Satisficing: Rejection of Life by Narcissists, Borderlines, and Psychopaths
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- My academic credentials (only in psychology):
www.narcissisti...
My resume (bio, curriculum vitae) with link to LOC listing of my doctoral dissertation:
www.narcissisti...
Satisficing is when you prefer the just acceptable and minimally satisfactory to the optimal or maximal possible outcomes.
The principle, discovered by the Nobel prize winning economist and management theorist, Herbert Simon, helps guide decision-making and is a cognitive heuristic (rule of thumb) within bounded rationality.
Psychologically, satisficers have a low self-esteem. This leads them to believe that they can do no better. They have a perceived lack of options (underchoice, choice underload, to paraphrase Alvin Toffler) and an external locus of control (limited agency and personal autonomy: "my life is determined from the outside and by others who are often envious of me and even malicious").
Ironically, satisficers feel entitled to accomplishments and beneficial outcomes that are incommensurate with their indolence (Path of Least Resistance). They are not self-efficacious and they lack ambition, but disguise it with pseudohumility, sanctimony, and virtue signalling.
Satisficers perceive social reality and their internal psychodynamics as largely random, arbitrary, and meaningless (Cleckley's "rejection of life" or Peterson's anti-humanity). Consequently they lack commitment (commitmentphobes), or cathexis (emotional investment).
They never plan for the future and such little planning as they do is goal-oriented (short-termism). They maintain inordinately low standards and values which are expediently reversed, compromised or abandoned altogether. Identity diffusion or disturbance is common.
Satisficers are subject to magical thinking (I think therefore it is), magical immunity (my actions or inaction have no real-life consequences) as part of a larger suite of essentially psychopathic traits: impulsivity, defiance, recklessness, and novelty, thrill, or risk seeking (adrenaline junkie).
Mental illness such as depression, anxiety, mood, and personality disorders are common among satisficers. But, strangely, slackers and satisficers are also more content than other personality types with the outcomes of the decisions they have made.
The Narcissistic Satisficer’s Credo
I am a child tyrant emperor: infantile, petulant, moody, divine, and delusional.
I am a Wunderkind: a boastful genius.
I want just to play. Nothing else. To have fun. That's all (shared fantasy). I renounce reality and truth.
My game is: you are my vastly inferior slaves and disciples.
You must accept me as I am. You are expected to fully forgive and love me unconditionally, regardless of my conduct or misconduct, even when I inevitably hurt you badly time and again.
I am immutable, opinionated, obstinate, grandiose, labile, dysregulated, and depressive. You should not try to change or fix me or to bargain with me: you are not my equals.
You can play only with me, unless I let you play with others (when you are no longer my playmates, just my servants).
I am entitled to take anything I want from you. I can do to you and with you anything I wish. You have no right to protest, decline, or resist my demands. You are my property, my chattel to dispose of and do with as I please.
You must obey my wishes unthinkingly and promptly, never disagree with me, and even please me with your agony.
You have no right to expect or demand anything from me. If I give you anything, it is because I choose to. I give only what I decide to give, usually only as little of my time, attention, knowledge, and money as absolutely necessary to keep you hooked and around as my playmates.
Only I decide which game we play, based on how capriciously bored or thrilled I am at any given period.
If you are not fit to play my game, I lose all interest in you.
If you refuse to play my game exactly how and when I want it, or if you make any demands whatsoever, I walk away and look for a new playmate.
Simple, really. And it works! I have had no reason to regret any of it over the decades of my life. Compared to the overwhelming vast majority of humanity, I am in a good place and have spent the time allotted to me on this Earth precisely as I had wanted to: my way.
Buy most of my books in Amazon www.amazon.com...
See the description of this video for relevant links.
Here is the Library of Congress listing of my doctoral dissertation/thesis:
catalog.loc.gov/vwebv/search?searchCode=LCCN&searchArg=85133690&searchType=1&permalink=y
My academic credentials (only in psychology):
www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html
My resume (bio, curriculum vitae) with links:
www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html
Prof. Sam, you don't have to reel off your credentials. It's very clear, when listening to you, that you are a very learned man 🇬🇧xx
He is a narcissist so yes he needs to do that.
it's also appropriate to attempt to ensure a new listener has some basic information regarding the presenter. And he's worked hard for his credentials, I've known unremarkable individuals to insist on introducing themselves with a name followed immediately by their occupation. and that's considered appropriate by many. I feel the professor throwing out a few examples of his ability and interest would be fine in the light of everyone else I meet feeling compelled to express their identity as some aspect of what they are paid to do during the day, which has never helped me much in any situation as tony the law doctor of plumbing could be terrible at everything. I can assume the professor can at least write a book of information that others considered valuable enough to purchase for a greater span of time than many online businesses have existed.
Mr Vaknin..Don't waste your time being de-railed by clownish antics, you don't need to prove yourself.
Your videos speak for itself ..even if you had absolutely no qualifications and just went by life experiences, "like most tubers"..you would still be intellectually entertaining and highly educational.
Thank you for your content.
People have the right to ask for my qualifications and credentials - and I have the corresponding obligation to respond to these legitimate queries.
So true !I wish i could listen all these earlier ! 20 years married to one of those !Now i am by my own since the last 5 years ! No matter what those years are gone !
So satisficers are suffering from learned helplessness. I can certainly relate to that, having been raised in a gulag by two malignant narcissists,
Have to admit I'm a satisficer. Worked very hard the past few years to get past it, adopting healthier behaviours with self and others, while cutting out enabling factors.
It's actually working out pretty well, just gotta get over the years of missed employment, making that commitment on a 4 year course to start again, even at 34.
No point giving up and accepting a barely tenable situation...that would be satisficing!
Recovery is possible, it's just a mammoth task.
@@sigridurlennartsdottir4416 Well, I guess having the intention and awareness to get out of the situation is a great start :)
I put a lot of time into committing to helpful progression. I did things that are worthy of anyone throughout the day, whether that be working on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
I did big projects looking at where I need to grieve over distorted and repressed feelings. Ask yourself "What am I unwilling to feel?" and go with it. If it's not painful it's unlikely to be progress as a satisficer, otherwise it is still accepting the barely acceptable situation.
Real strong self-compassion helps. Use your growth as a way to push for more growth rather than rest on feeling just alright about things.
It's hard work, takes a long time, but I don't believe it is hopeless for us. Counterintuitive understandings can be helpful, for example, can our weaknesses become our strengths? I wasted my 20s, so I use it as fuel to succeed and then show others through experience and hard work that they can also come back from the brink.
You will find your own ways that work best for you. Whatever hours you can put to any kind of balanced productivity in a sought direction can at least yield better results than settling with mediocrity.
You can totally do it!! Who needs good luck when you can go kick butt!
Same, had allways the feeling that I don't diserve more than the bare minimum.
Even to want the bare minimum to survive was not allowed by me father.
F.... up upbringing - no confidrnce - really thought that I can do not better and I can't have a better life.
Healing is a long jurny - now I'm better - bat still strugling.
It's a fight - bat it's worth it - the price is me - and a better life.
Don't give up - I'm 45 now - started to heal 3 years ago - C-PTSD is a hard thing to undo. I'm better now - no more put up with abuse.
Those last few minutes were both chilling and disturbing.
Indeed. However so narcissically honest. The thing is, the narcissist is not honest and somehow expects their partner to adhere even though they knowingly have misrepresented themselves. Get out, stay out and implement no contact. Education is the only way to stop these predictors in their tracks. So thank you Sam for your words of wisdom. Unfortunately most who find your videos have already been victimized. This information should be part of the education coriculum for all high schools and/or collededges. Knowledge is power, protection and prevention.
I'm going through a massive mental collapse and Vaknins jokes are the only thing that makes me laugh sometimes 😅
Interesting. I have just finished a class on Behavioural Economics and here you are talking about BE. The Biases are so on point.
ruclips.net/video/QfUBnDPnzy8/видео.html
@@samvaknin , Wow. Thanks for the link
Industrial economic competitive society. It takes expensive institutions and good mentors to be successful in it. Otherwise you are trapped with low pay no family and lack of resources. No upward mobility and a feeling of a lack of purpose. Working hard(not lazy) as a cog in the machine keeping the bill collectors and the eviction notice away.
This is a compelling description of mass pathology. Is there anything concrete we, at a social level, can do to improve the situation? If we created and disseminated improved parenting instructions and incorporated psychological improvement into the education system, would it stand a chance against the social forces that encourage this childishness? I'd be interested if anyone can point me to any concrete prescriptions Sam has made at the large scale, or if he has expressed disinterest or doesn't think it's effective?
This is why I had Googled Prof Vaknin when I stumbled across his channel. Who is he? Where did he matriculate? What has he done? Thus satisfied, I continued to listen to his lectures.
Satisficing sounds close to vulnerable narcissism
I swear to God I not only learn from you but you crack me up! LOL "ordevuah" with a wave goodbye & glasses in hand!😆(and no smiling, just THEE END) aloha🌺 from kona, Hawaii... mahalo
It's also my way or the highway too, and not just door but also the windows are over there.
Wow. The definition of satisficing explains alot about the decisions that i have made in my life. Like, why did i go for that douchebag when i KNOW that i am far more classier than that!
🎯
Dr Vaknin, as you mentioned people born after 1995, do you think that this is also the reason of higher suicide rate among them?
The rise in suicides (especially among females) has been linked to the extent of use of social media and screen time. No other factor was found to be statistically significant. See studies by Twenge, Campbell, Wade, Zimbardo, and others.
Sam, is there a connection between narcissism and Nietzsche’s master morality?
samvak.tripod.com/superman.html
Sam Vaknin thanks Sam. I’m going to check that out.
Thanks Sam appreciate it! you put things in order so I can see the world more clearly, although things become blurry again over time, I’m surprised how evil has taken a foothold in everyday life, so many people play along, just in a malaise
Very interesting, Professor, thank you !!
Question : I have CTPSD and I am a satisficer. Can it be treated in therapy?
"I've just insulted numerous cows" lololol
Lebowski is indeed a fantastic movie!! Thanks for the video
Dr. Vaknin your video about Donald Trump being a Narcissist was right on. Can you make another video on how he would leave the president office. Thanks again
You have to be a narcissist to even aspire to that job. At least hes not a phony like his predecessor. That's what is deplorables admire about him. His ability to stand for what's right has earned him the hatred of the right people.
How do you think blockchain will change cognitive map of humanity?
I have videos about blockchain technologies, including cryptocurrencies, here: ruclips.net/user/vakninmusings
@@samvaknin which video you talk about bitcoin?
@@angeliquedemeijere5980 The one that has bitcoin (cryptocurrencies) in the title. Any other idiotic questions?
@@samvaknin hmm maybe since I did not find it! 😂
yogi's......LOL....thank you