3:31 "I want to get out of the house in the morning without screaming at him and without putting him in tears..." 😭😭 😭 Us too!! 😭😭😭. Thank you so much for your help!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I always get a little teary eyed when I think of you adopting an 8-year-old boy and working so hard to give him a real shot at being successful in life. Seriously.. what a guy, and a true hero to many!!! ❤
Amazing talk. Thank you so much! I am realizing that I have to throw out almost all of the parenting techniques that I have learned and were successful with my two other children and completely start over in terms of my approach and expectations. This and all of your other posts and videos are extraordinarily helpful.
I have tried so many techniques, lol. I believe they have to see the clocks thank goodness I have been. Taking break then doing homework has work. We do shower then break with snacks then homework then do a 10 min break then back at homework. The final reward is time alone to play or board game of Friday night iPad game time only. No game time during the week . It’s been working. Awesome video
I think all of these ideas applies to most kids ….says a mother of 5 grandma to 12 and I’m always looking to improve my methods. So far I have 3 ADD kids in this bunch …including ME.
My son screams loudly and interrupts others' conversations. My daughter feels like she never gets to speak. He complaints about others exactly about the same thing he does to others (like turning up late, interrupting, never taking the initiative to call his friends to play) And looks like he believes it genuinely.
What you're describeing is difficulty with perspective taking. I have videos about this in the Social Skills playlist and teach parents how to teach perspective-taking in the Socially Smarter series, which is part of the ADHD Dude Membership Site.
Tell me more about non verbal working memory being split from verbal working memory? Do you mean they can’t shift from thinking about going to the grocery store to bring at grocery store? They don’t have that pre- thinking? It reminds me of dog training. If you are walking you dog and teach her to heel while she’s on the left, you also have to teach then while she’s on the right.
Thank you for your tips and explaining the differences between prompting and scaffolding! I've been inconsistent with the prompting and scaffolding with preschoolers with ADHD. On a different point, I would think doing the easiest homework first would leave more time to doing the more difficult academic work.
You brain is more tired towards the end of homework thus if you save the most boring/uninteresting homework till the end the whole homework process takes much longer.
This is magnificent help!!!!!! Thank you so much! Yes to ALL you asked! I have used it all and tried it all. This is incredibly helpful. How can I get printable of this information?
Thank you so much for watching! So I don't create transcripts of videos but you're welcome to check out the ADHD Dude Facebook page as I have more text content there.
Well heck! How do you help teach visual strategies for non-verbal working memory?! I have Aphantasia 😅 I literally cant visualize! Never have been able to. Its just black if i close my eyes. Well heck, that's gonna be challenging. Hmmm.... So recently my husband asked me how i remember things since i cant visualize anything. I told him its a combination of a ridiculously good memory for details and then accessing the information. Since i cant visualize anything i started to draw. It helped me remember what things looked like. You draw enough feathers, eventually you know what they look like. Recalling is much harder without the visual help. I DO remember better with strong emotion attached to it. And i do. I attach emotion to everything 😅 But also smell, feel and oddly colors. Between those 4 thing it covers almost everything. In my school years i would listen to CDs. CDs i owned specifically. Because i could use the the music as another prompt to bring memory forward. Which was crucial for me as i was trying to recall data i read but was emotionally unconnected to and wasnt a physical object beyond a book in my hard. And not even an old book which at least would have had a scent to it. To this day i cant head smashing pumpkins without recalling civics 😅
Hey, thanks so much for this. amazing info! One thing I'm confused about, I find timers great for transitioning. I'm surprised you say timers aren't helpful. Do you mean as an incentive? Thx!!
Timers cannot teach you how to sense the passage of time because they only show time and decreasing increments. When a timer stops it doesn't show you time moving forward so they cannot actually teach you how to feel time.
Any webinars for professional adults? I have learned a lot of the strategies, but I could benefit from more as I advanced in my career and have more challenges
Can I marry your mind? No, I’ll just learn to adapt akin to your mind. I have ADD too, but everything I’m hearing I get, and I can use. Thaaaaannnkkkkkkyyyyyoooouuuuuu
This is a big thing before we understand our children, I did the same for my first two sons and now trying to be be different with my third! So hard, but you are here looking to grow so be kind to yourself mama x
@@ADHDDude I don't think that is up to date information... While the AAP guidelines cover children ages four and older, children younger than four have been diagnosed with ADHD. It is challenging to diagnose children from ages three to four, says Dr. DuPaul. “I certainly am very hesitant to diagnose ADHD younger than age two,” he says. “In fact, I’ve never done that in my career.”
Thank you I appreciate it! I don't know if you can still download the slides from this, you can look here: www.additudemag.com/author/ryan-wexelblatt-lcsw/ where the presentation is located.
Heh, well at least im doing something right. Got to the "what had impacted natural executive function skills development" slide and it made me proud to be a late gen x who had kids late. Im 43 with 2 boys, 1 is 10 and the other is 6. We own 1 tv. No computer. No game console. We have 2 tablets that only have educational games and school apps on them. Dad and i have cell phones so if our 10 year old needs the internet for school he has to go through our hotspot. We. Have. No. Internet. Bill! Which allows us to put that money aside for taking the boys to fun educational activities. Still ADHD is a problem. I have executive function issues, whether its due to ADHD, CPTSD or frontal lobe injury, is anyones guess as i have all 3. Our 10 year old doesnt have any problems beyond having a parent with executive function issues but the 6 year old. Lordy. I fear his are worse because of my inability to show him what its supposed to look like. But then, i made it to 41 without knowing thats what my problem was. Im extremely glad i found your youtube channel. Maybe it will help me. So that i can help my son. Thats my biggest concern in life. Setting them up for success and happiness in life, in whatever form that takes for them. I didnt have that and know what the deficit of it looks like from here. So thank you again for all your hard work! ❤
Pathological Demand Avoidance is not a diagnosis and lacks sufficient evidence to support it. I have a post coming out about it this weekend. I find most people have a limited understanding of ADHD (no fault of their own); thus, when they hear the term "PDA," they believe common ADHD traits fall under this PDA label, which has no scientific validity. Regarding your question, in Scaffolding Better Behavior, my parent behavior training program, I teach how to stop accommodating inflexibility and stop giving attention to oppositional behaviors; thus, these strategies work when you deal with inflexibility/argumentativeness first.
If i give my son his screen time, he never gives it back on time. And he is big now and runs away with the gadget and locks the room. I end up not wanting to give him any screen at all bcz of this even as a reward. But I still do, after few days, just to have the same thing repeat
That's because you're giving it to him as an entitlement, rather something that's earned. He would greatly benefit by you stepping into your parental authority and putting expectations in place for earning screen time, as well as requiring him to use the strategy I teach in the thumbnail of this video which is from the Executive Function Crash Course webinar series.
Can you recommend resources for an previously highly functioning adult who suffered severe trauma and relapsed into severe executive functioning defects? Ty
My baby girl has low sense of danger, so she tends to run while looking back or she would even walk over something that is an obstacle between her and something that caught her attention. There are also couple of times where i had to save my youngest daughter from bring stepped on cause big sis is drawn to something that really caught her attention. She seems to switch too quickly from one activity to another, she can get tired of toys too quickly. I need comfirmation eventhough i will get her assessed. Do you believe some of these behaviors may indicate my child may have ADHD ?
11 minutes in and I feel like a shitty parent 😭. Yelling at him then conflicted with am I coddling ? Where is the medium!? My son struggles to have a solid friend and kids get annoyed with him or they don’t stick around long. 😭. Idk how to approach my son or the best way to help him. He is 14 so we want to get everything we can for him to make sure he is equipped for adulthood challenges.
I AM FINALLY FINDING THE VIDEOS I NEED FOR THE SPECIFIC CONCERNS WE HAVE. THANK GOD
Thank you for watching!
SAME!!! 🙌 I feel like I’ve found a gold mine of information here.
Thank you!
3:31 "I want to get out of the house in the morning without screaming at him and without putting him in tears..." 😭😭 😭 Us too!! 😭😭😭. Thank you so much for your help!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Please check out the Executive Function Crash Course series. The strategies in Webinar 2 that would help you change that.
I always get a little teary eyed when I think of you adopting an 8-year-old boy and working so hard to give him a real shot at being successful in life. Seriously.. what a guy, and a true hero to many!!! ❤
Thank you Stephanie, I really appreciate it. :)
Amazing talk. Thank you so much! I am realizing that I have to throw out almost all of the parenting techniques that I have learned and were successful with my two other children and completely start over in terms of my approach and expectations.
This and all of your other posts and videos are extraordinarily helpful.
My pleasure, so glad to hear it! Thank you :)
I have tried so many techniques, lol. I believe they have to see the clocks thank goodness I have been. Taking break then doing homework has work. We do shower then break with snacks then homework then do a 10 min break then back at homework. The final reward is time alone to play or board game of Friday night iPad game time only. No game time during the week . It’s been working. Awesome video
Thanks for watching!
You have been helpful in a way words cannot be described. Thank you for your videos!
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me!
Thank you!! I am 14 almost 15 trying improve myself on things. Because I want go back I can’t go out much because can’t focus when I am out
Thanks so much for watching!
What a timely wealth of practical knowledge! Thank you so much.
Thank you for watching!
I’m so happy I found you! I hope this helps my daughter 🙏🙏🙏
So glad you did as well, thank you!
I think all of these ideas applies to most kids ….says a mother of 5 grandma to 12 and I’m always looking to improve my methods. So far I have 3 ADD kids in this bunch …including ME.
This is amazing, i feel so grateful to find this video!
I'm so glad to hear that, thank you!
Thank you! This has been very helpful!
Thank you for watching!
My son screams loudly and interrupts others' conversations. My daughter feels like she never gets to speak. He complaints about others exactly about the same thing he does to others (like turning up late, interrupting, never taking the initiative to call his friends to play) And looks like he believes it genuinely.
What you're describeing is difficulty with perspective taking. I have videos about this in the Social Skills playlist and teach parents how to teach perspective-taking in the Socially Smarter series, which is part of the ADHD Dude Membership Site.
@@ADHDDude tx again🙏
Just wanted to add, he takes our phones away or anything that's important to us, if we don't relent to his demand for his gadget.
So that's letting him control you....
This is fantastic! Thank you!
Glad it helped!
Thank you so much for sharing your work! 🙏🏾
My pleasure!
Absolutely fantastic !
Many thanks!
Can I just say as a mom, with 2 Littles I used to be so embarrassed to have so many papers and food in the car but it's kinda like a massive backpack
Thank you for your tips ..it really helps
Thank you for watching!
Thank you for all these insights. Very helpful
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you so much!!!
BTW, You’re amazing! Thank you ❤
Thank you so much!
Tell me more about non verbal working memory being split from verbal working memory? Do you mean they can’t shift from thinking about going to the grocery store to bring at grocery store? They don’t have that pre- thinking? It reminds me of dog training. If you are walking you dog and teach her to heel while she’s on the left, you also have to teach then while she’s on the right.
I cover this in the Executive Function Crash Course webinar series and teach strategies to help build these.
Thank you so much for this video 👏🙏
Thank you for watching!
Your going to save our family. Or at least me from going crazy.
If I can help one person from going crazy that makes my day!
Yes absolutely
Thank you that was very helpful to know.
Glad it was helpful!
Great content here. I can’t wait to sign up for a webinar.
Great to hear!
Thank you for your tips and explaining the differences between prompting and scaffolding! I've been inconsistent with the prompting and scaffolding with preschoolers with ADHD. On a different point, I would think doing the easiest homework first would leave more time to doing the more difficult academic work.
You brain is more tired towards the end of homework thus if you save the most boring/uninteresting homework till the end the whole homework process takes much longer.
This is magnificent help!!!!!! Thank you so much! Yes to ALL you asked! I have used it all and tried it all. This is incredibly helpful. How can I get printable of this information?
Thank you so much for watching! So I don't create transcripts of videos but you're welcome to check out the ADHD Dude Facebook page as I have more text content there.
30:10 is about teaching kids how to monitor / conceptualize time using an analog clock ⏰
This maked soooo much sense!
Glad to hear it :)
Well heck! How do you help teach visual strategies for non-verbal working memory?! I have Aphantasia 😅 I literally cant visualize! Never have been able to. Its just black if i close my eyes. Well heck, that's gonna be challenging. Hmmm....
So recently my husband asked me how i remember things since i cant visualize anything. I told him its a combination of a ridiculously good memory for details and then accessing the information. Since i cant visualize anything i started to draw. It helped me remember what things looked like. You draw enough feathers, eventually you know what they look like. Recalling is much harder without the visual help. I DO remember better with strong emotion attached to it. And i do. I attach emotion to everything 😅 But also smell, feel and oddly colors. Between those 4 thing it covers almost everything. In my school years i would listen to CDs. CDs i owned specifically. Because i could use the the music as another prompt to bring memory forward. Which was crucial for me as i was trying to recall data i read but was emotionally unconnected to and wasnt a physical object beyond a book in my hard. And not even an old book which at least would have had a scent to it. To this day i cant head smashing pumpkins without recalling civics 😅
I am an adult but honestly all this advice relates to me )
Yes, a lot of it would be relevant and please check out my colleague: addept_org on Instagram for excellent adult adhd content.
Hey, thanks so much for this. amazing info! One thing I'm confused about, I find timers great for transitioning. I'm surprised you say timers aren't helpful. Do you mean as an incentive? Thx!!
Timers cannot teach you how to sense the passage of time because they only show time and decreasing increments. When a timer stops it doesn't show you time moving forward so they cannot actually teach you how to feel time.
Thank You!
Thank you for watching!
Any webinars for professional adults? I have learned a lot of the strategies, but I could benefit from more as I advanced in my career and have more challenges
Hi, I don't create content for adults with ADHD, sorry.
Can I marry your mind? No, I’ll just learn to adapt akin to your mind.
I have ADD too, but everything I’m hearing I get, and I can use. Thaaaaannnkkkkkkyyyyyoooouuuuuu
So glad to hear it! :)
Great tips for me to look up..my boys all have ADHD but each one is particularly different. Would you mind giving examples of such suggestions.
Please visit the Executive Function playlist here at the channel and see some of the most recent videos as well. Thank you for watching.
Now I feel like a failure. For 14 years, Ive been acting as my son's executive functioning. Now Im doing it to my 7 year old
Definitely not a failure, and it's never too late to change this. Please see the Executive Function playlist here at the channel.
This is a big thing before we understand our children, I did the same for my first two sons and now trying to be be different with my third! So hard, but you are here looking to grow so be kind to yourself mama x
Where's the info for young children, 0-3 years old??
Children 0-3 cannot be diagnosed with ADHD. This is a channel about parenting kids with ADHD.
@@ADHDDude I don't think that is up to date information...
While the AAP guidelines cover children ages four and older, children younger than four have been diagnosed with ADHD. It is challenging to diagnose children from ages three to four, says Dr. DuPaul.
“I certainly am very hesitant to diagnose ADHD younger than age two,” he says. “In fact, I’ve never done that in my career.”
Great presentation.
How can I get the slides to this presentation. Thank you so much.
Thank you I appreciate it! I don't know if you can still download the slides from this, you can look here: www.additudemag.com/author/ryan-wexelblatt-lcsw/ where the presentation is located.
Heh, well at least im doing something right. Got to the "what had impacted natural executive function skills development" slide and it made me proud to be a late gen x who had kids late. Im 43 with 2 boys, 1 is 10 and the other is 6. We own 1 tv. No computer. No game console. We have 2 tablets that only have educational games and school apps on them. Dad and i have cell phones so if our 10 year old needs the internet for school he has to go through our hotspot. We. Have. No. Internet. Bill! Which allows us to put that money aside for taking the boys to fun educational activities. Still ADHD is a problem. I have executive function issues, whether its due to ADHD, CPTSD or frontal lobe injury, is anyones guess as i have all 3. Our 10 year old doesnt have any problems beyond having a parent with executive function issues but the 6 year old. Lordy. I fear his are worse because of my inability to show him what its supposed to look like. But then, i made it to 41 without knowing thats what my problem was. Im extremely glad i found your youtube channel. Maybe it will help me. So that i can help my son. Thats my biggest concern in life. Setting them up for success and happiness in life, in whatever form that takes for them. I didnt have that and know what the deficit of it looks like from here. So thank you again for all your hard work! ❤
Where can we get the green overlay for the clock?
It's not an overlay, it's a strategy I teach in my Executive Function Crash Course for Parents webinar series.
Are the webinars still available?
Yes www.adhddudecourses.com thank you for asking
Thanks!
All signed up!
Do you have a RUclips video for helpful tips going through school with friends and hardship there?
Please see the social skills playlist
How would these strategies work for a kid with pathological demand avoidance?
Pathological Demand Avoidance is not a diagnosis and lacks sufficient evidence to support it. I have a post coming out about it this weekend. I find most people have a limited understanding of ADHD (no fault of their own); thus, when they hear the term "PDA," they believe common ADHD traits fall under this PDA label, which has no scientific validity. Regarding your question, in Scaffolding Better Behavior, my parent behavior training program, I teach how to stop accommodating inflexibility and stop giving attention to oppositional behaviors; thus, these strategies work when you deal with inflexibility/argumentativeness first.
If i give my son his screen time, he never gives it back on time. And he is big now and runs away with the gadget and locks the room. I end up not wanting to give him any screen at all bcz of this even as a reward. But I still do, after few days, just to have the same thing repeat
That's because you're giving it to him as an entitlement, rather something that's earned. He would greatly benefit by you stepping into your parental authority and putting expectations in place for earning screen time, as well as requiring him to use the strategy I teach in the thumbnail of this video which is from the Executive Function Crash Course webinar series.
@@ADHDDude 🙏 tx for the response. Will check the thumbnail
Is there an alternative clock option that would work for a 5 year old?
They don't need to know how to tell time to use the strategy, they just need to be able to identify numbers.
Can you recommend resources for an previously highly functioning adult who suffered severe trauma and relapsed into severe executive functioning defects? Ty
Yes addept_org on Instagram, she specializes in adult ADHD and is great
@@ADHDDude thank you!! ♥️💯
Do you have a suggestion on a kid that doesn’t think to drink water? Or ANYTHING for that matter?😣 struggling and she’s becoming sick!!!
You set specific times where she cannot do anything else but drink aka "drink breaks"
My baby girl has low sense of danger, so she tends to run while looking back or she would even walk over something that is an obstacle between her and something that caught her attention. There are also couple of times where i had to save my youngest daughter from bring stepped on cause big sis is drawn to something that really caught her attention. She seems to switch too quickly from one activity to another, she can get tired of toys too quickly. I need comfirmation eventhough i will get her assessed. Do you believe some of these behaviors may indicate my child may have ADHD ?
There's no way I could answer that questions without knowing age or any other information.
11 minutes in and I feel like a shitty parent 😭. Yelling at him then conflicted with am I coddling ? Where is the medium!?
My son struggles to have a solid friend and kids get annoyed with him or they don’t stick around long. 😭.
Idk how to approach my son or the best way to help him. He is 14 so we want to get everything we can for him to make sure he is equipped for adulthood challenges.
1. I suggest starting with the "Start Here" playlist.
2. After that the "Social Skills" playlist would be helpful to you.
What homework should be done in which order?
It varies for each individual, I teach how to do this in Webinar 5 of the Executive Function Crash Course series.