The Alarming Rise of Hikikomori: A Growing Trend of Social Withdrawal
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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Today, I am discussing the disturbing rise of Hikikomori in modern society.
Videos Included:
• Japan's taboo: Hikikom...
• Hikikomori (2004) Fran...
• Living Lonely and Love...
• Japan's Most Extreme S...
• Japan: The Age Of Soci...
• I was a Hikikomori for...
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Hello, I just came across this video on RUclips recommendations and when I saw it I was surprised to see that part of my video (from 09:37) is featured. Thanks for quoting my video in a very good way! I think you are right. Our mind is influenced by the information we receive, so if we receive so much negative information, we will have negative tendencies.
Many documentaries about Hikikomori people tend to be very negative, and watching such videos makes many Hikikomori people feel as if there is no way out of their darkness. I think Hikikomori people should receive more positive information that gives them a sense of possibility for a brighter future. Then Hikikomori people will try more to move in a good, positive direction.
@Misha Petrov
Well done for pinning this comment, very considerate and polite of you :)
This has been happening in America for YEARS. We just didn't call it _"Hikikomori"..._
It's called being anti-social I believe is the correct term
@@lunasky5029 Mental illness plays a huge role but I believe there's also more to it. If there wasn't more to it, all anti-social people would be _Hikikomori._
Know what I mean?
@@lunasky5029 nah its shut in! anti social just means you don't like to socialize LOL, but you still go out, like to the store and work and what not
@@studdedleatherlace oh you mean like the TERMINALLY ONLINE?! virtue signaling for woke points? Or are we not counting those them's?
@@studdedleatherlace It is the society in general that is more ill than the individuals involved.
Im avoiding people cause i always feel like no matter how much i have tried to connect in the end i am just in the way...
well 90% of people are assholes also, that doesnt help.
so you're always perfect?
I think the hardest thing one can do in life is find people that are worth your time. But the reward when you do find the right people is a treasure none of us should give up on finding!
For perspective, the last friend I made ghosted me after about 6 months so I currently have no friends and not even any family in my state, but, ya know, I'm not throwing in the towel on pursuing relationships. Even when I know that staying beside myself is the safer bet, I'm still gonna take the risk of putting myself out there.
don't give up. just today i was sitting in a parking lot and someone came up talked to me and became friends. you never know. i get abandonded by 90% of people i meet too.
Well said. Same.
im not gonna say hikikomori is healthy, but being out on clubs all the time drinking alcohol and having sex with random strangers (like a lot of "normal" people are doing) is also not healthy behaviour. our society is so sick these days that i can see how a lot of people (including myself) choose to stay more at home to avoid all the sickness.
Yeah like my mom did that and ended up with an abuser. Then she divorced him, did the same thing, then met my Dad and dated him for 8 months then got pregnant with me. And she still complains about her life because they are in a loveless relationship but stayed cause they had kids.
And now she wants me to do the same thing because she doesn't want me to be alone. But not only do I not really like partying with strangers but I also don't want to end up with an abuser or in a loveless marriage. I grew up with parents who didn't love each other and I wouldn't want that for my kids, if I ever have any. I would rather be alone.
Sorry I respect myself and my time. Guess that makes me the weird one for not partying 24/7 lol. What’s up with weirdos coming after normal people
You have some point in saying this, however I think there's still room for a middle ground to be reached. I do spend a lot of time in the house, but I do loathe it. I can't really help it since most of my classwork is online only at this point in my degree, and I'm not working outside the home right now, but I do find myself looking for excuses to just go out. I happen to skateboard which is a really good way to just urbanly explore and get around your town if going on walks is too boring. I don't have a lot of friends but for the few that I have, I appreciate the time we're able to make for each other which also gets me out of the house too.
Agree 100%
But still there are plenty of other activities you can do being outside. Noone is forcing noone to go to the clubs or drink alcohol.
I used to consider this sad & disturbing. Now, having seen social trends of the last 15 years in the US come to a head after decades of slow progress, I'm no longer upset about it. At some point, men & women are going to have to come to terms with being lied to & perpetuating harmful ideologies.
I think it's actually good that some people shield themselves from the poisonous effects of our decaying society and civilization. Roman empire soon will fall!
What pains me the most is that my cousin is actually a "hikikomori" I'm half Japanese and last summer I visited Japan for the first time in 7 years, I was sad that I didn't get to see my cousins because one was all the way in Tokyo for university and the other one I already mentioned, looking back I heavily regret not doing attempting to do SOMETHING. To get a better idea on my cousin's situation we were all in the same house and because of jet lag I tend to wake up in the early hours of the morning, my grandparents knew that and told me to not leave the guest room until after 5:30AM so my cousin can come out to get food before going back upstairs since he wanted to avoid interaction. The closest I ever got to interacting with him was peeking out my door to see his silhouette and listening to his footsteps and making him a meal-which my grandma made sure to put a note saying that I made it for him.
I'm veyr sorry your cousin is in that situation, hope he gets better!
@@DyingSunberry Thank you
Christ 😭
Who can blame them, really. People are f**king crazy
The great majority of people are assholes. But my coping mechanism to deal with this is the complete opposite. I’ve built an absolute thick psychological wall around me of “not giving a f*ck” about. I’ve built myself, without any help of a therapist or whatever. It helps me through the day in dealing with situations.
"Hey, you're depressed, struggling in your own mind. Have you tried not doing that n being happy?"
Ok thanks, got it.
Just get drunk that will pass😂😂
Just touch grass!!! Nevermind that the grass is inaccessible and the only way to cope is to watch grass through the screen.
Having friends and whatever does make it bearable but getting friends and all that is up to luck abd low odds.
@@santostv. lmao alcohol is a depressant.
@@santostv.Jesus Christ is the answer
Lmao
When a society expects perfection without flaw only to realize everyone is flawed but refuses to let go of their expectations of perfection exile is the last civilized act of those deemed imperfect
I'm agoraphobic & have PTSD, & I literally just force myself to go out & do things, go places, even though it's incredibly uncomfortable - because I don't want to be like this. I have a husband & daughter, & I don't want my daughter to copy me & be isolated. I was always an introvert, but after being attacked multiple times about 8 years ago, I really secluded myself v& I ONLY felt safe at home. And even at home, I'll lock the door if whatever room I'm in, just to feel safe. Before I moved out of my mom's, right after these things happened, I would sleep in her couch which is near her room because I was too afraid to be in my old bedroom & be that far away from her in case someone broke in. I just didn't lived in fear all the time & isolated myself as a result. But, my husband, despite being really weird, is very outgoing, friendly, loves spending time with family & friends & going out doing things. So, he's always pushing me to go places with him & to go see people, & that helps a lot. I just make myself do it. And I got a job delivering food to try to force myself to be more social as well. I really want to be a better example for my daughter so she's not a shut-in too.
So, I guess my point is, I definitely understand where these people are coming from & why they feel the way they do, but the only way to overcome that is to just take it 'til you make it, basically. Go be around people, even if you don't like it, because eventually you will, & when you don't die alone & miserable, you'll be glad you did.
Wow, Ma'am just wow. What a story, I'll be Praying for you.
I have spinal damage and nerve damage in my face from the service. Occasionally, I feel self-conscious because I may limp, and I can't smile correctly.
It can be difficult to hangout with strangers.
@@dimensionninja4929 I'm doing a WHOLE lot better now than 7 years ago when got married, so, I'm thankful for that. And being a mom has been very healing for me.
I’m introverted and I don’t do well in crowds, but my wife is outgoing and tends to schedule social events. While it can create anxiety for me, I don’t complain because I’d be much worse off staying home all the time. However I sometimes need to let her know what I can take and what I can’t. For example, if there’s a 3 hour concert, I can’t also do dinner in a crowded place beforehand.
Now this is true "stunning and brave-ness."
This hurts my soul.
It's only going to get worse, and most people don't care at all
And you'll do nothing about it.
They just have to repent to Jesus Christ and they will live blessing happy life. But unfortunately they probably don't believe in my Lord ✝️♥️
"what would happen if the power went out?" they would read books by candlelight.
Powerbank + solar charger
@@SYNC420 w
Yes, you are right about many things. I am one of them. Since my father died, I don't go out the door anymore. I dropped out of university and living with my mother. I'm chronically depressed, even before my father died, and it's incredibly difficult, because I was also bullied for years and distanced myself from my family and friends until I hardly have any contact at all. It's incredibly difficult to get out of it, because in my eyes it's incredibly difficult to change that. There is also hardly anyone who understands. I just hope that I can get out of it one day. Thanks for the video. ❤
Hi @nachtwolfstanz, thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for what you have been through. it pains my heart reading this. life is full of unexpected twist and turns of events. that sometimes traumatised us further.
I hope you know that "Time does not heal wounds", retracting into yourself may appear to temporarily aid, it's a slow burnt as mentioned in the video. as such, one day may not come..We only have the now, little moments of exposure to stuff that adds up.
I believe there's a part of you by typing here, you are looking forward to, to get out of this.
like the kintsugi art to piece back broken glass tgt, there is beauty in various forms unseen by perspectives we temporaily have.
nothing is fixed in this life. perspectives can be changed, re-examined, modified by new exposure, experiences & awareness of our ego self. our past conditioning by external factors (ppl, environ, etc) that formed our programming too. i believe theres a part of you that resonates as you give yourself a chance to watch this video and leaving this comment. when we experience the worst, we may also be able to identify and cherish what the gd moments feels like.
sometimes the media or society gives a false illusion,
that we need overall big sudden change or from others, its subtle baby steps of shifts that adds up. also by exploring your inner child, remembering, recreating, welcoming back to your inner self.
You are brave for leaving a comment here. Give yourself a pat in the back for watching and sharing your story. we are all beautiful souls contributing to this earth in our own unique different ways. while it may not be in agreement with others perspectives, that's ok. what matters most is how enriching you feel internally twds yourself.
may you find joy in Tiny little moments of creation, gain ongoing sparks of inspiration source from honing diff angle as a 'muscle'.
thank you for existing somewhere on this earth! (when the external precadiment appears horrible & unfavourable, may you find solace in the unknown angles: eg . Did you know that your body cells are always quietly rooting for you in background!)
sorry for the lengthy post!
thank you for reading this. everyones journey is different. this is my tiny 2 cents.
you can filter, take whatever applies to you. hope this helps.
Sending you and anyone reading this strength, love, encouragement! while we nvr know what life throws at us,
Your inner self loves you unconditionally.
( what if beneath challenges can reveal little gifts?
maybe you have nt explore what more you're capable of yet? theres more to you then whatever this feels like to you. eg. another angle: what 'little acts of gifts' can you gift yourself at this moment?) Gambate!
Who knew that pricing young people out of social stuff/hobbies, playing keep away in the job market, and making apps and ideologies to isolate the young people from each other/create conflict when possible would cause problems
Lol
What first came to my mind is a fantastic anime called "Anohana" in which the main protagonist is a hikikomori (based on the script writer's childhood), and there's a super cute ghost of a quarter-Russian girl deceased when they were kids appears to help him. I've always pictured you as a real version of that little girl, Menma, if she had not died and grown up.
I hate anime and that garbage needs to be banned! All it does is encourage behavior like this and the characters are always vain, neurotic, narcissistic pieces of shit! Needs to stop!
dude that last episode actually had me ugly wail sobbing. "Menma, we found you!" 😭 I had no idea MC guy was a hikki! Now i wanna rewatch it haha
lol the mc from konosuba was a NEET too
when i think about hikikomoris i instantly remember "welcome to the NHK".
@@GraveyardShift-tl6ri The last episode makes everyone bawl their eyes out. After Menma died, everyone of that group became depressed and later Jintan became a hikikomori when he entered high school. The script writer Mari Okada was a hikki herself which is also described in the character of Jun Naruse in "The Anthem of the Heart", an anime film created by the same team and takes place in the same city (Okada's hometown).
I'm not buying it. Nobody is talking about this out of empathy, they're upset they don't get to use these people.
if you are cash strapped which a lot of people are these days, it becomes natural to isolate yourself more because most things cost a lot of money. going to a restaurant or club? forget about it. hell even just buying an ice cream is now a painful expense for a lot of people. sure you can take a bike ride or go for a walk but that doesnt really count for breaking social isolation does it?
This just shows what our society has become given so many people are socially withdrawing even though on the inside they want to be out there socializing given humans are social creatures.
Generally Misha is pretty based, but the hikikomori stuff goes a lot deeper than what you see on the surface. Societal changes, gender roles, economics, etc.
Yeah there's a lot of things that factor into it, but ultimately the conclusion anyone can make is that it's not a good thing long term. Just because there are many causes and so called "justifications" for it doesn't really make it okay.
Tbf I'm not from this channel and got this video out of the blue by YT's autoplay. As someone who prefers spending time on her passions rather than socialising, I found myself listening to 11 minutes of my parents blaming me or my brother for being different. I was bamboozled by the lack of empathy and will to understand this girl showed (quite ironic looking back, considering her "women tend to be more empathetic" comment). It was so rushed through and most parts had no link with others, like someone tried completing in a 1000 pieces puzzle in only 50 pieces.
- Lots of what she "suggested" were actual big red flags for care of people with disorders like OCD, ASD or ADHD... Please respect people's routines, you just don't know what's going on in their brains. Everyone is different.
- Not all of us do "nothing but computer all day". A lot of us are extremely self aware, often not in our favour, often due to abuse or bullying. There's no need for a video from which the message could be "If you got no dad and struggle with mental health, try to go outside and if you overcome it tell your story in the comments".
- "What would happen if there was a power outage, like what if you remove their computers from them?" this question had me wondering if this video was not an actual troll.... Answer is most of us would completely break down. Put me back 10 years ago, just cut off internet and I would cry, pull my hair off, scratch my face, or worse. My only friends were people online, my passions were all digital, yet when I went at school and saw other kids my age, I'd seriously get depressed by their way of thinking, lack of self awareness, lack of critical ability, or general maturity.
- Most people don't chose social isolation, we get cornered into it, or realize it's less harmful than going outside to socialise. I'm no expert in mental health, but isolation definitely made me feel better than I was throughout my whole school years.
@@wisedred the point is that a healthy balance is best. Basically no one can live a healthy life being inside in one room all the time, even if you have "online friends" or have crippling anxiety when you can't just be safe behind a computer screen, it only compounds and gets worse for you if you get complacent with it. The sooner you break the spell the easier it will be to acclimatize. As someone who usually does spend a lot of time inside, I grow to hate it a lot and I do feel it making me more depressed and less whole as a person, so I do put myself more out there on occasion, even if it's scary and even if it kicks anxiety up, I still find something to learn and improve upon every time. Sheltering yourself this much helps no one. Even if it's hard for some people, everyone has to learn to do it at some point.
@@wisedred Yah I get the same feeling. I'm an homebody, so I enjoy the company of computers more than humans most of the time. I've traveled, partied, hosted meetups, started businesses, spend time outdoors with my son, worked my entire life, so very far from a hikikomori. But I've had people judge me for spending so much time alone, as if it's the wrong way to live life. Ridiculous. Especially the way society has changed so much in 100 years, men are not men, women are not women, and nobody is guiding new generations how to find values & live through them. Can you blame them for giving up and finding comfort alone? From my assessment, online is so much more satisfying in many ways, a lot less headache, and a lot less risky. Not to everybody, but to me and many others it is. Add on top of that many have mental struggles. Not me, I did have a shitty childhood, but I've been lucky to "make it" and experience many facets of life, but most of the time I'd honestly choose a hikikomori life (except the leeching part). In 24 hours, I only spent 1-2 hours outside, maybe 4 on weekend, and I'm super happy with that balance. I could easily give up outdoors though, it's understandable, if I was too burdened. Misha is non-compromising in her persona of being a female Chad though, so she goes too far in her assessments imo but if she didn't, she'd have no content to vlog about lol so you kind of need to read between the lines.
@@AttackOnTatos I see, I've always been the worst at reading between the lines so thanks for explaining it
I'm currently a student so I currently have to spend most of my time outside, which puts a major toll on my mental health for so many reasons; but when I'm on holidays I'm around 1-2 hours outside per week, having conversations for about 1 hour max per day (mostly during meals), and that's the best ratio I found for myself, currently very productive and happy about it.
As a dad with a 25yo son “failing to launch”, its heart-breaking to witness the appearance of one’s child “refusing” to engage in the world. These kids are reacting in the only way they know how to the fear of rejection and its associated disappointment.
I'm 29 and no longer have much of a social life. All my friends either moved away or died. My BEST friend moved away 10 months ago and I've kinda been Isolated since. I video chat friends occasionally but that's about it. Other than that, i just talk to my parents. I also have aspergers which can make meeting new people a challenge (unless I see something in them I can really relate to). Most my free time, I'm either playing with my dog or playing guitar. I've been trying to get out of my shell lately, but there's really not many events around in my area.
I do meet nice people now and then, but I just don't really connect with them. However, since I got an active dog (border collie/Australianshepherd mix), I feel my mental state improved a lot. He gets me out the house. I'll take him to parks and I'll actually meet people sometimes. I bring him everywhere, just have less anxiety with him around. Also keeps me on my feet when I get depressed. Getting him was the best thing I ever done for my mental health since I quit drinking and hard drugs.
My advice: get a dog.
I’m 22, also have Asperger’s. It often feels like I’m in a bubble out of touch with the world. Someday we’ll all get through this. Also yes, dogs are man’s best friend (I have a Springer Spaniel who always wants me). Keep working on that guitar and I’m sure it’ll pay off someday.
Power goes off: "I guess I'll die."
Accurate
I live in Japan (but I’m Canadian). Japan is almost like another planet in terms of culture, society, mannerism, etc… I often interact with both Japanese and tourists in Japan. I often ask tourists the exact same question: What are your impressions of Japan. I often get the exact same response: “It feels like a different planet”. In fact just the other day, I took a tourist who had just arrived to a local bar and just told him to be mindful of certain things because “Japan is like another planet”. As I said that, in walked another group of tourists who sat close by. When the owner asked them where they were from and what they thought of Japan, the reply was “it feels like another planet”.
The reason for that is very deep and complex , but it does has direct ties to the way the language itself functions. The way the actual language works is based on social hierarchy/status. It is also an extremely passive language. For example, when asking if someone wants to go to the restaurant, the natural Japanese way to ask is “Shall we not go to the restaurant together?” , if you want to talk to someone privately, instead of saying “can i talk to you for a second?”, they literally say “A little bit…” (ちょっと…). The “ …” is implying that you want to take a little bit of their time but you don’t outright say it. When you’re at a friend’s house and you want to go home, you don’t say “I gotta go home”, you say “slowly, but surely…” (always with the …); if you are going to continue after the … they might say “shall we not leave?” Instead of “let’s go”. The complexity of the language and culture explains a lot of the behavior that I observe here. A lot of Japanese have very poor interpersonal/social skills as a result of this upbringing. One longtime foreigner resident basically said that when it comes to personal relationships of any kind, Japanese can often behave like 5 year olds. For anyone interested, you should actually look up kikokushijo which is the term for Japanese born and Japan but who spent sometime outside of Japan in their formative years. They make the exact same comments as foreigners that they have a lot of difficulty adjusting to Japanese society despite being born here and having spent years being raised here. As soon as they spend a number of years in other countries in their formative years (before age 18), they end up being cursed when they come back. It’s very fascinating
It’s very fascinating for me to live here and to observe a lot of these things. This is not necessarily a criticism of Japan because there is much to criticize about the west, but these are very factual observations that many people have made which explain a lot of peculiarities that seem so odd to people outside of Japan (even other east Asians such as Koreans, Taiwanese, Chinese , etc…) The tourists/foreigners I interact with are from all walks of life.
In the end , I chose to live here because for myself, it suits my lifestyle better than the west (although I do miss many things from there too)
"do sports, meet up with other people" ... everytime i meet other people, they make it clear to me that they hate me and want nothing have to do with me, thats why i try to go to the gym when no other people are around, i cant avoid my coworkers and having to endure their bad behaviours is hell! i tryed vacations, traveling, but doing everything alone while seeing that everyone else has company and is happy is just making things worse.
I agree Fielion.
I understand this well but in my experience, if people keep seeing you they get accustomed to your awkwardness. I guess they see I'm not dangerous but I don't know
Then you're trying to be with the wrong people. The people meant to be your friends will like you the way you are. You just have to keep trying to find them. And don't worry about work. Almost nobody likes their coworkers.
Everyone feels unwelcome everywhere they enter except hot 19yo white women of high status😂 all others are treated with the ick and side eye
That's because if you go outside you realize there's nobody there. Everyone's looking at their phones but no one answers.
Some people prefer to be alone because it's easier and less stressful.
I can at least explain this from a college standpoint. Despite colleges offering plently of opportunities for people to meet and organizations for stuff to do, they are often superfical because they they only occur during certain times or during the semester when students are busy with classwork. This leads to people on weekend where those not hosting events will often have no plan or only meet up with certain people. This is less in dorms but more in off campus housing, where the events are rare if it happens at all (In my apartment I am at in my internship, nobody knows each other). What really stings are the students that are here when no one is around (like in the summer).
I usually try to go outside through church, exercise, or even just going to a public area. But even then, meeting people is hard and some days, I am by myself.
And to add. Even if there are plently of events for college and young adults to go to, How many of them are gonna be populated by people going by themselves?
@@nickflinn9816 I agree with you, especially your last sentence. Its my 2nd year in college now and I still no friends and pretty much no social life. I tried to attend some activities organized by my college, but everyone was attending with their own friend group. I was there all by myself 😂
"What would happen if the power went out"
I lived it few times, my brother and my neighbor are among those peoples, when the power goes out I hear my neighbor screaming as loud as he can, my brother is complaining then it goes louder and louder, begin to slurs the eletric company, the internet provider and proceed to call the internet provider, disrespectfully ask what is happening and want to know how much time it takes to be resolved.
Don't tell them to calm down or you are going to get insulted like never, or maybe more I haven't tried to go further, then they just go on an offline device like nintendo switch or retro game whiile keep complaining about the power cut.
And this kind of story is tiny compared to all of the other problems that kind of behavior create.
Lmaooo
My friend dropped out of high school last year because her anxiety got really bad. She has autism and now mostly stays in her room now. Of course she has her ups and downs, she’ll come outside everyday for a week and then the next week I won’t see her at all. There was one time I gave her a plant that sat outside and I told her to water it everyday which forced her to go outside and that seemed to help. But now she has a kitten and I think that’s good because she has something to take care of but this kitten also lives in her room which just makes her want to stay in there more so idk what to tell her but I’ll try an help.
Да я сам почти такой. В жизни ничего не получается, поэтому просто замыкаешься и ничего не делаешь.
maybe its becasue YOU CANT EARN NORMAL MONEY AND THE WORLD IS BEING SPUN AS A CRAZY PLACE!
It's finances & relationships. We made it unrealistically difficult to achieve success when it was basically a given in prior generations.
This is sad. When I was a child I suffered extreme social anxiety and agoraphobia (this was like 20 yrs ago now). I didn't know back then, but I was actually undiagnosed autistic. I'm very grateful that my family pushed me to get help as it's a terrible life and - despite talking to people online - I was so lonely and isolated. It feels 'safe' and that's why it's so hard to get out of it. I can understand why this has increased in recent years, because of lockdowns etc and people being told it's safer to stay indoors. I don't think it's just young men but maybe they are more susceptible to it, I don't know. Treatment generally involves CBT where you do tasks such as 'walking down the street' and then build up from that. Recovery is possible ♥
Sh!t's so expensive; people are so distrustworthy, that it's better to get your money's worth out of the house. That's my outlook on how it happens.
As old-fashioned as I am in many ways, I've personally never wanted human kids either. Marriage is fine and I'm all for that, but kids (and marriage for others) shouldn't be so pressurized on society. It's bad enough of a stigma in the West to not want to live your life with that end goal, I can't imagine what people in Japan and other Asian countries have to go through with such strict traditionalism in their cultures.
As long as you're not putting a strain on your parents by soley depending on them for everything while you play games all day, we're not hurting anyone. We're actually less of a strain on society both socially and environmentally by not unnecessarily adding to everything. Is it so difficult to just let us be left tf alone? While I do agree that isolating yourself to this degree isn't good at all, I can't help but understand the ones that feel they have to live like this with how society as a whole views and treats people like this.
Ah the good old "my actions don't have consequences outside of myself" lie. Your actions have consequences, your taxes go to fund wars, coups and terrorise other countries, do not act as if the worse thing someone can do is interpersonal, no, the worst you can do is be part of the system.
I have ocd, anxiety and some other issues which doesn't even let me to improve my life.
@7:29 I am a borderline hikkikomori. No it would not help. What needs to be done is to find a job that is perfectly suitable for isolated and socially inept individuals. I can't find a job that doesn't make me want to off myself because of the stress.
But as usual people misunderstand why others are shut ins.
I have a friend like this and it really is horrible. He dropped out of school, but when he did come he was always enjoyable, although he did say some out of pocket things. Now that he is fully online all day he seems to have gotten all the more bitter.
As someone who has been confining themselves for the past year, it gives me time to personally grow without outside distractions
Other people can push you to evolve faster. You need to find supportive people.
Im 22 now and I was like this for years, my parents just let me be till one day they sat me down and asked what the problem was, i had no answer, I believed i iust preferred being alone, i didn’t even know i was depressed, it took reading mushoku tensei or Jobless reincarnation, reading that story made me reaize i didn’t wanan end up the same way tha main character did, dying alone and feeling sorry for myself, so i started to trying to talk to my family more and force myself to get out of my comfort zone, i even started to work out.. all of that because a simple book, im a total loser but im working on myself, its not easy but living that kind of lifestyle is much worse
Though im still not a people person lol
These are not the words of a "loser"!
That is not hikikomori. That is you being a shut in due to a mental disorder. Hikikomori are persons rejecting society and being similar to hermits.
This is me. 27 and in parents house hated by everyone including parents cause I don’t contribute and stuck in house all day. No friends and while I do feel guilty for taking advantage I don’t do much action it seems like about it. Everyone hates me so bad I do see something happening to me like being killed or beaten or raped or just socially outcast and shun for rest of life like I already am.
I have severe social anxiety and a lot of other things. I love staying at home, I am more creative ,more peaceful,more productive when I stay isolated. Real , genuine connections are very rare. Majority is all about gloating and faking shit. If it's not a social event, I don't hang out with anyone.
If you are happy I guess it's really not a problem, as long as you can function well enough to take care of yourself. I agree people can be annoying. I was very outgoing as a child, hated being alone. Now, after years of depression I just cannot be bothered with people. I go out if I need to or if I want to. I'm not at all anxious, just tired of being let down by humans and not willing to put the effort in anymore.
@@wingnut71 Scary how similar my experience is to that. People tend to disappoint more then help. I've had great friends who just drifted apart as soon as our interests didn't align perfectly or failed to make connections with people cause everyone expects you to like what they do and can't stand if you have your own opinion. Being alone is preferable to constantly being let down.
People feel safer when they are alone. I am 47 , never married, no children, moved back with my parents. Thinking of evaluating for adhd, dpd and other issues. Poor social skills and there is so much friction outside in the artificial world. I have no ability to deal with any situation any more. It is good that marriage rates are falling. Women should not have children, it is an ugly world out there
I think a big factor in the rise of shut-ins is not only mental health issues, but also a sense of purposelessness
Nah, a lot of people just realise how trash the world is and want no part without jumping directly to unaliving.
I love my family, but when it comes to love, friendships & job lives, I'm honestly currently an isolated person due to the fact that I had to deal with MANY jealous & narc people around me who (some of them) even abvsed me sexvally. And there were married & cheaating men who were interested in me & I said no... How should I believe in love with such an environment although my parents were married for 50 years? Because since my beloved dad passed away, it's like my belief in love did the same due to the fact that I witnessed many divorces & cheaatings here. That's why I really appreciate myself for my principles of being alone instead of wreckin homes, being in peace & in boredom. I won't neither force someone nor myself into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. I am not a hikikomori but I will take life & love how it comes not how society expects from me, especially as a person with pride. ✌️
so you single then?
@foolserrand-lu7ym Nope 🙅♀️
@@RoseRoseRoseRoseRoseRose thats a relief
change... bullshit! allthough i have done so many things in my life, things have never changed, everyone hates me, i am alone and i will stay alone. I think its life itself that hates me and that is so cruell that it loves to mock me and to bully me.
Most people never understand this.
It's just a less painful lifestyle.
If your whole worth is determined by wealth status and authority. During a time where it's impossible for most people to even get a job. Yeah it's kind of expected.
For many people social media is the real world, and life is just a waiting room
Well said
At times it's purely self isolation because of lack of relation and connection, at times lack of oppotunity and community, i'm a key worker and i'd be like this if I had no responcibility, at one point I sat in my bedroom on a holiday and played skyrim and fable tlc for days because where I live it's mainly families and rich older people. I didn't grow up with a computer or cell phone, infact i'd say that if I had one the bullying and harrasment would of been alot worse. All i've ever wanted was a job using my qualifications and a partner to raise a family with, but dating is aimed towards older people above 40 years old and the hook up culture is destroying everything. Personally, considering how things are in society, i'm close to doing this and working from home to save money on travel and living expences.
We are also without the "third space", my generation it was church, country club or Sunday, brunch this generation doesn't have that.
Seen several people talking about that recently; it's true.
In Europe we have plenty of third places and is also a problem here although maybe to a lesser degree ,in Japan i also think they have plenty of third places.
It’s more the unrealistic expectations for the modern world and that society wants you to fit their mold of their society or you are shunned, I guess how nerds in older days and in Hollywood were seen as weird and now they are almost royalty
I agree it's been happening for years, here too (UK). I think it stems from over protection. The kids don't seem to having much of a childhood, so the problem starts early. I don't know if there are more potential dangers now than say back in the 80's but there is deffo more awareness of any kind of danger, parents don't let kids out of their sight. I think of some of the adventures etc we got up to as kids, e.g. in the summer we used to get truck inner tubes and go on the river with them and go on long bike rides. Boys for sure need a bit of rough and tumble as kids for a range of reasons. Teen years are difficult, everyone has had to go through some form of bullying and it is difficult. It doesn't help to protect kids from every potential danger or TBH discomfort, we are seeing the result of over protecting and mollycoddling them. It looks like kids think they need to be the finished model by the time they are 12, let them be kids and learn from experience, sheltering them isn't preparing them for life. As for older "hikkomori's" i agree they should form groups perhaps with someone who's been there and moved on to help them take positive steps.
Governing entities love when humans completely isolate. The plandemic was a show of this. Need to stop doing everything online and go to brick and mortar locations for whatever you need.
I'm speaking as a hikikomori/NEET of about 8 years. I'm on welfare for my schizophrenia.
I still live at home (25 at the time of writing this), but I help my mum with rent and bills and expenses as well as covering my own. However, I think it is entirely ignorant and foolish for us to hear "Just get a job" or "Don't be lazy!" because many of us know the realities of the world and choose to forge our own path, even if that means staying locked away in our room. I don't know about any other hikkis reading this or watching this video, but my reason for being a hikki is because I've seen just how hard my mum has worked all her life, only to be abused by my father and despite working incredibly hard, still barely scraping by. We still rent because of the rich elites and immigrants buying up all the housing in even rural areas, where the prices are skyrocketing. Groceries are also overpriced, likewise with most living expenses in general. I just see the way the world is and I refuse to participate. Why should I pay taxes to a government that doesn't want to help my country's citizens? (I'm Australian, by the way.) I just think it's a downright waste of time when I'll be working a 9-5 just to rent for the rest of my life and need to take loans to get new things such as a car.
When you work, you don't have time for YOURSELF. Instead, you slave away for a boss that couldn't care less. You can't spend time with family in exchange for working for very little money in comparison to the price of purchasable goods. To your workplace, you are just a number. To your family, you are a person. Why should you sacrifice your time with your family in order to please a workplace that thinks of you as a number?
I heard a story where a woman's coworker passed away prematurely. The next day, they were looking for a replacement. Then she said something that struck me deep: "A family is grieving, while a workplace is looking for someone to replace him." - That, is why work is a waste of time and energy. You are replaceable at work, but not with family.
Anyway, that's my two cents on the matter.
Hopelessness is destroying so many people, Another bigger problem is that depressions counselors are not really helping their clients more likely only lining their pockets.
MFW, goes to a therapist. They say your concerns are all in your head. You leave the therapist, face the things you are concerned with, so much for all in your head.
I hate going out, I hate talking to people, I just don’t care what most people have to say. Luckily my wife understands me and doesn’t force me to socialize. I love spending time with her, but that’s about all the people I can really care about.
my best friend was a shut in, then he went out with this girl he met online...its been 3weeks and they still haven't found him, is it too much to hope he eloped?
lets face it, your best friend is de*d.
…
I've known some older people, like young gen xers who were so into watching youtube that they didn't know how to have a proper conversation that didn't involve being entertained by watching a video or reading an article while talking. It's part of the reason why I broke up with an ex boyfriend. He seemed to be more attached to his desktop computer than me.
I can’t meet new people because 1) I’m afraid of either boring them or them boring me. 2) Turning 28, and solo so there aren’t a lot of “people like me” that I’d WANT to meet. They’d be too into something I don’t care about or I’d be all about something they aren’t (back to #1) 3) If I’m out doing something, I’m focused on “the thing” and not at all about anyone around.
I get lonely for about half an hour a day, but my lifestyle and experiences make that desire go away.
I've spent the past 20 years living very much in this way. Recently, I realized that many of my issues are related to a severe vitamin D deficiency and so I started getting outside for the first time in many years. My mood and health are improving dramatically day by day and I even got back into vegetable gardening this year. Each day is compounding onto the day before of small steps of getting back to normalcy so I can honestly say that movement and sunshine have been the biggest keys to my recovery. I've also begun reading my Bible and praying again and this is what motivates me to keep trying. I hope this helps someone. God bless.
I'm A 90's (est 85) it was way different when I went to school my generation are the "Digital Natives" .
But man everybody has phones in school nowadays so if you do anything embarrassing it will be recorded by somebody and posted posted on the internet and everyone is afraid to thatc mite be recorded if they do they retreat in them selves.
The sad thing is that they are romanizing this. On TikTok they call it “Bed rotting” it’s not exactly the same thing but it’s where you sit in your bed on your phone doing nothing for hours or days.
My heart goes out to all of those who are suffering in silence. As someone who has dealt with alcoholism and homelessness I can relate.Ive seen the worst and the best in people and I know what it’s like to feel utterly a lone and broken. But life is worth living for especially with other people. The fondest memories I’ve ever had and the ones we will all remember on our death beds are the ones we spent with other people. So take a chance get out of your comfort zone and face life head on. And I know not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our mouths but go out there and face the world and your reality and take life by the balls. And just know that you can’t do it alone . You’re going to need some help because your own thinking is what got you there in the first place. So have some courage and ask for help to get yourself out of that hellhole you’re in. And P.S if I was a father I kick my sons a** right out the house and I would be doing him a favor.
I can’t say much about the West situations, tho. But as an Asian, I used to be in this stage myself for a couple of years toward the end of college, I’d say it because of the high expectations(most of the time unrealistic) from Asian parents putting on their sons.
Like, you must have good grades, you must work this career, you must earn the certain amount of salary, you must own a car and a house before you reach 30, you must be married and have kids at this age, and so on, to be considered successful and being approved by others validations, mainly from your parents and social circles.
And when you realized that the world doesn’t rewards you even you always lived right by the book and doing what you’ve been told your whole life. You feel betrayed and lied to, then begin to rejecting all of these social conditions you used to hold on to and escape it all by isolating yourself. Wasting time away with video games and entertainments were just a distraction and escapism.
Lacking of a father figure in Asian families are different from fatherlessness in the West, tho. Of course the dad still around but he barely being involve in the boys’ lives as much as they should. In some cases, they even thought that by being a hard work and provider for the family is enough, which pointed out the different between a family with a truly successful son, and the one that become the NEET.
If asking why young men in Asia don’t reach out for help on mental health breakdown is another topic in itself, as Asia seems not full open to discuss about mental issues as much as the West does.
It was only when I found other fresh perspectives about life and not to depend on others validations of success. That was when I got hope and came out of this stage starting new life under my own terms as long as it doesn’t anyone(maybe a little bit to their egos😅).
Is it hikkikomori if I'm off the grid in isolation? Cause to that question: what if the power turns off, I guarantee you, that's what happens, a lot of people just prefer that
Yes, like being a hermit. It is about distancing yourself from societal norms and the rat race.
Im 49 years old. I live alone. I only go to work or out to shop when i absolutely have to. Most of my medical appointments are over telehealth. I had 2 appointments over the phone today. I have gotten really bad about withdrawaling myself from society. I cant stand the changes in society so i stay home ❤
MGTOW is what we have to do to be safe. Change the law or leave us alone.
As a boomer and veteran, so I have noticed. MGTOW it is for a number of reasons.
Mgtow is the biggest cope I have seen in my entire life . If your a man grab life by the balls and exert your will into fixing your country
I stammer, i would like to socialize but its too hard and painful. I basically have no friends, only family. Im 28 currently and im already really tired of life. Even thought i work, im scared of the future.
I can't blame them sometimes allowing people into your life, puts you at the risk of allowing abusers into your life like narcissists, sociopaths, etc.
We joke about it with my cousin. If you make it a Finnish word "Hikikomero" it means "sweat closet" which also is fitting. So when a good game comes out he says he's moving into the Hikikomero 😆 and just stay there watching anime and playing the game
10:29
I always heard the same from handsome men and women in general.
You people have to understand there's nothing one can do about it.
We're in this situation because of reasons, reasons we don't have control over them.
Those reasons are our face and our height.
We can try to go to clubs, a lot of of them and the same actions will happen to us again and again.
Let's remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”
In our case also applies doing different things over and over again but having the same results.
You're welcome and thank!!
I totally understand. Society has gone to garbage. Biggest part of the problem is women can make false accusations & ruin lives.
I don’t think that’s the biggest problem at all 😐 I definitely think it’s internet.
@@PaulWolferton This started going wrong because of the laws before most people even had internet.
@vashmatrix5769 that's extremely far away of even being a relevant problem on a societal level
@@goldenretriever1528 😆 Godlessness is the root. Fatherless homes are the #1 sared factor on most problems. Now, MGTOW & don't even want to be around women in the workplace because of how unsafe it is for us.
@@goldenretriever1528 😆 Godlessness is the root. Fatherless homes are the #1 sared factor on most problems. Now, MGTOW & don't even want to be around women in the workplace because of how unsafe it is for us.
For me, what has helped is connecting with people online and then going outside and sharing pictures of what I do outside. I enjoy taking hikes and sending beautiful photos to my online friends
I am 50 this year. For the last 30 years I have been alone and living in 1 room flats and back and forwards to my parents. The only reason I go outside is to go to work and food. I worked alone in basements mainly and if outside I have headphones and sunglasses on or I can't deal with it and in the last 10 years get major panic attacks that shut my body down. All I do during the day is sit in front of the computer and play games or watch nonsense. I have a degree in 3D animation but have zero interest in the work. I can't answer the phone, check emails or bank accounts, go to the mailbox, or make appointments or deal with governement/money.
My doctors have "diagnosed" me with avoidant personality disorder. But I just gave up. I lost interest in the world and everything in it. I lost my passions for my hobbies. I gave up, it all seems a bit pointless. I understand these people.
"Hey, why are you isolating yourself from everyone?"
"Society."
:(
I used to be social, but since moved to Korea i had been living in isolation for more than 5 years now ( i do have works and independent). Koren society is very isolated, although i would like to go out and enjoy the nature but Korean’s nature is very depressing. This country has nearly eliminate all nature, everywhere there’s some man made things in it. Going out seeing Korean things just made me feel even more depressed.
The things is this the houses and infrastructure in this country looks really sad and boring. I can’t wait to get out of the country. I find it helpful to organize and decorate your room in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Notice this girl’s room has lots of care to it. If you gonna stay in your room for a long time, make it looks and feel comfortable. A common theme i see with people who died a lonely death that their room is often a mess. It’s depressing to look at and it offer no help for mental health. I have lots of plants in my room, and it help a lot. It’s like a little bubble that kept me from the actual depression outside
Oh, and you mentioned media these people are taking in -- that's another thing - DON'T listen to depressing, angry, etc. music, for example. You might think it makes you feel better & helps you, that it's cathartic, but it's not. It's making it worse.
Yea Hollywood is evil they use oppressive frequencies when they record music! I went a bit grunge in my younger years and thought I identified with the music but actually now think it programmed my mind into a state of darkness😮
It’s mostly due to the fall of morality, you just can’t trust anyone not to hurt or betray you in someway anymore. Just that I’ve been backstabbed by most people I know or knew, including my own mother and my brother other members of the family. So yeah you can’t even trust family members anymore. Immorality breaks down social trust. If you can’t trust people, why know them. I can backstab myself just fine. My barbell and dumbbells comfort me, as long as I respect them they will never betray me 😁
Real and true.
Its an economic issue 1st that then impacts social standings causing depression and eventually Hikikomori's. Look into the economy they have had post ww2. This is a problem that has festered for generations now.
I'm not a hikikomori, I'm just extremely introverted person. I go outside like once a week but I don't miss thé world outside. I have a great time because I'm working on my project and I don't spend all my time on social media or whatever. Talking to 2 persons IRL and journaling are quite enough for me. I feel like I make people a round me incomfortable so being alone is the best choice for me and for people, and I don't regret it. You don't need to ne constantly surrounded by people to feel happy.
You could do a video about this in the US. They’re not hikikomorri, but they are lonely, isolated and atomized. Here we call them “single” and they are legion
Just a modern hermit, but a manga reader one.I have been like that for years and nobody gave me a cool name.
The current dating scene just makes this stuff more and more understandable and relatable, and it's just ONE of many factors.
Some of the wisest spiritual monks I've come across have found bliss in solitude and living a simple life. Are the hikikomori so different?
I was in a chick fi la and I saw some kids eating with their parents they had to be like 13, using iPads while eating, I was dumbfounded like you couldn’t put it down for a few hours
One of the best opportunities for life success is contacts established through actually real world relationships. Not being able to talk to people face to face or handle socially challenging situations is a serious problem. Too many people live in a fantasy bubble.
People, often men due to the high expectations put on them, crumble emotionally, and avoidance is all they can do to alleviate that pressure, strong male role models can make this even worse, as the example and expectation to succeed can be unbearable
I’m 20 and I do this. I have no social life I stay in my apartment all day long don’t even go out once. Besides for work but before work and after work I don’t even go out I just stay inside all day. I have no social life not a single friend and no gf. Why even try at this point? The closest thing I’d say to me being social is me posting My train vids on yt.
The youngest, healthiest years of your lives do not last forever. This is the time to try new things, take risks, and yes to make mistakes and mess up. Its how you learn, how you grow and become better. How you meet new people. The problem is that once people get comfortable in isolation they let that precious time slip away until one day, its too late. It's tragic to see.
I remember being a Hikikomori without even knowing the word in 2020. Because of how Covid and depression hit me like a truck.
I used to be a lot more like that, but I'm a lot better now, and what helped me was exercising getting in shape, eating better and reading through the Bible.
Literally I've read through all 66 books of the Bible almost three times now, and it's had a massive change in me and my mental health.
what's really strange is almost everything is the opposite of what's expected...
these guys are actually the most powerful resource in the world. And, they're totally neglected, it's a crime against potential.
Wasting valuable resources is a crime against humanity.
All the people out there chasing 'cookies' (awards, success, attention etc.) are just repeating, mimicking, repeating, mimicking, repeating what they know everyone wants to see and hear.
They're human parrots living for applause.
They're not actually productive, they're maintaining things at best.
anything original will actually come from the people who can't or won't play the game everyone else is playing.
Example: if two chess players sit down to play chess. The only thing they'll play is chess, the only rules they'll follow are the rules of chess.
Nothing else could be expected to happen, until a tennis player was invited to join the chess game. Then it's anyone's guess what would happen next.
(the chess players and chess game represent society, the tennis player represents the shut-in)
My parents would just throw me out lmao
and you would be homeless on the street without parents lmao
I wonder if that is legal?
Yeah the parents share at least half the blame. They need to give their kids some tough love so they become self sufficient adults.
Because you don’t understand most parents are ashamed of their kids that are like that so is easier to hide them than trow them out and tell your neighbors you “failed” as a parent, asians want their kids to work for zaibatsu,chaebols, be doctors or engineers ect
Also, tough love won't do anything, most hikikomori die once they have no one to suppirt their lifestyle. Most of them rather die than return to society.
5:32 The pre-tech version of this was being an animal person. You would have people who were extremely socially isolated, but they had cats or dogs or other pets that they spent all their time with. And it's common for people who live that way to make excuses to the effect of "oh, the animals are all the social interaction I need." Nah, it's not even close to being the same thing. Animals have their benefits, but it's 100% not social interaction the way it is with a human.
I really think extrovert ought to stop being so hung up on the fact that very introverted persons do not need human interaction.
@@adalheidisofadamahcaptaino18 Not an extrovert. And my point still stands: Animals do not provide the same quality of social interaction that humans do.
"It's NOT ok to be Weak".
God.
I actually have heard of these Hikkikomori people before year's ago.
But I honestly didn't know how bad it really was until I watched this video!!
This is so sad!!
This freaks me out ... I spend way too much time on my phone. Man i really need to get rid of my phone...
Imagine your parents are struggling to pay their rent/mortgage and struggling to pay bills but you’re stuck in your room being a lazy pos not helping them
If somebody was super rich and lived in a mansion with a swimming pool I don't think they'd get looked down on for hanging out at home all the time.
I think I fall into this category not sure, I stopped trying socially and only leave the house for groceries.. Don't really see the point in trying anymore, just waiting for this life to end.
Depopulation and depravity