I say this with no malice toward any one … From a legal standpoint- a D&C is considered an abortive measure. Which means in states where abortion has been essentially banned - this exact procedure (D&C to remove the fetal tissue remaining after a miscarriage) would not be allowed for MOST women until their life is at stake. Women who want to have kids, are losing the ability to have children over people’s inability to recognize that this MEDICAL PROCEDURE is important and valid healthcare for many women. Y’all can rational your viewpoint on this all you want. The fact remains that medically and legally, a D&C is an abortion. Perhaps remember that when your senator, representative, pastor, etc demonizes abortion.
I’m post menopausal and was diagnosed with polyps and was offered a D&C to remove abnormal tissue. To me this is the same as having a D&C after a miscarriage and in no way are either of these D&C’s abortions.
Sara?starship. Rubbish. How long have you been on this earth? I hope you gather some maturity very soon and stop this shocking misinformation. Disgusting!
In 1970, I suffered a partial miscarriage because of the law I wasn’t eligible for a D&C. I was sent home without treatment. For six weeks I passed a copious amount blood and tissue to the point that I became terribly anemic from the lack of healthcare I should have received. ( Yes, I did go back to my doctor to ask for treatment and was sent home again without any help). It was a one of the worst experiences of my life. Sadly, in 1974 I suffered another miscarriage, because of the laws has changed in the state I was living in at the time I received a D & C immediately. I can’t tell how greatly appreciative I was to receive the care I deserved. No woman should be denied routine health care. In 1975, I became pregnant again. With the proper hormone treatment and bed rest for 4 months we finally were blessed with a beautiful baby. P.S. We also adopted two children, which comes with lots of love and a host of trials and tribulations. Please be thankful you received the healthcare you deserved, just as all women should receive.
Thank you for sharing Judy and you should not have had to go through that pain if you had the received the appropriate care. This is why it’s so important we fight for women’s health care.
@@judyblakely7450 in 1973 I delivered a baby boy at 5 months. They called it a miscarriage but we had to name him and bury him. I didn’t have a d&c and bled for weeks. Five years later we decided to have a baby. Tried for 10 years with all kinds of infertility workup…pills, charts, operations etc. then we decided to adopt. They both were newborns. We now have two beautiful daughters who are in their 30s. Our goal was babies and we got them. I felt my story was similar to yours…
I’ve lost 3 of my 4 children. First was a 5 month miscarriage, second was a full term stillbirth, third was a son age 27. I will meet them again in heaven. I don’t dwell on it, I have peace. You don’t get over grief, you get thru it.
Omg so sorry to hear your story. Heartbreaking. I had two miscarriages very early on in the pregnancy. Glad you have peace with it all. I have two wonderful great girls and feel so blessed to have them in my life. So many say I want a girl or a boy I said I want a healthy baby and thankful they r healthy.
As a Catholic, I’m pro choice. Many do not use abortion as “birth control”. Many have to have it done for medical or financial reasons, and this very controversial view is harmful by saying it’s not healthcare and that it’s an excuse to escape responsibility. I respectfully disagree with your opinions.
@@janetbirky1626 oh but it can be. Healthcare costs money. It’s never free. That’s why many other commenters have said this issue is not simply a black and white scenario.
I am also Catholic, and tend to be more pro-choice, although I don’t think I could ever have had an abortion myself. That being said, I have to say that I have had several friends who have had abortions over the years, and every one of them had nothing to do with medical or financial reasons. They simply were irresponsible (did not use protection) and yes, they used abortion as a form of birth control. A couple of them have had multiple abortions.
How can you say you’re Catholic and not agree with the written word of God. We’re supposed to hate what God hates and abstain from all evil. The Bible says that God hates hands that shed innocent blood.
I think the reason why there's vitriol is because, women ALL feel that way in that surgery room. No one takes being in that room lightly. The circumstances behind it might have a million different reasons. Some you may agree with and some you may not. But it isn't up to us to choose for someone else what is right. Respectfully, God is the one who is the ultimate judge of sinners. So let him do his job & support your fellow women with love and compassion because we ALL walk our own path, and have to make the best decisions we can for ourselves. ❤ Thankyou for sharing your story. These stories are so important.
I personally respect everyone’s opinion…I think where things get fuzzy for society is when we afflict our personal opinions on others and use them to influence legislation for the masses. Just my thoughts. Thanks for sharing your story.
Whether or not I agree with your beliefs entirely, I still watched the broadcast. I respect your views and appreciate what you had to talk about today! Keep up the good work
I respect it too, but just because they believe that doesn’t mean we have to. I think everybody should respect everybody’s believes and it should be the woman’s choice not the governments.
One of the many problems with the national conversation is the part where politicians are wanting to tell YOUR doctor that YOU should not have been able to have the D&C after your baby was already lost. We the people need to refuse to allow politicians to attempt to practice medicine! Please share your story anytime, anywhere!!!
That’s a lie ! You have a miscarriage and your doctor won’t let you get a D&C That’s totally misinformation. Did that happen to you? You need a new doctor if that happen to you. But I think you just talking story
This is a lie that the abortion industry is spreading. A d&c for a miscarriage is not that same as an abortion and is not being denied my medical professionals.
I love your testimony on your miscarriage. I lost a pregnancy early on and felt like i wasnt valid in mourning at that point. I had known a few people who had still births or late miscarriages and i had only known i was pregnant for a few weeks. I also had 4 healthy kiddos and we were not trying for the 5th pregnancy. I struggled for over a year before i allowed myself to grieve. And like you, it really brought the idea of abortion to a clearer light for me because i heard so many times "its not a baby, its a fetus" it completely invalidated the CHILD i was mourning. Such a blessing to hear stories like your own.
Tori, I’m so sorry about your miscarriage. Thank you for sharing your story here. I wish you more healing and nothing but the best ❤️🩹 That said, I encourage you to do more research and consider more points of view on the abortion issue. It’s easy to say “I would never choose abortion” when both of you have strong support systems, are in a loving marriage, and aren’t hurting financially. I’d encourage you to look up the RUclips channel “Soft White Underbelly” and listen to some of these people’s stories. Some people are homeless, come from chaotic households with absent parents, are drug addicted, etc. and are definitely not in a position to bring a baby into the world. Many people aren’t educated on what a real respectful relationship looks like, how to know when they’re being sexually abused, what their contraception options are and how to use them, etc. This isn’t even to mention abortion for medical necessity - look up the stories of the women who are part of the Zurawski v. Texas lawsuit. Abortion should be a woman’s last resort, but it should still be on the table. Even if you don’t change your mind on the policy I hope that you realize the wide breadth of situations that women who make that choice might be in.
I have watched your podcast from the beginning and I watched the show big big fan. I just would like to offer my perspective when it comes to the abortion topic. I too am a believer. I too wish people would make better choices however, I guess I would hope with your platform That maybe there would be more grace for people and their choices. I don’t think women who come to the conclusion that abortion is the only option that that’s an easy choice. And we as believers need to be there for people who have had an abortion or who are thinking of having an abortion to be that person for them if they need it. Also I believe that churches and believers need to step up whether that’s becoming foster parents adoptive parents mentors. We all quickly want to give our opinions, but we don’t necessarily want to offer alternative solutions unless they align with us and so I would just say to you with love and grace that, not every abortion is a contraceptive solution. I hope this all makes sense. Peace and love and I’ll continue watching.
I'm going to share something that I rarely share... I was 13 when a gorgeous older man started grooming me. I fell in "LOVE" and was 14 the first time. I became pregnant and he took me to one of those clinics. I'm grateful that he did though because I didn't have support my mother had left years ago. To me, it IS healthcare SOMETIMES. xoxo
Completely agree. And comparing having sex to driving drunk is ridiculous. One is illegal. One is not. And there are many, many more people having abortions for reasons such as yours. But we don't always know those numbers because it is often not reported. So people assume that the majority of abortions are performed simply because it is the easy way out of the "consequence". Sort of a slippery slope they went down....and I'm a little disappointed. I feel like it is OK to be pro-life for yourself, but the choice HAS to be there. Period.
What state has a law that says you can't get a D&C? That is not an abortion. The healthcare industry needs to change that so it isn't so confusing but as far as I know, every state that has passed a heartbeat law still allows D&C.
In Canada we never talk about abortion - it's not an issue because it is legal. Canadians have their beliefs one way or the other which is perfectly fine and most people respect that fact that it is none of their business what others are doing. People don't talk about it because it's a personal matter that doesn't warrant the input of anyone other than the mother and her doctor. I don't understand why people want to put their beliefs on people they don't know and have no idea about their situations. It's truly bizarre that this subject takes up so much of everyone's energy. Oh and our universal healthcare system even pays for it!
@@jck6920 and when the fetus has died and a woman isn't able to get a D&C? What do you call that? Maybe that is murder when she goes septic and her life is at risk or her fertility is compromised. We call it women's healthcare and luckily it's not up for debate in Canada
I disagree with you. Iam a very pro-life Canadian. I talk about it because Iam the child of rape; the date rape drug. I don't believe in abortion even in cases of rape. My daughter is 19; she completely agrees with me.
The choice is individual. You wanted your baby feom the beginning. Someone else might not have wanted it ever. So the decision is easier to make. Also, it is health care because you were able to abort your deceased fetus for your health!!! That's the definition of health care!
She did not abort her already dead fetus. An abortion kills a living being, by definition. A D&C is preformed to remove the child who died of natural causes but it is not an abortion. An abortion intentionally ends the life of a living being in the womb. I’m so sick of this argument. It’s so misleading and full of absolute lies to perpetuate this idea of the pro-abortion movement.
She’s lucky she was able to have that procedure because she could have been in a state that would need to see PUS before they would give her the procedure.
yes, we must stand for life, especially as we go into this election cycle. neither of the candidates are as pro-life as they should be. I would highly consider you to check out actually pro-life presidential candidates like Randall Terry, Peter Sonski, Terrisa Bukovinac, and Joe Manchin.
I had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks and because it happened right after an appointment, I carried the baby several weeks not knowing he was gone. I had gotten bloated and started getting sick. I didn’t have an option and had a D&C pretty quickly. It was difficult, because they didn’t allow my husband to stay with me and treated me like it was an abortion, which made it very traumatic. I had 4 miscarriages total and the last 3 were trying to have our last baby 16 years after our 2nd. God told me to keep going because He had a plan and I needed to trust it. We were blessed with our miracle baby and now he’s 17 and still at home. Our other children are adults. We lost their father in 2021 and having my miracle baby has been such a blessing during this difficult time.
I wanna say that in my life, I’ve learned some key things and I’m Christian. My beautiful mother taught me to pray for people. She showed me that if you judge the arrow will be turned back to you. If you were blessed enough to have the white picket fence and all the blessings from the beginning count yourself blessed but we don’t know what people are going through behind closed doors Prayer for hurting women that are thinking of having abortions or had abortions. May God love those women.
@@pamelac.5600I’m not disagreeing on the sin part but they should have recognized that compassion towards women is better than judgement… because not all of these women would do it if they got help instead of judgement. But the love of God forgives sinners and through faith in Jesus we can live blessed and join him in Glory for eternity
This was such a touchy subject for some that may not have figured out how to come to grips with having a miscarriage and you all both did a great job sharing.
Tori if u lived in one of the many states that have passed laws preventing abortions which includes performing this procedure(D&C Dilation and curettage ) after a miscarriage and a doctor afraid of being criminally prosecuted and their medical license revoked would not have given you the choice , your loss and trauma would of been greater. Because now u could be at risk of sepsis ,probably not being able to have ur 3rd child even worse cause ur death! Most likely your view on having the right to choose would be different . I’m also a Christian married and have had 2 healthy children who r adults now. Never have I had the situation or a miscarriage to have had to make this choice and for me I would not have an elective abortion not in my belief system and what I’ve been taught in my Christian Catholic teachings. Or who knows if I would of been in a bad situation what my choices would of been…Yes this is ur channel and u have the right to share what u believe in, but u both have more influence in the masses. I think the big problem in society is trying to impose our beliefs on others whether intentional or not. Women should have the right to choose what is best for their bodies, not the government!!! This issue should have been kept between the patient,(woman or all parties involved , God (conscience,beliefs) , and the doctor. Oh well most likely this topic will continue to be controversial as long as humans keep trying to be GOD!!! Judge and condemn women for wanting the right to choose. I firmly believe Jesus Christ would be more forgiving and he did give us the free will right? ‘So at the end of it all is between God and me (all humans individually with Him) on judgement day ‘.. anyways , I also think heaven has a place for every kind of animal why would God ask Noah to build the ark and bring every kind of animal on to it Genesis 6:13-9:29. I really hope you both step back and reconsider what u have shared in regards to having a choice , not ur beliefs of course . I love watching ur content but on this one I have to disagree 😕
Not at all true. To have to remove a dead baby from a miscarriage is still different and is understood. This is not at all true! It's not a true abortion.
I love you guys and how you interact and share good and bad in life's journey. You are not only inspiring but it is refreshing to see you both grow along the way, especially Zach and his comfort level on air. You are raw and inviting and look forward to more. Have a wonderful vacation and good luck to Josiah and prayers for a full and quick recovery.
I have to differ on dogs not being children. I never had kids. I had my baby who passed away in my arms 2 weeks ago. She was my child. I am truly sorry for your loss.
I can definitely relate to "that room" and the negative feelings about it. Having had a miscarriage and D&C following, although it was many years ago, I'm still traumatized from "that room". I can remember having to walk in on my own power and wanting to turn and run. I can remember waking in the recovery room and asking the nurse what time it was. When she answered and that's when I knew what was left of my baby was gone now. I burst out in tears. That sweet nurse, I never knew her name, but to this day I remember her face and her wiping away my tears. She gently consoled me. I was so grateful for her. I'm thankful that Zack said what he did about consequences, because that is what I have felt. The choice is when you sleep with someone.
I'm so happy you guys are so understanding. I didn't used to be, but then I was assaulted. And following that, I thought I was pregnant. Luckily I wasn't, but I remember doing so much research on different options because I knew that I couldn't deliver that baby. I'm religious, but in that moment, I remember blaming myself for the incident and wondering what people would think, what my family would think. That was all 5 years ago, and I've done a lot of growing since then. So now I'm indifferent to abortion, I think it's definitely the right option for some people
As a Christian and an ultrasound tech, very well said. Absolutely agree with your comments on the abortion issues right now. A D&C and an elective abortion are absolutely two different things. When I get an ER or L&D order for possible miscarriage or no fetal heart tones my heart drops a little and I feel so relieved when I see the heart beating. But in those moments when for some reason the pregnancy is not meant to be, I am there for the patient and their family for a hug or for a cry. I had a patient ask me once if it was her fault? It is not your fault, for some reason the pregnancy was not meant to be and you will see your child in heaven. Keep up the good work!
A D&C is a procedure to evacuate the contents of the uterus, whether used for elective abortion or to remove remains after a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage)
I’m a NICU nurse. I’ve seen babies born addicted to drugs, no prenatal care, and the parents never come back for them. It breaks my heart, is nurses are the only ones in the world caring for them in those moments. Most of the time we have a very hard time finding a foster family for them and they will be affected for their whole life from their mom’s choices during pregnancy. These babies don’t have a normal life or a normal family. They are not wanted. That’s the difference between you getting a d&c and these mothers.
so true and so sad. that just goes to show the society where we live in where children are sacrificing for their parents instead of the other way around. it's evil and corrupt
I really like that you guys are not political. I’m glad you are in a loving relationship with lots of support and money. It’s sad that you are not seeing that everyone has their own situation. So to say the MAJORITY people who get elective abortions are because they were drinking and had one night stands…😮😮😮 judging others is not very Christian of you…stick to other topics.
Exactly! Thank you for saying what I was thinking. I was scrolling through the comments and was a bit shocked by many of them and that no one pointed this out. I am so sad that she went through that but sitting in that room and thinking about how awful she felt the whole time made her beliefs more black and white??… instead of thinking that many other women have their own situations and no matter what, that decision would be hard for any woman to make and is not typically taken lightly. The fact that they could chop it all up to people needing to take accountability for their drunken nights/decisions as their takeaway was wild!
They literally just took a political stand. Abortion is 1000% a political stance these days. When elected officials are regulating woman’s bodies, NOT MEN, that’s political.
A zealot could also argue that if you know your body cannot carry a baby to term and yet you keep trying. Isn't that a sin? Your choosing to let another child die inside of your weak womb. In effect aborting your child without the actual medical intervention. This issue is very layered and individual. That's why we need to be able to make our own decision as to what we choose for our bodies
I found this at the right time. I am only 17 and me and my boyfriend lost a baby this year she had Alobar Holoprosencephaly and lived only 3 months. Then right after she died I found out I was pregnant and had a miscarriage. This year has been so hard.
Excellent episode! Appreciate your vulnerability and honesty! So many of us have experienced miscarriages and it's important to be a support to other women going through that loss!❤
Since you don’t know what people are going through, please have a little compassion for people whose pets are the ONLY family they have, and their loss is beyond agonizing 😢
I have to agree on this one. I couldn't have children, i'm 60 now, but when i was young and trying to have children it was the hardest time of my life. I do understand that a human and an animal are different, but my fur babies, became my children and any time i have lost one of them, was very traumatic for me.
My heart goes out to the many women who would choose to give birth but find themselves in impossible circumstances. Most women would never choose abortion, and agonize over their decision. Every circumstance is different, and no one should speak for everyone. We need to love each other, support each other, and allow women to make difficult choices with medical, family, and non judgemental support.
@@sharongreen2163 If most women would never choose abortion, how can there be millions of babies aborted in just a few decades? It's become too common, and heartbreakingly acceptable. Our society needs to commit to finding solutions for these mothers and fathers that don't involve rejecting the child. But we must speak for those innocent children that cannot speak for themselves.
All i have to say is it's a personal choice for sure. My feeling is if you are young, naive , have had no parental guidance and probably a million other scenarios, and you make that decision, thats one thing, but if someone is using it as a form of contraception, and doesn't learn after the first time, there should never be a second time. If it is a scenario such as Tori's case, this is about being taking care of your body, when that baby unfortunately is already gone.
@suefromtorontoon5517 I don't think you realize that you're saying if a woman or girl is raped and impregnated more than once, shame on her. It's her own fault. That's just one example of a hypothetical situation a girl or woman can find herself in. Worse yet, I've heard this story too many times, also involving incest.
@@andanotherthing... i'm not talking about rape or incest, which in my opinion are the same thing. Of course i would expect a women to have a choice in these situations.
I love your channel and family but this video upset me greatly. Tori I’m sorry for the loss you and Zach went through. You can have the opinion you believe for yourself but that shouldn’t effect others ability to be able to have an abortion. I do used to think this way til I opened my eyes to realizing there are so many scenarios beyond what most know. One you mentioned being rape but there’s abusive relationships, financial hardships, homelessness, addictions, and one simply not being able to care for a child or just not wanting a child in general. I want to have kids some day but that’s not the case for everyone. Forcing someone that doesn’t want a child to go through and have them can cause the child to be in family where he or she isn’t wanted and not get the same care. There’s also people with disabilities (both physical or mental) where they dont have the ability to care for a baby. Drinking drunk which isn’t legal and someone having sex and getting pregnant isn’t the same. I understand for you that you don’t want an abortion and couldn’t understand why someone would but be lucky that you don’t have to experience that feeling. It’s not as simple as “well yo I decided to have sex and this is the natural outcome”. People use birth control and still can become pregnant. This is really sad that both of you think this way. I understand that the both of you don’t want an abortion but your thoughts shouldn’t then be able to change that choice for someone else
Also to add to what Zach said, animals are most definitely in heaven. How dare you say that to your wife who loves her dog. I’m sorry if my significant other said that about my fur baby I’d seriously consider otherwise. God made all the animals why wouldn’t they be in heaven? We humans are no more superior then dogs who have more compassion then most
@@stephaniem4565 yes but not all the time, there are cases where people are raped, drugged, or abused and can’t get out of the relationship or into safety. Abortion should be illegal, nobody should be able to have control over someone else’s body
@@sonjazook3542 it did because it showed a different side of their character, it’s not murdering babies, everyone should have the choice as there are different circumstances
The only thing I can say about Abortion is there are sooo many different reasons women/teens do this. Yes it’s very hard to think about but until you’re in others shoes?? Just saying b
To quote Sister Joan Chittister, but the fact remains that people will not care for those children, and they will be abused and unloved. So it is not enough to be pro birth, making them have the baby is not going to make them want/love that child. Then what. There needs to be more resources, shelters, funding, and support for those unwanted children. I am pro life not just pro birth.
I think that Tori saying that abortion became black and white to her in that room is a rather odd take. I would think it would have been a moment for more understanding. No woman wants to have an abortion. Her saying because they wanted that baby so much is their experience and isn't the case in most circumstances for those choosing to abort and thats not their situation anyhow. Oof at the take of it being a matter of not wanting to take responsibility. My take is it is a matter of just that, responsibilitiy of not being able to provide for that will be baby and any other very valid reasons. No child should be brought into this world unwanted. Very judgemental for a "child of Chirst" IMHO. They have a family member who was sexually assaulted, what if they were female and became pregnant. It's not as rare as those against abortion make it out to be, and to put it so lightly as Zach did was a bit gross. Other than that I have enjoyed their content, agree to disagree. Advocate for better access to affordable birth control and education.
Agree… and to say a person “made the choice to have sex so need to accept the consequence” I think is an unfair judgement coming from people who are privileged enough to come from supportive families and have good mental health. Some people come from abusive/neglectful households, suffer poor mental health, use drugs/alcohol to cope when they have no one else to turn to…and yeah, seek comfort from people (they probably shouldn’t)..have sex, get pregnant…can’t support a child when they can hardly support themselves (the father is likely not suitable for the job either) and an abortion is the best choice. Of course they don’t WANT that, but it’s an act of love/maturity rather than bring a human into the world who is going to struggle/not have all their needs met.
@@Just-JaciAbsolutely. It's easy to see where their opinions stem from and I'd say most is as you stated coming from privilege. Pair it with religion as well as lack of education on the matter.
With you on this one. Some people would disagree with her dnc bc they’d say, leave it in god’s hands… that’s where this will go if abortion is fully banned and women’s healthcare rights are taken away.
@@jacxbr39right, some of those who also see abortion as black and white want to jail women for miscarriage and/or don't see the difference between a D&C and abortion.
There are plenty of reasons women seek an abortion. Reducing it to "if you have sex, live with the consequences" is so dismissive. So much for accepting others and being kind.
Thanks for opening up and being vulnerable to share your journey through miscarriage. I can relate and was encouraged with much of what you said, and I also appreciate how you shared how through your loss you grew in your understanding and viewpoint on abortion and what it does to a live unborn child. Looking forward to more content from your podcast.
Wow...I so appreciate this episode! I already appreciated you and Zach as it was, but I really appreciated your raw feelings and the importance of reaching out to your people during a time like this and that God can and will help you through something like this. Our first baby died in a miscarriage, and I did go through the miscarriage process at home. It is true labor for sure, and it was heart wrenching. We had dealt with infertility before that too, so it was truly agonizing. And we didn't know if it would ever happen. About a year later, we thought we had another miscarriage, but it was a false positive. So after that, my husband and I had to give up our dream of having children to God to make our family of two (our marriage) more important than our desires. And we dedicated ourselves to trusting in God's wisdom over our desires. And then when we had done that....3 months later He blessed us with conceiving our son and even though I was more afraid throughout the pregnancy, he was okay and it was an easy pregnancy til the end . And then a few years later, He blessed us with our daughter. It's been 12 years since our loss, and I remember the day we saw no heartbeat and found out and remember that whole experience. But I also have gratitude for God's help through it all. And He can handle our hurts and pains and even questions. I am proud of you for also speaking up against abortion and showing the truth of that. Abortion IS NOT healthcare! A man's view is just as important as a woman's! Thank you, Zach, for sharing that! Many blessings to you and your family!!
I don't want to be in a heaven with no animals, that isn't heaven to me. One of the best episodes of the original Twilight Zone had that mantra. The old man and his dog, one of the only not creepy but strangely tear jerker episodes.
I agree with your feelings. However, keep in mind that the abortion laws passed in some states outlaw the procedure Tori had as well. They will NOT do the procedure UNTIL the woman is septic. Please reconsider your stance. Tori matters to Zack and the children. She may not have survived to bring Josiah into the world. Not everything is black and white.
I have a little brother or sister that my mom lost to miscarriage so I'm really thankful for y'all's willingness to share your story. I also appreciate y'all's bravery on sharing your prolife position! 😊
16 States have banned D&Cs unless they are medically necessary. As such, court intervention is required to get this procedure even in the case of miscarriage. If Zach and Tori lived in: TX, ID, ND, SD, OK, MO, AR, LA, IN, KY, TX, MS, AL, WV, SC or FL they would likely not have been able to get a D&C and Tori would have had to miscarry at home. I am not an advocate for abortion as contraception. In fact I don't think anyone thinks that's a good thing. But people make the assumption that America is full of loose women who are aborting babies for fun. How do we know that? How do we know how many cases of rape, incest or physical or emotional issues are causing abortions? We don't. We're demonizing women without knowing their stories and that is wrong. I would be in support of a panel of women of any party talking directly to a woman seeking an abortion. I believe every woman would the compassion necessary to hear a woman's story and determine if the abortion is an appropriate solution. But to think that politicians or judges should be the ones who determine if Tori has to bleed out her miscarried child at home. That just seems so cruel and wrong. That can't be what women are seeking. There must be a better way. Also note: There are 600,000 abortions per year in the US. There are over 1 million miscarriages in the US each year. There are 350,000 reported rapes in the US per year, with all stats saying the actual rape rate is likely 2-3 times higher than that number. How do we know what those 600,000 women were dealing with when they got an abortion? Shouldn't we be focused on getting that story from women BEFORE we decide to ban medical procedures.
Live in texas know someone that just had one. It wasn't a life or death moment it was a if you don't pass the baby with this time frame this is what we should do. I haven't ask her if it was a you cant do it, right now when she found out.
Thank you for being so open about such a rough moment in your life. Speaking of god, When my dad passed, my first thought was he's with god , it actually felt good knowing that. Also I was happy he finally got to see his parents for first time in 40 years. I picture them all partying in heaven.
All life is precious ❤ I have had a lot of kids, but lost one and I still mourn the one I lost. I also know one day I’ll hold them in my arms. Thank you for talking about this ❤❤
My first miscarriage was devastating. My babies heart stopped beating. My doctor was so amazing. He kept searching for the heart beat and gave me time and also allowed time for my family to arrive at the hospital before I had to have surgery. It was a really difficult time. I was born with some congenital issues which made it difficult to have children. But I have two amazing sons. I feel truly blessed to have them. But that pain I can remember it like it was yesterday.
I had a miscarriage last December. I had to go to the ER to confirm it and the documentation called it a “spontaneous abortion.” That term was so hard and traumatizing because we were so hopeful for that baby and it was the day before my birthday.
Thank you guys for having the controversial conversation! So needed in this moment! Tori, I had an ectopic pregnancy, and my tube burst. Still can’t talk about it without emotion. 5 years in and still trying. Super hard season, but God is faithful. Thank you guys. ❤
Thank you for sharing. I have a lot of respect for you doing this. We don't always have to agree, but respect each others opinions. Hopefully this discussion will help others. Enjoy your break! Your podcast is very interesting.
Thank you for this Tori and Zach. My mom miscarried between me and my brother over 50 years ago. We knew that it happened but she never talked about it. Hearing this gave me insight into something my mom and dad went through. They’re both gone now, but this gave me more connection to them than ever before. Thank you.
"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, educated, housed. Every child deserves to be born into love & stability. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is." - Sister Joan Chittister/Benedictine Nun, Author & Speaker
I totally understand your feelings. At 21 I had a tubular pregnancy. I lost one tube so my chances of becoming pregnant lessened. At 36 I was blessed to be pregnant. Unfortunately I woke one morning bleeding. The doctor did a DNC to clean me out to prevent infection. Unfortunately I was never able to get pregnant again. For whatever reason God did not bring motherhood to my life. At times I can get sad, yet I know I will see my babies in heaven. My faith has kept me joyful, grateful and loved. Congratulations on your rainbow baby Josiah. I absolutely love all of your kids. Keeping you and family in prayers. ❤
My eldest son and and his wife sadly lost more than one pregnancy. With the last pregnancy, at approx 4 mnths? a scan showed very clearly that this little life was not viable and had no chance at life. I dare anybody to try to tell me, as this little ones Nana, that this woman should not go through the procedure to end this pregnancy, to stop any risk of infection to this young woman and risk her own life. Think, just for a moment.
I get the point Zach is trying to make regarding consequences and abortion. I think you also really have to consider though that the child that’s born will now have to suffer the lifelong consequences of who their parents are and that they maybe didn’t want them. Not everyone gets to have parents that can love and support them well.
Exactly. You may be able to force a woman to have the baby but you can’t force her to love , nurture and sacrifice for that baby its whole life and put that child first always .
As a man, I cannot begin to imagine the pain of a miscarriage for the female and I'm sure there is also great grief for her partner. Understand if the MAGAot'verse returns to power, all women who have miscarriages will have to be reported by their doctors. The women will then be investigated to see what type of lifestyle they lived, did they do anything injurious to the baby, did they purposefully try to induce an abortion somehow? The compounding of harm upon the mother, who is justifiably fragile, is unimaginable. This should be between the parents and their doctor, the government has no business being involved. Additionally, the MAGAots want to eliminate contraception and IVF (which is really mind blowing since these supposed Christians want more babies). I am sure this discussion, by two of the most level headed young adults that I've seen, will be comforting to many who have had this experience and some wise guidance for those currently going through it. Well done.
At least now, women have some support when having a miscarriage. When I was that age, it was like, well, something was wrong with the fetus. Let it go. Depending on the state you live in now D&C is no longer available because even if the fetus does not have a heart beat. They give pills and send the woman home. So unfair. People make choices that fit where they are in life. Many, many reasons woman get abortions.
Same thing happened to me - it was a horrendous experience and choice to make. I still relive it today and it was over 30 years ago, that you for talking about it. It's so hard to explain and everyone expected me to 'bounce' back from it immediately and was even told by my mom to 'get over it' 😢 hard for me to talk about it to this day 💔
I have had 4 miscarriages and it took me 11 years to have a full-term pregnancy. Those were some of the hardest times. We are so blessed to have 2 wonderful children now.
I ❤ this episode. I had a loss due to miscarriage. I have 5 healthy children and 6 grandchildren. My miscarriage was hard. I ❤ and commend you both for putting out your thoughts on abortion. I wish more people would speak about it. I had 3 children people tried to talk to me about abortion, one I was 18, one was diagnosed with a heart problem, and one was when I was pregnant at 42. All my children are prefectly healthy. Children are a blessing.God has a plan for everyone. I ❤ your videos and your family. Have a wonderful trip.
Thank you for sharing your story! Abortion (the killing of a baby in the womb) is the greatest evil in modern history. A D and C after miscarriage is NOT the intentional killing of a child and is NOT illegal in any state in the United States. Just wanted to set the record straight on that! Some of the comments on here are false! I plan to begin listening to your podcast all because of the truth that Tori and Zach share in this episode. Each child is a blessing and worthy of life!❤
There are women who have miscarried and are not able to have the D&C procedure due to state laws. Look it up. There are plenty of women’s stories out there. They will not touch them u til they are infected. Educate yourself. It’s state based.
Thank you for sharing I have lost 2 babies and your story really brought me back to that place. Sharing this to other women is very important! My first miscarriage brought me to a place where I hardly could cope. Jesus lead me to share to a lady who had just lost her twins. I could share with her that I had also lost a baby and a year later had my son. God leads us in such amazing ways. Sharing with other woman is what God has called us to do when we have gone through such a tragedy. Bless you both
We had 2 children a daughter & a Son, they both disowned us, & because of it, our daughter won't let us enjoy time with her kids our grandchildren. It hurts, big time. We're old now my Husband is age 63, & I'm age 66 going on 67 in November. - love you 2 a lot, pray for you 2 all the time. - Debbie & Mike on Highland Lick Rd in Lewisburg, KY
I am a 60+ y/o woman who never had an abortion but had the safe and legal procedure available to me during the entirety of my reproductive years. What frustrates me about this debate is the black and white approach to it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but please do not talk as though you can know what it's like to be in some else's shoes. Not everyone is raised by a loving, supportive family. Not everyone was raised with Christian values that guide them. Not everyone has access to healthcare. Not everyone has a safety net, family, financial or otherwise. Not everyone will have a place to live if they announce to their parents that they are pregnant, etc., etc., etc. In other words, not everyone has the same advantages or life experience as those condemning abortion as a choice. Many women and girls seeking abortions do not simply make the decision to "go get drunk and have sex" as Zach states with confidence. Children who are sexually abused often seek out sex as a way to connect to others because that is how their brains are wired as a result of the abuse. Women who were not provided the necessary love and affection from their caregivers during childhood may become sexually active in order to feel affirmed and loved. I know a woman whose father beat her and her siblings with regularity. She had three abortions and decided to follow through with her final pregnancy. That child never had a chance. He grew up in a chaotic household filled with alcohol, drugs and abuse. Consequently he is an alcoholic drug abuser, spent several years in juvenile detention and now is a criminal who is in and out of prison. So it's not always a happy ending when a woman chooses not to abort her pregnancy. And it's no one else's business, especially not the government's, first and foremost.
I had the same experience at 12 weeks with my 5th pregnancy. My body didn't show any signs my baby had passed and had to go in for the D&C. My 3rd pregnancy was lost very early, probably at 4 weeks. I had an IUD and got pregnant anyway and caused the miscarriage. The one thing I remember hearing after that last miscarriage is "there was probably something wrong with the baby anyway" or "better to lose it now than later or have a still born" . These were all things I knew logically, but emotionally not what I needed to hear at that time. I wanted to mourn my baby and I felt like people were guilting me into not feeling that. I know that was not their intention, it was meant to comfort, but it really didn't. We do and should mourn no matter when we experience that loss. I did give birth to 4 healthy sons though and feel very very blessed.
I have always wanted kids, but i never found anyone that wanted me for me and wanted to have a life long relationship with me, now I am almost 50 and it is something that will not happen for me. I am so glad you guys found each other and have the wonderful family you have.
My mom's first baby passed away from the flu at 6 weeks old. That stuck with both of my parents for their entire lives. But they went on to raise 6 kids but before and after she has me (At age 44 by then) she had two miscarriages, They always stuck with my parents. I'm glad you can open up about it.
One of my favorite phrases when I am going through hard things is "Come what may and love it". We need to even love the hard things because we grow and learn so much by going through trials. We can learn to appreciate our trials and love our Heavenly Father because He gives them to us. So very sorry about your loss.
That is your choice but a woman is in charge of her own body . If someone else is raped (even by a family member ) you want them to have that trauma ? Talk about trauma of being raped I just wish people would avoid pregnancy in the first place then not a choice to make. We are not to judge God will ! I worked inOB in a very low income scary area young girls came in because of a family member taking over their body! One was 13 and it was horrible !!!!
I am a huge advocate for the right to choose and just as Important free and easy access to birth control. Just began watching and if your comment means to say they have negative viewpoints on the matter I'll be disappointed as I've enjoyed their content thus far. Seeing as how one of their own family members dealt with SA and very young no less, what if they were female and became pregnant and what their take would be.
@@jenniferjohnson9589oh that's right I forgot about the IVF things that were said. I just got to the hot take part and made a comment that those on the opposing side probably won't like lol. Disappointing at their take though not too surprised. The only thing I found strange is how her opinion about abortion changed to black and white after she had a D&C, I'd think that would have had a less judgemental and more understanding lean but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@Mrs.Self.Distruct What I find so ironic is that, less than 100 years ago in the US, they would not have been allowed to marry, much less reproduce, and their children would have been considered the product of a criminal act. Forced sterilization was still being practiced in some states in the US up until the 1970s and is still practiced in certain parts of the world today. If anyone should be empathetic to the heartbreaking decisions and struggles where reproductive issues and rights are concerned, it should be them. They’re offended that would anyone would second guess their right to bring children into this world, yet here they are judging other people’s choices. This breaks my heart.
You need to understand how often sex is NOT a choice. You have absolutely no clue in your sweet protected lives with supportive families how awful some men can be to young girls and women. To FORCE abused little girls and women to have babies from their dads, uncles, mom's boyfriends, etc is inhumane. Full stop. Jesus teaches us to have compassion for everyone, not just unborn children.
Thank you for sharing. I honestly can’t imagine. As a women who has not gotten to experience pregnancy I’m saddened for this loss. I’m so thankful for two women at has chosen life.I have the honor to parent the kids they at the time were not able to. God is so amazing how he uses situations for his glory.
My son and his wife suffered a miscarriage. Later he shared a conversation with me that he had with his wife. There were three were in this situation (him, wife, unborn child). His thought was simple. What if the baby changed its mind and was not ready to join their family? No blame on wife, no blame on husband, no blame on baby. Baby just changed their mind. My reaction was, Why not? How many times have we made plans to travel, to move, to buy a car, MAJOR things. And the timing was not right for us, and we changed our mind. I prefer this overall sentiment as opposed to the doctor saying it was this or that. A loss to you of course, but no blame, no shame!! love you guys
Tory, I also had a miscarriage with my second pregnancy & saying that having your baby seeing God first if it couldn’t be you makes me comforted for my baby too. I’m Christian & never thought of it that way. So thank you for saying it. You have a beautiful soul and family.
Thank you for sharing!! This is so relatable to me! I ended up misscarying (for the second time within a 6month time frame) twins at 12 weeks in April and ended up having to do the d&c. It has been hard to overcome. But seeing the word abortion on the medical forms crushed me. I would never choose that for myself. I pray God gives me kids and its in my plan. Tori that was a great mindset! Thanks again for sharing
I had a miscarriage back in 2019. I was 9 and 1/2 weeks pregnant. It was so hard it was our second baby, we had went on vacation prior to that and just told both of our families that we were pregnant with our second child and our daughter, she was like two. She was super excited. After our vacation I had an appointment with the doctor because they weren't able to find the heartbeat before but I just had hope. They didn't find the heartbeat and they made sure over and over and over again that there was no heartbeat. The baby did not get any bigger from the last time we had seen it either. I had our daughter with us, It wasn't until I got in the car that I started bawling and my daughter didn't know what was going on and she started bawling too and then I called my mother-in-law and I told her what had happened and I told my mom when it happened and I drove myself home. When I had gotten my composure I called the doctor and I scheduled the D&C. I too felt the same way at first with the D&C but they explained it to me very well. Now 2 months after that or less than 2 months. After that my husband worked for a mom and pop shop where they worked on car parts and cars and stuff and they were having a Christmas party. Now to preface this. I am a Christian but we didn't have a church family and we still don't have a church family yet. But we also live somewhere else now and I didn't really have many friends or friends that kept me company or that were as sweet as yours. Anyways, the Christmas party his boss had an open tab everywhere we went which was just a hibachi grill and a bowling alley. So I had two drinks at the hibachi grill and then I had like eight at the bowling alley and I had no idea that I had 8. I had two girls egging me on one being my sister-in-law which she's still a great person and she was drinking too. Another thing about me is I only drink maybe once a week and it's only usually one or two drinks no more than that. But I also didn't realize that I was going through postpartum depression after all that and I didn't know that you could go through postpartum depression with a miscarriage. I'm sorry I didn't break this up into paragraphs. I did feel amazing that the first thing my son saw when he opened his eyes was the face of Jesus and that made me feel so good inside because I do know the Lord. One day i will see him again. I just let things get the best of me and I didn't get help when I needed it. Flash Forward to 2020, when we found out that during covid I was pregnant and in December we decided to announce it. By then we were 3 months pregnant and we were all super sick with covid. I was so afraid that I was going to lose our sweet little rainbow baby. He was born 2021 in July on the 22nd. He's the sweetest little boy. The Lord knew that I needed this sweet little boy and he's going to be 3. I'm sorry about my long-winded paragraph. I guess you could say cuz it's not separated. I love you all and I'm so glad that you guys have this podcast.
I am so sorry for your loss of a child, Tory. Tory mentioned guardian angel and I definitely believe God can comfort us in many ways in times of happiness and sorrow with a guardian angel or spirit guide(s). You are both so special and I love watching your podcast. Sending hugs!!
I appreciate your openness on this topic. I do urge you to re-evaluate your views on abortion. The big difference of you being in that room is that you WANTED that baby. People who get abortions all have their own different reasons, but a large majority DONT want that baby. Its not a baby to them, its a clump of cells or a parasite. It's not just r*pe or inc*st that should be brought up as an excuse, think of financial reasons, cost of living is going up and can you afford to move or rent a larger space. Children cost over 100K each. I would be an awful parent right now. If I happen to fall pregnant, where both birth control measures we use fail, then I will have to make that dreadful decision. So I choose me over a clump of cells.
What a disgusting remark! If you can't "afford" a child, don't have sex or give it up for adoption. And if my grandmother (who very sadly was raped) chose an abortion, I wouldn't have had THEE BEST father a girl with a disability could have ever asked for!
This was a beautiful inspiration to so many. Love that y’all have God first in your family. This will touch many. Please ignore the negativity that will come in comments ❤❤
I am with Tori, I will still believe my fur babies will be waiting for me in heaven. I love you both and respect both opinions and even if I have selected to deceive myself, for me it is a happy deception that brings me peace
I’m so sorry you guys went through that! I absolutely love that you talked about how God & your church got you through it! Praise the Lord!! More of Jesus talk!
I appreciate you being willing to say your convictions and beliefs. It's refreshing. It feels like it's often only the people that are viewed as extreme will express more conservative values.
On my second daughter’s 2nd birthday, I was rushed to the hospital as I was miscarrying my baby at 14 weeks. After reviewing an ultrasound, it was determined that it was required to perform a D&C to remove the remaining parts of the baby that hadn’t expelled. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable to tell your story that gives hope to other women. Those little ones that never got take a breath this side of heaven are enjoying the eternal presence of our Savior Jesus.
Zach is very reasonable and respectable guy and his takes on abortion for some reason really sharply deviate from that. "This is MY opinion, this is how I Feel, This is the Moral high ground" No no no. You take all of that and you do Exactly as you say. That's for YOU. I don't know why he's suddenly trying to impose what he believes onto others. Other people are not his business. Other people's bodies are Not his business. THAT is the celebration. Not "oh let's go get drunk and have sex and have no consequences". Really obtuse there
I say this with no malice toward any one …
From a legal standpoint- a D&C is considered an abortive measure.
Which means in states where abortion has been essentially banned - this exact procedure (D&C to remove the fetal tissue remaining after a miscarriage) would not be allowed for MOST women until their life is at stake.
Women who want to have kids, are losing the ability to have children over people’s inability to recognize that this MEDICAL PROCEDURE is important and valid healthcare for many women.
Y’all can rational your viewpoint on this all you want.
The fact remains that medically and legally, a D&C is an abortion.
Perhaps remember that when your senator, representative, pastor, etc demonizes abortion.
not true at all
I’m post menopausal and was diagnosed with polyps and was offered a D&C to remove abnormal tissue. To me this is the same as having a D&C after a miscarriage and in no way are either of these D&C’s abortions.
Sara?starship. Rubbish. How long have you been on this earth? I hope you gather some maturity very soon and stop this shocking misinformation. Disgusting!
@@arianakefuit is true, I had an ectopic pregnancy my notes read surgical abortion.
@@kimfluck6558agree, Only my opinion But D&C isn't 🚫 abortion 😉💭 it saves your life Many times 😮😢❣️
In 1970, I suffered a partial miscarriage because of the law I wasn’t eligible for a D&C. I was sent home without treatment. For six weeks I passed a copious amount blood and tissue to the point that I became terribly anemic from the lack of healthcare I should have received. ( Yes, I did go back to my doctor to ask for treatment and was sent home again without any help). It was a one of the worst experiences of my life. Sadly, in 1974 I suffered another miscarriage, because of the laws has changed in the state I was living in at the time I received a D & C immediately. I can’t tell how greatly appreciative I was to receive the care I deserved. No woman should be denied routine health care. In 1975, I became pregnant again. With the proper hormone treatment and bed rest for 4 months we finally were blessed with a beautiful baby. P.S. We also adopted two children, which comes with lots of love and a host of trials and tribulations. Please be thankful you received the healthcare you deserved, just as all women should receive.
Thank you for sharing Judy and you should not have had to go through that pain if you had the received the appropriate care. This is why it’s so important we fight for women’s health care.
@@judyblakely7450 in 1973 I delivered a baby boy at 5 months. They called it a miscarriage but we had to name him and bury him. I didn’t have a d&c and bled for weeks. Five years later we decided to have a baby. Tried for 10 years with all kinds of infertility workup…pills, charts, operations etc. then we decided to adopt. They both were newborns. We now have two beautiful daughters who are in their 30s. Our goal was babies and we got them. I felt my story was similar to yours…
@@sweetieroses❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
@@judyblakely7450 so so sorry that’s just our bull to put you through that hugs 🤗
I’ve lost 3 of my 4 children. First was a 5 month miscarriage, second was a full term stillbirth, third was a son age 27. I will meet them again in heaven. I don’t dwell on it, I have peace. You don’t get over grief, you get thru it.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That is a very tough hand you’ve been dealt. I pray for peace for you.
So sorry
So sorry for such losses. That is beyond more than anyone should have to endure. Prayers, best wishes to you and your loved ones.
I’m so sorry for your losses 🙏🏼
Omg so sorry to hear your story. Heartbreaking. I had two miscarriages very early on in the pregnancy. Glad you have peace with it all. I have two wonderful great girls and feel so blessed to have them in my life. So many say I want a girl or a boy I said I want a healthy baby and thankful they r healthy.
As a Catholic, I’m pro choice. Many do not use abortion as “birth control”. Many have to have it done for medical or financial reasons, and this very controversial view is harmful by saying it’s not healthcare and that it’s an excuse to escape responsibility. I respectfully disagree with your opinions.
Financial reasons are not healthcare.
@@janetbirky1626 oh but it can be. Healthcare costs money. It’s never free. That’s why many other commenters have said this issue is not simply a black and white scenario.
I am also Catholic, and tend to be more pro-choice, although I don’t think I could ever have had an abortion myself. That being said, I have to say that I have had several friends who have had abortions over the years, and every one of them had nothing to do with medical or financial reasons. They simply were irresponsible (did not use protection) and yes, they used abortion as a form of birth control. A couple of them have had multiple abortions.
I'm Catholic & pro-choice too. While abortion is not for me, there are so many scary situations women find themselves in where sex is not consensual
How can you say you’re Catholic and not agree with the written word of God. We’re supposed to hate what God hates and abstain from all evil. The Bible says that God hates hands that shed innocent blood.
I think the reason why there's vitriol is because, women ALL feel that way in that surgery room. No one takes being in that room lightly. The circumstances behind it might have a million different reasons. Some you may agree with and some you may not. But it isn't up to us to choose for someone else what is right. Respectfully, God is the one who is the ultimate judge of sinners. So let him do his job & support your fellow women with love and compassion because we ALL walk our own path, and have to make the best decisions we can for ourselves. ❤ Thankyou for sharing your story. These stories are so important.
Beautifully worded. It should be between the patient and the doctor. Not the minister, pope, judges, elected officials, etc.
I personally respect everyone’s opinion…I think where things get fuzzy for society is when we afflict our personal opinions on others and use them to influence legislation for the masses. Just my thoughts. Thanks for sharing your story.
@@sjames5777 We must speak up for the innocent children that have no voice.
Well said. It should be between a woman and doctor, not politicians
Whether or not I agree with your beliefs entirely, I still watched the broadcast. I respect your views and appreciate what you had to talk about today! Keep up the good work
I respect it too, but just because they believe that doesn’t mean we have to. I think everybody should respect everybody’s believes and it should be the woman’s choice not the governments.
One of the many problems with the national conversation is the part where politicians are wanting to tell YOUR doctor that YOU should not have been able to have the D&C after your baby was already lost. We the people need to refuse to allow politicians to attempt to practice medicine! Please share your story anytime, anywhere!!!
Financial reasons are not healthcare.
D&C/D&E is NOT abortion. An abortion uses extra steps a regular miscarriage D&C DOES NOT.
That’s a lie !
You have a miscarriage and your doctor won’t let you get a D&C
That’s totally misinformation. Did that happen to you? You need a new doctor if that happen to you. But I think you just talking story
This is a lie that the abortion industry is spreading. A d&c for a miscarriage is not that same as an abortion and is not being denied my medical professionals.
@@janetbirky1626Still my decision, not Governments.
I love your testimony on your miscarriage. I lost a pregnancy early on and felt like i wasnt valid in mourning at that point. I had known a few people who had still births or late miscarriages and i had only known i was pregnant for a few weeks. I also had 4 healthy kiddos and we were not trying for the 5th pregnancy. I struggled for over a year before i allowed myself to grieve. And like you, it really brought the idea of abortion to a clearer light for me because i heard so many times "its not a baby, its a fetus" it completely invalidated the CHILD i was mourning. Such a blessing to hear stories like your own.
Tori, I’m so sorry about your miscarriage. Thank you for sharing your story here. I wish you more healing and nothing but the best ❤️🩹
That said, I encourage you to do more research and consider more points of view on the abortion issue. It’s easy to say “I would never choose abortion” when both of you have strong support systems, are in a loving marriage, and aren’t hurting financially. I’d encourage you to look up the RUclips channel “Soft White Underbelly” and listen to some of these people’s stories. Some people are homeless, come from chaotic households with absent parents, are drug addicted, etc. and are definitely not in a position to bring a baby into the world. Many people aren’t educated on what a real respectful relationship looks like, how to know when they’re being sexually abused, what their contraception options are and how to use them, etc. This isn’t even to mention abortion for medical necessity - look up the stories of the women who are part of the Zurawski v. Texas lawsuit.
Abortion should be a woman’s last resort, but it should still be on the table. Even if you don’t change your mind on the policy I hope that you realize the wide breadth of situations that women who make that choice might be in.
I have watched your podcast from the beginning and I watched the show big big fan. I just would like to offer my perspective when it comes to the abortion topic. I too am a believer. I too wish people would make better choices however, I guess I would hope with your platform That maybe there would be more grace for people and their choices. I don’t think women who come to the conclusion that abortion is the only option that that’s an easy choice. And we as believers need to be there for people who have had an abortion or who are thinking of having an abortion to be that person for them if they need it. Also I believe that churches and believers need to step up whether that’s becoming foster parents adoptive parents mentors. We all quickly want to give our opinions, but we don’t necessarily want to offer alternative solutions unless they align with us and so I would just say to you with love and grace that, not every abortion is a contraceptive solution. I hope this all makes sense. Peace and love and I’ll continue watching.
I'm going to share something that I rarely share... I was 13 when a gorgeous older man started grooming me. I fell in "LOVE" and was 14 the first time. I became pregnant and he took me to one of those clinics. I'm grateful that he did though because I didn't have support my mother had left years ago. To me, it IS healthcare SOMETIMES. xoxo
Completely agree. And comparing having sex to driving drunk is ridiculous. One is illegal. One is not.
And there are many, many more people having abortions for reasons such as yours. But we don't always know those numbers because it is often not reported. So people assume that the majority of abortions are performed simply because it is the easy way out of the "consequence".
Sort of a slippery slope they went down....and I'm a little disappointed.
I feel like it is OK to be pro-life for yourself, but the choice HAS to be there. Period.
❤❤❤❤ sending you love
Healthcare always
Choice. Always a woman’s right to choose!
Choose is always women’s right to choose!!
This is why abortion laws are important because it over looks issues like this. This is healthcare.
What state has a law that says you can't get a D&C? That is not an abortion. The healthcare industry needs to change that so it isn't so confusing but as far as I know, every state that has passed a heartbeat law still allows D&C.
In Canada we never talk about abortion - it's not an issue because it is legal. Canadians have their beliefs one way or the other which is perfectly fine and most people respect that fact that it is none of their business what others are doing. People don't talk about it because it's a personal matter that doesn't warrant the input of anyone other than the mother and her doctor. I don't understand why people want to put their beliefs on people they don't know and have no idea about their situations. It's truly bizarre that this subject takes up so much of everyone's energy. Oh and our universal healthcare system even pays for it!
You forgot to say the abortion rate is significantly lower than in America too.
@@kimmcnaughton5420 It takes up so much energy because it’s murder.
@@jck6920 and when the fetus has died and a woman isn't able to get a D&C? What do you call that? Maybe that is murder when she goes septic and her life is at risk or her fertility is compromised. We call it women's healthcare and luckily it's not up for debate in Canada
I disagree with you. Iam a very pro-life Canadian. I talk about it because Iam the child of rape; the date rape drug. I don't believe in abortion even in cases of rape. My daughter is 19; she completely agrees with me.
@@jck6920you are wacko. Murder , lol get real
The choice is individual. You wanted your baby feom the beginning. Someone else might not have wanted it ever. So the decision is easier to make. Also, it is health care because you were able to abort your deceased fetus for your health!!! That's the definition of health care!
She did not abort her already dead fetus. An abortion kills a living being, by definition. A D&C is preformed to remove the child who died of natural causes but it is not an abortion. An abortion intentionally ends the life of a living being in the womb. I’m so sick of this argument. It’s so misleading and full of absolute lies to perpetuate this idea of the pro-abortion movement.
She’s lucky she was able to have that procedure because she could have been in a state that would need to see PUS before they would give her the procedure.
I stand with you guys! Unpopular opinions are hard but stand in the truth of Gods word!!! A person is a person, no matter how small.
yes, we must stand for life, especially as we go into this election cycle. neither of the candidates are as pro-life as they should be. I would highly consider you to check out actually pro-life presidential candidates like Randall Terry, Peter Sonski, Terrisa Bukovinac, and Joe Manchin.
I had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks and because it happened right after an appointment, I carried the baby several weeks not knowing he was gone. I had gotten bloated and started getting sick. I didn’t have an option and had a D&C pretty quickly. It was difficult, because they didn’t allow my husband to stay with me and treated me like it was an abortion, which made it very traumatic. I had 4 miscarriages total and the last 3 were trying to have our last baby 16 years after our 2nd. God told me to keep going because He had a plan and I needed to trust it.
We were blessed with our miracle baby and now he’s 17 and still at home. Our other children are adults. We lost their father in 2021 and having my miracle baby has been such a blessing during this difficult time.
I wanna say that in my life, I’ve learned some key things and I’m Christian. My beautiful mother taught me to pray for people. She showed me that if you judge the arrow will be turned back to you. If you were blessed enough to have the white picket fence and all the blessings from the beginning count yourself blessed but we don’t know what people are going through behind closed doors Prayer for hurting women that are thinking of having abortions or had abortions. May God love those women.
God always loves us, but he never loves the sin.
@@pamelac.5600I’m not disagreeing on the sin part but they should have recognized that compassion towards women is better than judgement… because not all of these women would do it if they got help instead of judgement. But the love of God forgives sinners and through faith in Jesus we can live blessed and join him in Glory for eternity
A D&C and an abortion are the same surgical procedure. So sorry for your loss. I too had a miscarriage at home and had an abortion in 1983.
This was such a touchy subject for some that may not have figured out how to come to grips with having a miscarriage and you all both did a great job sharing.
Tori if u lived in one of the many states that have passed laws preventing abortions which includes performing this procedure(D&C Dilation and curettage ) after a miscarriage and a doctor afraid of being criminally prosecuted and their medical license revoked would not have given you the choice , your loss and trauma would of been greater. Because now u could be at risk of sepsis ,probably not being able to have ur 3rd child even worse cause ur death! Most likely your view on having the right to choose would be different . I’m also a Christian married and have had 2 healthy children who r adults now. Never have I had the situation or a miscarriage to have had to make this choice and for me I would not have an elective abortion not in my belief system and what I’ve been taught in my Christian Catholic teachings. Or who knows if I would of been in a bad situation what my choices would of been…Yes this is ur channel and u have the right to share what u believe in, but u both have more influence in the masses. I think the big problem in society is trying to impose our beliefs on others whether intentional or not. Women should have the right to choose what is best for their bodies, not the government!!! This issue should have been kept between the patient,(woman or all parties involved , God (conscience,beliefs) , and the doctor. Oh well most likely this topic will continue to be controversial as long as humans keep trying to be GOD!!! Judge and condemn women for wanting the right to choose. I firmly believe Jesus Christ would be more forgiving and he did give us the free will right? ‘So at the end of it all is between God and me (all humans individually with Him) on judgement day ‘.. anyways , I also think heaven has a place for every kind of animal why would God ask Noah to build the ark and bring every kind of animal on to it Genesis 6:13-9:29. I really hope you both step back and reconsider what u have shared in regards to having a choice , not ur beliefs of course . I love watching ur content but on this one I have to disagree 😕
Totally agree!
100% agree
Where on earth do you live?
Not at all true. To have to remove a dead baby from a miscarriage is still different and is understood. This is not at all true! It's not a true abortion.
I love you guys and how you interact and share good and bad in life's journey. You are not only inspiring but it is refreshing to see you both grow along the way, especially Zach and his comfort level on air. You are raw and inviting and look forward to more. Have a wonderful vacation and good luck to Josiah and prayers for a full and quick recovery.
I have to differ on dogs not being children. I never had kids. I had my baby who passed away in my arms 2 weeks ago. She was my child. I am truly sorry for your loss.
❤❤❤
I can definitely relate to "that room" and the negative feelings about it. Having had a miscarriage and D&C following, although it was many years ago, I'm still traumatized from "that room". I can remember having to walk in on my own power and wanting to turn and run. I can remember waking in the recovery room and asking the nurse what time it was. When she answered and that's when I knew what was left of my baby was gone now. I burst out in tears. That sweet nurse, I never knew her name, but to this day I remember her face and her wiping away my tears. She gently consoled me. I was so grateful for her.
I'm thankful that Zack said what he did about consequences, because that is what I have felt. The choice is when you sleep with someone.
I'm so happy you guys are so understanding. I didn't used to be, but then I was assaulted. And following that, I thought I was pregnant. Luckily I wasn't, but I remember doing so much research on different options because I knew that I couldn't deliver that baby. I'm religious, but in that moment, I remember blaming myself for the incident and wondering what people would think, what my family would think. That was all 5 years ago, and I've done a lot of growing since then. So now I'm indifferent to abortion, I think it's definitely the right option for some people
As a Christian and an ultrasound tech, very well said. Absolutely agree with your comments on the abortion issues right now. A D&C and an elective abortion are absolutely two different things. When I get an ER or L&D order for possible miscarriage or no fetal heart tones my heart drops a little and I feel so relieved when I see the heart beating. But in those moments when for some reason the pregnancy is not meant to be, I am there for the patient and their family for a hug or for a cry. I had a patient ask me once if it was her fault? It is not your fault, for some reason the pregnancy was not meant to be and you will see your child in heaven. Keep up the good work!
A D&C is a procedure to evacuate the contents of the uterus, whether used for elective abortion or to remove remains after a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage)
@@Hollyhusky14 ♥️♥️♥️
I’m a NICU nurse. I’ve seen babies born addicted to drugs, no prenatal care, and the parents never come back for them. It breaks my heart, is nurses are the only ones in the world caring for them in those moments. Most of the time we have a very hard time finding a foster family for them and they will be affected for their whole life from their mom’s choices during pregnancy. These babies don’t have a normal life or a normal family. They are not wanted. That’s the difference between you getting a d&c and these mothers.
so true and so sad. that just goes to show the society where we live in where children are sacrificing for their parents instead of the other way around. it's evil and corrupt
I really like that you guys are not political. I’m glad you are in a loving relationship with lots of support and money. It’s sad that you are not seeing that everyone has their own situation. So to say the MAJORITY people who get elective abortions are because they were drinking and had one night stands…😮😮😮 judging others is not very Christian of you…stick to other topics.
Exactly! Thank you for saying what I was thinking. I was scrolling through the comments and was a bit shocked by many of them and that no one pointed this out. I am so sad that she went through that but sitting in that room and thinking about how awful she felt the whole time made her beliefs more black and white??… instead of thinking that many other women have their own situations and no matter what, that decision would be hard for any woman to make and is not typically taken lightly. The fact that they could chop it all up to people needing to take accountability for their drunken nights/decisions as their takeaway was wild!
This comment says it all. I love watching them but this topic is risky.
Is this now a Christian only channel?
They literally just took a political stand. Abortion is 1000% a political stance these days. When elected officials are regulating woman’s bodies, NOT MEN, that’s political.
@@yvonnediaz3486 o but they are political.
A zealot could also argue that if you know your body cannot carry a baby to term and yet you keep trying. Isn't that a sin? Your choosing to let another child die inside of your weak womb. In effect aborting your child without the actual medical intervention. This issue is very layered and individual. That's why we need to be able to make our own decision as to what we choose for our bodies
I found this at the right time. I am only 17 and me and my boyfriend lost a baby this year she had Alobar Holoprosencephaly and lived only 3 months. Then right after she died I found out I was pregnant and had a miscarriage. This year has been so hard.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
Excellent episode! Appreciate your vulnerability and honesty! So many of us have experienced miscarriages and it's important to be a support to other women going through that loss!❤
❤❤❤ Hugs 🤗, Agree 😉💭💯❣️
Since you don’t know what people are going through, please have a little compassion for people whose pets are the ONLY family they have, and their loss is beyond agonizing 😢
I have to agree on this one. I couldn't have children, i'm 60 now, but when i was young and trying to have children it was the hardest time of my life. I do understand that a human and an animal are different, but my fur babies, became my children and any time i have lost one of them, was very traumatic for me.
My heart goes out to the many women who would choose to give birth but find themselves in impossible circumstances. Most women would never choose abortion, and agonize over their decision. Every circumstance is different, and no one should speak for everyone. We need to love each other, support each other, and allow women to make difficult choices with medical, family, and non judgemental support.
@@sharongreen2163 If most women would never choose abortion, how can there be millions of babies aborted in just a few decades? It's become too common, and heartbreakingly acceptable. Our society needs to commit to finding solutions for these mothers and fathers that don't involve rejecting the child. But we must speak for those innocent children that cannot speak for themselves.
All i have to say is it's a personal choice for sure. My feeling is if you are young, naive , have had no parental guidance and probably a million other scenarios, and you make that decision, thats one thing, but if someone is using it as a form of contraception, and doesn't learn after the first time, there should never be a second time. If it is a scenario such as Tori's case, this is about being taking care of your body, when that baby unfortunately is already gone.
@suefromtorontoon5517 I don't think you realize that you're saying if a woman or girl is raped and impregnated more than once, shame on her. It's her own fault. That's just one example of a hypothetical situation a girl or woman can find herself in. Worse yet, I've heard this story too many times, also involving incest.
@@andanotherthing... i'm not talking about rape or incest, which in my opinion are the same thing. Of course i would expect a women to have a choice in these situations.
This is only one example. My point is that it isn't up to you to judge others' decisions. @@suefromtorontoon5517
Proud of you guys for standing up for what’s right despite the fact that you knew you would get backlash!
yesss!!!
It is right for them, not necessarily everyone else in the world.
Thank you for sharing and being so open. Also thank you for being so open about your faith.
💯
I love your channel and family but this video upset me greatly. Tori I’m sorry for the loss you and Zach went through. You can have the opinion you believe for yourself but that shouldn’t effect others ability to be able to have an abortion. I do used to think this way til I opened my eyes to realizing there are so many scenarios beyond what most know. One you mentioned being rape but there’s abusive relationships, financial hardships, homelessness, addictions, and one simply not being able to care for a child or just not wanting a child in general. I want to have kids some day but that’s not the case for everyone. Forcing someone that doesn’t want a child to go through and have them can cause the child to be in family where he or she isn’t wanted and not get the same care. There’s also people with disabilities (both physical or mental) where they dont have the ability to care for a baby. Drinking drunk which isn’t legal and someone having sex and getting pregnant isn’t the same. I understand for you that you don’t want an abortion and couldn’t understand why someone would but be lucky that you don’t have to experience that feeling. It’s not as simple as “well yo I decided to have sex and this is the natural outcome”. People use birth control and still can become pregnant. This is really sad that both of you think this way. I understand that the both of you don’t want an abortion but your thoughts shouldn’t then be able to change that choice for someone else
Also to add to what Zach said, animals are most definitely in heaven. How dare you say that to your wife who loves her dog. I’m sorry if my significant other said that about my fur baby I’d seriously consider otherwise. God made all the animals why wouldn’t they be in heaven? We humans are no more superior then dogs who have more compassion then most
Murdering babies? This video “upset you” ? I love Zach and Tori!! Thanks for your stance for LIFE!!
Be upset…sex IS the choice like it or not
@@stephaniem4565 yes but not all the time, there are cases where people are raped, drugged, or abused and can’t get out of the relationship or into safety. Abortion should be illegal, nobody should be able to have control over someone else’s body
@@sonjazook3542 it did because it showed a different side of their character, it’s not murdering babies, everyone should have the choice as there are different circumstances
The only thing I can say about Abortion is there are sooo many different reasons women/teens do this. Yes it’s very hard to think about but until you’re in others shoes?? Just saying b
Iam pro-life! Iam the child of rape! Did I deserve to me murdered for the sins of my father???
To quote Sister Joan Chittister, but the fact remains that people will not care for those children, and they will be abused and unloved. So it is not enough to be pro birth, making them have the baby is not going to make them want/love that child. Then what. There needs to be more resources, shelters, funding, and support for those unwanted children. I am pro life not just pro birth.
I think that Tori saying that abortion became black and white to her in that room is a rather odd take. I would think it would have been a moment for more understanding. No woman wants to have an abortion. Her saying because they wanted that baby so much is their experience and isn't the case in most circumstances for those choosing to abort and thats not their situation anyhow. Oof at the take of it being a matter of not wanting to take responsibility. My take is it is a matter of just that, responsibilitiy of not being able to provide for that will be baby and any other very valid reasons. No child should be brought into this world unwanted. Very judgemental for a "child of Chirst" IMHO. They have a family member who was sexually assaulted, what if they were female and became pregnant. It's not as rare as those against abortion make it out to be, and to put it so lightly as Zach did was a bit gross.
Other than that I have enjoyed their content, agree to disagree. Advocate for better access to affordable birth control and education.
Agree… and to say a person “made the choice to have sex so need to accept the consequence” I think is an unfair judgement coming from people who are privileged enough to come from supportive families and have good mental health. Some people come from abusive/neglectful households, suffer poor mental health, use drugs/alcohol to cope when they have no one else to turn to…and yeah, seek comfort from people (they probably shouldn’t)..have sex, get pregnant…can’t support a child when they can hardly support themselves (the father is likely not suitable for the job either) and an abortion is the best choice. Of course they don’t WANT that, but it’s an act of love/maturity rather than bring a human into the world who is going to struggle/not have all their needs met.
@@Just-JaciAbsolutely. It's easy to see where their opinions stem from and I'd say most is as you stated coming from privilege. Pair it with religion as well as lack of education on the matter.
Responsible before sex, everyone knows sex can mostly bring a baby in the world so responsible is requuired.
With you on this one. Some people would disagree with her dnc bc they’d say, leave it in god’s hands… that’s where this will go if abortion is fully banned and women’s healthcare rights are taken away.
@@jacxbr39right, some of those who also see abortion as black and white want to jail women for miscarriage and/or don't see the difference between a D&C and abortion.
There are plenty of reasons women seek an abortion. Reducing it to "if you have sex, live with the consequences" is so dismissive. So much for accepting others and being kind.
Thanks for opening up and being vulnerable to share your journey through miscarriage. I can relate and was encouraged with much of what you said, and I also appreciate how you shared how through your loss you grew in your understanding and viewpoint on abortion and what it does to a live unborn child. Looking forward to more content from your podcast.
This channel is your story and your opinions… thank you for sharing! 🙏❤️
Wow...I so appreciate this episode! I already appreciated you and Zach as it was, but I really appreciated your raw feelings and the importance of reaching out to your people during a time like this and that God can and will help you through something like this. Our first baby died in a miscarriage, and I did go through the miscarriage process at home. It is true labor for sure, and it was heart wrenching. We had dealt with infertility before that too, so it was truly agonizing. And we didn't know if it would ever happen. About a year later, we thought we had another miscarriage, but it was a false positive. So after that, my husband and I had to give up our dream of having children to God to make our family of two (our marriage) more important than our desires. And we dedicated ourselves to trusting in God's wisdom over our desires. And then when we had done that....3 months later He blessed us with conceiving our son and even though I was more afraid throughout the pregnancy, he was okay and it was an easy pregnancy til the end . And then a few years later, He blessed us with our daughter. It's been 12 years since our loss, and I remember the day we saw no heartbeat and found out and remember that whole experience. But I also have gratitude for God's help through it all. And He can handle our hurts and pains and even questions. I am proud of you for also speaking up against abortion and showing the truth of that. Abortion IS NOT healthcare! A man's view is just as important as a woman's! Thank you, Zach, for sharing that! Many blessings to you and your family!!
I'm so sorry for your loss!
100% agree with Tori- dogs ARE in heaven- they have spirits too.
I don't want to be in a heaven with no animals, that isn't heaven to me. One of the best episodes of the original Twilight Zone had that mantra. The old man and his dog, one of the only not creepy but strangely tear jerker episodes.
I was going to add that it wouldn’t be heaven without animals to me. Maybe that would be hell? 🙃
I agree with your feelings. However, keep in mind that the abortion laws passed in some states outlaw the procedure Tori had as well. They will NOT do the procedure UNTIL the woman is septic. Please reconsider your stance. Tori matters to Zack and the children. She may not have survived to bring Josiah into the world. Not everything is black and white.
Which state is that?
@@ChosenAbundanceFarm are you kidding?
That's not true at all
I have read abortion laws. NOT TRUE! D&C for MEDICAL reasons is NOT banned in any state.
is the True
Glad I read the comments before watching. Not sure I will at this point.
I had to dip out about half way through
I have a little brother or sister that my mom lost to miscarriage so I'm really thankful for y'all's willingness to share your story. I also appreciate y'all's bravery on sharing your prolife position! 😊
16 States have banned D&Cs unless they are medically necessary. As such, court intervention is required to get this procedure even in the case of miscarriage. If Zach and Tori lived in: TX, ID, ND, SD, OK, MO, AR, LA, IN, KY, TX, MS, AL, WV, SC or FL they would likely not have been able to get a D&C and Tori would have had to miscarry at home.
I am not an advocate for abortion as contraception. In fact I don't think anyone thinks that's a good thing. But people make the assumption that America is full of loose women who are aborting babies for fun. How do we know that? How do we know how many cases of rape, incest or physical or emotional issues are causing abortions? We don't. We're demonizing women without knowing their stories and that is wrong.
I would be in support of a panel of women of any party talking directly to a woman seeking an abortion. I believe every woman would the compassion necessary to hear a woman's story and determine if the abortion is an appropriate solution. But to think that politicians or judges should be the ones who determine if Tori has to bleed out her miscarried child at home. That just seems so cruel and wrong. That can't be what women are seeking. There must be a better way.
Also note: There are 600,000 abortions per year in the US. There are over 1 million miscarriages in the US each year. There are 350,000 reported rapes in the US per year, with all stats saying the actual rape rate is likely 2-3 times higher than that number. How do we know what those 600,000 women were dealing with when they got an abortion? Shouldn't we be focused on getting that story from women BEFORE we decide to ban medical procedures.
Live in texas know someone that just had one. It wasn't a life or death moment it was a if you don't pass the baby with this time frame this is what we should do. I haven't ask her if it was a you cant do it, right now when she found out.
Thank you for being so open about such a rough moment in your life.
Speaking of god, When my dad passed, my first thought was he's with god , it actually felt good knowing that. Also I was happy he finally got to see his parents for first time in 40 years. I picture them all partying in heaven.
Not everyone chooses to have sex….
Atleast you had the choice on how to proceed medically in your situation.
All life is precious ❤ I have had a lot of kids, but lost one and I still mourn the one I lost. I also know one day I’ll hold them in my arms. Thank you for talking about this ❤❤
My first miscarriage was devastating. My babies heart stopped beating. My doctor was so amazing. He kept searching for the heart beat and gave me time and also allowed time for my family to arrive at the hospital before I had to have surgery. It was a really difficult time. I was born with some congenital issues which made it difficult to have children. But I have two amazing sons. I feel truly blessed to have them. But that pain I can remember it like it was yesterday.
I had a miscarriage last December. I had to go to the ER to confirm it and the documentation called it a “spontaneous abortion.” That term was so hard and traumatizing because we were so hopeful for that baby and it was the day before my birthday.
Thank you guys for having the controversial conversation! So needed in this moment! Tori, I had an ectopic pregnancy, and my tube burst. Still can’t talk about it without emotion. 5 years in and still trying. Super hard season, but God is faithful. Thank you guys. ❤
Love you guys ❤ yalls honesty is so refreshing in our current society!
Thank you for sharing. I have a lot of respect for you doing this. We don't always have to agree, but respect each others opinions. Hopefully this discussion will help others. Enjoy your break! Your podcast is very interesting.
Thank you for this Tori and Zach. My mom miscarried between me and my brother over 50 years ago. We knew that it happened but she never talked about it. Hearing this gave me insight into something my mom and dad went through. They’re both gone now, but this gave me more connection to them than ever before. Thank you.
"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, educated, housed. Every child deserves to be born into love & stability. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."
- Sister Joan Chittister/Benedictine Nun, Author & Speaker
Yes! Love Sr Joan!
I totally understand your feelings. At 21 I had a tubular pregnancy. I lost one tube so my chances of becoming pregnant lessened. At 36 I was blessed to be pregnant. Unfortunately I woke one morning bleeding. The doctor did a DNC to clean me out to prevent infection. Unfortunately I was never able to get pregnant again. For whatever reason God did not bring motherhood to my life. At times I can get sad, yet I know I will see my babies in heaven. My faith has kept me joyful, grateful and loved. Congratulations on your rainbow baby Josiah. I absolutely love all of your kids. Keeping you and family in prayers. ❤
@@sandracarpenter144 I'm sorry for your loss. 🙏
My eldest son and and his wife sadly lost more than one pregnancy. With the last pregnancy, at approx 4 mnths? a scan showed very clearly that this little life was not viable and had no chance at life. I dare anybody to try to tell me, as this little ones Nana, that this woman should not go through the procedure to end this pregnancy, to stop any risk of infection to this young woman and risk her own life.
Think, just for a moment.
I get the point Zach is trying to make regarding consequences and abortion. I think you also really have to consider though that the child that’s born will now have to suffer the lifelong consequences of who their parents are and that they maybe didn’t want them. Not everyone gets to have parents that can love and support them well.
Exactly. You may be able to force a woman to have the baby but you can’t force her to love , nurture and sacrifice for that baby its whole life and put that child first always .
You guys are great ! Keep voicing your opinions and don’t be afraid of the haters . I love that you took a stance on this platform ❤
As a man, I cannot begin to imagine the pain of a miscarriage for the female and I'm sure there is also great grief for her partner. Understand if the MAGAot'verse returns to power, all women who have miscarriages will have to be reported by their doctors. The women will then be investigated to see what type of lifestyle they lived, did they do anything injurious to the baby, did they purposefully try to induce an abortion somehow? The compounding of harm upon the mother, who is justifiably fragile, is unimaginable. This should be between the parents and their doctor, the government has no business being involved. Additionally, the MAGAots want to eliminate contraception and IVF (which is really mind blowing since these supposed Christians want more babies). I am sure this discussion, by two of the most level headed young adults that I've seen, will be comforting to many who have had this experience and some wise guidance for those currently going through it. Well done.
Do better research. Don’t believe what you hear/watch on tv.
At least now, women have some support when having a miscarriage. When I was that age, it was like, well, something was wrong with the fetus. Let it go. Depending on the state you live in now D&C is no longer available because even if the fetus does not have a heart beat. They give pills and send the woman home. So unfair. People make choices that fit where they are in life. Many, many reasons woman get abortions.
Same thing happened to me - it was a horrendous experience and choice to make. I still relive it today and it was over 30 years ago, that you for talking about it. It's so hard to explain and everyone expected me to 'bounce' back from it immediately and was even told by my mom to 'get over it' 😢 hard for me to talk about it to this day 💔
Ugh. Wrong thing to say by your mom. You just don't get over it. Sorry for your loss. Hugs across the miles. Grieve as long as you need to.
I have had 4 miscarriages and it took me 11 years to have a full-term pregnancy. Those were some of the hardest times. We are so blessed to have 2 wonderful children now.
I ❤ this episode. I had a loss due to miscarriage. I have 5 healthy children and 6 grandchildren. My miscarriage was hard. I ❤ and commend you both for putting out your thoughts on abortion. I wish more people would speak about it. I had 3 children people tried to talk to me about abortion, one I was 18, one was diagnosed with a heart problem, and one was when I was pregnant at 42. All my children are prefectly healthy. Children are a blessing.God has a plan for everyone. I ❤ your videos and your family. Have a wonderful trip.
Thank you for sharing your story! Abortion (the killing of a baby in the womb) is the greatest evil in modern history. A D and C after miscarriage is NOT the intentional killing of a child and is NOT illegal in any state in the United States. Just wanted to set the record straight on that! Some of the comments on here are false! I plan to begin listening to your podcast all because of the truth that Tori and Zach share in this episode. Each child is a blessing and worthy of life!❤
exactly!!!
There are women who have miscarried and are not able to have the D&C procedure due to state laws. Look it up. There are plenty of women’s stories out there. They will not touch them u til they are infected. Educate yourself. It’s state based.
Thank you for sharing
I have lost 2 babies and your story really brought me back to that place. Sharing this to other women is very important! My first miscarriage brought me to a place where I hardly could cope. Jesus lead me to share to a lady who had just lost her twins. I could share with her that I had also lost a baby and a year later had my son. God leads us in such amazing ways. Sharing with other woman is what God has called us to do when we have gone through such a tragedy. Bless you both
We had 2 children a daughter & a Son, they both disowned us, & because of it, our daughter won't let us enjoy time with her kids our grandchildren. It hurts, big time. We're old now my Husband is age 63, & I'm age 66 going on 67 in November. - love you 2 a lot, pray for you 2 all the time. - Debbie & Mike on Highland Lick Rd in Lewisburg, KY
Never apologize for your views. Much love from a long time fan. Blessings
I am a 60+ y/o woman who never had an abortion but had the safe and legal procedure available to me during the entirety of my reproductive years. What frustrates me about this debate is the black and white approach to it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but please do not talk as though you can know what it's like to be in some else's shoes. Not everyone is raised by a loving, supportive family. Not everyone was raised with Christian values that guide them. Not everyone has access to healthcare. Not everyone has a safety net, family, financial or otherwise. Not everyone will have a place to live if they announce to their parents that they are pregnant, etc., etc., etc. In other words, not everyone has the same advantages or life experience as those condemning abortion as a choice. Many women and girls seeking abortions do not simply make the decision to "go get drunk and have sex" as Zach states with confidence. Children who are sexually abused often seek out sex as a way to connect to others because that is how their brains are wired as a result of the abuse. Women who were not provided the necessary love and affection from their caregivers during childhood may become sexually active in order to feel affirmed and loved. I know a woman whose father beat her and her siblings with regularity. She had three abortions and decided to follow through with her final pregnancy. That child never had a chance. He grew up in a chaotic household filled with alcohol, drugs and abuse. Consequently he is an alcoholic drug abuser, spent several years in juvenile detention and now is a criminal who is in and out of prison. So it's not always a happy ending when a woman chooses not to abort her pregnancy. And it's no one else's business, especially not the government's, first and foremost.
I had the same experience at 12 weeks with my 5th pregnancy. My body didn't show any signs my baby had passed and had to go in for the D&C. My 3rd pregnancy was lost very early, probably at 4 weeks. I had an IUD and got pregnant anyway and caused the miscarriage. The one thing I remember hearing after that last miscarriage is "there was probably something wrong with the baby anyway" or "better to lose it now than later or have a still born" . These were all things I knew logically, but emotionally not what I needed to hear at that time. I wanted to mourn my baby and I felt like people were guilting me into not feeling that. I know that was not their intention, it was meant to comfort, but it really didn't. We do and should mourn no matter when we experience that loss. I did give birth to 4 healthy sons though and feel very very blessed.
You guys are just awesome. Keep doing what you are doing. You are shining the Light!
I have always wanted kids, but i never found anyone that wanted me for me and wanted to have a life long relationship with me, now I am almost 50 and it is something that will not happen for me. I am so glad you guys found each other and have the wonderful family you have.
❤
Its not okay for you.. its not for you to decide for everyone else. Period!
My mom's first baby passed away from the flu at 6 weeks old. That stuck with both of my parents for their entire lives. But they went on to raise 6 kids but before and after she has me (At age 44 by then) she had two miscarriages, They always stuck with my parents. I'm glad you can open up about it.
One of my favorite phrases when I am going through hard things is "Come what may and love it". We need to even love the hard things because we grow and learn so much by going through trials. We can learn to appreciate our trials and love our Heavenly Father because He gives them to us.
So very sorry about your loss.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your faith!
I’m sorry for your loss🙏🏾. Thank you for sharing your story.
That is your choice but a woman is in charge of her own body .
If someone else is raped (even by a family member ) you want them to have that trauma ? Talk about trauma of being raped
I just wish people would avoid pregnancy in the first place then not a choice to make.
We are not to judge God will !
I worked inOB in a very low income scary area young girls came in because of a family member taking over their body! One was 13 and it was horrible !!!!
I am a huge advocate for the right to choose and just as Important free and easy access to birth control. Just began watching and if your comment means to say they have negative viewpoints on the matter I'll be disappointed as I've enjoyed their content thus far. Seeing as how one of their own family members dealt with SA and very young no less, what if they were female and became pregnant and what their take would be.
@@Mrs.Self.Distruct. They’ve had some disturbing (to me) comments about reproductive choices when it comes to IVF.
@@jenniferjohnson9589oh that's right I forgot about the IVF things that were said. I just got to the hot take part and made a comment that those on the opposing side probably won't like lol. Disappointing at their take though not too surprised. The only thing I found strange is how her opinion about abortion changed to black and white after she had a D&C, I'd think that would have had a less judgemental and more understanding lean but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@Mrs.Self.Distruct What I find so ironic is that, less than 100 years ago in the US, they would not have been allowed to marry, much less reproduce, and their children would have been considered the product of a criminal act. Forced sterilization was still being practiced in some states in the US up until the 1970s and is still practiced in certain parts of the world today. If anyone should be empathetic to the heartbreaking decisions and struggles where reproductive issues and rights are concerned, it should be them. They’re offended that would anyone would second guess their right to bring children into this world, yet here they are judging other people’s choices. This breaks my heart.
You need to understand how often sex is NOT a choice. You have absolutely no clue in your sweet protected lives with supportive families how awful some men can be to young girls and women. To FORCE abused little girls and women to have babies from their dads, uncles, mom's boyfriends, etc is inhumane. Full stop. Jesus teaches us to have compassion for everyone, not just unborn children.
Thank you for sharing. I honestly can’t imagine. As a women who has not gotten to experience pregnancy I’m saddened for this loss. I’m so thankful for two women at has chosen life.I have the honor to parent the kids they at the time were not able to. God is so amazing how he uses situations for his glory.
My son and his wife suffered a miscarriage. Later he shared a conversation with me that he had with his wife. There were three were in this situation (him, wife, unborn child). His thought was simple. What if the baby changed its mind and was not ready to join their family? No blame on wife, no blame on husband, no blame on baby. Baby just changed their mind. My reaction was, Why not? How many times have we made plans to travel, to move, to buy a car, MAJOR things. And the timing was not right for us, and we changed our mind. I prefer this overall sentiment as opposed to the doctor saying it was this or that. A loss to you of course, but no blame, no shame!! love you guys
Tory, I also had a miscarriage with my second pregnancy & saying that having your baby seeing God first if it couldn’t be you makes me comforted for my baby too. I’m Christian & never thought of it that way. So thank you for saying it. You have a beautiful soul and family.
I refuse to believe that my fur babies will not cross that rainbow bridge and welcome me along with my Mom, Dad and Brother.
Amen! It's not mentioned in the bible at all, so zack saying they arent in heaven is only his opinion!
Thank you for sharing!! This is so relatable to me! I ended up misscarying (for the second time within a 6month time frame) twins at 12 weeks in April and ended up having to do the d&c. It has been hard to overcome. But seeing the word abortion on the medical forms crushed me. I would never choose that for myself. I pray God gives me kids and its in my plan. Tori that was a great mindset! Thanks again for sharing
My wife and I just went through a miscarriage 6/26 and we lost our twins. almost 13 weeks and 6 days. Thank you for posting this 💓
❤❤❤❤❤I'm sorry for your loss ❤❤❤❤❤
Sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss. Blessings, prayers, and best wishes to you. What a hard thing to go through.
So sorry, May you be comforted with time
I had a miscarriage back in 2019. I was 9 and 1/2 weeks pregnant. It was so hard it was our second baby, we had went on vacation prior to that and just told both of our families that we were pregnant with our second child and our daughter, she was like two. She was super excited. After our vacation I had an appointment with the doctor because they weren't able to find the heartbeat before but I just had hope. They didn't find the heartbeat and they made sure over and over and over again that there was no heartbeat. The baby did not get any bigger from the last time we had seen it either. I had our daughter with us, It wasn't until I got in the car that I started bawling and my daughter didn't know what was going on and she started bawling too and then I called my mother-in-law and I told her what had happened and I told my mom when it happened and I drove myself home. When I had gotten my composure I called the doctor and I scheduled the D&C. I too felt the same way at first with the D&C but they explained it to me very well. Now 2 months after that or less than 2 months. After that my husband worked for a mom and pop shop where they worked on car parts and cars and stuff and they were having a Christmas party. Now to preface this. I am a Christian but we didn't have a church family and we still don't have a church family yet. But we also live somewhere else now and I didn't really have many friends or friends that kept me company or that were as sweet as yours. Anyways, the Christmas party his boss had an open tab everywhere we went which was just a hibachi grill and a bowling alley. So I had two drinks at the hibachi grill and then I had like eight at the bowling alley and I had no idea that I had 8. I had two girls egging me on one being my sister-in-law which she's still a great person and she was drinking too. Another thing about me is I only drink maybe once a week and it's only usually one or two drinks no more than that. But I also didn't realize that I was going through postpartum depression after all that and I didn't know that you could go through postpartum depression with a miscarriage. I'm sorry I didn't break this up into paragraphs. I did feel amazing that the first thing my son saw when he opened his eyes was the face of Jesus and that made me feel so good inside because I do know the Lord. One day i will see him again. I just let things get the best of me and I didn't get help when I needed it. Flash Forward to 2020, when we found out that during covid I was pregnant and in December we decided to announce it. By then we were 3 months pregnant and we were all super sick with covid. I was so afraid that I was going to lose our sweet little rainbow baby. He was born 2021 in July on the 22nd. He's the sweetest little boy. The Lord knew that I needed this sweet little boy and he's going to be 3.
I'm sorry about my long-winded paragraph. I guess you could say cuz it's not separated. I love you all and I'm so glad that you guys have this podcast.
I am so sorry for your loss of a child, Tory. Tory mentioned guardian angel and I definitely believe God can comfort us in many ways in times of happiness and sorrow with a guardian angel or spirit guide(s). You are both so special and I love watching your podcast. Sending hugs!!
I Samuel 1. Hannah prayed for a child for many years. God gave her Samuel, who she gave to the Lord to serve in the temple.
One of the most beautiful prayers ever!
I appreciate your openness on this topic. I do urge you to re-evaluate your views on abortion.
The big difference of you being in that room is that you WANTED that baby. People who get abortions all have their own different reasons, but a large majority DONT want that baby. Its not a baby to them, its a clump of cells or a parasite.
It's not just r*pe or inc*st that should be brought up as an excuse, think of financial reasons, cost of living is going up and can you afford to move or rent a larger space. Children cost over 100K each.
I would be an awful parent right now. If I happen to fall pregnant, where both birth control measures we use fail, then I will have to make that dreadful decision. So I choose me over a clump of cells.
What a disgusting remark! If you can't "afford" a child, don't have sex or give it up for adoption. And if my grandmother (who very sadly was raped) chose an abortion, I wouldn't have had THEE BEST father a girl with a disability could have ever asked for!
This was a beautiful inspiration to so many. Love that y’all have God first in your family. This will touch many. Please ignore the negativity that will come in comments ❤❤
I am with Tori, I will still believe my fur babies will be waiting for me in heaven. I love you both and respect both opinions and even if I have selected to deceive myself, for me it is a happy deception that brings me peace
I’m so sorry you guys went through that! I absolutely love that you talked about how God & your church got you through it! Praise the Lord!! More of Jesus talk!
My daughter had two miscarriages, so sad, but she has had one child, be thankful for my granddaughter.
I appreciate you being willing to say your convictions and beliefs. It's refreshing. It feels like it's often only the people that are viewed as extreme will express more conservative values.
On my second daughter’s 2nd birthday, I was rushed to the hospital as I was miscarrying my baby at 14 weeks. After reviewing an ultrasound, it was determined that it was required to perform a D&C to remove the remaining parts of the baby that hadn’t expelled.
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable to tell your story that gives hope to other women. Those little ones that never got take a breath this side of heaven are enjoying the eternal presence of our Savior Jesus.
Thank you for speaking out and sharing your story! There’s so many people out there that agree with you- me being one of them!
Zach is very reasonable and respectable guy and his takes on abortion for some reason really sharply deviate from that. "This is MY opinion, this is how I Feel, This is the Moral high ground"
No no no. You take all of that and you do Exactly as you say. That's for YOU. I don't know why he's suddenly trying to impose what he believes onto others. Other people are not his business. Other people's bodies are Not his business. THAT is the celebration. Not "oh let's go get drunk and have sex and have no consequences". Really obtuse there