ALSO I have *no* idea why leadership is a quality that society has chosen to assign to one gender; it's bizarre to me. Leadership should not be seen as masculine or feminine, but just a personality trait. And some couples just want to be equal!
@WusPopN Mane? I don't think we have met for you to give an opinion about me but I'm actually talking from both sides, women and men who want to control the relationship are not good leaders.
Personally I like an alpha male, I agree with Tamera and Loni. It’s attractive when a man leads but to a certain extent, you gotta be willing to let me lead at times and be okay with it.
In general terms I believe...also it's not just the black community it's all...we black women followed so hard with feminism when that was just created because the caucasian woman basically had beef with her man
I want a man to take the lead. Yes I am educated, beautiful and successful. But honestly once you experience a guy taking the lead and you being able to RELAX because HES GOT IT. There’s just sooo much peace in that. THAT ALONE makes me fall in love more because he loves me enough to make my life easier. Like there’s a feeling of safety and support when you have a guy who takes the lead. I would absolutely hate to have a guy who’s not smart enough to make smart moves. Doesn’t know how to do guy stuff. A guy who is confident in his decisions and makes a way and has determination and believes in himself is the man I fall for. The guy who is asking me to make EVERY decision is gonna get on my nerves. Yes, come to me so we can make a decision together but you better have your own mind and have an idea of what you want before asking me. Just get “confirmation” from me that “yes or no I think that’s a good idea.”
Absolutely right!! I love that too. My husband is like that but he let me lead also in some areas, it’s all depends. In some area am good at leading and some he is good and we always make our choices together, at the end we decide together and of course there is some compromise to be made but we always end up with satisfying decision from both of us. With him I feel so relax, so calm and he is so helpful that my mind is at peace. This is what women are missing, yes the men lead but the women helps and if everything is 50/50 with good communication, we lead together!!!! No need to feel treating or afraid because the men leads, if he is a good men he will want you to lead with him🙌🏾 at the end we lead side by side.
@@someone49283 if you’re someone who gets stress out easily, not assertive and agreeable you’re not fit to be a leader. So some women can lead provide they’re temperamentally orientation that way.
O. My. God!!!! I am just nodding with appreciation to the heavens!! Girl you said it SOOOO GOOD!! And sooo delicious!!! Hell yeah!! I want my man to lead and ALL of that that you said! Wow!
My ex wanted me to lead…. Emphasis on EX…. He wanted to rest in his feminine energy 😐 where they do that at 🤔🤔 all of what you said is so true!…. When my ex started acting a certain way I ended it. To much to get into. But I’m so glad God help me see the light while I was still young. This other guy I dated and lived with briefly. He lead and I got to rest in my feminine energy. He preferred it that way. He worked so much I barely saw him, unless he took me to work with him. I’m so glad I got the chance to experience that because my father never provided even in the house. He used us for government assistance, put everything on my mother, was abusive and she passed because of it at 39. He was a bum and big baby who couldn’t make a decision for nothing. The guy I lived with we wanted different things that’s why it ended but we remained friends plus I was young at the time 19. I wasn’t playing house. I’m tired of coming across men who want women to lead. When that’s their job. My ex kept coming to me for every little single thing and it wasn’t like that at first bi don’t know what they hell happened when I leveled up and he made more money than me but I couldn’t respect him asking me for anything, like I was his mother. He looked like a little boy. He didn’t want to grow up. He fronted as if he was a man. Then when he got tired of working, he quit his job, lost his place on purpose, turned in his car and tried to live off me. Four days he spent a night a red flag went off. I was like hell no….. he wanted me to take care of him. When I put him out, he admitted that was the same reason why his mother put him out before she passed. He wanted me to take her role. Nope!
@@Ca.Sunkissed girl yes! And I don't think that makes me or other women less than. I agree with Tamera completely I'll LET a man lead and I'll know when to pop off when need be 🤣😂
Fantasia is biblically speaking. The lord said the man is suppose to lead so he should. However men need to prepare theirselves for the role cause if you go into it unprepared that's when the woman has to do the man's role.
You are correct as well...that's why as parents we need to guide our children correctly..one of the reasons why many men can't lead a family today is because they were taught by their mothers ..either verbally or by observation in the house and no father to guide them (child) either
What most people fail to understand is that when there is UNDERSTANDING in a relationship it doesn't matter who leads. I mean there are relationship where women are the 'breadwinners' and same goes for men too. So one should not say men lead in a relationship.
Well most men out there do not regard the woman as a character for assigning roles in a relationship. Just funny how low-valued we are in the world. Well if every woman were too have so much money and fortune it might have changed the narrative.
@@johnnorbert2408 You know I actually thought the same way, not till I started making profits from the investment I kicked off with Mrs Trish Tyler without telling my husband. He had some weird behavior going on and that was because I was making good money on my own.
@@catiamatias6290 You invest with Mrs Trish Tyler, the financial expert from Orlando, FL. I do too and she is quite reliable and profitable. What marvels me is despite the instability of the prices on charts for this index funds Trish and her group make good profits for the investors with a very good commission. Don't you find that amazing?
The world completely missed Fantasia’s whole point. She was referring to women seeing and treating their men as competition vs a partnership. She was basically saying stop treating your partner like he out to mislead you and trust he guidance and leadership. *Keep in mind that does not apply to males in a man’s body but real men who are trying to build a healthy future with you*
Very true my mother treated my father like this my whole life. My mother was so bad to him. She constantly is trying to have more power. She HAS to control everything or all hell will break loose. She tries to compete so hard for power and to lead yet my dad doesn't even try and has more power. Sadly, her behavior took a toll on my dad, he tried to help her and fix things for so long. No hes done. They are getting divorced. I feel for my poor father, I really wish he had a nice woman that loved him. It's what he deserves. Fantasia was really right cause that's exactly what my mother did, now she has no man.
and because of today's society...I knew they would miss the point. as soon as u say the words men and lead in the same sentence females will go off instead of take time to understand
Men treat competent, self sustaining women as their competition. Not the other way around. Instead of seeing their skills as a plus, they feel threatened because the world told them they should “lead”. Which is why the saying “men don’t marry smart women” still rings true. Men don’t like women who make more, and are more intelligent.
I agree with Adrienne, live each day at a time because you never know what life might throw at you and having “roles” can sometimes be conflicting, what if one of you loses their job and has to stay at home and take care of the kids? sometimes men might find that offensive cus it’s not “their role” so I say live each day at a time equally so if one day god forbid something happens you’re both ok.
@john smith I disagree with you. People are very complicated and someone who is an alpha male and likes to lead does not always necessarily want to always lead. There are times where it becomes too much. That's when the roles change the ''alpha male'' let's his significant other take the lead. Same for a beta boy, he might prefer to always give the power to his significant other because it's less stressful but there times where he would like to lead. A person isn't either this or that. Also, the roles we are given in a society are often forced on us. A person might have a tendency to be a leader but the person itself might also have a tendency to follow in certain situations. My point is, it's not black and white.
Yes it can be situational, some alpha males allow you to take the lead on things they don’t feel they need to lead. Like some will say I’ll pay the bills but you take the lead on organizing our money or making decisions for the kids because I trust you to make good decisions on your own. Everyone has what they are in charge of based on maybe what their strong suit is in the relationship.
@@chocolatecuban experience is what matters for sure and I feel like if you're letting someone lead because they're born Male then you become a burden on them. I like to lead at times to take some of the weight off my mans back. Men shouldn't be forced to always lead because they're men.
I don’t like the idea of somebody telling someone else or anybody why they’re single... some women choose to be single , some are independent , some are codependent and will do anything to keep one , whereas I feel like the ones who and have a give and a take are the ones most men are looking for... however that doesn’t mean the next man doesn’t want a independent woman... it all depends on the both the man and the woman
And I'm also sick of ppl thinking that just because somebody doesn't want to be single, that it automatically means they're codependent. I'm not saying that is exactly what you're saying, but please don't make it sound like that. I'm fine with myself when being single, but I simply didn't prefer to be. I prayed for the right man and for God to make me the best woman I can be. Wanting that doesn't mean I'm co dependent.
2 people can not lead!!! There's only one leader. You can walk together, but not lead together. Roles have been reversed, and this is why there's so many men who act like females. There's no structure anymore. Everybody doing what they want to do instead of what God wanted us to do. This is why we are living in the world we're living in now!!!! 🤔
@Queen Maya ,you missed my whole point. Went right over your head. No comprehension?!! Mental illness is real, and should not be thrown around because you don't understand what's being said, or can't comprehend the context in which it's given. May God bless you.🤔🤷♀️💆♀️😌🙏
@Queen Maya read your comment/reply and take a good look in the mirror. This should help you, but then again you don't comprehend well, so this might go over your head as well. Last reply to you, because I see you need help, and really have some issues within yourself. Projections don't work on someone like me. May God bless you, and be well.💆♀️🤷♀️🙏😌
Couple things: 1. Fantasia is correct 2. Just because a man leads doesn’t mean the woman doesn’t have a say 3. Four professed Christians on the stage and no one mentioned what scripture has to say on the matter. 4. The church is the bride of Christ and Christ sacrificed his life for his bride. Christ’s ministry on earth was that of a SERVANT LEADER. Husbands are called to lead their families in that very way. So when a wife is submissive to her husband, she is submitting to a SERVANT leader. Not a domineering authoritarian leader. But one that loves as Christ loves and sacrifices as Christ sacrifices, provides as Christ provides, protects as Christ protects. When husbands FIRST fulfill their role as servant leader, then wives would have no problem fulfilling theirs.
Christianity is not just professing it but allowing the word of God to direct your life. Someone who is truly led by the Spirit would find no qualms in giving Biblical reference. Thank you for sharing!
Exactly! It's a two way street! As long as we have a Fondation of respect! A queen needs to be treated like a queen. Don't lead me to abuse me and to fornicate with other women! Lol
Kendra Cosey: Now make that make sense!?!🤔 It seems your EGO has blinded you. You could never in your wildest dreams know what it takes to be a man. Some of you don’t know what it takes to be a woman...🤣 There are others ways a man can make a woman his wife. And it has nothing to do with a ring.
I let my man lead, 100%. That doesn’t mean he steps on me, doesn’t mean I don’t have a say.. we have the upmost respect for each other and know what our roles are to each other to make it the most amazing marriage. Their are amazing things I bring to the table, and that he does too! The moment you step over your mans pride and instinct to provide and be a man of the house is the moment where your man feels like he isn’t doing something right in the marriage.
I think ppl misunderstand the meaning of ‘submit’. It doesn’t mean to be a slave, it just means vulnerability and both giving each other the chance to be a leader and a follower
Women often SAY they "disagree" with statements like "the man is head of the family/house" but most of their actions and dating preferences prove the opposite. Most do want a man to lead. But even in the Bible when it talks about men leading, it also talks about the great RESPONSIBILITY he has and how he will be punished if he leads selfishly. Of course women "let" their men lead; because they TRUST the man they choose and feel that his decisions are taking them (and/or the children) into account. If they attach themselves to a selfish or recklessly stupid guy, things won't work. Be a "leader" doesn't mean getting your way all the time. The wife (and children) must always be factored in and that's going to mean the leader will do things THEY suggest/want/need, too. Good leaders aren't on a power trip...
I don't think I could ever be with someone who thinks about who the "leader" is between us. The only relationships I'm into, friendship or anything, are those that are teams. Challenges come up where, like Ade said, are best met with whoever's better at it! Tamera is right about knowing what you're getting into.
Auntie Loni, tell it how it is. And sometimes people don't understand maybe single women want to focus on working on themselves rather its career, family, education, etc. And sometimes it's just not the right time. There are so many factors why someone would be single. And if that person is happy to be single let them live their lives.
Allowing a man lead in a MARRIAGE is beautiful. I’m a headstrong woman and I’m not a pushover by a long shot, so that does not mean as soon as I say I do, I turn into Alice from the Brady Bunch 😂 What it does mean as a single woman who desires a strong partner and partnership is that I understand who I am as a woman of God and any man I choose to come into that relationship with my father has to not only be lead by my Heavenly Father as well but know how to lead me and my family. Like Adrienne and Tam said, traditional gender roles aren’t necessary. What works for us, works for us. But you better believe regardless of how successful, driven and strong headed I am, I never want to carry extra weight that an amazing man of God was sent to carry and manage for me. I have no problem allowing a man to handle anything I don’t need or have to! IMO...When a man is truly lead by God, you will have no problem letting him lead you!
Why is anyone leading? A relationship is just two people enjoying each other's company for a period of time. If I want to cook tonight, I will. If he wants to cook tomorrow, okay go ahead. If I want to further my career and it'll benefit the both of us, help me out. If you want to further your career, I'll support you. What exactly are we leading towards? Leading is for an end goal. We are just trying to love each other day by day. There is no finish line.
The issue is that message isn’t for everyone. They take everything too literal on this show. Some women enjoy traditional roles and want a man to lead.
@@petrinegordon I believe in God but I don't believe in a god that judges people based off of sexuality. And people always want to pin point small things in the Bible. Trust me y'all don't want to live the biblical way if you have read all of the Bible and what the Bible says.
It all depends on what you want. Some men like to lead, and some women like to lead. Some men prefer the woman to lead, some women prefer the man to lead. You can't paint all relationships with one broad stroke.
Thank you for saying that at the end Loni. We never hear people telling men what they need to do to get into a relationship, they only feel the need to shame women
SARA most black men are raised in single mother households, so they learn about leadership from their mothers.. that’s why they suck at it. Lacked good male leadership growing
Those men you speak of can’t lead because they are effeminate. Raised on government assistance by a single mother(so called queen) who was dumb enough to let a degenerate (who was raised in that same manner) impregnate her. SMGDH!!🤣
Mike Carter you’re such a troll 😅 you’re only commenting statements and don’t back them up with explanation. Maybe if you did, women might see why they should/shouldn’t allow men to lead 😅
Lilman Thomas That’s the problem though and it’s why I have an issue with SOME feminist ideologies, because women have become so insecure in their positions that we have to compete with men. Equal does not mean identical and I wish people would understand that. We are not meant to do everything a man can do, we’re meant to do everything they CAN’T. There is nothing wrong with a strong independent woman, but there’s also nothing wrong with a strong alpha male. Society has made it to where masculinity is such a bad thing and it’s not. There is a such thing as toxic femininity the same way there is a such thing as toxic masculinity. 🤷🏾♀️
I think both men and women need to take turns leading. One is not better than the other, and I feel like if you give one the power of being a leader, it'll get to their heads and they'll abuse it.
Eddie N absolutely. i’m a strong advocate for splitting the bill on any and every date unless someone really really wants to pay (for who knows why). you pay for your meal, i’ll pay for mine. as for dates, the man should pay half and the woman should pay half.
Eddie N i think times are changing, and women are becoming more open to the idea of paying equally. i feel for men who are with the type of woman who expects their man to pay for everything, however. if you both have an income, you both have to pay. i’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject discussed in the video. i won’t be offended lmao
Eddie N that’s perfect. i think i might be misunderstanding what people see as leadership, as some may use it to control their partner. i like a man like you, who initiates things, but let’s me have a say. that’s a good relationship. thanks for opening my mind. i still think both men and women need to be leaders in certain parts of the relationship for it to be fair, but i see where you’re coming from.
Men have the God-given role to lead their families. (1 Cor. 11:3) However, they cannot be tyrants. Their headship should reflect the type of headship Christ has over the congregation. It should be measured with love, respect, and knowledge of the woman he has married. (1 Peter 3:7) When a spiritual man leads in imitation of Christ, a spiritual woman will follow his lead.
I believe in the role God assigned each gender in the beginning. The man should be the leader at home. The problem is, society has distorted the meaning of leadership. Just because a man is a leader doesn’t mean he’s to be controlling. Leadership and control are two different terms with two totally different meanings. Learn the difference, people!
Amanda Tate exactly these deluded Bible worshipping people in these comments keep quoting roles in the Bible as if it’s fact. That 2,000 year old book was written by MEN and there are SO Many contradictions as well as things that condone things like slavery and even condone the oppression of women
Ladys, if you want traditional aspects in a relationship like a provider that automatically disqualifies you from a leading position. You are absolutley not allowed to have cherry picking for what you want and expect the partner has to do fill both roles for things you don't want to do or expect him/her to do. You fit one role, period!
I, myself am an Alpha women. I was raised to be one by an Alpha women but it doesn't mean I always want to be one. I've spent so much of my life controlling everything and having to take care of everything because that's all I know. I know that if I want things to be done I have to do it myself. It would be nice to have a man that could take some of that control away so it's not just sitting on my shoulders.
That is probably the most honest and sincere comments I have seen in this post! I have never refered to myself as an Alpha male, but I was taught by both of my parents to lead in my house. There are alot of men out here who refuse to stand in the role of head of household and women have to stand up for the sake of the children.
I love hearing Loni's opinion! She always speaks the truth, she doesn't care if the other girls agree or not! She tells you how it is! We all need a Loni Love in our lives
In my 12 year relationship, we both have switched roles at times. He loves when I step in and take care of things and vice versa. Sometimes 2 people can be strong minded and feisty, there’s nothing wrong with that; you just got to both be on the same page on what works for the 2!
There’s more that goes into relationships than this idea of leader and non-leader. I think strong contributions from both sides (without the need of a leader) equates to a healthy relationship. You’ll find that leading and controlling all the time is hard and gets tiring over time.
umm she made perfect sense if you watched the entire interview and she followed up with her husbands input on IG stories much more deeper than the crap y’all talking!
What constitutes as acting like a man.. being a strong woman doesnt mean you cant get a man, you got a man because you’re his bitch, figuratively speaking
@@8beautylover8 Lol my mom tries to lead by controlling. She claims shes a strong independent women. Shes weak and not independent. She has treated my dad so bad ever since she decided to be a "feminist". Now they are getting divorced. All my dad wanted was a woman that loves him. Society has brain washed my mom so I agree. She had a great husband right in front of her, he tried working things out for years. Now she lost him.
Very true, we don't need to fit all these gender roles but it has become about control for lots of women. It's ok to take on traditional feminine roles. These days femininity is looked down upon but there is nothing wrong with it.
@@8beautylover8 Just because you have a man and let him lead doesn't mean your his bitch at all. Letting someone lead doesn't mean they control you or secured you from the world. Society makes it seem like letting a man lead is terrible but in reality that is what God intended.
2:50-3:30 is key to me. There's a difference between leadership and domination. A man's role is to lead the relationship in love and with wisdom and grace, not aggressively domineer and control. I think of relationships like a slow dance. THE MAN INITIATES and asks the woman to dance. He makes the first steps and the woman follows because she chose to trust him to lead. They dance to the tempo God sets, and, Lord willing, they dance into the covenant of marriage.
kaheynie I don’t think we should think of it like we’re secondary. Not all men like to or can lead. Same as not all women can lead or would like to do so. A lot of women think emotionally and a lot of men think more logically and vice versa. So I guess that’s why some women like their men leading and some men like it when women lead 🤷🏻♀️
Its not secondary to give the leadership to a man.. its teamwork- it takes strength and true love and support to help out excute the ultimate vision as a couple.. we let celebs and media fool us into destroying our homes when we don't fully understand how God intended the family dynamic to function in true love and support... its important to not let experiences ruin our future.
The number one reason many BLK men marry outside their race. They prefer submissive women instead of a Pit bull in a skirt. Has nothing to do with her education or intelligence. Who wants to lay with a Young M.A?
Yes Tamera!! I have a man who likes to lead at times, but when it comes to making plans for our family, financials, and kids its all on me. So I agree, it all depends on the man and the woman in the relationship.
I think Jeanie is delusional af… I think, Tamera was right on IMO. Y'all missed the WHOLE POINT... ladies allow your man to lead & be the provider & protector. It's not about titles or roles... that's about understanding, it's okay to be smart enough to not have to be "strong" but a lady.
lol it’s 2021. there’s no such thing as gender roles. women are indeed strong no quotation marks needed. jeannie is indeed intelligent, delusional is the wrong word used. women are human beings lol we can protect, provide and lead ourselves. no need to wait on someone else to do it because he’s the opposing gender.
I can provide for ma self and I know really good kick boxing so I can also protect ma self. I’m an alpha female and I’m currently dating an alpha male. He’s not dominant nor submissive. I’m not dominant nor submissive. It’s 50/50 in our relationship and it’s a very good relationship built on love and trust.
@@dayjahomara it’s biology. Deny it all you want. There is a reason straight women are attracted to “strong, confident” men. Some roles are literally based in evolution. Men have an urge to provide and protect, period.
I will never agree with a man being a "house wife" or house husband, nah, that just doesn't sit right with me. Our load as women is usually going to be much harder with carrying babies, etc. And I can only speak for me and what I allow or won't allow in a relationship. As far as Fantasia, I don't believe she was trying to give all single women advice, definitely feels like in this day and age people always want to find something to be upset about, if something doesn't apply let it fly, Loni that's one of her downfalls twisting peoples words and trying to correct everybody pipe down and humble yourself sis. People like that to me are so sensible until it comes time to correct them, then they are above being wrong and accepting correcting.
There can never be 2 leaders. What successful kingdom was ever built with more than 1 king? In fact most kingdoms fall because someone else wants the power, someone else wants to be king. Ladies, it's okay to follow a leader. It's just about picking the right leader! Just because a man is head doesn't mean your opinions won't matter. A good king listens to advice, and takes the feelings of others into consideration to create the best outcome for his kingdom. If you pick a good king he will listen to what you have to say and take your feelings into consideration before making a decision that will affect the household. Just Choose Your King Wisely.
*Men*, it's okay to follow a leader. It's just about picking the right leader! Just because a *woman* is head doesn't mean your opinions won't matter. A good *queen* listens to advice, and takes the feelings of others into consideration to create the best outcome for *her* *queendom*. If you pick a good *queen she* will listen to what you have to say and take your feelings into consideration before making a decision that will affect the household. Just choose your *Queen* wisely. It goes both ways. 👈
R G I mean, yes, men also have to choose their queens wisely; but men shouldn’t be looking for someone to lead them? A man should be looking for support - women can offer valuable guidance, practical help, and comfort for their spouses. Much more than the physical appearance and sex that most men look for today. If a man wanted a leader, then he would just get with another man. Women also shouldn’t want a man who needs a leader, because they will be more easily persuaded since they have none of their own ideas and convictions. Making them more susceptible to advances from other women, tug from “the boys” to go out and engage in reckless, childish behavior, and more likely to make poorer decisions over all. It’ll be like having to take care of a irrational teenager. 👎🏾
@Mia Muhammad Atiny & Nctzen Women leading men is not traditional, it’s not biblical, and it’s poorly functional because it goes against human nature and biological programming. If a woman wants to look for a man that will follow her lead - that’s on her. I can’t stop anyone from adopting an adult child. Maybe what she’s looking for is another dependent to file on her taxes. 🤷🏾♀️ If that makes her happy, she can go for it.
@Mia Muhammad Atiny & Nctzen I think the miscommunication lies in what you’re thinking when you hear leader. This isn’t a master and dog relationship. It’s a pilot and co-pilot relationship. Co-pilots have input, but final says are the pilot. The main lead is the pilot and the co-pilot is support. You can’t have 2 primary pilots.
I mean I agree with roles! Biblically. In general, we all have “roles” anyway. You cant get away from it. As long as the 2 people in the relationship feel like everyone is playing their roles right, Who are we to say different? 🤷🏾♀️
I’m old fashioned and believe Men should be the leader, I agree with Tamera. But I also somewhat agree with Adrienne in a situation where things may change and like when his strength is your weakness and vice versa.if some roles have to change they have to change
I agree with everyone. It's just different strokes for different folks. We're in a time that everyone has there own opinion and that's ok. Just don't classify everyone in the same group. And that's that!!
A man can only lead me if he has some sense in his head.. cos u ain’t leading me behind bars 😂😂. As Fantasia said ‘the right man’. Pray for a wise man and lead by example so he can be a good leader.
It definitely depends on the relationship. There doesn’t need to be a “leadership” in the household if that’s not what your relationship is about. Everyone is different. Fantasia is her own person and she desires a man that will lead while she follows. Nothing wrong with that. Some of us women just aren’t happy with the “follower” role. 🤷🏼♀️
It sucks I see both sides of the conversation. I just ended my marriage because I felt like I was constantly leading. It’s nice to be led (it makes you feel protected)!
I HEAR YOU GIRL. It is exhausting when you have to be the responsible one making all the doctor appointments, making sure everything is paid on time, and just leading overall. Men are meant to be the leaders.
100% agree with Tasia! If you HAVE to lead, of course, no one is going to die waiting for a man. But if you have a man, let them take the lead! Why are we doing everyones job?! Let the man be a man. We are different, we have different roles, we have different things to contribute. No one is better than the other-we bring OUR best to the table.
Развлечения
Yeah if they know the difference between leading and controlling
I'm the king of my castle period
Tamara always goes overboard to try and prove her point
Right
Amen!!Amen!!Amen!!When Its Leading In The Right Way.....
I second that Sis!!!
"I married an alpha male. I *let* him lead" And there's the key difference. Not being forced into a role but being given the choice.
ALSO I have *no* idea why leadership is a quality that society has chosen to assign to one gender; it's bizarre to me. Leadership should not be seen as masculine or feminine, but just a personality trait. And some couples just want to be equal!
@@issy0613 Leading is different than controlling.
Totally agree with everything you said! 🙌🏼
u get to have choice when you have role
@@issy0613 a woman will never ever be equal to a man and she shouldn't want to be
Before you let a man lead make sure he's being lead by GOD
YUP
A million likes needed for this post you summed it up.
AMEN 🙏
amen
That’s how she should’ve started that statement !
I looooove the way Tamera articulated herself. She is soo good at explaining her opinions!
A good leader is the person who doesn't need the leadership to feel powerful. If you try to control everything that's not leadership
That's psychotic. Like Jeannie Mai was to Freddie.
Tru
Exactly. I love your definition of a leader.
@WusPopN Mane? I don't think we have met for you to give an opinion about me but I'm actually talking from both sides, women and men who want to control the relationship are not good leaders.
@WusPopN Mane? It's terrible that you have dated women like that (which is not 90%).
Tamera is 100% right!! Its situational, it all depends on the couple. Period!
Wendy Abarca totally agree! 💜
Yes agree
But to play devils advocate, would being against traditional roles be against religious groups' views of marriage like christians and muslims?
Mike Carter How so?
@@mimia.4810 Don't interact with that demon. It's a troll.
Fantasia was speaking to those women who don’t allow their men to lead and/or emasculate them.
I knew what Fantasia meant. I actually kind of agree with her..!!!
Me too
Me three😁
Personally I like an alpha male, I agree with Tamera and Loni. It’s attractive when a man leads but to a certain extent, you gotta be willing to let me lead at times and be okay with it.
Jessie Alba right
Same. I prefer a man leading too. However, he has to do his role right. If he wants me to let him lead, he needs to be a true leader.
Maip video and that’s why you should help in that case unless you’re to lazy to do anything
@Maip video that's why it's important to choose your mate wisely especially when procreating
Exactly! As long as the Fondation is Respect! We'll should be fine. Like don't lead me to abuse me!
I think she is talking about African American households where being a single mother is becoming too normal. Not in a general term.
She was they just chopping it up its aim at the blk community
In general terms I believe...also it's not just the black community it's all...we black women followed so hard with feminism when that was just created because the caucasian woman basically had beef with her man
exactly lmao they don’t be listening forreal
Leia Richardson you’re talking right sis!!!!!
@@Cecesingsonpitch yup...it's sad that it's gotten so far
I want a man to take the lead. Yes I am educated, beautiful and successful. But honestly once you experience a guy taking the lead and you being able to RELAX because HES GOT IT. There’s just sooo much peace in that. THAT ALONE makes me fall in love more because he loves me enough to make my life easier. Like there’s a feeling of safety and support when you have a guy who takes the lead. I would absolutely hate to have a guy who’s not smart enough to make smart moves. Doesn’t know how to do guy stuff. A guy who is confident in his decisions and makes a way and has determination and believes in himself is the man I fall for. The guy who is asking me to make EVERY decision is gonna get on my nerves. Yes, come to me so we can make a decision together but you better have your own mind and have an idea of what you want before asking me. Just get “confirmation” from me that “yes or no I think that’s a good idea.”
Absolutely right!! I love that too. My husband is like that but he let me lead also in some areas, it’s all depends. In some area am good at leading and some he is good and we always make our choices together, at the end we decide together and of course there is some compromise to be made but we always end up with satisfying decision from both of us. With him I feel so relax, so calm and he is so helpful that my mind is at peace. This is what women are missing, yes the men lead but the women helps and if everything is 50/50 with good communication, we lead together!!!! No need to feel treating or afraid because the men leads, if he is a good men he will want you to lead with him🙌🏾 at the end we lead side by side.
@@someone49283 if you’re someone who gets stress out easily, not assertive and agreeable you’re not fit to be a leader. So some women can lead provide they’re temperamentally orientation that way.
Yea no,women should support
O. My. God!!!!
I am just nodding with appreciation to the heavens!! Girl you said it SOOOO GOOD!! And sooo delicious!!! Hell yeah!!
I want my man to lead and ALL of that that you said! Wow!
My ex wanted me to lead…. Emphasis on EX…. He wanted to rest in his feminine energy 😐 where they do that at 🤔🤔 all of what you said is so true!…. When my ex started acting a certain way I ended it. To much to get into. But I’m so glad God help me see the light while I was still young.
This other guy I dated and lived with briefly. He lead and I got to rest in my feminine energy. He preferred it that way. He worked so much I barely saw him, unless he took me to work with him. I’m so glad I got the chance to experience that because my father never provided even in the house. He used us for government assistance, put everything on my mother, was abusive and she passed because of it at 39. He was a bum and big baby who couldn’t make a decision for nothing.
The guy I lived with we wanted different things that’s why it ended but we remained friends plus I was young at the time 19. I wasn’t playing house. I’m tired of coming across men who want women to lead. When that’s their job. My ex kept coming to me for every little single thing and it wasn’t like that at first bi don’t know what they hell happened when I leveled up and he made more money than me but I couldn’t respect him asking me for anything, like I was his mother. He looked like a little boy.
He didn’t want to grow up. He fronted as if he was a man. Then when he got tired of working, he quit his job, lost his place on purpose, turned in his car and tried to live off me. Four days he spent a night a red flag went off. I was like hell no….. he wanted me to take care of him. When I put him out, he admitted that was the same reason why his mother put him out before she passed. He wanted me to take her role. Nope!
Tam gets it 💯
Fantasia’s comments were taken the wrong way.
Idk I'm tired of leading 😓😵🤕 it'd be nice to have someone take charge to help control things.
Rose Castillo yes, this!!
@@Ca.Sunkissed girl yes! And I don't think that makes me or other women less than. I agree with Tamera completely I'll LET a man lead and I'll know when to pop off when need be 🤣😂
Rose Castillo Sounds like you been around the wrong men. The right Man can lead and know when to step to the side and allow to be led.
@@slick9454 you are very right
Rose Castillo Nice to know there still women out there like you who have there head on straight and make perfect sense lol
Fantasia is biblically speaking. The lord said the man is suppose to lead so he should. However men need to prepare theirselves for the role cause if you go into it unprepared that's when the woman has to do the man's role.
Tiffany Hill speak!!!!! Yassss! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This world doesn’t want to do marriage the Lords way🤷🏾♀️ and that’s why we divorce so easily
Speak on it. God knows what he was doing when he gave the genders certain strengths and weaknesses.
You are correct as well...that's why as parents we need to guide our children correctly..one of the reasons why many men can't lead a family today is because they were taught by their mothers ..either verbally or by observation in the house and no father to guide them (child) either
@@TheElysian7 nope...
Fantasia is speaking nothing but the painful truth and for some that’s a hard pill to swallow.
HER truth, it aint my truth and most women dont really like this whole gender role bullshit
@@WhatEver-mv6qi yesssss
Right
@@WhatEver-mv6qi 👏 👏 👏 👏
What most people fail to understand is that when there is UNDERSTANDING in a relationship it doesn't matter who leads. I mean there are relationship where women are the 'breadwinners' and same goes for men too. So one should not say men lead in a relationship.
Well most men out there do not regard the woman as a character for assigning roles in a relationship. Just funny how low-valued we are in the world. Well if every woman were too have so much money and fortune it might have changed the narrative.
@@williamsandrew9521 You all give so much attributes to money. It isn't always about the money you know?
@@johnnorbert2408 Oh I do not think you get the picture now do you?
@@johnnorbert2408 You know I actually thought the same way, not till I started making profits from the investment I kicked off with Mrs Trish Tyler without telling my husband. He had some weird behavior going on and that was because I was making good money on my own.
@@catiamatias6290 You invest with Mrs Trish Tyler, the financial expert from Orlando, FL. I do too and she is quite reliable and profitable. What marvels me is despite the instability of the prices on charts for this index funds Trish and her group make good profits for the investors with a very good commission. Don't you find that amazing?
The world completely missed Fantasia’s whole point. She was referring to women seeing and treating their men as competition vs a partnership. She was basically saying stop treating your partner like he out to mislead you and trust he guidance and leadership. *Keep in mind that does not apply to males in a man’s body but real men who are trying to build a healthy future with you*
Very true my mother treated my father like this my whole life. My mother was so bad to him. She constantly is trying to have more power. She HAS to control everything or all hell will break loose. She tries to compete so hard for power and to lead yet my dad doesn't even try and has more power. Sadly, her behavior took a toll on my dad, he tried to help her and fix things for so long. No hes done. They are getting divorced. I feel for my poor father, I really wish he had a nice woman that loved him. It's what he deserves. Fantasia was really right cause that's exactly what my mother did, now she has no man.
I agree with you and they missed that what Tamera said is exactly what Fantasia was talking about ...
Come on preach 🙌 lol. I was saying the same thing. They missed the whole point.. lol
and because of today's society...I knew they would miss the point. as soon as u say the words men and lead in the same sentence females will go off instead of take time to understand
Men treat competent, self sustaining women as their competition. Not the other way around. Instead of seeing their skills as a plus, they feel threatened because the world told them they should “lead”. Which is why the saying “men don’t marry smart women” still
rings true. Men don’t like
women who make more, and are more intelligent.
I agree with Adrienne, live each day at a time because you never know what life might throw at you and having “roles” can sometimes be conflicting, what if one of you loses their job and has to stay at home and take care of the kids? sometimes men might find that offensive cus it’s not “their role” so I say live each day at a time equally so if one day god forbid something happens you’re both ok.
@john smith I disagree with you. People are very complicated and someone who is an alpha male and likes to lead does not always necessarily want to always lead. There are times where it becomes too much. That's when the roles change the ''alpha male'' let's his significant other take the lead. Same for a beta boy, he might prefer to always give the power to his significant other because it's less stressful but there times where he would like to lead. A person isn't either this or that. Also, the roles we are given in a society are often forced on us. A person might have a tendency to be a leader but the person itself might also have a tendency to follow in certain situations. My point is, it's not black and white.
Yes it can be situational, some alpha males allow you to take the lead on things they don’t feel they need to lead. Like some will say I’ll pay the bills but you take the lead on organizing our money or making decisions for the kids because I trust you to make good decisions on your own. Everyone has what they are in charge of based on maybe what their strong suit is in the relationship.
@john smith how you going to say that they are wrong for a opinion ?! Youre negative opinion is wrong !
@john smith yea... Yea you are . it's ok. We all make misteaks. This is one is you're mistake. Learn from it .
Doing something for the leader doesn't make you the leader, it makes you a computer subordinate
Sometimes I lead and sometimes my boyfriend leads. It depends on who is more understanding and has more experience in handling that situation.
Benny R Yep, experience leads, not gender or egos.
@@chocolatecuban experience is what matters for sure and I feel like if you're letting someone lead because they're born Male then you become a burden on them. I like to lead at times to take some of the weight off my mans back. Men shouldn't be forced to always lead because they're men.
make total sense, experiance and understanding lead, not gender and ego 👍
Tamara kept it real, that why she’ll be married the Longest
I don’t like the idea of somebody telling someone else or anybody why they’re single... some women choose to be single , some are independent , some are codependent and will do anything to keep one , whereas I feel like the ones who and have a give and a take are the ones most men are looking for... however that doesn’t mean the next man doesn’t want a independent woman... it all depends on the both the man and the woman
And I'm also sick of ppl thinking that just because somebody doesn't want to be single, that it automatically means they're codependent. I'm not saying that is exactly what you're saying, but please don't make it sound like that. I'm fine with myself when being single, but I simply didn't prefer to be. I prayed for the right man and for God to make me the best woman I can be. Wanting that doesn't mean I'm co dependent.
Kindah I completely agree with you , and I just want to clarify I did say some 😂 but I do appreciate your perspective
Tru because a lot of men are simps and want a woman to rule lead them
Myronn Coleman lol... this is why they single. Nobody can tell them anything, lol.
Preach it
I disagree. Kings and Queens lead together and support each other.
You said it best!👏👏👏💯💯💯💯
!!
2 people can not lead!!! There's only one leader. You can walk together, but not lead together. Roles have been reversed, and this is why there's so many men who act like females. There's no structure anymore. Everybody doing what they want to do instead of what God wanted us to do. This is why we are living in the world we're living in now!!!! 🤔
@Queen Maya ,you missed my whole point. Went right over your head. No comprehension?!! Mental illness is real, and should not be thrown around because you don't understand what's being said, or can't comprehend the context in which it's given. May God bless you.🤔🤷♀️💆♀️😌🙏
@Queen Maya read your comment/reply and take a good look in the mirror. This should help you, but then again you don't comprehend well, so this might go over your head as well. Last reply to you, because I see you need help, and really have some issues within yourself. Projections don't work on someone like me. May God bless you, and be well.💆♀️🤷♀️🙏😌
Why does anyone have to lead? Cant we walk side by side? Cant we be equal?
Sometimes i lead, some i follow. Most of of time im by your side.
because leadership is required for any functioning interaction between two or more people
@@etf42 I took this conversation to be more of a partner relationship. Not a work one. As a partner. In a relationship.
@@gigidodson that makes leadership even more important
etf42 Nope, only if one person is an idiot. Two equally yoked individuals can live harmoniously.
Ariel H leadership brings harmony
Couple things:
1. Fantasia is correct
2. Just because a man leads doesn’t mean the woman doesn’t have a say
3. Four professed Christians on the stage and no one mentioned what scripture has to say on the matter.
4. The church is the bride of Christ and Christ sacrificed his life for his bride. Christ’s ministry on earth was that of a SERVANT LEADER. Husbands are called to lead their families in that very way. So when a wife is submissive to her husband, she is submitting to a SERVANT leader. Not a domineering authoritarian leader. But one that loves as Christ loves and sacrifices as Christ sacrifices, provides as Christ provides, protects as Christ protects. When husbands FIRST fulfill their role as servant leader, then wives would have no problem fulfilling theirs.
Thank you someone actually gets it. God bless you
Destiny Good blessings to you as well 🙏🏽
YES
My thoughts exactly!!!!! So disappointed.
Christianity is not just professing it but allowing the word of God to direct your life. Someone who is truly led by the Spirit would find no qualms in giving Biblical reference. Thank you for sharing!
I let him be the King because I love being the queen. He uplifts me and I uplift him. The king and the queen both make a team !
Thank you I agree. 100%
Amen
Thank you! This is literally all Fantasia was saying.
A Queen can not uplift a king
Exactly! It's a two way street! As long as we have a Fondation of respect! A queen needs to be treated like a queen. Don't lead me to abuse me and to fornicate with other women! Lol
You have to listen to the whole interview. She said so much more
Thank you and check her IG for her husbands input makes so much more sense!!!
Right that was I was thinking, like they are only commenting on a small portion of what she said
I understood what she was saying and didnt even watch the whole thing. But now imma have to cause of what all of you are saying!
Right that's what I was thinking too. They took that lil bit a ran with it
Yeah I so hate they took what she said out of context. I knew that's where it was headed too...sigh.
CORRECTION: 🗣 The man isn’t the head of the house, the husband is. 💍
True
You betta preach girl. Thats where they are missing the point. The husband!!!!!
You better preach! 👏🏾👏🏾
Kendra Cosey: Now make that make sense!?!🤔 It seems your EGO has blinded you. You could never in your wildest dreams know what it takes to be a man. Some of you don’t know what it takes to be a woman...🤣 There are others ways a man can make a woman his wife. And it has nothing to do with a ring.
I let my man lead, 100%. That doesn’t mean he steps on me, doesn’t mean I don’t have a say.. we have the upmost respect for each other and know what our roles are to each other to make it the most amazing marriage. Their are amazing things I bring to the table, and that he does too! The moment you step over your mans pride and instinct to provide and be a man of the house is the moment where your man feels like he isn’t doing something right in the marriage.
100% this.
Agreed!
That's why Tamara has the longest marriage
Loll very true.
True
💯
They should listen to Tamera on this one and I am no not afraid of a strong woman either
Exactly
I think ppl misunderstand the meaning of ‘submit’. It doesn’t mean to be a slave, it just means vulnerability and both giving each other the chance to be a leader and a follower
Exactly the world and society put such a bad look on that word.
Yeah I’ve been through this
KinkyCurlyDiva16 exactly, which is what relationships are, they’re different hence submit differs too
It DOES mean to be a fucking slave.
But why does the women have to submit?
Women often SAY they "disagree" with statements like "the man is head of the family/house" but most of their actions and dating preferences prove the opposite. Most do want a man to lead. But even in the Bible when it talks about men leading, it also talks about the great RESPONSIBILITY he has and how he will be punished if he leads selfishly. Of course women "let" their men lead; because they TRUST the man they choose and feel that his decisions are taking them (and/or the children) into account. If they attach themselves to a selfish or recklessly stupid guy, things won't work. Be a "leader" doesn't mean getting your way all the time. The wife (and children) must always be factored in and that's going to mean the leader will do things THEY suggest/want/need, too. Good leaders aren't on a power trip...
I don't think I could ever be with someone who thinks about who the "leader" is between us. The only relationships I'm into, friendship or anything, are those that are teams. Challenges come up where, like Ade said, are best met with whoever's better at it! Tamera is right about knowing what you're getting into.
Auntie Loni, tell it how it is. And sometimes people don't understand maybe single women want to focus on working on themselves rather its career, family, education, etc. And sometimes it's just not the right time. There are so many factors why someone would be single. And if that person is happy to be single let them live their lives.
Jubilee Thao AMEN 🙌🏿💯
@@C2G2 yes
I agree with Tamera, I let my boyfriend lead and I'm ok with it.
susana92 same 🤷🏼♀️
susana92 Your boyfriend is a lucky man to have a beautiful and intelligent woman who is okay with allowing herself to be led
It’s in a man’e nature to lead, but be careful with the difference between leading and controlling. I also completely agree with Tam.
Ok please give me examples at least 4 and in different situations.
I don't see a difference between leading and controlling tbh.
I love how you guys give multiple perspectives on different subject matters. It helps people that think one way to view things differently.
Allowing a man lead in a MARRIAGE is beautiful. I’m a headstrong woman and I’m not a pushover by a long shot, so that does not mean as soon as I say I do, I turn into Alice from the Brady Bunch 😂
What it does mean as a single woman who desires a strong partner and partnership is that I understand who I am as a woman of God and any man I choose to come into that relationship with my father has to not only be lead by my Heavenly Father as well but know how to lead me and my family. Like Adrienne and Tam said, traditional gender roles aren’t necessary. What works for us, works for us.
But you better believe regardless of how successful, driven and strong headed I am, I never want to carry extra weight that an amazing man of God was sent to carry and manage for me. I have no problem allowing a man to handle anything I don’t need or have to! IMO...When a man is truly lead by God, you will have no problem letting him lead you!
Tyler Franklin EXACTLY! Couldn’t have said it any better sis!
@@tylerfranklin967 Go head sis. Tell that word.
Amen sister
I would like this twice if I could, it is very well said 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Preach!!! 💕👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Why is anyone leading? A relationship is just two people enjoying each other's company for a period of time. If I want to cook tonight, I will. If he wants to cook tomorrow, okay go ahead. If I want to further my career and it'll benefit the both of us, help me out. If you want to further your career, I'll support you.
What exactly are we leading towards? Leading is for an end goal. We are just trying to love each other day by day. There is no finish line.
Marina Finally someone said it. Thank you!
YOU'RE DUMB
@@WatchYourMouth97 That isn't much of an argument, sweetie.
Loni on that closing statement🙌🏾🙌🏾 Tam’s perspective was GREAT! As usual.
I love how Tamera is black when she wanna be feisty and strong 😂
😂😂😂
She gets it from her black mama 🤣🤣
iLoveYou7491 yuuuup. She picks and chooses.
Amy Zorah when has she EVER said she was a white woman???? Messy ass 🙄
D Robinson exactly 😂
The issue is that message isn’t for everyone.
They take everything too literal on this show.
Some women enjoy traditional roles and want a man to lead.
Tooo literal...they aren't looking at the broad spectrum which is what fantasia meant..by goodness
Exactly. Her advice was for Christian women if you don't believe in God then skip right past this because the advice doesn't apply to you.
@@petrinegordon I believe in God but I don't believe in a god that judges people based off of sexuality. And people always want to pin point small things in the Bible. Trust me y'all don't want to live the biblical way if you have read all of the Bible and what the Bible says.
@@asmrrose6519 as an ex Christian I can vouch for that.
It all depends on what you want. Some men like to lead, and some women like to lead. Some men prefer the woman to lead, some women prefer the man to lead. You can't paint all relationships with one broad stroke.
The only comment on here that I 100% agree with
Thank you Tamera 👏🏻 I applaud the honesty and the fact that you don’t follow what everyone is saying. You have your own opinion 👌🏻
Thank you for saying that at the end Loni. We never hear people telling men what they need to do to get into a relationship, they only feel the need to shame women
I feel like both can lead, all depends really.
SOME MEN CANT LEAD!!! PERIOD POINT BLANK
CHECK OUT MY RUclips CHANNEL GUYS THANKS 🙏
SARA most black men are raised in single mother households, so they learn about leadership from their mothers.. that’s why they suck at it. Lacked good male leadership growing
Those men you speak of can’t lead because they are effeminate. Raised on government assistance by a single mother(so called queen) who was dumb enough to let a degenerate (who was raised in that same manner) impregnate her. SMGDH!!🤣
DARKsmile 09 You take the man out of the home, you break down the family. This is a western problem.
@@dj6308 wow you're really blaming single moms for being single lol
That’s not what Fantasia was saying, I feel like they missed the point😭. They should have played a few more seconds of the clip😩
*Amen! Yes. Find the RIGHT man, and **_let_** him lead you. Good leaders give everyone a voice and a choice.*
I feel like it should just be equal
Mike Carter And who are you to say that?
If a woman wants her man to lead than that’s okay but she shouldn’t be forced in having her man lead
@@taracorcoran8192 I'm a man and a woman will never ever be equal to a man and a woman shouldn't want to be equal to a man
Mike Carter you’re such a troll 😅 you’re only commenting statements and don’t back them up with explanation. Maybe if you did, women might see why they should/shouldn’t allow men to lead 😅
Lilman Thomas That’s the problem though and it’s why I have an issue with SOME feminist ideologies, because women have become so insecure in their positions that we have to compete with men. Equal does not mean identical and I wish people would understand that. We are not meant to do everything a man can do, we’re meant to do everything they CAN’T. There is nothing wrong with a strong independent woman, but there’s also nothing wrong with a strong alpha male. Society has made it to where masculinity is such a bad thing and it’s not. There is a such thing as toxic femininity the same way there is a such thing as toxic masculinity. 🤷🏾♀️
I think both men and women need to take turns leading. One is not better than the other, and I feel like if you give one the power of being a leader, it'll get to their heads and they'll abuse it.
Eddie N absolutely. i’m a strong advocate for splitting the bill on any and every date unless someone really really wants to pay (for who knows why). you pay for your meal, i’ll pay for mine. as for dates, the man should pay half and the woman should pay half.
Eddie N lmao was that supposed to call me out on my hypocrisy?? i’m not a hypocrite.
Eddie N i think times are changing, and women are becoming more open to the idea of paying equally. i feel for men who are with the type of woman who expects their man to pay for everything, however. if you both have an income, you both have to pay. i’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject discussed in the video. i won’t be offended lmao
Eddie N can i ask you, how do you lead? what is the requirements in your role of leadership?
Eddie N that’s perfect. i think i might be misunderstanding what people see as leadership, as some may use it to control their partner. i like a man like you, who initiates things, but let’s me have a say. that’s a good relationship. thanks for opening my mind. i still think both men and women need to be leaders in certain parts of the relationship for it to be fair, but i see where you’re coming from.
Ooo Tam said it best "I LET him lead!" We need to really understand this and the power of it. 👏🏾👏🏾 well said
Men have the God-given role to lead their families. (1 Cor. 11:3) However, they cannot be tyrants. Their headship should reflect the type of headship Christ has over the congregation. It should be measured with love, respect, and knowledge of the woman he has married. (1 Peter 3:7) When a spiritual man leads in imitation of Christ, a spiritual woman will follow his lead.
Although I am Muslim, I approve this message.
“COMPROMISE” is “KEY” if you stick to the basic role you will be lost in the role. 1 team 1 dream.
I believe in the role God assigned each gender in the beginning. The man should be the leader at home. The problem is, society has distorted the meaning of leadership. Just because a man is a leader doesn’t mean he’s to be controlling. Leadership and control are two different terms with two totally different meanings. Learn the difference, people!
Grisel Blanco amen!
THIS!
‼️‼️
You mean rules that MEN created to oppress women. Religion is factually man made.
Amanda Tate exactly these deluded Bible worshipping people in these comments keep quoting roles in the Bible as if it’s fact. That 2,000 year old book was written by MEN and there are SO Many contradictions as well as things that condone things like slavery and even condone the oppression of women
Its give and take! There is no right answer! Im the King of my castle, but my Queen runs the show! I cant even find my socks without my queen 😂
Ladys, if you want traditional aspects in a relationship like a provider that automatically disqualifies you from a leading position. You are absolutley not allowed to have cherry picking for what you want and expect the partner has to do fill both roles for things you don't want to do or expect him/her to do. You fit one role, period!
She also said women are the neck to the head and that I totally agree with
You are a neck alone sweety. Don't involve all women in your business.
Exactly. They Love to pick and choose
Schehrazad A lol a neck is below the head
@@user-nq6um4bs5y head doesn't move without the neck
*1:17** THIS SHOULD BE A NEW MEME REACTION*
I love how they each gave extremely valid points from very different point of views.
I agree with Fantasia whole heartedly. He has to be a MAN we’re used to men being weak nowadays
I, myself am an Alpha women. I was raised to be one by an Alpha women but it doesn't mean I always want to be one. I've spent so much of my life controlling everything and having to take care of everything because that's all I know. I know that if I want things to be done I have to do it myself. It would be nice to have a man that could take some of that control away so it's not just sitting on my shoulders.
That is probably the most honest and sincere comments I have seen in this post! I have never refered to myself as an Alpha male, but I was taught by both of my parents to lead in my house. There are alot of men out here who refuse to stand in the role of head of household and women have to stand up for the sake of the children.
The realest comment on here
Ain’t no damn sense thing as an alpha female. That’s what you call a butch
I love hearing Loni's opinion! She always speaks the truth, she doesn't care if the other girls agree or not! She tells you how it is! We all need a Loni Love in our lives
And she explained exactly what she meant! It was absolutely on point
Some people are just single because they don’t wanna deal with other people’s bs 😂 and they are ok with being single
Yassssss
In my 12 year relationship, we both have switched roles at times. He loves when I step in and take care of things and vice versa. Sometimes 2 people can be strong minded and feisty, there’s nothing wrong with that; you just got to both be on the same page on what works for the 2!
C B Sounds perfect
There’s more that goes into relationships than this idea of leader and non-leader. I think strong contributions from both sides (without the need of a leader) equates to a healthy relationship. You’ll find that leading and controlling all the time is hard and gets tiring over time.
I love yall highlighting great men! you have done an excellent job!
I loved Tamera's response!!! I too have an Alpha man and I love to let him lead. 👏👏🙌
umm she made perfect sense if you watched the entire interview and she followed up with her husbands input on IG stories much more deeper than the crap y’all talking!
She is absolutely right there’s a lot of women out there that I act like the man and wonder why they can’t get a man in their life
Exactly
What constitutes as acting like a man.. being a strong woman doesnt mean you cant get a man, you got a man because you’re his bitch, figuratively speaking
@@8beautylover8 Lol my mom tries to lead by controlling. She claims shes a strong independent women. Shes weak and not independent. She has treated my dad so bad ever since she decided to be a "feminist". Now they are getting divorced. All my dad wanted was a woman that loves him. Society has brain washed my mom so I agree. She had a great husband right in front of her, he tried working things out for years. Now she lost him.
Very true, we don't need to fit all these gender roles but it has become about control for lots of women. It's ok to take on traditional feminine roles. These days femininity is looked down upon but there is nothing wrong with it.
@@8beautylover8 Just because you have a man and let him lead doesn't mean your his bitch at all. Letting someone lead doesn't mean they control you or secured you from the world. Society makes it seem like letting a man lead is terrible but in reality that is what God intended.
2:50-3:30 is key to me. There's a difference between leadership and domination. A man's role is to lead the relationship in love and with wisdom and grace, not aggressively domineer and control. I think of relationships like a slow dance. THE MAN INITIATES and asks the woman to dance. He makes the first steps and the woman follows because she chose to trust him to lead. They dance to the tempo God sets, and, Lord willing, they dance into the covenant of marriage.
JEANNIE IS GLOWING THIS SEASON !!! ✨✨✨
Women literally carry ALL men into this world yet we should be secondary??? Come on now women..give yourself a little bit more credit....
kaheynie I don’t think we should think of it like we’re secondary. Not all men like to or can lead. Same as not all women can lead or would like to do so. A lot of women think emotionally and a lot of men think more logically and vice versa. So I guess that’s why some women like their men leading and some men like it when women lead 🤷🏻♀️
Woman was from the man's wound though sweetheart
Its not secondary to give the leadership to a man.. its teamwork- it takes strength and true love and support to help out excute the ultimate vision as a couple.. we let celebs and media fool us into destroying our homes when we don't fully understand how God intended the family dynamic to function in true love and support... its important to not let experiences ruin our future.
The number one reason many BLK men marry outside their race. They prefer submissive women instead of a
Pit bull
in a skirt. Has nothing to do with her education or intelligence. Who wants to lay with a Young M.A?
Preach sis!!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I’m independent and can take care of myself, but I like man leads and takes care of me 🤷🏻♀️
Yes Tamera!! I have a man who likes to lead at times, but when it comes to making plans for our family, financials, and kids its all on me. So I agree, it all depends on the man and the woman in the relationship.
That is what Fantasia said. She said that the man is the King and you are the Queen. Together you lead the family together.
Loni looks great! Black women look beautiful in yellow 💛
Clearly they didn't listen to the entire interview!🤦🏾♀️
I think Jeanie is delusional af… I think, Tamera was right on IMO. Y'all missed the WHOLE POINT... ladies allow your man to lead & be the provider & protector. It's not about titles or roles... that's about understanding, it's okay to be smart enough to not have to be "strong" but a lady.
lol it’s 2021. there’s no such thing as gender roles. women are indeed strong no quotation marks needed. jeannie is indeed intelligent, delusional is the wrong word used. women are human beings lol we can protect,
provide and lead ourselves. no need to wait on someone else to do it because he’s the opposing gender.
you said it’s not about roles or titles but then say “be a lady” at the end of your statement. haha the irony
I can provide for ma self and I know really good kick boxing so I can also protect ma self. I’m an alpha female and I’m currently dating an alpha male. He’s not dominant nor submissive. I’m not dominant nor submissive. It’s 50/50 in our relationship and it’s a very good relationship built on love and trust.
@@dayjahomara it’s biology. Deny it all you want. There is a reason straight women are attracted to “strong, confident” men. Some roles are literally based in evolution. Men have an urge to provide and protect, period.
Addriane is soooooo smart. Shes gotten wiser and more and more mature every day. Loooove her.
Yah I knew few people to no one would understand Fantasia. Dats why she said its a generational curse.
I will never agree with a man being a "house wife" or house husband, nah, that just doesn't sit right with me. Our load as women is usually going to be much harder with carrying babies, etc. And I can only speak for me and what I allow or won't allow in a relationship. As far as Fantasia, I don't believe she was trying to give all single women advice, definitely feels like in this day and age people always want to find something to be upset about, if something doesn't apply let it fly, Loni that's one of her downfalls twisting peoples words and trying to correct everybody pipe down and humble yourself sis. People like that to me are so sensible until it comes time to correct them, then they are above being wrong and accepting correcting.
There can never be 2 leaders. What successful kingdom was ever built with more than 1 king? In fact most kingdoms fall because someone else wants the power, someone else wants to be king.
Ladies, it's okay to follow a leader. It's just about picking the right leader! Just because a man is head doesn't mean your opinions won't matter. A good king listens to advice, and takes the feelings of others into consideration to create the best outcome for his kingdom. If you pick a good king he will listen to what you have to say and take your feelings into consideration before making a decision that will affect the household. Just Choose Your King Wisely.
*Men*, it's okay to follow a leader. It's just about picking the right leader! Just because a *woman* is head doesn't mean your opinions won't matter. A good *queen* listens to advice, and takes the feelings of others into consideration to create the best outcome for *her* *queendom*. If you pick a good *queen she* will listen to what you have to say and take your feelings into consideration before making a decision that will affect the household. Just choose your *Queen* wisely.
It goes both ways. 👈
R G nah it really don’t though.
R G I mean, yes, men also have to choose their queens wisely; but men shouldn’t be looking for someone to lead them? A man should be looking for support - women can offer valuable guidance, practical help, and comfort for their spouses. Much more than the physical appearance and sex that most men look for today. If a man wanted a leader, then he would just get with another man. Women also shouldn’t want a man who needs a leader, because they will be more easily persuaded since they have none of their own ideas and convictions. Making them more susceptible to advances from other women, tug from “the boys” to go out and engage in reckless, childish behavior, and more likely to make poorer decisions over all. It’ll be like having to take care of a irrational teenager. 👎🏾
@Mia Muhammad Atiny & Nctzen Women leading men is not traditional, it’s not biblical, and it’s poorly functional because it goes against human nature and biological programming. If a woman wants to look for a man that will follow her lead - that’s on her. I can’t stop anyone from adopting an adult child. Maybe what she’s looking for is another dependent to file on her taxes. 🤷🏾♀️ If that makes her happy, she can go for it.
@Mia Muhammad Atiny & Nctzen I think the miscommunication lies in what you’re thinking when you hear leader. This isn’t a master and dog relationship. It’s a pilot and co-pilot relationship. Co-pilots have input, but final says are the pilot. The main lead is the pilot and the co-pilot is support. You can’t have 2 primary pilots.
There should be no leaders in relationships. Only equal treatment and unconditional love period.
I agree with Adrienne here. It's not always one person who gets to be the alpha. There are different aspects in a relationship
Adrienne wants to be Tamara Alpha Male.
@@jackieagard537 huh??
My man is an Alpha male I love it . I don’t have to worry about anything.❤️
I wish I had one of those
I mean I agree with roles! Biblically.
In general, we all have “roles” anyway. You cant get away from it. As long as the 2 people in the relationship feel like everyone is playing their roles right, Who are we to say different? 🤷🏾♀️
Tamara is the kind of women we need leading our women.. what a woman 😍❤️
I’m old fashioned and believe Men should be the leader, I agree with Tamera. But I also somewhat agree with Adrienne in a situation where things may change and like when his strength is your weakness and vice versa.if some roles have to change they have to change
I agree with everyone. It's just different strokes for different folks. We're in a time that everyone has there own opinion and that's ok. Just don't classify everyone in the same group. And that's that!!
A man can only lead me if he has some sense in his head.. cos u ain’t leading me behind bars 😂😂. As Fantasia said ‘the right man’. Pray for a wise man and lead by example so he can be a good leader.
It definitely depends on the relationship. There doesn’t need to be a “leadership” in the household if that’s not what your relationship is about. Everyone is different. Fantasia is her own person and she desires a man that will lead while she follows. Nothing wrong with that. Some of us women just aren’t happy with the “follower” role. 🤷🏼♀️
Dayum Lonnie! She looks like a beautiful gift wrapped in gold. Go Queen!
If you a little bossy or mouthy and a man tells you are too much, maybe he's just not enough.
🙌🏼YES! Totally agree with Adrienne
I knew tamera was gonna come with some real good points and advice !
It sucks I see both sides of the conversation. I just ended my marriage because I felt like I was constantly leading. It’s nice to be led (it makes you feel protected)!
I HEAR YOU GIRL. It is exhausting when you have to be the responsible one making all the doctor appointments, making sure everything is paid on time, and just leading overall. Men are meant to be the leaders.
Queen Butterfly OMG absolutely!!! Like playing mom before becoming one.
@Agatha jay Most men are like overgrown children.
john smith no one ever said I wanted to have full control over him. Stop reading too far into comments not knowing the full story. Good day. 🐸 ☕️
john smith totally understandable.
I agree with Adrienne completely 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Love TamTam’s explanation! “I let him lead, and sometimes he lets me lead”
100% agree with Tasia! If you HAVE to lead, of course, no one is going to die waiting for a man. But if you have a man, let them take the lead! Why are we doing everyones job?! Let the man be a man. We are different, we have different roles, we have different things to contribute. No one is better than the other-we bring OUR best to the table.