I never thought about visitation this way. We did not have a visitation for my mother (her choice), and you are SO right. Everytime I saw someone I knew, they wanted to express condolences. I felt that it drug out the sorrow for a very long time because with every hug you repeat the story of her death, reliving it all again. Wonderful information. Thank you.
I do have a story of a visitation that might shock ya as it did me. Well at my aunts visitation there were A LOT of gentlemen that were there in which almost all of the family did not know who they were. Our family did know our aunt had a past that was not known to most people since she was a reborn christian and had her own church at one time during her life. Well the past that was not known to most was she was a "call girl" and was still through her first few years of marriage, then she became reborn. So it turned out that the gentlemen were "clients" of hers that she had from her past. So talk about a shocking type of visitation to have lol
I like that story becaues It talks about redemption glad that she came to Jesus maybe after coming to Jesus she just wanted to forget about that part of her life n didn't want to tell anyone not everybody who turns there life around wants ppl to know about there past n Iam saying this with all respect that's just my opinion on it have a good awesome day
Another informative video, Kari! Great insight and a different perspective. I can recall as a young teenager, before attending my first visitation, I told my mother I didn't know what to say to the family of the deceased. Her response was to simply say "you have my deepest sympathy" and if I didn't feel comfortable saying anything, it was OK, since just my presence and effort to come pay my respects was sufficient. That holds true to this very day. Of course as an adult, I am much more comfortable in expressing my sincere condolences to the family of the deceased. It comes with age.
Well put Kari:) visitations absolutely have their place.....provides closure for most and the emotional support most families need.....remember years ago people said you always remember who came to the funeral home....well today at a lot of visitations I attend...I don't know the deceased but out of respect for my acquaintance with someone close to or related to the deceased, I'll go......folks if you can't attend, please sign the online guest book.....let these families know our thoughts and prayers and our love are with them ☺
My second question is this. When I went to spring grove cemetery and drove around I noticed some chapels around the grounds they were locked. Is this for safety reasons. I like the design of the buildings . It's a beautiful cemetery. It's kinda become my place to go to go to. To clear my head. I hope that is not weird.
Awesome video..thanks for sharing Kari.. Everytime I watch your videos something new I learned.. keep the great work.. I talking with people about you.. more subscribers to come you deserve it. God bless
Mom (RIP) told me years ago that it was common to have visitations/viewings at home. Supposedly as the story goes (from what I heard) is that some houses were built with this in mind. For instance some houses had a round room with the roof having a point on it (like a part of a castle room) to be reserved for future viewings. Another design, instead of a living room having a conventional flat wall with three windows, the middle wall/window would stick out in the middle and the wall/windows would be more retracted in. Think of a partial hex design for the living room built with future viewings in mind. Another thing I heard is that some houses had staircases with recessed windows in the middle and end of a staircase to facilitate the turning around of a casket for a viewing in an upstairs room. Have you heard anything about this? For your consideration. I know this maybe beyond the scope your channel... But if you can, could you discuss turn of the century and mid century house architecture (1900 - 1940's) that were supposedly designed with home viewings in mind? Or possibly interview someone who is an expert in the subject? It might be a subject that would go along with your channel and could be of interest to your subscribers. Thanks either way, thanks and enjoy your channel...
I have been to the Burial of a Man I didnt know. He got sick around the time he moved to town. He was the Fire Chief, he and his wife did Christmas for kids
Well stated, and good point ... 🌷 in hospice I have families (one in particular) that states “we are very private I don’t want people around” but truly this sums it up even for those who want it more private give a hour or two so to avoid more settings later on that may make them more uncomfortable
For my mother, we did not have a wake, but myself and my two sisters were given a moment with her the night before the funeral. It helped a great deal.
Hi gang....just some advice....please watch kari's video on pre planning and if possible call your director and set something up....my cousin was at the flea market Sunday and was fine.....he had an unexpected massive stroke last night while shopping and passed away....now his wife and kids are in a tizzy over arrangements...very difficult time....do your family a favor and spare them of this anguish if you can....you never know....PRE PLAN......
My moms kinda upset me. My dad was a Korean War vet. My dad died and they had everything paid for up front but she chose the free way out. Free funeral at her church no body not even his ashes. She did stuff he wouldn't even like but I do thank her for letting me view him at the funeral home. I mean i know he was just in the cooler but I got to see him. My mom has my dad's ashes in a box in a drawer at the house. Makes me sad. Inherited life insurance and over half a million dollars from workman's comp. She got her money back for the plots and didn't even bury him. Its her husband so I can say anything but just feels disrespectful. I mean if I wanted to visit the grave site I cant. Hope I didn't bother anyone with my story. I got his truck and she gave me his flag and his wedding band so that makes me feel a bit better. All we have is memories in the end but I wish he had been buried.
This is a great way to look at if your loved one has requested there not be a visitation. Likely it's the thought of having their body on display that they want to prevent. Talking with your loved ones before hand is crucial. If the person doesn't want people looking at their body there are ways to work around that and still have people give you support.
my dad died in 1988 and was a state of california employee at the department of motor vehicles (DMV) and he was well liked by every one and when we had the service we did not expect well over 150 people including the state director of the DMV.
Good morning Kari:) was at the visitation last night for my cousin "Butch" ..many people....a couple of things I took away......ours is a big family....10 siblings in his family....were many children at the visitation:) well behaved....they were allowed up at the casket...some had basic questions....some touched their uncle Butch...they hugged a Lot of us....I think it was wonderful and brought a sense of uplifting spirits to the room.....also loved the gift of a very large set of windchimes with his name on them....nice keepsake and lastly the casket had a beautiful light blue interior...the lid had sunbursts on the left and right and the insert panel had a beautiful going home with birds in flight....loved it...added a nice touch to the casket.....thanks:)
Kari Northey thanks:) I want that in my casket or gone fishing because I love to fish but I'm also a very devout Catholic with deep faith so probably going home:)
My mom already told me not to have a viewing because of the drama at my grams when she was a kid. I don't want one either. However, my mom wants a picnic in her honor
I will pray for him. God is loving and kind so I am certain he is at peace. Take some time and be kind to yourself. Talk with your friend when you have time to be alone. You will find closure, I promise.
THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME 💜 I HOPE WHEN I GO I HAVE SOMEONE WITH YOUR HEART TO WORK ON MY BODY AND TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY !!! GOD BLESS YOU - LOVE U IN JESUS NAME
I want to thank you for what you are doing. Death is a completely normal process and for you to help demystify it for us is a wonderful service. Better to be educated than to be fearful of something we are all going to do eventually. So, again, thank you for this.
I don't see my siblings since Mom died 9 yrs ago. I have no immediate family of my own. I've decided not to have a ⚱️ funeral at all. Cremation, no service. At this point, I know you & Josh, better than them. Maybe you guys could come to WI. You could push me in the retort. After, to the cemetery to bury my urn. It will be buried next to my uncle.(My urn was supposed to be buried on Mom's grave, however, the siblings kicked me off our family lot. I feel bad. I have the majority paid for. I need to pay off my monument yet.Question. the funeral home said they wash the body, & dress it for creamation. WHY??? I'LL be burned up??? They also said I'll likely be cremated in the clothes I come in with. I am doing something special. Nobody wanted my Mom's wedding dress. It's plain satin. I removed the train & the urn will be wrapped in it. That cemetery doesn't require a cremation vault. I always love watching.
While I do understand the 'all in one', visitation & funeral on the same day, I still prefer the visitation the day/night before the funeral whenever possible. This way that visitation is also beneficial to those who can't make it to the funeral the next day for whatever reason. My husband & his family still call it a 'wake' & every time I tell him 'No, it's a visitation because I have yet to see one 'wake up'... I know what he/they mean & where it comes from, it's just fun to tease him about it ;)
Thank you for this video. My Dad passed away 21/10/20.. We are having the visitation, viewing. I never thought of it, in this context. I lost my Mum in 1997. With the viewing at the time I seen it as morbid. I was obviously much younger and myself had nightmares, my mum died in my arms..
When my Uncle died in December suddenly I went to the visitation. My aunt was recieving people, and was really out of it. I was stuck on what to say. The visitation did give closure.
It’s getting very fashionable nowadays in America for the deceased to have no funeral. I just had a friend die who is being cremated with no funeral per his wishes. More Americans nowadays seem to be thinking that funerals are too expensive, morbid and unnecessary. I really believe this is flawed thinking. When my father died back in 1973, it was a 3 day process that I really needed. The day of his death was a day of grieving and receiving food from friends as well as making funeral arrangements. The second day was the visitation and open casket at the funeral home where friends and relatives stopped in to see my father one last time and to offer their condolences. That was really comforting to me and finally the third day was the funeral at the church, the burial service at the cemetery followed by the funeral dinner back at the church. There were lots of people around me those 3 days and it was very comforting. Same for my grandparents and mother. But it seems to be getting less and less nowadays and perhaps I’m old fashion but I don’t like seeing that trend. Just last night I told my niece that I want to buck that trend and prefer to have a wake followed by a funeral! I also want to be laid out in a nice stainless steel casket!
It was different with my Mom, but she did day-care in her home. I insisted I stand at the head of her casket. 4 hour visitation. Everybody, that came knew her. At the end, the funeral director said, you had at least 200 people thru. Visitation continued at church before the mass. There was a fair amount of people there. (Being a hairstylist, I did her hair. I also helped dress her. It was very peaceful. I knew the funeral director, after he gave me a hug. You guys are terrific.
I like the way of Judaism, but that’s me. If I’m not the way that you remember me, a quick funeral before the next sunset 🌅. Mourning time for me to be different thought a celebration and remember me as I was and love each other.
Dear Kari, Great video (as always). The next big question is whether to have a open or closed casket at the visitation. I'm seriously considering a green burial, (no embalming) I'm not too sure what I might look like. Is a closed casket best for this choice? 🤔
Yes, I totally agree with you. I know when people I have loved have died, it's been really heartwarming to have a receiving friends. My only thing is, I don't think a body is necessary to be seen by all. I have lost all of my grandparents. I was very close to all of them. I only saw one dead and it was because I was there when she passed. My mom asked if I wanted to go with her to the funeral home the next day to see her, but I didn't. She was cremated and we had her services with her urn. The grandparents that I didn't see dead, don't feel any different to me. I was still there for all of the services, however two were cremated and one my mom wouldn't let me because I was young and she said he didn't look good. He died during open heart surgery and was swollen, I think? Anyway, I don't know how I would feel if it was someone even closer to me, God forbid if I would need to see the body for closure or not. However, for that reason, I have told my husband that when I die, if he or the kids want to see me that's fine. I just don't want a bunch of people viewing my dead body. I just don't think that's how I would want people to remember me. I will probably be cremated though, so it won't be a problem.
Kari Northey Oh no! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I think people should have their funerals any way they want. I am just saying that if you don't see the body, its harder to deal with emotionally. I watched a undercover video of a sales woman at a funeral home telling a family that they needed to have their sister embalmed even though she was being cremated. When the woman asked why did her sister need to be embalmed, the funeral rep told her it's "necessary for closure and healing". However, she felt she had already gotten that closure because she was with her sister when she died. Then they made her go view her sister, but said it was for identification. The woman said it was just awful for her to see her sister like that. I get that because other than my husband, kids, and possibly my mom, I don't want a public viewing of my body when I am gone either! I am not saying that viewings are bad or that they don't help people, I am just saying that everyone is different! Its not so black and white. Some people may find healing and closure from a viewing and others may not. I just didn't like how that woman made it seem like you *have* to in order to heal. That's one reason I enjoy your channel so much, it's how apparent it is that you really care for the families that you service and want to make their experience the best you can! I also meant to say in my comment (if I didn't) that since I have never experienced someone super close to me dying, like my husband or something, I don't know how I would feel. Maybe seeing him one last time would help with my grief. If you would like to see that video I am talking about, its on RUclips. I can't remember the exact name of it, but its on a Canadian public broadcast network and its about people paying too much because of dishonest sells reps, mainly of big corporations. But I don't want that option taken away from people just because of my personal feelings about it. To each his own! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my comment! That was so kind of you and made my day! I absolutely love your channel and have probably watched every video of yours. You remind me of and look a lot like my doctor. Edit: I found the link: m.ruclips.net/video/xRNaqntsLPI/видео.html
Kari I have gone to visitation where people came for the family as the deceased was cremated, and some still had a funeral so you could go to one or the other.
Kari..,you are looking lovelier every day. Stay strong and have a good Festive Season. Death never takes a holiday so give yourself some "me time". Another years gone by, dear Lady Of Michigan so be happy in 2022. Very poignant video -Our last farewells have been too many this last two years..Best!..... TH the DJ XXXXXXXX
At my sister’s visitation, a relative told me, “I sure like those shoes you are wearing. Where can I get a pair?” I looked down and realized I was wearing shoes from two different pairs.
My close friend who held my hand through my first year after losing my dad passed away July 5 one day before her 36th birthday. Yesterday I went to her funeral and saw her in a different light. Her family are having her cremated tomorrow. The funeral/wake was in a church. Everyone around me was breaking down crying and screaming I couldn’t hold back my tears. I was told while she was in the hospital she stopped breathing and that was one of the biggest reasons she was admitted. I never thought this would happen so I’m feeling very depressed and scared. I was listening when you said about 70 percent of the people who attend funerals didn’t know the deceased. On average how many funerals does a person attend in there lifetime? One thing I noticed about my friend was how stiff she was. Especially when I kissed her on the forehead. The funeral director did a horrible job on her makeup it looked dried out and matted. He also glued false eyelashes on her. I didn’t understand why she was in such a pretty casket when she wasn’t being buried due to money issues. I didn’t question her family about it. And I couldn’t even donate any money towards her funeral or just to set aside money for her 9 year old son. And this was because I’m on a fixed income. How do I establish my own life insurance policy? I’m 44 and in not so great health myself. I’m on blood thinners because back in 2012 i had developed a bilateral pulmonary embolism which came back in 2013. I had a cancerous tumor removed this past January. And I’m on a lot of medication. Thanks for letting me vent. 😭🕊
Kari Northey I’m still healing from the surgery and I need for them to evaluate me to make sure it hasn’t come back. The scar is still red and has keloid. I’ve been having bought’s with gastritis so I’m going to see my GI doctor soon.
Hi Kari! I am a senior in high school and am wanting to maybe go into the funeral profession. However, I have witnessed one embalming and want no part of it. I still want to direct, do make-up, and dress. Is it possible to find a job where I don't have to emblam?
hi josh I am also a senior looking to go into the funeral profession! If you dont mind me asking, how did you get the opportunity to witness an embalming? I have been trying to find ways to shadow before fully committing to the funeral business
Hi Josh! As you are just a senior in high school, 17 or 18 years old. It's hard to judge at this time whether or not you can handle embalming or not. The first time is usually the hardest. You should go through the classes & book work, and try again. I had a friend who was the "faint at heart" kind of person in high school, after medical nursing school she ended up working in a hospital trauma unit & loving her job. Who knew? College & time really changed her!
great info. I had a neborgh I grew up with mother passed and they never posted or said when or where the service would be I thought that was rude even after he said he would let me know.
I never thought about visitation this way. We did not have a visitation for my mother (her choice), and you are SO right. Everytime I saw someone I knew, they wanted to express condolences. I felt that it drug out the sorrow for a very long time because with every hug you repeat the story of her death, reliving it all again. Wonderful information. Thank you.
I do have a story of a visitation that might shock ya as it did me. Well at my aunts visitation there were A LOT of gentlemen that were there in which almost all of the family did not know who they were. Our family did know our aunt had a past that was not known to most people since she was a reborn christian and had her own church at one time during her life. Well the past that was not known to most was she was a "call girl" and was still through her first few years of marriage, then she became reborn. So it turned out that the gentlemen were "clients" of hers that she had from her past. So talk about a shocking type of visitation to have lol
I like that story becaues It talks about redemption glad that she came to Jesus maybe after coming to Jesus she just wanted to forget about that part of her life n didn't want to tell anyone not everybody who turns there life around wants ppl to know about there past n Iam saying this with all respect that's just my opinion on it have a good awesome day
@@KaritheMortician
Lol
Yes literally at one time more then once
Another informative video, Kari! Great insight and a different perspective. I can recall as a young teenager, before attending my first visitation, I told my mother I didn't know what to say to the family of the deceased. Her response was to simply say "you have my deepest sympathy" and if I didn't feel comfortable saying anything, it was OK, since just my presence and effort to come pay my respects was sufficient. That holds true to this very day. Of course as an adult, I am much more comfortable in expressing my sincere condolences to the family of the deceased. It comes with age.
Well put Kari:) visitations absolutely have their place.....provides closure for most and the emotional support most families need.....remember years ago people said you always remember who came to the funeral home....well today at a lot of visitations I attend...I don't know the deceased but out of respect for my acquaintance with someone close to or related to the deceased, I'll go......folks if you can't attend, please sign the online guest book.....let these families know our thoughts and prayers and our love are with them ☺
Over 70% don't know the deceased? Who knew! Good info 👍
My second question is this. When I went to spring grove cemetery and drove around I noticed some chapels around the grounds they were locked. Is this for safety reasons. I like the design of the buildings . It's a beautiful cemetery. It's kinda become my place to go to go to. To clear my head. I hope that is not weird.
Not weird at all. Cemeteries are peaceful and sacred. I do the same thing.
Awesome video..thanks for sharing Kari.. Everytime I watch your videos something new I learned.. keep the great work.. I talking with people about you.. more subscribers to come you deserve it. God bless
Mom (RIP) told me years ago that it was common to have visitations/viewings at home. Supposedly as the story goes (from what I heard) is that some houses were built with this in mind. For instance some houses had a round room with the roof having a point on it (like a part of a castle room) to be reserved for future viewings. Another design, instead of a living room having a conventional flat wall with three windows, the middle wall/window would stick out in the middle and the wall/windows would be more retracted in. Think of a partial hex design for the living room built with future viewings in mind. Another thing I heard is that some houses had staircases with recessed windows in the middle and end of a staircase to facilitate the turning around of a casket for a viewing in an upstairs room. Have you heard anything about this?
For your consideration. I know this maybe beyond the scope your channel... But if you can, could you discuss turn of the century and mid century house architecture (1900 - 1940's) that were supposedly designed with home viewings in mind? Or possibly interview someone who is an expert in the subject? It might be a subject that would go along with your channel and could be of interest to your subscribers. Thanks either way, thanks and enjoy your channel...
I have been to the Burial of a Man I didnt know.
He got sick around the time he moved to town.
He was the Fire Chief, he and his wife did Christmas for kids
Very sweet
Thank you Kari, very good information and advice as always.
Well stated, and good point ... 🌷 in hospice I have families (one in particular) that states “we are very private I don’t want people around” but truly this sums it up even for those who want it more private give a hour or two so to avoid more settings later on that may make them more uncomfortable
For my mother, we did not have a wake, but myself and my two sisters were given a moment with her the night before the funeral. It helped a great deal.
Hi gang....just some advice....please watch kari's video on pre planning and if possible call your director and set something up....my cousin was at the flea market Sunday and was fine.....he had an unexpected massive stroke last night while shopping and passed away....now his wife and kids are in a tizzy over arrangements...very difficult time....do your family a favor and spare them of this anguish if you can....you never know....PRE PLAN......
My moms kinda upset me. My dad was a Korean War vet. My dad died and they had everything paid for up front but she chose the free way out. Free funeral at her church no body not even his ashes. She did stuff he wouldn't even like but I do thank her for letting me view him at the funeral home. I mean i know he was just in the cooler but I got to see him. My mom has my dad's ashes in a box in a drawer at the house. Makes me sad. Inherited life insurance and over half a million dollars from workman's comp. She got her money back for the plots and didn't even bury him. Its her husband so I can say anything but just feels disrespectful. I mean if I wanted to visit the grave site I cant. Hope I didn't bother anyone with my story. I got his truck and she gave me his flag and his wedding band so that makes me feel a bit better. All we have is memories in the end but I wish he had been buried.
Sorry that you were not able to do what you wanted for him
Gives people the opportunity to make sure I am dead.
lol :)
prefer the word visitation
do not like the word
viewing
The visitation may include reviewal, but not necessarily.
Wow, wish I’d been aware of that in the 2010's when my parents died. It makes sense. Get it all done at once.
:)
This is a great way to look at if your loved one has requested there not be a visitation. Likely it's the thought of having their body on display that they want to prevent. Talking with your loved ones before hand is crucial. If the person doesn't want people looking at their body there are ways to work around that and still have people give you support.
my dad died in 1988 and was a state of california employee at the department of motor vehicles (DMV) and he was well liked by every one and when we had the service we did not expect well over 150 people including the state director of the DMV.
Good morning Kari:) was at the visitation last night for my cousin "Butch" ..many people....a couple of things I took away......ours is a big family....10 siblings in his family....were many children at the visitation:) well behaved....they were allowed up at the casket...some had basic questions....some touched their uncle Butch...they hugged a Lot of us....I think it was wonderful and brought a sense of uplifting spirits to the room.....also loved the gift of a very large set of windchimes with his name on them....nice keepsake and lastly the casket had a beautiful light blue interior...the lid had sunbursts on the left and right and the insert panel had a beautiful going home with birds in flight....loved it...added a nice touch to the casket.....thanks:)
Kari Northey thanks:) I want that in my casket or gone fishing because I love to fish but I'm also a very devout Catholic with deep faith so probably going home:)
My mom already told me not to have a viewing because of the drama at my grams when she was a kid. I don't want one either.
However, my mom wants a picnic in her honor
iwant a family gathering at a yaught club at mine im getting creamated
my friend just committed suicide and I don't think I'll ever have real closure as he didn't want visitation.
Dani Hulfachor will pray for you and your friend...that's very sad....
thank you so much, I am absolutely devastated. I hope he found the peace he couldn't find here on earth :(
I will pray for him. God is loving and kind so I am certain he is at peace. Take some time and be kind to yourself. Talk with your friend when you have time to be alone. You will find closure, I promise.
Thank you so much ♡
Dani Hulfachor you are so very welcome.❤️
THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME 💜 I HOPE WHEN I GO I HAVE SOMEONE WITH YOUR HEART TO WORK ON MY BODY AND TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY !!! GOD BLESS YOU - LOVE U IN JESUS NAME
I want to thank you for what you are doing. Death is a completely normal process and for you to help demystify it for us is a wonderful service. Better to be educated than to be fearful of something we are all going to do eventually. So, again, thank you for this.
@@KaritheMortician You are most welcome. Have a great weekend. :)
I don't see my siblings since Mom died 9 yrs ago. I have no immediate family of my own. I've decided not to have a ⚱️ funeral at all. Cremation, no service. At this point, I know you & Josh, better than them. Maybe you guys could come to WI. You could push me in the retort. After, to the cemetery to bury my urn. It will be buried next to my uncle.(My urn was supposed to be buried on Mom's grave, however, the siblings kicked me off our family lot. I feel bad. I have the majority paid for. I need to pay off my monument yet.Question. the funeral home said they wash the body, & dress it for creamation. WHY??? I'LL be burned up??? They also said I'll likely be cremated in the clothes I come in with. I am doing something special. Nobody wanted my Mom's wedding dress. It's plain satin. I removed the train & the urn will be wrapped in it. That cemetery doesn't require a cremation vault. I always love watching.
They will if you bring clothing
While I do understand the 'all in one', visitation & funeral on the same day, I still prefer the visitation the day/night before the funeral whenever possible. This way that visitation is also beneficial to those who can't make it to the funeral the next day for whatever reason. My husband & his family still call it a 'wake' & every time I tell him 'No, it's a visitation because I have yet to see one 'wake up'... I know what he/they mean & where it comes from, it's just fun to tease him about it ;)
Thank you!
Thank you for this video. My Dad passed away 21/10/20.. We are having the visitation, viewing. I never thought of it, in this context. I lost my Mum in 1997. With the viewing at the time I seen it as morbid. I was obviously much younger and myself had nightmares, my mum died in my arms..
When my Uncle died in December suddenly I went to the visitation. My aunt was recieving people, and was really out of it. I was stuck on what to say. The visitation did give closure.
It’s getting very fashionable nowadays in America for the deceased to have no funeral. I just had a friend die who is being cremated with no funeral per his wishes. More Americans nowadays seem to be thinking that funerals are too expensive, morbid and unnecessary. I really believe this is flawed thinking. When my father died back in 1973, it was a 3 day process that I really needed. The day of his death was a day of grieving and receiving food from friends as well as making funeral arrangements. The second day was the visitation and open casket at the funeral home where friends and relatives stopped in to see my father one last time and to offer their condolences. That was really comforting to me and finally the third day was the funeral at the church, the burial service at the cemetery followed by the funeral dinner back at the church. There were lots of people around me those 3 days and it was very comforting. Same for my grandparents and mother. But it seems to be getting less and less nowadays and perhaps I’m old fashion but I don’t like seeing that trend. Just last night I told my niece that I want to buck that trend and prefer to have a wake followed by a funeral! I also want to be laid out in a nice stainless steel casket!
It is which is sad for the living
It was different with my Mom, but she did day-care in her home. I insisted I stand at the head of her casket. 4 hour visitation. Everybody, that came knew her. At the end, the funeral director said, you had at least 200 people thru. Visitation continued at church before the mass. There was a fair amount of people there. (Being a hairstylist, I did her hair. I also helped dress her. It was very peaceful. I knew the funeral director, after he gave me a hug. You guys are terrific.
thank you
I like the way of Judaism, but that’s me. If I’m not the way that you remember me, a quick funeral before the next sunset 🌅. Mourning time for me to be different thought a celebration and remember me as I was and love each other.
Dear Kari, Great video (as always).
The next big question is whether to have a open or closed casket at the visitation. I'm seriously considering a green burial, (no embalming) I'm not too sure what I might look like. Is a closed casket best for this choice? 🤔
Very good advice, as always, Ms. Kari.
How many resdients do you have in the funreal home before you prepare them for burial
Hi Keri
I'm from England and have recently been watching your video's, is the English proparing procedure the same as America's?
Love your videos 💜💜
my friend just committed suicide and I don't think I'll ever have real closure as he didn't want visitation.
no :( and he was cremated no grave site.
That's good information never thought of it that way before but that is a good idea. 👍👍👍😎🙏
Yes, I totally agree with you. I know when people I have loved have died, it's been really heartwarming to have a receiving friends. My only thing is, I don't think a body is necessary to be seen by all. I have lost all of my grandparents. I was very close to all of them. I only saw one dead and it was because I was there when she passed. My mom asked if I wanted to go with her to the funeral home the next day to see her, but I didn't. She was cremated and we had her services with her urn. The grandparents that I didn't see dead, don't feel any different to me. I was still there for all of the services, however two were cremated and one my mom wouldn't let me because I was young and she said he didn't look good. He died during open heart surgery and was swollen, I think? Anyway, I don't know how I would feel if it was someone even closer to me, God forbid if I would need to see the body for closure or not. However, for that reason, I have told my husband that when I die, if he or the kids want to see me that's fine. I just don't want a bunch of people viewing my dead body. I just don't think that's how I would want people to remember me. I will probably be cremated though, so it won't be a problem.
Kari Northey Oh no! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I think people should have their funerals any way they want. I am just saying that if you don't see the body, its harder to deal with emotionally. I watched a undercover video of a sales woman at a funeral home telling a family that they needed to have their sister embalmed even though she was being cremated. When the woman asked why did her sister need to be embalmed, the funeral rep told her it's "necessary for closure and healing". However, she felt she had already gotten that closure because she was with her sister when she died. Then they made her go view her sister, but said it was for identification. The woman said it was just awful for her to see her sister like that. I get that because other than my husband, kids, and possibly my mom, I don't want a public viewing of my body when I am gone either! I am not saying that viewings are bad or that they don't help people, I am just saying that everyone is different! Its not so black and white. Some people may find healing and closure from a viewing and others may not. I just didn't like how that woman made it seem like you *have* to in order to heal. That's one reason I enjoy your channel so much, it's how apparent it is that you really care for the families that you service and want to make their experience the best you can! I also meant to say in my comment (if I didn't) that since I have never experienced someone super close to me dying, like my husband or something, I don't know how I would feel. Maybe seeing him one last time would help with my grief. If you would like to see that video I am talking about, its on RUclips. I can't remember the exact name of it, but its on a Canadian public broadcast network and its about people paying too much because of dishonest sells reps, mainly of big corporations. But I don't want that option taken away from people just because of my personal feelings about it. To each his own! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my comment! That was so kind of you and made my day! I absolutely love your channel and have probably watched every video of yours. You remind me of and look a lot like my doctor.
Edit: I found the link: m.ruclips.net/video/xRNaqntsLPI/видео.html
Did you post this because I don’t want viewing or visitation? LOL
Kari I have gone to visitation where people came for the family as the deceased was cremated, and some still had a funeral so you could go to one or the other.
Kari..,you are looking lovelier every day. Stay strong and have a good Festive Season. Death never takes a holiday so give yourself some "me time". Another years gone by, dear Lady Of Michigan so be happy in 2022. Very poignant video -Our last farewells have been too many this last two years..Best!..... TH the DJ XXXXXXXX
The Irish do his really well. It's all part and parcel of the mourning process
At my sister’s visitation, a relative told me, “I sure like those shoes you are wearing. Where can I get a pair?” I looked down and realized I was wearing shoes from two different pairs.
I never thought of it this way. Thank you, I can see the benefits of doing this.
My close friend who held my hand through my first year after losing my dad passed away July 5 one day before her 36th birthday. Yesterday I went to her funeral and saw her in a different light. Her family are having her cremated tomorrow. The funeral/wake was in a church. Everyone around me was breaking down crying and screaming I couldn’t hold back my tears. I was told while she was in the hospital she stopped breathing and that was one of the biggest reasons she was admitted. I never thought this would happen so I’m feeling very depressed and scared. I was listening when you said about 70 percent of the people who attend funerals didn’t know the deceased. On average how many funerals does a person attend in there lifetime? One thing I noticed about my friend was how stiff she was. Especially when I kissed her on the forehead. The funeral director did a horrible job on her makeup it looked dried out and matted. He also glued false eyelashes on her. I didn’t understand why she was in such a pretty casket when she wasn’t being buried due to money issues. I didn’t question her family about it. And I couldn’t even donate any money towards her funeral or just to set aside money for her 9 year old son. And this was because I’m on a fixed income. How do I establish my own life insurance policy? I’m 44 and in not so great health myself. I’m on blood thinners because back in 2012 i had developed a bilateral pulmonary embolism which came back in 2013. I had a cancerous tumor removed this past January. And I’m on a lot of medication. Thanks for letting me vent. 😭🕊
Kari Northey I’m still healing from the surgery and I need for them to evaluate me to make sure it hasn’t come back. The scar is still red and has keloid. I’ve been having bought’s with gastritis so I’m going to see my GI doctor soon.
Kari Northey thank you for the advice. I’m taking things a moment at a time. 🙏🏼
Thanks from Amsterdam.
Great point. Thank you for sharing this.
Great thoughts in regards to the subject. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Kari! I am a senior in high school and am wanting to maybe go into the funeral profession. However, I have witnessed one embalming and want no part of it. I still want to direct, do make-up, and dress. Is it possible to find a job where I don't have to emblam?
hi josh I am also a senior looking to go into the funeral profession! If you dont mind me asking, how did you get the opportunity to witness an embalming? I have been trying to find ways to shadow before fully committing to the funeral business
I went to a local college and sat in on a class with a cadaver. I would try calling local universities to see if you can sit in on a class!
Hi Josh! As you are just a senior in high school, 17 or 18 years old. It's hard to judge at this time whether or not you can handle embalming or not. The first time is usually the hardest. You should go through the classes & book work, and try again. I had a friend who was the "faint at heart" kind of person in high school, after medical nursing school she ended up working in a hospital trauma unit & loving her job. Who knew? College & time really changed her!
Right now I live in Omaha, Nebraska but plan on moving to Traverse City, MI in the spring!
great info. I had a neborgh I grew up with mother passed and they never posted or said when or where the service would be I thought that was rude even after he said he would let me know.
I thought about that too.