Why You’ll Never Win The Alcohol Moderation Battle
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
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Coming up on one year. Moderation was another source of unhappiness and weariness. I came to the conclusion it was all or nothing and I never looked back. Thanks for your content.
I've never seen moderation work, and I'm 45 next week lol. Stopped cigs, and alcohol cold turkey on January 19, 2019 without a problem.
You're welcome, Jonathon
Hi I'm dry 4 months now. After many attempts to quit. Where are these lovely walk your are going on while making there videos? Great advice here. Alcohol is poison. Has got me into many problems over the years.
@@peterhannon9972 Soon, time that you stopped will start flying by, and the reasons to ever drink again will go away. I'm in such better shape in every aspect compared to when I was drinking, and I can't think of anything that would make me want to "stop my streak" at this point.
@@peterhannon9972
I believe he’s in Spain
Stopped drinking in 2007 (37 years old )
In 2012 I met a sweet and beautiful woman who invited me home.
After dinner she came in to the sofa with a fine bottle of Barolo and asked if I would have a glass.
I immediately said yes and we had a great evening.
I then thought I had figured it out.
In 2017 i was back in the hospital shaking for a week.
Soon Celebrating 6 years and will not make that mistake again.
Congrats on your 6 years. The rest is history
I relapsed like that with my girlfriend I drank for years she didn't I'm an alcoholic and she would drink more than me and I would feel sick from colitis she would be fine even bought liquor for me had to stop her from buying litters could barely split a pint of wiskey with her cut way down but she was even hiding it drinking when I would ask her to stop buying it or drinking it near me I got 4 days now after losing a month sober
Alcohol is the most 😅insidious of all addictions, least of all because drinking is publicly encouraged, and even 😅ingrained into our reward systems. How many times has a person had to rationalise to others why they do not drink. This doesn’t happen with any other substance. Keep up the good work Kevin👍🙏
Thank you, Kevin! When I made a major promise to myself to never touch alcohol and/or any mind-altering drug ever again, I was determined to make it stick this time around. 2 years later, it's still going strong, and I'm very thankful. It's an all or nothing at all decision I had to make. 754 days sober as of right now.
Well done! It's liberating for sure. You got your power back!
@@fatherburning358 Thank you!!!!! 🥰
Well done, I’m on day 12 I feel a lot better , good luck to you 😃😃👍
@@Loulou-vs4xg Thank you!!! Currently, 763 days sober as of right now. Proud of you! Congrats on 12 days. Keep going! You're gonna do great in sobriety. 😁🥰
I've never successfully negotiated with evil. Blessings
6 weeks into not drinking and I'm going away to Melbourne this weekend with the wife and in the last 48 hours have been debating with myself about having a drink this weekend- "just a nice bottle of red with dinner" that will no doubt be followed with a couple (or three!) large glasses of Bushmills. I had actually decided I would have a drink this weekend but just watching this video has made me realise I'm falling into a trap! Thanks for all your content Kev - its spooky how perfect the timing is on this one!
I've fallen into the trap of allowing myself to drink on vacation... it's tripped me up THREE times! It always leads to me falling back into my old drinking pattern right away, and I am derailed for weeks or months. NOT worth it.
I am off to Saudie Arabia with my wife to visit our daughter. In the supermarket today I was tempted to buy a bottle of whiskey to celebrate , but didnt. Its funny these triggers. Its the devil,
How’d it go?
went well mate - Onwards and upwards
One author (Esther Lebeck Loveridge) put it this way: "Abstinence is the answer, no matter the addiction. Moderation keeps your head in the game." I love how a member of my alcohol group on FB put it: I can control my drinking or I can enjoy drinking, but not at the same time." It's absolutely exhausting dealing with the static in your brain, deciding each and every day if you are going to drink... a heavy drinker can always talk themselves into a drink. Better to shut that door firmly and reinforce to yourself: the answer is NO. There are no special set of circumstances that will arise that will mean the answer is to drink.
There is no moderation
With me, it was pissed or not at all
6 months in, I'm great. Nothing means nothing.
If we could moderate we would have already done that. Trying to moderate is such an incredible amount of work that ultimately ends up spiraling out of control. Sobriety is way easier in the long run.
Well said. Thank you.
And let's be brutally honest: heavy drinkers don't want to moderate; they just don't want to cut alcohol out of their lives completely. THAT is the reason they try to moderate. I know for me, one is too much, and a thousand is never enough, as the saying goes. So the correct # of drinks for me is zero.
one day at a time
It's the only way we can live :)
When I took away the hangover and sleeptime. drinking time and drunk time. that only left me with 5 hour left.
On my 3rdweek sober now and doing what I want to do instead of being a slave to cider.
"You are both the deluded and the one doing the deluding" I spat my coffee out in a recognition of myself moment. Such truth. This is why after 19 months alcohol free I still need to hear what you've got to say Kevin. I have been guilty of dangling the prospect of having "just a drink or two" maybe in some future scenario on a "special" occasion. Yep I have been deluding myself, because I just know it wouldn't stop at one or two. Thank you.
Im 2 years sober tomorrow so proud of my self for not touching a single drop. Honestly putting the bottle down changed my entire life. Finally feel like my life has worth. The self loathing and insanity levels of anxiety have mostly gone away, still have to work on my mental health everyday. But guys its totally possible to stay happy and sober dont give up you can all do it.
These videos are not only helpful in my early days of sobriety but as someone who lives in a big city, the imagery of the beautiful countryside are very soothing to go with my morning cup of coffee. Thank you!
Glad to help
Alcohol hinders your pre-frontal cortex and influences the decision making process.
Thats why so many of us may start out with the sincere desire to "only have one" and all the sudden we had like 20.
Yes im on 3 1/2 months sober ❤
Yeah bro. You speak truth. I remember the peak of my cognitive dissonance trials. The truth kept prodding my conscience, ahhh put that away with a few drinks. I hit the low and that was that. I couldnt accept my behaviour. Id endangered my child. I was defeated beyond belief, and surrendered to the once unacceptable truth. I was responsible. I did that. Me. I reached out to the local detox unit. 6 months later, medical assisted detox in hospital for safety, so no seizures and such. Fed and a bed. Best thing ive ever had the good fortune to experience. Im grateful. Im building my new life. Just like you did brother. Look at you now. Inspiring. I can see your a humble man. Thanks again for sharing your hard earned wisdom of experience 👍
Great to hear you're on track
Just pulling up on one month-ish for me. Went for an evening ride on my horse last night. What a difference riding is now for me, for US(my animals and me)!! No more cracking open a warm beer and having it foam out onto my saddle. No more saddle bag full of half crushed empty cans that clank and crinkle when i finally start loping along since i dont have to worry about shaking up full beers. Ugh. All my saddles are grubby on the right side from the beer spillage. Gonna get them all cleaned up to never be splashed again!!! But most of all, im mentally present for my horse. What a difference! Thankyou for your great videos.
It's a great start
Yeah, i knew trying to do moderation was just a lie I was telling myself. Sober over 7 mos. now. Love never feeling toxic inside from drinking!
31 days in. A new record! Did 30 last year as a "test' but knew at the start I'd be straight onto a bender at the end. Totally different this time. Knew what I wanted. Fully committed. Feels incredible! I'm actually starting to have goals and ambitions again. Never had the energy, confidence or mental clarity for those before. Massive thanks to this channel and Wes Watson for helping me develop the right mindset to kick drinking into irrelevance.😊
Where are you Kevin, it's beautiful!?
This is Northern Spain
I'm just starting my latest attempt at giving up..been 25 years of trying to moderate. thanks to all you guys for your reflections, it helps me put it in context..and thanks as always Kevin for your guidance
I just feel so much better emotionally. Things don't bother me as much, or I know the small things are unimportant now. Maybe it's a letting go process and self acceptance, appreciating who you are and being kind to yourself that can't happen if you're using alcohol or drugs to deaden the pain.
I tried to moderate one month ago. Didn't work out. Nothing dramatical, but I realised that the company I was with and the place I was spending time sucked me into the life of drinking alcohol. I really need to remove certain people of my life and create new me - sober, strong and healthy. Those are my new values now.
I've been trying to moderate for over 40 years, if that isn't insane thinking.....!
Yes. My thinking as well. I spent 30 years doing the same. I think we have a video on this channel called moderation insanity
He is right folks. I am 80 years. I have tried to get back to moderation , lord I have tried , over and over again. I enjoyed a drink , just one wont hurt , will it . But then you get it into your thick head , sadly , moderation is not now realisable . Never , never , will be again.
I think if you've ever been a heavy drinker, moderation is a fool's game. I said in a comment earlier here: heavy drinkers don't really want to moderate. They just don't want to cut alcohol out of their lives. If they're brutally honest with themselves, they know it's true. A member of my Facebook alcohol group put it this way: "I can control my drinking or I can enjoy my drinking, but not at the same time." I don't WANT one drink. I will never "want" one drink. So for me, one is too much, and 1,000 is never enough. Zero drinks is where I need to be.
Alcohol does not matter. The man does.
there is no moderation as Yoda says do or do not do...there is no try....
godspeed.
Oh for the times of the old Yoda :)
I dreamt last night that I was given two moscato drinks and realised it was alcohol. I felt very bad. I know I can't ever again have a single drink but love of a clean, productive, healthy life is way better.
Best channel on YT...thanks
I once bought 30 1/2 pints of whiskey. I told myself I would only drink one per night for a month. Well, that only lasted for 7 nights until I was opening up the other bottles. So much for that try on moderation.
When you're ready.
It can also be a trap. Waiting until the right moment... Every day you wait is another day gone forever
@@HabitsV2 I agree. Each day is filled with "traps" sir. Its what "YOU" want for yourself only. You are either better than that junky or not.
Once you’ve become addicted to anything. And I mean anything there is no such thing as controlling it.
I tried moderation for a couple years. Finally realized it was way too much effort and not very successful. 3.5 years alcohol free now. It’s a journey
Love your channel as a fellow Irishman. I'm not a big drinker. Maybe once a month at most and sometimes even only once every couple of months, but every time I drank, no matter how little the quantity, I felt absolutely lousy the next couple of days. Fear and loathing tinged with depression. Found out I was completely intolerant to wheat and most grains, so that explains a lot of it especially with beers. To be honest even if I drink vodka (gluten free) now I just don't get that buzz anymore. My brain just rejects that sense of a false reality. I did Ayahuasca a couple of years ago in Peru to deal with physical abuse I suffered as a child. I think it's ever since then, whatever the Ayahuasca did to me, I just don't enjoy alcohol anymore like I used to as a younger man. My father is an alcoholic, his father was too plus I think two of my brothers have issues with alcohol. So it's in the family. I hate what it does to people. The false ego and machismo it brings out. It's a poison pure and simple.
Very interesting. Through 2023, I’ve literally tried to enjoy alcohol but I can’t. I used to enjoy it (talking about in the early stages of a drink), but now from the first sip I feel like my body is rejecting it. This makes it easier to give up.
8 months 10 days , thank you sir your videos have been a blessing 👍 Mark Mcadams California USA 🇺🇸
moderating alcohol consumption is akin to moderating how much gasoline you drink.
In my opinion, caffeine and nicotine are WAY harder to quit. Alcohol was a breeze for me.
Great Video !
Glad you enjoyed it
I don’t try to moderate but I allow myself back in the drink at certain times and it’s no better . It feels really hard to tell yourself giving up is forever , that almost you an inferior being to the ones that can just drink normally . I relapsed on Wednesday and it’s only taken a few days to be right back at the bottom . The dreams and anxiety I had last night were unreal . I’m hoping I start to pick up now . Many thanks for these videos they give me a bit of hope 🙏
In defense of alcohol - it can be just something you have once or twice a week while in a social setting or after a long day of work - and it does enhance the experience and makes me feel better. I've gone on dates and social settings with just water and genuinely found it kind of boring. 3 or 4 pints made it more fun.
I have had periods where I upped my drinking to 4 or 5 nights a week (4 to 6 pints) and after a few weeks felt it was too much and cut back.
I tried fully sober and I just didnt enjoy life as much.
Thanks Kevin! Great message and video as always. I'm past one year now, and I can't say it's been easy. However, I've noticed I do much better at work and tackle life's problems better than when I used to deal with them by drinking. It's what you said about two paths of discomfort when temptations come, and I choose the path less travelled. And why not? the 30+ years of trouble drinking path sure did not have much pay off looking backwards. Alcohol never was a solution for me. Don't ever want to be back there. It's a daily thing though. But I feel so much better about life. Cautiously hopeful and optimistic! 👍
Well, I sent my alcoholic sister your contact info. I hope she can relate due to the scenery and dogs. I think she’s getting desperate since our last “fight” over her drinking. She hikes in the morning to pretend that she deserves a beer for lunch. Then it’s 6-7 drinks later every day before bedtime. 6-7 drinks? That’s nothing! That’s functioning! It’s funny, everyday at lunchtime, “How about a beer with your sandwich? Oh, that’s a good idea”! Like she hadn’t thought of that.
i’m just like her i work out in the mornings then straight to the store.
I may only speak for me , but why would you want to consume a poisonous drug in moderation after all? You consume drugs for the effects after all, and drug is always going to be abusive in the end. Period.
It's true
Thank you so much, Kevin.
I definitely cannot drink in moderation. 1 is too many and 1000 isn’t enough.
I’m California sober now.
Thanks!
I appreciate it. Thank you!
Matrix mind prison. 🥋🦍
You are a human that was born in a matrix mind prison. You are the most deadliest intelligent, and adaptable mammal that allows you to survive anywhere and travel any distance on water or ground without stopping. You are a monster released from slavery. You'll learn the rest as you go. Your body is your temple and most powerful weapon. RESPECT IT. You are a master
Last drink = Dec. 30 2022. 🙏 👍
How come this came up on my feed ?? !! Definitely feel the static in my brain. I can easily stop for Lent but not the everyday. Just finished a whole bottle of red 😢
Of course you can stop … just do it 👍
Went almost 3 years without drinking, now i am able to moderate. I only drink about 3 times a months and i almost always stop at 3 drinks.
Lots of people learn to moderate their drinking.
Moderation for me was 2-3. There was a time I could do that but then later that was 10-15. Waking up sweating like a pig asking why the hell did I do this. I even drank when I had covid for Christ sake thinking I would have withdrawals
I’ve found that you can’t moderate any drug. The best thing to do is never do any drugs in the first place, then you won’t need to quit them later on…
Any excuse will do,make new ones,
Alcohol just empty calories and plays havoc on your system. Doesn’t even make you feel good I’d rather go gym
Never worked for me. Only abstinence and a Program.
One of the best ways to break free from alcohol is to stop associating it with happiness or fun. Alcohol has no redeeming features.
I started taking vivatrol it was sapost to take the cravings away but hasn't done that yet there a few people on here that drink on it noxalone i think is the real name wasn't really what I wanted it just kinda gave me a way to cheat but i have to take drug tests so it gives me a small window to cheat on myself i have to stop drinking because of colitis it just makes it worse i might have to try something else
hey guys, i drink a bottle a night, but i noticed its getting hard to stop for 1 night, should i be worried? is this early days and should i stop now? or is 1 bottle a night considered ok?
Where are you walking in this?
Pretty blunt but true..
Most people can enjoy things like alcohol in moderation, just because a minority can’t control themselves why tar everyone with same brush , my four grandparents all lived until 92 at least and they all drank moderately, it’s narratives like this that get things banned eventually then moan
Excellent.