I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 14 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 39 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous haters and are very miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker who follows women after work. All bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and don't try to defend myself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best to ignore them and let them find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums ever win.
Things to do 1. Hold on to the facts 2. Don’t defend your reality 3. Disengage and don’t continue debating with the person 4. Don’t react in a negative way ( gas-lighters lie, deny and do the crazy- making) so give them no reaction 5. Don’t take the bait (gas-lighters want you to defend your reality so don’t engage) 6. They will push you and poke even more to gain ‘control’ over you and your reality ( again: don’t engage! Gas-lighters know they are lying deliberately to pull you in so don’t give them no power) 7. You will experience a lot of hurt and the gas-lighter won’t take any accountability so don’t show them the impact they had on you, and when you do reengage with the person realise who and what you’re dealing with ( if in a relationship with one: it’s time to take off the rose tinted glasses and see this person for a lying, gaslighting and self righteous a**hole that they are! When we put partners on a pedestal we think they are the best thing BUT far from the truth they are capable of manipulation, lying, and self preservation to the point of throwing you under the bus so don’t accept it and don’t fall for it) 8. Keep your distance from now and be on guard 9. Only trust yourself and realise nobody even if it’s your partner, family or friends will choose you over them! 10. Don’t believe everything that person tells you ( they could lie and tell half truths! You won’t know ever so the only thing you can be certain about is that you will be uncertain about what this person tells you) 11. Don’t give them power 12. Don’t share your weaknesses or be vulnerable 13. Find a supportive circle of friends or family 14. Work on your self -confidence ( people who gaslight whether it’s intentional or not hate themselves like deep down they are so broken, insecure and full of low self-esteem but realise that’s their burden and not yours and as hurt as you will be from the experience of being gaslighted KNOW this: this person is very very very self loathing, if they do anything it’s because deep down they have no self love) Like one of my favourite quotes “ you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else”
Best way to stop being gaslighted? The minute you feel like your getting gas lit leave! You don’t need validation or acceptance from someone messing up your energy. 👌🏾
It's not that easy. Some people have issues and you love them unconditionally.. how can you just move on from that which is so hard to find in the 1st place.. love
@@anonblonde Yes it is very hard to detach ourself from them. But the longer you're attached the longer you suffer. So don't delay even if it's going to be drastic & harsh
I mean if your love then why not try to work it out. Especially if you know the gas lighting is happening. Let them know fix them to be better. If that don’t work then yes leave
I realized this when calling out someone who recently gas lit me. I asked "are you gaslighting me?" Instant regret. They say "no, I think your mind isn't where it should be" psssshhh yeah, bye
I voice recorded my conversation with my gas lighter gf and played it back to her as she denied saying volatile remarks. That’s how you stop a gas lighter and end the relationship
I did that and he somehow manipulates it even further how he didn't say it even though its on the recording, hes hearing it and saying I'm twisting words blah blah blah
Damn skippy. Then they try to condemn you because you recorded them. Its the combination of intimidation and deflection that is the basis of their “outrage”
I record every conversation with the gas lighter. We do not both remember it wrong. What I recall is nearly wird for word how it went. What the gaslighter remembers is light years away from what happened. Assuming couples each remember wrong hurts the one being gaslit.
The worst part of the gaslighting..is when the perpetrator convinces other to shun you..or demanding answers from you but believe you are not good enough to ask them.
I get gaslighted everyday. It hurts and yes people turn others against you. I hate the things they say and I’m honestly hurting because all I want to do is love people.
Yes same I have been dealing with a person like that and then she gaslighted me that I demand and gaslighted that I attacked her when I said that I hope she is doing good today and then I realized being too nice can cost so much
Sadly I had this from a sibling as a child! She manipulated the rest of my siblings that I was mad! When all my nieces n nephews grew up I though it would end! Sadly they knew me as "mad aunty Sue" 😢 it never eva ends! I had to let ALL my family go! 😢😢😢it was heartbreaking...but I moved on and have some lovely friends who love me ❤xx
Unpleasant??? Wow...you would love to hear my videos of him! And you're correct...he had ME almost gaslighting HIM as a tactic bc of the attack. I didnt tell the cops he's bipolar bc all I know is what he told me. He would constantly bug me in my space for benadryl to sleep. Then, he IMPLIES that I "could" abuse my sisters meds! That's where I snapped...I told the cops and offered ON THE SPOT to go do a blood test or they need to shut it down. They simply told him that none of his issues are crimes and if he wants to leave...leave. The one cop was trying not to laugh😘
They are demons! Sociopaths and Narcissists! I’ve had several in my life. Teacher, classmate, coworker, boss, etc. they are destructive. Good video. Thank you. ME ALSO! No more abuse!!! Amen!
Dennis. What happened. I have a relative like that. We are all somewhat narcissists. It’s not just gas lighting, these videos miss out a chunk. It usually progresses to something physical. I decided to avoid a narcissistic relative years ago. I saw them again once and he wanted to fight me. I think I made the right choice!
Conversations with a toxic person in general and specifically with a gashlighter consume soooo much energy from you. You end up not communicate with the other and also you end up confused. They get you off your alignment for sure!
Yes! When I had this whole initial event sat night...I was mildly drained from a few months if my room mate slowly getting into my space. Bumming smokes, constantly wanting allergy medicine, texting me every time I left the house then whining "I called you five times! I was worried!" When all I did was run out to the store. Trust your gut...shut these creeps down as soon as that controlling shyt starts!
Totally this. I was so caught up in patting myself on the back for successfully foiling his attempts that I ignored that just putting up with him once I realized he wouldn’t ever change was totally draining all my energy
Ohhhh my gosh. That is exactly how I feel lately. I remember the night I realized I was just mentally exhausted so clearly. And now even having normal is hard and always thinking they have some alternative motive if they're being nice. It sucks.
If you keep calling out their gaslighting when they are doing it. It only took about 4 times of my saying "that is called gaslighting, what you just said to me, it has a name its called gaslighting" you'll eventually stop hearing from them. They can't do change or accountability or apologizing so they'll stop calling if you stop calling.
My ex-husband would threaten and accuse me of being crazy all the time to get me to behave a certain way. To anyone out there stuck in this kind of relationship if you're not married, get out, and get out fast! Find someone who will love and value you as the wonderful unique person you are.
What do I do when I recognize someone's trying to gaslight me? I tell them that I recognize that they're trying to gaslight me, laugh, and THANK THEM for the good laugh I just had! They HATE that! 99% of the time, it ends their attempts. As soon as a narcissist, or narcissistic person, realizes you can't be manipulated, they usually leave for good. Sometimes, it may take a few defeats to send them away though.
I've been gas lit my whole life, so I took my own feelings and thoughts with a grain, if not a pound, of salt. It wasnt until the last year that I've had slightly more backbone to call them out when they try it now. Of course they'll deny it, too. But when they say *you're* the gaslighter: it can mess you up. I mean if the gaslighter was a sibling or parent and did this to you during your development, how many times have you done the same to other people without knowing it? But its important to remember who the real abuser is, and the fact that they tried to make you the same way then deny doing so only buries them below bedrock. It's not a fight that's won, just disconnected and abandoned when you realize this person never had any intention of every actually helping you or being your friend if they treated you like garbage.
let garbage hang with garbage, somethings got to give , there's got to be a pecking order with these people, it's something ingrained into their psyche. Unless it becomes the whole group sticking to group think, then it's bullying and they've hit rock bottom.
This is true. When you remember all the time they had no intention of being your friend or helping you. And all the investment in the relationship came from you, to feed their narcissism.
I tried going no contact & she started looking for a fight. It's like she hates seeing me happy. This type of behaviour is damaging long term. This is the story of my life. But I'm determined to be strong & make it out of this situation with my sanity intact. Mental health is so important
Moral of the story is this is truly evil manipulation and it is a crime against your soul because it is deception. The gaslighter is dangerous because of their need to wanting to be able to control how you feel. You can't cross someones boundaries of their emotions. You are violating their soul.
You can't argue or compromise With a gaslighter or who you think is gaslighting you. The other person may be truthful and you could be wrong.. If theirs no respect for each other simply leave them alone that's the only 100% foolproof way to stop gaslighting or you mistakenly gaslighting someone.
The perfect test is just stop. Tell the person that you dont control them, ur fine whatever they choose and to please leave me alone. Please, just respect my boundaries and leave me alone. If this is untenable...they will go silent then incessantly bother u over totally unrelated things. NO! Doesn't mean no to a narcissistic psycho...it means TRY HARDER, GO LOWER. DEFAME, CRITCIZE, INFLAME! It's the worst sort of harassment bc its PERSONAL...in ur house, in ur family or at work. Well, kick them out. Move out, disown, go hermit, get a diff job. Keeping your sanity is the only healthy choice. Keep texts and records bc this can get really nasty
Arguing or negotiating just perpetuates the dynamic of them having power & mentally torturing you. It implies to them you will take more abuse. Just disengage emotionally & physically leave if needs be.
That last point about getting some supportive therapy is valuable. I have just become aware of how lacking in confidence I have become because of the consistent gas lighting I have been subject to. Wow, I've become brainwashed by this person!
took me 28 years to find out there is a word for this behaviour. Family made me believe all my life that I was ill. Now I actually am and there's no way to fix it, just move as far away from them as possible and never look back
There is no craziness if you trust yourself. Leave the codependency inner state and move on freely valuing yourself. Say goodbye to everything that denies what you are. You are precious. 👍
They never want to talk .just attack .34 years I delt with it.i did all I could do to change things 34 yrs.later o..... i.left 24 years after there the same today but I'm am free God cutt the rope and set me free when I prayer for answers to him alone 24years ago thank you Jesus and he lead me in the way to go daily since.He truly loves us. So much he died on the cross and rose again for my /your sins .he leads you if you go to him alone.pure love💖💖💖💖💖🙏 🙏💖🤔💖💖💖💖
It seems like as someone like me too that has been diagnosed with a mental illness, i am easy pray to get gaslit because its getting told " you need help! When you know you're getting gaslit. As if they hide behind your mental illness as a shield or a weapon
I followed all rules and advice given by you.. In short.. my story's long but here a part. What happened ? The arguments got more violent and heavy. She would come back tenthfold.. yes at times she would stop In her tracks but when a argument arises? Or an issue? She's back 10th fold.. What you should add is.. and I saw she was losing every argument.. she was losing control over me and her ways of gaslighting.. she started to ask for space and blame me for things in her life.. what I did? Right a few days before my birthday. I went through a heavy financial hole.. my father kicked me out. She states "I don't need to hear this.." So I said take your space I love you and haven't responded to her 1 texts a day after.. now I'll be spending my birthday and Halloween alone broken and ruined.. But your advice works.. just know a deadly gaslighter like her will blow up. I just feel like trash.. and she almost lead me down self harm.. thanks for your advice. I hope out there what I wrote helps.. Take care all.
Resistance is often the natural response to change. It can be scary at times because there’s a lot of uncertainty in how one will or won’t respond to the change. A professional therapist or coach can be an great resource to help us navigate these types of situations. Www.psychologytoday.com has a great directory of therapists.
I’ve been used to this my dad was this way and watched my mom date the same geek then I was copying now I’ve gotta get my confidence back and build myself up to what I deserve
My mom did this to me in my place...first thing she did right while walking in the door "your socks look dingy" Right away i was pissed off...how dare her say that shit in my place. Then she started acting like nothing happened and not talking about it...shutting me down when I asked. I got so pissed off I kicked her out of my place, then she turned around and made me feel bad for feeling in validated. Yea mom I love you but I can easily do that with you in Florida and me here...You don't fucking walk into a family members home and call their place a shithole, you act respectful...it's NOT your house shut your cake hole.
My gaslighters use a tactic I call "bopping" when they devise to do or say something as yet unexpectd and so far removed from reality that it discombobulates you then they quickly slip in as much misinformation as possible while your stunned. They especially use it in front people and loved ones. The more loved the better. Both parents and my brother unfortunately are my gaslighters. They target me because im only one who knows what they are and could potentially expose them. Theyve done everything just short of killing me. my sisters escaped the illness cleanly. My life is a wreck because I love them still and wouldn't stop trying to resolve everything with them. Iv finally learned to let them go completely. Iv been manipulated my whole life into being so reliant on them that the only way I can escape them now is to be homeless buut I lost my arm this year from all the stress so I'll have my own place through social security. Stay strong everyone
Years ago I knew an individual who was being gaslit by several individuals conspiring. The guy reversed the roles. Then the people doing the gaslighting just upped their antics and in return, the individual upped his antics. This back and forth was still going on the last I knew of the individual. I still wonder about that dude. It always scared me because the other people were the aggressors and I was afraid that this poor guy was going to hurt himself one day because of them.
Great question. Avoiding gaslighters is not usually a viable option. Learning to trust yourself, establishing healthy boundaries, and speaking truth to bullshit are usually better options.
Me? I've been framed up and accused by my former professors and colleagues for distortion, dissociation, and misidentification that would make me look crazy and stupid.
The first problem is: a good gaslighter really achieve the target convincing you all is your fault, you have "something weird lately", you were not like that before etc ... you really believe it and to make it worst enough you have a lot of examples that you are getting crazy in some way, as conclusion you just don't recognize yourself anymore. You don't know you have been manipulated !! People don't use to know the word gaslighting even ... The first step to stop it is realize over the problem even partially It is easy to say: "just stop and go away" but it is not so simple when you are inside the hole I had it without notice it. After 3 years I had just 1 thing sure: I was not anymore me and the last time that I was 100% me was before move abroad following my "sweet love". I did the list of possible reasons and believe me, he was not my first guess: be isolated by the language was in the top, be outside my context was the second etc etc he was not even in the top 5 and for each possible reason I was guilty in some way. So full of shame I was that I decided to stop my relationship just to return to the point when I was me: back to my country and culture, take the time to recover myself etc ... then he react making me the biggest favor ever: he hit me and I ran away of the physical aggression. Luckily in my job the asked me stay for specific reasons. The first covid-lockdown started 5 days after I went out the house and it was no possible to have physical contact, I added don't answer any call, text etc just to think clear all and feeling cruel for that. Long story short: being alone with all the complexity of the hard lockdown in Belgium I got back myself very fast and until now I realize day to day little details, I have no idea when I will finish realizing all. The start of the clarity was a consequence to be apart. I'm doubting if people still together with their aggressor can have the change to get it. Gabby Petito case called my attention, just because of her case I'm watching now this videos and learning and understanding a lot of my own personal story. People saying things like: "just stop it" make you feel again guilty, people who see it so "easy and simple" are just helping the gasligther. All that expressions are other versions of other famous sentences of most gastligthers, just think about it.
Either gaslighting has worked on me or for me. We both accuse each other of it but I don't believe I'm doing it. We both say the same phases and we both believe we are in the right and that the other one is the abuser. I feel like you try to set up boundaries and they will steam roll over them. My argument has been taken away from me and used against me. I have confided in others about what to do only to have them turn me over to her and she says Im trying to destroy her with all the lies I tell everyone. So I'm isolated and can't trust anyone to help me. Most dont want to be involved, I'm assuming because she can be a force to be reckoned with. She's not someone you want mad at you, because because she won't hesitate trying to torment you even if it means destroying her own life. To the good though. I can go anywhere in the world. If she is with me I fear no other human or animal.
Mocking, sarcasm, etc are games children play. We have decide what kind of game we want to play in life and in our relationships. Do you want to play “dirty games” or is your game one built on integrity, honesty, kindness, and boundaries?
I go catatonic with my gaslighting wife it usually subsides. There is no absolute way to stop a gaslighter. I gnore the BS. She usually comes back to her kind self.
Unfortunately the healthier is to leave this relationship. Sad true. There is no other option. Their behavior will always repeat fiercely to hurt you without any concern with your well-being.... just expect confusion, blame shifting, false accusations, non sense excuses, gaslighting, provocations, insinuations, etc. 😢 Save yourself from the harm. They're not light, they're darkness.
When you believe lies, your easy to be gas-lighted. Learn the truth and Live by it and No one can Gaslight you. Lying is Popular today, don`t fall for Lies and Liars.
I always try and justify myself to the gaslighter. in my head I just cant believe they'd deny something so deliberately. They must just be mistaken, it gets me everytime. then I get shouted down and still try and explain what actually happened. you cant keep someone on topic who shouts
My husband counts everything I do and says and says that’s not what you said or I didn’t say that.and I get the silent treatment if I express how I feel or make any kind of comment that goes against his recollection.
Good question. Yes, parents can be gaslighters, too. My encouragement is to show compassion but learn to trust yourself. Having a therapist to help walk you through this is ideal.
Abby...have you ever done a life timeline? It's pretty basic but harder than ppl think. Get a piece of white paper, turn to landscape and draw a line across the top. Leave room to jot down words. Starting at your age now on the right side, make a mark at 5 yr intervals down to 5 yrs old. Put a mark every yr after that to birth. So starting on the left it reads birth thru all your ages to now on the rt. Just stare at it for a few moments. Now, put it somewhere you're sure to stumble onto in a few days. What this does for the brain is what marinade does for meat! It's in there sort of knocking about bc ur brain KNOWS it's an unfinished task. Like trying to remember a name? Ya give up and like 3 days later it just seems to jump at you out of nowhere! After you run into it...get quiet and look at each milestone and come up with your most vivid memories starting on the rt. As you get to younger yrs it will get more sporadic/less memories until u just cant go any further. Put it away again. Dont go back to it until your brain teases out a memory that isn't on there. Keep putting it away until it starts at least as young as 1-2 yrs old. This exercise, for me, exposed that without my immediate knowledge or even accessible memory, my oldest clear memory is my father came in from work. I was in a high chair...maybe just beginning to walk bc I had white striders on. My mom was "dolling up" like the wives used to...and something was smoking to my rt. My dad opens the oven, waves at the smoke then screams, YOU BURNED IT AGAIN!!! My mom comes rushing to aplogise... and he balled up his fist and knocked her out! She was OUT. And I remember him turning to me, still w his fists clenched...and he turned and walked over her to take a shower. He didnt even check to see if she was still alive. So now, I know what drove my mother to alcoholism. I know it's not WHO she was, or what she wanted. It was her only means to cope in an abusive situation w someone threatening to kill her and us if she ever left him. I found empathy for her. I vowed to NEVER allow abuse in my life. I forgave her for not being there to protect me because staying alive WAS the only way to protect me. I never found peace about my mom until I found understanding and empathy. And it's this timeline exercise that helped! Try it!
Yes, but if they are unaware they will be receptible when you are explaining to them how their behaviour is damaging. They will have a will to improve. If it is intentional, they keep on twisting. My view on it..
Well thing I do was go get a mental health assessment said I'm not mental so next time they said I'm insane need to be commited mental hospital I pulled out the drs paper 😅😅😅
I’ve just told a builder scammer to stop waisting be time, this trades man has led me on for months. I recognised the lying excuses and the gaslighting because I was going around and around in circles with this fella. He fooled me brilliantly took moneys to buy the stock I’ve never seen it and he’s never done the job he was to do. 🤨 He is holding the stock ( if he bought it?) to randsome for more funds. 😖 I dislike this vile person for waisting months on my build . This gaslighter is crazy 😜 he is nuts sends really positive messages pretending we are moving forward etc But then gaslights it doesn’t occur… it’s so clever actually.
I stupidly let my husband talk me into buying my MOL's house and letting her live on the second level. I could fill a book with the way she's gaslighted me. When I talk about my hobbies (I make bath soap) she announces to everyone in the room that if she wants soap, she'll just go to the store and buy it. Every time I bring up something I've excelled at or done well she finds a way to crap all over it. Six years ago my husband's step dad passed away and she's still milking it for all the sympathy she can get. Four years ago, my mom died and then a year later, my only sibling died. Whenever I try and talk about how that made me feel, she immediately flips the conversation to her loss. She never tries to console me or tells me she feels bad for me--she always makes it about her. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Okay, you're the most bereaved! You get the trophy, you're the only person deserving to be consoled over their loss! When my 93 year old aunt died (I was very close to her) my MOL's response was, "Well, it's not like you weren't expecting it." A normal person would have tried to say something consoling. I don't know how you'd handled it and I don't know if therapy would change anything but I do know when the old witch dies, I'm going to her funeral in a red dress.
And what then to do of the torment, the torture, the grief, the regret, the guilt, the darkness, the rage, the hopelessness, the hell, the rape of my soul? God has truly forsaken me. I am no longer a believer.
He will never leave you or forsake you but humans will , he still loves you and believes in you , you can do it , don’t give up . I promise it will get better but it is going to take patience and love for yourself. Love you and go on to healing and never give up , you’ve got this and God is there and will repay ❤
Bro, I am not even sure what you mean “ your feeling matters “ even though it’s based only on emotions. My wife is mad at me because I could not find a gift for her birthday. What should I do ? Does it really matter ? I’ve been with you through thick and thin you’re mad at me for such a dumb event. I wanted to give her a great gift she would really appreciate but she’s so picky and hard to please. So what do I do ?
How does one discern if one is being gaslit by a therapist or other health professional when one is already unsure of the correctness of their intuition about that person. If you address it head on the professional in question feels threatened and turns it back on you.
For anyone who has had the courage to get therapy, it is important to understand that therapy only works if the client feels safe and protected. If for some reason a client doesn’t feel safe with their therapist, then they should address the concern with the therapist. But if they don’t even feel safe doing that, then it might be time to find a new therapist.
I dunno. I’m a believer in talking about feelings, but if you keep twisting what I say in order to always be a victim, I’m unlikely to give a shit about you being upset about it.
I am working on an article identifying 12 typologies of gaslighting. “The Victim” is one of those twelve. So, stay tuned. I hope to have more content on it sooner than later.
I need help I had this so long I'm losing myself there winning n I'm in deep all ppl think iam what she says n I'm crazy nothing I recall is accurate ever my feeling are never listened to let alone matter I'm losi g the ability to put it in context what do I do
You know….that is a really good question. I know we can lie to ourselves, but not so sure if we can gaslight ourselves. I’ll have to think more on it, but my inclination is to say “no, gaslighting is something done TO US not something we do to OURSELVES.” But, I need to think on it more. Thanks for the questions.
My BF is a gaslighter.... there have been several specific situations where he has said certain items of property were in fact his, when they were mine or that I acquired. The first time this happened was over a pizza pan I had bought since we had been together to replace an old one he had. He insisted HE bought the pizza pan and gave some specificish statement about this.. but I KNEW I had bought it and remembered. So my question.. on that.. was do Gaslighters KNOW they are gaslighting? Or are they remembering things differently? Also. I had a wall hanging in our bedroom (we now sleep in separate bedrooms due to our schedules and sleep patterns) I told him I wanted the wall hanging in my room. He was like that was his.. and I was like no.. no it isnt. We fought anf fought about this.. but I had a friend who had specifically given this to me (and they actually worked with Gujarat material and wallhangings) and I even remember where it was in my old house and i had a photo (that for a time I couldn't get my hands on ).. He said HE sold these and this was HIS blah blah blah.. He ended up giving it back to me and about 6 months or so ago I finally came across the photo of it in my old house.. and showed him. BUT These situations are exhausting and honestly DO make me feel crazy and scared... scared that he is remembering so much stuff differently... THe pizza pan thing freaked me out on many levels.. ugh..
and I knew I had acquired the Pan because he is not the one that ever goes to stores to buy items like this.. EVER.. I am the shopper in our relationship
Gaslighting is ALL OF THE ABOVE! They will question you to death and once drained of energy, they'll say things like, "I'm really worried about you." Or "you haven't seemed normal lately...everyone sees it." The trick us to get YOU questioning your own sanity! Its surprisingly easy to do if you know someone well enough. Especially if their behavior isolates you bc no one wants to deal with THEM! I should have removed my room mate when he put up cameras. One outside and one in his room. I thought that was sketchy but whatever! Later, he starts saying verbatim things I said when he wasnt even in the state. That's how I found out it audio tapes to. He never told me that part. So he got a word here or there...then would use it to control me. I had a nasty fall and my knee was BAD. By the 3rd night I made a comment that if I couldn't sleep that night I was gonna take a few of my sisters tramadol. He construe that into threatening me with the cops! Its not worth it. I would live in a tent, alone and content rather than this bs. Stay snarky! Dont let WORDS be put in ur mouth and get clear if the perp asap.
Check out this new series on the 12 Types of Gaslighting - ruclips.net/video/6XANUX7K2aU/видео.htmlsi=lBsBYbftZjXs1dP3
I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 14 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 39 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous haters and are very miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker who follows women after work. All bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and don't try to defend myself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best to ignore them and let them find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums ever win.
Things to do
1. Hold on to the facts
2. Don’t defend your reality
3. Disengage and don’t continue debating with the person
4. Don’t react in a negative way ( gas-lighters lie, deny and do the crazy- making) so give them no reaction
5. Don’t take the bait (gas-lighters want you to defend your reality so don’t engage)
6. They will push you and poke even more to gain ‘control’ over you and your reality ( again: don’t engage! Gas-lighters know they are lying deliberately to pull you in so don’t give them no power)
7. You will experience a lot of hurt and the gas-lighter won’t take any accountability so don’t show them the impact they had on you, and when you do reengage with the person realise who and what you’re dealing with ( if in a relationship with one: it’s time to take off the rose tinted glasses and see this person for a lying, gaslighting and self righteous a**hole that they are! When we put partners on a pedestal we think they are the best thing BUT far from the truth they are capable of manipulation, lying, and self preservation to the point of throwing you under the bus so don’t accept it and don’t fall for it)
8. Keep your distance from now and be on guard
9. Only trust yourself and realise nobody even if it’s your partner, family or friends will choose you over them!
10. Don’t believe everything that person tells you ( they could lie and tell half truths! You won’t know ever so the only thing you can be certain about is that you will be uncertain about what this person tells you)
11. Don’t give them power
12. Don’t share your weaknesses or be vulnerable
13. Find a supportive circle of friends or family
14. Work on your self -confidence ( people who gaslight whether it’s intentional or not hate themselves like deep down they are so broken, insecure and full of low self-esteem but realise that’s their burden and not yours and as hurt as you will be from the experience of being gaslighted KNOW this: this person is very very very self loathing, if they do anything it’s because deep down they have no self love)
Like one of my favourite quotes “ you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else”
🗣^^^ ALL of THIS! 🎯🎯🎯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you!🙏
🙂🙂Thanks! Jasmine 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
thanks
Beautifully written 🎉
Best way to stop being gaslighted? The minute you feel like your getting gas lit leave! You don’t need validation or acceptance from someone messing up your energy. 👌🏾
It's not that easy. Some people have issues and you love them unconditionally.. how can you just move on from that which is so hard to find in the 1st place.. love
What if they're your medical caretaker/parent, and are now working on fixing (some) of the issues?
@@anonblonde Yes it is very hard to detach ourself from them. But the longer you're attached the longer you suffer. So don't delay even if it's going to be drastic & harsh
I mean if your love then why not try to work it out. Especially if you know the gas lighting is happening. Let them know fix them to be better. If that don’t work then yes leave
I realized this when calling out someone who recently gas lit me. I asked "are you gaslighting me?" Instant regret. They say "no, I think your mind isn't where it should be" psssshhh yeah, bye
I voice recorded my conversation with my gas lighter gf and played it back to her as she denied saying volatile remarks. That’s how you stop a gas lighter and end the relationship
everyone should do this
I've done this and still got me no where she didn't believe it even after listening
@@weableemmerson Omg, a true crazy person!
I did that and he somehow manipulates it even further how he didn't say it even though its on the recording, hes hearing it and saying I'm twisting words blah blah blah
Damn skippy. Then they try to condemn you because you recorded them. Its the combination of intimidation and deflection that is the basis of their “outrage”
I leave without second thought. I have no patience with gaslighters...
I record every conversation with the gas lighter. We do not both remember it wrong. What I recall is nearly wird for word how it went. What the gaslighter remembers is light years away from what happened. Assuming couples each remember wrong hurts the one being gaslit.
Agree. I think it's not fair to make the assumption that both remember that wrong. 😢
The impact of what was said was earth shattering that day. How can you forget something that changed your life in such a drastic way? 😢
I don’t know if we ever truly forget, unfortunately.
The worst part of the gaslighting..is when the perpetrator convinces other to shun you..or demanding answers from you but believe you are not good enough to ask them.
Yeah my dads got my mom against me. She thinks I’m crazy or overreacting by holding him accountable for him being disrespectful.
I get gaslighted everyday. It hurts and yes people turn others against you. I hate the things they say and I’m honestly hurting because all I want to do is love people.
Yes! Gaslighters are also Smear Campaigners. BSC. It absolutely amazes me what great actors they are and how everyone believes them. It's sickening.
Yes same I have been dealing with a person like that and then she gaslighted me that I demand and gaslighted that I attacked her when I said that I hope she is doing good today and then I realized being too nice can cost so much
Sadly I had this from a sibling as a child! She manipulated the rest of my siblings that I was mad! When all my nieces n nephews grew up I though it would end! Sadly they knew me as "mad aunty Sue" 😢 it never eva ends! I had to let ALL my family go! 😢😢😢it was heartbreaking...but I moved on and have some lovely friends who love me ❤xx
4 ways to stop gaslighting
1 - Goodbye
2 - Adios
3 - Arrivederci
4 - Sayōnara
Exactly...but what if you have to work next to them or they are in your family. Sometimes, temporarily, you have to deal with them.
😆😆😆😆
😂😂😂😂😂😂 best comment
You cracked me up!!!!!
Au revoir
Gaslighting is so messed up. I only had to deal with it for a few months once in a relationship and let's just say I am glad it's over.
Yes! To say it’s an unpleasant experience is an understatement.
Gaslighting also comes from parents.
Unpleasant??? Wow...you would love to hear my videos of him! And you're correct...he had ME almost gaslighting HIM as a tactic bc of the attack. I didnt tell the cops he's bipolar bc all I know is what he told me. He would constantly bug me in my space for benadryl to sleep. Then, he IMPLIES that I "could" abuse my sisters meds! That's where I snapped...I told the cops and offered ON THE SPOT to go do a blood test or they need to shut it down. They simply told him that none of his issues are crimes and if he wants to leave...leave. The one cop was trying not to laugh😘
Thank God So did I have never been happier.
I take notes, that freaks them out.
They are demons! Sociopaths and Narcissists! I’ve had several in my life. Teacher, classmate, coworker, boss, etc. they are destructive. Good video. Thank you. ME ALSO! No more abuse!!! Amen!
Glad this was helpful/validating.
Dennis. What happened. I have a relative like that. We are all somewhat narcissists. It’s not just gas lighting, these videos miss out a chunk. It usually progresses to something physical. I decided to avoid a narcissistic relative years ago. I saw them again once and he wanted to fight me. I think I made the right choice!
Conversations with a toxic person in general and specifically with a gashlighter consume soooo much energy from you. You end up not communicate with the other and also you end up confused. They get you off your alignment for sure!
Yes! When I had this whole initial event sat night...I was mildly drained from a few months if my room mate slowly getting into my space. Bumming smokes, constantly wanting allergy medicine, texting me every time I left the house then whining "I called you five times! I was worried!" When all I did was run out to the store. Trust your gut...shut these creeps down as soon as that controlling shyt starts!
Totally this. I was so caught up in patting myself on the back for successfully foiling his attempts that I ignored that just putting up with him once I realized he wouldn’t ever change was totally draining all my energy
Ohhhh my gosh. That is exactly how I feel lately. I remember the night I realized I was just mentally exhausted so clearly. And now even having normal is hard and always thinking they have some alternative motive if they're being nice. It sucks.
If you keep calling out their gaslighting when they are doing it. It only took about 4 times of my saying "that is called gaslighting, what you just said to me, it has a name its called gaslighting" you'll eventually stop hearing from them. They can't do change or accountability or apologizing so they'll stop calling if you stop calling.
My ex-husband would threaten and accuse me of being crazy all the time to get me to behave a certain way. To anyone out there stuck in this kind of relationship if you're not married, get out, and get out fast! Find someone who will love and value you as the wonderful unique person you are.
Even if you are married, get out.
I can’t be gaslighted cause my dad did it my whole life. I don’t deal with that crap
What do I do when I recognize someone's trying to gaslight me? I tell them that I recognize that they're trying to gaslight me, laugh, and THANK THEM for the good laugh I just had! They HATE that! 99% of the time, it ends their attempts. As soon as a narcissist, or narcissistic person, realizes you can't be manipulated, they usually leave for good. Sometimes, it may take a few defeats to send them away though.
This is trusting your own reality.
People who distort the truth always like to call others " crazy " or use the " I didn't mean that " I wasn't saying that etc
Gaslighters definitely are crafty in this sort of thing, but not all people who use this terminology are gaslighters. Look for patterns.
If anyone is dealing with Gaslighting..Salute it show You have Value!!! Now Own it!!!
I've been gas lit my whole life, so I took my own feelings and thoughts with a grain, if not a pound, of salt. It wasnt until the last year that I've had slightly more backbone to call them out when they try it now. Of course they'll deny it, too. But when they say *you're* the gaslighter: it can mess you up. I mean if the gaslighter was a sibling or parent and did this to you during your development, how many times have you done the same to other people without knowing it? But its important to remember who the real abuser is, and the fact that they tried to make you the same way then deny doing so only buries them below bedrock. It's not a fight that's won, just disconnected and abandoned when you realize this person never had any intention of every actually helping you or being your friend if they treated you like garbage.
let garbage hang with garbage, somethings got to give , there's got to be a pecking order with these people, it's something ingrained into their psyche. Unless it becomes the whole group sticking to group think, then it's bullying and they've hit rock bottom.
This is true. When you remember all the time they had no intention of being your friend or helping you. And all the investment in the relationship came from you, to feed their narcissism.
I put a stop to it by divorcing the creep. He massively failed to successfully gaslight me lol
so proud of u x
I tried going no contact & she started looking for a fight. It's like she hates seeing me happy. This type of behaviour is damaging long term. This is the story of my life. But I'm determined to be strong & make it out of this situation with my sanity intact. Mental health is so important
Yes, our personal mental and emotional health is very important.
Moral of the story is this is truly evil manipulation and it is a crime against your soul because it is deception. The gaslighter is dangerous because of their need to wanting to be able to control how you feel. You can't cross someones boundaries of their emotions. You are violating their soul.
So agree ❤
You can't argue or compromise With a gaslighter or who you think is gaslighting you. The other person may be truthful and you could be wrong.. If theirs no respect for each other simply leave them alone that's the only 100% foolproof way to stop gaslighting or you mistakenly gaslighting someone.
The perfect test is just stop. Tell the person that you dont control them, ur fine whatever they choose and to please leave me alone. Please, just respect my boundaries and leave me alone. If this is untenable...they will go silent then incessantly bother u over totally unrelated things. NO! Doesn't mean no to a narcissistic psycho...it means TRY HARDER, GO LOWER. DEFAME, CRITCIZE, INFLAME! It's the worst sort of harassment bc its PERSONAL...in ur house, in ur family or at work.
Well, kick them out. Move out, disown, go hermit, get a diff job. Keeping your sanity is the only healthy choice. Keep texts and records bc this can get really nasty
Arguing or negotiating just perpetuates the dynamic of them having power & mentally torturing you. It implies to them you will take more abuse. Just disengage emotionally & physically leave if needs be.
My gaslighter wrecked my gut instinct 😕
That last point about getting some supportive therapy is valuable. I have just become aware of how lacking in confidence I have become because of the consistent gas lighting I have been subject to. Wow, I've become brainwashed by this person!
took me 28 years to find out there is a word for this behaviour. Family made me believe all my life that I was ill. Now I actually am and there's no way to fix it, just move as far away from them as possible and never look back
There is no craziness if you trust yourself. Leave the codependency inner state and move on freely valuing yourself. Say goodbye to everything that denies what you are. You are precious. 👍
They never want to talk .just attack .34 years I delt with it.i did all I could do to change things 34 yrs.later o.....
i.left
24 years after there the same today but I'm am free God cutt the rope and set me free when I prayer for answers to him alone 24years ago thank you Jesus and he lead me in the way to go daily since.He truly loves us. So much he died on the cross and rose again for my /your sins .he leads you if you go to him alone.pure love💖💖💖💖💖🙏
🙏💖🤔💖💖💖💖
It seems like as someone like me too that has been diagnosed with a mental illness, i am easy pray to get gaslit because its getting told " you need help! When you know you're getting gaslit. As if they hide behind your mental illness as a shield or a weapon
I don't exactly have an illness but I have PTSD and boarderline disorder. Yes, we are easy prays to those ugly creatures.
Yes. I have a really good therapist. I agree. I have been gaslighted it is just horrible.
Soo true.. unfortunately lawyers are guilty of gaslighting too..
I been call crazy. Yup glad I found you 🖤❤️💙💚♥️💜💛
Me too my friend. And in front of our daughter
I followed all rules and advice given by you..
In short.. my story's long but here a part.
What happened ?
The arguments got more violent and heavy. She would come back tenthfold.. yes at times she would stop In her tracks but when a argument arises? Or an issue? She's back 10th fold..
What you should add is.. and I saw she was losing every argument.. she was losing control over me and her ways of gaslighting.. she started to ask for space and blame me for things in her life.. what I did? Right a few days before my birthday. I went through a heavy financial hole.. my father kicked me out. She states "I don't need to hear this.."
So I said take your space I love you and haven't responded to her 1 texts a day after.. now I'll be spending my birthday and Halloween alone broken and ruined..
But your advice works.. just know a deadly gaslighter like her will blow up. I just feel like trash.. and she almost lead me down self harm.. thanks for your advice. I hope out there what I wrote helps..
Take care all.
Resistance is often the natural response to change. It can be scary at times because there’s a lot of uncertainty in how one will or won’t respond to the change. A professional therapist or coach can be an great resource to help us navigate these types of situations. Www.psychologytoday.com has a great directory of therapists.
My gaslighter isn't really strong
At first he used to get me and it was bad. Now I shut it down asap. I'm out the first exit that comes up.
23 years I have been Married to a Gaslighting/ Narcissistic Husband
I’ve been used to this my dad was this way and watched my mom date the same geek then I was copying now I’ve gotta get my confidence back and build myself up to what I deserve
1. Stop talking to them. Fixed it for you.
My mother deliberately lies to me about many things, and that has resulted in great damage to me over the last half century or so.
My mom did this to me in my place...first thing she did right while walking in the door "your socks look dingy" Right away i was pissed off...how dare her say that shit in my place. Then she started acting like nothing happened and not talking about it...shutting me down when I asked. I got so pissed off I kicked her out of my place, then she turned around and made me feel bad for feeling in validated. Yea mom I love you but I can easily do that with you in Florida and me here...You don't fucking walk into a family members home and call their place a shithole, you act respectful...it's NOT your house shut your cake hole.
Thank you so much for your help. Its a great thing to have tools to help you deal with these monsters.
My gaslighters use a tactic I call "bopping" when they devise to do or say something as yet unexpectd and so far removed from reality that it discombobulates you then they quickly slip in as much misinformation as possible while your stunned. They especially use it in front people and loved ones. The more loved the better. Both parents and my brother unfortunately are my gaslighters. They target me because im only one who knows what they are and could potentially expose them. Theyve done everything just short of killing me. my sisters escaped the illness cleanly. My life is a wreck because I love them still and wouldn't stop trying to resolve everything with them. Iv finally learned to let them go completely. Iv been manipulated my whole life into being so reliant on them that the only way I can escape them now is to be homeless buut I lost my arm this year from all the stress so I'll have my own place through social security. Stay strong everyone
I love the “bopping” term to describe that form of gaslighting.
Years ago I knew an individual who was being gaslit by several individuals conspiring. The guy reversed the roles. Then the people doing the gaslighting just upped their antics and in return, the individual upped his antics. This back and forth was still going on the last I knew of the individual. I still wonder about that dude. It always scared me because the other people were the aggressors and I was afraid that this poor guy was going to hurt himself one day because of them.
my father who has gaslit me my whole life just sent me a video about gaslighting lol
I just quit my job because some crazy shit like this x(
What if your family is gaslighting?
Normally i would just avoid anyone with that behaviour but in this case i cant.
Great question. Avoiding gaslighters is not usually a viable option. Learning to trust yourself, establishing healthy boundaries, and speaking truth to bullshit are usually better options.
Thank you ☺️ I really appreciate this video. It really speaks to my heart..
Thanks for letting me know that. It’s good hear these videos are helpful to some.
Me? I've been framed up and accused by my former professors and colleagues for distortion, dissociation, and misidentification that would make me look crazy and stupid.
It’s sad when you can’t even be healthy around your own family
Run
Thx for sharing tour knowledge and giving practical advice
You’re welcome . Thanks for watching.
The first problem is: a good gaslighter really achieve the target convincing you all is your fault, you have "something weird lately", you were not like that before etc ... you really believe it and to make it worst enough you have a lot of examples that you are getting crazy in some way, as conclusion you just don't recognize yourself anymore. You don't know you have been manipulated !!
People don't use to know the word gaslighting even ...
The first step to stop it is realize over the problem even partially
It is easy to say: "just stop and go away" but it is not so simple when you are inside the hole
I had it without notice it. After 3 years I had just 1 thing sure: I was not anymore me and the last time that I was 100% me was before move abroad following my "sweet love". I did the list of possible reasons and believe me, he was not my first guess: be isolated by the language was in the top, be outside my context was the second etc etc he was not even in the top 5 and for each possible reason I was guilty in some way. So full of shame I was that I decided to stop my relationship just to return to the point when I was me: back to my country and culture, take the time to recover myself etc ... then he react making me the biggest favor ever: he hit me and I ran away of the physical aggression. Luckily in my job the asked me stay for specific reasons.
The first covid-lockdown started 5 days after I went out the house and it was no possible to have physical contact, I added don't answer any call, text etc just to think clear all and feeling cruel for that.
Long story short: being alone with all the complexity of the hard lockdown in Belgium I got back myself very fast and until now I realize day to day little details, I have no idea when I will finish realizing all. The start of the clarity was a consequence to be apart. I'm doubting if people still together with their aggressor can have the change to get it.
Gabby Petito case called my attention, just because of her case I'm watching now this videos and learning and understanding a lot of my own personal story.
People saying things like: "just stop it" make you feel again guilty, people who see it so "easy and simple" are just helping the gasligther. All that expressions are other versions of other famous sentences of most gastligthers, just think about it.
Either gaslighting has worked on me or for me. We both accuse each other of it but I don't believe I'm doing it. We both say the same phases and we both believe we are in the right and that the other one is the abuser. I feel like you try to set up boundaries and they will steam roll over them. My argument has been taken away from me and used against me. I have confided in others about what to do only to have them turn me over to her and she says Im trying to destroy her with all the lies I tell everyone. So I'm isolated and can't trust anyone to help me. Most dont want to be involved, I'm assuming because she can be a force to be reckoned with. She's not someone you want mad at you, because because she won't hesitate trying to torment you even if it means destroying her own life. To the good though. I can go anywhere in the world. If she is with me I fear no other human or animal.
awesome video ,thank you man . I found your video is very helpful. You sound like a great therapist, honest and direct, Thanks again
Thanks for your kind words. Glad the video was helpful.
Whst if they mock your assertions ?
Mocking, sarcasm, etc are games children play. We have decide what kind of game we want to play in life and in our relationships. Do you want to play “dirty games” or is your game one built on integrity, honesty, kindness, and boundaries?
The first thing you do is leave ❤ just leave don’t argue with a bunch of strangers that’s crazy and cut toxic people out your life
I go catatonic with my gaslighting wife it usually subsides. There is no absolute way to stop a gaslighter. I gnore the BS. She usually comes back to her kind self.
You’re correct in that we cannot control what another person does or doesn’t do, we can only control our responses to them.
thanks
I've definitely stopped being polite.
Sometimes that’s necessary, as long as you don’t sacrifice self-respect in the process.
Unfortunately the healthier is to leave this relationship. Sad true. There is no other option. Their behavior will always repeat fiercely to hurt you without any concern with your well-being.... just expect confusion, blame shifting, false accusations, non sense excuses, gaslighting, provocations, insinuations, etc. 😢 Save yourself from the harm. They're not light, they're darkness.
When you believe lies, your easy to be gas-lighted. Learn the truth and Live by it and No one can Gaslight you. Lying is Popular today, don`t fall for Lies and Liars.
This is well done!👍thank you
Ditch the music. It's competing & distracting - not supportive like a pro would use music. Best to avoid it or turn it way low.
I always try and justify myself to the gaslighter. in my head I just cant believe they'd deny something so deliberately. They must just be mistaken, it gets me everytime. then I get shouted down and still try and explain what actually happened. you cant keep someone on topic who shouts
That is their strategy. It's better to not try to reason with an unreasonable person.
Stop engaging ENTIRELY. the narc will KEEP ON LAUGHING at you untill you LEAVE.
Thank you!
You’re welcome.
My husband counts everything I do and says and says that’s not what you said or I didn’t say that.and I get the silent treatment if I express how I feel or make any kind of comment that goes against his recollection.
The best way to stop gas Lighting is to start brake lighting, and fill up at a gas station...then the gas light goes off.
Love the concept of “brake lighting.”
I told a gas lighting friend to get lost today.
Good tips Thankyou - what if the gas lighter is my mum ?
Good question. Yes, parents can be gaslighters, too. My encouragement is to show compassion but learn to trust yourself. Having a therapist to help walk you through this is ideal.
You not alone my man gaslighted me through my job also my X boss now 😪💜
Abby...have you ever done a life timeline? It's pretty basic but harder than ppl think. Get a piece of white paper, turn to landscape and draw a line across the top. Leave room to jot down words. Starting at your age now on the right side, make a mark at 5 yr intervals down to 5 yrs old. Put a mark every yr after that to birth. So starting on the left it reads birth thru all your ages to now on the rt. Just stare at it for a few moments. Now, put it somewhere you're sure to stumble onto in a few days. What this does for the brain is what marinade does for meat! It's in there sort of knocking about bc ur brain KNOWS it's an unfinished task. Like trying to remember a name? Ya give up and like 3 days later it just seems to jump at you out of nowhere!
After you run into it...get quiet and look at each milestone and come up with your most vivid memories starting on the rt. As you get to younger yrs it will get more sporadic/less memories until u just cant go any further. Put it away again. Dont go back to it until your brain teases out a memory that isn't on there. Keep putting it away until it starts at least as young as 1-2 yrs old. This exercise, for me, exposed that without my immediate knowledge or even accessible memory, my oldest clear memory is my father came in from work. I was in a high chair...maybe just beginning to walk bc I had white striders on. My mom was "dolling up" like the wives used to...and something was smoking to my rt. My dad opens the oven, waves at the smoke then screams, YOU BURNED IT AGAIN!!! My mom comes rushing to aplogise... and he balled up his fist and knocked her out! She was OUT. And I remember him turning to me, still w his fists clenched...and he turned and walked over her to take a shower. He didnt even check to see if she was still alive. So now, I know what drove my mother to alcoholism. I know it's not WHO she was, or what she wanted. It was her only means to cope in an abusive situation w someone threatening to kill her and us if she ever left him. I found empathy for her. I vowed to NEVER allow abuse in my life. I forgave her for not being there to protect me because staying alive WAS the only way to protect me.
I never found peace about my mom until I found understanding and empathy. And it's this timeline exercise that helped! Try it!
This is amazing info!!!
Thanks!
Test for gaslighting: show them the evidence and instead of owning up they just double down on the lie.
The best way, do the opposite of what a gas lighter tells you, even if the force you
Calling someone stupid...
Doesn't make them intelligent...
Get in the habit of keeping a diary
Best thing to say if you’re being gaslighted-goodbye.
Is it still gaslighting when a person is unaware of doing that? (Projections)
Yes
Yes, but if they are unaware they will be receptible when you are explaining to them how their behaviour is damaging. They will have a will to improve. If it is intentional, they keep on twisting. My view on it..
My job is a whole gaslighting fest. I'm a teacher.
Not sure what you mean.
So how do we apply this to institutions in our societies? Not only people, but peoples are being gaslighted. Would love seing some about that too. :-)
I’ve been contemplating doing a video on this. Thanks for the suggestion.
Well thing I do was go get a mental health assessment said I'm not mental so next time they said I'm insane need to be commited mental hospital I pulled out the drs paper 😅😅😅
I know im not crazy belive me when i say that because i have ketp a close watch on myself by going to talk to professionals
Perfect
My family did this to me for personal gain. They are the most greedy selfish people I've ever seen in my life. Everything about me is a joke to them.
I’ve just told a builder scammer to stop waisting be time, this trades man has led me on for months.
I recognised the lying excuses and the gaslighting because I was going around and around in circles with this fella.
He fooled me brilliantly took moneys to buy the stock I’ve never seen it and he’s never done the job he was to do. 🤨
He is holding the stock ( if he bought it?) to randsome for more funds. 😖
I dislike this vile person for waisting months on my build .
This gaslighter is crazy 😜 he is nuts sends really positive messages pretending we are moving forward etc
But then gaslights it doesn’t occur… it’s so clever actually.
I stupidly let my husband talk me into buying my MOL's house and letting her live on the second level. I could fill a book with the way she's gaslighted me. When I talk about my hobbies (I make bath soap) she announces to everyone in the room that if she wants soap, she'll just go to the store and buy it. Every time I bring up something I've excelled at or done well she finds a way to crap all over it. Six years ago my husband's step dad passed away and she's still milking it for all the sympathy she can get. Four years ago, my mom died and then a year later, my only sibling died. Whenever I try and talk about how that made me feel, she immediately flips the conversation to her loss. She never tries to console me or tells me she feels bad for me--she always makes it about her. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Okay, you're the most bereaved! You get the trophy, you're the only person deserving to be consoled over their loss! When my 93 year old aunt died (I was very close to her) my MOL's response was, "Well, it's not like you weren't expecting it." A normal person would have tried to say something consoling. I don't know how you'd handled it and I don't know if therapy would change anything but I do know when the old witch dies, I'm going to her funeral in a red dress.
What about gangstalking since 19 years of age
Not really my area of expertise.
Wow!
And if the therapist has betrayed you then what ?
And what then to do
of the torment, the torture, the grief,
the regret, the guilt, the darkness, the rage,
the hopelessness, the hell,
the rape of my soul?
God has truly forsaken me.
I am no longer a believer.
He will never leave you or forsake you but humans will , he still loves you and believes in you , you can do it , don’t give up . I promise it will get better but it is going to take patience and love for yourself. Love you and go on to healing and never give up , you’ve got this and God is there and will repay ❤
Bro, I am not even sure what you mean “ your feeling matters “ even though it’s based only on emotions. My wife is mad at me because I could not find a gift for her birthday. What should I do ? Does it really matter ? I’ve been with you through thick and thin you’re mad at me for such a dumb event. I wanted to give her a great gift she would really appreciate but she’s so picky and hard to please. So what do I do ?
It’d be hard to answer those questions without visiting with you about the situation. Have you considered marriage counseling?
Every time I put my foot down I get threatened to move out. So over it
How does one discern if one is being gaslit by a therapist or other health professional when one is already unsure of the correctness of their intuition about that person. If you address it head on the professional in question feels threatened and turns it back on you.
For anyone who has had the courage to get therapy, it is important to understand that therapy only works if the client feels safe and protected.
If for some reason a client doesn’t feel safe with their therapist, then they should address the concern with the therapist. But if they don’t even feel safe doing that, then it might be time to find a new therapist.
I dunno. I’m a believer in talking about feelings, but if you keep twisting what I say in order to always be a victim, I’m unlikely to give a shit about you being upset about it.
I am working on an article identifying 12 typologies of gaslighting. “The Victim” is one of those twelve. So, stay tuned. I hope to have more content on it sooner than later.
30 yrs
Would this be similar to a narsasist?
Thanks🙏
I need help I had this so long I'm losing myself there winning n I'm in deep all ppl think iam what she says n I'm crazy nothing I recall is accurate ever my feeling are never listened to let alone matter I'm losi g the ability to put it in context what do I do
A good resource is www.IITAP.com
Good info, but that music is so distracting and unnecessary
so right
Dont talk to them again . End of
Can I be gaslighting myself?
You know….that is a really good question. I know we can lie to ourselves, but not so sure if we can gaslight ourselves. I’ll have to think more on it, but my inclination is to say “no, gaslighting is something done TO US not something we do to OURSELVES.” But, I need to think on it more. Thanks for the questions.
We could all save a lot of money in therapy.
My BF is a gaslighter.... there have been several specific situations where he has said certain items of property were in fact his, when they were mine or that I acquired. The first time this happened was over a pizza pan I had bought since we had been together to replace an old one he had. He insisted HE bought the pizza pan and gave some specificish statement about this.. but I KNEW I had bought it and remembered. So my question.. on that.. was do Gaslighters KNOW they are gaslighting? Or are they remembering things differently? Also. I had a wall hanging in our bedroom (we now sleep in separate bedrooms due to our schedules and sleep patterns) I told him I wanted the wall hanging in my room. He was like that was his.. and I was like no.. no it isnt. We fought anf fought about this.. but I had a friend who had specifically given this to me (and they actually worked with Gujarat material and wallhangings) and I even remember where it was in my old house and i had a photo (that for a time I couldn't get my hands on ).. He said HE sold these and this was HIS blah blah blah.. He ended up giving it back to me and about 6 months or so ago I finally came across the photo of it in my old house.. and showed him. BUT These situations are exhausting and honestly DO make me feel crazy and scared... scared that he is remembering so much stuff differently... THe pizza pan thing freaked me out on many levels.. ugh..
and I knew I had acquired the Pan because he is not the one that ever goes to stores to buy items like this.. EVER.. I am the shopper in our relationship
@@caeligood6607 run.
So now I have to go find a job x( any at home jobs with flexible hours I can do?
Gashlighting can be also projection, right?
Gaslighting is ALL OF THE ABOVE! They will question you to death and once drained of energy, they'll say things like, "I'm really worried about you." Or "you haven't seemed normal lately...everyone sees it."
The trick us to get YOU questioning your own sanity! Its surprisingly easy to do if you know someone well enough. Especially if their behavior isolates you bc no one wants to deal with THEM! I should have removed my room mate when he put up cameras. One outside and one in his room. I thought that was sketchy but whatever! Later, he starts saying verbatim things I said when he wasnt even in the state. That's how I found out it audio tapes to. He never told me that part. So he got a word here or there...then would use it to control me. I had a nasty fall and my knee was BAD. By the 3rd night I made a comment that if I couldn't sleep that night I was gonna take a few of my sisters tramadol. He construe that into threatening me with the cops! Its not worth it. I would live in a tent, alone and content rather than this bs. Stay snarky! Dont let WORDS be put in ur mouth and get clear if the perp asap.
Fuck yes