How to Fix C-PTSD Caused by High Demand Religions ft. Therapist Logan Cohen
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- Listen to find out: what constitutes religious abuse, how to spot and heal small t trauma which can be cPTSD, how to break destructive programmed behavior and redefine your trauma responses. This episode is FULL of tips and tricks from licensed therapist Logan Cohen, so make sure to listen to the end and let us know if it was helpful.
About Logan:
Practicing Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), an Approved Supervisor with American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT, and a level 2 Clinical Certified Trauma Professional. Over the last 20 years in the field, he has dedicated his life’s work to supporting community members who are seeking to improve their own health, happiness, and quality of life - even when healing from unresolved trauma and growing through painful transitions. As a practicing therapist, author & influencer, he shares these natural solutions with as many people as possible in order to help them do the same.
Find Logan on Social Media
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Websites:
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Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara
*Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*
I grew up as a JW and my home life was awful domestic violence (I still have the emotional scars from it) and because I was a JW in a small town full of hillbillies, the violence both physical / mental was constant. I never knew any peace / love growing up - just constant fear. I was a poster boy for these kinds of issues. I was lucky I managed to get a EE Degree and was able to leave and never go back. I'm 61 and have never been back where I grew up and didn't make any true friends. Of course JW's ruined my family and I never meet my siblings children / wives etc. Haven't talked to my mother in 30 years. I wish I had a video like this when I was 20. It wasn't until after a failed marriage in my early 40's and time to reflect on it did I start to break free from the depression. In my late 40's was when I was able to really live a normal life. The "hurt my feelings" really rings true for me. Now when I get those triggers I can't believe it hurt me so deeply now. I ruined every relationship I ever had. For me it sounds weird but when I found Calculus and Electronics my life changed forever. My first rebellion was going to college since JW's are against higher education. I was physically out / mentally in when I started my professional career and went back but ended up leaving again (but still physically out / mentally in) but when I researched the child abuse and how deep it really went I was finally physically out / mentally out. It's sad other religious have cause this kind of damage. Thanks for the video.
Hi Jeffrey, thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm happy this video could help in some small way. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to your struggles.
Hello Jeffrey 😁 I'm same age 7th generation Mormon... I feel your pain my brother. I "left" at 16 (after my 1st marriage of course 🤣😂) I finally got away from toxic relationship 5 yrs ago to this day I don't trust anyone who breathes 😢 but I'll get better I know I will 😁
@@skyjust828 You will notice that the longer you are away from the toxic the better your mental health will become and you will calm and start to enjoy the little things. Stay away from things / people that trigger the PTSD the best you can. I laugh now when I get triggered since it doesn't bother me much anymore but in the past I would go into deep depression, remember depression is rage turned inward. I have a care free / drama free life now and it is wonderful.
Grew up fundamental Baptist with similar results.
"What they call faith which is blind trust." Thank you for saying this Logan. The more I hear others say this, the more affirmed I feel.
Oh my goodness... Your pup behind you rolling around and messing up the couch! 🤣
Just gotta say, nice bit of fluffy comedic relief in the background during the serious conversation.
haha yeah he was being a naughty weiner! hahah love him so much though. He was annoyed when I wasn't paying attention to him, when normally, all day he just lays quietly on the couch lol
Very helpful video, thank you!!
I was cracking up with your dog messing up the pillows on the bed 😅😊
Such a naughty Weene! Hahah I was dying when I heard him wreaking havoc on my set 🫠 literally the most calm dog EVER and this is when he decides to get rowdy lol. Thanks for watching!
That wheel is such an important tool to understanding manipulative, toxic people. My sister is would use her kids or our parents as a way to try to emotionally hurt me. Being able to see it really helped me step outside of the cycle and take better care of myself.
To anyone who is in a toxic relationship, no matter who the other person is, please please remember that you do not owe anyone anything. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe.
When you understand these truths and infiltrate them in your mind you will have almost immediate comfort. Acceptance of yourself and your experience no matter what others think.
I am a child of an alcoholic. So I have punch of trauma with feeling unsafe and abandoned. My partner has different trauma background, but we both tend to be scared of conflict. We have turned that to our strenght. From early on in our relationship we started to discuss any "what if situation" we could come up with. So, we have systematically built good ground for trust. He is not gonna abandon me, I am not gonna abandon him.
-What if otherone has crush on somebody else? That's ok, that's normal. It will faid away. We agreed that no need to inform partner immediately, but at some point when otherone is ready.
-What is cheating in our relationship? Actually, after 4.5 years together, still we don't have strict rules for each other...however, we have rules for ourselves. In our situation no need for strict rules as otherone would let otherone to go further than they are confortable. We valua independence and trust. As well as don't want to hurt otherone by our action.
-We both are monoamorous, but somewhat open to idea of polyamory if that would ever happen. It is not totally confortable idea, but it is not "hard no". I, as an introvert, cannot see me having more than 1 partner, but my partner could have also other partner as long as our relationship does not suffer. Actually, at one point as single, I was very open to idea of being secondary partner as I need a lot of alone time. He has his own reasons, why he would not want other partner.
-We have openly discussed on our non-existing desire to have kids. But if our minds would start to change, we can discuss that. And when our desire is even less there, we again discuss that.
-We have talked a lot about our default trauma responses etc.
We don't really fight. We don't need to. We always try to feel our feelings and explain them to other one. Even when we feel hurt, we would never want to hurt other one. We don't expect knowing how other one wants to deal with their feelings that time. Do you want to hug or be alone? Is there anything I can do for you? That kind of questions are common when other one is dealing with some "negative" feelings. Whether or not they are related to other person or their actions. Mutual respect and love is so, so high. In this relationship, I have healed a lot from my past traumas. And so has he.
My friend Chris was in the Sea Org in Scientology for like 20 years and said his mom did the exact correct thing. Never told him he was wrong or that Scientology was bullshit but was always there for him when he was struggling and when he finally did need out, she was there for him no questions asked.
1:34 the dog is disassembling the pillows as we disassemble religious teachings 😂
Haha glad you approve. Oscar was on a mission that day. Sleeping sound right up until we hit record
My husband and I are both survivors of high demand religions. We found each other and at first our old habits were looming large! But we fought through it (literally at times!) and we are now married for a year and a half and I see so much growth - especially in my husband (harder to see in myself!) Lately it's been SO PEACEFUL. I LITERALLY never thought marriage could be so harmonious! What a huge difference!
Your dog is so cute! I enjoyed watching him/her turn your pillows over!
Haha he’s a little rascal sometimes
Wow, absolutely fantastic video guys!!! Incredible insight from the both of you!!!! Viewers will greatly benefit.
Ps- Props off to your entire channel, Shelise. You are a true inspiration!!! 👏👏 💕💕
Aww thank you so much Stephanie! Made my day!🥰
@Cults to Consciousness Aw, you just made my day!
Hi Logan, I’m you new subscriber. Knowledge is power. I grew up in a very similar family to yours. I’ve had CPTSD since I can remember. We had a lot of DV at home. I joined Mormonism in 1999, developed religiosity. Left the church in 2020 after a couple months of the corona virus locked down church meetings.
Thank you for shedding light on these issues! I am learning so much. Also, your dog, he is adorable!
Thank you, Jane! I’ll tell Oscar he gained a new fan 😁
I went to PSU in PDX. My poetry teacher for my English and Publishing degree also taught Poetry at Lewis and Clark while she was getting her PhD. Small world.
I will watch again to glean the messages❤
Main discussion starts at 26:23 👍
Flower essences work so well!
I wanted to thank you for this content and to thank your guest for bringing both his experiences and education. It can be so challenging for people in poverty especially to find therapists that aren't trying dismiss our experiences.
I see your Mini Doxi in the background having a ball!!!🥰🥰🥰
1:24 😂😂😂 your dog in the background, fighting with your couch! 😂😂
He was being such a naughty weiner lol
@@CultstoConsciousness my dog chewed through the tubular steel bar on her kennel last month. I didn’t even know that was possible. It’s insane! These puppers are something else!
Thanks again for another fantastic video! Knowledge is power ❤
As a csa victim I can relate to so much of this.
Paris Hilton has a lot to say about those wilderness therapy programs
The good ol' power and control wheel! Very good application of it too. IPV counseling introduced me to it and it's such a good tool!
It makes sense now why I frequently had the urge to say things that could easily start drama, especially when I first met the person or first interacted with them one-on-one. I remember as a youth telling a prominent church member that my desire to write creatively was "like a demon inside me". Which was a bad plan! But I found out later that most people just thought I was a little weird. Now that I'm out of abusive situations, the more I deal with my trauma the less I get the urge to do this. I don't know how much stock I put in IQ anymore, but I tested high when I had it done as a kid and am generally considered to be intelligent. So that tracks. It's nice to be in the "common" bucket when it happens!
Sir, your point about not rescuing the other person's position is ON POINT! Especially for women/AFABs who are leaving or have left high control religions. We're taught that we're responsible for the emotion management of pretty much everyone. Learning to not Rescue people is huge. Especially because it's good practice for not Fawning genuine threats.
I forgot you were going to do a shout out! I was a little shocked to hear my name. Lol. But, it did make me smile 🙂. Really enjoyed Logan's insights and expertise. Definitely going to get his book!
You've been my biggest supporter and I really appreciate it! Just purchased a bunch of equipment today, so your contributions have been greatly appreciated! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
@@CultstoConsciousness I just really love your content and want to keep it coming! I need to be better about sharing your channel on socials, tho! Lol. Keep up the great work. You are a amazing! 👏🏻👏🏻
Loved this content, so relevant. Love your channel, you're so sweet and professional.
Thank you so much!! I appreciate that! 🙏
During the intro the doggie in the background totally stole the show ❤❤❤
Haha he did! Naughty little weiner 😂
Saw this too! I may have rewatched the part where he started snuggling into the pillows!
omg. the timing on this is just! insane!
❤️
10:05 I am so thankful to be where I am. I grew up to parents who were forcefed religion and they struggled as adults which lead to me being an atheist as a child/adolescent.
I now am a Hebraic believer and I attend a non-denominational congregation that has Pentecostal undertones but is NOT affiliated with any denomination. - they encourage us to study and think critically and look at where science and belief overlap,.. and also where they don’t and discuss both sides. We are challenged to come up with questions that make the leaders have to go look for an answer and we are challenged to find the answers, too. If our answers differ from the leaders, they listen and discuss and teach and even learn; I’ve been able to show leaders, where, in scripture, their understanding may not be accurate and they have changed their stance. I know that is a rarity in organized religion but I have sought for years to find it and am glad I finally have.
Atheism is so much more freeing and peaceful
Belief in GODS us delusional
Wow, would love to get a copy of the Power & Control Wheel!!
I have so much pain inside, inflicted over the course of my whole life. I can't even begin to face it and feel it because I'd probably lose my shit.
So sorry to hear that. I hope you can find someone to help guide you through it, if you should so choose to explore
I was heavily involved in a group that claim to have a bible flowing oil. This gave me hope. False teaching and Prophecy is so painful and wicked.
2:36 For a little while it looked like you had a pillow-pet 😂😂😂 it looked like the pillow was moving on its own! 😂
Haha that little weiner was being naughty
Absolutely, I am diagnosed
I grew up in a religious narcissistic family cult
I am one minute in and the dog is cracking me up messing up the pillows like that 😂
He’s such a rascal haha normally he lays quietly on my lap. Not this time
Did I skip over the link where I can access Logan's control and power circle?
Just found out I have cptsd a year ago from mormon youth masturbation interviews, the expectation to go on a mission etc
Hello. This was a great episode. Did Logan provide the link for the Power and Control Wheel he referenced in the discussion?
Where can I get this pdf
I backslid, failed to come back to Christ, was told I had only one more chance to get my heart right with God. I tried and failed. A pending nervous breakdown, death and hell awaits me.
My name is Calvin . On my wife's account.
Death and hell does not await you. Christ has finished the work ! You have nothing to fear. You are justified by faith apart from some religious dogma crammed down your throat. It's one thing to be sad or feel bad for messing up , but Christ Jesus isn't like the religious pharisees . That's what the reformation in the 1500 s was all about. A dogmatic religion of works that one never could reach any kind of peace.
So what you stayed, we all do everyday. But nothing can snatch you out of Gods hands period, nothing! Doesn't matter what you have done or not done. Jesus finished the work of your salvation , justification and sanctification. No one is righteous not one not even those people that condemn you to hell . Just turn to people like that and tell them Jesus himself justified you and walk away. Truth is we can never run or flee from God anyway . So live at peace knowing your account has been settled and all the debt has been paid in full , past present and future.
Nobody wants to listen to someone popping off the handle.. No, it's worse, most "religious" people will try to make you angry if they don't like what you're saying, then they "don't have to listen to you, you seem awfully angry about nothing at all; maybe you should get anger management....."
What Does the C stand for in C-PTSD?
Complex
Because you're talking to this guy right now. What do I turn to now that I don't have that power outside of myself I've been sober 13 years and they're always talking about higher power /God. I use the group of drunks ,and good orderly directions. I've always since I've been in AA have needed a message with skin on it. God has never been audible of course not. Because I don't believe in that anymore. I need help. Our literature says no human power could relieve our alcoholism. it doesn't say no human powers. So I think I am going to have to go with that for now.
I'm having the most fun watching the cute dog
He’s a little stinker lol
Im in a small town where its not that safe for me, also when I try to do my own thing, on line or just have a conversation with people who arnt that "dangerous" to me my trama creeps in and I can't shut it off, making me more isolated and paranoid about myself, if im toxic, if im driving everyone away, i don't know who talk to or to not have my trama pop up out of nowhere.....my therapist that can accept my government help arnt very good and i don't really vive/trust them.....i cant make this trama spirle stop, any tips/tricks to help me out till i can get proper help? Thanks!
As muslim defintly religion cause ptsd and trauma.
Love
❤
lets talk about being muslim
The "wheel of abuse" part sounds like trying to live as part of capitalism. Free your mind so your ass can follow ( Platoon).
If you can’t have “raw blood”, is rare meat and sushi off the table?
SUCH A GREAT QUESTION! I think you meant to ask it on the Jehovah's witness video, right?
I was raised a JW. Yes, they eat meat. That's why it's such a hypocritical religion. They just don't do blood transfusions.
Where do you find these "meet up groups?
I think you can find people on reddit or facebook groups. or find podcasts and see if they have a community
😩 p♥r♥o♥m♥o♥s♥m
You lost me at “as a white male”, “cis gendered man”, and “marginalized”. Self white hate is still white hate.
Hey have you checked out: ZelphOntheShelf
I have! I’ve met them a couple times during my time with the Mormons on Mushrooms podcast. They are great