As an apparently neuro normal person I would say that we can go to the pub because we absolutely just ignore the attacks of others. We just say to ourselves normal, I will let that run off me as a duck lets water run off his back. sometimes beign a bit nasty is part of hte whole game and also poeple are tremendously bossy, and scornful of lots of things, and want to correct others. Maybe, having a long term veiw of relationships helps a lot. For instance, my mother said that people just feel as if you are their friends if you are around enough, a piece of advice that is useful to everyone, it lets you know that what you are doing is being around enough for people to get used to you. You are not getting along swimmingly you are just giving them a lot of time to see you and feel they are your friend. The neuro normal do not say the right thing back to others. When you are neuro normal, knowing others is not possible, they are often brought up to be so different from each other, so beign with them is just a lot of rough and tumble. Say whatever, say any old thing, the crazy is one way to go. I have a brother in law who is incomprehensible and has lots of friends. He just sits around with people a lot and they come to decide his crazy is cool. People tell autists there is a right way to answer others, there is not. The other part of this is that often it is not you others are hating but what they have dreampt up about you. You need to talk to let them know who you are or be around just for them just to see how you act. Others dont know you, so, if they behave negatively to you, it is not because of you it is because they are making you up, creating your supposed character in their heads and who knows how that has come out for each person. Of course there are people who are bullies and that is diferrent, it is a question of being with people who are more interested in domination than in communication, so they are nasty in order to dominate others and then it is a question of how to stop the brutal. This is a job for the black belts in verbal and physical abuse. You need to learn the karate of verbal abuse for that and maybe a bit of `physical fighting ability too. It would take years to become a black belt in it. The school should be the ones to control such if they see the problem. You need people who are really good at dealing with such to be the ones who are dealing with them. The abusive are often taught by other abusive people theiu r own parents and so, much as they are the same ages as others in the class, are way ahead of them in the ability to be abusive. Sometimes blackening others is the manipulatives game and that can be done on the quiet. People dont realise who the ring leader is. Even canny adults dont realise who the ring leader is. In this too, it is not you the pupil who lacks beauty, mental or physical or has it, it is that you are at the mercy of the violent who want to destroy others beautiful or ugly, they dont care. The old fashioned attitude is that pupils get good at bullying if exposed to it. This is a remarkable blindness about the skills involved in bullying, which make children of a certain temprament or taught by parents to bully so very good at it, which means that other children dotn stand a chance with such and these ohter children get to lose all their confidence in themselves instead of becoming competent at managing bullying. Read the poem of TS Eliots of the cat Mcavity. Often bullies suffer bullying at home and are taught to bully by bully parents so saving them from bullying, as well as from themselves is part of the game. I buy books on bullying and mobbing.
As an apparently neuro normal person I would say that we can go to the pub because we absolutely just ignore the attacks of others. We just say to ourselves normal, I will let that run off me as a duck lets water run off his back. sometimes beign a bit nasty is part of hte whole game and also poeple are tremendously bossy, and scornful of lots of things, and want to correct others.
Maybe, having a long term veiw of relationships helps a lot. For instance, my mother said that people just feel as if you are their friends if you are around enough, a piece of advice that is useful to everyone, it lets you know that what you are doing is being around enough for people to get used to you. You are not getting along swimmingly you are just giving them a lot of time to see you and feel they are your friend.
The neuro normal do not say the right thing back to others. When you are neuro normal, knowing others is not possible, they are often brought up to be so different from each other, so beign with them is just a lot of rough and tumble. Say whatever, say any old thing, the crazy is one way to go. I have a brother in law who is incomprehensible and has lots of friends. He just sits around with people a lot and they come to decide his crazy is cool.
People tell autists there is a right way to answer others, there is not.
The other part of this is that often it is not you others are hating but what they have dreampt up about you. You need to talk to let them know who you are or be around just for them just to see how you act. Others dont know you, so, if they behave negatively to you, it is not because of you it is because they are making you up, creating your supposed character in their heads and who knows how that has come out for each person.
Of course there are people who are bullies and that is diferrent, it is a question of being with people who are more interested in domination than in communication, so they are nasty in order to dominate others and then it is a question of how to stop the brutal. This is a job for the black belts in verbal and physical abuse.
You need to learn the karate of verbal abuse for that and maybe a bit of `physical fighting ability too. It would take years to become a black belt in it. The school should be the ones to control such if they see the problem. You need people who are really good at dealing with such to be the ones who are dealing with them.
The abusive are often taught by other abusive people theiu r own parents and so, much as they are the same ages as others in the class, are way ahead of them in the ability to be abusive.
Sometimes blackening others is the manipulatives game and that can be done on the quiet. People dont realise who the ring leader is. Even canny adults dont realise who the ring leader is. In this too, it is not you the pupil who lacks beauty, mental or physical or has it, it is that you are at the mercy of the violent who want to destroy others beautiful or ugly, they dont care.
The old fashioned attitude is that pupils get good at bullying if exposed to it. This is a remarkable blindness about the skills involved in bullying, which make children of a certain temprament or taught by parents to bully so very good at it, which means that other children dotn stand a chance with such and these ohter children get to lose all their confidence in themselves instead of becoming competent at managing bullying.
Read the poem of TS Eliots of the cat Mcavity.
Often bullies suffer bullying at home and are taught to bully by bully parents so saving them from bullying, as well as from themselves is part of the game.
I buy books on bullying and mobbing.