so true, Joel and Lia are quite the masters of small talk. Personally it would feel very awkward to me if we didn't. But in the situation in the shoe store where he followed them around, I wouldn't like either.
Working in a grocery store I see this more often then I should. There are a handful of regulars who some have mental disabilities who really just will talk to you for half an hr about random things including there entire life history and as an employee you can’t be rude or anything but sometimes it’s hard to do your job when there literally keep talking. I know these people are total sweethearts and don’t really understand that we don’t have time to have a whole conversation especially being under staff
#1 I’m fascinated by your choice of Denny’s. In the Pacific Northwest it’s sort of our version of a Waffle House. Eat there once and you’ll never need to go again. #2 It’s definitely “normal” to open one’s gift in front of the gift giver, but it is also ok to ask if you should. I usually ask, “should I open this now?” then I go with what they want. Sometimes people are just as uncomfortable watching someone open a gift as the one opening it. #3 The employee in the shoe store - customer service, to the point of being intrusive, is sometimes pushed by an employer. It doesn’t happen very often to me but I will stop, make eye contact with them, smile, and say, “oh, well that’s interesting. I’ll let you know if I need your help.” Then I walk away. Direct and efficient 😂 As an aside, the air kisses are great to watch other people do (they make me feel warm and cozy) but seem SO intimate for me, but I don’t hug many people either. I sound like a freaking hermit. 😬😆
As a child, I use to go barefoot in the summers in the South. So, I do not wear shoes in the house because we just did not wear shoes in the house. The only time I wear shoes in the house is when I am coming back from going out to the store or other places. Something else to consider, is that many American houses are a lot bigger than the typical English house. Many have hardwood floors, especially in the South, and they are swept and mopped daily. Of course, our porches were also swept daily too.
And we are trained since we are young at birthday parties to watch gift openings. It's fun to see people's joy at something you gave them. And even if you don't like the gift, it's good practice to be courteous and appreciative that you were given a gift to begin with. Plus, you get to thank the giver immediately and not take the chance that you'll forget to do it later. I think weddings might be the only place you don't open gifts in front of everyone because of time constraints. Then you have to write a slew of thank you notes afterwards.
Before I leave hotels I gather all of the bath linens as well as bed linens in one heap and bag all of my trash so that all they have to do is clean up. I worked in hotels for 16 years so it's just been a habit.
I do this as well. Not only to save them time, but also to ensure I didn’t leave something. I also started removing the linens because I heard that some housekeepers will, “pop the sheets” instead of putting on fresh linens.
I think one of the best things I've ever heard from American gift recipients is the question of "is it alright if I open when I'm home, or would you prefer I open here?" I think it's one of the most considerate questions out there, because just as Lia was saying she'd be afraid she may not like it, as a gift giver, I wouldn't want you to feel pressured to act any particular way. If asked the question, I usually respond that it's up to the recipient & their levels of comfort. 😊 It sounds to me like the person following you either had a mental condition (the fact that they would speak to your backs when you were clearly continuing on, uninterested) or was up to no good (insisting to know where you're from), so please be careful with that in future. It is 100% okay to turn and say something like, "it was nice talking to you, but we've got to go" or "we don't know you, please leave us alone". If you're in a shop, you can also go to the front and quietly ask a clerk if they know this individual, and express concern that they are following you after you've asked that they not do so.
As far as the shoes issue is concerned, it depends on the part of the country you're from. Usually in places where you get a lot of rain and snow and inclement weather you take your shoes off at the door. I did growing up. now that I live in the desert it's a little bit different..
@@AyeeeItsCam I meant what I said, what part of the country you are from. The United States is a very large country. And depending on what part of America you are from you may not take your shoes off when you go in the house.. North America is a huge continent.. America is a large country.. The West Coast. The Southwest. The northeast. The Southeast. The Midwest. The upper peninsula. The South. Northwest. The planes. The Great Lakes. These are descriptors of the lower 48 not include Alaska or Hawaii.
@@AyeeeItsCam he wrote what part of the country you’re from. I’ll add to it that it also depends on the cultural background of a household. Cubans, where I grew up in South Florida, don’t normally take off their shoes inside. Generally Filipinos, where I now live in So Cal, fairly consisteny take off their shoes inside and may have indoor slippers available or not.
@@fsujavi16 I'm Chinese-Canadian. My parents always expected me to take off my shoes then change into slippers. Wearing flip-flops at home is also a big thing.
For the most part it’s accurate but always within the United States different regions may have different customs. And, different generations may have different views on etiquette
I'm Canadian so I get like the perfect mixture of these, although I also work at a kinda European cafe so we do get a lot of European ppl so this is pretty cool to see, and also hilarious to compare the American and British things in Canada
BTW, it is not only Canadians who call a bathrobe a house coat (Michigan, here)! I wear my robe over my clothes inside my house, esp. during the winter--heat down, house coat on!
@@kevinloving3141 I've been wearing one since I was a kid, because a cold house requires a constant wrap. And if I'm reading or working at home esp. during the winter, I wear a housecoat.
Raised in a Southern state, gifts were never opened for birthdays. The gift was tagged and a sincere thank you note was sent the day the gift was opened. Restaurants that do not provide a proper wait staff, always clear the table; however, if the proper wait staff is tending to your party, they have a method of clearing the table.
In regards to the cleaning up at a restaurant, I was always taught that you treat the restaurant like a friend who invited you to dinner. You may not wash the dishes but you make the mess easier to clean up. It’s just polite. The worst experience I’ve had with this is the time my son spit up his dinner at the table. I was desperately cleaning him and the floor and the manager of the restaurant told me not to worry about it and helped me clean up. I felt better leaving because I helped clean up. I could never leave a restaurant table without at least stacking the dishes.
I remember reading an article that interviewed restaurant wait staff, and one of their chief complaints was customers helping them to clean up. They have a certain way of doing things, and you may be inadvertently making it harder. It's their job, let them do it.
@@grahamsmith9541 I can't help it. I clean as I cook and eat and finish courses at home, so it's natural. Leaving a mess is outrageous at a restaurant.
as a chinese american, the shoes on in the house is actually disgusting. we always also change to inside slippers too. it actually also depends on the household but a lot of my friends have us take off shoes when visiting their homes. we even have extra slippers for guests that we clean regularly.
With the opening of a gift in front of the gift give we Americans are always prepared with with a smile and the phrase, Oh how nice.The oh gives you time to disguise the gasp of horror of looking at a dreadful gift.
Yes just depends on the people that own the house. A lot of people just say ,don’t worry about your shoes. But if they don’t say that then take them off. If going to a dinner party always bring a bottle of wine or flowers 💐
I think shoes off in the house is pretty common where I live, but it is something I think most people coming in to a house notice if the host is wearing shoes or stockings. I have never worn shoes in the house - even growing up. But I always say be comfortable when guests come - on or off is fine. Regular friends, though - shoes off.
Yes, where I grew up (NYC suburbs) it was very common to take off shoes at friends houses. Same at my house. Friends and family are expected to take their shoes off.
I agree..We don’t do this in the area I live in and I also don’t feel comfortable taking my shoes off at someone’s house.. Being barefoot is yucky to me!
I think that most American's have not been tourists and the majority of the US is not a tourist attraction. I think being a tourist in the US can be a happy novelty to most of America, especially small towns but since we haven't been tourists we don't know when to talk and when to be quiet. In real tourist areas, West Coast, East Coast we can give directions let you know what you might want to see and let it go, we are used to tourists in certain areas. I think British are so inundated with tourism that most Brits ignore the tourists, I get it. But in small town America hey some of us are just happy to see someone that we haven't known for thirty years. Have a great time! Loved your reaction video to Texas! Be Well.
Normally, in restaurants, cleaning up is NOT expected- the wait staff or bussing staff does that, but in fast food places one normally does dispose of their stuff...so not sure the establishments you went to
Exactly. There is nothing more irritating than to arrive at a table with someone else's rubbish still occupying the area, which you are left to clean up. I would always rather clean up my own rubbish than someone else's. Plus, it is a show of respect and consideration.
It’s not really immediately, but I get what you mean. Yeah I absolutely hate opening presents in front of people because even if I’m super happy with what I got, It doesn’t really show on my face.
I love the kissing etiquette that y’all have! I went to Costa Rica on a Church trip and it just made me feel closer (like family) to the people we were visiting faster! 💗
One of my favorite things about traveling is talking to people! I love to hear what other people think and express themselves. But chit chat is an art. Good chit chat is not too personal.! Talk about the beautiful building or the sudden rain, or the gorgeous flowers in the park. I’ve noticed that people in the UK are surprised, and then curious when we start up a conversation. They almost always give in to their curiosity in the end. People from Ireland, though, love to chat.
I don't make guest remove thier shoes if they are only in my home for dinner or an event at my home. Family or friends that are in my home on a normal basis will remove thier shoes, always. If I am given bad service at a restaurant, they do not receive a tip. Minor small talk is normal. Excessive is rude. I love your videos.
As an American I only say Hi as short talk but if I know that person I say more than just hi. But I unwrap present (like Christmas) in front of some. Wedding gifts I unwrap them at home with my other half
About the shoes in houses, that is done on a house by house, case by case. Etiquette is "When in Rome do as the Romans do". If you see shoes by the door, or they ask you to take them off you don't keep your shoes on. If they say they don't care, or that you can keep them on then do what makes you comfortable. Always expect that it will be shoes off, and if unsure or they don't say take shoes off to be polite. Having your shoes on in someone else's house is definitely not good etiquette, especially on any carpeting.
Those are all pretty much spot on, EXCEPT: The guy following you in the shoe store was not engaging in small talk; he had crossed the line, that may have been a mild personality disorder - the inability to get the hint that he had overstayed his welcome. The reason Americans open gifts as soon as they receive them is because if they put them away, ignore them or don't open them in the presence of the giver, it looks like they don't care about the gift or the gesture, that they don't value the gift or the friendship, it's not important. It's so not important, that they set aside the gift and open it up at a later time/date. That's the message being sent, and that would be very offensive to the giver.
I have been to stores in U.S. for the last 35+ years, since a child, and never ran into someone who followed me around like that. Definitely something up with that. Same thing with bad service at Denny's, I've never had someone so incompetent or slow like that. They got unlucky, apparently. ☺️
I always ask the gift giver if they want me to open a gift. Shoes on unless home owner says differently. Clean up fast food for sure. Restaurants, no. Love you guys.
My parents were from Brooklyn. They were both very quiet. I'm very quiet. Not all Americans are loud or like loud things... actually, I hate loud noise. Also, we always take our shoes off in the house.
shoes on in house is normal as we go in and out all the time, much time is spent outside and we go back and forth alot. its just easier to sweep and mop once at the end of the day. no carpet and never sit on floor
I'm in the UK doing alot of small talk on a train to Norfolk It's all lovely. A man talking about the work his son's are doing, a lady talking about a pending strike in Scotland, talking different stores for shopping women's clothing, crop planting etc. Must be a city folk vs country folk thing. There is a huge problem with loneliness in the world. "Small talk" is different the sales hustling or mindless chatter.
I think the shoe salesman might've been working on commission and wanted to be sure that if you made a purchase, that HE got credit for it. I also think that chatter from sales people/shop keepers is somewhat regional. In the southern US you'll definitely find a lot more friendliness. I know some people who take their shoes off in their homes but they don't usually require guests to do so. To be honest, as a person of a certain age, I can no longer walk barefoot due to arthritis so it would be quite uncomfortable to be without shoes. I guess I could carry along house shoes, huh?
I hear you on the shoe thing. I have had four back surgeries and just cannot walk barefoot on hard floors anymore. I try and have supportive shoes (slip on) that I only wear in the house. It is hard when I go to someone else’s house and have to remove my shoes-I generally don’t walk around or stay long.
@@CathyMiller0711 Hopefully the host will have slip on covers for your shoes. That’s what we give to guests who prefer to keep their shoes on in our house.
@@fsujavi16 Some families that do not wear shoes indoors have various house shoes at the doorway for guests to use. Kinda like slippers or flip flops usually. But many do wear shoes indoors and only remove them in winter or if just working in mud or other dirty situations. Some just walk around in their socks.
A) it WAS just the person B) think of small talk as a way to CONNECT with strangers! It should only ever be about generalized subjects albeit somewhat personal...for instance, do you live here? Where do YOU like to go for (fill in the space) and feel free to expound on their answers with questions that lead to more interesting answers! I LOVE striking up conversations with strangers, it really makes the human experience worth living!
I'm American and I never felt like I needed to open a gift immediately. I feel similarly to you both, it's just so awkward to do it in front of the giver.
@@cheshirecat6518 Nope. Never felt the need to. A simple, "How kind. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I look forward to opening this when I get home" is more than enough information to convey my stand on the matter.
@@cheshirecat6518 I agree that etiquette in the US is generally that people open gifts from immediate family in front of them. If my sister handed me a birthday present, I’d ask her if I could open it (or say I want to open it!). I would never just say ‘thanks’ and put the unopened gift on the table. Same with close friends. Of course, if we’re going to a dinner party at the home of a friend for his birthday and take a bottle of wine and a gift, I wouldn’t expect the wine or gift to be opened in my presence. I think it’s based on observation and expectations while growing up - not from an ‘etiquette book’.
If I’m at a sit down restaurant (as opposed to ordering at the registers), I always stack my dishes and try to leave the table as neatly as I can. I know the restaurant has people that will do that, but I was taught to implement that at home, and old habits die hard. Y’all would probably think I’m too forward, but I love to speak with strangers. Otherwise, how would one make new friends? I’m curious about people in general and learning about your culture and city is fascinating to me. Hence, that’s why I watch your channel.
And at home I was taught to rinse my plate after I ate, and put it in the dish drain, where mom would put it in the dishwasher, when I got home from school I was to empty the dishwasher, if there was something I didn't know where it went, I was to leave the door ajar a bit for mom to put it away . My mother had the pantry so organized she would phone before leaving work, I could open it and list off what was needed. Now when I visit she's got canned goods in the garage, basement, and the pantry,and 4 freezers full of stuff you can't fit a bottle of soda in a fridge shelf for all the half eaten takeout containers, that woman has enough to feed a army of rotten food I suppose, I don't trust most of it. And she says they're broke.. and go out for $40+ dinners more than 1x a week, I'm lucky to spend $20 a month on drive thru food
My experience in Western Europe was cool..definitely a different vibe..met some good people.. but the #1 thing I noticed was that everyone was stuck up, with their nose held high..like why??!! How bout ya just relax and go shopping in your pajamas!! 😂🤣😂 Maybe you won’t be so uptight 😂🤣😂
I've never worn shoes in someone else's house. I think the only exception is at a family function, where there are 20 + people and wouldn't be enough room at the front door for 40 shoes.
I’m glad that you said that. I get sooo annoyed with Bits that make tipping a must. Yes,You should if you can and it’s warranted. But,I don’t tip always. You may get something but it won’t be standard or extra if the service was horrible.
Just want to put my experiences out there. Small talk is a huge thing in the south where I live. It’s second nature to ask everyone how they’re doing, and fully expect a response back. It doesn’t last long, just 2 or 3 passes to each person, but it’s a big deal. The gift opening thing is a huge deal here, too. If you don’t open your gift immediately, it shows a lot of disrespect or lack of caring towards the giver. Lots of people think the receiver will just trash it once they’re out of sight if they don’t open it right there. Talking quietly is seen as rude where I’m from depending on the context. Kind of like it’s a lack of enthusiasm, passion, attention, and things of the sort. The shoes in the house thing is something that changes with each house you go to. More often than not, it’s perfectly fine to wear your shoes inside.. sometimes it’s rude though, but you’ll be told explicitly about the rule before hand. Tipping is another big thing down here. My family often made it a thing where we wouldn’t go out to eat unless we had a decent size cash tip. Even if the service is bad, they might be having a rough day, you always give them a tip. 15% is the bare minimum you’d pay, most people I know pay a bit more than that. Around 25% or so. I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced things like this up north, but the states I’ve been to and lived in down here have pretty much exactly what you said.
I live in the south and I agree with ev ery thing but the loud talking. I am not a loud talker and neither are my kids and nobody has acused me of being rude.
Really most of North America wears shoes in the home, Canada is probably where its the least common. But it is very common to wear shoes in the home in most of the countries between the U.S and Brazil. The U.S. gets a lot of attention for it, being a western country, but really it is not in anyway unique to the U.S.
We Canadians have long winters - except in BC. Nobody likes to walk around their space with wet or muddy shoes, and that applies to guests. That is why most of us have a rug inside doors for people to take their shoes off.
@@sib9769 Its a diverse continent with a history of immigration, sure there will many homes its not done in. But for most countries in North America wearing outdoor shoes in the home is the norm. See the other comments where people from Mexico said their grandparents would yell at them if they walked in the home without shoes on.
Putting the gift away instead of opening it would feel like you didn’t want it. Most of us like seeing the reaction, especially to more personal/sentimental gifts.
On their FAQ page, there's a Q that's "How long will delivery take" and it shows delivery to locations outside UK. There's a link there to Customer Service if you wish to verify.
Im an introvert from Oregon in the US. There’s a certain Mexican restaurant I used to go to, where the manager would just stand by our table and talk to us. At first we thought oh how nice, he’s friendly! But then he just stayed there and wouldn’t go away! Finally he got called away, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do!!
Most people I know take their shoes off at home and wear house shoes. I usually ask, and sometimes assume I should take my shoes off in someone's house, especially if they have carpet.
When it comes to the small talk one from employees, we are required to do that. If we aren't doing small talk then there's a chance it could mean we get fired. We have to show that were friendly and want to get to know our customer. And as a person that never wants to work customer service again, I never liked to do small talk, especially since I now have social anxiety
I'm American, and I'd have gotten uncomfortable with someone like the guy in the shoe store. I experienced the air kisses in French Polynesia back in '87. Kinda nice.
I’m America we have a few sayings about receiving and giving gifts.. 1. It’s better to give than receive 2. It’s the thought that counts If someone gives you a gift from the heart, then receive it from the heart…
The guy in the shoe store would have made me uncomfortable and I love to just casually chat with strangers. There are people who hang around malls and bustling public areas. They are lonely so they grab some one (not literally) that looks like a nice person. Then they proceed to tell you everything about themselves, ad nauseum. They also will, as you found out, follow you like you're all together as a group. They are generally harmless but have some mental issues and few friends. I just tell them I have to catch a bus or something and then walk off. No need to hurt their feelings. When I chat with a stranger it's something like, "Beautiful sweater you're wearing!" and they say thanks and we part ways, or if people are standing in line because the cashier has a problem, I might say something like, "I always choose the wrong lane!" or something non-committal. So, chatting with strangers is fine as long as it's not personal and only goes for a few sentences. Don't judge us all by one weirdo.
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Joel and Lia the reasoning for opening the gift in front of someone is you want to honor the person but there is a regift policy , if you don’t like it you kinda bite the bullet and then when you get home you start rewrapping the present immediately
What's with the channel name change.. I had to do a double take, and can't stop saying the channels old name
Small talk in the north of England and Scotland and maybe Ireland are common
I tried to order the deodorant but I'm in the US and didn't see where you could convert it into dollars. But, I did get a phone call from my sister which threw me off. Maybe I'll try again.
@@tammieparrishmiller3669 wut
You might find this surprising but …a lot of Americans really are interested in other peoples’ stories. We meet the nicest people that way.
Their shoe store experience was probably with an odd fellow who does not has social awareness. I am pretty sure people like that exist across the globe, but these two classify him as a typical encounter. BTW I don't think of Brits as the ones with etiquette I think of the upper class with etiquette.
Get bad service leave 1dollar and a penny .
If you don't open the gift right then and there some would take it the wrong way. They may think you don't want the gift or might not like it. It brings joy to watch people open gifts. It is normal here just something we always done.
It brings joy to the giver to see your appreciation. I fully understand that. I can imagine the recipient could feel put on the spot as well. If you DON'T open the gift right away, one might think you plan to give your gift to someone else - or re-gift it.
Here, (UK) it's really not the norm! It's seen as rude, like you are judging the gift, in front of everyone! I would hate it if someone did that! Unless its family or close friends obviously, then it's fine, but any other time, you politely thank them, then put the gift away and open it later, then privately thank them for it at a later date.
I’m American. I don’t like being put on the spot either.
Receiving a wrapped gift from a friend, say at a dinner party you're putting on, I think it would be a bit awkward to open it up right "then and there". First of all you're probably VERY busy and having to "gush" over a gift while stuff is cooking on the oven would be a bit awkward. I think I would thank the gift giver and just lay the wrapped gift down for later.
@@Ladyfire745 I feel it gives the giver the impress you don’t really care. Like when giving a gift I would want the person to feel so excited they can’t wait. To me it conveys that you are more appreciative of the thought and gesture than the actual gift which works out too if you don’t like it.
There is an explanation for American “friendliness” and small talk. We are, historically, a nation of immigrants. The only way immigrants can survive is by reaching out to integrate into a community. Thus “friendliness” has become part of our culture.
That's interesting. I'm a very reserved person but I'm far less reserved when I go abroad, especially when I have to speak French. My French isn't the best, but I can say pretty much anything I want to (after a fashion). Having to speak foreign makes me even less reserved because it's not my language and I don't know the nuances it's easier to kind of steamroller your way forward and any uptightness is banished...
It may also have to do with the early settlers in the United States, many of whom were Scottish, Scots-Irish, and Irish. When I visited New Zealand which was mostly settled by the English I found most people rather reserved and cold, except in the far south of the south island which was settled by the Scots - where I felt right at home.
Seriously though, every nation is a nation of immigrants, so I don't see how this explanation would apply to only Americans.
@@jenniferwarhawk7301 huh? which other country was build primarily by immigrants? The U.S. received 12 million immigrants between 1870-1900 alone. My family arrived in the 1850’s, along with millions of others.
@@bandit78100 Pretty much all of them. At one point the world was largely uninhabited. It was people moving from one place to the next that formed countries. Just because it wasn't called immigration doesn't mean it wasn't a foreign people coming into a new land and inhabiting it. Canada is the same, many South American countries are full of European immigrants, Mexico is full of Spanish descendants (from Spain), etc etc. All nations are nations of immigrants, it's immigration that caused nations to be populated in the first place. (Initially, I mean.) Is just that America is the most notable "nation of immigrants," so everyone thinks it's the only one. It isn't.
I think the biggest issue I had during a three week visit to London was the "coldness" of the people. There only person who seem outgoing and chatty was a girl from Ireland at a bagel shop in Victoria Station I stopped at every morning. About the third day she remembered me and asked where in The States I was from. From that day on she always chatted for a bit each morning. Everyone else was so closed-mouth when I smile and try to chat up the cashier or server in businesses. The only conversations I had were with the friends I was staying with in Penge. Now the person you mentioned in the shoe store would make most Americans uncomfortable as well. There is a line between amiable chit-chat and being weird.
New Yorkers are like that too
I remember taking a friend to London, who wanted a orange Fanta, the counter persons response was "flat or fizzy" or did he say still, to this day I'll never forget his asking, Fanta is ALWAYS carbonated BTW
@@christianc7420 When I got back to San Francisco most of the people were fairly friendly and willing to talk in businesses and such. I thought then there's definitely a cultural difference.
The Irish and English are 2 different species.
I'd probably be pretty ok with it as I'm not all that chatty (in person lol). However, I guess it would seem weird if other people didn't try to talk to me. Lol!
As an American, I, too, find the hovering, chatty salesperson in the store irritating. I don't think that's a cultural thing. The way to handle that is to politely say "If I need help with anything, I'll let you know. Thanks".
Yep, I have had that issue before.
Depends on where you are in USA. 😊 I am from Alabama where total strangers start up convos in elevators, something that is a no-no in the rest of America...and other nations. But here in the Deep South, a sales clerk chatting you up about the weather or last Saturday's college football game is quite common, as is your telling them that you have some physical ailment and they give you an anecdote of when they or a loved one had just such an ailment. I have grown accustomed to it and think nothing of it.
@@rchrisutoob happens in Missouri as well
@@rchrisutoob I've lived in Ohio all my life and I talk to people in lines, in an aisle in a store, just about anywhere. It's not just a Southern thing.
IMO the guy in the shoe store wasn't doing small talk; he was being creepy.
I've actually heard plenty of loud Brits on holiday. It's not just us loud Americans.
I don't know if this qualifies as etiquette or not, but it's totally okay in the USA to customize nearly anything about your meal at a restaurant.
This is funny that you mention it. I had a very famous dog named Faith, and when we traveled to NYC and were at the airports of hotels, it was always the Brits who were the loudest trying to catch up to us so they can have their picture taken with Faith. It was awesome!!
I lived overseas for 4 years, many loud very drink Brit’s. Lol
British on vacation in Majorca loudest most drunk people I've ever seen.
"Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us. All we ask is that you let us serve it your way."
@@craigplatel813 and Spain 😅
As a Canadian, I love opening gifts in front of the gift giver because I want the opportunity to compliment my friend for being so generous. But being the gift giver makes me want to die inside because I don’t like receiving compliments. Canadians are wedged between American friendliness and British stand-offishness. It becomes such a dilemma for us.
Same here. I like seeing the person's reaction and i like the opportunity to be appreciative.
😂😂😂
Hence all the smiles, followed by “sorry” whenever I go to Canada!
@@flyflorida2001 apologizing is truly an Olympic sport here. I’m not sure why we feel so guilty about things that are mostly not our fault. We often move through the world feeling like we’ve just robbed a bank; even though we definitely didn’t rob a bank. We’re a bit weird and skiddish that way. Of course I’m generalizing, but that’s how I am.
When I lived in the UK for 2 years, I was SHOCKED that people would stand up and walk away from their messes on tables. I saw it in the movie theater as well.
Sales people are told to chat up customers, to try to build a rapport. It's a technique. You don't have to feel rude, just tell them, thanks, we'll let you know if we need any help. The double kiss is seen as a upper crust, country club kind of gesture. People usually just give a hug to those they know well. Personal space.
Seems like another language difference. In the UK to chat up someone. Means you want a romantic relationship with them.
@@grahamsmith9541 lol definitely different.
@@grahamsmith9541 In US slang we would say: Spit game, rizz up, hit her up, etc
I'm a WASP. The family has been Reformed Church or Presbyterian since the arrival from the Netherlands. 12th generation born here and I find the European habit of hugging and kissing repugnant. My Aunt married into a family that is Italian but uses mostly French because they lived in Algeria until the French were kicked out. They do this kissy-huggy routine and I really hate it. I usually just step back and avoid them. `Even my cousins do it. I'm sure they think I'm stuck up but I honestly see it as an invasion of my space. I also do not like perfumes and I don't feel like smelling what you had for lunch. My last name is Sicilian butthat doesn't mean I engage in European customs.
Small talk isn't usually about personal things like family. The sales person was out of line and rather obnoxious in not taking the hint that his presence wasn't desired. A greeting and a "Let me know if I can be of help" is sufficient. It's worse at car lots. Leave me your card and go. I'm the type who will look you up when I'm ready to talk since you were the first to greet me. I have left stores and bought nothing when the salespeople were being too aggressive.
It’s absolutely ok to wait and open a gift, but DO open it at some point during your visit. It’s better American etiquette to say “Oh thank you! should I open this now?”. The exceptions are, when you receive a gift meant to be shared such as cheese, or wine. Open these immediately. Take a minute to note how thoughtful, notice the details. Second exception is if the person says “open it!!! “. They are excited to give you something special. Hopefully you’ll love it and not have to fake your happiness. If you don’t like it find something you do like such as the color or usefulness or focus on the fact your friend was so kind to you! That is how it’s done!
Giving someone a bottle of wine does not come with the expectation that it needs to be opened and consumed immediately. You should never expect a gift recipient to share their gift with you or anybody else. Once you give it, it is theirs to do with as they please.
@@fordhouse8b that’s true. I ask if this was to share tonight. We live near Napa so it is often assumed that wine gifts would be shared that evening.
Yeah, I say "Thank you for thinking of me," if I don't like it. Because I find it sweet they went out of their way to get me a gift, nonetheless. And yeah, always nown to open and share food and drink gifts. Unless it's a special bottle or something small, receiver asks, "Shall I open it? Giver might say "it's just for you"
Most people I know would expect the gift to be opened immediately. I think it’s rude to except a gift and not open it.
The Georgia guy WAS rude: that wasn't small talk, that was just invasive, and most of us would have found a way to get out of it... well, I would have...
Agreed, I hate running into people like that. They refuse to get a hint until you have to be rude.
It's all about sells, many department stores in malls in the US are quite annoying, I don't even want to walk by some of them especially if they're standing at the door, don't even speak to me and don't make eye contact!
If that stalking scene really occurred the way you described it, you should have screamed ‘security’ and made a run for it!😂 It was a lot more than just etiquette!
Completely agree. Store guy was weirdo ....not America culture
@@TomGioia They said it was in Philadelphia though
The shoes thing really depends on the house. Some are strictly no shoes and some aren't.
My experience of this is that there are two factors at play: age of the homeowner and region. Older homeowners are least likely to have any kind of no shoes rule. I think it's because of the era they came to adulthood in. People were more formal. No shoes is informal. Then, I found that Hawaii is a place where almost no one wore shoes in a house. A bit of the Asian way, and a desire to not track red dirt all over the floor. This was also the case in Alaska because of snow/mud and really heavy boots.
The guy in the shoe store was definitely an outlier. Most of us on the side of the pond would think him very strange.
Mistake #1 was going to Dennys while the sun was out lol. That's more of a "it's 2am and I'm drunk and hungry" kind of place to eat.
Of all the places to eat these cheap bums go to Dennys 😂😂😂
I'm from the UK (English) and I absolutely haaaate it when I can't watch someone open their present/s. Gift-giving is a big thing for me, I am someone who usually puts a lot of thought and time into buying gifts for people (and wrapping them nicely, sometimes adding a little cryptic clue on the tag etc..) and my most favourite part is watching them open them, I feel very disappointed if they don't and put them to the side for later or another day. This happened a lot with covid when we could only drop presents off over Christmas etc.. It was so awful.
Small talk - I don't mind a tiny bit, but if it's to the extent that the person follows you around, that would drive me mad. I do have to engage in small talk often myself as I work on a till in a shop, but when I'm out shopping myself, the only person I want to talk to is myself (I do that alot in shops haha!)
Tips - only leave a tip if the service was really good.
Kissing cheek greeting - Usually only with family (I don't live in London, maybe Londoners do this more). Hugs for friends.
Loudness - no thanks.
Shoes off - Will always go to take shoes off when entering someones house, but if they say not to worry about the shoes then will keep them on, especially if everyone else has.
Clearing up - I will clean up if there is a visable place to put the trays, cups etc..
Tips are mandatory in the US. Servers live off of the tips that they earn. Large tips would be for extraordinary service. 15% is the baseline.
I can’t imagine giving a gift and NOT watching it being opened. I would consider it rude and would be upset if they didn’t open it while I was there.
Ikr
Absolutely
I'd be mortified if I had to open a present in front of the person who gave it me, even if it's something I really like.
We've all been brainwashed through the years culturally. Can't imagine being mortified opening a gift in front of the friend who spent time and money to bring me that gift. But I am wondering how you respond once you open it, do you call them or never discuss the gift?
I am extremely uncomfortable opening gifts other than from close family with them there. And, yes I am from US
I have always done like Lia and stack the dishes in a restaurant. My children still do it. I want to make the servers job easier.
Same. My family has always stacked the dishes to make it easier on the server.
Same. A lot of people I’ve talked to said it’s harder on them though as they (each server) has a way they like to do things and they are used to that let’s them work faster. I was surprised but it actually made sense in a way. I still do it though as it’s a hard habit to get out of.
Depends on how fancy the restaurant is, I would in a fast food, but not in a higher end restaurant.
@@valeriea475 I have known many people that have worked as servers through the years. Most have said they prefer to do the clean up for the same reason.
I don’t stack dishes. I just put all the napkins and trash on the plates so they can easily pick it up and dump it, and then they can stack dishes however they like
My daughter and I love to give gifts and when people open in front of us we get so excited to see how much they like them . We take great care to make sure it’s something they love.
I think the shoes thing varies from home to home and whether it's muddy outside or not. Cause if people have smelly feet I would much rather them keep their shoes on.
i think if it's muddy, a lot of people would take their shoes off
The shoe thing does vary, and obviously if they are muddy you wouldn't want to track mud into someone's home. But the reason you don't take them off is because it would be considered too informal, treating someone else's home like it was your own. It would be like going into someone's kitchen and helping yourself to whatever is in the fridge. You may do it with family or someone you know well, but you don't generally "make yourself at home" unless invited to do so.
I'm from Ohio, and I was raised no shoes in the house, and my children have been raised the same way.🤷🏾♀️
We've always taken shoes off. Occasionally, when visiting someone's house, they'll say it's fine to leave your shoes on. When a family from Texas via Arkansas moved to the Midwest, they were surprised by the etiquette of no shoes in the house.
@@evadj27 lol I'm from the Texas Panhandle, that's why I say it varies from house to house.
Cleaning up after yourself is just a polite thing, so we in America appreciate you! 🥰 Love the sit down chats, I miss those, nice to pepper them in with the travel vlogs. Love you guys, can’t wait for the next one! ❤️❤️❤️
It took me living with a person who lived in the UK twice to tell me that putting my silverware crossed on the plate I was done, and the server was free to take it. Here in the USA it's very common to have to ask/beg your server to clear your table, personally I'd like to show I've got room for a dessert, and if it's not busy, have another round of beverages before being hustled out the door.. although in the states I've had the opposite happen too, the busboy had been by 4x in a secluded dining area where I was eating a nice steak dinner with my partner, I finally had to tell the manager how uninviting it felt [the chain failed soon thereafter, nationally].
If I stack dinnerware up and put it at the edge of the table for a server to take next time their empty handed and pass by, it means take it by all means, if I have to sit there looking at dirty empty dishes, you will see a reduction in your tip. Likewise, if I have to ask 3x for a refill on a drink and you are still ignoring the previous requests, I typically will think my business isn't desired here.
I def don’t want my server taking dirty dishes away. Nooooo
@@tedsmith7814 why, do you like it looking like you just pigged out?
Should be a busperson taking dishes away. Do you think your server washes their hands every 30 seconds or after the 100’s of times per day they handle other people’s silverware?
Me, too!
Just a disclaimer for non-Americans: Every Denny's is managed differently, so an experience at one is not indicative of all Denny's. It's like Subway, where one might have wonderful fresh subs, while another might have really mushy wilted toppings. One might have good staff, and another might have rude staff.
Also after your meal is done, you can complain to the manager if you had a bad experience. Some places have a suggestion box in which customers can complain or praise an employee. This may have a better effect than not leaving a tip, because the employee might just think that someone is just cheap when they don't leave a tip and not that there was a problem with the service
The sales person...I'm American and I HATE THAT!!! When I go into a shop I want to browse...leave. me. alone. If I need assistance I'll ask for it! If that guy followed me around like that, he'd be following me right out the door as I went somewhere else! LOL
To be fair though, a lot of sales people do that because they earn commission and want to make sure they get the sale. Like used car salesman...ugh...don't get me started lol
We had a store here in America that went out of business about 20 years ago, it was known to have people riding your shirt tails back then, I'm guessing wanting that commission/sales bonus.. we learned fast, we called the store ahead of time to find out what was not in stock, and sent each leech to find out what store had it. I usually tell a floor walker, thank you for letting me know you work here, if I need help I will come to you.
I agree 100% but u dont need to double space in between your comment. Making ppl click the Read More is almost as annoying as someone following u around in a store
I lived in England for 15 years and I never encountered ANYONE who removed their shoes coming into the house - unless they were obviously muddy or wet. And I knew people from ALL social classes! So this one has me smh! 🇺🇸🤦🏼♀️
This comment makes me think of Eluzabeth Bennett (of Pride & Prejudice) & the comment abt her messy appearance after walking to Netherfield. Would they have taken their shoes off back then? I doubt it, so when did this custom change? Was it only after carpeting became a thing? That'd be my guess, although I have no idea if/when carpeting replaced hardwood floors in England.
And conversely I think foreigners would be shocked at the number of USAmerican homes with shoe racks (which they use) by the door. Or how common it is to ask the home owner/host do they prefer shoes on or off.
Shoe etiquette in the USA 1) is pretty complex and 2) vastly different depending on region and social class
Pay no attention to Joke and Liar. They are obnoxious. 🤮
In Canada a bathrobe is usually a terrycloth robe used for bathing or showering. A house coat is usually worn over your pjs or nightgown when just getting up from bed or just before going to bed.
Sometimes customers think they’re being helpful by stacking their plates, or moving things around to tidy up the table, but depending on how the tables are bussed (cleared), you could be making more work for the person who has to clear/carry the dishes away.
I hate dirty dishes sitting in front of me after I eat. Soon as I’m finished, I need the dishes gone or pushed to the side. It’s so freaking gross to me.
I hate it when people stack their plates up-it means having to wash BOTH sides of their plates.
@@so.many.obstacles Interesting. I’m the opposite. I actually like sitting with the empty plate as it helps me digest, and feel more full.
If I wanted to clean a table after eating, I'd stay home. If you want to make the busser's job easier, don't be a slob.
@@jash6981 you should was both sides anyway 🤷, the bottom of the plate sits on dirty surfaces
I will say the server at Dennys did sound like he was doing crap job. But please please don't always blame the server when food comes out wrong or in shifts it's not always our fault but the kitchens.
Agreed. I tipped the server in every sit-down restaurant I ever went to, with only one exception, 20 years ago. They sat me in the smoking session when I said no. They got my order completely wrong. And they couldn't be found when I needed them. I had to eat, so I ate the wrong meal, got up and paid at the front, and left. No asking for change, no additional gratuity, nothing. (To be fair, the restaurant was very busy that day. It's no excuse for terrible service. But I won't insult a server ever. Just, no tip.) I went back a week later and everything was fine, and I left a good tip for that meal. That's how it works.
his comment on how the server should be fired, maybe their server was another never worked a real job, stuck-up you tuber
That’s what I was thinking. Sometimes, some places are super busy but I never blame the server who is just doing their job
Ha! We were at a tourist spot in the Netherlands and my chatty husband was trying so hard to make friends! I finally chuckled and said, “Sorry, y’all. My Texan man will talk your ear off if you let him.” They all laughed too ( probably because of the y’all). It broke the ice, though, and we were able to visit more. The Brits in the line were actually the friendliest!
American here. First time in the UK. Stopped at Beaconsfield Service Plaza. Stopped to have breakfast and thought how arrogant that all these people have left their trash on the tables.
I have never seen that before at Service Plaza's. Perhaps that was a one off? -Been living in England for 4 months (American)
@@MienemLeben didn't even know it was a thing until I saw this video lol. But I thought of that time immediately. Enjoy the UK. It's wonderful.
So if you don't open the gift in front of the person, do you just say Thank you and never talk about what they gave you? Here in the US, wedding gifts are usually not opened until they are by themselves, but they keep track of what was received, sending a thank you note within a month or so. Baby showers, to open your gifts Is a big part of the party so everyone can see, so I guess I'm saying different situations decide whether you open them or not. Tipping here is just crazy, and I agree if the service is awful, speak up as to why you aren't leaving a tip, gives them an opportunity to learn. Always fun to see you, thank you.
I work fast food and if someone left their trash at the table that piss us off. Fast food workers don't get tips and there is less of us workers. Yesterday there was only 3 of us. My manager was running the restaurant from the backline. We had one person running fryers. Then me everything else. We don't have time to clean up after people. Just a quick spray with cleaner and a quick wipe. It is rude and we always think to ourselves is this how they have their homes?
The kiss-kiss thing we definitely don’t do. As far as cleaning up in a restaurant for fast food where you don’t tip, I bus my own table. In a sit-down where a tip is expected I’ll usually stack dishes and leave them for the wait staff
I always see the kiss kiss thing as fake and phony. Why do you have to get up that close to someone to do a fake kiss ? its just odd to this American.
the only time i see people kissing is among family or very close friends. otherwise, yeah, not too common.
@@kimberlywilson7929 THIS.!!!! This the true etiquette. Close family or friends not someone you meet on the street.
FYI - You said your house shoes were “aka slippers” and “aka flip flops”, but in the U.S. those are not at all the same type of shoe. Slippers are indoor shoes that are usually quite soft and only meant to be worn around the house. Flip flops are shoes worn most commonly to the pool or the beach. They are frequently made of some sort of rubber (though not always), and the heel will snap up to your heel with each step. It’s true that some slippers (though not all by a large margin) will also have a “loose” heel similar to a flip flop, but they rarely snap up the same way, and even if they did, they would still be very different due to the softness of a slipper vs flip flops generally being relatively hard/firm. And slippers are usually meant to be warm, whereas flip flops are not since they are meant to be worn in warm weather outside.
Replaced* Sorry, the bubble in the protective covering makes for typos.
I get JOY in watching others open my gifts. But there are cases where opening a gift isn't convenient, so that I understand. And we are definitely a SHOES OFF house! My family wasn't growing up, but then, when my husband I had a new apartment and new carpets, we didn't want them ruined. I also don't like tracking in whatever is outside - pesticides, pollen, muck, whatever. My SIL is SE Asian, our best friends are from India and my son's best friend is half Japanese. They are VERY strict about shoes off as a custom. My inlaws even got us a front door mat with the Queen of Hearts that says, "OFF with your shoes!" 🤣
Here in Ohio, and most of the country (apart from some big cities), it's normal to nod and smile at people as you walk past them or stand near them, say waiting for an elevator, or riding in one, but it's not automatic. If you chat, it's something totally innocuous, such as "hello" and maybe, "oh isn't it hot?" or "too bad about the Bengals last night" (meaning, the local football team). Mostly you learn to read the cues, and maybe some people don't really want to talk or feel comfortable, and that's fine.
But then you have some folks who absolutely cannot read the cues, and that's what may have happened with that fellow in Georgia.
If you wonder about why people are this way -- and more reserved in cities -- I think it's like this. In most places in the U.S., people feel safe, especially when everything around them is familiar; but in big cities, things can be different and uncertain, so people may be more guarded.
When I traveled abroad, I would try to be humble and acknowledge my language difficulties and simply ask for help and at least know how to say please and thank you in the local language. I remember striking up converstations with locals in many places, often because people there were curious about me as -- so they accurately guessed -- an American. I like to think I was good at reading the cues overseas, but who knows?
The gift opening thing for me has always depended on the situation and the gift-giver. If I am having a birthday party, I collect the gifts throughout and open them all at once at the end. If I am hanging out with a singular friend and they give me a gift, I’ll open right there in front of them since it’s a much more intimate/personal setting and I don’t have other peoples gifts to also worry about. But regardless, the giver WILL see me open it.
In all honesty, the British etiquette makes zero sense to me lol I can’t imagine going through the trouble of selecting a gift for someone and then just never getting the chance to see their reaction? Is it just forgotten about forever and never discussed? And this is coming from someone who isn’t even that big into gift-giving.
The shoes on inside, I’m totally with you guys on that. As soon as I got my own apartment I made a no shoes inside rule and now when I think about shoes being worn indoors I think it’s sooo gross…
I like to open gifts in front of people as well but the main reason is so I can thank them right there or else I will forget. Also the reaction if I spent time finding you a good gift I want to see your reaction. If you hate it I’ll know and can try better next time.
I like to take the gift home and open in private. It gives me time to compose a message of sincere gratitude or an opportunity to make a phone call to thank them. I probably seem rude at times, especially since I’m an introvert.
The gift giving is so the person doesn't feel under pressure with their reactions. We ask if they liked it latter on.
Shoes off at the door is more popular in areas where there are more immigrants. I’m in NYC and do it automatically. Sometimes people will tell you to keep them on but most guest will at least ask if they should.
To really convey the message that you hated the service, leave a penny. Then they know for sure. Otherwise he/she may have assumed you tipped on the credit card receipt.
My mother was a waitress. A penny definitely says “ your a terrible wait person
A nickle is even more insulting.
savage, but you're right
Americans come from all over and many retain European habits from "the old country" as my Grandmother called Spain.
American "etiquette, " as you squeamishly and oxymoronically call it, varies tremendously by locale. I live far enough south to be in the habit of briefly acknowledging a passing stranger... but in Philadelphia or NYC, I'd probably get pepper-sprayed.
Same here in Houston Texas I always greet passerbys on the sidewalk. And my step father would greet other motorists.
are you kidding? In NYC they'd talk your ear off!
Absolutely! I’ve lived in several regions of the US and how strangers behave is completely different in each region. I’m from the Midwest - we behave much like the south. In the southwest - no acknowledgement at all. I’m now in New England where it lands somewhere in between. We are a nation separated by regions.
I'm from Chicago and we are pretty friendly, but we kind of amiably mind our own business. But striking up a bit of a conversation with a stranger isn't unusual.
I never take my shoes off in my house and I would never tell anyone else to take their shoes off either.
Never, not even at bedtime?
Some people here do the air kiss too. Some will even actually kiss the cheek of the other person. Some people just hug and some don't want you in their space so they just smile and say hi and ask how the other person is doing.
Not being stereotypical but don’t Italians kiss on the cheek during greetings? And yes it is usually only with family and people that you’re really close to.
@@Kim-427 unfortunately some people think they are close to everyone. If I don't know you I don't want you touching me except for a handshake, and sometimes not even then 😄
I’m surprised by the “small talk” point because you two are clearly good at it, based on the friends you’ve made at the NASCAR museum, the Eastern State Penitentiary, etc.
“Shoes off” houses are definitely in the tiny minority here, but I think the trend is growing. I married into an Indian family, so the habit is 100% ingrained in me now. Also, where I live we have snow and ice ~5 months of the year. To avoid puddles/etc. it’s very common to find a mat or rug just inside the door of most homes here.
Thanks for another fun one!
🙋♀️💐
Lol, so true, Joel and Lia are quite the masters of small talk. Personally it would feel very awkward to me if we didn't. But in the situation in the shoe store where he followed them around, I wouldn't like either.
I live in western Canada. In our case, a rug inside the door is an absolute must. Who wants to clean up wet snowprints?
Working in a grocery store I see this more often then I should. There are a handful of regulars who some have mental disabilities who really just will talk to you for half an hr about random things including there entire life history and as an employee you can’t be rude or anything but sometimes it’s hard to do your job when there literally keep talking. I know these people are total sweethearts and don’t really understand that we don’t have time to have a whole conversation especially being under staff
@@mayloo2137 That’s the case here in Minnesota (north-central U.S.) as well: boots/shoes stay on the rug/mat by the door
@@bkm2797 I wouldn’t have liked that shoe store clerk either. Too intrusive
#1 I’m fascinated by your choice of Denny’s. In the Pacific Northwest it’s sort of our version of a Waffle House. Eat there once and you’ll never need to go again.
#2 It’s definitely “normal” to open one’s gift in front of the gift giver, but it is also ok to ask if you should. I usually ask, “should I open this now?” then I go with what they want. Sometimes people are just as uncomfortable watching someone open a gift as the one opening it.
#3 The employee in the shoe store - customer service, to the point of being intrusive, is sometimes pushed by an employer. It doesn’t happen very often to me but I will stop, make eye contact with them, smile, and say, “oh, well that’s interesting. I’ll let you know if I need your help.” Then I walk away. Direct and efficient 😂
As an aside, the air kisses are great to watch other people do (they make me feel warm and cozy) but seem SO intimate for me, but I don’t hug many people either. I sound like a freaking hermit. 😬😆
As a child, I use to go barefoot in the summers in the South. So, I do not wear shoes in the house because we just did not wear shoes in the house. The only time I wear shoes in the house is when I am coming back from going out to the store or other places. Something else to consider, is that many American houses are a lot bigger than the typical English house. Many have hardwood floors, especially in the South, and they are swept and mopped daily. Of course, our porches were also swept daily too.
You take away the joy of watching someone open something if you take it away!
And we are trained since we are young at birthday parties to watch gift openings. It's fun to see people's joy at something you gave them. And even if you don't like the gift, it's good practice to be courteous and appreciative that you were given a gift to begin with. Plus, you get to thank the giver immediately and not take the chance that you'll forget to do it later. I think weddings might be the only place you don't open gifts in front of everyone because of time constraints. Then you have to write a slew of thank you notes afterwards.
Most people I know and I also usually say, "Do you want me to open it now?"
Before I leave hotels I gather all of the bath linens as well as bed linens in one heap and bag all of my trash so that all they have to do is clean up. I worked in hotels for 16 years so it's just been a habit.
I do this as well. Not only to save them time, but also to ensure I didn’t leave something. I also started removing the linens because I heard that some housekeepers will, “pop the sheets” instead of putting on fresh linens.
I usually put my bath linens on the bathroom sink, so they don't have to bend down and pick them up after me.
I think one of the best things I've ever heard from American gift recipients is the question of "is it alright if I open when I'm home, or would you prefer I open here?" I think it's one of the most considerate questions out there, because just as Lia was saying she'd be afraid she may not like it, as a gift giver, I wouldn't want you to feel pressured to act any particular way. If asked the question, I usually respond that it's up to the recipient & their levels of comfort. 😊
It sounds to me like the person following you either had a mental condition (the fact that they would speak to your backs when you were clearly continuing on, uninterested) or was up to no good (insisting to know where you're from), so please be careful with that in future. It is 100% okay to turn and say something like, "it was nice talking to you, but we've got to go" or "we don't know you, please leave us alone". If you're in a shop, you can also go to the front and quietly ask a clerk if they know this individual, and express concern that they are following you after you've asked that they not do so.
As far as the shoes issue is concerned, it depends on the part of the country you're from. Usually in places where you get a lot of rain and snow and inclement weather you take your shoes off at the door. I did growing up. now that I live in the desert it's a little bit different..
@@AyeeeItsCam I meant what I said, what part of the country you are from. The United States is a very large country. And depending on what part of America you are from you may not take your shoes off when you go in the house..
North America is a huge continent.. America is a large country..
The West Coast. The Southwest. The northeast. The Southeast. The Midwest. The upper peninsula. The South. Northwest. The planes. The Great Lakes. These are descriptors of the lower 48 not include Alaska or Hawaii.
@@AyeeeItsCam he wrote what part of the country you’re from. I’ll add to it that it also depends on the cultural background of a household. Cubans, where I grew up in South Florida, don’t normally take off their shoes inside. Generally Filipinos, where I now live in So Cal, fairly consisteny take off their shoes inside and may have indoor slippers available or not.
@@fsujavi16 Yeah, I misread it. That's why the comments were deleted lol. I felt dumb ha
@@fsujavi16 I'm Chinese-Canadian. My parents always expected me to take off my shoes then change into slippers. Wearing flip-flops at home is also a big thing.
@@mayloo2137 in my experience in so cal, most asian homes take off their outside shoes too.
Cleaning up the table is just a polite thing in america
For the most part it’s accurate but always within the United States different regions may have different customs. And, different generations may have different views on etiquette
My Mom, has always made " Everyone" take off their Shoes, before entering!
I'm Canadian so I get like the perfect mixture of these, although I also work at a kinda European cafe so we do get a lot of European ppl so this is pretty cool to see, and also hilarious to compare the American and British things in Canada
BTW, it is not only Canadians who call a bathrobe a house coat (Michigan, here)! I wear my robe over my clothes inside my house, esp. during the winter--heat down, house coat on!
@@jss61 eh, I call them bathrobes, some of my family call them housecoats tho so I switch sometimes depending
I always thought house coats were women's informal wear mostly worn by women 60 and up.
@@kevinloving3141 I've been wearing one since I was a kid, because a cold house requires a constant wrap. And if I'm reading or working at home esp. during the winter, I wear a housecoat.
Raised in a Southern state, gifts were never opened for birthdays. The gift was tagged and a sincere thank you note was sent the day the gift was opened. Restaurants that do not provide a proper wait staff, always clear the table; however, if the proper wait staff is tending to your party, they have a method of clearing the table.
In regards to the cleaning up at a restaurant, I was always taught that you treat the restaurant like a friend who invited you to dinner. You may not wash the dishes but you make the mess easier to clean up. It’s just polite. The worst experience I’ve had with this is the time my son spit up his dinner at the table. I was desperately cleaning him and the floor and the manager of the restaurant told me not to worry about it and helped me clean up. I felt better leaving because I helped clean up. I could never leave a restaurant table without at least stacking the dishes.
Exactly 👍🏼 well said.
I remember reading an article that interviewed restaurant wait staff, and one of their chief complaints was customers helping them to clean up. They have a certain way of doing things, and you may be inadvertently making it harder. It's their job, let them do it.
all the waiters i know say they hate it when people do that. i can't remember the reason why, but i believe that helping them is unwanted.
Customers stacking the dishes often makes the job harder. As it disrupts the clearing routine.
@@grahamsmith9541 I can't help it. I clean as I cook and eat and finish courses at home, so it's natural.
Leaving a mess is outrageous at a restaurant.
I would love to see a video of y’all with an actual American couple so you can talk first hand loved experiences.
as a chinese american, the shoes on in the house is actually disgusting. we always also change to inside slippers too. it actually also depends on the household but a lot of my friends have us take off shoes when visiting their homes. we even have extra slippers for guests that we clean regularly.
With the opening of a gift in front of the gift give we Americans are always prepared
with with a smile and the phrase, Oh how nice.The oh gives you time to disguise the gasp of horror of looking at a dreadful gift.
Actually the “shoes off at the door” is only etiquette in certain regions of the U.S.
Yes just depends on the people that own the house. A lot of people just say ,don’t worry about your shoes. But if they don’t say that then take them off. If going to a dinner party always bring a bottle of wine or flowers 💐
I think shoes off in the house is pretty common where I live, but it is something I think most people coming in to a house notice if the host is wearing shoes or stockings. I have never worn shoes in the house - even growing up. But I always say be comfortable when guests come - on or off is fine. Regular friends, though - shoes off.
@@sharonlewer4088 Yes. Bring a gift and those are two safe choices
Yes, where I grew up (NYC suburbs) it was very common to take off shoes at friends houses. Same at my house. Friends and family are expected to take their shoes off.
I agree..We don’t do this in the area I live in and I also don’t feel comfortable taking my shoes off at someone’s house.. Being barefoot is yucky to me!
I think that most American's have not been tourists and the majority of the US is not a tourist attraction. I think being a tourist in the US can be a happy novelty to most of America, especially small towns but since we haven't been tourists we don't know when to talk and when to be quiet. In real tourist areas, West Coast, East Coast we can give directions let you know what you might want to see and let it go, we are used to tourists in certain areas. I think British are so inundated with tourism that most Brits ignore the tourists, I get it. But in small town America hey some of us are just happy to see someone that we haven't known for thirty years. Have a great time! Loved your reaction video to Texas! Be Well.
Normally, in restaurants, cleaning up is NOT expected- the wait staff or bussing staff does that, but in fast food places one normally does dispose of their stuff...so not sure the establishments you went to
Exactly. There is nothing more irritating than to arrive at a table with someone else's rubbish still occupying the area, which you are left to clean up. I would always rather clean up my own rubbish than someone else's. Plus, it is a show of respect and consideration.
i think they are talking about, like, chipotle's or wendy's. if there is no waiter, you usually clear out your own stuff.
It’s not really immediately, but I get what you mean. Yeah I absolutely hate opening presents in front of people because even if I’m super happy with what I got, It doesn’t really show on my face.
I love the kissing etiquette that y’all have! I went to Costa Rica on a Church trip and it just made me feel closer (like family) to the people we were visiting faster! 💗
Love you two. Continue the good work. You’re doing more for people than you realize.
Concerning the gift thing: I think you’re overthinking it. Just open it, say thank you with no theater, and that’s it. 😂
I agree but I still think if prefer the method where no one watches.
One of my favorite things about traveling is talking to people! I love to hear what other people think and express themselves. But chit chat is an art. Good chit chat is not too personal.! Talk about the beautiful building or the sudden rain, or the gorgeous flowers in the park. I’ve noticed that people in the UK are surprised, and then curious when we start up a conversation. They almost always give in to their curiosity in the end. People from Ireland, though, love to chat.
I don't make guest remove thier shoes if they are only in my home for dinner or an event at my home. Family or friends that are in my home on a normal basis will remove thier shoes, always.
If I am given bad service at a restaurant, they do not receive a tip.
Minor small talk is normal. Excessive is rude.
I love your videos.
As an American I only say Hi as short talk but if I know that person I say more than just hi. But I unwrap present (like Christmas) in front of some. Wedding gifts I unwrap them at home with my other half
About the shoes in houses, that is done on a house by house, case by case. Etiquette is "When in Rome do as the Romans do".
If you see shoes by the door, or they ask you to take them off you don't keep your shoes on.
If they say they don't care, or that you can keep them on then do what makes you comfortable.
Always expect that it will be shoes off, and if unsure or they don't say take shoes off to be polite.
Having your shoes on in someone else's house is definitely not good etiquette, especially on any carpeting.
Shoes carry alot of dirt and grime, Im always respectful of People who don't want that trapsed into Thier Home.
Those are all pretty much spot on, EXCEPT: The guy following you in the shoe store was not engaging in small talk; he had crossed the line, that may have been a mild personality disorder - the inability to get the hint that he had overstayed his welcome. The reason Americans open gifts as soon as they receive them is because if they put them away, ignore them or don't open them in the presence of the giver, it looks like they don't care about the gift or the gesture, that they don't value the gift or the friendship, it's not important. It's so not important, that they set aside the gift and open it up at a later time/date. That's the message being sent, and that would be very offensive to the giver.
The shoe salesman might've also been on commission and wanted to be sure if they made a purchase that HE got credit for it.
@@CathyMiller0711 LOL, sounds like he talked himself right out of a sale.
I have been to stores in U.S. for the last 35+ years, since a child, and never ran into someone who followed me around like that. Definitely something up with that. Same thing with bad service at Denny's, I've never had someone so incompetent or slow like that. They got unlucky, apparently. ☺️
@@teebrowne-prince3085 He surely did!
I'm from the UK and that's the way I feel as the giver if people do that, I love to watch presents being opened.
I always change into slippers when I get home.
I always ask the gift giver if they want me to open a gift. Shoes on unless home owner says differently. Clean up fast food for sure. Restaurants, no. Love you guys.
My parents were from Brooklyn. They were both very quiet. I'm very quiet. Not all Americans are loud or like loud things... actually, I hate loud noise. Also, we always take our shoes off in the house.
shoes on in house is normal as we go in and out all the time, much time is spent outside and we go back and forth alot. its just easier to sweep and mop once at the end of the day. no carpet and never sit on floor
I'm in the UK doing alot of small talk on a train to Norfolk It's all lovely. A man talking about the work his son's are doing, a lady talking about a pending strike in Scotland, talking different stores for shopping women's clothing, crop planting etc. Must be a city folk vs country folk thing. There is a huge problem with loneliness in the world. "Small talk" is different the sales hustling or mindless chatter.
I think the shoe salesman might've been working on commission and wanted to be sure that if you made a purchase, that HE got credit for it. I also think that chatter from sales people/shop keepers is somewhat regional. In the southern US you'll definitely find a lot more friendliness. I know some people who take their shoes off in their homes but they don't usually require guests to do so. To be honest, as a person of a certain age, I can no longer walk barefoot due to arthritis so it would be quite uncomfortable to be without shoes. I guess I could carry along house shoes, huh?
I hear you on the shoe thing. I have had four back surgeries and just cannot walk barefoot on hard floors anymore. I try and have supportive shoes (slip on) that I only wear in the house. It is hard when I go to someone else’s house and have to remove my shoes-I generally don’t walk around or stay long.
@@maryannebrown2385 I'm glad I'm not alone!
@@CathyMiller0711 Hopefully the host will have slip on covers for your shoes. That’s what we give to guests who prefer to keep their shoes on in our house.
@@fsujavi16 That's a very thoughtful option.
@@fsujavi16 Some families that do not wear shoes indoors have various house shoes at the doorway for guests to use. Kinda like slippers or flip flops usually. But many do wear shoes indoors and only remove them in winter or if just working in mud or other dirty situations. Some just walk around in their socks.
A) it WAS just the person
B) think of small talk as a way to CONNECT with strangers! It should only ever be about generalized subjects albeit somewhat personal...for instance, do you live here? Where do YOU like to go for (fill in the space) and feel free to expound on their answers with questions that lead to more interesting answers! I LOVE striking up conversations with strangers, it really makes the human experience worth living!
I'm American and I never felt like I needed to open a gift immediately. I feel similarly to you both, it's just so awkward to do it in front of the giver.
Have you ever ASKED the giver if it was ok? I'm fairly certain they were insulted and you didn't know.
@@cheshirecat6518 Nope. Never felt the need to. A simple, "How kind. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I look forward to opening this when I get home" is more than enough information to convey my stand on the matter.
@@cheshirecat6518 I agree that etiquette in the US is generally that people open gifts from immediate family in front of them. If my sister handed me a birthday present, I’d ask her if I could open it (or say I want to open it!). I would never just say ‘thanks’ and put the unopened gift on the table. Same with close friends. Of course, if we’re going to a dinner party at the home of a friend for his birthday and take a bottle of wine and a gift, I wouldn’t expect the wine or gift to be opened in my presence. I think it’s based on observation and expectations while growing up - not from an ‘etiquette book’.
I'm American, I only open gifts in front of family unless the bearer asks me to open it.
Clean up after self... utensils will go in a special bin where the trays get stacked, a wash bin or canister with soap and water sometimes.
If I’m at a sit down restaurant (as opposed to ordering at the registers), I always stack my dishes and try to leave the table as neatly as I can. I know the restaurant has people that will do that, but I was taught to implement that at home, and old habits die hard.
Y’all would probably think I’m too forward, but I love to speak with strangers. Otherwise, how would one make new friends? I’m curious about people in general and learning about your culture and city is fascinating to me. Hence, that’s why I watch your channel.
And at home I was taught to rinse my plate after I ate, and put it in the dish drain, where mom would put it in the dishwasher, when I got home from school I was to empty the dishwasher, if there was something I didn't know where it went, I was to leave the door ajar a bit for mom to put it away .
My mother had the pantry so organized she would phone before leaving work, I could open it and list off what was needed. Now when I visit she's got canned goods in the garage, basement, and the pantry,and 4 freezers full of stuff you can't fit a bottle of soda in a fridge shelf for all the half eaten takeout containers, that woman has enough to feed a army of rotten food I suppose, I don't trust most of it. And she says they're broke.. and go out for $40+ dinners more than 1x a week, I'm lucky to spend $20 a month on drive thru food
Lol the cleaning up at a restaurant... My whole family does this because our family was in the restaurant business. Old habits!
My experience in Western Europe was cool..definitely a different vibe..met some good people.. but the #1 thing I noticed was that everyone was stuck up, with their nose held high..like why??!! How bout ya just relax and go shopping in your pajamas!! 😂🤣😂 Maybe you won’t be so uptight 😂🤣😂
I've never worn shoes in someone else's house. I think the only exception is at a family function, where there are 20 + people and wouldn't be enough room at the front door for 40 shoes.
If the service is bad, don't tip!
I’m glad that you said that. I get sooo annoyed with Bits that make tipping a must. Yes,You should if you can and it’s warranted. But,I don’t tip always. You may get something but it won’t be standard or extra if the service was horrible.
Just want to put my experiences out there.
Small talk is a huge thing in the south where I live. It’s second nature to ask everyone how they’re doing, and fully expect a response back. It doesn’t last long, just 2 or 3 passes to each person, but it’s a big deal.
The gift opening thing is a huge deal here, too. If you don’t open your gift immediately, it shows a lot of disrespect or lack of caring towards the giver. Lots of people think the receiver will just trash it once they’re out of sight if they don’t open it right there.
Talking quietly is seen as rude where I’m from depending on the context. Kind of like it’s a lack of enthusiasm, passion, attention, and things of the sort.
The shoes in the house thing is something that changes with each house you go to. More often than not, it’s perfectly fine to wear your shoes inside.. sometimes it’s rude though, but you’ll be told explicitly about the rule before hand.
Tipping is another big thing down here. My family often made it a thing where we wouldn’t go out to eat unless we had a decent size cash tip. Even if the service is bad, they might be having a rough day, you always give them a tip. 15% is the bare minimum you’d pay, most people I know pay a bit more than that. Around 25% or so. I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced things like this up north, but the states I’ve been to and lived in down here have pretty much exactly what you said.
I’m in Chicago and I have to say everything you said is the same here. Visitors are often shocked how chatty we are with strangers.
I live in the south and I agree with ev ery thing but the loud talking. I am not a loud talker and neither are my kids and nobody has acused me of being rude.
Really most of North America wears shoes in the home, Canada is probably where its the least common. But it is very common to wear shoes in the home in most of the countries between the U.S and Brazil. The U.S. gets a lot of attention for it, being a western country, but really it is not in anyway unique to the U.S.
We Canadians have long winters - except in BC. Nobody likes to walk around their space with wet or muddy shoes, and that applies to guests. That is why most of us have a rug inside doors for people to take their shoes off.
i think it depends on your household. i was never allowed to wear shoes inside or sit on the bed without changing out of my school clothes.
@@sib9769 Its a diverse continent with a history of immigration, sure there will many homes its not done in. But for most countries in North America wearing outdoor shoes in the home is the norm. See the other comments where people from Mexico said their grandparents would yell at them if they walked in the home without shoes on.
Putting the gift away instead of opening it would feel like you didn’t want it. Most of us like seeing the reaction, especially to more personal/sentimental gifts.
Americans and Brits will never see eye to eye, this is why we had an revolution and kicked them the heck out of the country. Lol
Shoes make the outfit. I’ll leave mine on, thank you very much. And so can my guests. That’s why we have a housekeeper.
Bummer, it looks like you can only order the Wild deodorant in the UK. 😢 I was excited to try the coconut/vanilla one - love that tropical smell!! 🌴🌴🌴
On their FAQ page, there's a Q that's "How long will delivery take" and it shows delivery to locations outside UK. There's a link there to Customer Service if you wish to verify.
@@barbarakiewe4917 thanks, Barbara, when I went to check out, the costs were in pounds, not dollars. I’ll have to take another look.
Yeah you got it nice video. It is nice to watch your perspective. Thank you!
I Love the American way much better! 🇺🇸 🇬🇧
Im an introvert from Oregon in the US. There’s a certain Mexican restaurant I used to go to, where the manager would just stand by our table and talk to us. At first we thought oh how nice, he’s friendly! But then he just stayed there and wouldn’t go away! Finally he got called away, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do!!
In EVERY UK movie or TV show I've seen (yes, all the countries), I've NEVER seen anyone remove their shoes once past the threshold...
@@Kim-427 did I say anything about "rude" in this post?!?!
@@mkphilly I didn’t say you did. Lia said that. Excuse me I should not have commented under your comment.
@@Kim-427 🙂
Most people I know take their shoes off at home and wear house shoes. I usually ask, and sometimes assume I should take my shoes off in someone's house, especially if they have carpet.
When it comes to the small talk one from employees, we are required to do that. If we aren't doing small talk then there's a chance it could mean we get fired. We have to show that were friendly and want to get to know our customer. And as a person that never wants to work customer service again, I never liked to do small talk, especially since I now have social anxiety
It could also be that the shop owner gave instructions to its employees to follow the customers to make sure they don't steal anything.
In some stores Employees follow you to make sure you are not stealing. If they say Can I help you? you Reply “No thanks I am just looking.”
Great! Loved the chat video from England. It is a nice change from "Eating in America videos" at places that are in our towns.
I'm American, and I'd have gotten uncomfortable with someone like the guy in the shoe store.
I experienced the air kisses in French Polynesia back in '87. Kinda nice.
I’m America we have a few sayings about receiving and giving gifts..
1. It’s better to give than receive
2. It’s the thought that counts
If someone gives you a gift from the heart, then receive it from the heart…
The guy in the shoe store would have made me uncomfortable and I love to just casually chat with strangers. There are people who hang around malls and bustling public areas. They are lonely so they grab some one (not literally) that looks like a nice person. Then they proceed to tell you everything about themselves, ad nauseum. They also will, as you found out, follow you like you're all together as a group. They are generally harmless but have some mental issues and few friends. I just tell them I have to catch a bus or something and then walk off. No need to hurt their feelings.
When I chat with a stranger it's something like, "Beautiful sweater you're wearing!" and they say thanks and we part ways, or if people are standing in line because the cashier has a problem, I might say something like, "I always choose the wrong lane!" or something non-committal.
So, chatting with strangers is fine as long as it's not personal and only goes for a few sentences. Don't judge us all by one weirdo.