What ever happened to self-awareness and common sense, in 2024 someone has to tell a grown adult woman to lose weight when they are nearly 400lbs... Incredible. She did not come on to get fitness advice, she wants to know what the trick is to getting Mr. Perfect.
Anyone who tells you that looks and weight do not matter are lying to you. Yes it can be seen as quite shallow but you get better outcomes in life if you live life for what it is and not what you think it should be.
She found the one man in the world who was willing to meet her where she was and threw him away. Ladies the weight is always a sign of deeper issues. I pray she figures it out.
@@jrenee34678 I don’t believe you and clearly you’ve never watched my 600 LB life!’ a lot of those people have had the most traumatic stories and they use food in replacement to deal with trauma. I’m guessing the trauma of what she went through has also contributed
@@debramitchellno. Plus size is plus size. She’s big but being plus size was a label made for big women not THICK women. There’s a difference. That’s why the “plus size” label isn’t for thick or slim thick women. It’s for fat women.
She admittedly had sex with him too early but then wonders why men want to use her body. You lead with your body, babe. I believe she understands that her options are slim at 365 pounds, so some attention is better than no attention, unfortunately.
Exactly Ashley doing too much with that line of thinking 😂. Africans being open to 200lb women... Ashley to women on 600lb life, have you considered African or Caribbeans? 😂
@@alexisfrancine4545 I’m from the continent 🤣 Unless we’re taking about older couples who’ve had multiple kids. No man in general is dating an overweight lady unless his options are limited. Thick is not the same as overweight…
@@Bobby-hn3cuI’m slim thick 120-130 and it is definitely different from when I was 180-190 🫡 but I want to lose more weight to look like skinny slim “thick”
I think it’s very insulting to African and Caribbean men to assume that they’re ok with or even prefer morbidly obese women. As an American born African woman with an African father, brothers, uncles and male cousins…I can assure you a woman pushing 400lbs is most def not their preference nor do they like anything in the vicinity Like, bffr.
Half of my family is from the Caribbean. I know exactly what I’m talking about and I’m NOT saying it’s all men. However, most men appreciate a thicker or fuller figure woman..
@@ashleyldalton heeyyy Ashley! 🫶🏾. I agree with that. They do appreciate Thicker/fuller figured SHAPELIER women more than other races of men-for sure. However, they still want curvy in all the right places (hour glass shape) and that still means they want women w/in a healthy weight. A 350+ lb body is giving none of that. Respectfully.
Yup, African and Caribean men like a certain type or full figure. They don't go for any kind of bigger woman. If you are a plus sized woman they'll hit you up if you have the pear shape.
For the first young woman, I will say that one thing I’ve learned is that I can control conversations. I’ve learned that this can cause others to get quiet and they seem “boring” when really I just always took over the conversation so they just let me. I had to learn to just be quiet and let others speak, ask questions, pick their brains. When you do this, they’ll see that you’re actually interested in what they have to say.
As an African woman, it’s ridiculous how you guys just throw anything at the black men. Where are the 400 pound women in Africa and the Caribbean at that these men just crave???? They like thick women. Let’s be honest if he is with a 400 pound woman, it’s because he wants something like a green card or whatever. This lady is beautiful and can lose the weight to get the man she wants but to say go to the African or Caribbean man is insulting.
Yep I've been in the Caribbean and I didn't see big people. The only people I saw with size were older grandma type women and that is expected but they weren't morbid obese. Only in America and the west will you see 400lb women on the norm.
The first girl is super sweet and has a great personality… I’m rooting for her and she definitely needs to go to Afro tech! She’s really picky though and doesn’t seem willing to become more appealing to the men she wants…
I definitely agree with you there. Very beautiful and outgoing. Unfortunately men are visual animals and being obese does have limitations as does the opposite end of the spectrum (an0rex!a).
@@jayo3074 I’m saying unfortunately because alot of women don’t have that same feeling in regard to a man’s physical features. Ex. If a man has other attributes, we will slide on the physical. Men are physical only. ESP at first, and to ME, that is unfortunate.
She’s leading with her career and most guys don’t care about that. if a man isn’t interested then don’t lay with him and get mad because he didn’t take you out she has to love herself.
Women tend to think their money matters. It absolutely does not. My husband won’t let me pay a bill so the best thing I can do for him is to be pretty, sweet and nurturing.
Listen idk who told her weight doesn't matter when attracting a man but it does girl😭 I use the motto walk and talk (my boss uses that). Calorie deficit works too
@@allMinabe True, but everybody has their own type. So yes, you will broaden your pool when doing that...but there's always some guys that no matter the weight, they like you just as you are. FR
@@jayc5756 Eh, for the type of man she wants to attractive they aren't approaching her. Men that don't care about weight in the beginning are like unicorns, they might exist but I wouldn't wait around to see if a man doesn't care about weight. She's been getting men to like her but it's the quick-hit-it-then-bounce men🤷♀️After losing those pounds she will probably be approached by the type of men that she wants then her personality and other attributes can shine.
@@moblack5883 Bruh. Idk if you're trying to be funny by making an irrelevant statement...or really that ignorant. But just incase you're that ignorant, let me explain then. My statement Never said every man or majority of men want a 400lb woman...cause most ppl here Knows That Already. But as I was saying, there still are guys out there that do....excluding the guys that just wanna f*ck them. There's actually good decent men out there that like and prefer them. I happen to be 1 of those guys. But of course we are not the majority. As far as her losing weight...yes of course she will open up her dating pool options...because most men don't like em like that like I do. So the point I'm trying to make is that, There Is guys out there that are into that still...whether minority or majority...it's still out there. Facts!
@@jayc5756 Eh, the woman here keeps being approached by non serious guys. She mentioned wanting a high value man and they haven't been approaching her. I get everyone has a type but for the man she wants they aren't choosing a huge undisciplined woman. If that were true she wouldn't be asking for tips.
1st girl is finding it hard to be accountable because she knows she smart and has money and that is not all, Ash Im so happy you did not back down and pet her NO BABY love drop the weight and give yourself options
I’m not understanding why we are still allowing ourselves to get this heavy if it isn’t due to a health issue. This is beyond dangerous especially for us Black American women. In addition being too heavy stops us from having more fulfilled lives. 😏
The weight sneaks up on people, many clothes have stretch in them as well… So many adults have been overweight since childhood. They don’t see anything wrong with how they look. There are so many people who are telling females they don’t have to be a “Skinny Minnie”as well. Clothes are unlimited, there is nothing that a size 6 can wear that a size 18 can’t wear as well… Being overweight is socially acceptable now.
@@Essence56this! Everything you said is soooo true. In the black community there is not such thing as “overweight” they call it “big bone”Lol. Many black women don’t even know they are overweight…especially the ones who are overweight with a big bum. They don’t want to work out they think they will loose the bum. Not only that but many black girls specifically have been overweight since middle school and high school. Black women don’t prioritize health or fitness so it doesn’t get passed down. That’s why there are so many black women getting on a fitness journey. Mean while other races of women have been prioritizing fitness because they know it matters. The kind of men you attract, the jobs you get, the way you are viewed. It matters. Sisters please catch up neeeow
“I lost 130 pounds 2 years ago.” Obviously gained it back within that amount of time or just stayed same stagnant weight since losing it. Keep going. There’s a whole lot more weight to lose if you’re wanting a high earning man. Lose another 130+ pounds.
I wouldn't go for a fat man. I think more people should strive to be at a healthy weight. I'm very fit. If I start dating again, [I most likely won't date again. It's exhausting. 3 times was enough for me.], I would prefer someone who is also thin or fit like me. We can keep each other right and tight. Discipline is very important to me. If you can't stay healthy, you might have other qualities that are lacking in discipline. That's just my opinion.
That is very true. When I started gaining weight, it was because my life was chaotic and I lacked discipline. Now I’m fit, married to a fit man and we are both very disciplined in all aspects of our life.
@@xxarianahiltonxx5116 Yes, don't date until you know how to vet...so dating doesn't have to be that exhausting. That way you eliminate 80% of the players and users and ppl that will waste your time. Facts!
you absolutely would go for a fat man if he has other qualities you want. Biggie Smalls and others like him get women all the time? why? money. status. etc.
You’re not wrong, I’m overweight and it’s honestly a symptom of a lot of unresolved issues and a lack of discipline, stability and self love. Taking care of oneself is the greatest form of self love and it informs how others should also treat you. It’s a truth a lot of people don’t like.
I am so happy that Ashley kept it real with the 1st woman instead of telling her things like she is a queen, a boss babe and you go girl. She need to get that weight down. We get better results in dating when we look good and feel good about ourselves. ✔️
We have to be realistic...being obese isnt even just about your body its your mindset, how you do (or dont) tackle issues, your discipline...like come on
The second girls story reminds me of Insecure in how Lawrence finally made something of himself but without Issa. He was broke and miserable with Issa but after the breakup, he changed completely. They ended up back together some time later. Sometimes time and space is needed for ppl to evolve.
Once I lose respect for a man, no matter how good he is or how hard he tries to make things better, I can't un-see what I saw in him. I've experienced this before and tried to see him in a different light, I just couldn't. In my opinion, just let it (him) go and let God. Gotta get the faith and know that God has someone better for you.
Why would anyone want to be with someone that they do not respect? I think that's strange. Why suffer just to say that you have someone? People need to stop being so desperate.
She seems very sweet however I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that she’s a high earner but has not invested in a trainer or resources to help her lose the weight. Unfortunately the world we live in is superficial and looks will get you in the door. She is quite extroverted which is great cause it will help her stay there. She is quite chatty and should work on social cues and not reveal so much so soon. Would love to see a follow up video with her! ❤
Love how gracefully honest Ashley was with this caller. Caller is a beautiful woman and I’m sure she can find someone as is. However, Ashley is right, her options would increase if she lost some weight. Men are EXTREMELY visual. Even once you get them, you have to work to keep their attention.
@@ashleym.2981 No you don't have to keep working to keep them. That's a False lie that ppl keep saying and spreading & running with like its true. Yes, we are more visual than you. Our Overall Attraction is based In The Physical. Whereas it's other factors with women. So before I continue...in that same logic, wouldnt you think that it's the opposite in that we have to keep doing things to keep your Attraction and keep you wanting us...vs the other side, because your physical doesn't change much? So keeping that logic sis. If you are our ideal type, All you have to do...if you have All the other intangibles that we are looking for in a woman. We're both good ppl. We have a good Connection, chemistry, all that. All women gotta do is to don't lose themselves much. That's It! On the flip side...your attractions can sway with the wind. Very unpredictable. So yeah. We gotta sometimes stop looking at men thinking with our own eyes and how We Feel...but how The Men Feel. Feel me? Hope that explains things good. Later
She may be able to carry her weight well...for now. But as you age, that's too much weight to carry on your body frame. It's too hard on your back, your knee, your hips and your feet. It also forces your heart to work harder. This is for me too...190 on the road to 165 lbs.
She's a pretty girl, and you can tell she has a beautiful soul.If she wants to lose the weight, she can even invest in surgery. Not only will it make her lose weight. It will teach her how to eat correctly.
Surgery only works if you can remain disciplined with the smaller meal sizes. A good surgeon will ask you to drop weigh to be under 300 pounds too to reduce risk of complications.
Former mental health clinician here - Ashley has more emotional intelligence than anyone I've seen in a very long time. She is truly therapeutic in such a kind, almost maternal way. She's really going places and deservedly so....
A lot of our search comes down to the type we want don't want us back so we either change our type or change ourselves ..or you can of course stay on the merry go round.
@Mellissa-f7i Right 😆😆, I'm half Caribbean and men still want you to be fit even if you're thick. Wanting an overweight person is PUSHING it. However, there's always exceptions..... 😮💨😮💨
@@Mellissa-f7iI do?? 🤨🤨 There's all kinds of Caribbean men, aren't there?? Some date slim women, some date women with a bit more weight on them (thick/chubby), but fat/obese?? Nah.
@@Mellissa-f7i Back in the days. And a lot still want a woman with meat on their bones...as they say. But idk if that big or not. I'm from Caribbean parents and I'm like the only 1 in my family that likes and seriously date women her size, so it is what it is.
Yes, you have to have a good Connection 1st. So im not mad at that for her dropping him. Its not just boring....its the Intagibles of it Ashley. The missing Connection of it. Thats the most Important factor of a good long-term relationship. FR
2nd caller you don’t want bath water ran you want him to pay the bills on time and without you having to tell him. He ain’t there! 🤷🏾♀️ Move on maam… speaking from experience!
To the 27 year old lady, be very very careful before you make a final decision. People change, idk what’s this “grew apart” comment. The person you was five years ago is not the same today. You cant expect to be the same! You work on who you both are while evolving. We got to think things over before severing ties in this dating market. These young adults dont have it the same way we did.
Agreed. He’s asking what can I do and is doing it. He’s making more money now. Make it work. Showing up each day is what matters. The feelings will return. It just worry. Get off the internet!! Talk to people who know you and the guy in real life so they can tell you the truth of yourself too.
I love that Ash keeps it real!!!! Yes we know love yourself how you are …but you also have to be real with yourself. I hate that folks try to make her walk on egg shells because she’s honest.
I have been watching you for a couple weeks. I think you’re amazing. I think you are giving women great advice, especially about putting themselves together. I had to make a comment because I absolutely love that You said you had a list and you will be following up with people. That is so professional and so thoughtful. I was like I think I wanna call her lol.
She is a plus sided influencer. She got her following based on that identity. It doesn’t seem like she wants to lose the weight. It’s part of her identity.
#2. If you tell this poor but good man go away for 2 years to get himself together he's likely to find someone that will take him where he is now and roll with him as they grow together. Be willing to handle that risk.
Exactly when I was with my x I was modeling and part time at gym by women’s standards I was broke , the irony is she was unemployed i helped her study for her career and would support her give money for her Uber when she got work she ain’t have a car , but I was broke studying IT and she cheated & dumped me in my birthday and lied about getting G🍇aped this was back in 2019 - lost that job due to depression I was late every day for like 8 months straight. I kept studying though And met someone special I’m. Engineer now and became best tech in the city in 1 and year a half, I work for a global company I can move to the Philippines, DR or the UK and keep same pay rate I have here in New York. Funny women would still assume I’m not good enough I’ve never owned a car. In my opinion women that are hyper materialistic, entitled, fat and won’t refuse to contribute or reciprocate men’s efforts they don’t deserve a high earning man heck they don’t even deserve a normal good man because they themselves are not good women they are selfish and only care about their own self interest. Anyways I finally found the one wedding next year a traditional black woman no kids and her parents still married about to make 39 years married life is good now but I’ll be honest I would never date a black woman again if it doesn’t workout with my fiancee. Too many bw are overweight and are baby mommas
It’s so unfortunate so many beautiful black women do not understand that being desirable means you must be physically fit. I have always be curvy but I maintain my shape through sports, walking and choosing work that I do not sit down ( I am a hostess). It’s a hard truth but it also helps you health wise to lose any extra pounds 🙏🏾 Lose the weight, level up your mind and looks and you will attract providers, I am a testimony 🙏🏾👑
The second woman doesn't want to stay with that man but wants someone to convince her that she should and also tell her that she'll regret not staying with him. That's not where her heart is and that's not what she truly wants. She should just move on.
Second woman is very intellectual and beautiful. She has to meet him where he is at. Look at the reality and not potential. I couldn't date anyone that I don't respect.
😅She came to Ashley's show to pick her brain and promote her channel bc she has all the answers and doesn't want to lose weight for herself, and Dream Man got it!!
As an African man proud of my lovely continent, watching this crap i feel offended that we are so misrepresented, by the green card bros, to the point that a 400 pounds low Qlty woman is pushed on us as if we are so desperate for this. I have never seen a 400-pound woman in Africa, and we African men don't want this. This is nonsense!!! What an insult.
The main issue most plus size women have is confidence. I’ve been married for 15+ years and my husband is the opposite of me in appearance etc but we’re a great match.…. This young lady is in the perfect state and city to find a quality mate so I’m confused why she’s single? I love the advice that was given but something is telling me she wanted to talk more about her career than love.
Im South African and us South African women are amongst some of the most beautiful and beautifully shaped women in the entire world. Other African women (Tanzanian, Kenyan, Ghanian, Cameroonian, Congolese) are just as breath taking. Im VERY offended at this lady talmbout “there arent women like you in my village” as if us African women are unattractive village maids. Mam, are you sure those African men who approach you aren’t looking to secure some kind of visa through you? Because I can assure you, we are very beautiful and built well physically. 🫰🏽 (and also we live in cities just like you).
Yeah in south africa she wouldn't pull men like that. Men here are very specific, you can be chunky but only til a certain size and she's way too large for an average african village man.
I need people in their 20’s to realize that 20 is young BUT you’re not a child. It’s very possible to have a degree, a car, a successful career and a home before 30. I cringe when people say, I’m ONLY 27 … like sweetheart, you’re basically 30.
ASH great Job in the second Lady Love it I think it’s falling apart naturally. He gotta go home, he gotta do that on his own and tell him A conversation need to be had and tell him respectfully
The divorcee needs to get on meds and go back to work And the 27 year old needs to let him go because the worst mistake BW make is dating down. 27 or not, never date a man who makes less than you. Even if it’s only by an extra 1000 dollars, the man should make more
Folks watch too many of these damn romance movies🙄 Stop giving up the culala, not married and then complaining that men objectify you and don't respect you🤔
People telling you that you don’t look quite 400lbs, Are basically saying You only look around 300lbs. Which is still unhealthy. This is gas lighting at its finest. Those people are not your friends. Unless they are telling you that you look healthy, it’s not a good thing. Don’t find comfort in that. Part of the weight loss is mental. It’s calling out the lies we’re telling ourselves. And definitely Don’t let people lie straight to your face. Not helpful. Anyone who coddles your current position is against your growth. They might mean well but they’re a distraction to your goals. This can be applied to any goal in life.
No. We dont want morbidly obese, out of shape, unshapely women. We like thick shapely small waisted women. 400lbs is not a thing you observe a lot in Africa quite simply because we can't afford to eat our way to that weight. Stop it
On behalf of African men, you are very wrong Ashley. We for sure like our women thick, but not morbidly obese and shapeless. African women tend to be thick but with a small waist. They have shape, not like amoeba. And for god sake stop stereotyping African men as the ougabouga type you've been exposed to on your American TV. Y'all really need to cut that out, get outside of that American bubble of yours and touch real grass. This conversation is giving highly ignorant and uneducated.
This is very scary, she looks exactly like my niece. She’s currently 18 and weighs about 300lbs and refuses to care about her health. I try my best to help her eat better and go to the gym. I hope she doesn’t end up like this young lady 🥲
Babe I’m plus size as well- ppl lie and say u don’t look too big to be nice while they work hard to be slim. Dont believe them.
EXACTLY. Men lie to get cookie and women lie to her so they are "nice" when in reality that is really cruel.
@@MoonMidnight3 You dont look too big in that pic, but ok. Lol
@jayc5756 That aint her ass😂😂 that's a celebrity. I see how ppl get tricked.
@@jayc5756That aint her ass😂😂 that's a celebrity. I see how ppl get tricked.
@@ItsMeMsAlpha Lol 😂
I’m glad you told her to lose weight. We need to promote getting and staying healthy.
She just evaded the suggestion even though she recons she’s there for advice!!!!
What ever happened to self-awareness and common sense, in 2024 someone has to tell a grown adult woman to lose weight when they are nearly 400lbs... Incredible. She did not come on to get fitness advice, she wants to know what the trick is to getting Mr. Perfect.
@@CodyBrian-r4rI agree with you’re comment here. You have to do the work to attract the man you really want 💯
@@CodyBrian-r4r Men have been telling women this for decades, but most will never listen until it's too late, whether it's KS, Ashley, etc.
I was hoping Ashley would come thru with the honesty .
Half of me feels like she came to promote her channel the other half feels she didn’t need Ashley for these answers
Exactly she knows she is morbidly obese and most men don’t like it.
Yeah I was sitting here thinking she was answering her own questions and also promoting her content but hey 🤷🏽♀️🤣
It felt that way, I was on that live .
It’s plausible. 😊
She said she came for compliments smh
6 figures … invest in yourself … VSG, a trainer, a nutritionist. Cmon now
Right
Ozempic
@@tiffanythompson-wm8dc only thing that makes sense
@@Amouzdede no, its making ppl sick
fasting...
i love how Ashley immediately told her to drop the weight because no amount of anything will make men look past her weight. You're a real one Ashley
Ashley is so right, ever since I gained weight, I don’t want to go out. When I was working out and taking care of myself I was out more.
Continue to go out, life is too short just continue to work on your weight goals…
Just remember it’s all in your head..🌞
Anyone who tells you that looks and weight do not matter are lying to you. Yes it can be seen as quite shallow but you get better outcomes in life if you live life for what it is and not what you think it should be.
facts
@jayo3074 It makes life simpler too, not just socially, but health wise and for your own self-concept and self-esteem. ┐(´～`；)┌
Wonderfully said !
I refuse to date while heavy. They ain’t gonna play with me
At all!
What you said! I recently lost 70lbs, feel so much better.
Men still play games at 130lbs
Smart
It's sad but it's honestly for the best to focus on yourself right now.
Caller: I’m 365 lbs
Ashley’s Title: 400lb Fashion Influencer 😭😭😭
365 rounds up to 400. 😂
@@lauren1937true she round it up
In Ashly’s defense. She called herself that.
over 130 for a woman is too big.
@@PumpdaBrakes-ub8kp your mama over 130. Tell her that
She found the one man in the world who was willing to meet her where she was and threw him away. Ladies the weight is always a sign of deeper issues. I pray she figures it out.
I don't believe her
@@jrenee34678 I don’t believe you and clearly you’ve never watched my 600 LB life!’ a lot of those people have had the most traumatic stories and they use food in replacement to deal with trauma.
I’m guessing the trauma of what she went through has also contributed
Sis… ❤ She’s telling u the truth. Was a plus size girlie all my life and I had the best quality options once I lost the weight. It’s a game changer
Right !!!
Are you single?
It’s like a man getting his money up.
🙄
Big facts!! Same here I use to weight 265 I dropped to 190 (weight lifting) total game changer the type of men I attract now is insane!
She's out of breath just holding the camera and talking to Ashley. I really hope she takes care of her health before it's too late.
I’ve noticed that too.. 👀
400 isn't plus size. It's huge. Let's get real here.
Lol lawd have mercy 😂 I'm dead
Exactly, “plus size” is probably 175-200
@AndreCHatchett bad knees, bad back. Alot health problems come with being 300, 400 pounds. Even lizzo slim down. Lol
@@debramitchellno. Plus size is plus size. She’s big but being plus size was a label made for big women not THICK women. There’s a difference. That’s why the “plus size” label isn’t for thick or slim thick women. It’s for fat women.
I’m a size 8/10 and I feel plus sized. I can timagine being 400
So true, I went from 152 to 138 and got engaged super quickly
DP looks great. Husband is lucky.
Why is this the EXACT weight I just lost in 3 months 😭😂 152 to 138. Congrats babes❤
@@3bcgy16 that’s awesome 😎 congrats to you too! Proud of you
@@riosworld700 thank you ☺️
lol this helped keep me motivated. I got down from 170 to 152 and I’m trying so hard to see 138. Thank you for this and keep it up girl!
Diff between babble n conversation.
Your body reflects your routine n preferences.
Your mindset shows thru your routine n actions
Wow, so well stated. 👏
Love this 🎯
She admittedly had sex with him too early but then wonders why men want to use her body. You lead with your body, babe. I believe she understands that her options are slim at 365 pounds, so some attention is better than no attention, unfortunately.
So true but most people aren’t ready for that conversation though 😒
I want the see the man that hit this! Come on!
She's smaller than my tenants grown adult kids that collapsed through the first floor
@@Quinten4M😅😅😅
Good advice❤
I’ve never seen a 400 lbs African woman. Curvy and thick is not the same. 🤦🏾♂️
Exactly Ashley doing too much with that line of thinking 😂. Africans being open to 200lb women...
Ashley to women on 600lb life, have you considered African or Caribbeans? 😂
They definitely exist. Take a trip to the continent. 🤦🏽♀️
@@alexisfrancine4545 I’m from the continent 🤣
Unless we’re taking about older couples who’ve had multiple kids.
No man in general is dating an overweight lady unless his options are limited.
Thick is not the same as overweight…
@@Bobby-hn3cuI’m slim thick 120-130 and it is definitely different from when I was 180-190 🫡 but I want to lose more weight to look like skinny slim “thick”
I think it’s very insulting to African and Caribbean men to assume that they’re ok with or even prefer morbidly obese women. As an American born African woman with an African father, brothers, uncles and male cousins…I can assure you a woman pushing 400lbs is most def not their preference nor do they like anything in the vicinity Like, bffr.
Half of my family is from the Caribbean. I know exactly what I’m talking about and I’m NOT saying it’s all men. However, most men appreciate a thicker or fuller figure woman..
@@ashleyldalton heeyyy Ashley! 🫶🏾. I agree with that. They do appreciate Thicker/fuller figured SHAPELIER women more than other races of men-for sure. However, they still want curvy in all the right places (hour glass shape) and that still means they want women w/in a healthy weight. A 350+ lb body is giving none of that. Respectfully.
@@ashleyldaltonno ashley. Those caribbean men are broke and want those women for their money and green card.
Agreed, I’m black American and it’s insulting to black men. Slim women are the ultimate preference, not fat or “thick” women.
Yup, African and Caribean men like a certain type or full figure. They don't go for any kind of bigger woman. If you are a plus sized woman they'll hit you up if you have the pear shape.
For the first young woman, I will say that one thing I’ve learned is that I can control conversations. I’ve learned that this can cause others to get quiet and they seem “boring” when really I just always took over the conversation so they just let me. I had to learn to just be quiet and let others speak, ask questions, pick their brains. When you do this, they’ll see that you’re actually interested in what they have to say.
This is a good point! I do the same thing unconsciously, going to try to be a more active listener
@@ctinafox2063same
As an African woman, it’s ridiculous how you guys just throw anything at the black men. Where are the 400 pound women in Africa and the Caribbean at that these men just crave???? They like thick women. Let’s be honest if he is with a 400 pound woman, it’s because he wants something like a green card or whatever.
This lady is beautiful and can lose the weight to get the man she wants but to say go to the African or Caribbean man is insulting.
Yeah I felt that way too. Like why do you think African men and Caribbean men want someone who is 400 pounds?
Thats because Black males except alot especially if it's another race of women let's be honest here ladies
@@KiaRoane right! It’s degrading.
Funny part is I’ve never seen a 400 pounder walking around in Africa but social media would have you believe that’s what those men want.
Yep I've been in the Caribbean and I didn't see big people. The only people I saw with size were older grandma type women and that is expected but they weren't morbid obese. Only in America and the west will you see 400lb women on the norm.
Went from 300+ pounds two years ago when I was miserable and married to 135 single and happy. 😊 ❤
The first girl is super sweet and has a great personality… I’m rooting for her and she definitely needs to go to Afro tech! She’s really picky though and doesn’t seem willing to become more appealing to the men she wants…
It's laziness
I definitely agree with you there. Very beautiful and outgoing. Unfortunately men are visual animals and being obese does have limitations as does the opposite end of the spectrum (an0rex!a).
@@justanotherabc8888 what do you mean unfortunately? Lol It's normal to be attracted to women who are in shape
@@jayo3074 I’m saying unfortunately because alot of women don’t have that same feeling in regard to a man’s physical features.
Ex. If a man has other attributes, we will slide on the physical. Men are physical only. ESP at first, and to ME, that is unfortunate.
Respectfully, She wants A LOT considering what she’s offering.
She’s leading with her career and most guys don’t care about that. if a man isn’t interested then don’t lay with him and get mad because he didn’t take you out she has to love herself.
Women tend to think their money matters. It absolutely does not. My husband won’t let me pay a bill so the best thing I can do for him is to be pretty, sweet and nurturing.
I am a Caribbean woman. Stopped lying Caribbean man don't want that
You're ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!
Only the ones who want green card or woman fi mine dem 😅
Thank youuuu sis. Confusing the dudes desperate to go foreign 🤦🏿♂️
As a Jamaican woman, you sound delusional in these replies there’s plenty of Caribbean men who genuinely like fluffy women
💯. AB hour glass big girl maybe but not no wanga gut sloppy woman. Not for real
Listen idk who told her weight doesn't matter when attracting a man but it does girl😭 I use the motto walk and talk (my boss uses that). Calorie deficit works too
@@allMinabe True, but everybody has their own type.
So yes, you will broaden your pool when doing that...but there's always some guys that no matter the weight, they like you just as you are. FR
@@jayc5756 I've never had a homeboy who said I just can't wait to go out this Saturday and meet a 400lb woman. It just doesn't happen
@@jayc5756 Eh, for the type of man she wants to attractive they aren't approaching her. Men that don't care about weight in the beginning are like unicorns, they might exist but I wouldn't wait around to see if a man doesn't care about weight. She's been getting men to like her but it's the quick-hit-it-then-bounce men🤷♀️After losing those pounds she will probably be approached by the type of men that she wants then her personality and other attributes can shine.
@@moblack5883 Bruh. Idk if you're trying to be funny by making an irrelevant statement...or really that ignorant.
But just incase you're that ignorant, let me explain then.
My statement Never said every man or majority of men want a 400lb woman...cause most ppl here Knows That Already. But as I was saying, there still are guys out there that do....excluding the guys that just wanna f*ck them. There's actually good decent men out there that like and prefer them. I happen to be 1 of those guys. But of course we are not the majority.
As far as her losing weight...yes of course she will open up her dating pool options...because most men don't like em like that like I do.
So the point I'm trying to make is that, There Is guys out there that are into that still...whether minority or majority...it's still out there. Facts!
@@jayc5756 Eh, the woman here keeps being approached by non serious guys. She mentioned wanting a high value man and they haven't been approaching her. I get everyone has a type but for the man she wants they aren't choosing a huge undisciplined woman. If that were true she wouldn't be asking for tips.
1st girl is finding it hard to be accountable because she knows she smart and has money and that is not all, Ash Im so happy you did not back down and pet her NO BABY love drop the weight and give yourself options
I’m not understanding why we are still allowing ourselves to get this heavy if it isn’t due to a health issue.
This is beyond dangerous especially for us Black American women.
In addition being too heavy stops us from having more fulfilled lives. 😏
The weight sneaks up on people,
many clothes have stretch in them as well…
So many adults have been overweight since childhood.
They don’t see anything wrong with how they look.
There are so many people who are telling females they don’t have to be a “Skinny Minnie”as well.
Clothes are unlimited, there is nothing that a size 6 can wear that a size 18 can’t wear as well…
Being overweight is socially acceptable now.
Thank you for holding them accountable
@@Essence56this! Everything you said is soooo true. In the black community there is not such thing as “overweight” they call it “big bone”Lol. Many black women don’t even know they are overweight…especially the ones who are overweight with a big bum. They don’t want to work out they think they will loose the bum. Not only that but many black girls specifically have been overweight since middle school and high school. Black women don’t prioritize health or fitness so it doesn’t get passed down. That’s why there are so many black women getting on a fitness journey. Mean while other races of women have been prioritizing fitness because they know it matters. The kind of men you attract, the jobs you get, the way you are viewed. It matters. Sisters please catch up neeeow
400lbs ain’t sneaking up on you .
@@garynnbonds-jz1sq exactly my point. It doesn’t happen overnight. 😩
“I lost 130 pounds 2 years ago.” Obviously gained it back within that amount of time or just stayed same stagnant weight since losing it. Keep going. There’s a whole lot more weight to lose if you’re wanting a high earning man. Lose another 130+ pounds.
Lol I cant 😂! I want to see ex bf or whoever smash this...😅
Nah she’s definitely 💯 400 pounds she needs to lose exactly 230
How is she going to come on here asking for what she wants but is not what most men would want???…..
Preach! She is delusional
Exactly.
I wouldn't go for a fat man. I think more people should strive to be at a healthy weight. I'm very fit. If I start dating again, [I most likely won't date again. It's exhausting. 3 times was enough for me.], I would prefer someone who is also thin or fit like me. We can keep each other right and tight. Discipline is very important to me. If you can't stay healthy, you might have other qualities that are lacking in discipline. That's just my opinion.
This!
That is very true. When I started gaining weight, it was because my life was chaotic and I lacked discipline. Now I’m fit, married to a fit man and we are both very disciplined in all aspects of our life.
@@xxarianahiltonxx5116 Yes, don't date until you know how to vet...so dating doesn't have to be that exhausting. That way you eliminate 80% of the players and users and ppl that will waste your time. Facts!
you absolutely would go for a fat man if he has other qualities you want. Biggie Smalls and others like him get women all the time? why? money. status. etc.
You’re not wrong, I’m overweight and it’s honestly a symptom of a lot of unresolved issues and a lack of discipline, stability and self love. Taking care of oneself is the greatest form of self love and it informs how others should also treat you. It’s a truth a lot of people don’t like.
I am so happy that Ashley kept it real with the 1st woman instead of telling her things like she is a queen, a boss babe and you go girl. She need to get that weight down. We get better results in dating when we look good and feel good about ourselves. ✔️
Respectfully: the delusion is real here 👀👀👀
6 figures but doesn’t hire a nutritionist n trainer! Gurl u cap
You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!!!! She's lying.
🎯🎯
You’ve never met fat rich women or fat rich men?🙄🙄🙄
@@icygyal2555fr, sometimes fat people don’t want or feel the desire to change
@@icygyal2555you’d want to be rich and fat by choice? 😮
The first girl was so sweet ☺️ regardless of her weight I hope she finds what she’s looking for ❤️
We have to be realistic...being obese isnt even just about your body its your mindset, how you do (or dont) tackle issues, your discipline...like come on
I know a lot of undisciplined and unhealthy straight sized people. The fat phobia in the comments is not nice.
You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!!!
@@blythedhia696 Girl please
4% black, 2% white in the USA go for that size, but commitment is unlikely, and income is also unlikely.
The internet is hell on earth.. smh
Well damn.......
The second girls story reminds me of Insecure in how Lawrence finally made something of himself but without Issa. He was broke and miserable with Issa but after the breakup, he changed completely. They ended up back together some time later. Sometimes time and space is needed for ppl to evolve.
It’s the title for me 😂
@Miner-79NER It's so extra. 😆😆
Ashley dont sugarcoat nothing lol
@@rewbi2196
😂😂😂
Once I lose respect for a man, no matter how good he is or how hard he tries to make things better, I can't un-see what I saw in him. I've experienced this before and tried to see him in a different light, I just couldn't. In my opinion, just let it (him) go and let God. Gotta get the faith and know that God has someone better for you.
Why would anyone want to be with someone that they do not respect? I think that's strange. Why suffer just to say that you have someone? People need to stop being so desperate.
Exactly
@@xxarianahiltonxx5116 exactly ppl scared to be alone
A guy that is quiet and more reserved is going to seem boring to a motormouth. No offense.
Yea I couldn’t stand it
I was thinking the same. fat people seem like they talk a lot
She seems very sweet however I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that she’s a high earner but has not invested in a trainer or resources to help her lose the weight. Unfortunately the world we live in is superficial and looks will get you in the door. She is quite extroverted which is great cause it will help her stay there. She is quite chatty and should work on social cues and not reveal so much so soon. Would love to see a follow up video with her! ❤
Love Ashley's advice at the end, and that she was so real but kind. The influencer has so many great qualities!
she is big. her other "qualities" are not important when the outside is not enticing enough to even find out.
Love how gracefully honest Ashley was with this caller. Caller is a beautiful woman and I’m sure she can find someone as is. However, Ashley is right, her options would increase if she lost some weight. Men are EXTREMELY visual. Even once you get them, you have to work to keep their attention.
@@ashleym.2981 No you don't have to keep working to keep them. That's a False lie that ppl keep saying and spreading & running with like its true.
Yes, we are more visual than you. Our Overall Attraction is based In The Physical. Whereas it's other factors with women. So before I continue...in that same logic, wouldnt you think that it's the opposite in that we have to keep doing things to keep your Attraction and keep you wanting us...vs the other side, because your physical doesn't change much?
So keeping that logic sis. If you are our ideal type, All you have to do...if you have All the other intangibles that we are looking for in a woman. We're both good ppl. We have a good Connection, chemistry, all that. All women gotta do is to don't lose themselves much. That's It!
On the flip side...your attractions can sway with the wind. Very unpredictable. So yeah. We gotta sometimes stop looking at men thinking with our own eyes and how We Feel...but how The Men Feel. Feel me? Hope that explains things good. Later
It's wild how all plus sized women are categorized under the same category. I could date a plus sized woman and she be 160lbs.
Height plays a part in it..
@@nicolelovely725alter and BMI
even then 160 isn’t plus size .
365 at any height for a woman is terrible
I give up. Too boring to be your boyfriend but good enough to sleep with ... And we're comfortable saying these things on the Internet.
😅
Is your pfp a meme or a stock photo? I see it everywhere.
You ask such good question and give advice from such a grounded and genuine place.
Ladies, spend your discretionary income on a dietician and gym membership. Use them regularly.
She may be able to carry her weight well...for now. But as you age, that's too much weight to carry on your body frame. It's too hard on your back, your knee, your hips and your feet. It also forces your heart to work harder. This is for me too...190 on the road to 165 lbs.
She's a pretty girl, and you can tell she has a beautiful soul.If she wants to lose the weight, she can even invest in surgery. Not only will it make her lose weight. It will teach her how to eat correctly.
Surgery only works if you can remain disciplined with the smaller meal sizes. A good surgeon will ask you to drop weigh to be under 300 pounds too to reduce risk of complications.
Ashley you know that title would have everyone clicking. Smart 😊
Former mental health clinician here - Ashley has more emotional intelligence than anyone I've seen in a very long time. She is truly therapeutic in such a kind, almost maternal way. She's really going places and deservedly so....
She’s out of breath while speaking, that’s scary. I’m on the journey myself to lose weight, best of luck to her
Sorry I am a Caribbean man we generally prefer a fit female. Hopefully she can find someone
Maybe 20-30 yrs ago but fit is in in the Caribbean
cosigning this
Jamaican men would love her
Kevin Samuel’s would of had some honest words for her 😂😂😂
I was 210lb and that was so difficult on my body. Who the frickle is comfortable being 400lb? The strain it puts on your body… omg.
Baby girl skated, glided, zoomed and cruised around losing weight. I don’t think she really heard Ashley’s advice.
I don’t know why so many people are utterly in denial of weight and dating and how it affects their options. Like come on 🤦🏽♀️
A lot of our search comes down to the type we want don't want us back so we either change our type or change ourselves ..or you can of course stay on the merry go round.
I been around alot of Caribbean men. And they love beautiful slim natural woman. Caribbean man don't want that.
@Mellissa-f7i Right 😆😆, I'm half Caribbean and men still want you to be fit even if you're thick. Wanting an overweight person is PUSHING it. However, there's always exceptions..... 😮💨😮💨
@@rewbi2196 do you know the meaning of thick. You're using a word that's doesn't make any since. Caribbean men date slim beautiful woman.
@@Mellissa-f7iI do?? 🤨🤨 There's all kinds of Caribbean men, aren't there?? Some date slim women, some date women with a bit more weight on them (thick/chubby), but fat/obese?? Nah.
@@Mellissa-f7i Back in the days. And a lot still want a woman with meat on their bones...as they say. But idk if that big or not.
I'm from Caribbean parents and I'm like the only 1 in my family that likes and seriously date women her size, so it is what it is.
EXACTLY!
As a Congolese-Canadian girl, that African & Caribbean segment was false and borderline insulting… They love thick women not necessarily "plus size"
The advice you gave her was so refreshing and helpful. This is the way women should speak to each other ❤
Yes, you have to have a good Connection 1st. So im not mad at that for her dropping him. Its not just boring....its the Intagibles of it Ashley. The missing Connection of it. Thats the most Important factor of a good long-term relationship. FR
Exactly. Can't be with someone you dont connect with. If we dont connect all the materialistic stuff doesn't even matter to me
2nd caller you don’t want bath water ran you want him to pay the bills on time and without you having to tell him. He ain’t there! 🤷🏾♀️ Move on maam… speaking from experience!
@mogetit5999 Right she's wasting her entire time!!
To the 27 year old lady, be very very careful before you make a final decision. People change, idk what’s this “grew apart” comment. The person you was five years ago is not the same today. You cant expect to be the same! You work on who you both are while evolving. We got to think things over before severing ties in this dating market. These young adults dont have it the same way we did.
Agreed. He’s asking what can I do and is doing it. He’s making more money now. Make it work. Showing up each day is what matters. The feelings will return. It just worry.
Get off the internet!! Talk to people who know you and the guy in real life so they can tell you the truth of yourself too.
People need to have a habit of working out. There is really no excuse to not work out (unless your mobility is limited).
If her boyfriend watches this video, the relationship will be over. It doesn't seem like she's that into him anyway.
I love that Ash keeps it real!!!! Yes we know love yourself how you are …but you also have to be real with yourself. I hate that folks try to make her walk on egg shells because she’s honest.
Ashley, I'm sending you some patience! I know you have to detach to get through all the delusional people you talk to.
400lbs? U want a high earner??? 🤦🏽♀️Chile
Ridiculous
😢
The delulu is real 😂
Right 😂! This real life 😂! Stop it!!
The delusion
I have been watching you for a couple weeks. I think you’re amazing. I think you are giving women great advice, especially about putting themselves together. I had to make a comment because I absolutely love that You said you had a list and you will be following up with people. That is so professional and so thoughtful. I was like I think I wanna call her lol.
She is a plus sided influencer. She got her following based on that identity. It doesn’t seem like she wants to lose the weight. It’s part of her identity.
#2. If you tell this poor but good man go away for 2 years to get himself together he's likely to find someone that will take him where he is now and roll with him as they grow together. Be willing to handle that risk.
Exactly when I was with my x I was modeling and part time at gym by women’s standards I was broke , the irony is she was unemployed i helped her study for her career and would support her give money for her Uber when she got work she ain’t have a car , but I was broke studying IT and she cheated & dumped me in my birthday and lied about getting G🍇aped this was back in 2019 - lost that job due to depression I was late every day for like 8 months straight. I kept studying though
And met someone special I’m. Engineer now and became best tech in the city in 1 and year a half, I work for a global company I can move to the Philippines, DR or the UK and keep same pay rate I have here in New York. Funny women would still assume I’m not good enough I’ve never owned a car.
In my opinion women that are hyper materialistic, entitled, fat and won’t refuse to contribute or reciprocate men’s efforts they don’t deserve a high earning man heck they don’t even deserve a normal good man because they themselves are not good women they are selfish and only care about their own self interest. Anyways I finally found the one wedding next year a traditional black woman no kids and her parents still married about to make 39 years married life is good now but I’ll be honest I would never date a black woman again if it doesn’t workout with my fiancee. Too many bw are overweight and are baby mommas
It’s so unfortunate so many beautiful black women do not understand that being desirable means you must be physically fit. I have always be curvy but I maintain my shape through sports, walking and choosing work that I do not sit down ( I am a hostess). It’s a hard truth but it also helps you health wise to lose any extra pounds 🙏🏾
Lose the weight, level up your mind and looks and you will attract providers, I am a testimony 🙏🏾👑
I'm from South Africa, and "African men" here don't like obese women.
The second woman doesn't want to stay with that man but wants someone to convince her that she should and also tell her that she'll regret not staying with him. That's not where her heart is and that's not what she truly wants. She should just move on.
Hey I’m early these girls be wild child
Second woman is very intellectual and beautiful. She has to meet him where he is at. Look at the reality and not potential. I couldn't date anyone that I don't respect.
The callers hair is very pretty.
😅She came to Ashley's show to pick her brain and promote her channel bc she has all the answers and doesn't want to lose weight for herself, and Dream Man got it!!
As an African man proud of my lovely continent, watching this crap i feel offended that we are so misrepresented, by the green card bros, to the point that a 400 pounds low Qlty woman is pushed on us as if we are so desperate for this. I have never seen a 400-pound woman in Africa, and we African men don't want this. This is nonsense!!! What an insult.
The main issue most plus size women have is confidence. I’ve been married for 15+ years and my husband is the opposite of me in appearance etc but we’re a great match.…. This young lady is in the perfect state and city to find a quality mate so I’m confused why she’s single? I love the advice that was given but something is telling me she wanted to talk more about her career than love.
Are you 350+??? You maybe a smaller and more in shape bbw
You’re a woman. Men listening to her, without seeing her, could tell her personality is a turn off.
She has an excellent voice!! She is very pleasant to listen too!!
Thank you for giving honest advice ❤❤. This is truly refreshing!
Im South African and us South African women are amongst some of the most beautiful and beautifully shaped women in the entire world. Other African women (Tanzanian, Kenyan, Ghanian, Cameroonian, Congolese) are just as breath taking. Im VERY offended at this lady talmbout “there arent women like you in my village” as if us African women are unattractive village maids. Mam, are you sure those African men who approach you aren’t looking to secure some kind of visa through you? Because I can assure you, we are very beautiful and built well physically. 🫰🏽 (and also we live in cities just like you).
Yeah in south africa she wouldn't pull men like that. Men here are very specific, you can be chunky but only til a certain size and she's way too large for an average african village man.
Ashley girl! U look good asf! Let me keep taking care of myself!!
I need people in their 20’s to realize that 20 is young BUT you’re not a child. It’s very possible to have a degree, a car, a successful career and a home before 30. I cringe when people say, I’m ONLY 27 … like sweetheart, you’re basically 30.
Lose weight, put a lil face on …. Go on self dates ! She has a great personality! Hope the best for her ❤
ASH great Job in the second Lady Love it I think it’s falling apart naturally. He gotta go home, he gotta do that on his own and tell him A conversation need to be had and tell him respectfully
Sending prayers hugs and strength hope she’s able to find someone
i really like the first woman. i wish her the best.
No one could have given this woman advice except Ashley cuz the tough love in me would never said it the way she did lmao
The divorcee needs to get on meds and go back to work
And the 27 year old needs to let him go because the worst mistake BW make is dating down. 27 or not, never date a man who makes less than you. Even if it’s only by an extra 1000 dollars, the man should make more
Folks watch too many of these damn romance movies🙄 Stop giving up the culala, not married and then complaining that men objectify you and don't respect you🤔
People telling you that you don’t look quite 400lbs, Are basically saying You only look around 300lbs. Which is still unhealthy. This is gas lighting at its finest. Those people are not your friends. Unless they are telling you that you look healthy, it’s not a good thing. Don’t find comfort in that. Part of the weight loss is mental. It’s calling out the lies we’re telling ourselves. And definitely Don’t let people lie straight to your face. Not helpful. Anyone who coddles your current position is against your growth. They might mean well but they’re a distraction to your goals. This can be applied to any goal in life.
U can’t ever re-respect anyone
Man, she can talk.
Ashley you gave her the best advice. She an Africa or Caribbean man. I’m from the Caribbean and at 115lbs I’m always to small.
No. We dont want morbidly obese, out of shape, unshapely women. We like thick shapely small waisted women. 400lbs is not a thing you observe a lot in Africa quite simply because we can't afford to eat our way to that weight. Stop it
On behalf of African men, you are very wrong Ashley. We for sure like our women thick, but not morbidly obese and shapeless. African women tend to be thick but with a small waist. They have shape, not like amoeba. And for god sake stop stereotyping African men as the ougabouga type you've been exposed to on your American TV. Y'all really need to cut that out, get outside of that American bubble of yours and touch real grass. This conversation is giving highly ignorant and uneducated.
This is very scary, she looks exactly like my niece. She’s currently 18 and weighs about 300lbs and refuses to care about her health. I try my best to help her eat better and go to the gym. I hope she doesn’t end up like this young lady 🥲