Tbh the script sounded very much like either a school essay or a story, where almost every action in the footage was described. I can see when the players do certain moves, so I believe just describing the gameplay as it appears doesn’t contribute too much to the video. For my suggestion, based on the video title, I was hoping to hear why he counter-picked each opponent’s pick. For example, perhaps you could show a few notable exchanges between moves that allowed zackray’s character to have the upper hand that other characters in his roster otherwise would not, then go into detail about how zackray has the upper hand in the exchange through the explanation of say… frame data, hitboxes, etc. By sort of skimming through each match, I’ve only managed to hear you relay what they’re doing in the battle, without much analysis on their decisions, which is why I am making this suggestion.
Nice video, is a good companion piece to the Zackray video on PGStats a few years back. If you would allow me to give you some constructive criticism on your script though: Try to avoid using so many descriptive nouns, stick to two at most. In the video you referred to Zackray as, Zackray, the Japanese Player, the [insert character name here] Player, the Legend and maybe one more. Try to simply call the subjects by their name as well as substitute names with he/him when the subject is implied. When starting a paragraph is ok to say [character] player but avoid it within a sentence as the audience has the context to know that Joker and Zackray are interchangeable. Once again i like the video and will continue to watch regardless.
I don't know if my criticism would be appreciated, but I liked what the video was going for and think this needs to be said if it would be heard. I think this video gets a bit bloated, and you can probably also tell given other commenters have said as much. But I don't think it's just because of the repetitive nouns, I kinda think the whole "explain every game in detail" concept is itself long and repetitive. In my opinion, if you're trying to tell an overarching story about Zackray winning with six different characters, it's not really relevant how he won game 1 of set X or almost made a comeback in game 2 of set Y. I found myself fastforwarding absentmindedly, because the narration was kinda dragging on. Narrating minute gameplay moments is good, but usually reserved for when a really significant moment (an impressive play, a great adaptation, maybe the point of your whole video summarized in one interaction..?). In any case, you could analyze it to provide some interesting commentary, and notably, add your own voice and input to the story. A lot of the time, it felt like you were just telling me what moves were used and when, which is, I mean, I could just watch the set myself, no? To be clear, this wasn't the issue the entire time, and the moments where you did more extrapolated summary of the games were refreshing. Long paragraph aside, you've still made a good video and if my perhaps-too-harsh comment hasn't discouraged you, I'll come back to watch another!
You need to stop using would so much. For example at 5:40 saying the fourth game would start is completely unnecessary. Instead say the fourth game started. You should use ed endings to your verbs more. Instead of saying a player would utilize a character just say he utilized a character. Its fine to use use words to slow down the flow of your speech if you're going to fast but overuse of any word is going to be like nails on a chalkboard. Im not saying this as hate i've watched most of the video. Your writing feels like it lacks focus switching between how you refer to a player alternating between their actual name, character name and pronouns. Your writing also lacks emotional connection. You can't just call a set amazing or awesome you have to convince the listeners it is awesome. Details like how the players playstyles matchup, a player getting backed into a corner on last stock, reckless apporaches and mistakes they make. You can save a lost of space through revising scripts so adding detail shouldn't extend the length to much. Some videos you could take notes on are coney's summary of the bad things happening to good people tournament, and emplemon's hungry box video. Not saying you have to makd your videos exactly like them but just to give examples of how a video connects emotionally with people.
Of course this is all my opinion and I don't have the know how to make a video of my own so just take what you think is the best of what I've said if you're going to implement anything. Hope your videos do well and I liked seeing this.
Good video and good concept, but if I may give some constructive criticism, I think your script would benefit from being trimmed down. There's no need to constantly say ''the american player'' or ''the wolf player'', or other similar periphrases; many times in this video, you could have just said the name of the player one more time or even just say ''he did x'', because the context would let us know who you're referring too. I understand you want to avoid repetitions, but this is too much. It's also not necessary to always specify which stock a player just lost, since you're showing it to us on screen. Once again, I still had a good time watching this, don't take this the wrong way!
I appreciate the criticism. I will try to look for a way to trim down since I believe these videos can be even more brief. But glad you enjoyed the video!
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Zackary is a fucking BANGER to watch each and every time
Yo wsg Jeja! Didn't know you were also a fan of Datavo
always a banger when this guy posts... hes like RisterMice but better
Isn’t RisterMice on a journey to highlight each character’s worst move? Also, I had to lock in! Couldn’t let my people down!!!
How is he better? His verbage is trash
Both are good
I agree with this statement
Tbh the script sounded very much like either a school essay or a story, where almost every action in the footage was described. I can see when the players do certain moves, so I believe just describing the gameplay as it appears doesn’t contribute too much to the video.
For my suggestion, based on the video title, I was hoping to hear why he counter-picked each opponent’s pick. For example, perhaps you could show a few notable exchanges between moves that allowed zackray’s character to have the upper hand that other characters in his roster otherwise would not, then go into detail about how zackray has the upper hand in the exchange through the explanation of say… frame data, hitboxes, etc. By sort of skimming through each match, I’ve only managed to hear you relay what they’re doing in the battle, without much analysis on their decisions, which is why I am making this suggestion.
facts
good video man
Thanks man!
he went marth in pools off stream this tournament
Nice video, is a good companion piece to the Zackray video on PGStats a few years back.
If you would allow me to give you some constructive criticism on your script though:
Try to avoid using so many descriptive nouns, stick to two at most. In the video you referred to Zackray as, Zackray, the Japanese Player, the [insert character name here] Player, the Legend and maybe one more. Try to simply call the subjects by their name as well as substitute names with he/him when the subject is implied.
When starting a paragraph is ok to say [character] player but avoid it within a sentence as the audience has the context to know that Joker and Zackray are interchangeable.
Once again i like the video and will continue to watch regardless.
Appreciate the criticism. I’ll lecture myself to improve this. Glad you enjoyed!
repent to God
I don't know if my criticism would be appreciated, but I liked what the video was going for and think this needs to be said if it would be heard.
I think this video gets a bit bloated, and you can probably also tell given other commenters have said as much. But I don't think it's just because of the repetitive nouns, I kinda think the whole "explain every game in detail" concept is itself long and repetitive. In my opinion, if you're trying to tell an overarching story about Zackray winning with six different characters, it's not really relevant how he won game 1 of set X or almost made a comeback in game 2 of set Y. I found myself fastforwarding absentmindedly, because the narration was kinda dragging on. Narrating minute gameplay moments is good, but usually reserved for when a really significant moment (an impressive play, a great adaptation, maybe the point of your whole video summarized in one interaction..?). In any case, you could analyze it to provide some interesting commentary, and notably, add your own voice and input to the story. A lot of the time, it felt like you were just telling me what moves were used and when, which is, I mean, I could just watch the set myself, no? To be clear, this wasn't the issue the entire time, and the moments where you did more extrapolated summary of the games were refreshing.
Long paragraph aside, you've still made a good video and if my perhaps-too-harsh comment hasn't discouraged you, I'll come back to watch another!
Nr 1 in jp doesnr even play a dlc char???
I never knew rob f tilt could 2 frame
repent to God
You need to stop using would so much. For example at 5:40 saying the fourth game would start is completely unnecessary. Instead say the fourth game started. You should use ed endings to your verbs more. Instead of saying a player would utilize a character just say he utilized a character. Its fine to use use words to slow down the flow of your speech if you're going to fast but overuse of any word is going to be like nails on a chalkboard. Im not saying this as hate i've watched most of the video. Your writing feels like it lacks focus switching between how you refer to a player alternating between their actual name, character name and pronouns. Your writing also lacks emotional connection. You can't just call a set amazing or awesome you have to convince the listeners it is awesome. Details like how the players playstyles matchup, a player getting backed into a corner on last stock, reckless apporaches and mistakes they make. You can save a lost of space through revising scripts so adding detail shouldn't extend the length to much. Some videos you could take notes on are coney's summary of the bad things happening to good people tournament, and emplemon's hungry box video. Not saying you have to makd your videos exactly like them but just to give examples of how a video connects emotionally with people.
Of course this is all my opinion and I don't have the know how to make a video of my own so just take what you think is the best of what I've said if you're going to implement anything. Hope your videos do well and I liked seeing this.
Good video and good concept, but if I may give some constructive criticism, I think your script would benefit from being trimmed down. There's no need to constantly say ''the american player'' or ''the wolf player'', or other similar periphrases; many times in this video, you could have just said the name of the player one more time or even just say ''he did x'', because the context would let us know who you're referring too. I understand you want to avoid repetitions, but this is too much. It's also not necessary to always specify which stock a player just lost, since you're showing it to us on screen.
Once again, I still had a good time watching this, don't take this the wrong way!
I appreciate the criticism. I will try to look for a way to trim down since I believe these videos can be even more brief. But glad you enjoyed the video!
Ee?
The goat on commentary!