What is the most useless magical item you've ever given your party? #4
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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The everlasting annoyance: A magical pearl orb that just pisses off anyone who looks at it too long. They managed to use it to distract the BBEG for an entire turn as she tried to attack the orb itself. They killed her on that turn. The party became legends, but the orb was never spoken of directly, as the historians writing about it were annoyed just thinking about it. Fun stuff.
‘The Sword of Deep-Cuts.’ A sword that can’t actually cut anything, but when used successfully against a foe deals ‘emotional damage.’ Depending on the roll and willpower of the opponent it could trigger feelings of mild anxiety/depression or bring on full-throttle trauma flashbacks. Not the most useful weapon, but there’s something to be said about forcing your campaigns BBEG to forcibly relive that time they called the teacher “Mommy” mid-climax.
oh god
"useless magic item"
That's even worse than sword of healing. Sword, which heals all damage, which it inflicted.
@@user-uc2qy1ff2zuseful for acting
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE @@Green24152
Rock of detect gravity.
"yep! That's gravity!"
oop there goes gravity
Drops the rock but floats...
@@davidpellecchia4360 surprised pikachu face
Should have been an apple.....
bucket of infinite Russians , was originally supposed to be ‘bucket of infinite rations’ ,but the person who made it was illiterate. (creates 10 red army soldiers or 25 Russian people per day)
Also Russia doesn’t exist in that universe so they (the Russians) speak in a language that no one can understand ( dm made it be an extraplanuler language) they all have rifles and proper modern helmets (mosins nagants and red army steel) .
Too overpowered, make some vodka and they will follow you to hell and back.
Axios potatoes (and alcohol ) don’t exist due to the fact that the dm is a b#tch . Also this is the same campaign where the DPRK is run by a ancient ironclad dragon (ironclads are a type of red dragons that is neutral)
this is still a box of infinite rations, if your characters are hungry enough....
Havok in this world the dm made human and humanoid meat is severely toxic (7.8billion times stronger than botulinum toxin, the strongest toxin we know of )
This March we had a game for my birthday and I was granted one very useless item that proved to be very useful in the future.
My fighter (level 4) found a magical boomerang that will always hit the target that you are throwing it at, doing very little damage. It will however also hit you when it returns, but only when you least suspect it to.
During a mini boss I throw the boomerang, I think it did like 1d4 damage then it swooshed off into the distance.
Later during the session I found a chest containing a Deck of Many Things and my DM handed me a real, physical DoMT. I ended the session by drawing a card just for fun.
The DM looked in horror as he thought I would never do something that stupid as I know how powerful that item is.
Anyway I drew Donjon, which teleports my character into a pocket dimension with no items, no way of locating me short of a wish spell.
We all started to laugh at the table then silence befell us as we didn't know how to get my character back at such a low level.
"THE BOOMERANG!!!" player shouted! "It will hit the fighter! We can use magic to find the boomerang!"
So now we have a new quest: find the magical boomerang that will find my fighter and hit him for 1d4 damage.
The Armor of Invincibility: Armor that's indestructible... because it redirects any damage directly unto the wearer (AC 10). Without an owner, it's just a normal suit of armor.
That's just an intangible armour
I once gave a player something similar. Enchanted magic sentient plate armour of invulnerability with a crippling fear of getting damaged so it moves itself and opens up to avoid getting hit causing its wearer to take the blow.
Armoire of Invincibility, an armoire (the kind you put clothes in) that cannot be destroyed by any means.
@@NoGirlsOnTheInternet A nuke is about to go off.
I climb into the Armoire.....
@@marclytle644 Have fun with your radiation poisoning!
I have one: ring of always rolling the highest number. When my player got it I told them that all of their dice rolls would automatically be the highest possible (so
always nat 20). The problem was, this was for the dice his character rolled, in the game. Not his actual real life dice. He was not happy.
gotem
The only problem is then if that character took said ring to a tavern or gambling hall to gamble he would always win and could amass a fortune as long as no one checked him for magic items.
@@joshuahendershot196 that is true but I knew that that would not happen because this was in a really short two-shot. But even if this was not a two shot I would probably still have given it to him and if he ever went to a gambling hall I would have the rolls be high until people get suspicious and try to beat him up. Would be a neat encounter either way.
@@Now_Its_Orange Why is your name the name of a plant but not the one in your profile pic?
@algotkristoffersson15 well the plant is orange... seems like a perfect name to me
A ring of binding. It's an ordinary ring, but you can't take it off.
So not an ordinary ring? =P
@@gamecavalier3230 When I say ordinary, it gives no buffs or debuffs. It does absolutely nothing except you can't take it off.
That is called a wedding ring lol
@@triforcehero6264 I was going to say that. Lol.
I assume it used the magic item slot
A staff of self-recharging
It has one charge and whenever it is activated, one charge is used.
One charge is also restored.
Basically it does nothing.
infinite cycle of magic energy :o that can mess up the fabric ya know?
@@12aguskapo we'll worry about it when we get there
Bonus: it messing with the fabric can be a plot hook! ie god of magic wants it gone/is searching for it, It was a proof of concept made by a mad wizard and the bbeg is searching for it to reverse engineer it's power etc
Seems like a good intimidation tactic. Get it in a charge loop and tell someone "This is a staff of great and terrifying magic! It's charging, and you really don't want to be on the wrong end of it when it's finished charging"
Sounds like the fantasy equivalent pf those "useless machine" boxes where you flip a switch and the machine flips it back.
I have three
A necklace that makes it so you can’t say “and”
A scroll of 10,000 cheese burgers
And a bracelet that makes a alarm noise when ever they steal something (also you can’t take it off)
How did the scroll of 10,000 cheese burgers work?
I have a similar item to the Necklace, but every time the person wearing it says "What?", it gives a small electrical zap to the person wearing it similar to that of a shock collar. Don't really have any funny stories surrounding it though.
JustThatGuy a giant ball of cheese burgers slowly falls from the sky
@@betheaves1026 oh god yes
I have another one
Ring of explosive Doors
Whenever you walk close to a door with it on it violently explodes it was made for badass entrances
I gave my party a sentient fork that insulted anyone within a 30ft radius when held.
Fork off!
hahhah mate that would be so amazing
I kind of imagine it like House.
"Oh great, another guy picking me up. Let me guess, we're eating salad today? If I had to guess that means someone is trying to be healthy, maybe a new diet will re-kindle the love in their life?"
Or if we go the Deadpool route..
"Hey hey hey hey! Sure you don't want to eat that ice cream with a spoon? Come on big brains, you know you wanna."
@@BrianVaughnVA Be even better if it did it in a Gilbert Godfry voice.
@@marclytle644 I can do that. Join the stream today and harass Ripper (aka Scott) to make me do a Godfry voice.
I once had a shopkeeper sell my players a faulty Bag of Holding. It was smaller on the inside than on the outside.
How small? Could a rouges hand get caught in it?
Isn't that just a very thick bag?
Our GM gave us one of these and laughed. I said „I turn it inside out“... he stopped laughing then.
Mine is a dagger that screams when ur trying to be stealthy, the best part is that it’s cursed so once u pick it up u can’t get rid of it willingly and if someone takes it off of u then they don’t want to give it away
ok if I had that I'd probably make it into rouge bait at a base. get it a fancy display case that just happens to be abit easier to break into then the obviously nice but well protected spoils in your personal treasury. o and maybe have some traps set to go off if the thing starts screaming.
That is exactly what I did
Whelp, I made a stick that thought it could think. That ended the session REAL quick. Oh yeah, his name is Michael.
Michael is now the party leader
My brain hurts.
"I think therefore I am."
-some guy lmao
Earring of Clarity
Repeats the wearer's speech into their ear 1 second after being said. This way the wearer can ensure they are speaking clearly.
Oof. Make this one cursed so it's not something you can easily remove! Honestly I should make that a thing for my next character, she just has that. Pretty good excuse to start travelling.
Good for deaf people
The Cup of Boredom: A bland looking wooden goblet that appears to be so uninteresting that you have to succeed a will save to not ignore it. If a player succeeds at identifying the enchantment, they will find out that the only enchantment on this cup has the purpose of boring anyone who looks at the cup.
Great for hiding treasure in
@@codebracker What will you hide in it? A few coins? It is not exceptionally sized and the only way to really hide it is by turning the cup upside down.
@@thyrussendria8198 place it over a few jewels or something and noone will steal them
That's actually a pretty good explanation of a "someone else's problem" field generator from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.
my lich's phylactery, no lich would be dumb enough to put his philylactery in a regular cup. is what everyone would think.
A staff called staff of the ma-chai but it's pronounced staff of the magi. All it does is fill a cup with chai
whats chai
@@Green24152 type of tea
Well, if it "fills a cup" then if I was in that game I would get a massive cup made and then use it to fill a bag of holding and turn it inside out and use the water pressure to kill bosses
@@eliaspanayi3465 Smart
The unidentified sword. It is +1 or +2 to keep the party interested in it. Its only other magical ability? It casts counter-spell at 8th level on anybody attempting to cast Identify on it. When the party finally is able to throw identify at the 9th level many, many, many sessions later, they will groan.
That sounds funny but the only thing that I feel like would make this happen earlier is if the DM allows the whole "You learn about the magic items abilities after 1 hour of identifying it" (or whatever the rule is).
So, I run AD&D 1E as a primary rule set for my parties. One party had been playing with me for about a year and at 8th level they still had no magic items. They'd found some magic items at one point, but due to role play they ended up losing them. So after a couple sessions of them begging me for some magic items back, I gave them a Stone of Inclement Weather.
The stone indeed was magical, when inclement weather was happening, it would glow a soft blue color. They tried so hard to find out what it did, but nothing they tried worked... until one adventure up in some mountains. A blizzard caught them off guard, and in the dim snowy air the fighter realized his magic-user companion's pocket was glowing blue. They took a look and groaned as they realized the the stone was telling them it was inclement weather.
They eventually figured out this ability could transcend dimensions, so during a sandstorm in a desert the magic-user was able to pull them into an extra dimensional space and they could wait out the storm in safety. It wasn't exactly a useless item, but it did not give them the sort of functionality they'd hoped for. They never begged for magic items after that stone.
I gave my crew (whom I hated but I was doing a favor for another friend) a +3 Vorpal Longsword which gave them advantage on every attack and gleamed like silver.
Catch was, it had no sheath and didn't have to attune to anyone. Anyone could use it. If they botched while using it, they had to roll to hit themselves with all appropriate modifiers and bonuses.
They had to take turns carrying it, as there wasn't a sheath, but that meant they basically had to march this thing forward as if it were a band leader's baton in a parade, resulting in Con or Dex checks every hour or so to see if they had grown tired of carrying it or not...which if they botched, they then had to roll to see if they dropped this thing on themselves. It cut its way out of every sheath they put on it, even the magical ones.
At first, they were fighting over who carried it because it made them gods on the battlefield. This continued, but by the end, it was so that none of them wanted to carry it at all. One time, they left it in the dirt (no sheath meant they basically pushed it into the ground until only the hilt and grip was showing) and never recovered it, only to come back later to get it and realized they now had to fight a band of six bandits, one of whom had it and wrecked their shit despite being weak as wax in a barbeque pit. The weapon was too good to get rid of too dangerous to let anyone else have, and anyone who realized they had the sword would either begin trying to get it or run the hell away from them.
Watching the deal with town's guards was fun. I turned a bunch of murder-hobos into accomplished diplomats toot fuckin' sweet.
My players would have dropped it down the first cesspit they'd come across... Making sure that it's at the bottom by tying something heavy to the handle. Alternate disposal method : Throw it into a bag of holding, destroying the bag with the usual aftermath, throw it across the astral plane, drop it overboard while at sea, cast it in lead before that, ...
I've told this one before, but it's still a favorite. One of my early 3.5 characters was a fire genasi evoker wizard, who specialized in fire magics. My introduction into making magic items was imbuing a longsword with a continual flame spell. The GM thought it was wierd but allowed it. All it did was glow like and look as if it was a flaming sword.
We were going up against an army of orcs when my character got surrounded by orcs. In a desperate move, I drew my sword, and cast fireball right in front of me. I was in the blast radius, but made my reflex save thanks to my racial bonuses. My next move was an intimidate check on the survivor orcs. Because the sword looked like a flaming sword, I got a circumstance bonus on my check. I rolled a nat 20, and they ran.
But that's not the end of the tale.
I made more of them. I bought up a lot of mastercraft longswords, cast continual flame on each one, and then had the party rogue sell them to a merchant, convincing the merchant that the swords were real flaming swords. We made enough gold by pulling this stunt a few times in various cities to buy our own keep.
The hilarious part was in a later campaign when a new guy to our group came across a corpse of a fallen warrior who had a magic sword in his sheath. It was one of my old character's fake flaming swords. LOL. It became a running gag to give the newbies one of those swords as their first magic item.
I had actually almost forgotten this one until my old player brought the story up.
The spoon of balance
Due to a player’s crazy rolls and nagging for magic items in a low magic campaign eventually i needed to give at least something (even trinket type magics were very valuable and gave influence), so i gave a spoon that “will never tilt, bend, snap, or spill so long as it is being used to scoop food and said food shall be lighter than the lightest feather, it could spill to put stuff in your mouth with the command word, which was a nice fresh raspberry “ptttt”.
This was used for a few jokes in the group (recreated the golden child, won a few tavern bets, helped an old man named burger to stand once again before he passed...) and that was it... until the party encountered a buffed up dragon i had set to keep them away from a certain dangerous area as they were underleveled. They spent two sessions just trying to come up with ideas, then the monk remembered that we had met an ox like creature that ate stone a while back and was like “hey, isnt rock food then?” I will admit, i blanched and facepalmed, he was right. They proceeded to go near the canyon the beast guarded, climbed up, scooped up the biggest boulder they could find (and man did they roll well on That...) then walked it over and balanced the spoon off the edge of the cliff. The bard then proceeded to start mocking the dragon’s shlong and its mother’s face as he backed into the valley, as the insults became a song (used the tune from drunken sailor and some very sailoresk insults... gotta love sea bards...) the beast roared and gave chase only to hear the finally of the bard proffering his rump with a slap to the cheek, a loud raspberry, and a blown kiss as the boulder dropped on the beast. Due to massive stone fall, the beast’s breath going off, and a few other reasons i gave them all they could find of the spoon afterward was half of the small emblem that used to reside on the handle.
Inventive
@Professional Chav creatures of myth and legend can easily exist in a low magic campaign in Many different ways:
1. Creatures of myth dont use magic (or much magic) but instead are mostly natural
2. Although humans are mostly not magically advanced mythical creatures still have their own magic, they just refuse to or cant share it with humans
3. Mythical creatures are fully magical but are so rare that they really are thought not to exist until someone digs too deep or enters the wrong taboo cave or something
4. Enemies are as normal, players just get basically nothing magic wise, think of it as hardcore, low loot rules
5. Some magical creatures survived a massive magical purge event likely caused my human, but it wiped out many magical beings and most magic items/spells
6. Magic has yet to be developed much yet, making magical creatures actually likely study targets for those wishing to understand magic formation more
7. Dungeons have already been mostly picked clean by adventurers and scavengers of antiquity, almost all magic is owned by a powerful few and closely regulated, your players are truing to find the scraps or the scraps, the few surviving endangered magical beings, and learn from forgotten sources about magic.
8. Mythical creatures were created by experiments trying to gather together the weak magics and science/alchemic knowledge and such
9. Faith and worship allow some low blessings to occur but mortals are blocked from magic
I could list more but thats a fairly decent list for you to start with
Magic bread. There was nothing special about it. It was literally just bread that always pinged as magical for some reason.
Maybe it was made from magical wheat
Someone used magic to infuse it with love.
@@voltsiano116 it had a very low amount of a love potion, so, when you eat that kind of bread it seems much more better, you also start to missing that one bread when comparing to others, even tho it is not that tasty. just decent normal bread with love potion.
@@voltsiano116 I don't need magic to infuse a loaf of bread with "love".
Was it magical due to magic preserving it? Or was it not even that?
We got a scimitar of disguise... When you drew it from its sheath you would grow a moustache and beard like Antonio Banderas in Spy Kids. Nothing else about your appearance changed, you just had an odd beard and moustache.
One I made: Ring of bread likeliness. It makes the wearer more likely to come across free bread.
..... Can I have that ring? I mean that sounds REALLY useful to be fair.
I read that as "Ring of Breadlikeness" and was concerned at first...
Like a cursed item that turns the wearer into bread, with all the problems as far as physical stuff goes, but they get to keep their mental capabilities. Also, they can't take it off.
However, they are incredibly nutritious and tasty to the point of being almost addictive, and heal all wounds when exposed to the light of a full moon.
My party’s bread-worshipping paladin would love to have this XD. Every free bread would be “a sign from the gods”
My ranger with magical toaster would like that a lot
The Spear of Peace: When you stab something with it, the creature becomes peaceful (its just a normal spear though~)
Apply until peaceful
..... I love spears and I want a spear of peace now.
Whenever I include magic items in a campaign they have an intended purpose and are pretty straightforward. However I do have two useless item stories:
First recently happened, my players messed up and now have a completely useless magic key. It is a key that one attunes to. The key is paired to a chest which has a magical effect of being invisible. The one attuned to the key can see the chest. I had put this in the game to give the party a storage container for their party loot with relative security. The Arcane Trickster Rogue managed to pickpocket the key successfully and attuned to it. However they never decided to go to the previous owners room to search the chest. Instead opting to use the key on every door on the boat. And becoming increasingly frustrated with the key. So once the party reached Harbor, I subtly hinted at what the key might actually work with. The Rogue took this to mean that the key must go to something on the island. A few days later the ship leaves port with the chest. And the Rogue has used this key on every door, lock box and chest. I just don't have the heart to tell her. Maybe as a joke all allow it to open something minor.
The second item isn't so much useless as very unfortunate. The item is a Shield of Missile Attraction, it functions the same as a normal shield so plus 2 AC. But the item comes with two magical effects. The first is resistance, half damage, ranged ammunition or thrown projectile hits. The second is that all ranged and thrown attacks magically veer in the direction of the shields weilder. This includes friendly allies. The person who is using the shield is the war cleric, in the party we have a gunslinger, a Bard who has a crossbow, a rogue that has throwing daggers and a shortbow, and a mage who has magic missile. Thankfully most of the attacks ping off of the war clerics 20AC. After a couple of encounters where every thrown and ranged attack is absorbed by the war cleric decides that they would like to discard the shield to do a little bit of extra damage with their war axe. Willing to take their AC down to 18. However the shield's curse does not stop when you are not holding the shield. And apparently that +2 AC really mattered. Because the kobolds, kobold inventor, kobold scale sorcerer, and a DM PC kobold who uses a wand of magic missile. Unloaded a volley that sent the war cleric into a state of rolling death saves. And the Gunslinger either was not paying attention or did not care because they fire their blunderbuss into the unconscious cleric.
Boblin's Hat of Instant Goblins: It's a jester hat that when attuned to, summons four benign and dim-witted goblins that bumble around and get in the way. They can't fight, disobey commands, smell awful and are just about useless in every conceivable way.
They may smell awful, but how do they taste?
Tell them not to fight the enemy.
I made a wooden spinning top that, when spun, turned into a harsh twister for 1d4 rounds picking up everyone and everything near it and throwing it into a random direction. The players didn't know this the first time and almost tpk'd themselves in the storage area they found it at. Turns out it was a giant storage area full of cursed and dangerous items a secret group of people collected and locked away from the public for this very reason. What did they say about the curious cat? 🤣
I gave a “ring of hawking” to my Druid who wanted a pet hawk. He did get one eventually, but the ring just made you able to spit massive loogies that always make the sound of hitting a spittoon.
The most powerful magic item (that's not homebrew) is the Cloak of Billowing, no debate.
Especially if you have a mount. Then you can have two of them.
OK but I seriously love the 5E cloak of billowing. I have owned one with both bards and one paladin I've played in 5e for purely dramatic purposes.
@@mattevans4377 My cloak billows in the nonexistent wind... AND SO DOES MY MOUNT'S
The stick of stickiness:
"It is exceedingly sticky.
As a matter of fact, it might actually be the stickiest stick that you've ever seen."
I have a few:
Helmet of the Deafknight. Now out loud this sounds like a deathknight's helmet (it even has a skull for a visor), but instead it belonged to a knight who was hard of hearing. So he enchanted his helmet to amplify all the sounds he heard tenfold. Any normal person putting it on can get the Deafened condition from for instance a busy street or a nearby shout. But the helmet has fringe uses: if it's quiet, you can use it to hear very minor noises, even far away. Though I admit the item exists mostly for the dissapointment in a player as they realize they haven't bought the badass deathknight helmet they thought they did.
Then there's what I like to call (though not in front of my players) 'The Edgy Rogue's Ring'. Whenever the wearer speaks the command words "Nothing personal" the ring teleports them right behind a random creature within a 30 ft. radius. It's basically a faulty teleportation ring, and it also has a small chance to break in each use: on a 1 or 13 on a d20 roll. Made mostly for the purpose of "nothing personnel" *teleports behind you*, except it can send the little egdelord behind his target OR behind the unsuspecting barkeep at the target's favourite drinking spot.
Finally, the Calamity Ring (stolen from Dark Souls). The ring just makes the wearer take double damage. There is no benefit. Also, as per my own addition, whenever something particularly unfortunate happens to the wearer or someone around him, the ring will glow red and eminate a faint laughter. Haven't found a use for this yet, except to make the PC's hate the accursed thing.
Well, not EVERYONE can say they flirted a door into conciousness😂
a glove I gave that makes it impossible to miss a high-five.
During an adventure, me and my companions found a skull with ruby eyes, and the letters DERF carved in it's forehead. Upon picking it up, it began to speak! Turns out that he was a magic skull, and the letters were his name. Derf.
It turns out that Derf was extremely annoying and talkative and had a slightly lower than average intelligence, but for some reason we kept him around because we figured he was important for some kind of quest.
He would constantly go on, saying how he was looking for his twin brother, Fred.
One day my Half-Elf/Half-Gnome herb-smoking wizard (who the party simply called The G'Nelf because nobody could remember his true name) was holding Derf when they walked passed the mirror.
Derf took one look towards the mirror, and said, "OH! Hey Fred!"
We all groaned. But for some reason G'Nelf decided to keep him and take him back to his tower and laboratory so he would have someone to talk to!
If anyone wants to know the origin of G'Nelf, feel free to ask. It is a very.... strange and unique character and how he came to be was great fun, easily my most favorite character.
Sword of etherealnes a sword that on anything other than a 20 would phase out of existence and miss on a 20 it did 1 force dmg
My players would give it to people they would fight 1 on 1 and kill them
Ring of invisibility, once worn, the ring turns invisible, just the ring
is it still physically there? Because if it was it would hurt a bit more to be punched by someone wearing that. Imagine someone wearing like 50 of them and the enemy goes "hahah look he thinks punching me without gloves is going to do anything" before they get decked with essentially an invisible gauntlet of rings
@@UltimaDoombotMK1 I would say to wear 5 on each finger to get brass knuckles but your idea is way better and hilarious
A bag of pigeons:
This small brown leather bag has several feathers woven into the bag, upon inspection it becomes clear that the leather is ostrich leather and the feathers woven into the bag are made from a parrot
As an action in combat or 3 seconds out of it you can pull out a single pigeon out of this bag (raven stats) the pigeon is friendly to you and your allies and might follow orders (50% chance to follow orders, 100% on the roll means the pigeon follows orders until death
I'm still to see how my players react to it
There's this fun dumb item I made called the "Ring of blood" if worn and you take slashing or piercing damage and get a cut it opens a small portal to a plane of blood and just spews it out away from you. It was hilarious to see one character slash his hands and attempt to drown enemies with it
The trowel of the trowel gods: My party had gone back in time to a farmhouse at the start of the session. Instead of following an npc wizard we obsessed over what tools were in the farmhouse. After a certain point the dm was done with our asking details about a trowel. So a bunch of trowels rained from the sky dealing 1d4 damage to us. We finally went on with the mission but I made sure to take a trowel. In a later session we were fighting skeletons while descending an elevator. I decided to yeet the trowel at a skeleton saying it must have the power of the trowel gods. It hit and along with 1d4 bludgeoning it dealt some lightning damage. I then used it from time to time. But I made sure not to use it too much as to not anger the trowel gods.
Ring of attunement, allows wearer to attune to an extra magical item (Ring requires attunement)
I love this subreddit! It's honestly my favorite. Keep up the good work guys!
You know what? I love this channel. 10/10 entertaining listen during work and commute.
I got Reroll last time you guys were sponsored by it. Showed my friends and we now have 4 new purchases and many hours wasted making all our beloved characters lol
Rod of Breath of Wind. A rod that "breaks" in half revealing a fan, enchanted to cool air that is fanned on to the user
Hey, Brian! Second of my most useless items: The Flask of Endless Kittens. It was once a Flask of Endless Water, but after lying in an area of wild magic for several years, it morphed and instead of producing trickles or blasts of water, it instead produced a kitten or a pile of kittens. They acted as normal, real baby cats would, and you could produce an endless number of kittens with the flask, but if you ever took your eyes off a single one, it disappeared from existence. They served no real purpose other than being cute, and other than entertaining some orphans while our party spoke to their caretaker, we never found a real use for it.
I’m glad to know you liked the nut button story enough to put it in a video, the work on this channel has been a great source of entertainment throughout this mess, here’s looking forward to future content
The Rod of Block, it just summons a block of wood, it was suppose to be given to a carpenter. The carpenter when given the rod was suppose to give them a map that would take them to a ship, that had a McGuffin and turn the BBEG into a harmless shell of his former self. Did the party do that, nope. They used it to kill the BBEG; they summoned a block, sharpened it, and tripped the BBEG. The block went right into the head. The party then proceeded to loot and burn down the castle. Good times.
A rug. Yup, just a rug. 'bout the size where my Human Bard could lay down on it comfortably. We were in a shop and the DM mentioned that there were rugs and I was like "Can I buy one?" and he was like, "um, ok". Now the thing is, this character was a college of creation bard, so I used animating performance, and since it had high strength and was considered large it could carry my character. Became my personal flying mount for the campaign
Definitely going to use that stone one day
Same
So basically my dm memed on me because a had thrown a bird across a forest.
He had made a birdball, basically there is a ball with wings and a beek, When you throw it it shows you to the nearest forest.
It was actually pretty helpful, we used it to kill a small child
When I get to writing adventures for my group in The Dark Eye, I'll make a mentally not-quite-there elven druid who specializes in making artifacts, and is quite good at doing so. Some ideas I have so far:
1. Outfit of cheese (includes undergarments, shirt, pants, shoes, gloves and hat of cheese): When put on, the artifact transforms the nearest object affine to the element Humus (Earth) into a wheel of cheese. Now, since these items are made from linen, and thus Humus affine, they themselves turn into cheese, meaning that as soon as you put these clothes on, they'll turn into cheese, be displaced by your body, and explode everywhere.
2. Arrow of unlocking: An arrow that unlocks stuff. However, like with the clothes, the enchantment is triggered by an action specific to the item in question, meaning that you have to shoot the arrow into a lock to trigger the enchantment. And it's a special long-distance arrow, so you have to be at least 20 meters away from the lock.
3. Dagger of light: A dagger crafted for assassins, which creates a large and bright sphere of light when used. Almost like a flash grenade, but no sound and the light follows the user for 5 hours, staying up to 10 meters above them at all times.
4. Drums of silence: When used, they create a magic field around them that muffles all kinds of sounds. But they only work as long as you're hitting them, so mostly a split second silence at a time, then the noise is back to normal until you hit the drums again.
5. Ring of tree skin: This ring, when turned on your finger, makes you as resilient as a massive oak tree. Because it turns you into an oak tree. You'll stay a tree for a month, and it has a second enchantment that suppresses anti-magic spells, so those are out of the question as well. The third enchantment is a universal demon banning spell, so one could run into demonically perverted areas, turn the ring, and offer a safe haven to nature for a month to help it reclaim the area. However, demon banning falls under anti-magic, so the second enchantment nullifies the third one. The third one has a 20cm wider range than the second one, so when used, there is a 50 meter area around the caster where magic can't be nullified easily, then 20cm where demons can't exist, and that's that.
You could still use that to either trap demons in the sphere of influence, or keep them out of it, actually! Since, they'd be banished by crossing the barrier, right? I actually really like that twist
@@Woodledude Yeah, kind of.
@@theoneandonlyclayfanaticsu7395 It's not going to be that strong, but yeah.
Also, you'll turn back to normal in a month.
I can think of two items which I've never created or used but which might be fun to insert into a game some day:
Bag of Moulding: Place clay into the bag and leave it overnight, and in the morning it spits out a perfectly moulded clay beaker, ready for firing.
Bag of Mouldering: Anything placed in this bag ages at 7 times the normal rate (eg. 1 day equals 1 week) so food goes bad (including mould growing on it) and metal tarnishes and rusts unless it's something like gold or mithril which are supposed to be unable to tarnish.
put some wine in the bag of mouldering
A magical knife that when thrown will unerringly fly into the most near creature's heart.
What most knife throwing people fail to understand, it that THEIR heart is the closest one to the knife.
4:46
Uncontrollable Crying is an actual status effect in the Earthbound/Mother series where you were much more likely to miss an attack. I really hope the DM did something similar, where anyone affected by the box of tears would have disadvantage on rolls involving eyesight, including attack rolls. Sounds OP until you realize the user is also likely to suffer the same effects.
My favourite is from the old Just Roll With It campaign, the ring of tree powers. After attuning the ring, the wearer can say the words "Tree powers activate" to instantly become a tree, you cannot change back.
I gave my players a very expensive book, a cooking book magically infused with illusions of the cooking process of all its recopies, it was meant to be an expensive gag item for them to sell off.
despite its total uselessness and it being worth quite a bit of money the fighter wont part with this treasure, and has been learning how to cook.
Got ReRoll thanks to you, and I LOVE it.
Gave my players the following items: Gold Glitter (think pixie dust): any item sprinkled with it will float 5 feet in the air for 1 hour, sentient creatures can control their flight; Chalk of Summoning: whatever you draw will appear and be made of the material you draw on (wood, stone, metal, flesh, etc) without damaging the original item. (Weapons such as swords will be blunt and they cannot be sharpened); and something I saw on another video, Staff of 'Dis Guy's Elf (say like disguise self), for 1 hour will summon an elf to perform a menial task for you (no fighting, stealing, lockpicking, etc) amd when he appears he exclaims "Hey, it's 'dis guy!" While greeting the player that summoned him.
Hey Brian! Listening to you makes me happy, which is great because I'm going through an amazing 15 month streak of really shitty everything. I hope your lovely voice and your lovely attitude net you whatever'll make you happier.
That said, a friend told me he once acquired a "bag of ass": a regular looking bag that made whatever was stored in it smell and taste like ass.
Eventually he learned from the previous owner that the bag was not magical. Just an ordinary bag in which a Troll once farted.
Hey Spawn!
I'm glad it makes you happy! Seriously when I hear things like this I get a smile right across my bearded face. Though I ain't smiling that you had to deal with bullshit, no one deserves to, least not in my book. So I hope everything continues to get better and better for you mate, if not, feel free to rant in any video I'm narrating, I always read those comments and try to reply much as I can (though I'm horribly awkward and asocial as our streams show heh).
That bag sounds like it "could" be useful if you want to troll someone - pun intended. I can imagine a rogue sneaking up on the BBEG and basically stuffing the bag over their head, tying it so they can't escape easy, bam - ruins their day.
i got a lot of these, for some reason everyone likes number 10 the most
1 Swiss's Cheesy Ring, when worn turns all treasure found into cheese
2 Bottomless Bucket, anything put in falls through the bottom
3 Blind Carl's Special Glasses, make whoever wheres them blind until taken off
4 Massive Madinde, floating rock that breaks when touched
5 Beets Broken Robe, enchanted to fall off at random
6 Random Spell Scroll, casts a wild spell at random
7 Comb of Ultimate Luck, allows one to roll a 20, but not use it
8 Lie Detector of Truth, says everything is the truth, even blatant lies
9 Dont Use, a card from the deck of many things
10 literal garbage, fresh from a trash can
11 belt of lightning, casts lightning on self everyday
I gave my players a "ring of rat finding" it caused a bad headache whenever there was a rat within 10 feet. This campaign was set in a dimension of rat people....
My DM sold me a fishing where you are guaranteed to catch a fish bit after 30 you are “out fished” and must make a death saving throw. I thankfully succeeded and never used it again.
At the start of campaigns I've made it a rule that if you provide a backstory with good effort put in, you get a minor magical item of your design, nothing that adds practicality, just flavor. One of them chose a pot that would boil water after only a single minute, any amount of water in the pot, no heat source needed, just add water and a minute later... boom boiling water. Despite constantly camping out, it finally got used 13 sessions in to make a stew using... inedible Kraken meat.
My most amazing magical item creation, The Bucket of Blindness! It looks like a normal bucket but has a special ability, when you put it over someone's head and obscure their vision they are no longer able to see. The enchantment does not work if you don't cover their eyes though.
great for stealing things
The Trombone of Invisibility, that is all.
I once did a shop that cave silly items. It had a section in the back called the Wrong Room.
Instead of a bag of holding, you could get a baguette holding. It was a loaf of bread that could hold any number of sandwich toppings without spilling
Imagine being so desperate you flirt with a door so hard it gains consciousness and goes on mad jealous streaks
I can't stop laughing
My Eldritch Knight has a flair for the dramatic, and likes to flamboyantly throw off her capelet when beginning combat. So, naturally, she had it enchanted to become a "Capelet of Snappy Dressing". Once attuned, if she snaps her fingers when she's not wearing it, it warps right onto her shoulders, similar to summoning a weapon via Weapon Bond. The only thing it's really good for is not having to awkwardly come back to retrieve it after every fight.
A vorpal needle that they dropped and lost, now probably swimming in the earth's core. A single boot of flying that essentially is like wearing a single pool floater around your ankle and flipping upside down with no max height; they tied a rope around the warlock and she cast eldritch blast from roof tops, a creative one for sure.
The best one was a head of a dwarf with no eyes, if you held it by the beard upside down, you see though it's eye socket. Our DM allowed us to use mage hand with it and we could see far above or ahead of the party. The other fun thing with this is how we made a bad guy throw up and pass out from paralyzing its arms with a poison, tying the head to his hand and spinning it around until he puked, told us what we needed and passed out.
One item that was a normal item that became magical was,
"The rock of detection."
Some of the finer details have been lost to me but here is the short version. The story goes that I was Dm for a group of my friends. The party was being attacked by some enemies, can not remember what, and the person who summoned them was currently invisible. The barbarian decided to start throwing rocks to find the invisible guy. Eventually, my rolls were poor, and the enemy failed to avoid it, and got clocked by one. The barbarian decided to keep the rock that hit him, and it was then known as, "The rock of detection." It is an ongoing joke that whenever there is a bad loot table roll, the party finds a rock of detection with everything else.
My favorite though had to be,
"The void cloak"
Now, with a name like that you expect it to be this totally awesome item right? Nope. This item would do nothing when attuned, until the user had a bag of holding on their person. What it would THEN do, is turn the fabric into a display of sorts, showing whatever items were floating around in the bag. For example, one player stored a bunch of potions in their bag, and so there were potions floating around on the void cloak. It was a purely visual effect. This item became increasingly funny as the campaign went on, because the wizard refused to take it off. This meant that as his bag filled, so did the cloak, leading to npc's often pausing to see disembodied hands and other strange things appear on the wizard.
"I think you made the barbarion angry..."
My character begins hiding behind the rest of the party in sheer terror. "NO. NOOO! NOT THE STONE! NOT THE STOOONE NO PLEASE! NONONONONO"
This isnt really a useless magic item, it was a talking amulet of vampiric touch but the catch was that it talked and to charge it they had to pour blood on it but the amulet would talk creepy and really enjoy the blood bath a little to much
i snuck in a useless item into a loot horde some goblins stole- the party recovered a tea cup that, if used in “play pretend” fashion; you would actually drink tea out of it. but if you don’t have childlike wonder and imagination it was just a normal empty tea cup.
Bagpipes of Invisibility: as long you are playing you are invisible.
The Ranger had the attitude to feed every slain enemy to his companion, a giant frog. The issue was, that frogs can only eat small or below sized creatures. So I gave him a bag full of magic spices, which had two effects: Shrinks any slain creature to "small" size, and if a creature was shrunk by this it suddenly tasted delicious.
Not useless by definition, but had no practical use at all.
Jar of Perfect Pickles. It's a DC 27 athletics to open the jar. They're really good pickles.
The half-goliath was a close cousin but hadn't played D&D before. This is why he didn't think twice when I gave him a stone with a permanencied recall spell enchanted on it. The unsuspecting cousin eventually found the recall trigger, "this rock" organically.
Now this might actually sound somewhat useful (and it was meant to be) but when the half-goliath did finally discover the magic words, the party was surprised and horrified to see him go suddenly rigid and stand bolt upright. Yes, "this rock" returned to it's owner when called, the drawback being that every time the words were spoken, it managed to show up within his sphincter. The resulting con save made "this rock" somewhat less useful.
My AT Rogue / Enchant Wizard would *kill* for that Pillow of Building Forts. One of the quirks I designed her with is, as a Mousefolk, she would find regular humanoid beds uncomfortable to sleep in. At night, she will start sneaking around to go steal pillows in order to make herself a nest. In the morning, the other PCs will find her huddled in a pillow fort made from the spare pillows they all had in their rooms...
A pickle Rick crack pipe with broken warding that tells me when I’m about to randomly trip at the DMs will
My personal favorite is the "The Foldable Goat". A magical goat that, looks and acts like a regular goat. However, on a DC 30 strength check you can fold this goat in half. You cannot unfold it, nor can you fold it again. The goat does not die. It continues to act like a normal goat, only folded in half.
Necklace of Cure Throat Ailments. It infused any drink or food that passed through the loop with ginger and honey, so when worn if you drank water it would become soothing tea. I also gave them a decanter of endless carbonated water… so they made a decanter of endless ginger ale.
I remember the shoe of levitation, it was a shoe "only 1" that when worn allowed a player to float roughly 3 feet above the top of whatever surface they stood on, it sounds great untill you remember it's only one so when you step off a roof you just kinda float away really really slowly...."we never found our dwarf after that"
Reroll Looks cool...if i had anyone to play dnd with lol.
back in 2e, my dad, the DM, gave us a "ring of horribly flatulent misrepresentation," which allowed you to target one creature and cause them to violently shart out the entire contents of their digestive tract. the real kicker was the way he'd describe these events. "you hear a horrible sound. like a hurricane going through a tuba. with chunks." or "like a million tons of TNT going off at the bottom of a lake of pudding" or "like a silverback gorilla on cocaine being shoved into a woodchipper." we usually used it by sneaking up on an enemy encounter and pairing it with the stinking cloud spell.
Rock of healing: when thrown at a creature roll a 1d6 on a 1-3 take 1 damage on a 4-6 heal 1 damage
I've only got one, but it's an amulet that forces you to put it on if you fail your constitution save, and from then on will make the player vehemently deny that said amulet is cursed. And that's all it does. It's semi-cold to the touch and gives off a cold aura, but that's just for show. I call it the Cursed Amulet of Denial.
In my campaign, my lil bro fell for my trapped magical item. The Leather Vest of MCD. Gives a +1 to the AC of anyone wearing it, but it causes enraged bulls to attempt to plow into him randomly, dealing 1d4 damage on a failed dex save up to 3 times before it runs away. I figured he'd ditch it, but that sweet sweet AC bonus has him thinking it's worth keeping lol
Not a DM yet, but planning to be. I plan on implementing this little gem into a future campaign as a prank. The Wand of the Emporer: A wand that, once cast, magically removes all of the caster's clothes/armor for their next 3 turns, without the caster's knowledge (this includes anything in the caster's pockets, but excludes backpacks, purses, satchels, etc). They have to roll a successful perception check if they want to realize they're completely naked.
In the campaign I'm writing, there's an item called the staff of Megumin, that grants access to Skill: One-Shot Explosion, but makes the user flop to the ground and makes them unable to move for 16 hours. Can only be used by wizards, and prevents the use of other spells.
'...he was flirting... with a door. Not even a full door, it was like those saloon swinging doors.'
A topless door? What kind of lewd game was this guy running? Heavens!
Box of invisibility and discreteness.
It is a large cardboard box with two words written on it: The Orange.
It makes you invisible unless you take off the box or attack. You can still see the box, but it is assumed nothing is abnormal. You need a stealth bonus of at least +5 to use it, and you can only move by crawling. You cannot fold it up.
The mug of moaning actually would be very useful think about it an easy way to make high intelligence enemies uncomfortable
From a recent campaign: Bag of Secrets - it cannot be used to carry items, instead it produces an infinite amount of 'secret bananas' inedible bananas that whisper the secrets of the universe if you hold them to your ear, (actually gibberish, but in Draconic). That's it. That's all it does.
Soap bar of cleansing, any time a character swears, the bar teleports inside their mouths and gains consciousness and starts scrubbing the inside of your mouth
I had a "Bag of Infinite Weed". Basically, if contained a dimensional tear that you could pull out an amount of DANK KUSH whenever you wanted, how much really didn't matter, since my party at the time wasn't that bright to use it mechanically.
Our paladin had the item, and was the designated dispenser. Eventually the paladin sacrificed himself by tackling a monk into an active volcano, burning himself, and all of his gear, including the bag of weed. However, the tear inside was not burned, it just kept spitting out weed to then be burned in teh lava.
That mountain began to billow smoke into the valley below, and do...funny things to the creatures in the woods nestled in the fertile volcanic soil.
This mountain still exists in my campaign, called "Weed Mountain."
i was playing pathfinder, as a cat-beast guy. We unleash a lich from a 10000 year sleep when we accidentally opened a big door that said "dont open" but nobody asked what the sign said. Anyway inside the tomb is a sphere glowing, and it makes wonderful sounds when it rolls on the floor. Two sessions later everyone was laughing at me out of character for trying to take this ball to the highest magic authority in the land, after doing experiment after experiment.
It was literally a cat toy, and the meta joke was my stupid ass trying to decipher the mystery of the magical jinglebell.
I made a wizard who started making magical items long after he went senile. Now long dead, the players had to find their way through his old tower while being beset by random magical effects, such as being turned into an otter for an hour or smelling like lemons for the rest of the day upon falling into a trap. I also placed a bunch of magical items into his stock, though, some of which I found hilarious when used.
Dagger of Identification - A dagger that identifies things. Thinking it casts Identify, the party spent... probably ten minutes trying to cast it. Finally figure out it has to stab something to identify it... and that it identifies it as whatever it wants. So they stab a door and the Dagger claims the door is now named "Steve the holey. Get it? Cause he has a hole now."
Compass of Certainty - A sentient compass that will always point a direction of something you want with absolute certainty. Problem is, it's always guessing the direction and doesn't actually know... as my party found out upon arriving at a desert on the opposite side of the map they were on.
And finally: Hairclip of Animal Intelligence - A hairclip that gave whatever animal it was put on human intelligence. Which sounded great for the party I was DMing... until they found out that human intelligence really freaks out animals and they almost always freak out and damage their surroundings. The best was when they tried it out on a horse and ended up having to pay the inn for a new stable.... ahhh, good times.
Magic Item Ideas:
Bucket of Holding: Just a regular Bucket
Hat of Magic: Makes you fall for magic tricks
Book of Words: A dictionary
Wand of Fly: Summons a fly
Ring of Spell Casting: Spells the word Casting telepathically to the wearer
I also had a party that pestered me for "more magical items". So one day I succumbed and gave them the Ring of Deliciousness - when you wear it and turn it on your finger, whatever you eat for the next 30 minutes will taste like the most delicious thing you ever tasted... (uses 3/day)
The Barbarian loved it, used it at EVERY meal up to the maximum amount of uses. The only time it really sort of came in useful was when they were part of a grotesque challenge with a band of powerful monsters that would let them go if one of them coul out-eat their boss in eating gross stuff. The Barbarian won...