I should have done this ten years ago...
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Here's me coming out as a trans woman, and looking back on all the signs I missed.
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Transphobes will be reported and blocked. There’s no room for hate on my channel 💜
@@JayReacio I'm not so sure, finding meaning and hope in make up and dresses seems pretty easy and has a proven track record of success. The path to death and despair is the one requiring the denial of your happiness in the name of organised religion. Interestingly these days, no matter what flavour of the rainbow you are, if you have a social media presence then you are absolutely guaranteed to have at least a small following of super fans, watching your every video, commenting and consistently giving feedback, in the name of Jesus. Often their actions mirror those of when a child teases another, not because they don't like the other child but because they do, only they are unable verbalise their feelings, those desires to spend time with them, to connect deeper. Contrary to what you might have been told, maybe by an aging member of your congregation, you know the type, the ones that think certain members of society should still be drinking out of different fountains; Most LGBTQ people are friendly and compassionate and loving people. There's no need to tell us we need saving from ourselves, we're doing ok, but we are a little worried about you. You seem to really, really want to be a part of our lives, which is fine but it's starting to develop into an unhealthy obsession. As with alcoholics and heroin addicts, you need to admit you have a problem before you can move forward and heal. If deep down all you really want in the end is a hug and to be part of this community that is absolutely fine. It's a good thing to accept your true self and let the world see that, reach for that freedom, we won't judge you or kick you out of home and on to the streets like your parents might. Together we are stronger, it's ok to be gay.
I'm a woman in her 30s and just recently realized that I could fall in love with a woman. Despite being a passionate LGBT supporter and open-minded, it took a while to figure it out. It happens for a lot of people that way. You're not alone. Congratulations on finally being able to live your truest life!
Thank you so much for sharing your truth as well! 💜
I am a cis man, but I can understand a lot of what you said. I've never been afraid of other men, but I've always felt more comfortable around women. My friends have almost always been women. I've never been a macho type, and never interested in sports. I can understand why women and transwomen would be afraid of a lot of men. People should be allowed to be who they are regardless of what anyone else wants them to be. I wish you luck in your new discovery and hope things work out well for you.
You’re very kind and understanding, thank you
We love you, Willow! 💜🌈💜🌈💜 You are a wonderful and beautiful and vibrant woman and you have our love and support always 💜💜💜🌈🌈🌈
Thank you, Anton! You’re a wonderful friend and a constant inspiration 💜💜💜
You don't have to be worried about being seen as problematic. You have created on your discord such a wonderful safe place for everyone. Somewhere we can all go without fear of bullying or misunderstanding ,somewhere we can all be absolutely ourselves and expect to be understood. That goes not only for lgbtq but people with mental health problems and neurodivergency . This is a huge gift and so appreciated . No wonder we all love you.❤. I relate to the fear of men and to the anger at transphobes. Yours however is the better way . I will learn from you to put my anger aside and love instead.
Oh Elaine, I don’t even know what to say! You’re incredibly kind. I’m so happy right now 🥹💜
Really powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing. I’m a teacher and have taught multiple students who have transitioned in the latter years of high school (in Australia). What is awesome is that I can see the courage and bravery that it takes for you to be so honest with yourself (and others) and it leaves me in awe of some of these wonderful kids that I have been lucky enough to teach who were brave enough to do it as teenagers.
I wish you continued good luck on your journey
Wow, you are an incredible teacher. Thank you for being you 💜
Just watching this now - 11/8/2023. I'm a 59-year old American woman and am so sad to hear of your struggles growing up and how you've just tried to be yourself for so long. You be YOU! I watch your BookTube channel and love the comments you make and explanations you provide (speaking of which, just finished "Girl with all the Gifts" and loved your review!). I wish this was a kinder world, but alas. Stay sweet and true to yourself. ❤
Thank you so much, Deb. You’re very, very kind 💜
You are a beautiful soul, willow. I hope you find your peace 💜
Definitely finding it :)
As much as youve said about "missing things" you've reminded me that it's never too late to be the person you need to be.
All the best for your continued journey Willow
I'm a (closeted to my family) pansexual cis woman who is married to her cis male husband. Thank you for sharing this with everyone, Willow! You are seen. You are valid. You are loved.
Willow, you are a gem. I am glad for you, including the unconditional love you are receiving from your mum. You have my support, too, from across the miles. Take Care.
I am a native New Yorker where the LGBT community, in my opinion, don't go through what other LGBT go through in other countries..
I am a firm believer in living ones life passionately...im not a feminist but a HUMANIST...what does concern me here in the states is the blatant grooming of children...as young as 12 receiving hormone blockers...the mind nor body has developed and hormone blockers before puberty can create medical issues down the road...I believe that doctors here are seeing this as a hugh money profit without concern for the mental health of these young people...
I‘m a lesbian and I rarely watch any male RUclipsrs - I never saw a man in you.
I‘m so happy for you! Its the most beautiful thing when someone can be who they are.
This is one of the kindest and sweetest comments I’ve ever received, thank you 💜
I'm so happy that you have worked this out for yourself. You deserve happiness and peace and I hope that this is a step closer to that for you!
You’re so sweet, thank you :)
👀 I mean I knew this would be a relatable video going in, but damn. Literally the only significant difference was that for me it was 15 years.
I found your channel literally a couple of weeks after I started HRT a few months back and it really has been a joy and inspiration seeing what's just a few months ahead of me in your videos. I'm so happy for you that you found the strength to come out, and for me too that I did tbh 😁
Congratulations on finding the courage to be you❤ you deserve it so much
Wow thank you!
I love this for you!!!!!!!! Teared up a bit at the end there
Hahahaha! You’re amazing
All my support and love to you. These process involving introspection are complicated but totally worth it. I'm 35 and by exploring my childhood and adolecense in theraphy it turns out I'm aspergers. And I say that I am and not that I have because Is part of my identity. So, even though I'm a cis gender woman, I can understand the process that your going through. Is never too late to understand who you really are. Hugs from Argentina 🤗🤗.
Do what you have to do to become your authentic you. We’ll be here. ❤ Just take your time, there’s no rush.
Outward anger to inward love. Yes! I love watching you, and happy to support you as you are xx (and other trans people too - really it's not hard). Love always.
You are a beautiful person and this was a very moving video ❤️ wishing you only happiness.
Thank you so much 💜
Congrats on coming out Willow!! 🌈 I love your channel! We have exactly the same taste in books, politics and neurodiversity; I love hearing you analyse and discuss literature. There aren’t any other channels like yours and you’ve inspired me to read so many new voices! Thank you!❤
Ahhhhh thank you so much! I always love meeting likeminded Xenomorphs 💜
As a cis white male who is very much trying to adapt to the times and to respect the trans community; I sent this to my friend who is currently identifying as non binary but having thoughts about being a trans woman. This video really helped them come to terms with being trans woman. For this reason alone I respect both you and my friend for, so bravely, coming out, I respect you and the trans communities bravery and courage so much. Thank you so much for giving strength to my friend and the trans community! As a cis, bisexual male, I respect you so much for the bravery and courage this introspection has entailed. Keep up the amazing work and keep loving yourself unconditionally! You make amazing content and you are so empowering! We need more people like this in the world! Who, so openly and ardently, speak truth and promote respect and acceptance in a world where bigotry is idolised unfortunately. Love you!
You’re incredibly kind and supportive, thank you! The trans community needs more great, outspoken allies like you 💜
I'm old and when I hear you I am filled with hope. You are cooler than I can express. ❤
I'm a newer subscriber, but your videos have brought me so much joy and this one is no different. Your personality radiates through your videos and I'm glad you feel that you can be as open as you have been. I feel honoured be able to see elements of the Willow journey of self continue, whilst enjoying the book content and feeling the tiniest bit envious of your hair game! So glad you're feeling happier now you've felt able to embrace your truest self
You are a beautiful woman, Willow, and this was a lovely, moving video! I'm so happy for you! 💜💜💜
🥹🥹🥹
Massive love and solidarity to you! So great to see you so happy and comfortable in who you are, and may your blocking finger be strong.
(Also, Shraya’s book is so good!)
These kind of videos contribute a lot to help people like me develop an and deepen their understanding of the experiences that trans people can make
I appreciate you adding your voice in such a personal way
ive only been following you for a few months but even in the short time ive been here i feel lucky to have gotten to see part of your journey. thank you for always sharing so earnestly and honestly, watching u speak about transness and queerness whether in your book reviews or personal videos like this one is always so wonderful and this video is particularly joyful. i am wishing you all the best always
That really means the world to me, thank you 💜
I love listening to you and hearing about your journey. I'm happy that you've had this realization and that you shared it with us!!
I just had my HRT anniversary and I was fully repressed until my mid 30s. So very many same hats. Sending you so very much love, support, and solidarity. So very happy for us both ❤
Willow, I am relatively new to your book channel as well as your more personal videos. These are fascinating and I love and admire your authenticity. I am so glad you are speaking out so honestly on these issues. It is extremely educational for me as a cis, hetero women. I hope these videos are also reaching those who have gender questions, issues, or anxieties. I am sure your discussions would be meaningful.
Aww, it was so good to see this video and know that you can embrace more and more who you are! You‘re an amazing person! Lots of love and support 💜
Love your brain, your voice, your reading choices, and your hair. I'm always learning from you.
You’re amazing, thank you :)
I'm so happy that you came to this realization about yourself and that you are now able to live as yourself in the world. Your story is powerful and I am thankful that you shared it. I wish it were a lot easier to navigate the world without the constructs we all grew up with. A lot of people get tripped up on them and end up on journeys like yours. Most of all, I'm very glad to hear that you have been able to let go of some of the anger you were feeling and I sincerely hope that you continue to find love and peace in the world. You deserve that.
We had a conversation today at work between the girls in my atelier which reminded me of what you said about fear of men. You read articles, you see things on social media but it really hits hard when it's the people you know who share their experiences. Being female comes with that fear, with that feeling of being inconforteble in your skin. One of the girls said she litteraly comes back home at different hours out of fear that someone will know her routine and follows her. We don't live in the most dangerous city in the world, but still. It's horrible to think of that probably we all have stories to share. Why some guys think it's OK to make us feel this way? What the f*** is wrong with them?
I am so, so sorry that we live in a world where these are the thoughts and actions we take in order to feel safe. I read a statistic recently that 95% of attacks on trans people are specifically agains trans women. Whether you’re cis or trans, women are the targets of senseless aggression and violence and this is why I’m afraid of men
Fear is a very strong motivator for every living creature. Being true to yourself is the only obligation we have.
This was so moving and beautiful Willow 💜. Thank you for your courage and sharing your story. My heart is so warm - sending you lots of love!
I LOVE you, congrats on this period of growth, and sending good vibes 💫💫
I’m a cis woman but trying hard to be a good ally. It’s important to me to understand what others are going through so that I can be supportive and not inadvertently hurtful. Thank you for being open and brave. You are helping more than you know. Also, your hair is glorious.
This is beautiful. I am happy for you that you found yourself.
We are all here on earth to find our own way. We all need to just love one another and support each other's journeys . Congrats on finally living your true path. 💞
At your own time and your own terms. So happy you are you! There is nothing more healing than femme energy. I went from being pansexual and dating masc spectrum people to primarily dating femme trans women and the healing and intimacy is so intensely incredible and beautiful I can't believe it took me so long to find this place. May you always feel embraced and beautiful and loved for who you are, and the more femme energy out in the world, the better!
You’re amazing 😊💜
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on being able to live your true life!! You are so loved and appreciated 💜
Your journey to living authentically is an inspiring reminder that it is never too late to begin a journey for the self - it’s only too late when you’re dead.
I'm a trans woman and i discovered your channel a few minutes ago when i searched for midnight library,
the video was 2 years old and face in your pfp and video looked so different i immediately knew what was going on
Me too! I was searching for reviews about the book "the cat and the city" for my Portuguese talking work
Wow, Willow - your bravery is incredibly inspiring! I hope you find (and keep) happiness! The only thing you should think of if you think about transphobes is: what a sad, ugly little life they must be living... I feel so happy for you, this made me tear up a little bit.
I'd only just found your channel in the last week or so. I've had trouble finding booktubers I who I can relate to and I suppose now I know part of why I haven't had that problem with you. Many of the memories you went over were immensely relatable. I'm not usually the type to comment but I wanted to voice some support and solidarity. Very happy for you and I'm looking forward to following you moving forward.
I used to get so upset, yelling and crying at my mom (at the ripe old age of 4) about Buttercup from power puff girls being a boy. I refused to refer to her as anything other than a boy. Completely misgendering her for years. I had a crush on her and I didn’t know that girls could like girls, so she had to be a boy. We’re all stumbling through life trying to figure out identity without a handbook. Never feel bad for having thought problematic or stereotypical things, it’s about how your deal with those thoughts in the modern day. We love you, we support you.
That’s such a cute and touching story!
thank you willow 🥰 sending you trans joy and positivity!!!!! so proud of you and happy for you
i'm so happy for you!! the fact that you managed to get further in touch with yourself is admirable and it takes tremendous effort and courage. Here's to the rest of a lifetime of happiness and plenitude within your own skin 🥂
I'm so happy for you, Willow. You are beautiful inside and out.💜💜
This video also reassured me that I'm nonbinary, so thank you for that!
That’s so wonderful to hear 💜
We absolutely adore and support you Willow! It makes me so incredibly happy to see you living your truth! You truly are a vision and lovely soul.
Wow, thank you so much!
Willow this is so beautiful and your journey will inspire so many others💕💕. I think we all “should” on ourselves way too much in so many aspects of our lives (me included). Everyone’s journey is unique and the only timeline is uniquely yours-we get where we need to be in our own time. Keep being you as you’re amazing! 😊❤
I'm happy for you ❤ i hope your wait for HRT isnt too long, and that your life as the woman you were always meant to be is filled with the peace and joy you deserve. (Which is all of it, of course)
Just found your channel, love your book recommendations. Proud of you for coming out and embracing your true self, I hope you get to feel plenty of gender euphoria during your transition ♥️ I hope this isn’t problematic (my apologies sincerely if it is, I’m a cis female so I admittedly have plenty of blind spots when it comes to this), but everything about you, your mannerisms, your thought processes, your sensitivity- is all very very female. I know it’s not up to me to say what is female and what is not, after all we come in all shapes and sizes, but I just wanted to say that because I’m so glad you’re giving yourself a chance to be your authentic self, completely, because your womanhood is bursting at the seams as it is seems from my perspective. I’m rooting for you! I hope your transition journey is beautiful, rewarding and fulfilling
This honestly means more to me than I can say, thank you so much 💜
@@WillowTalksBooks you are so welcome! Keep being you :)
I am a cis woman but I totally get what you are explaining. I am so happy that you came out and get to be yourself and happy :)
Omg I'm so proud of you! Welcome to the transfem club Willow!
Girl, same. Like for almost every point and experience. Except it took me until I was 38 until I realized I was even able to transition. Now I've been on hrt for over a year and I feel like my life has just begun. Love your channel, and thank you for all the awesome book recommendations.
This is such an important conversation, and the fact that you are sharing your experience objectively -as much as you can without letting the paranoia of how people might react keep you from telling your truth, all while still being thoughtful- is refreshing.
Like you say, some of it is contradictory, such as not liking the gender binary but wanting to be seen as a woman. Both of those, while being contradictory, are still valid! And I think important to note, because it's a reflection of the contradictory world we live in. A sign that the way we traditionally think of gender is faulty.
I hope that I've interpreted you correctly. Thank you for a powerful video!
This is all very sweet and understanding, thank you!
Wishing you every happiness Willow, you're beautiful inside and out.
You have such a warm, welcoming energy that it's always nice to just hear you talk about books (or whatever else is on your mind), and it's great to know that despite all the rubbish going on in the UK at the moment, you're in a place to be making peace with yourself after so long.
I'm having some interesting (yet scary) thoughts about my own gender identity at the moment, and it's lovely to see where you are in your own journey of acceptance.
Sending love and best wishes!
It often takes time and courage to become your true self. The last flowers in my backyard are frozen, but here are some virtual ones 💐to celebrate the wondrous you.
🥹🥹🥹
💐🌸🌹🌻
Thank you from someone who is a heterosexual female. We need more people like you in this world to spread the love and you will inspire and help so many with your honesty and example. Congratulations on your journey and becoming who you are. I wish you all the best. xo
Thank you so much! I made this for exactly those reasons :)
So happy for you Willow!!! Congratulations !!! This video was very moving, you are such a beautiful soul. Wishing you lots of joy, love and happiness 💜
Really enjoyed hearing your coming out story. I’m sure many people will be able to relate to those same feelings. I think there are many people with internalised transphobia who make it their mission to spread hatred and lies. It takes a lot to accept yourself and embrace love over fear.
I just want to add a comment in regards to hair. I am an old lady and having had my share of battles against sexism and discrimination ( things like being told by a manager that they did not want to give a promotion to me because I was a woman and if I took it I had to work twice as hard as the male peers in that group and I could go on but not to deflect from my point) The hair thing has been equated with being female so much so that it causes ridiculous behaviour: I have had women friends battling cancer who were more concerned about losing their hair then the actual disease and because of that I made the specific decision to keep my hair short as the sterotypical male of my generation because I have been adamant that someone's perception of me does not define me.
I think you are very brave to share your journey of self discovery aside from the fact that your insightful comments give food for thought but also, and maybe it is because I am an avid reader, but I have faith in knowledge and information and feel hatred comes from ignorance and sharing information battles that. I am so thrilled that I found your channel 😍
This took guts. You don't owe it to the world or to us to come out, but I appreciate that you did! Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for sharing, big respect to you from Ukraine 🫶
It's great to hear you talk so much about your passion for human rights. I'm also happy to learn that you are a part of the LGBTQA+ community! We're lucky to have you :D
congratulations, willow 💚 i wish you so well. you are truly my favorite bookish youtuber and your thoughts even in this video are so refreshing and i’m incredibly happy that you can be open about being a woman.
I am so proud of you. Your journey has also inspired mine. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. ✨
I admire your bravery, I admire your books recommendations, and I admire the beautiful human being that you are. Sending lots of love on your way, ALWAYS! ❤
❤❤❤❤ have always been a silent subscriber but just want to say i’m so happy for you! always supporting you and your channel, take care always 🥺❤️🐈
Congratulations!! I’ve been watching and loving your videos for a while now. Half of my TBR are your recommendations. So nice to see you so happy! ❤ you are glowing! ✨
That’s amazing, thank you!
I'm so so happy for you!💖
(& also your hair looks incredible!👀)
you are an inspiration truly. the video screams power at an internal level..and being one with your true self. Lots of Love Willow 🌈🌈 (and yes women's fash is waaaaaay more interesting)
Welcome to our side of the line, sister! So happy for you!
Ps. You've got great hair!
Sooooo happy for you, Willow!! Thank you for sharing this with us! 😊💜
Wow Willow, that was stunningly beautiful, thank you. In my experience gender journeys are awesome and beautiful things. Sure there are challengers but learning and living who you are brings joy and wonder. It was wonderful to hear that being yourself brings love for yourself and others and you can step away from haters, awesome and beautiful. I feel that on these journeys we get to places when we are ready emotionally ready to take the next step, so don’t think you should of done anything 10 years ago you are doing what you need to now and that is most important thing. Take care and enjoy the beautiful wondrous things to come.
So happy for you, sending lots of love 💞
Thank you 💜
Thank you so much for sharing who you are, with so much honesty and heart and passion! it’s a very very powerful message, very very moving. I have been following your channel for a while, it’s inspired my readings a lot, thank you thank you for being who you are, all my support in your path (and please excuse my French- English 😅) you look fabulous !
A few months ago, when I first discovered your channel I was talking to a friend about it and showed her one of your videos, she said “Ahh she looks like a really lovely woman” and I corrected her about you being a non-binary person. She replied as “regardless of their gender I refer every pretty person as woman” so she was right after all 🎉
Haha that’s a very sweet and validating story 😊
I'm so incredibly happy for you and so happy to see you happy!!
I also SCREAMED when you mentioned Laure Jane Grace. She's been my idol/obsession/favorite thing since I was 14 (now 24) and she alone transformed the way I think about gender. Even though I'm cis, i have also cried many times listening to transgender dysphoria blues and ive cried every time ive seen her perform. I have so much to thank her for and I'm so happy she helped you in your journey!
Ahhhh sharing the LJG love!
I transitioned when I was 21, trust me I wish I'd transitioned 10 years sooner just like you I certainly knew, I think every trans person dose.
i'm so happy for you, i really love your channel and the books you talk about and i'm glad you started to live your life fully, you're an awesome woman and I wish you all the best !
Sending all the love to you. I respect and admire you, and I love your channel and your book reviews. I‘ve never been sorry with a Willow recommendation. Thank you for coming out and clarifying your identity so that it is easier for me to know how to address you and refer to you in an accurate and respectful way. You rock, btw. All my heart and support to you. Midterm elections are happening here in the United States on Tuesday and I will be (once again) proclaiming my support for transgender rights (and economic, environmental and social justice) at the ballot box. 🕊️🏳️⚧️🌎📚💕
Congratulations on this huge step toward finding yourself! I love the wisdom in your new mindset, and the peace it's bringing you. I'm in the US, and acceptance and understanding are now part of the curriculum for many states (amid some uproar, of course...), so I'm hoping more children will learn that same self-acceptance and self-love earlier in their lives. We have a long way to go, but I'm heartened by my daughter, whose best friend has a girlfriend and whose friend's brother at the age of 6 has changed his name to Nate, and is perfectly accepted by the peers who saw his name, hair and clothing change overnight. And my daughter has been part of it all without blinking, it feels perfectly natural to her.
You are an amazing person, Willow, and such an inspiration. Sending you love as you progress along this journey toward becoming on the outside who you are on the inside. ❤
So happy for you and glad you've chosen to share your thoughts and experiences with us! As a straight cis man who's also always had a fear of men and masculinity, a lot of what you've said really resonated. Wishing you nothing but the best and hope sharing this brings you, and others watching, comfort and happiness 💜
I’m so glad I found this channel 💜
You're the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend a they could want! So proud of you!
You’re the most kind and supportive person I’ve ever known. I love you :)
Congratulations - what a joy to know yourself so well, and have the confidence to share the news. Long may the emotional growth continue 🎉
Also, one of the things I love about the younger queer generation is they realize that it's passe "to pass"; that being a woman can mean having facial hair or leg hair and still wearing a dress, or wearing butchy plaid shirts and overalls or being whatever the way feels good to someone. If it feels right to wear dresses and stockings and have smooth skin, then great! If it feels right to be all the other versions of being female or femme, those are all great, too.
This video got me to check out Vivek Shraya's "I'm Afraid of Men". And as a cis men, it helped me understand the justified fear women have of men. It was something I initially didn't understand and was uncomfortable with. But I was moved past my discomfort to better understand the experience I never previously considered. I appreciate this video for doing that.
Also congratulations on transitioning. It will always be incredible when people can just be their true selves.
You’re a good man 💜
Love you willow!! Just like your book reviews you lay everything out in a beautiful way! 💛
So, so, so happy for you 🤍 Thank you for sharing. And thank you for always showing how beautiful it is to be a better human. I always learn so much with your videos, and I always want to be better afterwards. Even if the videos are “only” about books.
Hello Willow! I'm so happy for you and feel so honored that you shared this with us. It's never too late or early to be aware of all the things you are. Fwiw I love you and your content no matter what gender you identify as.
I love that you talked about being afraid of men. This is something I've felt too and didn't know how to speak about w/o the fear of offending my male friends. Thankyou for being so honest. I'm a cis woman who may or may not be queer but I've a lot of trans and non binary friends and in my mind you're one of them. I love you and continue to be as in awe of you as I was when I saw your first video.
💞🏳🌈🏳⚧
Very proud to follow you. You are an amazing person. I love this video so much. Your honesty just touched me. I am of the opinion that everytime a person comes out, it is a gift to the world. And YOU are one such amazing gift to us.
Keep living (and loving) your truth.
XOXO
Congrats on realizing who you are and coming into your power!
Just be who you want to be and own it (like you do). Came across your channel from your excellent review and analysis of Murakami. All the best!
Ah, Willow, you're such a joy. I''ll be honest...I've watched a few of your book reviews and always presumed you were a trans woman (my trans daughter hates me saying "trans woman" rather than woman, so I really mean woman), so I'm not surprised at all. You have an amazing sense of style and the best taste in books :)
The first point is scarily relatable. I used to write a ton of poems about human trafficking, domestic violence, and beauty. A lot of them were also from a female perspective and my English teacher (a woman) was astonished at how I could paint the female experience so acutely.