Why You're the Black Sheep of Your Family + How To Overcome It
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- Dedicated to all the Black Sheeps of the family. Hope this helps.
If you can't move away from your toxic family right now, check out this video on how to stay positive in a negative household:
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Black sheep is usually the one that has the most potential and is elevating spiritually, Jesus touched me on this one. Amen.
Thank you Sister. :) You make me feel a little better.
@@ThePalewarrior 💙🙏🏽
Thank you for reminding and encouraging me.
Jesus got us 💕
Exactly 💯..im touched because im a black sheep of "the" family....it easy to stay away from toxic family just remember all fucc up vibes u had with them. face expressions they have along with jealous
The black sheep is the teacher....eventually ....the spiritual one
Beautiful
Xox
Canada
So true!,,,,,,,, we are probably here to teach something so they can grow (wisdom)....we are probably stronger and have older souls.
Oprah Winfrey went through a lot of sh*" and claims she has old soul, the last one. Their are different levels.
@@namehere8099 good point!
I like that
“Don’t try to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you”
The black sheep (that excels) is usually the person God handpicked to use for a special purpose. Always remember that.
Well said though kind of retrospectively . The presenter seems more reflective upon the distress she underwent. I liked the Scapegoat and Black Sheep portion of video. She sounds brilliant but, sadly, her expression lacks balance. Siblings may turn jealous but, parents? Nay. Parents too may but the way the presenter thinks. If a grown-up son, for instance, who despises parents simply because they do not buy him things he wants , or just for reason of denying him the permission to hang out with his la-di-da friends, thinks that he is segregated and treated as a Black Sheep, will he still be right ? This video definitely is good but, frankly speaking, the presenter ought to come up with more balanced view in such a way as can boost wisdom. Knowledge maintains life but wisdom improves it for better and the best.
On the same token, the family has the wherewithal to obstruct God's plan in the black sheep's life... It's commonly done through words, the family speak disaster for them into existence.
Moralistic narcissists as parents will tell the black sheep that the black sheep's light is an evil nature within and no character is better than any.
Absolutely correct! Once I realized that something was wrong with my Mother.....I was shocked by what I witnessed happening. I went within deep.....and I made for absolute sure that I got out as soon as I turned 18. My mother never showed me love. I realized that I was on my own by the time I was 12 yrs old. I became an overachiever to try to please her....it never worked but I damn sho came up because of it. I made 💰💰💰 and got the hell outta there. I am so strong in my will, my spirituality and my desire to help and love others. I just love me some ME!
👍👏🙏💓
@@jadaroundhouse2.043 hidden agendas are equally as bad my friend.
You gain enemies within your own household
AND then you will be the one to feed THEM.
Its okay im not in your household. Im not your enemy lol. Im your friend, as long as you're not toxic 😂
Yes..
@@rashimasimmons7583 very true
Yes sadly..Its insane!
Black sheep/ scapegoat of the family:
-Chosen to change the generational toxic cycle and HEAL lineage.
Thinks differently from the family usually feels adopted and has astrology placements to be successful outside of homeland, meet soul family and twin flames outside of immediate family (if you follow astrology).
-Questions everything.
- Gifted, talented, has extreme empathy, artistic, intuitive, psychic, introverted, genius in some way, unique identity.
Can be over achiever or under achiever never much the middle. Mostly valued and praised when doing things for the family like cooking and cleaning not for who they are as a person so can choose abusive partners too who love transactionally not unconditionally.
- Usually isolated in your room for peace, always blamed for what is wrong in the family or bullied for the family ego as punching bag, never finishes sentences without being interrupted, can stutter when speaking, family always focused on what you did wrong, always criticised by family and bullied at school too.
- Called too angry or too sensitive because you learn to suppress emotions or taking in the dysfunctional emotions of the family with your empathy, can have anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder.
- Called disrespectful or stubborn and difficult, stands up for self/others and beliefs, called rebellious or rebels in many ways as not trusting authority. Loves unconditionally but taken for granted by many including family.
- Called a liar for seeing the dysfunction in the family yet family imitates what they do despite being mocked by them, usually passionate about justice/those in need or just a reasonable person, usually non judgemental, compassionate and kind/pure hearted, highly sensitive and usually loves animals, nature, helping others, alone time or children.
A loner who has major self doubt issues often feels crazy from being invalidated and even questions compliments from genuine people.
- Usually ends up most successful in family if they self heal the inner child and learn to love themselves and realises that they are not here to be what their family wants them to be.
Always remember you can’t change your family and they can’t break you just because they are broken it’s not your mess to clean.
Dr Ramani : “How to think of a narcissistic parent” & “when your narcissistic family tells you this”
Teal Swan- “Cut the invisible strings”
I almost fell off my chair reading this. Wow. Me × 10000.
U literally just described me OMG
That's me to a tea.
Wtf that's me af
💕
You may be the Joseph of your family.
Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and struck in a trap for 10 years, despite his gifts and goodness.
*He returned a king.*
Nice!!!!
Thank you! Perfect message for me today🌞
Halleluyah
Yes!!
I’m really glad I saw this comment.
THE BLACK SHEEP IS ALWAYS THE MOST CREATIVE!!!! BRING IT ON!!!Letsssgoooo
Well that's me 100%
I feel empowered when I read this!!
shana sakai AS you should.... and remember... NEVER GIVE UP!!!!
@@RAZASHARP thank you so much Raza. I was all positive, expressive and happy before then my mother came home from abroad. I thought we would connect but it didn't. I feel trapped, controlled and manipulated. I'm at my all time low and all I need is good words from good people like you.
shana sakai no worries your welcome.. just remember anytime you start doing good in life... families are the first ones that will start acting funny... and that’s only if you’re doing good...I DIDNT SAY GREAT or RICHhhh🖤❤️
The blacksheep of the family is the one who has the b•lls to think for themselves, sees through the bulls•it, and has the b•lls to speak the truth!
Exactly. And because I spoke the truth in my family, my sister banned me from her house.
They hate us because our presence exposes their unresolved insecurities. I wish her well nonetheless.
I always feel freedom when I'm alone but as soon as a family member comes around my happiness just walks away and the yelling commences, I have no where to go but hey at least I graduate in 2 years.
Britt Knee YES girl just look forward to that and keep going strong. Now you know that what you’re going through is not how a normal family looks like. So don’t take that to your future family be better than that.
Britt Knee wow I feel your pain. When that spirit of contention come into the room from them I feel like a confused worthless person. When my family is not around I feel free and energized! Cannot wait to get out of here! Find activities outside that house of evil girl!
SAME!! Im staying at my older sisters apartment bc my narc mom kicked me out for no reason (she was already upset and took it out on me..like always) but whenever my sister is around i feel uh...UNCOMFORTABLE!! And always have!! Shes a flying monkey and i dont feel good or energized whenever shes around like i am when she and my mother isnt...its Only those two!!!!
I feel this deeply. Probably one of my biggest anxiety trigger is hearing anyone come home after being home alone.. even now ( I'm moved out and in a very welcoming and loving environment now)
How has it been going? Have you changed your situation?
My family always sarcastically say” you think you know everything do you “
I felt this.
my mom lol
@@sam_enginex wow! That’s mean 😢
Lawd gawd I got told that bs too...
Parents were spying on me so I told them to stuff it and then stopped them spying on me
They're cowards so I put them in their place
@@sam_enginex to your first comment... that's fucked up
"It's not uncommon for the black sheep to be dependent on their family." 100%
Ima black sheep and I definitely don’t depend on my family.. I depend on God 🙏🏼
FACTS!!@@santanabandanna5729
I like being the Black sheep. I embraces it. Everyone's jealous of me.
FACTS
Pete A., Right
i hate it. my siblings are constantly being rude to me about how i look and how i act.
So true I am the prettiest and they act rude to me
@@teenyweeny3005 me too they always have to point out how tall I am and say stuff like "you're so weird you don't look like us maybe they switched you at birth or something" all that just because I'm tall and they always bully me and make me do all the house work and while they get to go out with there friends I always have to stay home scrolling through instagram wishing I could look better or have a better life.🙏
I cut my family off 3 years ago after they kicked me out and left me homeless because I refused to put up with their favoritism, double standards and hypocrisy in the house. Everything you said resonated with me. The most screwed up part is that they still expect me to give a shit about them after they kicked me out and left me in the streets. Yeah, I will take this to the grave. My dad was an alcoholic and mom remarried another jag bag like him and I was not having his shit. I'm so much happier without them.
Michaelnolan1988 💯💯💯
Sweetheart, i know the 'I will take this to the grave' feeling. But i hope it becomes just a detail in your life, a foot note. Rear view mirror her and them all. Go on and be the best you can cos you sound tough! And tough is what it takes to make it. Be happy! She will hate that! LOL
I can relate
Going through it right now in the dead of winter. My family has left me homeless as well. It's been three weeks now and have already attracted two narcissist. I'm a magnet for them. The good news is they both kinda came and went fastly so maybe am able to recognize them faster now. It's a scary journey still hoping to attract positive loving people. It's so easy to stick with what feels familiar than go out on a new branch. A vicious cycle if you will. If you go homeless or anything else in your life expect to have more wicky wacky show up. Take it day by day for a while.
I feel for you. Went through same thing fininally snapped and punched my dad in face chased me out the house shooting called police to have me hunted down then had whole family sign long standing protection orders against me left me homeless some people just need rot in hell and will never change watching stuff like this to heal my mind start over at the bottom
I remember thinking as a 6 year old.. "My family is so rude. Don't they know what manners are?"
Same thoughts I have in my 20s
Me too : I thought these people are so toxic. This isn't how a family is supposed to be. A family shud be loving, not judgemental, kind and never shouting at each other but communicating politely.
Same thoughts I had since I was 10 years old😂
I remember once being in the car with my family and I said something along the lines of "Why is our family so dysfunctional" to be instantly screamed at by mom. I was like 10 or 11💀
i feel so different from all of my sibling and my parents.
Same
Same
Me too! I try to fit in with them cuz I abandonment issues but I can’t do it anymore. I just want to heal and have peace & joy. Sending you love & light! 💕❤️
weenus peenus sane
Same, I get told I have the worst attitude, I'm a B, I am so self-centered, I'm always negative, when really I'm the only one who gets so many opportunities. I get to go to Disney bc my Chorus program paid for me too (the only one out of 236 kids). I got a interview at the Bored of Education for a Scholarship at age 13. No joke. I have soo many GOOD friends! I am the only child my teachers take to restaurants to share presents and hang out with. I am so blessed with the love of God! So idc how many times I get called a failure, unworthy, all those things up there, I know I'm worth it😊💖
what hurts even worse is when you see your mother doing for others, that she never did for you. like my mom wants to go into psychology, but she caused trauma on her own kids. its also crazy how she see other peoples problems as so bad but don't realize that she does the same.
STG that’s the worst
She knows how her actions affect others, if she wouldn't she wouldn't be so nice to others and so horrible to her own kids. Chances your mom is a narc like mine. Cut her off from your life, you'll feel better ✌🏼
It is not uncommon that narcissists train to become psychologists, because that would give them power over people and teach them cunning ways to abuse people, which somehow makes them feel good about themselves. An important thing to remember when choosing a therapist. 😉
True..
my mom wanted $300 a month for me to sleep on her couch, but she has let her brother sleep in her spare room for FREE for 5 years. I've always been at the bottom of the pile in my Family.
I am a black sheep. And I never understood why my family didn't like me. I always knew I was "different" but I never understood why someone who supposed to be your family would try to tear you down just for being you. Especially being a child. I always felt like I didn't belong or there was something wrong with me. But I'm learning to love and accept myself now and that it's ok to cut off toxic energy.
I see why you are the black sheep. Smart, attractive, and a glowing vibe. Keep it up sis 😁
Amen and amen 🕊️
Ikr? She's gorgeous and intelligent!🙌❤
Agree. She is helping so many people right now. She is outstandingly awesome.
I literally cut contact with my abusive family today. I got tired of being blamed for everything and being abused. Can't wait to get better and achieve my true potential
Mr Cosplayer definitely needed to see this !!!!!
I hope you’re doing well and succeeding! Happy Holidays
Good for you! Stay strong your not the only one I just did the same thing recently its a hard long journey keep your head up !
Ooo I am aching for that day to come!
Mr Cosplayer You got this ✊🏾❤️
It’s absolutely disgusting, the fact they turn others/ family against you because they feel some type of way about you. I found that healing prevents you from becoming a narcissist yourself, so please heal❤ break those generational curses and live freely. You can’t heal in a toxic environment, leaving is the first step.
I was the black sheep in my family. I got blamed for EVERYTHING. I am now 54 and I have finally moved hundreds of miles away from my 2 older sisters who are both bitter, twisted and full of evil. I am done with them.
Sorry Katie! I can relate at 43 with you. I didn't realize until last night when my mom said something so horrible to me that I can get over a lifetimeof her abuse. However, this issue out of her mouth made me DONE. I can do this alone.
56 and cant give them anymore chances...a family of child abusers, violent men including an attempted murderer but I am the bad one...time for me to go now and heal and use my creativity for the good of all and for myself x x
lorraine smith
I don’t blame you! I’m about to move away as well! I wish I could move to Alaska ‘ but it’s to cold there 🥶lol’ but very soon! I’ll move thousands of miles away from my mother’ brothers’ even my own daughters! It’s sad but god allowed me to be my own person by being me and finally standing up for myself
Many blessings to you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
lorraine smith my situation is same as yours, it took me 52 years to realise that it’s not how your sisters are supposed to treat you. I don’t need to put up with it just because they are my family. I used to come away from them feeling like a piece of garbage.
I did the same thing my sister they are so evil After me and my husband we bought a house all my family turned against me that’s how I know I’m the black sheep in the family I stay far far away from them l pray Night and day that the Almighty God will expose them to the world for the evilness
So what I'm hearing is the blacksheep of the family is actually the healthiest member...lol. Thanks for taking the time to create this video! 🤩🤩
Eeexactly!!! :)
SurfsUpMama lol yes
You make a very good point. The blacksheep usually wants peace and love. It's the others who want strife and turmoil.
...and unfortunately the one who ends up in therapy because of their messed up family. Cruel irony.
"you are black sheep if you are spiritual, creative, empath" hits hard, i always have felt different from my silbings and parents since i was 14, and always have been misunderstood. I feel truly happy and a lot of freedom when im home alone but when they come around, the energy is gone.
thank you for reading, have lovely day!! XO
Any update on your situation? How's it going now ?
I was told I was stuck up and conceited because I wanted to comb my hair and shower before going outside 🙄
fahren299 leave. And don’t look back
Well it ain't true. Now when you look in the mirror every day, say, "I see a beautiful child of God." Truth! Sending love your way...
Omg, I've never been directly told that, but I just always sense that when I dress up nice and shower and look good, my mom's jealousy is steaming in a pot
goddess jah same here
Wtf
Im the black sheep of my family.I don't need their support,I'll achieved my dreams on my own.
I hope that you'll be successful. You got this
yep me too
I feel like this all the time
Me too!
It's so weird to feel like you were resented since the day you were born. To feel like people older than you are competing to keep up with you. They mistreat you for the same things they brag to other people about what you can do. When I was a kid I was running away constantly and when I got in trouble for trying to escape it was reinforced how irresponsible I was and how I will always need them. I def suffered from the infantilizing, even as a 24-year-old. It's just surreal to realize the extent of the abuse that they will say never happened. I'm still waking up to who I am and what I am capable of.
2 years later, any update? Hows life been ? Did you get away from the toxic people ?
I feel like I’ve graduated from Kindergarten to Elementary school. I’m mentally where people with supportive parents would be at by that point, but parenting myself. I’m financing my own hobbies, and learning how to make friends n date without my parents involvement (which has been a total fail and I was in a psych ward for 9 days w/ PTSD after I almost got SEX TRAFFICKED but I’m still trying to get it right) and right now I’m learning from these trials and pursing my master in MFT and working on publishing my books. Life is good. I’m setting boundaries more confidently now that I’m out of the hospital n working again! ❤
I needed to hear this. I've always felt ignored, unloved and the blame of certain situations. No one would ever speak up for me, no one would ask if I'm ok. For years I've watched my family care for others the way i want to be cared for. Those who did care for me have died including my father.
Wow. My situation is exactly the same as your's. I've been no contact for 4 years now with my "anti-family". I had good, loving paternal grandparents but they died years ago and my dad, who was an enabler to my narc mother, died in 2015. He did love me when I was a little girl but my evil narc mother turned him against me later on.
brahmabkitty03 My life story
brahmabkitty03 :( you literally wrote word for word my life. I’m sorry you went through it too
Me too. Sometimes they would be ok if we were one on one or admit what another did wrong but any time it was 2 or more of them together, they treated me like shit!!! All my life I felt like I was in a sorority that didn't want me including my mom. I have 4 sisters and 2 half sisters
Same
When you start investing into yourself and heal first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, and this is when you know that you are winning. Cheers !
Rafal Jakubek TRUTH 🤦🏿♂️
Good to know that that IS a sign that we are winning... Thank you!!!
A black sheep myself, I turned my back on my toxic family 7 years ago and I am so much happier and healthier for it. Thank you for this informative video, you know your shit girl, keep preachin' :)
Something Great will happen for you and yours this weekend.
How to turn my back to my family when they have my daughter. I feel the Way they treat me is so bad I hate them.
Great news, sister! Here's to my seven! 🍸
💯👏🏽👏🏽❤️
Same here 15 peaceful years ago
You explained my life! My family treats me like I'm incompetent. When I finally tried to speak up, they all said I was mean.
Yep.they always want to call you mean when you don't put with their bullshit
Yeah that's what ive been told all my life. Im mean and I dont care about anyone else. Yet I pray for my family every night that God protects them and I bet no1 prays for me.
@@wildyunga1911 aww 🤗🤗
Same! Same! I’m done. I’ve got a kind heart, I’m very genuine and strong and blunt and loyal. My family isn’t in my corner
@@wildyunga1911 same maybe i shouldnt pray for such evik ppl from now onwards 😭😭😭
I like when you said "they're already broken before you were born!" That stuck with me. Great take awak
Take away 😁
Agree.
Ugh🥺 Girl I literally have no friend’s and the reason why I hang on to my family is so that I won’t be completely forgotten. I need to go to therapy😢
Thumbs up and down
Look for a support group of people who would listen to u a and ur situation and that care and love u.
Honestly same but im cutting my fam off
Same. Although right now, I’d rather be completely alone than face anymore of this shit.
@@darkkitty22 I’m so sorry!😔 I know I’m saving more money up to move out hopefully by this year!!!!!
I was getting ready to commit suicide and started my goodbyes and put on the do not disturb feature on my phone and I came across this video. And this made me feel and know im not crazy. Especially the narcissistic videos too. Im gonna try to stick it out. And I wanna write a book but was afraid to because it would make it worse with my mother and sister but now im positive i wanna do it. Thank you. You saved my life tonight!!!
So glad you didn't do it!!! I know what it feels like to want to end your life. It's better to cut them off and go live your truth and be happy. No one is EVER worth us taking our life 👌😉
The fact you turned to you tube to see if you could find a sane voice to help you in your distress shows you really wanted to live and not end your life. I believe God's Holy Spirit led you to this amazing message, you should embrace your life God gave you embrace all your creative gifts n talents He blessed you with. Be yourself not some one else's twisted version.
Sis how are you love?This vid brought me comfort
❤️❤️
write that book girl! I know what you've been through and I've been there!
God made me and chose me and that's all I need.
💕💕💕💖💖💖💟💟💟💯
AMEN, GOD!! HALLELUYAH
What puzzles me is how I became the black sheep of my family I’m all about positivity and good vibes and I try to be respectful to everyone I meet
Maybe your positivity is what makes you different from your family and that's what bothers them? I know my family is very negative and I'm far too positive for their taste. That's one of the reasons I think I'm the black sheep/scapegoat. Maybe you too?
That’s probably why you were targeted sick as it sounds
Exactly that's why!
I used to be so curious and exited about things, growing up I started to feel like it was a crime.
@@MsThe90 Being a black sheep is very much about imprisonment, containment and confinement. Enable yourself freedom, switch from emotionally responsive to analytical to empower yourself. knowledge is power!!!!
Hmm like the movie Falling down Michael Douglas 😮
I needed to watch this because what I’m going through is crazy . I was sexually abused by my own father and everyone makes it seem like it’s my fault , everyone wants to make it seem that he’s a “ good “ man but I see through him and everyone else. Everyone is so fake towards each other , I don’t even go to no family reunions anymore lol I stay by myself sadly
I FEEL LIKE TONY MONTANA stay strong. Don’t let what they did to you effect your life
Your mother knows? Just curious. Take care of yourself and I wish all the best for you.
I feel you, I wanna stab my whole family in the chest and then leave
Gosh I feel so bad for you but I know that you are immensely strong and you are still fighting today even tho such things happend to you. It happened to me too but in my case it was the man who my mother dates (yes she's a single parent) and she blamed me for not talking to him at all anymore. This things makes me crazy I sometimes can't believe that this is the kind of the world I'm living in.
Fuck family
"Your potential reminds them of their shortcomings." Absolutely. Well said. Thank you for this video.
Agree.
This part hit me hard bz it’s exactly what’s happening to me
Black sheep here, Can all the black sheeps come together please! 💖
I cut ties from my family for my sanity's sake. I moved as far away as possible
Holy crap. I'm artistic, I am an empath, and I am on a spiritual journey, always have been. I've never heard this before and you nailed it. Wow.
Same deal.empath of family,always been spiritual and deep.. they are envious of us because we have souls ..I was told by being around us makes them feel guilty because we are truthful and like kids honest and they can't be this way
Me too
I was the black sheep empath in a narcissistic religious family telling me I'm a wicked boy & I'm possessed & I will end up in prison, it started when I learned to speak & spoke the truth, I was fed bread & jam every day & then called a thief for taking food, the religious abuse caused me to leave home at 15, throughout my career I have been scapegoated & bullied at work, again for telling the truth about people's performance, all my exes were narcissists telling me there's something wrong with me while they were gaslighting, ghosting, benching, triangulating, blame-shifting me, it took me 50 years to have my eyes opened & learn the truth about narcissistic abuse in the family & how we can be better off without them, I have 4 families & they all have varying degrees of narcissism, finally I have boundaries & I know the red flags & I can protect myself
My life it's exactly like urs😮
I Don't care about moving away.I Can be 1 door down the street and ignore the heck outa my family. I told them i don't fcks with their low vibrational energies and that they are cut out of my life.
Good for you!!!!!
So I recently just moved out of my home. Always known I was the black sheep and I just had enough and moved out, it’s sad because I’m actually family oriented and I’m the one who is the most creative and wants to become an entrepreneur and they do not understand that and make fun of the concept of entrepreneurship.... it’s sad because I love my family so much and wish I could live with them still but I can’t keep myself around that environment ...
Excellent choice, mental health well being. You are on your way. I wish all the best for you.
They are not worth keeping around Maryam. It is best to cut off negative people and fake family members. God loves you, he understands what is going on.
Hope you're doing well, wise decision ... can relate
yes I was made fun of for wanting to be an entrepreneur. I was called delusional for wanting to set a goal to be a millionaire. I was stopped but I persisted. They are scared you will succeed. Ultimately, if you stay with them you will be left bitter and unhappy.
I did the same thing two months ago because no one understood me and it is hard cause you wish your own blood could just be proud of your potential but sadly i couldn't take it so i moved out too.
Isolation saved me from going insane...Sad at times...But, the isolation kept me...All the searching, and nurturing..All ended up the same way as my family..i just stop..walking alone on earth. Is a curse and a blessing
It’s hard being the black sheep and still caring about your parents and family. It’s so hard not to want acceptance from them especially because I see my friends interactions with their family.
Exactly 💔
Yes
Same here!
You have family here🧡
I think the only solution is to stop caring. Caring about abusers is a recipe for being abused. They placed you in a role, that will never change, so no matter what you do, they will always treat you that way.
I consciously decided not to care about my mother and one of my sisters a few years ago, and that gave me room to heal. That room can not exist if your abusers occupy any bit part of it.
Thank you! It's been 7 months since I decided to cut off my family and I have never felt so free. At first I felt so guilty but now I have no regret I made the best decision for me 😊
So happy for you! Wishing you nothing but love and happiness from here forward
Thank you so much for this video. I was not expecting to cry but so much of what you said really hit home for me. It literally took me til the age of 39 to realize that my family is dysfunctional. I mean I knew something wasn't right but WOW!!! This is all still very painful because I am seeing that majority of the relationships I have been in (including romantic) have been toxic.
yes I am 3 years post leaving my family. while they live on the east coast...I live on the west... at first it was scary but I actually had nothing to lose. I have healed alot...still have work to do though.
I'm PROUD of ALL of you!!! I can't wait to get to that point myself one day. Hopefully sooner than later!!
I feel guilty. haven't told my teenage children, thats what makes it difficult but I really need a break from the smothering of bad vibes, negativity, sarcasm, condescending remarks and never a celebration of life.
Spot on 👌🏾! I am the black sheep, and empath, an artist/painter. The pain of not feeling like you have a place in your family cuts deep. I’ve just accepted the fact that I HAVE to limit my time around them. It does more harm than good. There are so many other points you mentioned that are true for me as well. Thank you for this video. I truly felt understood.
My family is just so loud and I was always a quiet person and shy and they always say something's wrong with me
Same for me
Same..and then when they ask you something you can't even relate to and your like umm I don't really do that listen to that feelthat..then your mad corny😣 I'm just listening to a video like this because I'm wondering why I'm such an outcast..now I see..
same:(
EXACTLYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Same
"Your potential reminds them of their shortcomings" that's deep😧
The family see the potential of the black sheep becoming happy and because they are not happy they get jealous and try to ruin it 4 them.
You just saved my life, literally. God bless you a million times.
Indeed!!
When you said we are more likely be an artist. My mouth dropped.
very true my mother is very evil every time i have something good happen in my life she starts an argument to drain my energy to take away from my blessings
Same here girl definitely. I dont understand why mothers and( fathers too, depending on who he is) are like that towards their daughters. 🤷🏽♀And don't realize that girl Is gonna be the one to help extended the family tree even she gets marries. she will continue the mother and father side of family and her own with her future husband( that's how family tree keeps growing). Smh I feel you on that one🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thank you so much! I've always felt alone, unheard, and treated like I didn't matter. Now, I know I'm not crazy and what I felt was valid.
Mimi Smith 🌹
SAME HERE GLAD I'M AWAY FROM EM FUCK EM MY LOSER FAMILY.
Same and idk what to do about it
Krystin Grant i feel u sis they even tell each other to exclude me from anything even if it's eating with them on the same damn table
you matter sis I wish you the best of luck!
or they're gonna say "we want the best for you" and then turn around and beat you down
Yep they love to gaslight and manipulate you.
Right “You won’t get anywhere in life” gtfoh
Yes they mean they want the best for themselves. Your failures are their success 👍
Thats my experience.
my parents: go to college.
also my parents: oh, now you think you're better than us just because you went to school?
My whole family always wants me to live according to their standard and it makes me so uncomfortable! I'll buy my own house and live far away from them! I can't live in a family always find something to judge and criticize me😑😑
Life is too short to live your life in accordance to their expectations. You deserve to be loved unconditionally
Gotta learn to walk away and never look back...thats what I did....best move i ever made.....I dont miss the bastards ever.....life is good
lol the savagery 😂😂
working towards getting to where you're currently at 😎
😁
Am in tears watching this because this how my family see me
Me too sis. Good to know that we aren't alone. Hugs
Mary McTier Don't Cry cause Your the Lucky one!😊
Me 2💔
I feel like an alien that was implanted into my mother’s womb. I’ve never been close to anyone in my family. My parents and siblings bullied me, picked on me, belittled me, and abused me. I don’t know my extended family. It feels weird to be alive 18 years without connection.
You need therapy gurl. Go go love yourself start now
@@shakurwonders5216 I think the fact that I’m brave enough to be vulnerable and speak my truth, shows that I do in fact love myself.
Thanks for the definitely useful feedback tho! 😘
@@bri3449 that's what I like to hear. Thanks for being vulnerable. Happy healing and welcome ❤👊🏿
I felt the same way with my siblings. I used to think I was adopted because of how different I was from them and that hated me for it.
@@angieang26 I’m sorry. It’s a really shitty thing to experience when the people who are supposed to be closest to you betray and traumatize you like that.
Smartest move I ever made was cutting my family off. I remember being 7 years old, (I'm 63 now), standing just off a dinner table surrounded by "family." They were all back biting and sneering about things in general. I said to myself, "I don't want to be like these people." I escaped the stress of it by reading voraciously, which equated to positive contrast. I remember my dad looking at me and my books suspiciously through time. I also remember him and my mother destroying my confidence at ever turn by belittling my meager successes. We know why...
You should be a writer. I read this 4 times like it was a book. I was waiting on the next page, but it ended at, “we know why...” 😂 Please start writing books.
Oh my goodness, The dreaded dinner table. Nightly watched my mother berate my father. I was the baby of the family, and I would just look around the table and think is no one going to say anything? My golden child older sister sat at the place where Mom should have sat. Mom acted like hired help. What a mess. What a mess my marriage was. Married a man just like my mother and he made the second son the golden child. 60 years old, away from them all, and finally peace.
the scars run deep and the family unit will sabotage you at every opportunity, you may not realise how much till you walk away. im spiritualist empath
I left my family many years ago to go on a spiritual journey for myself, I don’t regret it. I’m much older now, and I find myself revisiting talks like yours to deal with family issues. I will say this to the people who are just beginning- you WILL NEVER truly UNDERSTAND why your family truly does the things they do, the only person you need to focus on is you, make sure you are spiritually aligned so you can understand how to react to them for your protection. If you have to be around them, practice observance and silence and being polite AND knowing when to walk away and when you do...do it with grace. Leave a better impact on them than they left on you. Know that you are in a better space now that they could never comprehend unless they choose to change...and know too that you can’t have anything to do with them changing, because you don’t know if they will truly change. Focus on you and you ONLY!
Thank you so much for this comment. I needed this right now!
excellent advise. specially with all this new age awareness, trust me, i went into the rabbit hole of all kinds of therapies, modalities, programs.. family systems etc until i snapped out of it and although a lot was key to my understanding and healing process a lot was also confusing, retraumatizing and reinforcing the wound by keeping me stuck from moving on. One day I got to to mee the greatest of my therapist and he said.. you feel that you haven't done enough? or what is it you keep looking for? we did somatic work and what came up is i was still in the fff mode and therapy became my comfort zone of victimhood. I was scared to really live.
He was shocked how many years I've been in 'healing' mode and that nobody had told me you heal by creating new experiences not by dwelling in what damaged you.
He said you go out and fix this in the present day by day, not in the past anymore and I dont wanna see you back for another session 😂
thats when my spiritual connection started :) to breath, emotion, nature, myself, kind people and the creator ❤
This is why I hate the holidays.
Facts bruh
Truth 190%
Yep
Facts my dude
Me too!
You are speaking directly to me, it's a lonely place to be but we strong and resilient though. 🙌🙌
Sometimes was treated better by strangers n God gave me a beautiful church family 🕊️
That's right.
I have been listening to this repeatedly for a while, whenever I was being picked by my family. I live with my family still, and I’m an Asian. There’s no such “black sheep” concept in Asian culture. In Asian culture you have to love your family, no matter how they treated you. There’s no way I can find such content on the internet using Chinese, or just a few information talking about “family problems”. Black sheep is a new concept to me, and I was relieved when I first heard about it since I know I’m not the only one and it’s not my problem. I tried to kill myself when I was 8, trying to drink the poison in the bathroom, but I stopped at last, a voice in my head told me not to. My family never physically abused me, but I was being picked on almost everyday, and I had to cry in the bathroom secretly everyday. I’m 31 years old now, I think it will be extremely hard to get rid of my family, but I’m planning to get married soon and have my own apartment so I can get rid of them.
Wishing you all the best, hope you are doing well now. 💓
hope you are living the life you deserve by now ❤ free, in harmony and acknowledging your worth
Your right. I’ve been treated like trash 🗑... however ‘ I cut all of them off and I’m focusing on my own healing! All my family members are BLOCKED and I’m about to change my number...also! Praying to move thousands of miles away for the sake of keeping my own sanity 🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️🙇🏿♀️
Don't let them suck you back in,good luck!!!
Oh la la.😂
I'm right behind you
Wishing you peace, love and success.
Amen
My dad family has turned me into the black sheep of the family out of jealousy smh ...
I think my mother and Father and Brothers is jealous of me Because I'm Different they always make jokes about me ordering some from like Burger king that i order a lot of food and i saw they missed up my life
Same except it's my mother's family
@@livsaturn4894 my mother family is even worse towards each other, so i understands you
@@Shmoney_gunns420 my mother's family are evil towards each other too.
@@livsaturn4894 Smh ...
I’m not trying to overcome it…I’m embracing it🕊❣️
Everyone hates me in my family... I just want them to love me the way I love them...
Same here 😕
I spent 40 years trying, give it up please before you end up like me with so much damage you are fixing, and must be alone alot to heal.
Keep your head up baby girl
Sierra I am with you. I realized I can't fix them. But I can fix myself and I am healing through no contact.
Same here
Outcast here ✋lol... I can totally identify with you. My family including my mom seems like they hate/ envy me so much. No matter what I've accomplished they try to tear me down, but I'm the one they call when they fall short. However, when it's my turn I have nobody but God and my kids. I've been on my spiritual journey since 2006, moved to another state away from my family. God is good!
Same Here Girl I cut They Asses Off for Good Fuck'em
Godisgeomi
Amen
I did that & my offsprings turned out just like them once they became adults. My children are not my children.
God is good. Amen
I’m 41 years old and still experiencing this. Just visited family last night and I left with terrible anxiety and overthinking. Analyzing myself and judging myself. It really is unfortunate. I could tell that they talk about me when I’m not around. I cried continuously and am still trying to bounce back and get back to me. I don’t go around them often. I’m currently in college and doing well for myself. I didn’t hear not one positive comment from them and when I did it was not genuine.
"You just weren't the daughter I thought I would have" in response to "why didn't you love me?" I know now that the answer is not because it was my fault.
BecauseIJustDid
That's how I feel alot of the time. I often imagine what life would be for them if I wasn't even born.
Since my brain doesn't really respond well to things, I feel almost like a bother.
Proud of you for asking that difficult question... because deep down you knew the answer might not be positive or loving... but you needed to know the Truth. Thank you for sharing this. :)
@@kaylaschroeder1 I always asking my mom these kind of questions when I first started to realize what's going on, and she never answer me the way it's supposed to be. ..
Sorry for my bad English :"
Obayifa Batiste You’re right. Because people usually hate in others what they hate in themselves.
You are worthy of being loved. Accept and embrace all of the love you receive from other people. You deserve it.
I'm the black sheep from my family, I'm a total outcast. I am working on a company, I'm creative and talented. Planning on moving soon
I was definitely programmed to depend on family, then they suddenly flipped the script when I turned 18 and expected me to know how to be a full adult. It was either go to school or get a job. I didn't get the proper guidance that I needed and had to learn damn near everything the hard way. I don't fit with Mom or Dad side of the family. One side was completely dysfunctional and the other only associate with the uppity. I washed my hands of everyone and have to give myself the love I've been severely deprived of in life.
Sad to say but my mother stopped me from attending acting and modelling at barbazon of Hollywood because she saw that the people their were fascinated by my talent. She said I was disrespectful that's why she pulled me out but I knew she was secretly envious of all the things to come. I could see it in her eyes. I forgive them but I don't need them in my life.
Yes dear forgive and move on.
@@mariajmc6557 hopefully you’ve got something bigger and better by now and if not it’s on the way with your name on it .
This happen to me with cheerleading, modeling, extra curricular activities in school , all of my dreams and talents anything that i loved i was stopped from not at 31 years old I’m fighting to get my vision going
@@VictoriaTheVisionary it’s sucks having parents that are envious and jealous of you when they should be the one encouraging you
Yes I’m glad i found this channel and other similar people . I have a certification in life coaching which i decided to niche in the category of mindset .. I’m doing my inner work bc the trauma from that past ish is trying to stop me from speaking my truth and building my tribe
i’m definitely the black sheep because my parents litterally only care about my brother if my brother does something wrong they blame it on me 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Same with me. My mom and step dad worships my sister. They give her everything but I couldn't get anything. She's two faced too
For me it’s my sister... she’s the golden child...
drug addict ✅
drug dealer ✅
narsisist✅
criminal ✅
abuser ✅
But she got money via husbands family and their business... she’s done great to keep business going... but other than that she’s pretty evil.
Same here. Fuck em!
Who need enemies when your own blood is the enemy? They sound so evil. SMH
And if u get angry they will come to the little prince's defence and act like you're the bad guy lmfao fml
"You should remember that they had problems way before you were born"
That reminds me of my toxic elder sister; the fact that she always made sure to make me feel responsible for all the problems and arguments that ever happened in my family.
Yep, me too..Once i cut my toxic sister off, My family said im so horrible and that im the bad one, even when i wanted to cut it off, for everyones peace...You can never please family
This is making me rage because of how accurate it is
Use that rage for good. Come against the toxicity of your family if they don’t wanna listen walk away and don’t look back.
i swear to GOD. makes me so angry
Well you just proved her point and you're probably one of her hating family members 😂😂😂🤣
Yup! I moved 1000 miles away and it was the best decision I have ever made! Out of sight......out of mind!
Bad Boss Lady Libra stay strong I want to move away from my family also working on saving my funds to meet my goals!
SuiteH3art_Xbox We got this ✊🏾❤️
Yes, gifts and peace on your journey, I did the same thing two months ago.
I am the black sheep of my family. I am heartbroken. What you said is very touching and moving.
Yup, no one applauses me for my achievements, I wish they cared just a little.
Move forward without them sweetheart...I'm going through the same thing, and Im finally at my breakthrough. I know it can be hard to walk away from people you expect to be there. But they will hold you back if you dont build up enough courage to move on.
I understand, I fee you on this!!
Factooooo
I go thru that with my family , I’m a very supportive and enthusiastic person and they never reciprocate that energy .
Me being into anime while being a member of a black family. I just moved 4 states away and I have never felt so freeeeeeeeeee!!!
chelthi kueto I love anime too! No one understands lol
I can't wait to do the sameeeee
Girl I'm trying to do The Same my family do me so Bad and mistreat me and tell people all I do is tell lies but of course they are going to say that because they know that it is true so they have to cover the Truth up with Lies that's the thing people don't like to hear the Truth because the Truth Hurts
Pls tell me how you moved do you have an ig?
dont go back-ever
I'm the black sheep of my family and I have always been the odd one. I feel so odd and different that when I was younger I thought that I was adopted
Im the black sheep to a scapegoat and i never truely understood why everything i ever did was not good enough. it feels almost like a competition for love, support and affection. Thanks for this video 💛💜💚
Mrs Akins Sorry you had to go through that. I know exactly what you mean by constantly wondering if you're not good enough. I still get that feeling. Almost didn't post this video because of it. It gets better with time and constantly working to encourage yourself. Good luck to you and thanks for watching💓
Im so glad I came up on this video
Can't wait for the day I finally cut off the parasites
Best of luck to you 💕
JUST DO IT 4 YOUR OWN WELL BEING !! I did IT AT 55 !! FUCK all that shit !! THEY ARE WEAK !!
The sooner you walk away the better be well and be strong sister.
Gerard, you are going to do incredible things and meet amazing people who will love and admire you.
@@NuMindframe u so right sister 👍
At 66 and in a funeral for my 14 yr old nephew my old aunt, 83, told me…”it must be hard to be the black sheep of the family”.
Glad, I am, the funeral shun a light on huge dysfunction!
New concept for me, English is not my native language. But, I understand what she was telling me!
I’m going through this now! I’m always the one attacked about everything! It’s draining
It sucks being around these type of people. They are never satisfied or happy. Its like they don't have no real empathy for anyone. And when you're caring its hard to be around that.
They are only happy (gleeful is a better word) when YOU are suffering or in pain. My narc mother would act over joyed at funerals or when letting me know someone in the family had died.
Reese Daniel Wow this is so my mother she is fascinated with death and people misfortune. Toxic to the fullest extent.
They're robots and you're real. 🏆
like vampires
I was the only soldier in my graduating company, not just platoon, out of my entire company I was the only one who's family didn't bother to come to watch graduate basic combat training. That was the first time I started to realize that I was the black sheep. My family is full of alcoholic narcissists. Thank you for this video.
❤❤
I get "shunned" by my family and "gaslighted". You are so right on! You're also very beautiful and speak so well. Just loved your video!
Me too it's like certain people can do everything else except for kill the devil, or set the world on fire ,but let me just do something stupid once or twice or just I don't know relatively be human🤔🤔 and they're ready boot me off the face of the Earth 😂😂😂
Nu Woman yes.... I’ve never understood why everyone always got on my head or every and any little thing I did
God bless this woman! She is amazing!
Thank God for her!
First off, you're stunning. Those cheekbones and the overall structure of your face, is totally gorgeous.
This video hit So Many points for me. I have always been the black sheep, and a lot of harm was done to me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and even physically.
So many people in my family would literally have gab sessions where they gossiped about me over the phone, in person, and overhearing it all, that really did a number on my self esteem.
It hurt the most, in particular, when my mom, grandmother, and aunt would talk bad about me. It just completely shattered my self confidence, and a lot of the self hatred issues still linger within me, because of that, in addition to other things.
I am ultra sensitive, artsy, and yes, very spiritual. So many things you said clicked with me!! I am still working with God to completely forgive them, but have my moments when I feel deep sadness about how it all went.
Thank you so much for making this video as it made me feel less alone, and reassured me I am not overreacting, nor crazy, nor imagining all that went down in my life. God bless you!
I'm sorry you are going that and but I feel you because I took to go through that as well with my family and with others outside of my family. but I hope everything gets better for you💖🕊
I'm right there with ya girl💯
SHE IS SOOOO BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT.....I will be amongst such beautiful women soon as I have powered up, she certainly is powerful!
One of the biggest mistakes "the special ones" make is seeking the approval of "anyone" who shuns them...
I agree
It’s crazy I am the black sheep of my family I was just told that if I don’t prove myself to them or basically kiss their ass then I will never be apart apart of the family I’m completely done ✅ new subscriber here love the video
Girl you do not need them fuck them and keep moving but always put God first you will be straight trust me
Hope you're better
My family tries to make me feel small and dependent. This is the reason why I have so many problems relating I can't stop seeing this in people in general...
QUEEN YOU GOT ME IN TEARS LOOKING AT THIS VIDEO REALLY TOUCH MY SOUL EVERYTHING YOU SPOKE I CAN RELATE TO IM FREE NOW GODDESS I BEEN CUT MY FAMILY OFF WE ARE CHOSEN FOR A REASON MY SOUL TO YOUR SOUL PEACE LOVE AND LIGHT SO HAPPY TO BE ME THANKS SIS💗
ORIGINAL KING ORIGINAL GOD she is truly amazing. She opened my eyes 2 years ago. I am relearning everyday.
Thought I was only one in tears. Get more love from strangers
ORIGINAL KING ORIGINAL GOD never call a feemale a goddess. 95% of the world's mental anguish is due to feemales' love being conditional plus they present a false image of themselves to entrap men in wedlock. Feemale spirit is satanic not human/Godly so renounce the feemale spirit and see them as the inherenty insecure inadequately cored useless sub species that they are
ORIGINAL KING ORIGINAL GOD STAY STRONG BROTHER!!!! WE WIL ALL BE FREE VERY SOON! GOD BLESS!!
that’s so sweet 🥺 lol God bless you *all* ❤️
I left and I am at peace now. I was made fun of talked about, my children were talked about it was terrible. I dont ever want to go back.
I'm definitely the black sheep of the family. I packed up and moved to a state where none of my so called family lives once they started going for my kids.
It's one thing to tear me down; but over my cold dead body will I allow that sh*t to continue with my kids. No contact has been amazing. It's been 6 years of sanity.