We've been trained, taught and told that other people can hurt us by what they say. If we believe that, we give our power away. So, I hear Marshall saying to listen for needs that impel others to say what they say, no matter what they tell us about what they think we "are". Instead of that static jackal language, we can get curious about what might be going on for them. The self empathy in that moment? We remember that we are not defined by what other people think about us. We are human beings doing the best we can each moment to act in alignment with our Life Energy (needs). Hope this is clarifying?!
Thank you for your comment! I would just add a component of "giving yourself" understanding and compassion that we can feel pain hearing words of other ppl. Yes, I am not defined by what other think of me, yet I care about it. I'm affected by it Irrespectively whether it's "normal" or "pathology". Just giving space to the reality of emotional reaction to what other people say.
How bout if the other person is your mother and you are a young child...? "Don't be so sensitive!" "Be realistic" as a child you did not have the knowledge how to react... So how to 'restart'?
Very important point! Children are in very "tricky" spot since they are in "less power" end of relationship and also learn how to communicate watching parents. 'Restart' is then taking ownership of the past ("yes, it was my challenging/painful experience that had effect on me") and taking responsibility for the present (communication is one of things we can change - so learning NVC would be one of steps towards growth and awakening from conditioning of the past).
@@nonviolentcommunicationpro1602 thank you! Now l'm 60 it finally came on my path. And l'm benefitting of it and sharing it with others who have their own struggles! What a wonderful time we live in to have all this knowledge to use...!
At beginning he talks some time about it - being worried about how we react to what people do. He didn't go there in great detail though. Maybe because it's so deceptively simple and in practice there are not many steps "to do". "Just" giving space and time to what I feel, think, sense in relationship to given person/situation. It's much easier to list what not to do: advise, change, explain, judge, question etc. (so in general anything that takes me away from feeling the impact). Hope it helps a bit.
![MISSING: SLIM SHADY [Expanded Mourner’s Edition Trailer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xh8qgHrOO1g/mqdefault.jpg)
This was a brilliant man. Worthy of listening to again and again.
We've been trained, taught and told that other people can hurt us by what they say. If we believe that, we give our power away. So, I hear Marshall saying to listen for needs that impel others to say what they say, no matter what they tell us about what they think we "are". Instead of that static jackal language, we can get curious about what might be going on for them. The self empathy in that moment? We remember that we are not defined by what other people think about us. We are human beings doing the best we can each moment to act in alignment with our Life Energy (needs). Hope this is clarifying?!
Thank you for your comment! I would just add a component of "giving yourself" understanding and compassion that we can feel pain hearing words of other ppl. Yes, I am not defined by what other think of me, yet I care about it. I'm affected by it Irrespectively whether it's "normal" or "pathology". Just giving space to the reality of emotional reaction to what other people say.
Great video, thanks
Sonds like Socratic dialogue. Beautiful and practical. Thank you
I think SD is more mental and NVC more emotional and empathetic
How bout if the other person is your mother and you are a young child...? "Don't be so sensitive!" "Be realistic" as a child you did not have the knowledge how to react...
So how to 'restart'?
Very important point! Children are in very "tricky" spot since they are in "less power" end of relationship and also learn how to communicate watching parents. 'Restart' is then taking ownership of the past ("yes, it was my challenging/painful experience that had effect on me") and taking responsibility for the present (communication is one of things we can change - so learning NVC would be one of steps towards growth and awakening from conditioning of the past).
@@nonviolentcommunicationpro1602 thank you! Now l'm 60 it finally came on my path. And l'm benefitting of it and sharing it with others who have their own struggles!
What a wonderful time we live in to have all this knowledge to use...!
This video doesn't talk about how to give yourself empathy.
At beginning he talks some time about it - being worried about how we react to what people do. He didn't go there in great detail though. Maybe because it's so deceptively simple and in practice there are not many steps "to do". "Just" giving space and time to what I feel, think, sense in relationship to given person/situation. It's much easier to list what not to do: advise, change, explain, judge, question etc. (so in general anything that takes me away from feeling the impact). Hope it helps a bit.
Where is episode 1