I'm a psychotherapist working in the UK. I've had some training to work with paedophiles. If a child can be protected from an assault because a potential abuser is helped to deal with with attraction, then that is a good thing... of course that's a good thing. Thank you for your videos and informing the public around this. Hopefully it will help to prevent a child being abused. Keep doing what you're doing.
Perhaps you can explain what value such people have that offset their predatory desires. Maybe you can also explain how we're supposed to reconcile the current thinking that people can't be expected to repress their sexual desires such as the homosexuality yet believe it's not the case for this or other forms of non-consensual sex. I don't understand the need for the expenditure of intellectual effort to normalize these people. It seems more an effort to avoid the discomfort of administering the harsh punishment they deserve than any real attempt to better society.
@@tonyrmathis Wow, you have a whole lot of mind reading skills. Tell me, have you taken a single human sexuality class in your life or are you shooting from the hip with bad information? 🤔
The difference is that one is between consenting adults and the other is nonconsensual. Giving treatment to those with these sorts of compulsions so they don't act on them saves multiple lives, both those of the person suffering from pedophilia and the children who would have become victims.
@@tonyrmathis, perhaps you can explain the value people experiencing the predatory desire to murder someone, but who consciously and conscientiously resist the desire they may have. Do you think that giving in to that desire because we don't give people tools for dealing with their desires to kill is a good thing? And how does pedophilia relate to attraction to people of the same sex? If someone is attracted to a person of the same sex and both are able and willing to give consent, how does that affect you? I think Dr. Doe's perfectly clear in this video: recognizing that people have attractions that may be harmful if acted upon makes it easier for them to get help to avoid acting upon those attractions. It's kind of like support groups for people who may be suicidal: if they have the opportunity to be in community with others experiencing the same urges, they may well find strength to move on and not act upon the impulse. And that's bad _how?_
You kept me safe. As a CSA survivor, I couldn't be more grateful for the emotional labor you've done that I can't access, to help keep even more people safe.
a bit of a unique perspective here. I suffered for a long time with OCD surrounding fear of being a pedophile. I couldn't be around niblings, I refused to help the single moms of my life chance diapers, I wouldn't be alone in a room with a child. I was terrified of hurting someone. I was not attracted to children but my obsessive compulsive disorder had me questioning it constantly. but the wonderful thing that came from this is that I _learned_ about pedophiles. it sounds crazy to be thankful for that, but I truly do think learning about pedophilia allowed me to be more compassionate towards _everyone._ I thought to myself, well. if these people aren't all child abusers, and if these people, just like me, can't seek help because of fear of legal retribution (I had heard horror stories about ocd sufferers with pedophilia themes being reported to police by their therapists, which made seeking help almost impossible in my mind) then who are we really helping by villianizing pedophilia. do I think it's okay to be attracted to children? no, probably not. but I also understand it's not something that can be helped. moreso, I understand that the answer to helping _children_ is to allow pedophiles access to help and compassion.
The intrusive thoughts are not discussed enough when people bring up OCD. I wonder if that's why I also have the same compassion for feelings you can't help feeling as I also have OCD and used to have really horrible intrusive thoughts. I thought that reflected on me as a human, until it was pointed out that it was just a symptom of my disorder and my actions count more since I'd never do the intrusive thoughts.
hey @SuperHappyNotMerry - me too. i lived in debilitating, traumatizing fear for half my life that almost nobody knows about. even since learning it was OCD and not actual attraction, i don't tell even the very closest people in my life because i know the kind of reaction i am all too likely to receive. i want you to know you're not alone. you have all of my love and good will. i don't want anybody to live in the fear that you or i have had to. minor attracted people included. i recently made friends with one such person, who experienced abuse as a child themself - and their aware compassion and tenacity in the face of such a misunderstanding world has given me such a clearer perspective. i know now that fear and shame are far more likely to lead a person to act out rather than get help, which means more child abuse - not less. it's long past time for us to start making some serious changes in our collective attitude and our public policy so we can begin to put this cycle of harm and retribution to an end. i hope and pray that the conversation @sexplanations has started - one i'm both inexpressibly grateful for and relieved to see - fosters more curiosity and compassion, and that those good human impulses are what succeed in the end. thank you, dr. doe, for your unwavering conviction in the face of so much malicious ignorance and reactivity over the years. you have shown me an awe inspiring courage to give voice to what i never could. for the first time in 20 years, i feel like i might be able to start speaking more openly and honestly about my experience. thank you both, from the bottom of my soul. stay curious, and stay resilient. ❤
Nah you were just being smart. In a society that has been force-fed a steady diet of SVU and Dateline and To Catch a Predator, all men are assumed to be horrible monsters by default. Men's restrooms don't have changing tables. Men who accompany their own children to a park are accused of scoping out victims, and men who carry their own tantruming toddlers out of grocery stores are accused of kidnapping. Feminist alarmism has criminalized fatherhood. You were protecting yourself. Your mind is not ill. Your world is.
The people coming after you only have one solution to social issues and it’s “corrective” violence. There is no therapeutic management, coexistence, or rehabilitation in their worldview. To them, acknowledging deviance is becoming a deviant. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You have helped me and my partner overcome a fundamentalist upbringing around sex and relationships. Thank you.
You sound like one of those judges who release violent criminals over and over again until they end up murdering someone. But hey! I get it. The most important thing is your own comfort not those who might suffer the consequences of your indulgence.
They don't care about any issue in particular, they don't mobilize around issues protecting or helping children, they are fine with children being locked in cages and separated from their families, they are perfectly fine with Trump and the 13-year-old. They just need something to make a mob out of for monetary and political gain.
had no idea this was even happening, but good to see you have such a thoughtful attitude towards it and not be scared into silence. it's a shame how that video providing an actual solution from a nuanced perspective is still able to stir up so much controversy. as usual, those who spread hate under the guise of "protecting children" are the ones enabling more harm to children in the first place, whether they realize it or not.
I loved that video. At first I was viscerally repulsed at the very insinuation that pedophiles aren't monsters, but kept watching. People who are struggling aren't monsters. The fact that there is a resource for people who want help, that could improve their lives and reduce actual harm to others is an incredible thing. What stuck with me was that not all, or even most, pedophiles abuse children, and most child molesters aren't pedophiles. It is unfortunate that, instead of challenging their own perceptions, people want to attack you and those around you. I don't think saying "we need to distinguish between those who do harm from those who are struggling with a sexual orientation. People deserve to be helped," should be such a controversial statement.
Thank you so much for your comment. It's understandable that you were initially repulsed. I was repulsed with myself for years and years. Dr Doe's original video made a huge impact both educating the general public, as well as getting pedophiles who needed help to get in touch with us at virped.
I read My Friend Dahmer in high school, and my takeaway was that there was a point in his life he could have been helped. He knew his drives were wrong. He knew he was troubled. He drowned himself in alcohol and no one cared. The kids that were his friends could not have helped him. As he drifted into alcohol to self medicate, they drifted away from him, which only made the problem worse. Can you imagine a world where such people can get help and never victimize anyone? I can.
i can too. this is why these discussions are important and why we need education. instead of helping people be better people, they'd rather throw every deviant person into the meat grinder. as if we aren't products of our environment and as if people are either "good" or "bad" and there's nothing else to it. it's infuriating knowing that so much harm is preventable but so little is being done to prevent it.
You have no idea how right you are. I personally used her original video to come out to someone, and I've referred other pedophiles online to Virped using her video. Lindsay is invaluable.
I'm literally sobbing right now. That video you made was so important and reached people who needed it without shame. I think about it a lot. I hope I can point to it for someone someday. Dr Doe I'm so sorry. you are a brilliant educator. I'm not someone who needed the virped video but I have OCD and I can't control my thoughts and POCD is something within OCD to understand and sympathize because of that. I don't know why this feels so devastating. This world is so terrifying, it is so terrifying for anyone with a disability. I'm grateful for the work you do, Dr Doe. Thank you so much.
I remember that episode. I remember it making me very uncomfortable when I first saw it, but that as I thought about what you were saying, it actually made a lot of sense, and it _changed my perspective_ on a group of people I had thought of as monsters. Thank you, Doc.
Thank you for this. As we pedophiles come to realize what we are, most of us see ourselves as monsters or potential/eventual monsters due to societal narratives. Learning that we are not doomed to offend is a life-changing revelation, and Virped is on the front lines bringing this message to pedophiles who need to hear it.
same. i had this same experience. and i'm endlessly thankful to Dr. Doe for making sex education accessible and for tackling taboo topics that others sweep under the rug.
As a "Old white guy" with a daughter most of the world would think I would jump on the Hate bandwagon in regards to this subject. But, as a rational man, and someone who tries to practice the ways of Stoicism I always listen to the WHOLE messeage before I make a judgement and form a conclusion. Dr. Doe. You should have nothing to fear, fear is born of ignorance and the unkown, and you are trying to bring knowledge and enlightenment to a subject (Sexuality and sexual health) that is all to often full of misinformation and falshoods. Kudos to you, and my warmest regards also. Take solice that many people try to understand and increase thier knowledge and not live in ignorance. I support you and your mission. Be well and know you have friends. PS. It's amazing how the RUclips algorithm works, your site was a complete by chance as I was looking up the heat cycles of livestock and, well, here we are. LOL. Cheers.
Whatever you decide to do with your account going forward, a sincere thank you for all the knowledge and education and curiosity you have helped foster in me over the years 😊 the information you have provided is so liberating and comforting and I can’t thank you enough for all the education I deserved but wouldn’t get form anyone else
I've been a subscriber and fan since the early, early days. I used your videos as an educational tool for my son, and learned a few things myself. I stayed during your break, and no matter what you choose to do now, I'll stay as long as you choose to keep your accounts here and on Nebula. I'm very sorry for what you've gone through, but know you are loved and supported. Take care of yourself and your loved ones know we'll continue that love and support.
As a very sex positive person, in the kink world, your work is always a comfort in a landscape of people who are often scared. I appreciate this earnest transparency, and I always support your work. It's very scary being put in front of a digital world mob. I hope you keep well. I also love the ocean so much and am not near it, so this was also really nice to watch while listening to you 💕
I couldn't agree more! One of the most valuable things I see in Dr. Doe's videos is the willingness to expose the mutually constructed social realities we live out. We learn early on that there are bits of knowledge that are assumed to be unquestionably true and universally shared. It takes both courage _and_ insight to reveal the taboo knowledge that doesn't become part of our larger society's body of everyday knowledge -- and information about sex, gender and sexualities in the _real_ world is something that cuts deeply against the grain of people's mutually constructed social realities.
It's absolutely insane that people opposed to child abuse would demonize you for trying to keep people suffering from pedophilia from committing child abuse. Keep on fighting the good fight.
Here in Denmark we have started a program where pedophiles can get access to help anonymously. Before this started, they had to involve their family doctor, and it would go on their health record that they had been set to a sexologist. I read an article earlier this week where a pedophile talked about how it made it easier to go help..
I'm friends with some pedophiles in Denmark; your country's approach to pedophilia is so progressive. I wish that we had programs like this in the United States. Having to go through your family doctor and have them log your pedophilia in your medical records would have completely turned me off of seeking help.
@@HowardtheLion424 Most citizens of Denmark still have a very primitive understanding of them. They’re seen as nonhuman. Even hinting sympathy towards their struggle will lead to threats and accusations towards you.
Yeah, I've heard as much. It's very much like that all over the world. It's difficult to exist as an anti-contact pedophile in this world. Most of us choose never to disclose it. It's easier to live in a closet.
I wish that video was still up. The fact that it's so stigmatized to even talk about these problems that they get shut down by mainstream platforms makes it even harder for pedophiles to get help. God forbid people want to be decent and change instead of falling into the same negative cycles.
You have devoted your life to truth, exploration, compassion and respect, educating an entire generation. This other account is obviously not interested in finding the subtlety and nuances of life, and is also afraid to face sometimes difficult truths. Unfortunately some people have just become reflex mechanisms rather than sentient, thinking souls. We are all on your side, please keep the good fight going xxx
Libs of TikTok are a terrible group. It's no wonder they attack great content creators. We love you Lindsey, and we appreciate your channel. Hang in there!
Thank you for being you Dr. Doe, and for all the good that you do. That some people are so blinded by their hate-rage that they can’t see it really sucks.
I remember that episode, and I remember the profound impact it had on me. I had had similar thoughts before - that if pedophiles couldn't help who they were attracted to, shouldn't we try to help them not act on their attractions rather than shame them into silence? - but had never heard anyone else voice that opinion. I've since shared that idea with others, and have been met with disagreement and disgust, so I'm honestly not all that surprised that your video garnered so much negativity. That being said, I still think it is such an important message, and you are so brave for standing by it, and handling this shitstorm so gracefully.
Im a victim of CSA. A few years ago, I decided to volunteer at a similar organisation. This was to help myself understand why people do such things. When talking to these people, I realised that the taboo and stigma, even though valid, stops people from getting help soon enough. I feel strongly that it is more important to be able to have these conversations and get people help, instead of following a first reflex of anger and expelling, so that other children won't have to go through what I went through. I wasn't able to do that volunteer work, very long, but I'm so happy I did. If we want to actually prevent children from going through these things, we need to be able to talk about them. To prevent people from ending up in environments where they are more likely to commit crimes. So thank you for helping in this.
Thank you Dr. Doe for being curious, brave, and a fantastic educator! I am terribly sorry you are facing such hostility by ignorant people. I can understand your journey on Sexplanations can be tough, and that this situation is difficult, and that your well-being and safety is priority; I do hope you continue to be strong and continue to educate, inform, battle misinformation, and enlighten people with your positive energy and not let people suppress facts, truths, or your efforts at doing the right thing!
I was one of the Leafy fans. I'm glad he introduced me to u. U taught me about every precaution to take and how to be safe for whenever my first time does happen. I wish I had the type and style of education u teach when I was young and in school. I've been subbed ever since that masturbation video went viral and I'm so grateful for u.
I remember learning about this topic during a "Good Doctor" episode (season 2, episode 9). Where a man with attraction to children wants to die. It really helped me to learn empathy for a group of people I had never considered needed it. From that point forward, I actively speak out when someone uses it as an insult/joke. I appreciate you Dr. Doe. Also this video was so relaxing. P.S. I've always wanted a vesper! Now might be the time!
Thank you! We can certainly use anyone and everyone willing to speak up on our behalf. So often people aren't willing to see us as anything but synonymous with heinous child abusers.
I had not seen the original paedophilia video so today I did in fact learn the distinction between paedophilia (the paraphilia) and CSA (the crime). It was.. a challenging lesson tbh, but a valuable one and now it seems obvious. Thank you for your work. (I am still processing the "sexual orientation" part, though.) Of course the distinction was lost on LibsOfTiktok, the canonical knee-jerk reactionary. I think, though, that you will still have got through to some of those 6.4 million viewers (only 21k of which left nasty comments). The presentation of this video was enjoyable too, for a horrible subject (online directed abuse). The ocean factoids and metaphors tempered the subject matter.
Sometimes sexual orientations aren't something as a society we promote as a thing people can or should act upon. If someone is sexually attracted to the thought of having sex with farm animals, we shouldn't be upset with that person with what they feel and 'enjoy'. But we all agree as a society that animal abuse is reprehensible. That's why a distinction in a common refrain is made with homosexuality (one that we've all heard) "two consenting adults". As a society we understand that a social contract between two people who have high intelligence (unlike something like an animal) and who has developed into maturity (unlike a child) should be able to act on their paraphilia because it's none of our business. We should all just understand sexual orientation as a word/phrase is a neutral one and not something that always has positive or negative meaning.
LibsOfTiktok aka Chaya Raichik is the queen of bad faith arguments (that's an understatement, she's more of a violent fascist). She's acting the same as the 'woke' mob only found in her fanatasies.
Thank you for being willing to face the challenge of reconsidering your initial ideas. We did not choose this. We are not monsters. We do not want to hurt anyone.
This is an excellent take. We do have a sexual orientation, absolutely. It's stable and immutable, just like any other sexual orientation. That says nothing about how acceptable it is to act on it (it would not be acceptable).
For them, it has NEVER been about protecting children. Just finding new and old ways to hate anyone. And if that means more children get hurt in the process, they are fine with that.
You're awesome Lindsey. I remember that video really made me think, and your commitment to breaking down shame in all your videos is truely powerful. So much admiration for you dancing into the sunset 🧡💙
I'm autistic. Over the past couple of years pedophiles have become my "autistic special interest" (by pure accident of stumbling across information that pedophile is not a synonym for child abuser and that most pedophiles never commit a crime. It made me very sympathetic PROBABLY because due to being autistic I can understand what it's like to be different). I actually was really astonished (and proud) of you to have the bravery to make that video. The world needs MORE education, NOT less! And by making that video, you were trying to add more education and knowledge into the world. That's a good thing. Disclaimer: I am a volunteer for a CSA Prevention organization that supports resources like VirPed because EVERYONE deserves to have good mental health and to be able to live dignified lives without shame. That organization has also been on the receiving end of right-wing groups such as libsoftiktok, because of the organization's support of a group that is similar to VirPed, but includes minors (13 and up) so that pedophiles that are under the age of 18 have a resource that they are able to turn to (because VirPed is 18+)
Lindsey, you are such an amazing person! I hate when people try to "cancel" people who are SO far from deserving that bs treatment. (Another Lindsay, Ellis this time, comes to mind) I'm really grateful that you spread your knowledge, and always in such a welcoming, fun way. Also, this talk over the video of you casually playing in the waves is perfect. You rock!
I appreciate the bravery of individuals, willing to engage in honest discussion of difficult topics publicly, who push back the the noise of the angry mob. Rational discourse about difficult subjects is *critical* for the health of a society. The alternative is to allow the fear of the angry mob silence us, as whatever variant of 'burn the witch' that is popular in the present is shouted, and allow, through our silence, the persecution of individuals by the violence and hate of those who believe the loudness of their voices equate to the rightness of their words.
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry this has happened to you! I have watched your channel for years, and I even recommend your content to my teenager, so they can get accurate information. I hope you continue to put out content that educates and helps more humans. xoxo
The internet can be brutal, but your series is so special and informative. I've had Facebook filter my content, and that was just a simple post. Please keep up the great work .
The way you approach human sexuality is thoughtful, knowledgeable, and considerate. Libs Of TikTok is not any of those things. Libs Of TikTok is hatred pointed at anyone and everyone they disagree with.
Doc Doe, i have been subscribed to this channel for many years and have learned sexual education that i won't have learned in my schooling or through my family. Thank you for your hard work and for continuing teaching others.
I feel so powerless, you being bullied!? you!? the most compasionate, understandable and open mided person on youtube!... I am sure the majority of comments are of people who didn't watch the video, nor the clip. I am very happy to see you respond with honesty and compassion as you always do. I admire you and you thought us soo much, don't let them bring you down, you are a positive force on this earth.
How are you such a hero. This is incredible, your bravery and strength help to heal our world, you are cherished. Thank you, a million times thank you.
I usually try to look at things with a logical mind. I am truly having trouble wrapping my head around how based on that clip in this video could cause such a fire storm. Maybe they are losing their minds over the subject and not looking at the matter. You bring to light information that is important to us as a species, in a reasonable and objective manner, but is often pushed into the shadows. I hope this storm is short lived, and things swing back to positive for you.
As a person struggling with this, the fact that there are places like virped there for me (im not old enough to join virped yet) has saved my life multiple times. Protecting kids means protecting teens who have pedophilia, teens like me. Thank you. ❤
I don't think i have something more meaningful to share than what has already been commented, this community is some fresh air when hate is the norm. I give a thank you, and wanted to say that you are inspiring, the wave that you have created will reach far Dr.Doe ❤.
I'm in the circles you are describing. I was surprised to see your clips show up there, and similarly, was further surprised to see so many of my peers refusing to hear your words and instead hearing what they wanted to hear or what they feared. It was very saddening talking to them about it. Difficult to persuade them to listen.
People's understanding of this issue has gone absolutely off the deep end. Likely due to recent incidents involving very powerful people. But it has gotten to the point that I will see people posting images or videos of couples with a notable size or age discrepancy, followed by shaming, stigma, and even threats. The sheer levels of judgement and moral panic have gotten insane.
It's so remarkably powerful that this is your response to an ambush of hate toward you for something that even educated *me*. As a CSA survivor, I had so much trouble differentiating things. That video helped me understand and eventually lead to some healing. It's absolutely undeserved that you would receive so much hate. Almost heartbreaking. Education makes life better and it feels like Chia Richek has so much sway over people's want to be educated and understanding of what is being taught. The way she fearmongers... it's heartbreaking. To know someone so vicious still has so much say in the political landscape... it sucks. Especially since I'm queer too! She's awful and I'm so sorry you got targeted by her. It's honestly a breath of fresh air to hear you deal with it the way you have. I admire the way you handle adversity like this. It's inspiring. 🧡
As someone with those attractions who hasn't acted on them, I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad you've found some healing through this channel.
The dumbest thing anyone can do is to force potentially dangerous villains into hiding through threats & harassment. The smartest thing you can do is give "them people" room to be honest, easier to keep our eyes on them. The fear game, the aggression, is that exact same uncivil behavior abusers & rapists use. Essentially, those who fear & hate what they don't understand are just as "bad" as the predators, it's predatory behavior. The truly wise people involved with these issues all do their best to befriend "deviants" in order to "help" civilization move forward. Threatening people into hiding & secrecy worsens all the injustice by derailing such attempts at trying to solve the problem with tact & wisdom & fairness. Let's find solutions for everyone involved, children mostly, parents, society, and its dissidents.
YOU ,DR. DOE, are BRAVELY AWESOMELY AMAZINGLY INCREDIBLY COURAGEOUSLY WONDERFULLY INSPIRATIONALLY making the World a Better place for us All❣ Can not Thank you ENOUGH for doing it despite the vitriol & for Being SO AWESOME❣I LOVE YOU 💯 Sending Great Gratitude & Appreciation, Big Blessings & Love, Many Mercies & Joy, All the Compassion & UPLIFTING 🍀🙏✌🏽✊🏽❤ May All be free from Suffering
As a survivor of CSA thank you for both videos. I watched the original at the time but didn't think much further at that point. The other night when I watched it this video, I ended up going to nebula and finding the original to rewatch. Whilst absolutely what happened to me as a child was atrocious and I've got cptsd thanks to it ... that night in my sleep part (by no means all) of me was able to forgive so those videos have helped me on my healing journey ... thank you for all you do Lindsey (and behind the camera team).
The shared excerpt is thoughtful and informed and the Libs of TikTok audience is likely completely immune to all of those things. I’m sorry that happened to you. Be safe.
It's just sad that something that's positive, uplifting, and eye opening garners the opposite reaction in a few people. It triggers those people to act out in a negative manner. It's just where they are in life. Nobody can change that person negativity, except themselves.
Dr. Doe, several years ago you did a video on autism and sexuality. It helped me immensely understand failed relationships and begin a one that has been great. Thank you.
Thank you. Your work, especially on this topic, is crucial. Please continue! Innocent people live with constant fear of being hate-crimed for something not at all under their control, and these people are denied safety and spaces to be accepted and supported. The concentrated efforts in multiple forms of mass media to eliminate those people's voices and have them killed (not an exaggeration, given documented cases) feel like they're growing stronger and stronger, and are independent of political affiliations. About the only "enemies" which far-right, far-left, and everything in between seem to agree upon hating are paedophiles and other peoples who are attracted to youths. When empathy for these people has to be called "radical empathy," the threat is clear to their well-being. Desire is not the same thing as abuse. Chances are that most of you reading this comment know half a dozen people who are sexually or romantically attracted to people half their age or younger. They will just never tell you, because they are terrified. They're still as good and just and virtuous as you believe they are. They just want something that they know they'll never have. And they're still hated for it all the same. I call on everyone to focus your efforts on eliminating abuse by eliminating the opening by which abusers use most often to prey upon vulnerable people (youths especially included): Ignorance. This is not to victim blame, as there are plenty of cases where knowledge wasn't enough to protect someone, but stop and think about how many more cases were enabled because the victim was ignorant. Young people need sex education. REAL sex education, not "god loves you, abstinence will keep you safe" bull. Considering how many vulnerable people are explicitly abused through such power imbalances as those cultivated by religious leaders, the actual threat is very easy to determine. Worse than even them are the profit-driven systems that target the elimination of knowledge to ensure "happy consumers." It's not a random coincidence that corporations like mastercard are targeting sex workers and artists of adult content for discriminatory business practices. This goes deep, and good people need to be made aware of the plight of service providers and creative professionals who are actively providing safe outlets for these marginalized people. I hope you consider doing some more research in to this very complex topic, Doctor Doe. There are some online communities you may wish to explore to see first-hand the impact that such hateful and oppressive systems are having. It's also interesting to note how disproportionate this harm is toward queer, autistic, disabled, and racially stigmatized people within sex work fields. It's all interconnected. Fighting against oppression means fighting for all oppressed peoples. Justifying oppression for one group, class, or orientation opens the door for further justifications against others.
This is the first I've become aware of paraphilia. I get what you're saying here and continue to support your informational efforts without reservation. 💖💖💖
The video that libs of tiktok targeted was one of the most fascinating videos i’d ever seen! I’m sad to see it removed, and even worse, used as fodder to target you! Stay strong, keep educating!
The fact that "Libs of TikTok" cut off the next words of your original video shows they were fundamentally motivated by creating outrage. It's a bad time to communicate using nuance. I sense continued movement towards more binary thinking and rejecting intellect. Your bravery and integrity inspire me, Dr. Doe.
This was a beautiful episode, both the message and the location. Dr. Doe, you are a beautiful human, heart and soul. There are people in this world who can't appreciate that. They are ugly to their core from all the hate they choose to burden themselves with. When confronted with good and love, they recoil, perhaps from a painful memory of what they once could have been, but now have lost. Keep being strong, but stay safe. Know that though the haters are louder, you always have the quiet admiration of good people who love what you do, and who you are.
People actually pay attention to what the psycho running Trash of Tiktok says? I'm glad you're not letting them get you down. They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to shame others into not getting help.
I wish my ex and I would have found you earlier. We could have sat down and explored our sexual curiosities together. Instead, I used fear born from my Christian upbringing and pushed her away. ... I just state that to finally get a truth off my chest. Back to the point. Thanks for educating the public. Where I failed, I hope that many couples succeed and find happiness with each other! I know you are a positive contributor to the couples who are educated by your content!
This American Life also had an episode on a counseling group like what you are talking about. It may even be the same group, not sure. Lib's of Tiktok makes her living stirring up controversy. She does not care about right or wrong only about making a living off outrage. Keeping doing what you are doing. We need compassionate thinking people in this world.
Information is the best weapon against hate and prejudice. I always enjoy the way you teach and help. Keep fighting the good fight. We will stay curious.
The fact is that these freaks who call everyone groomers don't actually care about keeping children safe. They care about the stigma they can inflict on people they don't like by making slanderous insinuations of CSA
21 000 bad comments on 6.4 M views is less than a third of a percent. It's still horrible of them, but I hope a decent bit of the remaining 99.66% got a bit of good knowledge. I hope all of you affected can get past the vocal and hateful minority.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm a psychotherapist working in the UK. I've had some training to work with paedophiles.
If a child can be protected from an assault because a potential abuser is helped to deal with with attraction, then that is a good thing... of course that's a good thing.
Thank you for your videos and informing the public around this. Hopefully it will help to prevent a child being abused.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Perhaps you can explain what value such people have that offset their predatory desires. Maybe you can also explain how we're supposed to reconcile the current thinking that people can't be expected to repress their sexual desires such as the homosexuality yet believe it's not the case for this or other forms of non-consensual sex. I don't understand the need for the expenditure of intellectual effort to normalize these people. It seems more an effort to avoid the discomfort of administering the harsh punishment they deserve than any real attempt to better society.
@@tonyrmathis
Wow, you have a whole lot of mind reading skills. Tell me, have you taken a single human sexuality class in your life or are you shooting from the hip with bad information? 🤔
@@tonyrmathis i will pray for you
The difference is that one is between consenting adults and the other is nonconsensual.
Giving treatment to those with these sorts of compulsions so they don't act on them saves multiple lives, both those of the person suffering from pedophilia and the children who would have become victims.
@@tonyrmathis, perhaps you can explain the value people experiencing the predatory desire to murder someone, but who consciously and conscientiously resist the desire they may have. Do you think that giving in to that desire because we don't give people tools for dealing with their desires to kill is a good thing?
And how does pedophilia relate to attraction to people of the same sex? If someone is attracted to a person of the same sex and both are able and willing to give consent, how does that affect you?
I think Dr. Doe's perfectly clear in this video: recognizing that people have attractions that may be harmful if acted upon makes it easier for them to get help to avoid acting upon those attractions. It's kind of like support groups for people who may be suicidal: if they have the opportunity to be in community with others experiencing the same urges, they may well find strength to move on and not act upon the impulse.
And that's bad _how?_
You kept me safe. As a CSA survivor, I couldn't be more grateful for the emotional labor you've done that I can't access, to help keep even more people safe.
My comments re autodeleted. Lindsey wants pedophiles to rape children. She is evil. You are evil for supporting this.
a bit of a unique perspective here. I suffered for a long time with OCD surrounding fear of being a pedophile. I couldn't be around niblings, I refused to help the single moms of my life chance diapers, I wouldn't be alone in a room with a child. I was terrified of hurting someone. I was not attracted to children but my obsessive compulsive disorder had me questioning it constantly. but the wonderful thing that came from this is that I _learned_ about pedophiles. it sounds crazy to be thankful for that, but I truly do think learning about pedophilia allowed me to be more compassionate towards _everyone._ I thought to myself, well. if these people aren't all child abusers, and if these people, just like me, can't seek help because of fear of legal retribution (I had heard horror stories about ocd sufferers with pedophilia themes being reported to police by their therapists, which made seeking help almost impossible in my mind) then who are we really helping by villianizing pedophilia. do I think it's okay to be attracted to children? no, probably not. but I also understand it's not something that can be helped. moreso, I understand that the answer to helping _children_ is to allow pedophiles access to help and compassion.
I'm in awe of you sharing this. What a wonderful message to read. Thank you so much for staying curious.
The intrusive thoughts are not discussed enough when people bring up OCD.
I wonder if that's why I also have the same compassion for feelings you can't help feeling as I also have OCD and used to have really horrible intrusive thoughts. I thought that reflected on me as a human, until it was pointed out that it was just a symptom of my disorder and my actions count more since I'd never do the intrusive thoughts.
hey @SuperHappyNotMerry - me too. i lived in debilitating, traumatizing fear for half my life that almost nobody knows about. even since learning it was OCD and not actual attraction, i don't tell even the very closest people in my life because i know the kind of reaction i am all too likely to receive. i want you to know you're not alone. you have all of my love and good will.
i don't want anybody to live in the fear that you or i have had to. minor attracted people included. i recently made friends with one such person, who experienced abuse as a child themself - and their aware compassion and tenacity in the face of such a misunderstanding world has given me such a clearer perspective. i know now that fear and shame are far more likely to lead a person to act out rather than get help, which means more child abuse - not less. it's long past time for us to start making some serious changes in our collective attitude and our public policy so we can begin to put this cycle of harm and retribution to an end.
i hope and pray that the conversation @sexplanations has started - one i'm both inexpressibly grateful for and relieved to see - fosters more curiosity and compassion, and that those good human impulses are what succeed in the end. thank you, dr. doe, for your unwavering conviction in the face of so much malicious ignorance and reactivity over the years. you have shown me an awe inspiring courage to give voice to what i never could.
for the first time in 20 years, i feel like i might be able to start speaking more openly and honestly about my experience. thank you both, from the bottom of my soul. stay curious, and stay resilient. ❤
Nah you were just being smart. In a society that has been force-fed a steady diet of SVU and Dateline and To Catch a Predator, all men are assumed to be horrible monsters by default. Men's restrooms don't have changing tables. Men who accompany their own children to a park are accused of scoping out victims, and men who carry their own tantruming toddlers out of grocery stores are accused of kidnapping.
Feminist alarmism has criminalized fatherhood.
You were protecting yourself.
Your mind is not ill.
Your world is.
The people coming after you only have one solution to social issues and it’s “corrective” violence. There is no therapeutic management, coexistence, or rehabilitation in their worldview. To them, acknowledging deviance is becoming a deviant.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You have helped me and my partner overcome a fundamentalist upbringing around sex and relationships. Thank you.
Beautiful words my friend...
100% this
You sound like one of those judges who release violent criminals over and over again until they end up murdering someone. But hey! I get it. The most important thing is your own comfort not those who might suffer the consequences of your indulgence.
Surely "if you eradicate everyone bad, then bad people go away."
They don't care about any issue in particular, they don't mobilize around issues protecting or helping children, they are fine with children being locked in cages and separated from their families, they are perfectly fine with Trump and the 13-year-old. They just need something to make a mob out of for monetary and political gain.
had no idea this was even happening, but good to see you have such a thoughtful attitude towards it and not be scared into silence. it's a shame how that video providing an actual solution from a nuanced perspective is still able to stir up so much controversy. as usual, those who spread hate under the guise of "protecting children" are the ones enabling more harm to children in the first place, whether they realize it or not.
I loved that video. At first I was viscerally repulsed at the very insinuation that pedophiles aren't monsters, but kept watching. People who are struggling aren't monsters. The fact that there is a resource for people who want help, that could improve their lives and reduce actual harm to others is an incredible thing. What stuck with me was that not all, or even most, pedophiles abuse children, and most child molesters aren't pedophiles.
It is unfortunate that, instead of challenging their own perceptions, people want to attack you and those around you. I don't think saying "we need to distinguish between those who do harm from those who are struggling with a sexual orientation. People deserve to be helped," should be such a controversial statement.
Thank you so much for your comment. It's understandable that you were initially repulsed. I was repulsed with myself for years and years.
Dr Doe's original video made a huge impact both educating the general public, as well as getting pedophiles who needed help to get in touch with us at virped.
I read My Friend Dahmer in high school, and my takeaway was that there was a point in his life he could have been helped. He knew his drives were wrong. He knew he was troubled. He drowned himself in alcohol and no one cared. The kids that were his friends could not have helped him. As he drifted into alcohol to self medicate, they drifted away from him, which only made the problem worse. Can you imagine a world where such people can get help and never victimize anyone? I can.
i can too. this is why these discussions are important and why we need education. instead of helping people be better people, they'd rather throw every deviant person into the meat grinder. as if we aren't products of our environment and as if people are either "good" or "bad" and there's nothing else to it. it's infuriating knowing that so much harm is preventable but so little is being done to prevent it.
Please don't ever stop talking about the topics you help so many people with!
You have no idea how right you are. I personally used her original video to come out to someone, and I've referred other pedophiles online to Virped using her video. Lindsay is invaluable.
When I see a Sexplanations vid, I click. Love the channel!
I'm literally sobbing right now. That video you made was so important and reached people who needed it without shame. I think about it a lot. I hope I can point to it for someone someday. Dr Doe I'm so sorry. you are a brilliant educator. I'm not someone who needed the virped video but I have OCD and I can't control my thoughts and POCD is something within OCD to understand and sympathize because of that.
I don't know why this feels so devastating. This world is so terrifying, it is so terrifying for anyone with a disability. I'm grateful for the work you do, Dr Doe. Thank you so much.
It's still on nebula if you ever need to find it.
I remember that episode. I remember it making me very uncomfortable when I first saw it, but that as I thought about what you were saying, it actually made a lot of sense, and it _changed my perspective_ on a group of people I had thought of as monsters.
Thank you, Doc.
Thank you for this. As we pedophiles come to realize what we are, most of us see ourselves as monsters or potential/eventual monsters due to societal narratives. Learning that we are not doomed to offend is a life-changing revelation, and Virped is on the front lines bringing this message to pedophiles who need to hear it.
same. i had this same experience. and i'm endlessly thankful to Dr. Doe for making sex education accessible and for tackling taboo topics that others sweep under the rug.
As a "Old white guy" with a daughter most of the world would think I would jump on the Hate bandwagon in regards to this subject. But, as a rational man, and someone who tries to practice the ways of Stoicism I always listen to the WHOLE messeage before I make a judgement and form a conclusion.
Dr. Doe. You should have nothing to fear, fear is born of ignorance and the unkown, and you are trying to bring knowledge and enlightenment to a subject (Sexuality and sexual health) that is all to often full of misinformation and falshoods. Kudos to you, and my warmest regards also. Take solice that many people try to understand and increase thier knowledge and not live in ignorance. I support you and your mission.
Be well and know you have friends.
PS. It's amazing how the RUclips algorithm works, your site was a complete by chance as I was looking up the heat cycles of livestock and, well, here we are. LOL.
Cheers.
Whatever you decide to do with your account going forward, a sincere thank you for all the knowledge and education and curiosity you have helped foster in me over the years 😊 the information you have provided is so liberating and comforting and I can’t thank you enough for all the education I deserved but wouldn’t get form anyone else
I can't believe people would hate on you, Dr. Doe. You keep fighting this and people like me will continue to support you!
I've been a subscriber and fan since the early, early days. I used your videos as an educational tool for my son, and learned a few things myself.
I stayed during your break, and no matter what you choose to do now, I'll stay as long as you choose to keep your accounts here and on Nebula.
I'm very sorry for what you've gone through, but know you are loved and supported. Take care of yourself and your loved ones know we'll continue that love and support.
As a very sex positive person, in the kink world, your work is always a comfort in a landscape of people who are often scared. I appreciate this earnest transparency, and I always support your work. It's very scary being put in front of a digital world mob. I hope you keep well. I also love the ocean so much and am not near it, so this was also really nice to watch while listening to you 💕
We need more people like you to challenge societal wrongs, you're so brave and an inspiration to me!
I couldn't agree more! One of the most valuable things I see in Dr. Doe's videos is the willingness to expose the mutually constructed social realities we live out. We learn early on that there are bits of knowledge that are assumed to be unquestionably true and universally shared. It takes both courage _and_ insight to reveal the taboo knowledge that doesn't become part of our larger society's body of everyday knowledge -- and information about sex, gender and sexualities in the _real_ world is something that cuts deeply against the grain of people's mutually constructed social realities.
It's absolutely insane that people opposed to child abuse would demonize you for trying to keep people suffering from pedophilia from committing child abuse.
Keep on fighting the good fight.
From everything I know about them, "absolutely insane" is a very accurate description for LibsofTikTok.
There is nothing more inhumane than the lack of empathy...
Here in Denmark we have started a program where pedophiles can get access to help anonymously. Before this started, they had to involve their family doctor, and it would go on their health record that they had been set to a sexologist. I read an article earlier this week where a pedophile talked about how it made it easier to go help..
I'm friends with some pedophiles in Denmark; your country's approach to pedophilia is so progressive. I wish that we had programs like this in the United States. Having to go through your family doctor and have them log your pedophilia in your medical records would have completely turned me off of seeking help.
@@HowardtheLion424 Most citizens of Denmark still have a very primitive understanding of them. They’re seen as nonhuman. Even hinting sympathy towards their struggle will lead to threats and accusations towards you.
Yeah, I've heard as much. It's very much like that all over the world. It's difficult to exist as an anti-contact pedophile in this world. Most of us choose never to disclose it. It's easier to live in a closet.
By demonizing people struggling with pedophilia, they just make it harder for those people to seek help.
Sending love! Your content teaches us to be open and loving, and question our prejudices
Thankyou for your work Lindsay
I wish that video was still up. The fact that it's so stigmatized to even talk about these problems that they get shut down by mainstream platforms makes it even harder for pedophiles to get help. God forbid people want to be decent and change instead of falling into the same negative cycles.
You have devoted your life to truth, exploration, compassion and respect, educating an entire generation. This other account is obviously not interested in finding the subtlety and nuances of life, and is also afraid to face sometimes difficult truths. Unfortunately some people have just become reflex mechanisms rather than sentient, thinking souls. We are all on your side, please keep the good fight going xxx
Libs of TikTok are a terrible group. It's no wonder they attack great content creators. We love you Lindsey, and we appreciate your channel. Hang in there!
That old video was one of the most memorable from your channel for me and it has helped rethink a lot of my views, so thank u for making it
Thanks!
Started on Nebula, shall finish both places, because Love and Support is what we need now, never has it been shame, guilt and hate. Love, and support.
Thank you for being you Dr. Doe, and for all the good that you do. That some people are so blinded by their hate-rage that they can’t see it really sucks.
Thank you, Dr. Doe, for continuing to do your important work. You are greatly appreciated. -Dr. Fitz, Ph.D.
Keep yourself safe. I've learned so much from you, thank you! I hope you continue on educating us.
I remember that episode, and I remember the profound impact it had on me. I had had similar thoughts before - that if pedophiles couldn't help who they were attracted to, shouldn't we try to help them not act on their attractions rather than shame them into silence? - but had never heard anyone else voice that opinion. I've since shared that idea with others, and have been met with disagreement and disgust, so I'm honestly not all that surprised that your video garnered so much negativity. That being said, I still think it is such an important message, and you are so brave for standing by it, and handling this shitstorm so gracefully.
Haters gonna hate, hope you keep on educating
Im a victim of CSA. A few years ago, I decided to volunteer at a similar organisation. This was to help myself understand why people do such things. When talking to these people, I realised that the taboo and stigma, even though valid, stops people from getting help soon enough.
I feel strongly that it is more important to be able to have these conversations and get people help, instead of following a first reflex of anger and expelling, so that other children won't have to go through what I went through.
I wasn't able to do that volunteer work, very long, but I'm so happy I did.
If we want to actually prevent children from going through these things, we need to be able to talk about them. To prevent people from ending up in environments where they are more likely to commit crimes.
So thank you for helping in this.
Love you Doctor Doe. Stay strong and safe and know you are appreciated.
Thank you Dr. Doe for being curious, brave, and a fantastic educator! I am terribly sorry you are facing such hostility by ignorant people.
I can understand your journey on Sexplanations can be tough, and that this situation is difficult, and that your well-being and safety is priority; I do hope you continue to be strong and continue to educate, inform, battle misinformation, and enlighten people with your positive energy and not let people suppress facts, truths, or your efforts at doing the right thing!
I was one of the Leafy fans. I'm glad he introduced me to u. U taught me about every precaution to take and how to be safe for whenever my first time does happen. I wish I had the type and style of education u teach when I was young and in school. I've been subbed ever since that masturbation video went viral and I'm so grateful for u.
Please keep posting Sexplanations!! I have learning so much.
I remember learning about this topic during a "Good Doctor" episode (season 2, episode 9). Where a man with attraction to children wants to die. It really helped me to learn empathy for a group of people I had never considered needed it.
From that point forward, I actively speak out when someone uses it as an insult/joke.
I appreciate you Dr. Doe. Also this video was so relaxing.
P.S. I've always wanted a vesper! Now might be the time!
Thank you! We can certainly use anyone and everyone willing to speak up on our behalf. So often people aren't willing to see us as anything but synonymous with heinous child abusers.
I must admit that the first few minutes of this video concerned me, but you eloquently explained it so it made sense.
There is another name for what LOTT does, it's called stochastic terrorism. Take care of yourself and your family
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m impressed by the grace of your response
I had not seen the original paedophilia video so today I did in fact learn the distinction between paedophilia (the paraphilia) and CSA (the crime). It was.. a challenging lesson tbh, but a valuable one and now it seems obvious. Thank you for your work. (I am still processing the "sexual orientation" part, though.) Of course the distinction was lost on LibsOfTiktok, the canonical knee-jerk reactionary. I think, though, that you will still have got through to some of those 6.4 million viewers (only 21k of which left nasty comments).
The presentation of this video was enjoyable too, for a horrible subject (online directed abuse). The ocean factoids and metaphors tempered the subject matter.
Sometimes sexual orientations aren't something as a society we promote as a thing people can or should act upon.
If someone is sexually attracted to the thought of having sex with farm animals, we shouldn't be upset with that person with what they feel and 'enjoy'. But we all agree as a society that animal abuse is reprehensible. That's why a distinction in a common refrain is made with homosexuality (one that we've all heard) "two consenting adults". As a society we understand that a social contract between two people who have high intelligence (unlike something like an animal) and who has developed into maturity (unlike a child) should be able to act on their paraphilia because it's none of our business. We should all just understand sexual orientation as a word/phrase is a neutral one and not something that always has positive or negative meaning.
LibsOfTiktok aka Chaya Raichik is the queen of bad faith arguments (that's an understatement, she's more of a violent fascist). She's acting the same as the 'woke' mob only found in her fanatasies.
Thank you for being willing to face the challenge of reconsidering your initial ideas. We did not choose this. We are not monsters. We do not want to hurt anyone.
This is an excellent take. We do have a sexual orientation, absolutely. It's stable and immutable, just like any other sexual orientation. That says nothing about how acceptable it is to act on it (it would not be acceptable).
For them, it has NEVER been about protecting children. Just finding new and old ways to hate anyone. And if that means more children get hurt in the process, they are fine with that.
You're awesome Lindsey. I remember that video really made me think, and your commitment to breaking down shame in all your videos is truely powerful. So much admiration for you dancing into the sunset 🧡💙
Standing up to Internet trolls in the best way. Keep educating, Dr Doe. We'll all be here supporting you
You are one of the rare lights of the internet age-honest, intellectually rigorous, and able to change. I am so sorry for your undeserved attacks.
Stay strong and safe, Dr. Doe! The mob is always scared of what it doesn't understand!
I'm autistic. Over the past couple of years pedophiles have become my "autistic special interest" (by pure accident of stumbling across information that pedophile is not a synonym for child abuser and that most pedophiles never commit a crime. It made me very sympathetic PROBABLY because due to being autistic I can understand what it's like to be different). I actually was really astonished (and proud) of you to have the bravery to make that video. The world needs MORE education, NOT less! And by making that video, you were trying to add more education and knowledge into the world. That's a good thing.
Disclaimer: I am a volunteer for a CSA Prevention organization that supports resources like VirPed because EVERYONE deserves to have good mental health and to be able to live dignified lives without shame. That organization has also been on the receiving end of right-wing groups such as libsoftiktok, because of the organization's support of a group that is similar to VirPed, but includes minors (13 and up) so that pedophiles that are under the age of 18 have a resource that they are able to turn to (because VirPed is 18+)
I’ve had Peyronie’s disease since I was 12, and your video on it helped come to terms with it. You don’t deserve any of this.
Lindsey, you are such an amazing person! I hate when people try to "cancel" people who are SO far from deserving that bs treatment. (Another Lindsay, Ellis this time, comes to mind) I'm really grateful that you spread your knowledge, and always in such a welcoming, fun way. Also, this talk over the video of you casually playing in the waves is perfect. You rock!
I’m sorry you got targeted by a famous Karen. I really hope one day she will face consequences for her harassment campaigns.
Danke!
The peaceful and joyful swim was a great backdrop to the video.
Stay happy.
I appreciate the bravery of individuals, willing to engage in honest discussion of difficult topics publicly, who push back the the noise of the angry mob. Rational discourse about difficult subjects is *critical* for the health of a society. The alternative is to allow the fear of the angry mob silence us, as whatever variant of 'burn the witch' that is popular in the present is shouted, and allow, through our silence, the persecution of individuals by the violence and hate of those who believe the loudness of their voices equate to the rightness of their words.
If you're interested in learning more on this topic, MAP Support Club accepts allies, and Virped has quite a bit of educational information available.
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry this has happened to you! I have watched your channel for years, and I even recommend your content to my teenager, so they can get accurate information. I hope you continue to put out content that educates and helps more humans. xoxo
I hope you stay curious as well Dr. Doe! I love your videos and have learned alot from your content! Wishing you the best.
The internet can be brutal, but your series is so special and informative. I've had Facebook filter my content, and that was just a simple post. Please keep up the great work .
The way you approach human sexuality is thoughtful, knowledgeable, and considerate. Libs Of TikTok is not any of those things. Libs Of TikTok is hatred pointed at anyone and everyone they disagree with.
Doc Doe, i have been subscribed to this channel for many years and have learned sexual education that i won't have learned in my schooling or through my family. Thank you for your hard work and for continuing teaching others.
I feel so powerless, you being bullied!? you!? the most compasionate, understandable and open mided person on youtube!... I am sure the majority of comments are of people who didn't watch the video, nor the clip. I am very happy to see you respond with honesty and compassion as you always do. I admire you and you thought us soo much, don't let them bring you down, you are a positive force on this earth.
Very Brave, Doc Doe! Let there be enlightenment
Thanks dude, stay brave and honest. You are honest and discuss honest facts and not dogma or old wives tales. Courage will endure!
Your approach was and is evidence based. You have nothing to feel bad for. Your work is incredibly positive. Lots of love doctor doe.
Too many people only see black & white, thanks for surfing in the grey areas, helping to deepen understanding.
How are you such a hero. This is incredible, your bravery and strength help to heal our world, you are cherished. Thank you, a million times thank you.
I usually try to look at things with a logical mind. I am truly having trouble wrapping my head around how based on that clip in this video could cause such a fire storm. Maybe they are losing their minds over the subject and not looking at the matter. You bring to light information that is important to us as a species, in a reasonable and objective manner, but is often pushed into the shadows. I hope this storm is short lived, and things swing back to positive for you.
As a person struggling with this, the fact that there are places like virped there for me (im not old enough to join virped yet) has saved my life multiple times. Protecting kids means protecting teens who have pedophilia, teens like me. Thank you. ❤
I don't think i have something more meaningful to share than what has already been commented, this community is some fresh air when hate is the norm.
I give a thank you, and wanted to say that you are inspiring, the wave that you have created will reach far Dr.Doe ❤.
I'm in the circles you are describing. I was surprised to see your clips show up there, and similarly, was further surprised to see so many of my peers refusing to hear your words and instead hearing what they wanted to hear or what they feared. It was very saddening talking to them about it. Difficult to persuade them to listen.
People's understanding of this issue has gone absolutely off the deep end. Likely due to recent incidents involving very powerful people.
But it has gotten to the point that I will see people posting images or videos of couples with a notable size or age discrepancy, followed by shaming, stigma, and even threats.
The sheer levels of judgement and moral panic have gotten insane.
It's so remarkably powerful that this is your response to an ambush of hate toward you for something that even educated *me*. As a CSA survivor, I had so much trouble differentiating things. That video helped me understand and eventually lead to some healing. It's absolutely undeserved that you would receive so much hate. Almost heartbreaking. Education makes life better and it feels like Chia Richek has so much sway over people's want to be educated and understanding of what is being taught. The way she fearmongers... it's heartbreaking. To know someone so vicious still has so much say in the political landscape... it sucks. Especially since I'm queer too! She's awful and I'm so sorry you got targeted by her. It's honestly a breath of fresh air to hear you deal with it the way you have. I admire the way you handle adversity like this. It's inspiring. 🧡
As someone with those attractions who hasn't acted on them, I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad you've found some healing through this channel.
yer cute Riley, i have a crush on you lol let's be friends.
You're a beautiful, kind, intelligent person. I love your content. Don't let the bastards drag you down.
The dumbest thing anyone can do is to force potentially dangerous villains into hiding through threats & harassment. The smartest thing you can do is give "them people" room to be honest, easier to keep our eyes on them. The fear game, the aggression, is that exact same uncivil behavior abusers & rapists use. Essentially, those who fear & hate what they don't understand are just as "bad" as the predators, it's predatory behavior. The truly wise people involved with these issues all do their best to befriend "deviants" in order to "help" civilization move forward. Threatening people into hiding & secrecy worsens all the injustice by derailing such attempts at trying to solve the problem with tact & wisdom & fairness. Let's find solutions for everyone involved, children mostly, parents, society, and its dissidents.
Stay safe; stay curious! Aaand, thank yooou! ))
I honor your work. I have been a coach and educator for years but have gone underground. Your courage and thoughtful assertiveness are inspiring!❤
YOU ,DR. DOE, are BRAVELY AWESOMELY AMAZINGLY INCREDIBLY COURAGEOUSLY WONDERFULLY INSPIRATIONALLY making the World a Better place for us All❣
Can not Thank you ENOUGH for doing it despite the vitriol & for Being SO AWESOME❣I LOVE YOU 💯
Sending Great Gratitude & Appreciation, Big Blessings & Love, Many Mercies & Joy, All the Compassion & UPLIFTING 🍀🙏✌🏽✊🏽❤
May All be free from Suffering
As a survivor of CSA thank you for both videos. I watched the original at the time but didn't think much further at that point.
The other night when I watched it this video, I ended up going to nebula and finding the original to rewatch.
Whilst absolutely what happened to me as a child was atrocious and I've got cptsd thanks to it ... that night in my sleep part (by no means all) of me was able to forgive so those videos have helped me on my healing journey ... thank you for all you do Lindsey (and behind the camera team).
The shared excerpt is thoughtful and informed and the Libs of TikTok audience is likely completely immune to all of those things. I’m sorry that happened to you. Be safe.
It's just sad that something that's positive, uplifting, and eye opening garners the opposite reaction in a few people.
It triggers those people to act out in a negative manner. It's just where they are in life. Nobody can change that person negativity, except themselves.
If people were honest about their attractions perhaps we would have a different conversation.
Dr. Doe, several years ago you did a video on autism and sexuality. It helped me immensely understand failed relationships and begin a one that has been great. Thank you.
Thank you.
Your work, especially on this topic, is crucial. Please continue!
Innocent people live with constant fear of being hate-crimed for something not at all under their control, and these people are denied safety and spaces to be accepted and supported. The concentrated efforts in multiple forms of mass media to eliminate those people's voices and have them killed (not an exaggeration, given documented cases) feel like they're growing stronger and stronger, and are independent of political affiliations. About the only "enemies" which far-right, far-left, and everything in between seem to agree upon hating are paedophiles and other peoples who are attracted to youths. When empathy for these people has to be called "radical empathy," the threat is clear to their well-being.
Desire is not the same thing as abuse. Chances are that most of you reading this comment know half a dozen people who are sexually or romantically attracted to people half their age or younger. They will just never tell you, because they are terrified. They're still as good and just and virtuous as you believe they are. They just want something that they know they'll never have. And they're still hated for it all the same.
I call on everyone to focus your efforts on eliminating abuse by eliminating the opening by which abusers use most often to prey upon vulnerable people (youths especially included): Ignorance.
This is not to victim blame, as there are plenty of cases where knowledge wasn't enough to protect someone, but stop and think about how many more cases were enabled because the victim was ignorant. Young people need sex education. REAL sex education, not "god loves you, abstinence will keep you safe" bull. Considering how many vulnerable people are explicitly abused through such power imbalances as those cultivated by religious leaders, the actual threat is very easy to determine.
Worse than even them are the profit-driven systems that target the elimination of knowledge to ensure "happy consumers." It's not a random coincidence that corporations like mastercard are targeting sex workers and artists of adult content for discriminatory business practices. This goes deep, and good people need to be made aware of the plight of service providers and creative professionals who are actively providing safe outlets for these marginalized people.
I hope you consider doing some more research in to this very complex topic, Doctor Doe. There are some online communities you may wish to explore to see first-hand the impact that such hateful and oppressive systems are having. It's also interesting to note how disproportionate this harm is toward queer, autistic, disabled, and racially stigmatized people within sex work fields.
It's all interconnected. Fighting against oppression means fighting for all oppressed peoples. Justifying oppression for one group, class, or orientation opens the door for further justifications against others.
Brilliant response, thank you! Are you a researcher or therapist yourself? If you're interested, MAP Support Club is always accepting allies.
you are a breath of fresh air I have learned so much from you you are a communicator keep up your good work
This is the first I've become aware of paraphilia. I get what you're saying here and continue to support your informational efforts without reservation. 💖💖💖
You are an inspiration and a breath of fresh air! Thank You!
The video that libs of tiktok targeted was one of the most fascinating videos i’d ever seen! I’m sad to see it removed, and even worse, used as fodder to target you!
Stay strong, keep educating!
Great video. Thanks for your work.
The fact that "Libs of TikTok" cut off the next words of your original video shows they were fundamentally motivated by creating outrage. It's a bad time to communicate using nuance. I sense continued movement towards more binary thinking and rejecting intellect. Your bravery and integrity inspire me, Dr. Doe.
This was a beautiful episode, both the message and the location. Dr. Doe, you are a beautiful human, heart and soul. There are people in this world who can't appreciate that. They are ugly to their core from all the hate they choose to burden themselves with. When confronted with good and love, they recoil, perhaps from a painful memory of what they once could have been, but now have lost. Keep being strong, but stay safe. Know that though the haters are louder, you always have the quiet admiration of good people who love what you do, and who you are.
People actually pay attention to what the psycho running Trash of Tiktok says? I'm glad you're not letting them get you down. They should be ashamed of themselves for trying to shame others into not getting help.
I wish my ex and I would have found you earlier. We could have sat down and explored our sexual curiosities together. Instead, I used fear born from my Christian upbringing and pushed her away.
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I just state that to finally get a truth off my chest. Back to the point. Thanks for educating the public. Where I failed, I hope that many couples succeed and find happiness with each other! I know you are a positive contributor to the couples who are educated by your content!
This American Life also had an episode on a counseling group like what you are talking about. It may even be the same group, not sure.
Lib's of Tiktok makes her living stirring up controversy. She does not care about right or wrong only about making a living off outrage.
Keeping doing what you are doing. We need compassionate thinking people in this world.
Information is the best weapon against hate and prejudice. I always enjoy the way you teach and help. Keep fighting the good fight. We will stay curious.
The fact is that these freaks who call everyone groomers don't actually care about keeping children safe. They care about the stigma they can inflict on people they don't like by making slanderous insinuations of CSA
I don't know anyone online online who finds more positivity in the negativity than you. Thank you for the work you do!
Stay strong, stay curious, stay educated. Fear, ignorance (often willful), and hatred are the currency of those attacking you.
You're a very inspirational person. Glad you trusted us with these thoughts in this video form. Best to you from Estonia!
Understanding the nature of things is the first step in effective resolutions
21 000 bad comments on 6.4 M views is less than a third of a percent. It's still horrible of them, but I hope a decent bit of the remaining 99.66% got a bit of good knowledge. I hope all of you affected can get past the vocal and hateful minority.