$100M CEO: "Why therapists failed me..." [language warning]
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- Опубликовано: 7 дек 2021
- Want to SCALE your business? Go here: acquisition.com
Want to START a business? Go here: skool.com/games
If you’re new to my channel, my name is Alex Hormozi. I’m the founder and managing partner of Acquisition.com. It’s a family office, which is just a formal way of saying we invest our own money into companies. Our 10 portfolio companies bring in over $200,000,000+ per year. Our ownership stake varies between 20% and 100% of them. Given this is a YT channel, and anyone can claim anything, I’ll give you some stuff you can google to verify below.
How I got here…
21: Graduated Vanderbilt in 3 years Magna Cum Laude, and took a fancy consulting job.
23 yrs old: Left my fancy consulting job to start a business (a gym).
24 yrs old: Opened 5 gym locations.
26 yrs old: Closed down 6th gym. Lost everything.
26 yrs old: Got back to launching gyms (launched 33). Then, lost everything for a 2nd time.
26 yrs old: In desperation, started licensing model as a hail mary. It worked.
27 yrs old: "Gym Launch" does $3M profit the next 6 months. Then $17M profit next 12 months.
28 yrs old: Started Prestige Labs. $20M the first year.
29 yrs old: Launched ALAN, a software company for agencies to work leads for customers. Scaled to $1.7mmo within 6 months.
31 yrs old: Sold 75% of UseAlan to a strategic buyer in an all stock deal.
31 yrs old: Sold 66% of Gym Launch & Prestige Labs at $46.2M valuation in all-cash deal to American Pacific Group. (you can google it)
31 yrs old: Started our family office Acquisition.com. We invest and scale companies using the $42M in distributions we had taken + the cash from the $46.2M exit.
32 yrs old: Started making free content showing how we grow companies to make real business education accessible to everyone (and) to attract business owners to invest or scale their businesses.
34 yrs old: I became co-owner of Skool.com to help the many people who want to start a business online do so.
Today: Our portfolio now does $200M/yr between 10 companies. The largest doing $100M/yr the smallest doing $5M per year. Our ownership varies between 20% and 100% ownership of the companies. Many of them we invested in early and helped grow (which is how we make our money - not youtube videos).
To all the gladiators in the arena, we’re all in the middle of writing our own stories. The worse the monsters, the more epic the story.
You either get an epic outcome or an epic story. Both mean you win.
Keep crushing. May your desires be greater than your obstacles.
Never quit,
Alex
FULL DISCLOSURE
I make content to make money - just - on a longer time horizon than most. I want to build trust with business owners so we can find the best ones and help them scale. And if they’re awesome, write them a check and go all the way as partners.
whoever is holding him hostage keep it up, advice getting better n better
This comment should get a like from Alex😂
Now it has :)
Is he being kept in a closet?
Ha!
@@AlexHormozi Mission accomplished ✅ Great vid man
The modern philosopher Alan Watts referred to this as “the backwards law” which is “the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place."
Yes
The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves. Alan Watts.
The Japanese Zen master, Dōgen Zenji, said that paradoxes are universal truths.
The Backwards Law described by Watts sounds exactly like a universal truth.
EDIT:
I think it was Shunryu Suzuki who said it, another Zen master who founded the San Francisco Zen center.
How is this dude only 31, yet has the knowledge of the most professional salespeople, therapists, dietists, athletes, filosofers,… combined together??
Amazing dude
Wey, se dice "philosophers" no es como el español.
@@juanzavala9023 gracias amigo
@@Movato no hay pedo compa. Suerte con dominando el ingles.
@@Gumbo_Calm he learned from the best of the bests, he directly learned from Dan Kennedy
Because he’s honest and has actual experience , everyone else is fake and hasn’t done anything substantial
Alex, I just remembered a conversation I had with a psychologist at a medical professionals party a few decades ago. He had a few drinks, and was apparently feeling useless, and wanted to tell me so ... in his own way. This is how it went.
He said something like, do you know what the statistics are regarding people who consult psychologists? I said, no.
He said, approximately 1/3 get better, 1/3 stay the same, and 1/3 get worse.
He then said, do you know what the statistics are regarding people who don't consult psychologists? I said, no.
He said, approximately 1/3 get better, 1/3 stay the same, and 1/3 get worse.
Then he said, ... basically, we are useless!
Damn….
He's not wrong but not right, 1/3rd of them need their help to get better, 1/3rd are too stubborn to change how they are and wont even consider trying to help themselves, and 1/3rd, as alex mentioned in his story, bring up something that they pushed down so far that it stopped effecting them, but then starts to again. Or they are too mentally weak or unstable to face the fact that what they do, to themselves, is the issue.
BUT without a psycologists help, the 1/3rd that might need their help probably only get worse because they dont know how to sort their own issues out, the stubborn ones dont change or maybe "get better" because they dont have someone basically attacking their entire personality, and those that are too mentally weak probably only get worse because they dont understand that they are the error of their ways.
In the end its people that go to therapy that probably didnt want to go in the first place. Or maybe didnt need to
Try science!
They don't make money by getting rid of their customers
cause the DSM gets debunked again and again, these days predominanyly with ImmaterialAI for free
Due to bad childhood I have always struggled with different psychological issues. I had done therapy, I have tried working on it, reading about it, obsessing on trauma healing and different kinds of therapy. And funny enough the only times when my life was just real good, was when I was so deep into working on something I loved, that everything else disappeared. The more talking I did the more power it had over my life. The more I forgot about it, and live my life like I want now, my life gets better.
Purpose helps us 🎉
YES, Alex. This is EXACTLY what made my one good therapist so effective: He taught me there's no such thing as "negative" emotions, only tools- so don't try to be happy all the time. He taught me to THANK my fear, pain, & traumatic reactions for keeping me safe & serving a purpose. I learned not to give my (lack of) happiness that much meaning & then became happy
Dude changed my life. Thanks for posting your thoughts
Which therapist?
True optimism isn't "hoping for the best", it's understanding that whatever happens, you can handle it.
And for that you need competence.
Yes. Optimism is trust in ability, not blind faith in good luck scenarios. If you are "optimistic" but don't have the abilities to put your trust in, you're just ignorant and will get blown around in life like a leaf in a storm.
About 7 years ago I decided to get off heroin. When I was clean for about ten weeks I told a buddy of mine hoping for some validation, he scoffed and said only 10 weeks. I continued my out patient treatment and decided to stop counting the days because it was giving power to my addiction and shame. So I agree with this. Still sober btw
My mother was a therapist for 20 years. Now she is retired and still trying to resolve her child trauma... Its a never ending process that make you feel miserable in the end.
I have met a lot of her colleagues and they are not more happy than other people. Probably worse.
Interesting
My personal experience, when I was a hairdresser, is that my therapist clients were by far the craziest. They were really uptight about every hair on their head being perfect….just odd, atypical behavior. Then my best friend became a therapist and now she is weird - she completely changed after learning her ‘craft.’ She’s not happy anymore, she gets triggered easily and is not the easy going person she used to be.
@@kittyfaria there are some amazing therapists. I had one hypnotize me over zoom. Ultimately too many focus on people has having a flawed identity like a stain that can’t be scraped out. The best therapists empower the person to take their power from their abuser and move on. You are not intently flawed. You just have flawed thinking which can be corrected.
@@Tania-rg7jp what does hypnotizing do? Could it help me? I have been feeling really bad for like half a year now after the first day of university because my mind keeps thinking about bad thoughts like the future or what im gonna do when im alone. Before that first university day i could play games all day or work all day or do nothing and my mind was clear and i dont know what happened to me.
Psychologist and psychiatrist and psychotherapist are scam.
I needed this, literally watched this at the time when I was feeling extremely weak and it helped me move on with my day. Thank you, please keep producing
I have watched many of your videos and never commented, but this one hit home so hard it deserves one. This method is exactly how I overcame my own anxiety, my own alcoholism. I finally just refused to give it power, said bring it on, f it, I don't care. Instantly, and I mean instantly the anxiety was gone. No anxiety meant no need to drink it away. We are only powerless when we give the power away.
I have been having similar ideas but this just opened the curtains to the full idea. This was honestly so helpful, thank you.
Every now and then you come across a life changing video.. this is one of those videos. You have no idea how much this helps. Thank you Alex.
Every time he says he’s going to piss someone off I know it’s going to be valuable and I need to hear it.
I know this is a old video, but wow thank you. I went through one of the toughest times in my life right now and during my self improvement journey I seen so many people talk about therapy and how everything is from your childhood, etc etc. This stuff is just getting annoying now. Why are people keep telling themselves they are broken and something is wrong with them?
What helped me a lot was a realization that life is a struggle and I can enjoy struggle. The largest issue is that you try eliminate struggle which creates even more struggle. The best thing is I feel bad about it, and I want to feel bad about it with full of my body, I want to feel miserable and than it disappears. What you will find out that negative emotion does not have any meaning if you are not blocking them.
I have an affirmation which I remind myself every day: "I want to feel negative emotions". And interestingly enough more I try to feel them I feel them less.
My ex wife is a therapist and this is 100% accurate
I am a therapist... and I actually agree with you. I will say that human beings are complex, so what works for one person may not work as well for another however what you're talking about here is a powerful approach and will work for many people. I think sometimes going into the past (the story) has limited effect as they're still the outcome of that story; instead, working with the here and now, for many people, can be more useful. Having a tool like 'Fuck Happiness' is a defusion technique that will allow you to step back from the issue and to recognise that it is actually just a thought you're having and not necessarily your reality.
thanks for sharing
I think it’s less about solving the “anxiety”. You look at the past, understand how the anxiety causes “shame” and then hammer into not feeling the shame.
@@MrKneetoface1 Correct, that would be disassociation. You're stepping away (or in your terms, "hammering into not feeling") from that old past feeling by recognising that you are NOT THAT NOW.
@@LawrenceAkers is disassociation a long term strategy? It’s obvious Alex has been on the fast track to success.
Burying trauma will only get you so far!
Disassociating from trauma can put time between you and it but, it will not solve the stress and pain of those traumatic experiences.
If anything it will magnify them once they resurface after 5-10-15 years down the road
@@vlogcity1111 Nowhere in my response did I talk about 'burying trauma'. In fact, quite the opposite. Many people will spend their time avoiding or pushing away the trauma. Instead, I've suggesting that you recognise it there, but also recognise that it is a thought that is triggering a physiological response (mind-body connection). That isn't burying it - it is changing the relationship you have to it.
So glad I subscribed to you. Thank you for taking the time out to teach!
Thank you so much! This was great and I totally agree. I have a coworker who was put through remembering very hard situations by her therapist and I always thought how is this helping? And I have always believed many of the points you were making but learned a lot more from this video. Thank you so much for always being a gift of wisdom :)
100% agree, and to add onto that: all these voices and memories are trying to convince you, the listener/ awareness, to give them meaning. When you over identify with these voices, you then start to act them out.
I cannot begin to describe how much I needed this and how much I value what you're putting out here for someone like myself who can't pay to get into the rooms these things are normally shared in, means to me. Thank you.
I love it. "Fuck Happiness" is actually a spiritual attitude. To stop fighting misery and suffering. And just live your life. It's one of the most important insights anyone can have. Great video :-)
Focus on MEANING. Happiness is fleeting. Meaning there in the good and hard times.
agree!! very spiritual. spirituality is about reality
I just found you like two weeks ago and I’ve prob watched 6+ of your videos so far and each time I end up saying “damn I love this guy!”
A lot of your points are so true, for the experiences I’ve had with being an entrepreneur and going through getting anxiety randomly at the age of 26.
Spot on though I love it! The reinforcement aspect and trying to change things didn’t do shit for me. For anxiety or happiness. You need to just shift your focus and basically not give it any power at all! Awesome video 💯
On point as usual. The AA thing of constantly reinforcing a negative identity that “I AM an alcoholic” drives me nuts. I know the program helps a lot of people but that part of it is insane to me. It’s like the military saying of “ we revert to the level of our training”. We also revert to the level of our identity. So make sure you’re reinforcing a positive one folks!
I think there is a lack of context. Most people are ashamed of being an alcoholic so they deny it. But this makes things worse. So saying "I AM an alcoholic" gives them huge power. There is no shame, there is power to stand for who they are. Downplaying would never work in this case. Like saying "I am an alcoholic, so what?"
Just my opinion after researching the topic a lot.
@@SAMALBRA I believe he's talking about the ongoing meetings and always coming back to the fact you are an alcoholic etc. Making it an identifier in your life. That is more of what I think Kevin is talking about.
@@emekaossai5485 well, this might be true. Didn't even know they come back to this all the time. Thanks man!
There are some who identify as a recovered alcoholic.
@@SAMALBRA in AA meetings they famously open every meeting with a newcomer or new members as "hi I'm (first name only) and I'm an alcoholic."
But it's not meant to be disempowering like Alex describes it but an important first step in diagnosing/ acknowledging your situation so you can start solving it. The therapy concept of "you gotta name it to tame it."
It's meant to help the person with their awareness of the problem. So they can then go about solving it.
ALWAYS A PLEASURE WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS ALEX! Thanks so much.
Alex, this video is probably one of the most immediately gratifying videos you've made. I've been struggling with reliving bad memories lately, this technique is simple yet has been immediately effective at nullifying them within ~a week of practicing it. Every time I start remembering a bad moment, I just hold the thought in my head, confront it, think "This isn't relevant right now" and then go on about my day. Within a few days of practice they would just flash into my head and immediately dip away as if my subconscious had already learned that those thoughts were not worthy of attention. This shit has helped me so much in such a short period of time, it's incredible. Thank you!
This is my 3rd time coming back to this video over the last 2 years. So good. Just move forward and dominate.
Exactly... when you embrace your shadow self, it loses its power over you, and other people cannot use it to make you feel in any way. In other words, nobody can control you, not even your own irrational mind and all that is left is your rational thinking
Hey Alex just wanna say thank you. As a handicapped guy who spends way to much time alone your videos have been very helpful. Ha I don’t think I could’ve handled them a few years ago but I’m on a positive path forward now so I can take it lol. I’m 9 months into a 10 year plan to fix my bilaterally crushed feet and 9 months into my 2.5 year plan to fix the ulnar nerve damage in my right arm. I’ve learned a ton from all the best trainers and I’m never gonna quit. Thank you for your positive and actionable videos bro ❤️
Thank you for your time. It is greatly appreciated. You are so refreshing.
I’m not sure how you have come on to my radar but I’ve been watching your content non stop for the last 2 week and it’s helping me sooooo much in so many areas of my life.
This is a killer bit of perspective.
Really appreciate you!
“Shame only exists in darkness” EXCELLENT philosophy!! Great video!! Thank you!
This worked for me as well. In early 20s I tried many things to fix my mood, then one day I surrendered, and my mood over the course of weeks improved dramatically. What happened? I stopped fighting with myself. Not only I realized that I was my enemy, but also that my enemy only showed up to fight when I showed up to fight it. Aside from that it only occasionally whispered.
I am paraphrasing but one catchy stoic comeback to criticism is "What else you heard about me?"
Thank you Alex! Keep the videos coming! You’re helping so many people! I’m already seeing results in my life.
This is the most helping RUclips video I've ever seen on this platform, thank you🙏🏽
Alex, I think you've just changed my life today. I've struggled with severe, limiting anxiety my whole life. I've also struggled with therapists who are very expensive and never truly seem to help. I was already aware of a study that showed that talking about trauma can be just as traumatic as the initial event itself and I have subsequently stopped talking about past events as a way to 'process' them. It confirmed what I've always felt - it does not help.
My most recent therapist had been focusing on methods of how I can defuse/de-escalate a feeling of panic when it arises. A lot of grounding, using visual imagery, that kind of thing. It worked as a band-aid when I was in acute need, but as we worked forward I asked her for next steps - how to stop the anxiety from arising all together? How to quell it's power? She had no further tools to suggest and I stopped seeing her as I felt she had nothing left to offer.
This video is that final piece I've been wondering about. Given free, in 15 minutes. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
as Rosalia's song goes "Everybody's free to feel good"
😅😊😅😊😊t
How's life going for you now?
This is called Excessive potential. You drop the importance level of your desires, and you immediately get in flow state and make things easier to resolve.
Great video.
This is likely the best and most powerful RUclips video I’ve seen out of the 1,000s I’ve seen. So I must comment and I never ever do. Must RE watch and apply this daily. Thank you, Alex!!
I have been bingeing your videos since I found your channel!!! I just want to say thank you so very much I look forward to the journey of life and using an applying the lessons I'm learning! 💯💯💯💯💯
I don’t think I’ve seen you bring the heat like this before. As someone who has a tendency to get social anxiety, this makes a lot of sense
Thanks for sharing your experience, Alex! I believe many people would find this relatable 👍
That was a great one!!
Thank you for your videos. You are helping me immensely!
The best advice I didn't know I needed. Thanks, Mozi.
with the greatest of respect, Alex has described a really useful approach to mental health issues - but ironically, it is actually akin to ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) - a psychological treatment approach used by many psychologists and psychiatrists in particular. Those wanting to explore this approach further may consider the book, The Happiness Trap, which is a good resource which Alex may have read, and may have alluded to during this clip. There is a place for therapy for many people suffering with anxiety and other mental health issues, but patients need to be discerning consumers, and if therapy isnt helping, discuss with the therapist, and / or find someone else.
That's right. The part of not giving into your thoughts and just answering "and?" it's essentially cognitive defusion.
ive tried 6 therapists
Yes, this is accurate. I had anxiety many years ago and meds messed me up more. Ended up getting up, getting busy and quit giving it power.
this single video is gonna change the rest of the course of my life, thanks alex
Wow this is so true. Just remember that you give energy to particular thought patterns! Love this
Excellent as always Alex! I feel we have a lot of common traits and maybe that's why I enjoy this content so much
This has been one of, if not THE, best videos you've dropped so far, Alex. I hope you see this: thank you.
I dropped out of medical school a few years back. I studied Neuroscience in Undergrad, went to Medical School to pursue Psychiatry, and your take is where I ultimately landed. (BTW - my leaving med resonates deeply with your quitting your job story, a convo for another time perhaps) All that being said, my view was obviously not met with agreement in my circles - it's part of why I left (among other things). And I've struggled with esteem issues, severe depression, addiction, trauma, Yada Yada. For my family's sake, I had tried therapy for almost a year after dropping out. But this past summer, I quit because I realized just how much power I was giving up by putting myself through that. It literally just cemented some of the shameful constructs more and I FELT IT. I'm in a different space now, and still "dealing with my shit" on my own, and you have no idea, how EMPOWERING it is, to see a successful individual (and I don't even mean financially, just generally) validate my stance. I think I had been gaslighting myself into thinking my attitude on this was wrong. I concur with your hot take. I appreciate your sharing. And to everyone else, let's keep at it. We have the strength to build ourselves and the lives we want.
Cheers
Hey Alex, Im back. Its been a while since watching your videos. They've helped me alot, not just in the business world but emotionally as well. You're one of the only people I know that can lay these things out in such a literal and real way that it really helps for people like me to digest. Love you man. Props on your second book.
I really needed this. Thank you!
My main takeaway in this video is that I need to share the amount of bowel movements I have per day with my team. I will get on this starting tomorrow and keep you updated
So?
@@NowioFel they enjoyed the updates !
Still enjoying the updates?
All my years of meditation & studying Buddhism and this one video explains non-attachement’s benefits better than anything else I’ve come across. Beautiful.
Excellent sharing. Thanks Alex for giving voice to what many of us are going through.
it's interesting because my depressive symptoms only really started to get better once I kept reminding myself that depression is just thinking about the past, I have no control over the past therefore those thoughts are irrelevant, and so in a way, I have been using your method of just not giving power to it and thinking about it less, which I feel has helped a ton.
Alex, if you read this, I'm sorry you had such terrible counselors. That sucks. A lot of what you say here is true.
One of the central things you shared reminded me of what a lot of the Vietnam vets used to tell their fellow vets after the war. One would tell a traumatic experience to the other, and the other's reply was often, "it don't mean nothin." I never heard someone tell me that experience was helpful. Conversely, there was Vietnam vet I was privileged to get to know closely. He told me, all the vets who got to share their story 3 times, with 3 different people, generally got better.
Most people I've ever worked with have found that if they are truly heard and let it settle out-- without attaching a particular meaning to it, just "putting it in the light" as you put it, with safe and caring people, it is enough to resolve it. Unfortunately, lots of people don't have that family or friend group that's comfortable walking through it with them, which is where I often come in as a therapist.
I appreciate that you've found a different, unconventional way that worked for you. I hope it can help others, too. I know that your content on sales has definitely helped me streamline some thought processes for myself. So thank you for putting all this content out here for free. It's super valuable.
I even realized this morning how similar my approach is as a counselor to what you do in marketing and sales. Your video with the CLOSER acronym has so many parallels to my work, it's uncanny. Motivational Interviewing by Miller and Rollnick is right up that alley and every counselor I know who practices those principles is successful in helping lots of people.
Your point?
I really appreciate all the knowledge you put out there.
Thank you for this video!
This is literally the subtle art of not giving a f*ck in 15 mins.
Also this is like mindfulness, the art of practicing non judgmental awareness, which would actually be a more helpful tactic than to not think about something. BC you can't "not think about something". But you *can* think about something non judgementally
You can stop thinking about something by doing something, right?
@@amaccoop34 sure, but by actively attempting to not think about something therefore almost becomes the same as thinking about it, no? If I thought, im not going to think of this thing, by doing that ive put that thought into the back of my mind and shoved it away, allowing to to resurface, meaning I need alot of willpower to continue that cycle, eventually hoping to just rid of it completely. That can work for a lot of people, but by being able to change the framework of your mindset, even when thinking of that thing, you can have it hold no power over you. but again one thing that works doesnt work for everyone.
This content is like no other, this justify why this guy is a True G.
Alex man, thank you for this video! Added lots of value to my thought process! Appreciate you!
This is such an interesting perspective. Probably one of the best videos on RUclips.
I have been a subscriber for about a year, love your channel, so appreciate your intention and effort. Thank you. That said, I disagree with your approach on this one. Therapy doesn't need more stigma. For a lot of situations, it's extremely healthy and useful. I saved my marriage through therapy and learned some really awesome communication strategies that no one else taught me in my whole life. Don't discount the value of therapy, for some issues. Also, don't overthink, to Alex's point. Do the things that will improve your life. Sometimes the work is in therapy. Imho 🙏
You and your wife didn't undergo "therapy", you underwent communication coaching so you could talk to each other more efficiently and effectively, something you could have learned without a therapist.
@@blumpkinexcalibur7523 incorrect. We did couple's therapy and respectively each individual therapy with the same licensed therapist. Yes, we could have learned those strategies and have been hosted in productive conversation by someone with those skills who was not a licensed therapist, but the same could be said of most skills a therapist teaches you. In this case, therapy (and the role of the therapist) was critical to the success of our relationship.
@@jeremypiles1787 Very much value in this comment. I agree with alex in this video, because i really identify myself with his problems and journey. But what works for you works for you. You should probably have said: AND :)
@@arnja_com6745 thanks for your thoughts, also. 🙂. Best wishes in your life.
Can this man get a round of applause? That's all I can say as a person that feels this way and tries to live it... but damn if society doesn't make it hard to embrace it.
Thank you so much!!
That is so so so so true. the way that I worked my way out of my depression and low self esteem issues was to stop thinking of and labelling myself as a depressed person. It was actually Eckhart Tolle saying let go of your story that really helped me start to move forward. Thank you.
I figured this out naturally just because of my general attitude in life... People need to focus on fixing problems instead of avoiding problems, focus on things you can control instead of things you can't.
Wow!!! I agree 1000%! We all know that the more energy you put into anything will increase BUT we always needed to hear it AGAIN and AGAIN! Why!?!? Lol just gotta stop it! 🙌🏽🤣 Thanks Alex!!!
hey man thank you very much, helped me a lot
I know my "issues" have been getting worse bc of the shame and embarrassment. No matter how long I go without it, it comes back bc it's always in the back of my mind. Whoa. Thank you for making these videos. You really are changing lives!
Love this, it’s what the book reality transurfing talks about, it calls it pendulums, and it feeds on attention it’s doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative, both makes the pendulum (thought/meaning) grow the same. That book changed my life, I really recommend it! It’s great Alex figured it out by himself!
just finished reading that book & I was thinking the exact same thing. good onya mate
@@jackkhoury98 hormozi read the book, in Stephan gram podcast he used the term “excess potential” and that’s when I knew he read it
You think he uses transurfing?
Therapist here. Certainly a lot of BS in the field. I think you’re describing stoicism and possibly radical acceptance, both of which inform current, popular therapy modalities. These won’t work too well for kiddos with complex trauma though (usually from truly unimaginable situations). What you were describing reminds me of an interview with Alan Arkin, where he describes still feeling unhappy after many years of psychoanalytic therapy and then coming in contact with an Indian guru who really seemed to be fully awake and in the moment - and happy. He told his analyst “I want that“ and he was pretty much like, “yeah, we don’t do that here.”
This is very interesting insight. A was a complex trauma patient and was failed by therapy many times. Finding people like Alex have helped me more than anyone I’ve worked with.
Not that I don’t believe good assistance doesn’t exist, but you can only try so often.
beautifully put Alex, thank you for sharing this
overthinking has been my biggest problem so far, this video really helped. Thanks!
Your past doesn't matter. Define the person you must become in order to achieve your goals, and then decide to become that person. Decide to change fast and irreversible. No therapy is needed. All it takes is a decision and stay true to that decision.
This is easier said than done and it's very subjective. This might work for you but there are people that suffer from trauma and can only get past it and move on by looking into the past with the help of a therapist.
It's important to keep that in mind because I've seen this many times and as someone needing therapy words like "it's a choice" make me and surely others too feel like it's our own fault - when clearly it's not. Just putting this thought out there
@@kaycee8323 thank you Kat to put color in my black and white opinion 😊
@@KlaasVictor thank you for being open for experiences of others :)
I love your content Alex. How do you apply this to addiction though? If an addict just says “fuck alcohol, this fear is irrelevant” then won’t they just keep drinking without thinking about what they’re doing?
If they have the power to to say fuck it and stop then great. Otherwise you would need to look at the hidden pull or what they are avoiding
This is not where I thought you were going with the topic of self-talk and offense. Thank you for sharing your ideas, experience, and success!
thanks for sharing such valuable contents here!
If you keep talking to other people about your problems like they're a thing, they remain a thing.
You talk to a therapist about your problems, he's going to try and treat you like you have problems.
Interesting timing. I've recently been thinking about hiring a therapist to help me break through some mental blocks, but I'm not convinced that most of them could help me achieve what I want to achieve (been there with a handful of them already).
Do you think that a specialized therapist, attention coach, or similar would yield different results?
(Ik you sometimes mention your attention coach being beneficial for you.)
same here I think more of a performance coach who understands how to blend, spirituality, psychology, brain chemistry, nutrition and fitness is what most people need and would benefit from...
That is exactly why I developed a coaching practice called Self Mastery.
It’s a powerful combination of performance, self awareness, emotional resourcing, acceptance, action, and fulfillment feedback.
It has been transformational for so many because it focuses on results.
100% Alex! Appreciate you bro🤙
Great video. As an anxiety coach I agree with ALOT of what you’re saying. I would add a few things but you’re on the money.. the resistance to what is (anxiety etc) is a big issue. Most therapies try fighting, altering & changing anxiety.. I’ve seen very few people heal that way
Alex,
I'm a student of the unconscious mind and study timeline therapy. Therapy isn't about fixing character traits because you're not broken. I LOVE the angle you take here, AND believe that releasing your childhood baggage can be one of the most empowering things you could do. I would love to offer you a free release session to go through the process if you're open to the idea- would take an hour tops. Thanks for all you do for the community.
That shame aspect is exactly how I help men overcome porn
just curious when you say help overcome are you talking about addiction or just accepting the shame to not care. just a little confused about your comment
Short and simple in response to your video. Thank you Alex! Very helpful.
Thank you for this video.
Love your videos dude and I highly respect you and all the value you provide. But I slightly disagree. I think you’re absolutely right in saying that we have to disempower these unhelpful triggers in the mind. But there’s slightly more to it than dismissing the “anxiety” for example. It’s not running away from, but it’s about looking at it; and seeing why it’s there in the first place. Maybe it’s because you feel like your work is falling behind or you’ve lost some clients. That’s important to realize, because then you address the source. And THATS how you completely get rid of these issues in the mind from ever surfacing again. It’s about addressing the source of the block
And I do highly disagree with most therapists. Most therapist don’t know shit about nothin
This is exactly the opposite of what he is saying imo. By analyzing your anxiety and seeking to understand it, you are giving it power over you. Simple as that.
Don't know if im alone here...
But, Alex just proved therapy WORKS.
It works but it's nothing a normal person couldn't do
Thanks brother, needed this one today!
Holy shit, awesome concept!
I've done therapy and it really helped me, but this "not reinforce" concept was a gamechanger (that I didn't learn through therapy) and I love how clearly you put it, and the examples you used. The content was very helpful, even tho I already knew the concept. Thank you!
So if a person is abusive , they should just be like “ yes I am abusive, so what. Move on doesn’t matter” ?
Lol
When he said that I thought about my dad doing exactly that. He would be physically abusive, and then literally say "Yeah I'm an asshole, what about it?". This mindset he's describing is simply not possible/practical in a lot of situations, especially where the severity of the mental illness is more extreme. Like a schizophrenic can't just be like "I think my neighbor's plotting to kill me, fuck it though, so what". This advice may help for some smaller life hurdles tho.
*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible.* 🙏🖤
This fucking guy… all over everywhere but never actually watching the videos or providin value, just leeching subs… sad.
@Up In The North It's called being leech not providing any value to the creator or audience, just poaching subs is gross. At least provide value or watch some of the video
Came for business growth tips and found a personal mindset shift. Excellent content as always. Thanks buddy!
its crazy how perfect of a time I found this. This is what got me out of depression, and for some reason I started caring again and getting agitated. ❤️ Thank you so much
This is the one mode of therapy I always disagreed with. The diagnostic/medical model is outdated and failed. People cannot be reduced down to a label and common sense shows that identification motivates your behavior more than anything else
Also, there are many untrained therapists oit there that have no idea what they are doing
I will say though Alex, our past does influence our future and exploring those reasons for our current actions can be beneficial, but you must take care and confidence going there
Sorry, your experience wasn't positive, but therapy as a whole is beneficial to most people
-Some Therapist
"i'm a liar, cheater, but the best fuckin golfer"??? The latter doesn't negate the former. One speaks to performance, the other, character. Too often men justify shit behavior due to ambition, stress, high performance, power.
I think his point is that it's not worth trying to hide or lie about it.
We can't change our past, so what will one get in spending lots of effort looking at one's past a lot?
I will agree with you though that it is a priority to avoid in the future.
Thank you for this.. seriously. Thanks man
Thanks for shedding some light man! Great content :)
Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!