I'm 28 and as someone that struggles with anxiety and has panic attacks and all, I just can't imagine doing it on my own... This is heartbreaking. Sending love and strength❤
As a mom myself, I know that these women do not want to give away their kids. They are just ranting, they are frustrated. What these women need is a BREAK, regular breaks are necessary. They are experiencing « mommy burnout ». Where are their family members ?
Where the F are the fathers? If fathers put as much effort In actually raising the kids they made as they do when they cheat, & maintain their hobbies , women wouldn’t be so burnt out & resentful
The mom at 9:55 are speaking facts. Every mother been there. Even those that lie to young women talking about it’s a beautiful thing. That’s why some of these stay at home mom’s be drinking. Especially, those that end up having 3 to 4 kids and being a stay at home… I could never.
Misery loves company. Parents will see you thriving while being child free and try to convince you to get married and have kids. Knowing damn well they are extremely miserable on the inside. Then they crack like the woman in the video behind closed doors after they are overwhelmed and alone to do a two-parent job while married! It’s a no for me too!
I'm 52 now, and if I knew then what I know now, I would've only had my first daughter. She was easy from birth to today (she's 23). I'm not speaking against my last 2 kids; I love those precious human beings....I'm speaking specifically about the mental health aspect of it. The stress is not really about the kids but about the other negative circumstances that adversely affect the positive experience of parenthood - the unempathetic spouse/partner, no familial or friend support system, unresolved past traumas that we hide from others, missed opportunities to achieve personal goals, societal or religious pressures to meet expected milestones, etc. Every single human is a hypocrite & we live by contradictions & we project them onto each other. Just think hard enough & honest enough and you'll see it. I wish we weren't like this. We are definitely in need of a Savior and not the false anti-christ one. Stay alert for the real one.
Religion is one of humanities biggest problems. There is no saviour, there won't be a doomsday. But a lot of christians are subconciously working towards that happening. Religion is evil.
@@GoldenArmory If we could save ourselves, we wouldn't be in America to this day, and no colonizer would've ever stepped on African soil and left alive.
11:38 mom’s literally can leave…they can choose to be absentee/deadbeat parents just like men do all the time. There is honor in what she is saying & it is a nice way for moms struggling to be able to look at things. Despite how hard it is being a mother they are choosing to stay.
I have an ideal ladies… sign all rights to the father. Stop being single mother’s and take them straight to court and tell the judge you want to sign your paternal rights to the father. Now don’t keep having babies after babies learn from your mistakes.
We have been saying that since last year and women have ING been getting mad with all kids of excuses. Most women said they wont leave their child with a man. But the man is their father.🧐🧐🧐🧐So hes good enough to conceive with but not good enough to be trusted with his child.
We need better sexual education classes to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs. And honest information about the risks of pregnancy, the traumatic experience of natural birth, normalizing c- sections and honest conversations about all the work that motherhood means. And how kids can be. Can't be that schools don't teach this. Nope, can't be private because a lot of people have no clue about that stuff themselves or are religious xxxx who are against education about reproduction.
There's plenty of sex education classes. People STILL do what the fuck they wanna do and not take accountability for their actions! Instead, they wanna blame schools and other unrelated factors to why they don't want to keep their legs shut and their dicks in their pants! They make up excuses like: • "birth control isn't always affective." • "condoms break." If "birth control isn't always affective" and "condoms break", why the fuck have sex then?!?!??? What's wrong abstinence???? Why are people so against being abstinent?!?!???? I was given the sex talk by my mother at age 10 of 11, long BEFORE it was taught in school. Thankfully, my mother kept it real and kept the conversation open in case I had any questions. She outright told me that sex is when a man's penis goes into a woman's vagina! There was no "birds and the bees" because she didn't know what that meant. You can't teach what you don't know. She knew what a bird was. She knew what a bee was. She didn't know what they had to do with each other because they're two different species that literally can't mate nor reproduce! Anyway, she taught me about periods, where babies come from, the whole nine yards. I'm thankful she taught me what she knew because by the time sex ed was taught, I already knew what they were teaching and talking about. Plus, the sex education classes I took in highschool taught us about STD's and showed graphic pictures of said STD's. We saw genital warts and different genital discharges that can happen if someone contracts an STD's. We were taught about different antibiotics and shots people can take/get if someone passes an STD onto them. Hell, we even saw a film called "The Miracle of Life" where some redhead woman with a hairy red coochie gave birth to triplets! We saw what a vaginal birth looked like and what a C-section looked like! You'd think after all that it would've deterred someone from screwing and clearly, it doesn't! People who don't teach their kids about sex at home are doing their children a disservice! And shaming people who are abstinent, calling them "prude", all because they don't suck and fuck everything in sight and isn't into hookup culture, doesn't help! And/or making false claims that they're "waiting for marriage", doesn't help either! Everyone ISN'T religious, nor waiting for marriage! There's people like me who don't even believe in marriage, along with not being devoutly religious! We need to normalize abstinence, teaching kids about sex at home (and school) and not blaming schools for personal actions that people make of their own free will! Better yet, let's stop having kids all together that way we ain't gotta teach them shit! Its not like they asked nor chose to be here in the first place!
Mothers have it way too hard which is why I am happy the child free movement is growing and the birthrate is falling. Much much more support is needed for mothers. No one should have to suffer so much.
Watching this I felt a real sense of deja vu then realized I saw this in another channel a few days ago. Babies are cute and tiny but the crying, the noice, the constant questions, the constant tantrums, the picking eating, always sick, and having to be responsible for that child or children 24/7 aaallllll day EVERY DAY. Helll no. I have felt this way since I myself was a child. I would go crazy. I don’t even like being around ppl too long that’s why I work nights.
The lady with the scarf on is spitting pure facts. I have a friend, right now, married, with 3 kids, and she is literally a "married single mother". Husband pitches in sometimes, but she is doing the most of the work. Like this lady told me " when you are making the decision to bare children, also be prepared to do it by yourself ".
The woman in the red top really needs help. Taking care of the kids 24/7 without enough sleep or time to rest is driving her over the edge. I just hope the husband sees the video and offers to get her help or step up to the plate when he gets back from work to relieve her from the parenting duties. If I was staying close by, Iwould definitely baby sit for a few hours so she could rest and reset. It really does take a village to raise a child.
As if a husband that threats her like that changes his behaviour because of a TikTok. If a mature conversation doesn't help he isn't mature enough to get it. She can give the kids to fostercare.
And those babies can feel when mom is stressed and depressed. They will act worse. Please don’t do it ladies. I have 2 boys (11&16) and NOBODY told me the honest truth about it. I wasn’t prepared and I’m not a single mom but the dads don’t do NEARLY enough and u can’t MAKE THEM. THINK TWICE!
I wish I knew her I would help. We all need each other. I am here, is she in Ohio?? We all as women know what this feels like. We need each other. Remember it takes a village...we need to go back to the old ways, natural law. Benefiting each other, supporting each other. Love to all moms!!!
Do you have a parents café nearby? You can volunteer there and watch children and do stuff with them while the mothers can either have a free coffee or have a few hours for themselves. You can help founding such a Café if your city hasn't one.
You know what killed the village? The push for nuclear families in suburbia. I have a few very good friends and a lot of aquintances. I am a very active person. A lot if people just wanna sit at home. That's not how you find friends.
Thank you! Destiny Uteh for creating this platform so we can have these conversations, as a young adult it's great to see that they are others that share my point of view and that their is a safe space to discuss them.❤😊
This is an observation not a critique...but I noticed that alot of women get married or have kids and stop hanging with their single girlfriends in favor of other married couples or ppl with kids. This happened with my sister and two of my friends. I tried to keep the relationships strong, but eventually had to release it, cause they were focused on their new lives, and I focused on the single life. It was a hard adjustment at first. But now that I'm hearing these stories... I think it's the single friends who probably could have helped out babysitting for a couple of hours here and there... but since those relationships were severed, there goes the support system. Other married friends are in the same boat with kids and can't help out as much.
Why should I do the work of the father? I am childfree for a reason. I am 21 and none of my close friends want children. But they all know I have tocophobia and that I get nauseus just being nearby a baby womb. I will come back when the child is grown. Not participating in a "child - raise - village". Sorry, there are Videogames I have to play.
That saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"is true. I a friend that was married with 5 children and a nephew she taking care of. I would watch her children while she went to college. She graduated and got her degree and was able to help support the family. If she didn't have a support system it would have been harder for her. Support is important. 8-16-2023(Wed)
Post partum depression and psychosis are real...especially if you are alone ( no support system or the man that participated in said product walked away) it more than some can even comprehend
I saw a few news shorts about "baby boxes" in the US and Japan. Women who know they cant take care of an infant after being born can go by a fire station or hospital and put the baby in a secure, comfortable, and insulated box and leave. An alarm in the box alerts the proper authorities and they take the child to adoption. Unfortunately these boxes aren't everywhere.
But everybody knows you had a child. Can't hide a babywomb. Only morbidly obese women can hide that. It is okay to give a child to a fosterbhome. These babies end up there anywhere before they get adopted. But having access to legal abortion is also important.
I swear this breaks my heart… giving away your child has to be the hardest thing. Dealing with my 4 year old is not easy but i can never imagine myself dropping my 4 year old, I love her, I had her and I will take care of her to the best of my ability.Can’t they create programs to help moms instead…? Give them a psychologist, give them a nanny… this is disgusting. These kids didn’t ask to be here.
We defenetely need more mommy Communities. That would help a lot of single women. The government wants children so they should pay to give children a good lufe. I hate this political system that only benefits corrupt politicians and rich people who exploit poor people. And obviously hates women. Sometimes I think they see motherhood as a punishment. And honestly it looks like endless misery to me. Motherhood income and mommy communities would help women and children.
And that’s why you shouldn’t have children for a man who’s not financially sound. You’re going to need his money to hire extra help (nanny, housekeeper etc..). Don’t entertain broke men!!!
Don't have children when you can't afford them yourself. A man can just take his money and walk away. Better save money and move in with other mothers. Mommy communities are better than just looking for money instead of love.
You missed the whole “Pack up and leave” message….. She absolutely can pack up and leave…. Just like fathers do- EVERYDAY! However, she chooses, we choose, to stick around and be accountable.
I understand the first mom's point about "no one taking care of your kids like you". As well as the last mom's point about men being in the home and not helping/making things worse. The problem is the incompetence of a lot of these dad's. They (MOST OF THEM) half ass do things or don't do them at all and THAT makes the "help" you get from them feel null and void. I can't stop being anxious or try to get some rest when you (FINALLY do) have the baby if you're not going to hold her head properly, burp her enough, STAY AWAKE while you're watching her, feed her on time, or know how to console her etc (my daughter's dad came by to visit her, so I used that opportunity to take a bath (for the first time in months - I only have time to shower), my daughter screamed the entire time I was soaking/bathing. He couldn't get her to stop crying ONCE). These men are lazy and/or incompetent. Very few are *heavily* involved and actually do a quality job of raising and parenting their children. Also, not having support and breaks exasperates post partum depression. Do NOT have kids if you can't afford child care and a sitter AND have a full support system (not including the dad. Dad's can mentally check out and/or abandon their kids, sorry, but they do so, pretend he wouldn't exist or worse, he'd watch you suffer in the house and still ask for seggs, a clean house, and for you to have a joyful attitude while you're feeling used, depressed, and isolated.) And then answer the question, do you still want kids? If you can see having kids as the nightmare it COULD be and you have the finances (on your own) and resources to take care of your children then, go for it. Otherwise don't do.
Not all women are meant to be mothers which I think is something we need to honor as a society also planning your family /children so you’re not overwhelmed is also important - every single one of these women are either single moms or have kids close together my mum had 5 (two sets of twins) it’s no wonder she was overwhelmed …it’s not surprising these women are finding things difficult 1 is still a lot without help/support let alone multiple children
I made a decision that if I can't afford a certain life for my children, I won't have them - and it was an ambitious one. That is regardless of the financial status of their father - just in case he disappointed me. I went through financial troubles as a child and I was never going to let my children suffer in any way including emotionally. I migrated so it took a while to settle down. I'm now in my 40s, no child but doing okay. I still stand with that, given my circumstances then. However, I wish we had therapy then because I would have known that the man you choose makes the difference. knowing your worth and how to sieve out the worst and only entertain the best (you would know the right characteristics to choose). That's what I would tell the young ladies - deal with your trauma so that you can make the best choices. Good men are out there, we even see them on RUclips, supporting their spouses and families, choosing to stay forever.
Can a mother tell me what they would expect from friends or family members or others? Like what could be done to help you feel less stressed or anxious? What are the parents expecting other people to do exactly? I’m genuinely curious.
Honestly, family and friends eventually judge you for everything you do for your children and have a negative opinion in the long run. To feel less stress I would have a family member watch them in my home so I can get some sleep or enroll them daycare or school. All we really want is a village to help us out.
It's sad to see these women complaining about being a mother. However, what's the point of having more than one baby when you could not handle taking care of the first baby?
Maybe birth control wasn’t effective, maybe husbands promised to be there but then weren’t after the child was born. Yes though, women need to stop having all these kids just to keep a man or to try to change him. Women need to stop having all these kids they can’t handle mentally, emotionally & financially. Protect your womb
Imma make sure that my daughter's set themselves up nicely before going into marriage and family. And I will be SURE to let their husband know that if they EVER mistreat my daughter and ignore her like trash, she will take the kids and move in with me and he can pay a crap ton of child support. I am living this, this is my life, and I will be making sure my daughters have the support they need and a way out of they need it because these women do not have the support they need and they have no one to help out. You don't know if they were married to the father or not, some are married and some arent but nobody should have to raise children alone, it's intense. They say it takes a village for a reason. It's HARD to do it alone.
Please don’t stop posting these because I was just thinking that maybe kids aren’t that bad. Bc some other RUclipsr was on the fence & I was watching her video thinking okay… maybe it’s not so bad..
Imma add this curveball to the mix: phases. . .some of us excel at some and suck at others. I was awesome at the early years thru elementary. Guess thats why I was excited about my 2nd child when I was already SP to 1 (would b for #2 also). It was natural and easy going for me. Them tween yrs tho. . .OMG. had I had one old enuff I absolutely would not have had 2 or ANY! For some its flipped - early yrs r difficult and later yrs r harder. I say that to say "had I known then what I know now-AINT NO WAY" Edit: my kids r 3 almost 4 yrs apart. They grown now and stress dont stop. 1 runs their own biz n the other is n the military. Great adults. . .still draining AF.
I'm sure you know plenty of mothers in real life who are struggling and could use support. If you feel sorry, maybe offer your help instead of talking shit.
@@Ilikefrogs.. Not sure if your brains can determine what is good or bad BUT a mother picking a knife whilst holding her child then motioning and saying 'maybe this is what will get people's attention' that's a scary environment for the children. And you saying I should go around and gather children in such situation and look after them is the dumbest reply yet 😂 How about you, how many of these children have you taken away from their mothers to look after yourself?? Critical thinking helps, littlechild! There are child protection and parent support institutions and groups for that. Whether it's the parents not taking the right step to seek help or the supoort institutions failing them, it still goes to affect the children in serious ways. And I have the right to feel sorry for those children. So next time you let your unchecked emotions do the thinking for your brain, PAUSE and use your head to validate your words before they come out of your gape hole. Now, let me hear you actually say something from the perspective of a thinking human, rather than a sorry ass moronic braindead.
That first woman is a suicide risk and is on the verge of a mental breakdown. The husband needs to get her help before she either kills herself, kills the kids, or just abandons the family. A person can only take so much before they snap.
I feel for them, but it has to be said most of these mothers have one thing in common. They don't know how to parent, they didn't prepare and you can prepare for motherhood. In my Southern African cultures we are encouraged to help our relatives care for their children so we can learn what to expect. The Mom holding her baby in the orange tee isn't 'wearing her baby' while she cooks but holding them which makes it impossible to do other things and will stress you out. Learn to wear your baby, it's not a primitive-third-world country practice, it's intelligent. That's why those Moms are able to go on with their lives and enjoy their children. How many of them have invested in a structured routine, have a backyard play park for playtime - morning to noon? If your children are playing outside, they won't need you so much - then bike riding in the evening before dinner or find indoor learning activities like art or music for rainy days. Children have a lot of energy that's why they need an outlet otherwise you will go crazy.
Can they even afford a decent house with a backyard when these corporations are buying up all the homes and raising prices making it impossible to so much as rent? That is a luxury now. American culture is sadly individualistic so you can forget about unpaid help.
Exhausted Moms: bUt YoU dOn'T kNoW tRuE lOvE uNtIL yOu HaVe OnE oF yOuR oWn... Seriously though, I DO actually empathize with them and with them the best though.
Women absolutely can leave. It's easier in some places than others. But it is definitely possible. In the US there are laws in place that protect parents who don't want to be parents. You can put a child in foster care, go to a shelter, drop them at a church, police station or firestation with no questions asked (up to 2 years old) foster care at any age. You can walk all the way out, stay with a friend or family member (of you have them), change your whole identity and disappear. The only thing keeping women stuck is emotional attachment. I also tell women who don't have kids to not have them. Our emotions are a weapon used against us every day. Every reason women stay is based in emotional blackmail. We love to our own detrimen and these men really have us believing we are unable or incapable of walking away due to false obligation. Its a whole trap.
This comment is going to get so much hate, but I really believe alot of women have children just to get attention. If you know it's difficult with just one child...why keep having more and then complaining? After all, you do have a choice and nobody forced you into motherhood.
Taking the huge social pressure that is placed on women to have kids out of the equation... You're aware that the US now has several states where abortion is illegal, right? Several countries in the world where abortion is illegal. Several women who are baby trapped, assaulted, manipulated by our partners. Not to mention that we're often lied to about what motherhood is really like. Nobody CHOOSES the type of motherhood that most of us end up getting.
@MrPiratebrain, how? I'm just curious. I'm not a parent, however I know for a fact most women especially Black women are not signing up to be single mothers nor are they glorifying it. In fact most Black women like myself are choosing not to have kids because it's dangerous and stressful.
@@MrPiratebrainnow most ww do glorify it, especially when it came down to black men. Ask yourself this: why didn’t all 50 states keep track of abortions when abortions was a thing? Was they afraid that the stats would have really shown? Rich white girls us to get secret abortions that stays off of the radar, but you have to know people that work at clinics and doctors offices to get the real tea.
Yea, this video made me cry ! Because i know how these women ars feeling even though , i still my self don't have no children and for me personally its not meant for me because I would be in the same shoes as these women are in, and i am sure i would be breaking down like this as well . Christine chastity lampkin. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🌹🌹🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🌹🌹😭😭🌹🌹🌹😭🌹🌹🌹😭😭🌹🌹😭🌹🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😭🌹😭😭😭😭😭😭🌹🌹🌹😭🌹😭😭🌹🌹😭 I agree with every thing these other black women are talking about ! This video is so emotional .
I'm 28 and as someone that struggles with anxiety and has panic attacks and all, I just can't imagine doing it on my own...
This is heartbreaking.
Sending love and strength❤
How about you send food instead
As a mom myself, I know that these women do not want to give away their kids. They are just ranting, they are frustrated. What these women need is a BREAK, regular breaks are necessary. They are experiencing « mommy burnout ».
Where are their family members ?
Where the F are the fathers? If fathers put as much effort In actually raising the kids they made as they do when they cheat, & maintain their hobbies , women wouldn’t be so burnt out & resentful
The mom at 9:55 are speaking facts. Every mother been there. Even those that lie to young women talking about it’s a beautiful thing. That’s why some of these stay at home mom’s be drinking. Especially, those that end up having 3 to 4 kids and being a stay at home… I could never.
Misery loves company. Parents will see you thriving while being child free and try to convince you to get married and have kids. Knowing damn well they are extremely miserable on the inside. Then they crack like the woman in the video behind closed doors after they are overwhelmed and alone to do a two-parent job while married! It’s a no for me too!
I'm 52 now, and if I knew then what I know now, I would've only had my first daughter. She was easy from birth to today (she's 23). I'm not speaking against my last 2 kids; I love those precious human beings....I'm speaking specifically about the mental health aspect of it.
The stress is not really about the kids but about the other negative circumstances that adversely affect the positive experience of parenthood - the unempathetic spouse/partner, no familial or friend support system, unresolved past traumas that we hide from others, missed opportunities to achieve personal goals, societal or religious pressures to meet expected milestones, etc.
Every single human is a hypocrite & we live by contradictions & we project them onto each other. Just think hard enough & honest enough and you'll see it. I wish we weren't like this.
We are definitely in need of a Savior and not the false anti-christ one. Stay alert for the real one.
Religion is one of humanities biggest problems.
There is no saviour, there won't be a doomsday. But a lot of christians are subconciously working towards that happening.
Religion is evil.
Thank you ma for sharing your story and your Truth. I agree we humans are hypocrites
Only you can save you. You are the calvary.
@@GoldenArmory If we could save ourselves, we wouldn't be in America to this day, and no colonizer would've ever stepped on African soil and left alive.
11:38 mom’s literally can leave…they can choose to be absentee/deadbeat parents just like men do all the time. There is honor in what she is saying & it is a nice way for moms struggling to be able to look at things. Despite how hard it is being a mother they are choosing to stay.
Women are natural masochists.
Period.
Allllllllllll of this suffering is VOLUNTARY.
Remember that
I mean you can leave the kid the father, but there is a high chance that kid will end up in foster care system.
@@teoleno4019 okay?
@@teoleno4019And will….. But that’s the point, she isn’t choosing that route.
I have an ideal ladies… sign all rights to the father. Stop being single mother’s and take them straight to court and tell the judge you want to sign your paternal rights to the father. Now don’t keep having babies after babies learn from your mistakes.
Some women are to brainwashed. They think a new relationship means a new baby.
Not their fault.
We have been saying that since last year and women have ING been getting mad with all kids of excuses. Most women said they wont leave their child with a man. But the man is their father.🧐🧐🧐🧐So hes good enough to conceive with but not good enough to be trusted with his child.
@@levelupgoddess9289 There's a reason a lot of them ended up single. A lot of these men are abusive.
Foster homes. That's where you can give your children when you don't want them.
@@CordeliaWagnerthe foster care system is the hub of child abuse and child trafficking. CPS is a monster. I say don't bother having them.
We need better sexual education classes to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
And honest information about the risks of pregnancy, the traumatic experience of natural birth, normalizing c- sections and honest conversations about all the work that motherhood means. And how kids can be. Can't be that schools don't teach this.
Nope, can't be private because a lot of people have no clue about that stuff themselves or are religious xxxx who are against education about reproduction.
There's plenty of sex education classes. People STILL do what the fuck they wanna do and not take accountability for their actions!
Instead, they wanna blame schools and other unrelated factors to why they don't want to keep their legs shut and their dicks in their pants! They make up excuses like:
• "birth control isn't always affective."
• "condoms break."
If "birth control isn't always affective" and "condoms break", why the fuck have sex then?!?!??? What's wrong abstinence???? Why are people so against being abstinent?!?!????
I was given the sex talk by my mother at age 10 of 11, long BEFORE it was taught in school. Thankfully, my mother kept it real and kept the conversation open in case I had any questions. She outright told me that sex is when a man's penis goes into a woman's vagina! There was no "birds and the bees" because she didn't know what that meant. You can't teach what you don't know. She knew what a bird was. She knew what a bee was. She didn't know what they had to do with each other because they're two different species that literally can't mate nor reproduce! Anyway, she taught me about periods, where babies come from, the whole nine yards. I'm thankful she taught me what she knew because by the time sex ed was taught, I already knew what they were teaching and talking about. Plus, the sex education classes I took in highschool taught us about STD's and showed graphic pictures of said STD's. We saw genital warts and different genital discharges that can happen if someone contracts an STD's. We were taught about different antibiotics and shots people can take/get if someone passes an STD onto them. Hell, we even saw a film called "The Miracle of Life" where some redhead woman with a hairy red coochie gave birth to triplets! We saw what a vaginal birth looked like and what a C-section looked like! You'd think after all that it would've deterred someone from screwing and clearly, it doesn't!
People who don't teach their kids about sex at home are doing their children a disservice! And shaming people who are abstinent, calling them "prude", all because they don't suck and fuck everything in sight and isn't into hookup culture, doesn't help! And/or making false claims that they're "waiting for marriage", doesn't help either! Everyone ISN'T religious, nor waiting for marriage! There's people like me who don't even believe in marriage, along with not being devoutly religious!
We need to normalize abstinence, teaching kids about sex at home (and school) and not blaming schools for personal actions that people make of their own free will!
Better yet, let's stop having kids all together that way we ain't gotta teach them shit! Its not like they asked nor chose to be here in the first place!
Agreed
Mothers have it way too hard which is why I am happy the child free movement is growing and the birthrate is falling. Much much more support is needed for mothers. No one should have to suffer so much.
Watching this I felt a real sense of deja vu then realized I saw this in another channel a few days ago. Babies are cute and tiny but the crying, the noice, the constant questions, the constant tantrums, the picking eating, always sick, and having to be responsible for that child or children 24/7 aaallllll day EVERY DAY. Helll no. I have felt this way since I myself was a child. I would go crazy. I don’t even like being around ppl too long that’s why I work nights.
The lady with the scarf on is spitting pure facts. I have a friend, right now, married, with 3 kids, and she is literally a "married single mother". Husband pitches in sometimes, but she is doing the most of the work. Like this lady told me " when you are making the decision to bare children, also be prepared to do it by yourself ".
The woman in the red top really needs help. Taking care of the kids 24/7 without enough sleep or time to rest is driving her over the edge. I just hope the husband sees the video and offers to get her help or step up to the plate when he gets back from work to relieve her from the parenting duties. If I was staying close by, Iwould definitely baby sit for a few hours so she could rest and reset. It really does take a village to raise a child.
As if a husband that threats her like that changes his behaviour because of a TikTok.
If a mature conversation doesn't help he isn't mature enough to get it.
She can give the kids to fostercare.
As if a TikTok has more impact on her husband than a TiTok.
Humans weren’t mean to be raising all these children alone. Our ancestors all got together & helped with the children. It was a community back then.
And those babies can feel when mom is stressed and depressed. They will act worse. Please don’t do it ladies. I have 2 boys (11&16) and NOBODY told me the honest truth about it. I wasn’t prepared and I’m not a single mom but the dads don’t do NEARLY enough and u can’t MAKE THEM. THINK TWICE!
I wish I knew her I would help. We all need each other. I am here, is she in Ohio?? We all as women know what this feels like. We need each other. Remember it takes a village...we need to go back to the old ways, natural law. Benefiting each other, supporting each other. Love to all moms!!!
You can volunteer at local social projects.
It's a great way to connect with others.
Do you have a parents café nearby?
You can volunteer there and watch children and do stuff with them while the mothers can either have a free coffee or have a few hours for themselves.
You can help founding such a Café if your city hasn't one.
You know what killed the village? The push for nuclear families in suburbia.
I have a few very good friends and a lot of aquintances. I am a very active person. A lot if people just wanna sit at home. That's not how you find friends.
@@CordeliaWagner Thank you, looking into it!!
Why do people like saying "it takes a village"???? It doesn't.
We need more mom support groups that offers free daycare!
I can't stand baby crying. I would love to hear what she says but it hurts my ears.
Sameeeeee
It literally triggers rage within me lmao. I could never have kids. I'd be on the evening news.
It gave me anxiety & I have children😂
@@MedusssssaChristowell yeah that’s kinda the point HELLO
Thank you! Destiny Uteh for creating this platform so we can have these conversations, as a young adult it's great to see that they are others that share my point of view and that their is a safe space to discuss them.❤😊
Am so glad you it a safe space to have conversations. Thank you so much so supporting this platform I do appreciate you 🤎🙏🏽😘
@@DestinyUteh 😍🤗 You're Welcome
This is an observation not a critique...but I noticed that alot of women get married or have kids and stop hanging with their single girlfriends in favor of other married couples or ppl with kids. This happened with my sister and two of my friends. I tried to keep the relationships strong, but eventually had to release it, cause they were focused on their new lives, and I focused on the single life. It was a hard adjustment at first. But now that I'm hearing these stories... I think it's the single friends who probably could have helped out babysitting for a couple of hours here and there... but since those relationships were severed, there goes the support system. Other married friends are in the same boat with kids and can't help out as much.
Agree!
Why should I do the work of the father?
I am childfree for a reason.
I am 21 and none of my close friends want children. But they all know I have tocophobia and that I get nauseus just being nearby a baby womb.
I will come back when the child is grown.
Not participating in a "child - raise - village".
Sorry, there are Videogames I have to play.
Mommy Communities. That's the future of parenthood. Living in groups is better for our mental health than isolated nuclear family units.
@@CordeliaWagnerOkay that’s you lmao some people don’t mind helping there friends, or they might like kids.
@@missydonald6381those people are few and they are getting fewer everyday. Sorry but you would have to hire a babysitter or nanny.
That saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"is true. I a friend that was married with 5 children and a nephew she taking care of. I would watch her children while she went to college. She graduated and got her degree and was able to help support the family. If she didn't have a support system it would have been harder for her. Support is important. 8-16-2023(Wed)
Post partum depression and psychosis are real...especially if you are alone ( no support system or the man that participated in said product walked away) it more than some can even comprehend
Men pack up and leave ALL the time!! Maybe more women should "go to get some milk"😉
Lol facts. Some already are according to reddit posts.
Start making these men single fathers & let them see how “easy” It Is just “sitting on the sofa all day”
Raised two teenagers as a single mom and I hate to say that when they are young it’s easier
I saw a few news shorts about "baby boxes" in the US and Japan. Women who know they cant take care of an infant after being born can go by a fire station or hospital and put the baby in a secure, comfortable, and insulated box and leave. An alarm in the box alerts the proper authorities and they take the child to adoption. Unfortunately these boxes aren't everywhere.
I think Canada used to have this as well, and I think a few states might have something similar.
But everybody knows you had a child. Can't hide a babywomb. Only morbidly obese women can hide that.
It is okay to give a child to a fosterbhome. These babies end up there anywhere before they get adopted.
But having access to legal abortion is also important.
@@CordeliaWagner9/10 times the kids go in foster care and get abused. Sigh.
I swear this breaks my heart… giving away your child has to be the hardest thing. Dealing with my 4 year old is not easy but i can never imagine myself dropping my 4 year old, I love her, I had her and I will take care of her to the best of my ability.Can’t they create programs to help moms instead…? Give them a psychologist, give them a nanny… this is disgusting. These kids didn’t ask to be here.
Lol I died when you said “ anyways let’s continue “ after spitting facts 😂❤
This sounds like hell. I just knew as a kid, I would never have children. I just never saw what the hype was about. This is sad.
We defenetely need more mommy Communities. That would help a lot of single women.
The government wants children so they should pay to give children a good lufe.
I hate this political system that only benefits corrupt politicians and rich people who exploit poor people.
And obviously hates women.
Sometimes I think they see motherhood as a punishment.
And honestly it looks like endless misery to me.
Motherhood income and mommy communities would help women and children.
I feel for these women. I hope the parents don’t give them a hard time! Child free people hardly ever tell parents who vent that they’re bad parents.
And that’s why you shouldn’t have children for a man who’s not financially sound. You’re going to need his money to hire extra help (nanny, housekeeper etc..). Don’t entertain broke men!!!
Don't have children when you can't afford them yourself. A man can just take his money and walk away.
Better save money and move in with other mothers. Mommy communities are better than just looking for money instead of love.
You missed the whole “Pack up and leave” message….. She absolutely can pack up and leave…. Just like fathers do- EVERYDAY!
However, she chooses, we choose, to stick around and be accountable.
Women In general have too much empathy to just pack up & leave. Women are too emotional, we need to be more logical. Think with our minds
I'm sorry she feels that way single motherhood does suck
She says in the video that she's married.
@@Ilikefrogs.. Yeah but does she specify how active or engaged her husband is in helping raise their children?
I understand the first mom's point about "no one taking care of your kids like you". As well as the last mom's point about men being in the home and not helping/making things worse. The problem is the incompetence of a lot of these dad's. They (MOST OF THEM) half ass do things or don't do them at all and THAT makes the "help" you get from them feel null and void.
I can't stop being anxious or try to get some rest when you (FINALLY do) have the baby if you're not going to hold her head properly, burp her enough, STAY AWAKE while you're watching her, feed her on time, or know how to console her etc (my daughter's dad came by to visit her, so I used that opportunity to take a bath (for the first time in months - I only have time to shower), my daughter screamed the entire time I was soaking/bathing. He couldn't get her to stop crying ONCE).
These men are lazy and/or incompetent. Very few are *heavily* involved and actually do a quality job of raising and parenting their children. Also, not having support and breaks exasperates post partum depression. Do NOT have kids if you can't afford child care and a sitter AND have a full support system (not including the dad. Dad's can mentally check out and/or abandon their kids, sorry, but they do so, pretend he wouldn't exist or worse, he'd watch you suffer in the house and still ask for seggs, a clean house, and for you to have a joyful attitude while you're feeling used, depressed, and isolated.) And then answer the question, do you still want kids? If you can see having kids as the nightmare it COULD be and you have the finances (on your own) and resources to take care of your children then, go for it. Otherwise don't do.
Not all women are meant to be mothers which I think is something we need to honor as a society also planning your family /children so you’re not overwhelmed is also important - every single one of these women are either single moms or have kids close together my mum had 5 (two sets of twins) it’s no wonder she was overwhelmed …it’s not surprising these women are finding things difficult 1 is still a lot without help/support let alone multiple children
I made a decision that if I can't afford a certain life for my children, I won't have them - and it was an ambitious one. That is regardless of the financial status of their father - just in case he disappointed me. I went through financial troubles as a child and I was never going to let my children suffer in any way including emotionally. I migrated so it took a while to settle down. I'm now in my 40s, no child but doing okay. I still stand with that, given my circumstances then.
However, I wish we had therapy then because I would have known that the man you choose makes the difference. knowing your worth and how to sieve out the worst and only entertain the best (you would know the right characteristics to choose). That's what I would tell the young ladies - deal with your trauma so that you can make the best choices. Good men are out there, we even see them on RUclips, supporting their spouses and families, choosing to stay forever.
Family youtubers put an act for the cameras. Not all but some.
Can a mother tell me what they would expect from friends or family members or others? Like what could be done to help you feel less stressed or anxious? What are the parents expecting other people to do exactly? I’m genuinely curious.
Honestly, family and friends eventually judge you for everything you do for your children and have a negative opinion in the long run. To feel less stress I would have a family member watch them in my home so I can get some sleep or enroll them daycare or school. All we really want is a village to help us out.
@@Phinonnoni Understood. Do you get upset when they refuse or feel like they owe you that help?
@@Onechance_ngl No I understand that people have their own life to live and every body isn’t into watching children or busy. I love them too tho 😂
It's sad to see these women complaining about being a mother. However, what's the point of having more than one baby when you could not handle taking care of the first baby?
Ask the useless husband
I don't feel bad they knew what they were doing period
Maybe birth control wasn’t effective, maybe husbands promised to be there but then weren’t after the child was born. Yes though, women need to stop having all these kids just to keep a man or to try to change him. Women need to stop having all these kids they can’t handle mentally, emotionally & financially.
Protect your womb
@@MedusssssaChristoExactly. 👍
Imma make sure that my daughter's set themselves up nicely before going into marriage and family. And I will be SURE to let their husband know that if they EVER mistreat my daughter and ignore her like trash, she will take the kids and move in with me and he can pay a crap ton of child support. I am living this, this is my life, and I will be making sure my daughters have the support they need and a way out of they need it because these women do not have the support they need and they have no one to help out. You don't know if they were married to the father or not, some are married and some arent but nobody should have to raise children alone, it's intense. They say it takes a village for a reason. It's HARD to do it alone.
Please don’t stop posting these because I was just thinking that maybe kids aren’t that bad. Bc some other RUclipsr was on the fence & I was watching her video thinking okay… maybe it’s not so bad..
Thank you🙏🏽 ask yourself if you really want because it takes a lot to have a child
Imma add this curveball to the mix: phases. . .some of us excel at some and suck at others.
I was awesome at the early years thru elementary. Guess thats why I was excited about my 2nd child when I was already SP to 1 (would b for #2 also). It was natural and easy going for me. Them tween yrs tho. . .OMG. had I had one old enuff I absolutely would not have had 2 or ANY!
For some its flipped - early yrs r difficult and later yrs r harder.
I say that to say "had I known then what I know now-AINT NO WAY"
Edit: my kids r 3 almost 4 yrs apart. They grown now and stress dont stop. 1 runs their own biz n the other is n the military. Great adults. . .still draining AF.
I FEEL SORRY FOR THESE KIDS
Adopt one.
There are a lot of children that you can feel sorry for or you can do something about it.
@@hazelwillis3990 FOOL 😅🤣
I'm sure you know plenty of mothers in real life who are struggling and could use support. If you feel sorry, maybe offer your help instead of talking shit.
@@Ilikefrogs.. Not sure if your brains can determine what is good or bad BUT a mother picking a knife whilst holding her child then motioning and saying 'maybe this is what will get people's attention' that's a scary environment for the children.
And you saying I should go around and gather children in such situation and look after them is the dumbest reply yet 😂
How about you, how many of these children have you taken away from their mothers to look after yourself??
Critical thinking helps, littlechild!
There are child protection and parent support institutions and groups for that.
Whether it's the parents not taking the right step to seek help or the supoort institutions failing them, it still goes to affect the children in serious ways. And I have the right to feel sorry for those children. So next time you let your unchecked emotions do the thinking for your brain, PAUSE and use your head to validate your words before they come out of your gape hole.
Now, let me hear you actually say something from the perspective of a thinking human, rather than a sorry ass moronic braindead.
@@hazelwillis3990you missed the whole video apparently. we’re child FREE. adoption not an option
That first woman is a suicide risk and is on the verge of a mental breakdown. The husband needs to get her help before she either kills herself, kills the kids, or just abandons the family. A person can only take so much before they snap.
I feel for them, but it has to be said most of these mothers have one thing in common. They don't know how to parent, they didn't prepare and you can prepare for motherhood. In my Southern African cultures we are encouraged to help our relatives care for their children so we can learn what to expect.
The Mom holding her baby in the orange tee isn't 'wearing her baby' while she cooks but holding them which makes it impossible to do other things and will stress you out. Learn to wear your baby, it's not a primitive-third-world country practice, it's intelligent. That's why those Moms are able to go on with their lives and enjoy their children.
How many of them have invested in a structured routine, have a backyard play park for playtime - morning to noon? If your children are playing outside, they won't need you so much - then bike riding in the evening before dinner or find indoor learning activities like art or music for rainy days. Children have a lot of energy that's why they need an outlet otherwise you will go crazy.
Can they even afford a decent house with a backyard when these corporations are buying up all the homes and raising prices making it impossible to so much as rent? That is a luxury now. American culture is sadly individualistic so you can forget about unpaid help.
Exhausted Moms: bUt YoU dOn'T kNoW tRuE lOvE uNtIL yOu HaVe OnE oF yOuR oWn...
Seriously though, I DO actually empathize with them and with them the best though.
Self awareness should be thought. A lot of moms pops wouldn’t be in this position.
Women absolutely can leave. It's easier in some places than others. But it is definitely possible. In the US there are laws in place that protect parents who don't want to be parents. You can put a child in foster care, go to a shelter, drop them at a church, police station or firestation with no questions asked (up to 2 years old) foster care at any age. You can walk all the way out, stay with a friend or family member (of you have them), change your whole identity and disappear. The only thing keeping women stuck is emotional attachment. I also tell women who don't have kids to not have them. Our emotions are a weapon used against us every day. Every reason women stay is based in emotional blackmail. We love to our own detrimen and these men really have us believing we are unable or incapable of walking away due to false obligation. Its a whole trap.
You nailed it.
These women can leave.
But it's seen as evil.
And they never learned to put themselves first.
So true, The lady that birth me could care less what happened to me. Thank the universe.
Subreddits: r/regretfulparents
and r/breakingmom
🤔 I think I will check it out . Thank you for sharing
There's a reason traditional cultures promote living in close proximity to parents and close relatives. Smh.
Then they will use this against them because they venting. I only had One and she is in college now ❤️
Nope nope nope. I would never agree to this
Let the father of these babies take on all of this work
Some women just aren't meant to be mother's you can always put your kids up for adoption if you don't want them
This comment is going to get so much hate, but I really believe alot of women have children just to get attention. If you know it's difficult with just one child...why keep having more and then complaining? After all, you do have a choice and nobody forced you into motherhood.
Taking the huge social pressure that is placed on women to have kids out of the equation... You're aware that the US now has several states where abortion is illegal, right? Several countries in the world where abortion is illegal. Several women who are baby trapped, assaulted, manipulated by our partners. Not to mention that we're often lied to about what motherhood is really like. Nobody CHOOSES the type of motherhood that most of us end up getting.
Also, who tf would choose to go into labour and give birth "for attention"?😂
@@Ilikefrogs.. then why do alot of women whine about how hard it is to take care of one child, only to turn around and have 2 or 3 more? Attention
@@saramatthews7159everyone does not believe in abortions. Most pregnancies aren't planned.
@@Ilikefrogs..why are they having more kids then?
So if all y’all say you don’t want your own kids then I’m certain you are the first person to offer childcare to your “friends” you abandoned w kids
The LAST girl made me realize how happy I am to not have children. I will only POP them out if it's in GOD'S WILL.
I’d rather die. This is ghetto and gross
I bet if the father of the child or children would act right they would not saying this dumb sh** 😒
Yeah but they glorify single motherhood.
Who glorify single motherhood
@@DestinyUteh many black american woman.
@MrPiratebrain, how? I'm just curious. I'm not a parent, however I know for a fact most women especially Black women are not signing up to be single mothers nor are they glorifying it. In fact most Black women like myself are choosing not to have kids because it's dangerous and stressful.
@@MrPiratebrainthat’s a lie, but we know that’s the red pill way. This is how you man think.
@@MrPiratebrainnow most ww do glorify it, especially when it came down to black men. Ask yourself this: why didn’t all 50 states keep track of abortions when abortions was a thing? Was they afraid that the stats would have really shown? Rich white girls us to get secret abortions that stays off of the radar, but you have to know people that work at clinics and doctors offices to get the real tea.
Yea, this video made me cry ! Because i know how these women ars feeling even though , i still my self don't have no children and for me personally its not meant for me because I would be in the same shoes as these women are in, and i am sure i would be breaking down like this as well . Christine chastity lampkin. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🌹🌹🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🌹🌹😭😭🌹🌹🌹😭🌹🌹🌹😭😭🌹🌹😭🌹🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😭🌹😭😭😭😭😭😭🌹🌹🌹😭🌹😭😭🌹🌹😭 I agree with every thing these other black women are talking about ! This video is so emotional .