But I'm Not Ready To Be Pregnant
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
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James, next time, be sure to say it is also called the "Egyptian Flu"... As in she's gonna be a "Mummy".
😂😂😂😂😂 I have never heard that before. Perfect 👍 👍
Fantastic🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
Although some argue that puns are the lowest form of humor, this has to be one of the best. 👍🏻
thanks going to use this on my pregnant wife
He called into work because SHE was sick. He'll make a good father abet one that will need a lot of help. Good thing he's got you for a boss.
Location. Location. Location.
I honestly want to upvote this twice. The lengths that James goes to for his employees just never ceases to amaze me. But I'm also almost crying with laughter right now. 🤣
Same 😂😂😂😂
But I often wander if some of this is made up just for clicks.....
Probably not, From NC and outside the city there are a lot of youngling that need some guidance. I am going to a wedding in march and the invitations were printed last week. So ...@@51-FS
100% with you on this
@@danebrammage4330 yea but there are people that exist that have no idea how their body works
My wife and I had been married for 12½ years, she was on birth control, and I was three weeks away from an appointment with the urologist.
Something weird starts happening with her boobs, so we go to the doctor expecting to hear something along the lines of "breast cancer". The nurse has her take a pee test. The stick tells us the same thing it told your employee. We both had a similar reaction... absolute denial. The nurse says "oh yeah... it's positive. Like... INSTANTLY positive."
I'm literally sliding down the wall with my vision tunneling out.
See... as a teenager (and VERY recently my betrothed), she had been broadsided by a pickup doing 35mph on her mountain bike. The injuries were serious, life-changing, and permanent. Some of those injuries made pregnancy extremely hazardous to her health.
Two days later the ObGyn tells us she's 24 WEEKS ALONG! ALMOST 6 MONTHS!!! That same ObGyn listens to us, does the exams and checks, and confirms our fears of a high-risk pregnancy. 7 weeks later he sees the problems starting and puts her in the hospital. 25 hours later my 3lb 2oz, 16 inch long baby girl is born by emergency C-section at 31 weeks.
She's almost 12 years old now, sitting out in the living room with her mother, laughing together at something they're watching. She is the light of this Daddy's life, and I love absolutely everything about being her father. We know there's likely to be some difficulties ahead in the next few years, but so far we're weathering the pre-teen changes okay.
I'd enjoy hearing how they do once the sleepless nights start. More than once I just put in some earplugs and walked kiddo up and down the hall untill she finally quit crying and went to sleep, then slept on the couch with her so she didn't wake up Mom.
Alcohol, St John's wort, tobacco, diminish effectiveness of birth control.
When you use the first "stick" without protection, the second "stick" will confirm the use of the first "stick"! 😂
😏
😂😂
🤦♂️😂
You may show yourself to the door now! 😕
I used to work with a girl (@ 20 yrs old, secretly married) who couldn't understand how she got pregnant. She tells me they "do it" 3 times a day. I asked if she using any protection. She gets this horrified look on her face and say "I can't I'm catholic!" I was dumbstruck. I shook my head & said "congratulations" and walked away trying not bust out laughing.
My Catholic father-in-law only had 3 kids. As he used to say, "I'm Catholic, not stupid."
Even I know catholics that use protection😂
Aww, what a sweet girl. Catholic teaching says birth control is sinful. Sex without the possibility of procreation inevitably leads society wide sexual perversion. *points at pup play generals and Rachel Levine*
well at least she was married so it wasn't sin 😂
Wow- her faith kept her ignorant of birth control.
I saw the handwriting on the wall where this story was headed whenever James said girlfriend is sick in the morning. But I do have a question? How in the hell does a grown-ass man get to that point in his life and not immediately put 2+2 together and come up with baby as the correct answer?
We're doomed aren't we?
Probably, but at least we get to laugh until doom arrives!
How did she not realize it! Also it’s called morning sickness but you can absolutely have it all day! I didn’t start getting sick till my second trimester and it lasted all day
My ex never had morning sickness with any of her pregnancies. Our daughter was a month early and used her mother as a waterslide. Our son was two weeks late and refused to leave... The Dr had to break her water and got treated to a tsunami to the face.
Anyway, if the guy was real young and skipped biology and/or sex ed he probably wouldnt know jack.
Same here as soon as he said sick only in the morning it brought back memories, buddy your life is about to change.
@@maryjane4432 Denial is a powerful drug. Took slamming into the truth wall of two tests to force her mind to admit it being true.
"My work here is done." Masterclass!
James, the masterclassman and soon to be godfather 😮😊😅
Awesome, people really need to be taught real biology stuff in school
It's funny because it's religion that prevents that from happening.
Current political ideology keeps us ignorant . Wake up.
They are too busy teaching LGBT and that boys can actually be boys. In fact young people can not tell you what a woman is.
Too busy teaching. LGBT.
.
Second reply, original response censored by youtube.
@@HistoryGe3knah man. Your looking 180 degrees in the wrong direction. Most people close to the lgbtq are quite well sexually educated. The ones who most often oppose such education are traditional christians and similarly minded
And proof that James is the best storyteller out there. He just has so many ways to tell stories and he loves to make our days a little bit brighter.
THIS story was absolutely worth the drive you had to take down & back to get it. Thanks for sharing this what a great storyteller you are.
Wow, the parents of that guy never taught him shxt. 😂😂 . You are a kick ass boss
Thank you so so much I needed a good laugh that reminds me of two former local who came to look at the lambs with their children with a lot of stuttering coming out about how when a daddy sheep loves a mummy sheep they have a baby lamb.
That was when the son of one unfortunately not named Johnny turned to his mum who was carry his 7 month old baby sister and said prompting the follow conversation, "So the daddy sheep doesn't go to the toilet in the mummy sheep like you and daddy?"
"Daddy didn't go to the toilet in me!"
"But daddy put his willy in your bottom and then you said I was going to be a big brother."
"I... He didn't put his... He didnt put anything into my bottom or go to the toilet!"
"But there isn't anywhere else he could put it and he made the same gruns and moan as when he is on the toilet."
Apparently they were too busy loving one another to realise he had woken up nor did they close their door.
... congrats, uncle James !!!
Great story! I have a philosophy, never sleep with someone unless you are ok with raising a child with them.
You'd think it was rocket science or brain surgery the way these youngsters act
My rule and what I tell all my younger relatives. If you aren't happy making a baby with (x), don;t have sex with them. Easy!
I should have followed that rule, it would have saved me a lot of grief.
If little Jimmy isn't already a daddy he should be one. Because he's great at it. And so is that employee looking after his baby momma like that. Congrats Mummy and Daddy.
This is a brilliant demonstration of why getting rid of sex-ed in schools is STUPID.
“Delete fee” just killed me..🤣😂 and “parasite” brought me back.
"It ain't the tacos you ate..." No, honey, it was the hotdog. /sees myself out... 😅
This is why sex education needs to be COMPULSORY and with absolutely no exemptions.
Certain current political ideology, faith based.
Yes !
They gotta both read and comprehend first 😳😳👏😳😳
Our politicians can't balance a budget - what you want to bet 99% of our "HS graduates" can't either? They buy LOTTERY TICKETS for crying out loud - and ANYONE can google 'odds of winning the lottery' - Sex Education COMPULSORY? Yeah, we had less dead babies from abortions, before this was mandated in government skool.
Bro, they're telling kids dudes can get pregnant and calling it science. We are way past relying on the educational system.
"This is a pregnancy test. 2 bars means congrats. If you forget, refer to instructions. Have a nice life."
It seems some of Mr Butler’s employees were woefully under-parented in their childhood. They’re lucky to have the boss they have.
😂😂😂 Absolutely perfect delivery. I love it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and wager that their sex education was "abstinence only." Glad it worked out.
Yes they are happy and excited :)
Abstinence works 100% of the time
Abstinence only works as long as you're abstinent.
Occasionally somebody's "special". Heard a story from a Mennonite about a young couple that the ministers had to very delicately explain biology to. They apparently heard the no sex part of the lecture, but missed the outside of marriage part.
I was of the reaction that I disn't think that part didn't need to be taught, and apparently generally even Mennonites don't have a problem that way. Just an exceptionally clueless couple.
Sheesh, I knew what happened between a man and a woman when I was a little kid from watching animals. I just didn't know there was more to it than procreation until later.
They were trying to go up the river denial without a paddle 😂
Denial isn't just a river in Africa
@@13donstalos 🤣
@@13donstalos Or ... "Da Nile"
I love your attempt at krusty the clown laughing James 😆🤣👍
"A parasite that happens to be the same species as you"!
Best line of the whole vid.
😅😅😅😅
If he's that clueless, he needs to get a paternity test
Paternity DNA testing should be mandatory and covered by the public purse
Sincerely, they both sound young & dumb. Poor education will do that to people.
Either that or an IQ test.
@@mandolinman2006 yeh there's a reason she was crying....
Trust your guts boys
There is a reason he is driving a septic truck, and it’s not because he is a genius!!
Oh James.. I'm pissin' myself laughing! Great way to start my day.. thx!
Dr. House called it a parasite
Sarcastically
It is one. By definition anyway
This man is gods gift to humor. Thank you.
thank you sir, you made me smile a mile wide. oh, fond memories.😂
😂😂😂😂 best stories ever. I’m glad your to the point with people. Common sense is becoming a rare thing these days. Keep up the great work.
This paternal anecdote of yours is very comforting to hear.
My father isn't particularly nurturing, has always been a tough guy, and fails in terms of emotional regulation most days of the week - however there have been times he's displayed a similar wisdom and patience which always endears the memory as being one of warmth. I'll have to drop off something nice for him to take to lunch today thanks to you, haha. Your life lessons are so enriching!
James... most of your stories a very informative & we learn stuff but some of your stories are down-right funny and this one had me rolling. TANX for sharing you made my morning
Waiting to go in to triple hernia surgery this morning and absolutely needed this good laugh this morning
I hope everything goes well!!!!
Don't laugh too hard
Hope it went well for you!
Tweet the deets... How did it go?
Great story! Perfectly delivered!! LMAO!
Plenty of overtime 8n his future😆
Just the fact you were willing to pick up the test and drive to his house proves you are a kind boss and care about your employees
I'm glad I finally met someone else that uses the term "parasite" when describing pregnancy. This just made my morning. Cheers!
It felt much like a parasite to me, especially since it caused me to feel so crappy.
Also known as crotch goblins
“You are the star of your own show”. I lost it, I’m dying up here from Wisconsin! Love your content.
Option # 4 ~ She gets inconvenienced for the next 9 months. Gives birth. Puts the baby up for adoption to a good home and a loving couple who can't have children of their own.
Love the way you tell stories, and also appreciate the way you do everything possible to help your employees be successful.
I know it's hard to believe but some people are clueless. I was never given the birds and bees talk. I knew that when you got married you could have a baby. I knew some had a baby unmarried- "for shame!" I was almost 22 years old when I found out HOW you could get pregnant. I was brutally raped by a coworker, he was upset that I wouldn't go out with him. He said if I told anyone he would kill me. Eight months and two weeks later I gave birth to a boy, which I placed for adoption. Sadly 5yr. olds today know more than I did at 21. It's not a sin or a shame to tell your kids the facts of life! There's so much information easily obtained today than 44yrs. ago. But you have the best true stories! Always happy to see a video up from you. Stay safe and GOD bless
💜💜
Yep my older sister informed me u got babies by holding hands and kissing at the same time. I was for many years undoing hands of couples kissing as a kid. Thank God we had health Ed in high school. I'm sorry you suffered through that.
OMG that had to be traumatic. I have a feeling he was never prosecuted for it, since you didn't mention that in your story.
That's hilarious! How can two young adults not know or figure this out? Amazing. But on the other hand , your patience and caring for your employees and their families is above board. You take very good care and are straight forward with them. Well done sir.
Oh my goodness! Lol I'm so glad they are pleased... and I really know how sometimes the obvious can slip by a person... but really!? I laughed so hard my hubby of 43 years asked if I was laying an egg, (is that just a UK thing?) which just made me laugh harder.
Life Leasons with Uncle James! lol Love it!❤️🔥 Thank you for the good, the bad, and the ugly PSA! ROFL
Her: I CAN'T BE PREGNANT!!!
Me: Denial...
Me: Not just a river in Egypt...
😄😁😆😅😂🤣
The way he got going. My goodness.
"How the even fukk isn't it obvious?!?!?!"
You did this job, brother.
I get the impression you are about to become a grandfather of sorts, so long as your employee tries to man up.
My best to all of you and yours.
Be safe. Be neighborly. 🇨🇦
James, you have a way with phraseology and i ❤ it!
I think it’s called “snarkoligy”
I had to listen to this three times because I was laughing so hard. I only hope that your employee was just extremely stressed and honest to God not that stupid. When carrying a loaded gun you've got to watch where and when it goes off. LOL
Awesome news delivery. Congrats to the family uncle James!
"You don't have a stomach bug, you got a parasite that just happens to be the same species that you are. It's called a child."
I lost it when he said that! 🤣🤣
Hey, it's true. And the concept of cooperation between the mother to be and the fetus in her womb is also a crock of shit. A rather frequent medical condition is gestational diabetes. In a nutshell, the fetus is pumping hormones into the mother calling for "MOAR SUGAR", while the mother's body attempts to pump more insulin into her system to lower the surgar level to a sane value and fails. Gestational diabetes has the usual nasty effects of diabetes and additionally, causes the fetus to grow larger than normal which can cause ... issues ... during childbirth. So the parasite is calling for more sugar while the mother is fighting to keep the sugar low. Cooperation indeed. Bullshit.
@@johncochran8497 Yeah, that whole cooperation thing is just pure BS. It's a hostile take-over. It steals the calcium from your bones and teeth, reroutes your blood supply, and crushes your internal organs to make more space for it to grow. All the while it's dumping "feel good" hormones into your body so you agree to carry the little goblin until it's big enough to breathe on its own. Then it pushes its way out--hopefully head first--as you try not to scream, and tear, and bleed.
I've done it twice.
I hear the cure can take more than 18 years to complete.
"Many people learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites."
- Greg House
"You have a parasite. Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites."
"Ready or not, here I come!" -Their baby.
James, I believe I've watched most of your videos and this is by far and away the funniest story to date.
Not only is it funny in and of itself but the tone and inflection you use made it priceless 🤣
I shared this to my wife...she was getting her hair due...she called and her and her hairdresser were laughing their asses off...thanks for sharing that with us 🤣
DR James is the bomb!!! I hope he charged house call rates!😂😂😂😂
James your the boss society needs. So true about those test they only say wait just in case your a little late to the testing party 😂.
The "Delete" fee. 😂😂😂
Man...stories of employees and how you treat them. Absolutely not going to move across the country but you really make me want to just to work for a guy like you! Good job being that above and beyond boss. I'm sure you have plenty of good employees because of it.
Thank you for starting my day with a good laugh! You are the best boss ever. Congratulations to the lucky couple!
These humans hurt my head.
Its awesome you took the time to go out and give them some explanations and help. There's kids whose parents act like The Silent Generation and didn't teach beans, pretending sexual urges don't exist. There's parents who are neglectful and the 2 young adults never encountered sex teaching. Either way, your a good soul for being supportive and getting the confirmation tests.
James you crack me up the way you tell a story!
I called mine my little space invader, because she invaded my space.😂😂😅
James man. You’re a gem. These stories are always hilarious
Mystery Theater
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Love all your stories. You know they’re true because you just couldn’t make that stuff up
Great story, James! You sure know how to tell 'em!
😂 Some times we feel that way.
I wanted my children but I am really fatigued & sick pregnant
The fact that they are both that clueless… 🤦♀️
Yeah, I feel bad for that kid.
Congrats, brother! And guess what! I made my Eagle Scout!
Congratulations!!!! That’s a big deal! So much work and time. 😀😀😀
@@tammybushnell6920 Thank you, friend.
That is awesome!
@@JamesButlerWellAndSepticLife Thank you, sir. And wow I do feel KINDA sorry for your employee not knowing what those signs could have meant.
"undo delete fee." omg. 🤣
You need to be a motivational speaker/comic. That was funny as hell.
Check out the rest of his videos. They're instructional, motivational, funny.
With both of my kids I had morning sickness morning, noon and night. I have no idea why they call it morning sickness if it lasts all day.
I had stopped having kids after having a girl and a boy. My husband got a vasectomy and 5 years after my son was born, I had to have a hysterectomy on my 29th birthday. Problem solved with 100% guarantee.
In the end, it was the best birthday gift I ever got even though I after my hysterectomy I had severe internal bleeding and ended up having to have 2 surgeons got back in to stop the bleeding and had to be given a blood transfusion.
We ended up getting divorced because he was cheating on me and he got very mad at me because he had to spend the night in the hospital with me. My parents made him. He literally made me get out of my hospital bed that same night and sit in a chair because he was tired and wanted the bed. When the hospital discharged me, they told him that I couldn't be left alone. He dropped me off at the curb in front of our house, told me to go inside and he would go fill my prescriptions. Well, he ran into his brother and filled my prescriptions but then went to the bar with his brother. I took care of the kids, made supper, got them into the shower, took my Rottweiler out to go potty, did laundry and everything else. He came home about 1:30am. And couldn't figure out why I was mad at him. He dropped me off at the curb at 9:30am.
When I left it was the best thing I ever did. My kids are grown up now, my ex-husband passed away last April and I now have my own house and live with my 2 cats. I am happy now. No, I am not happy that he passed away but I now get to live my own life. I got married at age 17. BIG MISTAKE!
I am so happy for anyone who is happy to find out they are expecting a baby and are happy about it.
The best thing to ever come out of my marriage is my 2 kids.❤
You, kind sir, are a rarity, your approach to problem solving and management techniques are top shelf. You're the hammer that drives it straight home. Thank you for your transparency and sharing your experiences.
Congrats to the expectant couple! I've never met a mother that was ready to be pregnant, even if they thought they were. Never met a father that was ready either for that matter. And the way you phrase this stuff, priceless.
Side note Mr. Butler it is possible for men to have HGC, usually if a man makes a pregnancy test turn positive it's an indicator they might have prostate cancer. That's why drug testing companies have stopped doing them as part of a UA. They used to run pregnancy tests when men gave a sample to tell if someone was using someone else's pee since men obviously couldn't get pregnant.
After it was discovered that men with certain types of prostate cancer had HGC in their urine this practice stopped. Another side note, Depo Provera the contraceptive shot is sometimes used to slow the growth of prostate cancer.
We all know the real reason James left his house, got a two pack of pregnancy tests, and took them to the couple was strictly for the entertainment value. He knew they were clueless, he just wasn't quite prepared for exactly *how* clueless they were.
😅😊you are adorable. You got so much enjoyment informing this young couple about the birds and the bees.
I also got great enjoyment with your story. Thank You. ❤️
Just fyi ,EPT stands for Early pregnancy test
I thought so too, but when I looked it up I found that it is called an "e.p.t. Early Pregnancy Test" so from what I understand, it is the error proof test pregnancy test.
It stands for error proof test.
When ept first came out, it was advertised as the only error proof home pregnancy test as the others you could get were either ones that had to be mixed with chemicals, not shaken up while moving it to the stand that came in the box, etc. they were notorious for being wrong, even if you didn't mess up any of the steps. And the first pee sticks were def iffy. So EPT came out as a more expensive pee stick, but supposedly error proof, as all you had to do was pee on it, the readout was clearer, and it was accurate to justify the money you spent on it. Unfortunately for a lot of people, they are very, very rarely wrong.
Yeah but its 99.9 % acurate. Infact its so acurate some guy discovered he had testicular cancer with one when he peed on it as a joke. The body emits a chemical simiar to HCG when a guy has testicular cancer
YEAH JAMES KNOWS... HE WAS FUCKING WITH HIM THROUGH THE WHOLE THING!!😂😂😂
You sure are bold for being wrong
This had me rolling around laughing. Ready or not here it comes folks.
Your story telling is awesome.
I knew a Trucker that called home to his wife and asked whether she was pregnant, As he got morning sickness when she was pregnant(third child). I have no idea how that worked.
I've heard of that, it's called Couvade syndrome when fathers to be experience pregnancy symptoms. It can include anything from nausea, to back and/or abdominal pain, bloating, weight gain etc. Last I heard it's still a medical mystery why it happens to some fathers to be, and not others.
The entire time my wife was pregnant she threw up pretty much all day!
Me, too. I only have one question... why is it always carrots, even when I haven't eaten carrots?😂
Yeah, when he said it's only in the morning, I laughed out loud. I really wish my morning sickness would have kept itself to only mornings 😅 I was so sick all day everyday, and zofran was the only way I could function to feed myself and my toddler in 1st trimester this pregnancy.
@@TheScarletLadle I don't know! 😃
@@kristinchappell6677 I remember having to pull over so my wife could throw up on the way home one evening. I felt really bad for her.
It’s called Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
Physician should be involved.
Coworker: "I just don't know how this happened."
Me: "I think I know how it happened."
"Oh - buddy" You have a parasite! in this case she do. James, you cracks me up. Good to see you again.
James, love your work!🇦🇺
Parasitic Infection Testing Kits are available in Chemists for the woman who wants to know.
LOL!!! This is GREAT!!! It also amazes me how slow on the uptake some people are...
Gloriously delivered story!
That closing line ... couldn't have phrased it better. 👍
Thanks a ton!
Your an awesome person and boss, If I was closer (I live in Tennessee), and in much better shape I would love to go back to work just to work at your company!
honestly, that closing line, "you have a parasite that happens to be the same species as you are" that's a good one. *snicker*
Don't think I've seen as big a smile on James' face 😁 and congratulations to the happy couple from Australia
I love the way you tell stories!!
Wish I was local to you, if I was, I would apply to work at your company, you seem like a really awesome boss.
OMG! Both sticks showed positive? Do you know what that means? THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TWINS, fer cryin' out loud!
😂😂😂😂
Your stories & videos are amazing. Thank you for these stories, and how good of a leader you are for your people.
As a 66 year old man, I concur. I'm not ready to be pregnant. I feel her pain 🤣
Thank you for making my morning great!
Early morning thinking is NOT on your employee's schedule. Having a baby will be a rude awaking!! Really glad to hear they are happy about their surprise. Best wishes!!
I like how you said you earn the title father. Wish more people would strive to earn their parent title! God bless!