Ted Cruz Asked If He’d Fellate a Man, a Message for Don’t Say Gay Politicians & Have You Had An Orgy
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- Опубликовано: 12 апр 2022
- President Biden got hit with an unidentified falling substance during a speech, the FBI has raided Rudy Giuliani’s cave over the past few weeks, Ted Cruz is on the road to do a live episode of his podcast at Yale and was asked a wonderful question by a young man who gives us real hope, a basketball fan glued herself to the floor at the Clippers/Timberwolves game, a new edition of “This Week in Florida,” one of our writers Louis Virtel breaks down the “Don’t Say Gay” laws popping up around the country, and since STDs are on the rise we thought it would be fun to go out on the street and ask people a simple but potentially revealing question - Have you had an orgy?
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Приколы
Ted Cruz was faced with a real conundrum in that question. On a sexual level, he finds the idea very appealing, but ending world hunger goes completely against Cruz's moral worldview. I think he's gonna need more time on this one.
Hilarious
🤣
Now that is a funny comment.
You win the internet for the day.
I didn't catch what he said.
I wonder how Marjorie’s police complaint against Jimmy Kimmel is going 🤔
Probably laughed at and dismissed would be my guess.
Two officers were hospitalized for asphyxia, others are in danger. humans were not meant to laugh that hard for a full week.
@@benlutz1974 Nice
@@lillyanderson3623 I hope so
Mike Oxbig probably laughed at by the cops since she's a pathetic joke of a legislator!!!!
Louis was on point and fabulous... We need more of him.
Listen to his podcast, Keep It!
Dude he was hilarious 😹😹😹
He cohosts a great podcast where this flavor is in full effect, fits called Keep It
@@emilyhartmann1794 I guess i need that in My life.
@@hambonejones Totally need it.
NEW RULE: You can't write anti-LGBTQ bills, unless your browser history is made public.
New rule we counter all BS laws/bills with an exact opposite 😆 Here comes a dont say straight bill lol
You obviously haven't read the bill!
@@newtron9 you need to come out the closet.
Great idea
Keep your thoughts to yourself very low IQ thank you have a great day
"To end global hunger?... no. But if it gets me a cabinet position in 2024....?"
-Ted's inner monologue, guaranteed.
it got him a senate seat
@@lynsthoughts3576 lmao
Actually...I watch some very gifted political psychics/Tarot readers and they were asking who had compromat... Ted Cruz does and it's with young men.
@@carolsaia7401 OH Goddess, after the hurt, shame, angst & evil they've dealt, please reveal that which they'd least like known.
@@carolsaia7401 Who do you watch? I used to but I've been trying to cut the drama from my viewing habits as I was spending my life grimly with trump & the trumiltons like MAGAs do. I cherish Cash Peters. Lena Rodriguez. Dave Johnson.
Blessings.
Standing ovation for Virtel! 👏👏👏👏👏👏💕
No
@@bxi1547 Yes.
ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON. Such condemnation, hatred & anger coming from folks who say they believe in love, acceptance & the golden rule. Actions speak louder than words & the cacophony from their actions drowns their words.
@@bookbwitched466 We also believe in biology and that man and woman exist for a reason. You can twist the facts all you want, but you can’t make me believe otherwise.
@@miguelus.81 No. You brainwashed people are comical. You probably believe there are 75 different genders.
"speaking of bowel movements, rudy ....."🤣🤣🤣
I luv it.
A passing Aussie
Can we pass a federal law that if you want to ban "critical race theory" in your state, you have to at the very least explain what you think that phrase means? Cause most of them are vague enough that they essentially ban teaching history at all...
republicans and explaining ideas dont tend to mix
Plus the very act of wanting to, or trying to ban it **proves** it still needs to be taught.
@@Tao_Tology good rule of thumb: if it makes a republican seethe, its usually a good thing!
They do in fact want to ban the teaching of history, of anything that makes white people uncomfortable. Making a white person feel bad is worse than learning about civil rights, to them
@@narcopsy exactly right. true history is gruesome and obviously makes white american elites look horrible... because they were
As for Ted Cruz, what makes anyone think he hasn't?
Excellent point!
I'm not a gambler atAll..bet he has.
his face does resemble a "soggy waffle".
🙌🏾
he hasnt ted or he hasnt cruz?
Love Louis Virtel!!! Thank you for putting him on the air! I first saw him on Keep It, not realizing he was one of Jimmy's writers. Funny and a total hunk.
I came here for this comment! I was like I know him!!! Love him and Ira, miss Aida though.
Hah. Keep It demonstrates the truly vaccuous 'content' he is willing to be part of. It is a terrible advert for his abilities.
Louis Virtel deserves his own late night show. He would improve all our lives! 🌈💘🥰🤩💖🌈
Spot on and fabulous.
I would definitely watch!
So true he’s brilliant
Trolls
Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
-Ernest Gaines
Texas Governor smuggled illegal immigrants across Several States this week From Texas to DC! He's really worried about gas prices!!
He didn't 'smuggle' anyone to DC. He returned them to the Democrats who let them in.
@@johnbrowne3950 Please explain more about trumps wall.
@@GHSSense2010 Check the stats. It was working until he lost the White House.
@@GHSSense2010 did the Mexicans pay up yet
@@MrTheHillfolk On the Bored wall ?? I . Trump said they would!
Imagine looking at Ted Cruz and thinking, "That man right there is an alpha. That's Texas!" He's a spineless blob fish.
I've seen blobs with more spine than Cruz.
Cruz isn't even in Lambda territory.
Hey! That's defamatory against blobfish!
Well…. That is Texas…
As a native Texan born and raised here, you won’t believe in 2018 when his supporters were campaigning for him with the slogan that he’s tough as Texas.
Dan is on point. The prompt response to "have you ever been in an orgy" is "define 'orgy.'"
Member of the committee for orgy definitions here:
It's 4 people or more. 3 people is a threesome, 4 people or more is an orgy UNLESS the 4 people include 2 couples, than it's swinging / partner swapping.
i think i´m watching jimmys opening monologue for a couple of years now. for breakfast cuz i´m from berlin ... its just a great way to start the day. thanks jimmy!
I'm up in Sweden and am watching with my morning coffee, too. Not all of Americans are QAnon morons, but I have to watch examples to reassure me (I'm an expat).
@@dleet86 haha fair enough 😂
same thing!
If you ever _saw_ chicken poop, you'd know that wasn't it.
Give the bird credit for finding a good home for it.
Maybe a smaller bird....
Lots of birds in barns.
If Rudy gave them three phones, it means he has five phones.
I was thinking the same thing
Indeed.
if you believe anything that comer out of jimmy’s mouth
that mean you are stupid
wake up smell the coffee ☕️
Biden is better than trump 👌🏼
Or 7
Actually, it was reported that they found no less than 18 different devices there.
"Speaking of bowel movements, Rudy Giuliani is in the news..." Now I can't stop laughing.
Fowl movements, I thought he said!!
@@carolsaia7401 That's great. It's when your bowel movement is extra foul...can I get a "yas" for diarrhea?
This segment is funny, witty, critical, and more than just entertaining. Virtel's comments are just brilliant and absolutely right to the point!
First time seeing him and found him absolutely delightful and on point!! Such a relatable young man!!
Jerry Tai- Agreed. I wish to have him at least 3-4 times a week.
He is soooooo fabulous!
No he is not funny at all. These laws are designed to protect children. Teachers have no business discussion sexual identity with very young children. This should be left up to the family. These laws do not go far enough in my opinion. There should be a 10 year minimum jail sentence to any teacher that attempts to push their ideology on children at this vulnerable age. I was not a huge fan of De Santis before, but he will be getting my vote in 2024.
@@jacklittle1624 you people are insufferable
Remember when Rudy Giuliani dressed up in drag and kissed Donald trump?
Only when I really want to hurl.
That was alot more yes to orgies than I expected 🤣
Same here haha!
Gender x sexuality ratio says a lot about who's participating too... Not many straight women in the mix, apparently 😅
Yeah, apparently the majority of people have orgies according to the sample of this Statistics. Really wouldn't have thought that
Question: Where does one go ... to find and participate in an orgy?
Me too.🤣🤣🤣
We need more of Virtel's Wit. PLEASE VOTE HERE BY LIKING!
Awesome to see Virtel back on the show, delivering his own material. Great writer, great perspective, great delivery.
I think he's terrific and not bad on the eyes, either.
Lol, I cannot believe how many people admitted to being in an orgy on TV
I can't believe they've been in an orgy and I haven't. :(
Yes but mrs Palmer and her five daughter’s don’t count🖐😜🤣
It's more common than you think.
@@TheDarkness1
So common it doesn't seem taboo anymore.
I was in an orgy but only as a witness. Oh, and cuz like to watch.
Considering how many 'butt-dialing' incidents Rudy's had.. yeah, I believe his face opens his phone.
I'm ashamed that I had to read that multiple times before I saw the joke.
😂😂😂
It’s incredible how he manages to butt dial people so much with a smart phone
Smart phone sorry rudy
😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
I love Virtels segments. He should have his own talk-show.
Check out the podcast Keep It!
Game show*
Was thinking so myself.
This felt so wonderful to get our own little community news segment pure joy and I love his energy
I am sure any image from gremlins 2 would have unlocked Guiliani's phone
So gooood
Ha!
💀
Love Jimmy Kimmel, Guillermo, and Virtel!! Looking forward to this all day 💕💕💕
And don't forget Aunt Chippie.
@@anneheimburger3186 and cousin Micky 🌹💖🇺🇦🇺🇸🌎🌍👀
Love this segment, would love to see it again! Great job Virtel!
Drug possession, car-jacking, aggrevated assault, and resisting arrest...or what we call "the Floridian Bingo".
Virtel could have his own show if he wanted tbh. I'd be here for it.
I didn’t know orgies were so common
You've never been invited?
They aren't they are confessing to a threesome.
Years ago I was at the train station in Hicksville, NY and got pooped on by a bird. The people around me assured me I would have good luck from it. I said, ‘yeah sure!’ and laughed thinking it must be a New York thing as I never heard that in my home state of Idaho.
Over the next couple weeks I had the best luck. So many good things, all unexpected, happened.
After that I always looked for power lines to stand under or anything else birds might perch on that I could get directly underneath. But it never happened after that.
Please please keep doing this week in Florida
Old Sheldon… B
Jimmy keep this dude he’s pulsating with a finger.
BRAVO for Virtel !!!!
Why is it that people NOBODY wants to get with are the ones who are so worried about sexual orientation and gender?
That's why- they're jealous.
Whoever came up with the "Orgy question" Idea deserves an immediate Pay raise ! 😂
Knowing how full of himself Cruz is he proally took that question as a compliment thinking the guy thought he was attractive
PROALLY ??? What does that mean ? Learn to spell .. PROBABLY !!
No one including Ted, thinks he’s attractive
@@douglascope3129 If you didn't know what word they meant how were you able to spell it for them?
Also if your punctuation is anything to go by you really shouldn't be complaining about other people's writing.
Proally.
@@douglascope3129 Probably misspelled from the word "prolly", which means "probably". If you know what it means, then why ask the question. You are not here to judge people on their spelling as if you have never made a mistake in your life. Get over yourself.
Pfft hahahah
Please keep having Louis Virtel, he is fabulous and on point! And it was really fun to see my local news featured too💜🌈💜
As someone who lives in Florida PLEASE CALL AND REGISTER TO VOTE AGAIN THIS YEAR IS THE YEAR WE CAN GET RID IF DESANTIS
Vote him out
@@teresabates1498 vote him out!
absolutely! everyone double check your voting status....with all the GOP dirty tricks trying to block voting - it's best to check NOW. Find out your states primary and VOTE... straight BLUE....
I’m a Floridian and I will happily vote for DeSantis this year. I will be damned if I let these liberal lunatics try to ruin our great state and become a shithole like California.
He was entirely right. I paused wondering if my parents would see this 🤣🤣
Didn’t imagine they’d pick my answer 😂😇
-blue haired chick
🤣🤗😎
Lmfao alright we get it it’s you …
You sure wanna let the world know you was in one huh
What your Instagram ? Lol
God bless that young man!
Vulgar as they all are.
We want more Louis on the show! He's GAYllermo.
Only much, much funnier.
I had heard that some teachers had taken it to the next level by not talking about any gender at all. No Mr or Mrs or Ms or anything that refers to gender at all.
Who can keep up with the 10000 pronouns they ...pardon me...zhey want us to apply to them now..FFS 😅
Heroes.
@@steve_beatty There are no more pronouns. Just use "they/them" and you are golden. It applies to all, and amoeba, which aren't gendered.
@@steve_beatty I agree, Stephanie, it’s really hard to keep up with that.
@@DK-zu6tt dunno..I don't want to offend anyone..I'll just try to be as all inclusive as I can while keeping things brief.I will call them all MA'AM..🥴
One could say that paying "lip" service to Trump is a "tiny" gesture. According to Stormy Daniels. 🤣😊🤣😂
Omg 😱😅😂you didn’t
No, Stormy did.
But Ted Cruz never said NO so the jury is out on that one lol😂.
Well Ted has basically already committed this act on Trump, metaphorically speaking. Man those phones Ted!
You STILL talk about him….you must want Melania’s spot in the bedroom so much.
And you dad did on you uncle.....metaphorically speaking, or not.
@@keilyns9126 what’s that mean. They won’t shut up teddy is wussy and trump has been shuffling around trying to figure out what’s going on grifting everyone around.
Is there any proof that it was just metaphorical? Ted certainly acted like it was a Hard question.
@@keilyns9126 Why shouldn't we talk about someone who is so desperate to keep his name in the news? It's what he wants, tell him to just lay there and enjoy it.
This guest host was the funniest thing on your show in a while. You should have more of your staff guest host or do bits like this.
I think society's thinking is evolving faster than the majority of lawmakers.
I want more Jokes about Klan mom
Hey Jimmy Aloha from SouthPoint Casino in Vegas, brought my mom for some fun. We watch you every night 🤙🏽❤️😍love to you and your crew
More Louis, please! Love him! 😍😍
Virtel I love the guy you so right if only we had governors like him 😭🤗🥰
Hey, I can accept the animal rights lady - her heart is in a good place. Ted Cruz - never...
Does she know what glue is made of though?
100% agree!
In centuries past - they would tar and feather bad politicians:)
RIP GILBERT GOTTFRIED
A very funny guy
"Hatriarchy" ....Im gonna start using that
The thought of touching Cruise makes me want to shower with hand sanitizer
In Italia being target of bird poop is supreme good luck
Virtel - 2022’s “Truth-Teller”. That segment was brilliant!
More Louis Virtel on Jimmy Kimmel!!!!!
Well we know that Cruz is very familiar with "Rimming" and "Tea Bagging" just ask Donald Trump !
Trump 2024 can't wait. That guy had so many accomplishments, unlike O'Biden
Also tossing salads
Did Ted Cruz really pass the question off to the lady on the panel? What kind of man does that?
Cowardly Lyin Ted Cruz who has proven to be no man at all.
Isn't he the one that went on vacation when his people in Texas were in the middle of an ice storm with no power no water no nothing what a prince not.
You're being too nice... Referring to Cruz as a man.
Ted cruz and a man should never be used together, I'm an old man you make fun of my wife you're going to regret it
Given the Separation of Church and State that is one of the foundational pillars of our government, I think that Congress should enact a Bill to prevent ANY elected politician from invoking the name of 'god', or any 'god', or any religious doctrine at all, when proposing legislation. At the Federal and state level.
Any amount of seperation of church and state has come in the last few decades. We've always been represented mostly by white male christians, and there was prayer in public schools until recently
Amen! 😉
We have a long time to go before we can try to make that happen. We still make kids invoke God every morning in public schools
But that would take GUTS, something the GOP despises and the Dems have none of.
@@narcopsy Yeah, I remember how much trouble I caused in grade school, in like, 1974 or '75 when I refused to say the Pledge because I a: didn't believe in god and b: didn't think it was a good idea to have kids pledge loyalty to the nation before they even understood what such a pledge meant, not to mention that making kids say it every day made it all kind of meaningless. ( I was one of those smarty whiz kids, knew just enough to know forcing kids to say the pledge was wrong!)
Comparing Rudy Giuliani to a vampire is an insult to vampires.
Louis Virtel NEEDS A SHOW NOW!
Thanks for asking a question they are capable of answering. Much better than the trick questions.
MORE VIRTEL TELL IT LIKE IT IS!! One of the absolutely best skits I've ever seen anywhere.
Yay, Louis!! Love it!!
Virtel was fantastic. Smart and great delivery. He should do segments more often!
I’ve been to some shows now and yours is the best honestly!
Jimmy always nails it!
Virtel is hilarious!
Preach Virtel!!!
I used to work in sewer lines and I got a lot of corn stories 😉
A bottom of the hole end of the line might be an arrow point
So, instead of Corn Pop, it was Corn Poop!
"Speaking of bowel movements" referring to Roody, spot on as well as funny.
More Virtel please, Jimmy.
The orgy questions were HYSTERICAL 😂
Florida or as I call it The State of Lunacy
Priceless!
Not ONCE...but TWICE I blew my drink out my nose! Thanks, Jimmy! Now get me those paper towels....
Please take the “Virtel it like it is” and make it a National commercial!!! Right on point!!
Great job thank you keep doing what you do make us laugh. 😂
Annette Benning was in my sister's Camp Fire Girl troop.
I need MOAR Virtel it like it is!
God gives everyone the rite to be ugly
But rudy abuses it
It's Not Rudy's Right he abuses It's his Destiny because that ugly is seeping out from the inside it happened when he sold his soul to the Devil Donald Trump.
Jimmy missed the joke with the lady who glued herself at the basket ball game. Instead of using super glue he should have said "Krazy glue"
That is a name brand and a liability issue. They had to use the generic term, assuming everyone would understand.
“Hatriarchy” my new fav word
Great transitions, Jimmy. Thank you for the smiles and laughter.
I just want you to know that I love your show keep up the good work
Yea right. what is good about it.
@@newtron9 Everything !
Thank you for giving a voice to the idiocy of new FL laws🤣🤣🤣😪
PERFECT Segway into Guliani 🤣
I said maybe to all of them. You never know! I appreciate the honesty!!
Keep doing this week in Florida this is amazing stuff
Not
@@newtron9 🤯
I’m in Florida. Lol. My neighbors are a bunch of Florida men.
@@livelifedontwasteopportuni1969 that’s the way it is 😄
One of your best ever, Jimmy. 😂😂😂
Hope to see more Vertel!
Thank you Jimmy!