the specific writing examples you give where you edit them along with us to improve are SO helpful. I know you do this in other videos as well and it's so amazing.
I'll come back to this video many times. Love this. I'm writing in dual POV, and most of the time I'm getting it right, but, when I have overlapping scenes when the 2 main characters are in the same time and space, I can flip at times. Thank you for verbalising the things I kind of know but can't express about writing multiple POV stories.
Ah, thanks so much, Dal! I'm so glad it was helpful! It is so, so easy to do that "flip" - I find myself doing it when I'm writing dual POVs, too. Actually, a few weeks ago during your writing sprint livestream, I was working on a dual POV book and wrote a good page and a half in the wrong POV. 😑
This is the most helpful video I’ve come across in my hunt for multiple-POV information! I found your examples extremely helpful in making it all click into place
I'm working on a story where the names being used per perspective is very important in regards to thier relationship with eachother. One perspective character, Rex, is adopted into a family with an adopted brother Christopher. Rex calls his brother "Christopher", where his friends call him "Topher", and the other perspective character, Opal, will call him "Chris". Rex calls his adopting father "Mr. Straife", while Christopher will plainly call him "Dad".
What a lovely video!! I loved the examples! It makes it so much easier to understand! When I'm writing now, I keep remembering the things you say hahah every scene now feels so much more purposeful! I'm a bit surprised by the answer on the whole parent situation! I didn't know that the go-to would be to use "Mom" and "Dad" (as oppose to "his mom" and "his dad")! I thought you only used that if the book was in first person! I'm gonna have to swap it out in one scene and see how it feels to me! And, because I'm me, and I've become very spoiled with chiming in about topics haha. I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about verb tenses? It sounds like a silly question, and it might be. When I write in regular past tense, it's all pretty simple to control: past perfect for what happened before Current Time, and past tense for what's happening now. But here's my confusion: when I write in present tense (which... tbh, maybe I should give that up, it's so messy!), and I'm summarizing something before a scene properly starts, I have no idea what tense to use? I'm not even sure if my question makes sense, sorry. Here's an example: "The whole week, she was dreading making that phone call, she'd had many people giving her advice, but didn't know who to listen to. [..] She sits down, staring at her phone and decides to just go for it." The above paragraph is what my brain *wants* to do, it's what always comes out! But there are three different tenses there - past for summarizing something, past perfect to refer to something that happened in the past of that, and then present when I'm ready to start my scene. I'm 99.9% sure that this is simply incorrect. Ok, I'll stop rambling hahaha Thank you so much for the videos! I'm learning a lot and am applying all of it to what I'm currently working on!
Ahhh Allie - this is a GREAT topic!! And that's such a good example. I know exactly what you're talking about and it really does get so, so tricky. The worst is when you write a project in present and decide to switch to past or vice versa...oh man, that really messes with my head! I'm going to c/p this comment into my list of future video ideas - it would make a great workshop episode. Thank you!!
Question! About character naming in 3rd person limited: In some scenes, I feel like the repetitiveness of the characters’ names can get overbearing if, for example, I switch a lot between Character 1’s actions and their observations of a second character. Can I use adjectives describing (for example) the hair colour (if it’s unique) of the character whose POV I’m writing instead of their name? Since people don’t usually address themselves that way, I was wondering if it’s a problem. Example: POV: Name 1 (the blond) Other character in the scene: Name 2 (the brunette) Name 1 froze in place when he saw Name 2. The brunette had his nose stuck in a book. It was impressive that he wasn’t tripping over things and crashing into walls, with all the other people out in the street. Name 1 couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Name 2 halted his stroll and looked up from his book- staring directly at *the blond*. (I don’t know if that was a good example but yeah) Also great video! It was really helpful!
((Hey and ah, makes sense! Thanks for answering it :) Anyways, here's one POV from an unexpected side character... was partially inspired by another franchise, but similar...)) The moment that Propsero opened his eyes, he was in the small village of Opena. The sights and smells of food beckoned him to try a bowl of their famous hot ramen, just two bronze coins each. It was the one with the pork and shrimp in it, his favourite. He was tempted to buy it but he could hear a voice in his head. A familiar voice. "Eat up, big guy. It's your first day as a level one character and I cannot wait to unlock your skills." This voice belonged to Iza, his mysterious new master. Prospero nodded and began to eat standing up until-- The bowl of ramen slipped from his hands and crashed into his army clothes. Then, he heard a voice from behind. he couldn't hear the words, but Iza was onto it. He could hear something from Iza, but the clicks were always a good sign. "I'm sending a duel request. See how he reacts," Iza said to him as Prospero nodded. Then, he turned around to see a man smaller than him, dressed in black clothes and weilding a sword, waiting for battle. He could see his face pale and drained at the look of the invite before his master pressed 'Accept'. "You got him scared, Iza. Would this be an easy duel, then?" Prospero thought out loud as Iza giggled. "Don't underestimate him. We don't know his class or what his skillset is. By the look of it, he's the same level as you. Should be a good warm up. And don't worry about the ramen, I'll help you get a free one after we win." The last sentence from Iza had his fists go into comission for the first time. Prospero decided to give a right hook to the face for his ramen, but it was blocked by said sword. With a grunt, Prospero tried to get in edgeways before the man uttered something that startled him for the first time. The mysterious man had his left hand extended towards him and a magic ball appeared in front of him. "Dark Sphere!" A black-purple like sphere crashed towards Prospero, making him stumble. Then, he could see the purple skull for the first time, his skin burning alive as though acid had been thrown on his dark skin. "It seems I am poisoned, Iza. What do we do?" Prospero thought out loud to Iza as he could hear her smirk. At the same time, the mysterious man had used the blunt edge of the sword to the stomach to throw him up in the air before pummelling him into the dirt. Not only he wasn't getting to eat ramen, but it was subsituted for dirt. Prospero remained silent, the poison burning his skin alive. "I am going to use the skill 'Last Rite'. The poison has taken 3/4 of your health, so ready?" Prospero nodded and concentrated before he let out a loud roar, allowing the extra strength to override the poison. Prospero could hear the mysterious man panicking again, asking for advice. One, two. For every sword jab, he was able to get two punches in. One, two. Again and again and this forced the mysterious man to be backed in a corner. Before he could finish him, the man vanished and said the same thing again. "Dark Sphere." Before Prospero could react in time, the mysterious purple sphere crashed into his body again, this time the pain too much to bear. Prospero felt his body fall onto the ground, the last thing he hears is the man yelling on not killing something. It was a good duel. The next time Prospero opened his eyes, he was back in the church, the acid like poison gone. He could hear Iza's voice squeal in excitement. "Prospero, you see that? That is a decent PvP player! You wanted to know what going against another player is like and that was perfect! Oh, and the class, that class I have never seen before and--" Iza began excitedly before Prospero got up from the bed and made his way out of the church. The mysterious man had appeared again, coming towards him. Prospero stopped and couldn't help but chuckle. He was not alone anymore.
Ayuki, this is fantastic! Was the scene originally from Azi's POV? Since Prospero is the one directly involved in all the action (which you did such a great job describing!), he's a great choice for the POV of this scene...although it'd also be super interesting to read it from the man in black's perspective! ;) I really hope these tips helped you! I don't see any head-hopping in this scene so you're definitely on the right track! 😊
Michelle Schusterman Thank you! ^.^ It was originally from the man in black's perspective, which it came from XD Iza was another side character that came in later onwards after the duel from the man in black's POV. And yus, they did help me in a huge way :) Again, thank you ^.^
Hi! amazingly helpful videos and I appreciate you using examples, and editing and correcting those examples as part of your demonstration. I am wondering when a third person omniscient narrator would want to consider showing instead of telling? Since he knows all and can reveal anything, when and why would the third person omniscient narrator choose to show over tell or tell over show? Is there a method in determining this decision? Immersion? Can an omniscient narrator in fact show, similarly to how third person limited utilizes showing? And if so, does showing make the reader wonder why the narrator isn't telling the facts but instead 'zooming in'? I would imagine the omniscient narrator would take a back seat during showing, as showing involves description which the reader would be imagining, instead of focusing on the narrator himself -I could be wrong. Would a third person omniscient narrator be able to choose between saying, "She was beginning to lose her patience," OR "She squeezed her pen so hard, her fingertips were beginning to turn white." One is more showing, one is more telling but I could see them both fitting in omniscient narration -the narrator disappears for a bit during the showing (unless his voice is over the top). Would either version work in omniscient narration? "Dan squirmed in his chair," vs "He felt nervous." Please correct me if I'm wrong, but could both of these versions be third person limited from Dan's point of view AND/OR third person omniscient from the omniscient narrator's point of view? When would an author want their omniscient narrator to show the squirming instead of stating Dan was uncomfortable? If both showing and telling are allowed in omniscient narration, when would the omniscient narrator want to use one over the other? I love your video on third limited vs third omniscient vs head hopping but chose to post this here as you provide good show vs tell examples that link the the detective's or the suspect's pov. I can post it in the omniscient video comments if you think that would help others more. Thanks!
Hi Daniel! Thanks so much for watching! These are fantastic questions, and it's totally fine to post them on this video instead of the omniscient/HH vid! So right up front I'll say this: as far as I know, there isn't a method in determining show v tell. I think it's more about what's important in the story - what you want to emphasize. Regardless of the narrator, we can't "show" literally everything in a novel, right? That would be way too much detail bogging the story down. So we "tell" some stuff, and we just have to do our best to "tell" when it's less important and "show" when it's something we want to emphasize or linger on. I think that holds true for omniscient narrators, too. In the examples you mentioned from the videos, you're right - the omniscient narrator could say any of those. He can zoom in and read the character's thoughts, or he can observe the character and let the reader infer what the character is thinking/feeling. It's ultimately up to the author - I don't necessarily think either would be considered right or wrong, but depending on the scene and the context, one is probably going to be more effective than the other. When in doubt, try writing the passage both ways (telling and showing) and see which one flows best and paints the picture the way you want the reader to see it!
@@MichelleSchustermanAuthor Wow! Thanks so much! I feel honored you took time to read my conundrum and I'm humbled to have received a truly genuine, incredibly helpful response! I will be referring to your videos and these comments and your responses time and time again as I hopefully learn to become a better storyteller and writer. Your in-depth response relieved a lot of my worries and also assured what I believed in my heart - especially about an omniscient narrator being able to say/word things similarly to a third person limited narrator; he can zoom in and read the character's thoughts, or he can observe the character and let the reader infer what the character is thinking/feeling, ..and of course showing or telling being more effective than the other depending on the scene and the context. I will definitely use your advice to try writing passages both ways (telling and showing) and see which flows best. You've excited me even more to continue on the path of telling my tale - in the way that best paints the picture I want the reader to see it! Thanks again!
Aw, thank you so much, Daniel! I really appreciate the kind words and I'm so glad you found this helpful. Keep working on that story! And remember, anything that feels off in the first draft is something you can finish in revisions. The important thing is just to get that story written first! :)
If you do this workshop activity, don't forget to share it in the comments below! 😃
the specific writing examples you give where you edit them along with us to improve are SO helpful. I know you do this in other videos as well and it's so amazing.
Aw thank you!! I'm so glad. I second (third/fourth/fifth) guess the hell out of myself when I'm writing them lol
Michelle Schusterman lol well you shouldn’t! They are well written and very helpful to understanding the concepts.
I'll come back to this video many times. Love this.
I'm writing in dual POV, and most of the time I'm getting it right, but, when I have overlapping scenes when the 2 main characters are in the same time and space, I can flip at times. Thank you for verbalising the things I kind of know but can't express about writing multiple POV stories.
Ah, thanks so much, Dal! I'm so glad it was helpful! It is so, so easy to do that "flip" - I find myself doing it when I'm writing dual POVs, too. Actually, a few weeks ago during your writing sprint livestream, I was working on a dual POV book and wrote a good page and a half in the wrong POV. 😑
Completely obsessed with your channel now. Excuse me while I binge watch everything haha
LOL fine by me! :D Thanks for watching!
This is the most helpful video I’ve come across in my hunt for multiple-POV information! I found your examples extremely helpful in making it all click into place
Thanks so much!! Glad it was helpful!
Thank you for this, because POV and head-hopping are confusing. The whole concept.
Happy to help! Thanks for watching, Camille!
I LOVE THAT YOU USED EXAMPLES...BEST VIDEO YET! New subbie!
Aw, thank you so much! So glad it was helpful! :)
I'm working on a story where the names being used per perspective is very important in regards to thier relationship with eachother. One perspective character, Rex, is adopted into a family with an adopted brother Christopher. Rex calls his brother "Christopher", where his friends call him "Topher", and the other perspective character, Opal, will call him "Chris". Rex calls his adopting father "Mr. Straife", while Christopher will plainly call him "Dad".
Thank you ma'am
perfect explanation thanks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank YOU!! :)
Thanks a lot. Your video is way underrated
Great helpful video thank you.
Thanks so much, Lauren!
What a lovely video!! I loved the examples! It makes it so much easier to understand! When I'm writing now, I keep remembering the things you say hahah every scene now feels so much more purposeful!
I'm a bit surprised by the answer on the whole parent situation! I didn't know that the go-to would be to use "Mom" and "Dad" (as oppose to "his mom" and "his dad")! I thought you only used that if the book was in first person!
I'm gonna have to swap it out in one scene and see how it feels to me!
And, because I'm me, and I've become very spoiled with chiming in about topics haha. I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about verb tenses? It sounds like a silly question, and it might be. When I write in regular past tense, it's all pretty simple to control: past perfect for what happened before Current Time, and past tense for what's happening now.
But here's my confusion: when I write in present tense (which... tbh, maybe I should give that up, it's so messy!), and I'm summarizing something before a scene properly starts, I have no idea what tense to use?
I'm not even sure if my question makes sense, sorry. Here's an example: "The whole week, she was dreading making that phone call, she'd had many people giving her advice, but didn't know who to listen to. [..] She sits down, staring at her phone and decides to just go for it."
The above paragraph is what my brain *wants* to do, it's what always comes out! But there are three different tenses there - past for summarizing something, past perfect to refer to something that happened in the past of that, and then present when I'm ready to start my scene. I'm 99.9% sure that this is simply incorrect.
Ok, I'll stop rambling hahaha
Thank you so much for the videos! I'm learning a lot and am applying all of it to what I'm currently working on!
Ahhh Allie - this is a GREAT topic!! And that's such a good example. I know exactly what you're talking about and it really does get so, so tricky. The worst is when you write a project in present and decide to switch to past or vice versa...oh man, that really messes with my head! I'm going to c/p this comment into my list of future video ideas - it would make a great workshop episode. Thank you!!
Could you give ideas on how one may write POVs for a character with DID?
Thanks
Welcome!
I recently joined your channel and really like the way you approach topics...
@@kirtiomart That's great to hear, thank you! :)
Question! About character naming in 3rd person limited:
In some scenes, I feel like the repetitiveness of the characters’ names can get overbearing if, for example, I switch a lot between Character 1’s actions and their observations of a second character.
Can I use adjectives describing (for example) the hair colour (if it’s unique) of the character whose POV I’m writing instead of their name? Since people don’t usually address themselves that way, I was wondering if it’s a problem.
Example:
POV: Name 1 (the blond)
Other character in the scene: Name 2 (the brunette)
Name 1 froze in place when he saw Name 2.
The brunette had his nose stuck in a book. It was impressive that he wasn’t tripping over things and crashing into walls, with all the other people out in the street.
Name 1 couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Name 2 halted his stroll and looked up from his book- staring directly at *the blond*.
(I don’t know if that was a good example but yeah)
Also great video! It was really helpful!
Oh series! Outlining 2 right now
Ahhh excellent! :D
((Hey and ah, makes sense! Thanks for answering it :) Anyways, here's one POV from an unexpected side character... was partially inspired by another franchise, but similar...))
The moment that Propsero opened his eyes, he was in the small village of Opena. The sights and smells of food beckoned him to try a bowl of their famous hot ramen, just two bronze coins each. It was the one with the pork and shrimp in it, his favourite. He was tempted to buy it but he could hear a voice in his head. A familiar voice.
"Eat up, big guy. It's your first day as a level one character and I cannot wait to unlock your skills." This voice belonged to Iza, his mysterious new master. Prospero nodded and began to eat standing up until--
The bowl of ramen slipped from his hands and crashed into his army clothes. Then, he heard a voice from behind. he couldn't hear the words, but Iza was onto it. He could hear something from Iza, but the clicks were always a good sign.
"I'm sending a duel request. See how he reacts," Iza said to him as Prospero nodded. Then, he turned around to see a man smaller than him, dressed in black clothes and weilding a sword, waiting for battle. He could see his face pale and drained at the look of the invite before his master pressed 'Accept'.
"You got him scared, Iza. Would this be an easy duel, then?" Prospero thought out loud as Iza giggled.
"Don't underestimate him. We don't know his class or what his skillset is. By the look of it, he's the same level as you. Should be a good warm up. And don't worry about the ramen, I'll help you get a free one after we win."
The last sentence from Iza had his fists go into comission for the first time. Prospero decided to give a right hook to the face for his ramen, but it was blocked by said sword. With a grunt, Prospero tried to get in edgeways before the man uttered something that startled him for the first time. The mysterious man had his left hand extended towards him and a magic ball appeared in front of him.
"Dark Sphere!" A black-purple like sphere crashed towards Prospero, making him stumble. Then, he could see the purple skull for the first time, his skin burning alive as though acid had been thrown on his dark skin.
"It seems I am poisoned, Iza. What do we do?" Prospero thought out loud to Iza as he could hear her smirk. At the same time, the mysterious man had used the blunt edge of the sword to the stomach to throw him up in the air before pummelling him into the dirt. Not only he wasn't getting to eat ramen, but it was subsituted for dirt. Prospero remained silent, the poison burning his skin alive.
"I am going to use the skill 'Last Rite'. The poison has taken 3/4 of your health, so ready?" Prospero nodded and concentrated before he let out a loud roar, allowing the extra strength to override the poison. Prospero could hear the mysterious man panicking again, asking for advice. One, two. For every sword jab, he was able to get two punches in. One, two. Again and again and this forced the mysterious man to be backed in a corner. Before he could finish him, the man vanished and said the same thing again.
"Dark Sphere." Before Prospero could react in time, the mysterious purple sphere crashed into his body again, this time the pain too much to bear. Prospero felt his body fall onto the ground, the last thing he hears is the man yelling on not killing something. It was a good duel.
The next time Prospero opened his eyes, he was back in the church, the acid like poison gone. He could hear Iza's voice squeal in excitement.
"Prospero, you see that? That is a decent PvP player! You wanted to know what going against another player is like and that was perfect! Oh, and the class, that class I have never seen before and--" Iza began excitedly before Prospero got up from the bed and made his way out of the church. The mysterious man had appeared again, coming towards him. Prospero stopped and couldn't help but chuckle. He was not alone anymore.
Ayuki, this is fantastic! Was the scene originally from Azi's POV? Since Prospero is the one directly involved in all the action (which you did such a great job describing!), he's a great choice for the POV of this scene...although it'd also be super interesting to read it from the man in black's perspective! ;)
I really hope these tips helped you! I don't see any head-hopping in this scene so you're definitely on the right track! 😊
Michelle Schusterman Thank you! ^.^ It was originally from the man in black's perspective, which it came from XD Iza was another side character that came in later onwards after the duel from the man in black's POV. And yus, they did help me in a huge way :) Again, thank you ^.^
@@ayukiholmes5514 Oh, I see - that's so cool! I love it!
Michelle Schusterman Again, thanks! ^.^
Hi! amazingly helpful videos and I appreciate you using examples, and editing and correcting those examples as part of your demonstration.
I am wondering when a third person omniscient narrator would want to consider showing instead of telling? Since he knows all and can reveal anything, when and why would the third person omniscient narrator choose to show over tell or tell over show? Is there a method in determining this decision? Immersion? Can an omniscient narrator in fact show, similarly to how third person limited utilizes showing? And if so, does showing make the reader wonder why the narrator isn't telling the facts but instead 'zooming in'? I would imagine the omniscient narrator would take a back seat during showing, as showing involves description which the reader would be imagining, instead of focusing on the narrator himself -I could be wrong.
Would a third person omniscient narrator be able to choose between saying, "She was beginning to lose her patience," OR "She squeezed her pen so hard, her fingertips were beginning to turn white." One is more showing, one is more telling but I could see them both fitting in omniscient narration -the narrator disappears for a bit during the showing (unless his voice is over the top). Would either version work in omniscient narration?
"Dan squirmed in his chair," vs "He felt nervous." Please correct me if I'm wrong, but could both of these versions be third person limited from Dan's point of view AND/OR third person omniscient from the omniscient narrator's point of view? When would an author want their omniscient narrator to show the squirming instead of stating Dan was uncomfortable? If both showing and telling are allowed in omniscient narration, when would the omniscient narrator want to use one over the other?
I love your video on third limited vs third omniscient vs head hopping but chose to post this here as you provide good show vs tell examples that link the the detective's or the suspect's pov. I can post it in the omniscient video comments if you think that would help others more. Thanks!
Hi Daniel! Thanks so much for watching!
These are fantastic questions, and it's totally fine to post them on this video instead of the omniscient/HH vid! So right up front I'll say this: as far as I know, there isn't a method in determining show v tell. I think it's more about what's important in the story - what you want to emphasize. Regardless of the narrator, we can't "show" literally everything in a novel, right? That would be way too much detail bogging the story down. So we "tell" some stuff, and we just have to do our best to "tell" when it's less important and "show" when it's something we want to emphasize or linger on.
I think that holds true for omniscient narrators, too. In the examples you mentioned from the videos, you're right - the omniscient narrator could say any of those. He can zoom in and read the character's thoughts, or he can observe the character and let the reader infer what the character is thinking/feeling. It's ultimately up to the author - I don't necessarily think either would be considered right or wrong, but depending on the scene and the context, one is probably going to be more effective than the other.
When in doubt, try writing the passage both ways (telling and showing) and see which one flows best and paints the picture the way you want the reader to see it!
@@MichelleSchustermanAuthor Wow! Thanks so much! I feel honored you took time to read my conundrum and I'm humbled to have received a truly genuine, incredibly helpful response! I will be referring to your videos and these comments and your responses time and time again as I hopefully learn to become a better storyteller and writer.
Your in-depth response relieved a lot of my worries and also assured what I believed in my heart - especially about an omniscient narrator being able to say/word things similarly to a third person limited narrator; he can zoom in and read the character's thoughts, or he can observe the character and let the reader infer what the character is thinking/feeling, ..and of course showing or telling being more effective than the other depending on the scene and the context.
I will definitely use your advice to try writing passages both ways (telling and showing) and see which flows best. You've excited me even more to continue on the path of telling my tale - in the way that best paints the picture I want the reader to see it! Thanks again!
Aw, thank you so much, Daniel! I really appreciate the kind words and I'm so glad you found this helpful. Keep working on that story! And remember, anything that feels off in the first draft is something you can finish in revisions. The important thing is just to get that story written first! :)
That's so confusing!