🇳🇱😳🇺🇸 Culture SHOCK as an American in The Netherlands - Jovie's Home
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2019
- Hi, welcome to Jovie's Home!
In this video I'm sharing the culture shocks I experienced when I moved from the USA to The Netherlands. Please let me know in the comments what you think!
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My name is Jovie and I am a Mama to two beautiful children. I make videos about my life as a mother and everything that goes along with it (cooking, cleaning, organizing, tidying, grocery hauls, the laughs, the tears, the ups and downs and everything in between).
My goal is to create a supportive community for others where we can celebrate our differences as parents and learn from each other.
Thank you for stopping by!
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Dutch people are the best. I'm impressed by them more and more each day.
I agree! It just took me a while to get used to it and learn their customs and ways.
You are right. We are awesome! 😉
Hup holland hup laat de leeuw niet in zijn hempie staan.....geef mij maar Amsterdam dat is mooier dan Parijs.....als het lente wordt dan breng ik jou tulpen uit Amsterdam....waar de blanke top der duinen......
@@gert-janvanderlee5307 whahahaha grappenmaker 😂😂
Je heb wel gelijk 😜
@@JoviesHome Hey, I was born and lived in The Netherlands until I was 13, then lived in Canada for 30 years. Since then I've lived in 6 other countries, so I can commiserate with some of your frustrations, exasperations, and sometimes utter dumbfoundedness regarding how some things are done in The Netherlands, especially when it comes to us very particular, peculiar, and in many cases very stubborn Dutch people ;) I have found a great article on an expat website which, even though at a quick 5-10 minute read is not huge, has some very good and basic explanations for the differences in Dutch and North American culture. Please check out www.expatica.com/nl/about/culture-history/guide-to-the-dutch-society-and-working-culture-101736/, I'm sure you'll find it a very enlightening read!
B.t.w. this is the fist time I heard ANY American say that a European is loud.
Most of the time it's the other way around.
Hi Jodie, well, you are the exception, but it is well known that Americans tend to be loud.
Can we talk about Italians and Spanish people?
@@guidoferri8683 Oh my god Italians!
笑死
Nope, I agree with Jovie! When Dutch people are out in public or in a crowd are LOUD!
Be normal is more about don't try to be anything you are not, just be yourself. Don't change for anyone else. Normal is being true to your own values and norms...
Exactly until the authentic you falls outside the norms of society cuz then you better just adapt to everyone else 😉
Thats only half of it tho, Its, "Be your authenthic self, without being inconvenient to others."
I'm dutch, but have also lived in the US. A lot of the things you're talking about come down to the same thing... The dutch are much less concerned with 'presenting' themselves in a certain way. Not to criticize, but American friendliness, the having to be friendly for friendliness sake comes across as disingenuous, as an act. From the dutch point of view Americans tend to make a show out of everything, even themselves. For fun, compare Dutch and American facebook profile pictures. So dutch culture, to a degree, is more about 'keeping it real' than making it look good to others. Even the 'Doe maar normaal' is not about doing or being the same as everyone else as it is about not pretending to be something you're not. Its about not putting on a show. Similarly, in business, its about being professional, being good at your job, rather than presenting your self as a professional by dressing a certain way. Its not just that the dutch have less of a tendency to dress up for work, they also don't judge you for not doing it... nor give you points for dressing up. You're judged on how well you do your job. Ideally. In reality its not so black and white.
True. if you truely are extravagant then that will be accepted too. But there is this build in b@llshit alert in Dutch people, that can be set off at any given time. the instant general reaction is …. NOPE.
Love it. Just be real
I'm also Dutch, but lived in Canada for 30 years. I was REALLY wanting to comment on this video, and was wondering how to express what I was thinking. Glad to see that you answered this in the way that you did, because it describes my thoughts to a tee. "Doe normaal" doesn't translate literally into North American English and still retain the same meaning. It doesn't mean "be normal", or "try to fit in", although I CAN understand how someone from the US or Canada might think that. After all, generally speaking Europeans still retain a bit more of that "conformity gene" than North Americans do in general, in my opinion. Coming back to the "doe normaal" expression though, yes, Dutch people tend to be a lot less pretentious, and don't worry about the social graces quite as much. I'm sure that that is in large part due to the Calvinist influence from back in the day. As a matter of fact, I think that many of the differences between Dutch people and North Americans, those things that lead to culture shock for North American expats (and perhaps others), ARE due to the influence the Calvinist church had in the early days of our country.
For those non-Dutch people reading this, I found a great article which explains many of the issues Jovie mentioned in her video. Check it out for an excellent (and short, only 5-10) minute read. www.expatica.com/nl/about/culture-history/guide-to-the-dutch-society-and-working-culture-101736/
You couldn't be more right! I'm a Dutchy too and I have difficulty with the excessive friendliness and political correctness in the USA. Especially the "oh my gosh" or "oh my goodness" thing. That makes my skin crawl. We are very different from Americans but we try to respect everyone in their own right. But I also can imagine that our cultural ways are a complete shocker to Americans. We must seem so alien to them
works with a north german too, greetings to the Netherlands, coming thru next month on my way to Belgium and France enroute to Ireland, watch out for motorcylists... lol
American living in Netherlands. I really did not experience any of this. If anything the things I purchased or the things I wear were never criticized. One tip: learn from the Dutch directness and answer with directness instead of taking offense. "YES, I love Christmas and making it a special one this year" or "I love this shirt! What are you talking about!?" Dutch will respect this approach. Be different and dont feel insecure about it and you will do perfectly fine.
This is so true!
Why would you care? It annoys me to no end that people take everything personally and/or as an attack if opinions don't coincide and seem to be needing a safe space (what the hell is that anyway). Just answer the question if you feel so inclined or ignore it.
Listen to yourself: how often do you say "I'm not judging", "this is what I experience", "please don't get angry" ... If you want to integrate, stop beating around the bush, get to the point and say what you want to say. I would never speak like that.
This is how I normally speak, I’m not doing it to please anyone. I weigh the pros and cons and try to present different views to my audience who is mixd Dutch and non-Dutch. I’m “doing normaal” and being no one but myself in my videos. Funny to see how my softer approach is annoying to you. It’s exactly how I feel about people being too direct with their opinions (sometimes). It doesn’t mean I’m insecure just that I don’t see everything in black and white.
"I love this shirt. What are you talking about?" You couldn't have sounded more Dutch if you tried. Lol.
I'm from the netherlands and this is actually really accurate. Never thought about it but this is how a lot of people are :)
Its not ment as rude, honesty is just really really valued here in everything i think.
The number 3 is very easily explained. In the US the culture is, we are great, we are the best, we stand out, you stand out, be different, the sky is the limit, you can be whatever you want to be and do whatever you would like to do. Over here we are, we are all the same, you are not special, you are not more special or less special than your neighbour. You are you, like all of us. DOn't pretend to be more, less, better or worse. Act normal, that's hard enough for most humans.
The Dutch saying goes: Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg. ( Act normal, than you are crazy enough )
And as the clothing goes at work. Another saying, "Even if you put a peasant in a tuxedo, he's still a peasant"
Of course some jobs have clothing etiquettes, but for the most part we don't care about how you are trying to present/sell yourself as long as you do your job. You can be just as good at your work wearing jeans and air dried hair, than wearing a 3 piece suit. It's a close thing related to the number 3.
As we see it here, is seems that a lot of the US culture has to do with image, success, standing out, being on top and telling all how special you are. Were it seems to be really just a lot of fake smiles, fake image, fake personality.
We like people being who they are, not how some institutes want them to be.
You wear a suit when you are an insurance salesmen, a lawyer or when your dead :)
About the loud speaking voice.... We think that whispering is rude. If you whisper, you are saying something that I am not supposed to hear, so you could be talking about me ;)
Love the Chanel Jovie, keep it up :)
That is so truh😂😁. You say that so good
I could not agree more.
yay to all of these.... except. yay to jeans when you're dead too.
Spot on!
I agree
For me it is rude to ask questions without expecting a true answer like "how are you today".
yup … if you don't want to know … don't ask.
Ha ha. One time I collected the daughter off a friend from the school bus in North Carolina.
She told me that it was the polite way to say how are you to people already waiting at the bus stop.
When I said it to one off the mothers she totally unloaded on me how miserable her life was.
I was in total shock. I expected an fine, yourself?
@@dawnmaster68 But If you really want to know? Is it still rude? Or you use a different expression?
@@guidoferri8683… no it is not. if you DO want to know … just ask. in the Netherlands we have a saying. "vragen staat vrij." it ruffly translate's to you are allowed to ask anything. But IF you do. expect a real answer.
having sayd that the answer could vary from their entire life story to none of your ( fill in any modifier.) buissnes.
Why can't you give a true answer to that question?
Interesting, reading the comments below. I'm South African, living in the Netherlands for almost 30 years, so I do understand the subtleties within the Dutch culture by now.
1. Commenting on how much you are paying for a Christmas tree is rude in any culture. You were "unlucky" to have this person serving you and it had nothing to do with the Dutch culture as a whole. These (kinds of) exceptions you will find everywhere and, I dare say, also in the States. Generally speaking, asking or commenting on another person's financial status or habits is definitely frowned upon. The best thing to do is to be 'open' in your reaction and react with humour, sharing just a little about wanting to make Christmas special this year, as someone else also suggested.
2. Dutch lowdness: sorry, another exception apparently! ;-) I use the public transport often enough. I've had to listen to more American, English (stag party tourists), broken English/Spanish, conversations than I've ever had to listen to Dutch.
3. One-stop shopping: I suspect the Makro / Action suggestions don't quite make up for this lack. One of the reasons for instance, is the quality of the clothing at the Makro. The Makro is a wholesaler, indeed for businesses, but if you want to go for a decent shopping spree buying clothing, you really need to go to the speciality stores. Do your homework online first! Action does not sell food like at a normal grocery store, so there again, you will not find all you need/want.
BIIIIIGGGG is an American thing. Smaller, specialised and intimate is a European thing! ;-) Shopping is an outing, stopping in between to have a wonderfully warm and cosy cup of coffee or tea. I wouldn't swop that for anything.
4. The directness issue still confuses me sometimes. I tend to think that an open person would normally be direct. The Dutch are generally open, except for the normal really personal stuff. Maybe the idea that an opinion shouldn't be taken personally but is the view of the speaker adds to this tendency to be "direct" (see also point 6).
It's such a huge topic among foreigners, and the Dutch have gotten so used to being seen that way. However, there are a lot of nuances to that. The directness is not the same everywhere: the people in Limburg are different in their directness than the people in the very north of North Holland. City people are different from the people living in the countryside.
Basically, it's very helpfull to keep in mind that people do appreciate honesty and not beating about the bush. Say what you want to say. This does NOT mean being rude. I've met my fair share of rude Dutch people. They will never be my friends (I think that's an English translation of a Dutch expression, LOL!), but I am also aware that there are a lot of Dutch people who are mindful and well spoken. A matter, I guess, of upbringing and experience. The Dutch are generally well travelled, which is a good thing. I also suspect that people who have learnt to deal with a lot of (foreign) people in the workplace for instance, will be 'softer' and more aware of what they are saying.
5. Humour and just lightening up in general will go a loooooong way. The Dutch are great at making small talk, something which I admire and personally still struggle with in my own interactions. It's like knocking a tennis ball back and forth for a couple of minutes. The chat often just brightens one's day.
6. I've stopped defending myself and saying "sorry" for my opinions and views. The Dutch rarely take things personally. It's always about everybody having the right to their own opinions and, when asked ;-), I will give my honest opinion. If this results in a discussion and/or disagreement, almost always it's accepted that one agrees to disagree. If one doesn't want, or isn't prepared to hear an honest and maybe unexpected answer, one shouldn't ask in the first place.
Most English / American people in my experience are very evasive, and avoid saying truthfully what they think or feel. Hence the cliché example of the American "How're you doing?" without meaning that they actually expect (or want!!) you to answer it truthfully. I obviously recognise that tendency, having been brought up English(speaking) myself.
The Dutch are very real: Doe normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg... behave normally, then you are behaving crazy enough. This may also explain the relaxed mindset of the Dutch. Just be yourself, then you are just as wonderful, crazy, goofy, interesting, boring at times, as you need to be.
Phew!! I didn't intend this piece to be so long! I hope it's worth something.
Hey, im from Moldova and I've lived In sa for 7 years and now I'm going to the Netherlands. Besides the language are there any similarities between the afrikaner and Dutch culture?
@@airoHYT In my experience there are very few similarities.
The Afrikaners and the Dutch are both very open and spontaneous. Both cultures enjoy hanging out with drinks and bites and just sharing warm quality time together with friends and family: the famous "gezelligheid".
Bbq's (braais) are booming in the NL, but the weather is a challenge. Do not expect the type of meat you may have gotten used to in SA. Meat is very expensive in NL so people go for smaller cuts and sosatie type of dishes.
South Africans normally find this extremely funny when they come out here for a visit, and less funny when they come to live here.
If you have favourite South African recipes, do bring those with. Almost all ingredients can be found here.
There is obviously a mutual curiosity about and for each other due to the language and history connection.
But you will be shocked to discover that having an Afrikaans background is by no means a guarantee that you will understand Dutch.
The Dutch speak very fast and there are many different words in their vocabulary.
Also, the accents (many of them!) are totally different. Be prepared for that.
Generally speaking, life in NL feels totally different from life in SA. There are a lot of videos on RUclips about the Netherlands.
Keep in mind also, that Amsterdam is not representative of the whole country. Look up other cities and provinces too. Google Maps should be helpful.
As a Polish woman.. I wish everyone was as direct as the Dutch. I love it. It makes like EVERYTHING way easier! 🙃
I agree! I am American and I am direct. However it is not always received well.
@@goldenshepherd9858 That is all in the game.
@kathy levesque: You may find the reception to depend on the message content, on the way it was delivered, or on the combination. You'll agree that anyone holding a teapot and asking you "Tea?" wants a direct yes or no. And that "Shall I kiss you on the mouth?" may be received as an irritation or threat, even by someone who'd daydream of that kiss. As Ronald said in his reply: it's all in the game.
Me, I'm trying to find the best approach when asked for team availability on some weeks notice. The one compiling the list wants a yes or a no to assess if a team event can be scheduled - not some conditional remark about babysitting or whatever.
Note: there is an older sketch (in Dutch) by Herman Finkers using hand puppets on the "Tea?" question, and some interview (maybe with him, I forgot) mentioning that if somebody from the East of the Netherlands declines the coffee offered, you'd better put the kettle on (to make some).
Polish women are really beautiful. Too direct? 😊
I never know how REAL American friendliness is . It always seems as if they want to sell something.
I think the “ Doe normaal” is not about being like everybody else. It’s more like “You can stand out all you like, but don’t think you are anything special”.
correct it's actually: Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg.
meaning : Do as you do at home, everyone is allready unique
Cire Binregbin. Or, *Act as normal as you can, you’re crazy enough as it is* 😀
Must be a culture shock specially for american people. I don't like the alienating and conformative aspect of this saying. Of course we are all humans, but everyone is experiencing their own life's, so they have a right to feel like the star in their own personal movie, of course while remaining respectful with the ones around you
@@rsantana389true
Your constant apologizing for giving your opinion is very annoying to me, a Dutch person. we get it, you don't mean to offend...now say what you want! :p i like hearing your perspective of our country. keep it up.
I'm also Dutch and the apologizing doesn't annoy me one bit. Instead, it comes across as very friendly. But then, I'm from the South. :-)
The apologies seem a bit much, but don’t underestimate how quickly the comment section would rip her apart if she says something people disagree with.
@@koriliano7823 : Exactly!!
Agree P leone - and please stop playing w/ your hair. get to the point w/ less words. And I do like hearing what you share!
@@dottio3830 : You sound like a very nice person. 😒
Americans: I need small talk in my life
Dutch person: Having an expensive day today huh? Haha
Americans: I hate small talk in my life
I think talking about money is a taboo in America.
How about the weather BUT NEVER EVER ASK US DUTCH ABOUT OUR SALARY !!! that is plain rude
#2 sound like small take to me. It is taken as judgement.
@@claymountain1300 yes, in Canada too
I agree, it was probably just small talk, nothing more. You (Jovie) should have just gone with it, instead of overthinking it. Tell her that you just bought a house and it needed a new tree, just like it is. Or make up some funny story about where you got the money from. You know, smal talk.
We as a Dutch couple hate loud speaking people too. But go to the south, like France, Spain or Italy, and you will see that people are much much more louder than us. Like they are in a fight.
I totally agree. Check our neighbour countries. German sounds to me very hard to be honest. Arabic is also a language wich sounds very loud.
About that directness. I prefer that anytime instead of people being very nice and friendly in your face and then talking shit about you behind your back.
That doesn't always go hand-in-hand Gert-Jan. For example, people can have a completely nice/pleasant interaction with a stranger and then never think about them again (for example, greeting each other good morning when walking their dogs). I agree that it is awful to be nice to someone's face and then a jerk behind their back. The directness thing is more like knowing when to just not say anything at all, or times when sharing your opinion is not necessary (i.e., point 2 about commenting on how someone spends their money).
That kind of depends where you live. I grew up in a relatively small village (about 9K people) and people there would generally greet each other and sometimes have some small talk. Same thing in the supermarkets, people would usually make some small talk with the cashier or other people in line. Now that I live in the city I rarely see people do those sorts of things anymore and I'm honestly kind of glad that's the case, since I'm really introverted and always felt very awkward making small talk with random people.
@@JoviesHome That commenting on how someone spends his money is something I mostly notice with older people. Maybe that's a generation thing. My parents were both from a larger family. Both happy families but also kind of poor. So everyone had to work hard to feed everyone and there weren't very many luxuries back then.
@@JoviesHome Totally agree!
I think a better translation for "Doe normaal!" is "Be yourself". Don't act as someone you're not. Another nice Dutch saying is "Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg". Which means something like "Be yourself, that is already different enough". So, your culture shock points 3 & 5 (if I remember correctly) are somewhat related.
Doe normaal is niet helemaal goed uitgelegd. Wat wij als Nederlanders bedoelen, blijf dicht bij jezelf. Je hoeft je niet beter voor te doen dan een ander, je bent perfect als je jezelf blijft. Dat is iets wat ik juist raar vind aan Amerikanen. Het continu overdreven enthousiasme, het komt niet natuurlijk over en het irriteert mij na een tijdje.
Annet Jongsma dit gaat ze niet begrijpen hoor
Misschien moet je het in het Engels zeggen, dan krijgen ze het wellicht mee.
@@vanessaroos1379 😂😂😂
@@1qstudios Nee joh, dat komt in de vertaling vast erg direct over...
To explain:
The directness of me and my fellow Dutchies, comes from our curiousity. We do not beat around the bush. It gets things done quicker and that is why we were so good at trade.
Comments about how much money you spend mostly comes down to small talk. We don’t mean anything by it. Just to make conversation really. You should be flattered actually instead of feeling embarrased.
In my grandmothers time people where much more involved with the neighbours. People talked much more about each other than today.
About our appearance in the professional environment: it depends on where you work. And what type of job you do. I never see clients, so I am not expected to dress in a suit. Casual is fine. Your work should speak for you, not your dress. There are some clothing rules though: nothing too sexy, men are not to dress in shorts.
Our shops used to be specialised family businesses. The bigger stores are coming more and more. I personally love to shop, do this is not a problem.
The loudness depends on where you live. The Amsterdam accent is quite loud. While Limburg accent is much softer.
In the north the accent is quite rough compared to the south, but that’s because in the south it’s ‘de zachte g’ but we don’t have that...
As a canadian that has been living in the netherlands for 9 1/2 years, I can really appreciate your videos! Glad to know someone else has had similar experiences and feelings as me. 😊👍🏻
You should understand that although the Dutch all appear to speak English, it is their second language and they have difficulties expressing subtle things.
It would probably be the same when you speak Dutch.
In that situation, they may appear to be more rude than they intend to be.
I went to the USA just last month and I felt that American people speak very loud in restaurants and on the streets.
America is loud. Big cities in the USA are loud. Traffic, older rail systems. Noise is common. People speak above the street noise.
Dutch people do not bend over backwards for customers or the other way round ..... we do not like crawling and sucking up to others .... we want to feel and betreated as equals ...... I worked in callcenters for IBM and Citibank, both american companies, and I always had to explain to my american bosses that you cannot use the same text/ lines you use with american customers ...... if you are dutch or german and you call in with a computer problem, you do not want to hear at the end of the conversation “thank you for calling IBM” so you are basically thanked for having a problem ..... to us that sounds like sarcasm. Also, when a colleague had a good month he was being honoured with a picture on the wall as being employee of the month and he received a purple balloon on his desk?? We quickly go rid of that as well .... it is not highschool.
So yeah there are a lot of differences , but it gives you much more knowledge and makes you look at something in a different way, which is quite refreshing.
A colleague of mine who is Dutch works for Cisco and sometimes works with American colleagues or people higher up. They usually mention that allthough they had to get used to the directness of Dutch people, they have started to really like it because "when I ask how someone is doing in the US, usually you get an answer that basically everything is fine, but there are the little life problems. When I was actually asking how people are doing in The Netherlands, I am actually asking them how they are doing and they do not beat around the bus, if they are having a bad day or there is something wrong in the office, they will tell you, they will not say things to please their boss, which I really like, because you actually hear the things that can matter a lot in an office situation."
true … if you work in a team then it is Always a team effort. to then single out one person to congratulate them on a job well done is basicly the same thing as telling all the others … ": see… that's how well you should have done." … not good for the bulk of the people. even worse for the one singled out.
@@Dutch3DMaster indeed I agree! It is so refreshing to me to move to the NL for this reason. I really need after living in the UK over 7 years an honest perspective, which is not rude but always knowing when you stand out!
Hahaha unless you put the picture on the wall and give a big money bonus. Then the balloon can stay ;)
What I find "typical American" (from a Dutchman who lived in the US) in this clip is the way you're beating around the bush about the "directness" of the Dutch. Just say what's on your mind, we're used to getting a lot of comments especially from America (ever heard the Fox-network/Bill O'Reilly talk about The Netherlands, or somebody like Rick Santorum making up all kind of bullshit about our euthanasia-laws, or even your present ambassador talking about totally made-up stories about so called "no-go-zones" in The Netherlands....?)
ruclips.net/video/0V4U0dOax3Y/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/MBfkvWaSNKU/видео.html
Help ! I want out of the USA!!!
I’m from Thailand and the directness was really a culture shock for me. Thai people are way opposite from directness. They think before they say mostly and try not to hurt someone’s feeling. So it was really a hard time for me but I got used to it eventually and I love the way Dutch people are somehow. And yesssss the height was also a problem for a 160-cm tall like me 😂 Another culture shock for me is a Dutch birthday
I can't wait to experience a dutch birthday! Do you go to local clubs or joined somewhere to make friends? :)
I lived in Australia since I was 16 (now 84) I remember my mum saying Als je gewoon doet doe je gek genoeg. I hope that my dutch spelling is still ok.
How loud we speak!? Funny, we think the same about americans.
My brother in law is 6 foot 3 and when he took a trip to the Netherlands last year he bought so many clothes! He said a tall lean body type is quite the norm and all the clothes were as if they were made for him! Here in America most of the clothing for tall men like him are far too baggy.
OMG, your #2 is so weird again! :D Just like your video about being a 'criminal suspect'. Again, I'm Dutch and I would be VERY annoyed if somebody in a shop would comment on something expensive I bought. I'm telling you, thats not normal!
Just in general about Dutch directness: yes, we are definitely more direct than people in the English speaking world, but I also think that sometimes the confusion/shock comes from Dutch people not being able to get the nuance right when speaking English. I mean, when we speak Dutch to each other we're direct as well, but the exact choice of words and intonation does matter a lot. Otherwise it comes across just as rude as it would to other people. So even though most Dutch people speak (some) English, it's still a foreign language to us and I'm afraid some of us don't have the vocabulary to put in just that tiny bit of nuance that we would while speaking Dutch. It can make us come across as even more direct than we already are by nature.
And lastly, to combine two of your points... When the job applicants came in without make up, did you use some Dutch directness to tell them they should wear some in future? ;-) As a Dutch woman, I actually wouldn't be insulted by the directness itself, but by the fact that I would be forced to paint my face every day. I can understand your culture shock in that respect.
Dutch people have been direct for centuries, so I do think it is a cultural thing. People from other countries have always commented on this. They said: the Dutch are so blunt and rude. Someone who said that was the french philosopher and author Diderot in the 18th century. It is not always direct, sometimes it really is blunt or rude.
Finding fitting trousers for me, 165 cm tall, has always been a problem. I shortened them myself in the past. Nowadays it is easier because you have different lenghts to choose from. For instance at miss etam.
No make-up and letting your hair dry by itself: I thought I was the only one who did that.
The cashier was only trying to make conversation I guess. I wouldnt be bothered by this and would react very friendly with something like: Ja, leuk hè? (I said that also in answer to your question in another comment.)
When I was in Canada I saw these large shops where you can buy everything. That was a cultural shock for me. Way too much and overwhelming.
I love your video's!
I'm from México but my boyfriend is from the Netherlands and I must say that sometimes our cultures are too different which make our relationship a little harder but sometimes you make me understand him a little more :)
Hi Jovie.
I've been listening to your shocking experiences and wondered as a Dutch guy why we do things the way we do. At some point I remembered an interview with Jonathan Israel on Dutch culture. This man is a British scientist that has a special interest in Dutch culture because it is deeply founded in enlightenment. This interview can still be found on RUclips in three parts. (If you search in RUclips for "Jonathan Israel on Dutch culture" you will find it. The interview is in English, though there are some Dutch interludes.
One of the things that might interest you, is that even back in the 16th century people experienced culture shock in the Netherlands like you do now :-)) as mentioned in the video.
Since the Dutch revolt - which actually turned this place into the nation it is today - we still are a bit of a peculiar rebellious bunch. But a kind one, I hope.
Another thing to note, I think, is that this area has long been a very harsh environment with a lot of opportunities but constantly threatened by the sea. Consensus, 'poldering', discussions and debate and yes directness where a necessity to survive! I think that is still part of our DNA.
On behalf of the Dutch: Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable every now and then.
Haha thanks for this recommendation, I’ll check it out. I’m kind of a “professional expat”, moving countries every few years (but I hope NL is our permanent home). So I make these videos for fun and just highlighting the differences between places. I also experience culture shock when I go to the US! I have some videos about that planned 😉.
At the end of the day, NL is a clean, safe, stable, happy and wonderful country that I am proud to live in 🧡
Every single video I saw from people that don’t live in The Netherlands..
Everyone says that we (i,m Dutch) are sooooo direct
I’ve actually never realize that😂
Its normal for me
I am from Texas. I have Dutch ancestry. Obviously my family brought some traits over to the U.S. My family is blunt & loud. We are direct. We are also Texans too. We have great manners & we are very friendly. That helps to temper the directness. I believe just being yourself is the thing to do.
We are not loud though. Pretty sure there's consensus around the globe about Americans being loud as hell. We just don't act sneaky and lower our voices while being in public transportation. All a matter of being free (same with the job interview clothing thing - dress and be who ever you like).
We are definitely not loud though. Usually the Dutch really dislike loudness. From my experience.
Nice video! 😃
I’m Dutch and this is how I see #3: I think we do like people who ‘stand out’, but maybe in a different way. Being smart, being brave or having a great idea is very cool or sexy in my eyes. So it’s more what you ‘do’ than how you ‘look’ that makes you stand out.
But then again: I’m a lab technician and everybody wears jeans at work. I sometimes wear a dress and then colleagues ask me if I have a wedding after work. 😆 I think we - in general - should dress up a bit! Bye 🙋🏼♀️
Yeah most of us are really practical at clothes and dress really casual
Mae: een jurk onder een labjas? In the days of mini-skirts and hot-pants the lady lab techs shortened their laboratory coats with staples. It was a shock to see the rust traces after the washing. And now you know my age :)
I worked in the States for a while and found the "hello, how are you" and then not even listening to the answer extremely rude. Like "I have to ask but don't care at all". I would never comment on anybody's spending and I would certainly not like it if they would do it to me. I don't think that is something Dutch. The "standing out" part is a thing that I have now heard on multiple vlogs which I for one thought that we were really good at, you can always just be you but apparently we don't do so well. The Miss Etam and M&S have a petite line btw. The non make up and hair thing I love because to me, that is the ultimate "you can be you" and you can stand out instead of the (to me) "fake" world that some Americans live in. I would love to have a Target of Wallmarkt here, would safe a lot of time but I think that we are maybe to small for that or the mentality is different. I think that the loudness of a conversation is because you do not understand the languages. I found Americans extremely loud but I noticed that if I am in a tram and people are speaking Italian or Arabic, It sounds a lot harder because you do not understand what they are saying.
The provincial regulations do not allow hypermarkets or malls to be established in or on the outskirts of the municipality. They are afraid that it will compete too much with the inner cities. An example is Centro Mall Oberhausen in Germany. When Centro opened, the old town of Oberhausen turned into a ghost town. France does have hypermarkets, but the distances between villages and towns are much larger than in the Netherlands. In the Netherlands where ever you are, a supermarket/store can be reached within 15/20 minutes.I think we do groceries at least three times or more in a week. In the US, however, once a week, so I think it's more convenient to have all types of products under one roof. You have all products at home in one ride.
We had Hypermarkets in the Netherlands, but they sold it to AHOLD/Schuitema and they converted them into AHXL stores and C1000 stores, till Schuitema traded part of C1000 in to get free from AHOLD and AHOLD turned them into AHXL as well, since the buildings were to large for just AHXL, AHOLD put ETOS and GALL&GAL into it as well and rented out the rest of the space to other stores.
There is no law in the Nethlerlands that forbids those stores, when I was younger I worked at one of the hypermarkets which before they became A&P Hypermarkt.
Hi Jovie, love your channel! On the one stop shopping: this is due too the extensive planning regulations we have, that also make for the extreme orderliness you mentioned in one or your other videos. The Netherlands were largely designed on the drawing board. Planners wanted 'living' city centers, so big stores or malls outside of the cities with large parking facilities were not planned. On the outskirts of cities there was room planned for big stores that need a lot of space like Hornbach or the famous ' meubel boulevard'; but this is totally restricted to stores that need that kind of space for the products they sell, and only for those products. I will be travelling to Bruxelles tomorrow and I love looking out of the window and noticing the difference upon crossing the border, as you mentioned yourself. That kind of experience is the best illustration of the effect of central planning.
I'd say the comment on the christmastree wasn't meant to reflect any judgement on you. It's for you to take it however you want. When people say something like that to me I'm like "hell yeah! I saved for this tree, I'm gonna pay for this tree and you won't believe the amount of tinsel I'm going to put on it and it's gonna be awesome!!" Then again you could react with an "it's a special time for us" or a "yes it is." If they're judging you that's unprofessional but most likely they're just surprised and/or looking for a chat.
I was surprised by the comment from the cashier until I started to think on it some more. The translation probably threw me a little, because I realized similar comments are often made by cashiers or customers when they buy a lot of clothes, furniture/decorations or other "luxury items" (i.e. not groceries) and customers will often say something like "yeah, I'm treating myself", "Having a shopping spree", "ugh, yes, it's costing me an arm and a leg (or, "een rib uit mijn lijf"). It's not a judgement, just an attempt at conversation, which I prefer over "hello, how are you doing today on this fine day, will this be all, or can I be of further assistance, I hope you will shop with us again" in a super cheery voice with a prodent smile...
I don’t think she had an opinion on the amount or purchases whatsoever. She was just trying to be friendly and make small talk. It’s as meaningless as “how are you”.
Big-Box stores are banned in the Netherlands. The largest store you'll find is probably Makro, but you need to be registered at the Kamer van Koophandel (Chamber of Commerse) to shop there as it is a store for businesses.
Standing out is fine in Holland but I guess ppl don't appreciate to stand out by the way they dress and consider that a bit shallow and bad taste. Standing out by the way you act is appreciated though. The do normal thing is a bit different then you explain it. The saying is: Act normal please in your case that's crazy enough :). Loud conversation in public places is considered as kind of a lack of education. It's not 'normal'.
Yes. Act normal is more like act normal, just be you, you dont have to act crazier than you are.
And i like people how have a different style. That i dont want or dont dare to were but really like on them and think its cool.
About the jeans part: sometimes my mom makes my jeans shorter because the jeans in the store were to short or to long so i take the longer one and bring it to her. Sometimes jeans shops make them shorter for like 10 euro or something. Of you can go to a 'kleermaker'
What's great about the netherlands in my opiniom is that you can be whoever you want to be, yes you might be judged more if you stand out but who cares, you can do whatever you want aslong as it doesn't affect others
You can find petite sizes at Miss Etam, BonPrix, Dorothy Perkins (online, shipped from the UK) and I believe Zalando too.
There are also some petit items now in the H&M webshop!
I'm an expat vanuit Venezuela maar i was already expecting everything this country had to offer, which is precisely why I went to live here, for the culture.
Bruhh is it 'Dutchglish' that you have written? 😄
@@toniangelo555 ja joh 😂
I moved from Texas a couple years ago, it has been very interesting trying to understand the Dutch culture ,I can rely to some of the culture shock things you have experienced. The Dutch are not comfortable with expending money or telling if they bought something expensive ,they are more proud to tell you when they bought something very cheap or with a discount .I work in a nice place, and my coworkers do not even make an effort to brush their hair, the make up and looking presentable is for going out .I found making friends in this country very challenging ,everyone is too busy with ridiculous agendas and no one wants to make time for real friendship anymore. The Dutch language is very difficult so much than, the Dutch themselves can spell or write properly: apparently everyone here suffers from some form of dyslexia..... furthermore, if you try your best to speak the language they will immediately talk back to you in their coal English.. The bad service in stores and restaurants is just something that still amazes me to this day, The Dutch to this will tell you in The United States the service is fake .... so ,you will never win this argument with them. Lastly , the bitching and complaining about the weather is probably the most annoying thing, obviously when you have no other serious real problem to bitch about ,,complaining about how much rain or the lack of sun is the only thing makes their lives miserable. Lastly ,in a work place ,if you are an expat you will never be appreciate it ,specially if you are working with women ,regardless if you have a higher education ,they always think they are better ,know better, their way is better....this is how I describe my work experience in this country- work as much as you can ,in the less time possible -with the minimum amount of money ...and under the highest stress possible. Have a great day . Bibi
There have been many attempts at hypermarkets (one-stop shops) in the Netherlands but they’ve all failed, it’s just not the way the Dutch like to shop. Probably the closest you could get to a hypermarket is the Makro retail chain, they offer a wide range of products; from food to clothing to electronics. But generally to shop there you would have to prove that it is a ‘business related expense’ as Makro is not intended to be consumer oriented. You’ll have to look into how to get a Makro card because it really is a quite convenient way to shop, particularly for many French and Americans.
The reason why hypermarkets and large shopping malls never came to prosper in the Netherlands can partly be explained by the very strong political protest movement against the destruction of our inner cities, most notably the resistance in the Amsterdam Nieuwmarktbuurt in de seventies of the last century.
It depends on the region you live, We had a hypermarket store since the 70's till early this century it became AHXL, since people didn't shop there.
We had one for decades...V&D
In the good days they sold everything...kitchens, clothes, books, furniture, electronics, lamps, you name it, they had it. And a supermarket in the cellar....
For the dutch a question like"hi ,how are you doing?" it is not so much about how you present yourself as being friendly,but more for it's genuine motive of being really interrested in your state of well being. According to what kind of answers follows ,the next phase could be "I am sorry to hear that,how can i help." Which is really a genuine offer. Showing that kind of interrest is more appreciated as just being friendly. It is about taking notice of someone.
As I have noticed in the States it is more of a courtesy, where there isn't an expectation of getting a real answer back other then "hi, I am great and you?" which oblige the persons in that conversation to find new topics to talk about. The genuine interrest in someone's well being is taken away from the question,the question renders merely as a function of a courtesy.
As dutch people are known for their openess and directness,there is a big possibility that the question is answered in a genuinely manner about one's well being.
I agree with you! As an American, I feel I'm ignored when someone asks 'how are you', and I reply honestly 'i've been better, tough week' for example, and they carry on to the next thing, as though they never even asked! It is a formality, but I am only coming to realize this now at age 52. No wonder I've tried to leave this country so many times before, feeling I don't belong here. About directness - I just happen to be very direct, and it pisses most of my friends off. Guess that 's why I single. BUT - I love directness! I have a Dutch boss. I thought it funny how when he had to go pee, he just bolted mid conversation and didn't do the typical american "sorry" or waiting for a chance to interject and leave for the lou. Are you kidding me! He's been a great boss, though I hope he isn't becoming infected with american juice. we are spoiled and deserved the downfall that's coming by voting for orange lunatics.
@bann him: It is told that under Stalin, people would greet each other with some "How are you today?", and that the reply might be "Thank you. Better than tomorrow!"
Wait what ???? Dutch people talking loud???? has the world been reversed?? Americans are known to be loud
Actually it's true for both.
@CrIMeFiBeR: In my experience, many (but definitely not all) Americans are loud, and a large minority of the Dutch are loud. A "great" place to observe this are Silence compartments in Dutch trains. "Loud" both by "hard of hearing" and by "hating silence".
Well it also really depends where you come from and in which environment you find yourself in.
Coming from New-York for example, being in the art-scene
people immediately embrace Dutch directness and find it mostly liberating.
Ofcourse history plays a role in itself. Being the first independant republic in Europe ,
lower class people play a significant role in society.
Where as other countries stayed under the rule of royalties .
It took almost 200 years until France became the next republic (as well as the USA.)
This kind of society went on and delivered a kind of more open and direct approach in life.
Being a Dutchman whith a
touch of charm and politeness,
😉I find your video's nice to watch
and subscribed
I’m Dutch and I hate it when people are super loud in public, like, tone it down a notch! Especially in public transport. I generally find myself a seat in the silent carriage of the train, 90% of the time somebody will be making noise. It’s either old people talking to each other (who are apparently above the rules because they are old?), tourists who can’t read the “silent” sign (which is also in English), children who can’t behave (well done parents... 🙄) or young people talking over their weekend over the phone. It pisses me off so much 🙈
I started noticing the sound difference in conversations when i moved abroad. I think that the dutch language really puts emphasis on some parts of the word and sentences, which if left out can really change the meaning of something. Thus if you dont emphasise it the word/sentence would not be clear to the person listening. In slavic languages for example, you can comfortably converse with each other on a lower tone and still get every word and meaning of the sentences because of how the langauge and pronounciations are made up.
As being 1.83m as a female I can tell you theres more shops selling clothes for shorter people (Miss Etam, River Island, Zalando) than tall people.. Dutch people are overall taller but real tall people like me struggle really hard finding clothes so that'a not really true.
1.83is not really that tall for a woman though. Both my mom and plenty of girls in my school are 1.83 more than folks under 1.65
Agree, I am not even that tall for a Dutch girl (178cm) but I need to look very hard to find some jeans that are long enough. Thank god the recent trend is to have some shorter jeans with ankle showing. XD
I know a girl who is 190 cm. She wears clothes. I don't know where she gets them.
1.83 is not tall for a adolescent girl or young woman in the Netherlands.
I can sympathize with some of this - I’m 1.93 (6’ 4” or so) which is not *that* tall over here, but I’m also, well, fat, to go with it. And I wear size 51 ish (US size 15) shoes (and I might need to go up - my left, bigger, foot has been having squished toes lately).
I do not have huge selection of shops.
That's really the first time I'm hearing from an American that Dutch are loud. Mostly the Dutch say the same thing about Americans. Maybe the reality is in between and are people more observant at watching other cultures, especially when they hear another language.
jhcfight Hey, that’s what I came here to write. 😉
But I have to add that the Dutch version of Nederlands does actually sound quite harsh and throaty. Like on your sound system : you can have disco at 7, but for punk, level 2 is more than enough. 😂
I’m dutch, but spend a part of my childhood in the USA (age 10 till 13, so went to elementary and junior high there). I really enjoy your videos! I had my share of ‘reverse’ culture shocks when my family moved there. It was hard to make friends, for example, because I didn’t have a Nintendo or other materialistic things. Children there where quite brutal to me because I was so different. However it was an amazing learning experience which has helped me the rest of my life!
I still miss the one-stop shops to this day, over 30 years later ;-). Sorry but there isn’t such a thing here. However a quick drive to Germany will get you to those kinds of shops (Don’t know how far away you are from the border).
About looking the same, or not standing out, we do have a saying about that, yes. But that’s pretty old-fashioned! It’s perfectly ok to stand out! At least in my part of the country (Holland aka: the provinces of north/south holland).
About the people talking loud, perhaps some of them want to be heard, but it’s more likely our harsh language, combined with a general lack of caring if others hear you (privacy). It’s part of being open, not having anything to hide. Either way keep up the good work, I enjoy it!
(Edited for readability, sorry :-))
C&A do short sizes for both women and men ! Pants / slacks / trousers come in "K" sizes (K being short for Kort, Engl. short) . If I'm not mistaken, they also do "long sizes" (don't remember if that is called L, short for Lang ), because I am 1.59 and I also buy for my mother who is 1.55. If necessary, I have them shortened there, takes a few days. They do a very good job, I paid 8,00 eu. to have a pair of slacks shortened.
It sounds like you live some where in the north of the country.
In the south, communication is much less direct.
Actually in the West (The two provinces Noord- and Zuid-Holland) people are the most direct. In the north (Friesland, Groningen and Drenthe) people are definitely not that direct as well as people in the east and south. I can give many examples where westerners misunderstand northerners. The mentality in the north is different, not so direct, not so loud and not so self-confident ( I was struggling to find the right word without insulting westerners, cause that is not my intention, I love to spend time in beautiful Holland and have very good friends there). But that self-confidence comes across to a northerner as very arrogant. Most northerners without a lot of contacts with westerners will consider them to be blaaskaken (windbag, boaster: overexaggerate, arrogant and thinking they are the best). That is not right in my opinion because they are judging people then without actually knowing them but then again westerners do the same about northerners. For everyone that visits or stays in the Netherlands, do not think that there is only one type of culture or mentality. There are regional or even local differences. It can even be different between neighbours or within families. The social agenda planning is not that strict in the north, people may come and ring your doorbell unexpectedly or even enter through the backdoor, especially in smaller towns and villages. And you will not be told to go away, we will invite you in, offer something to drink, the visitor will ask if they came at a bad time and then a northerner will be direct in a very polite way by saying for example: well I wanted to go to this or that but I can do that another time, I really like you stopped by or if they had really planned something say: sorry lovely to have you here but I am supposed to be at a certain place at a certain time but we can have a coffee together and let us plan something soon. No one will be offended. As for the awkward situation when someone is visiting or just without a set date dropping by and it is almost dinner time, a lot of northerners ( not all ) will ask you kindly and welcoming if you would like to stay for dinner or actually surprise you by saying dinner is ready and I have just made some extra cause it would be great if you would join us or even change their dinner plans and say they will order something from a restaurant and save their cooked meal for another day. But then again it is not common for everyone. But it will be less awkward. So just ask more than just one person about Dutch or regional culture and you will find out there are differences. Then again from my experience this is quite similar in other countries and cultures. There is an overall culture but with many differences. As for the name Holland for the whole country, people from the north and I am sure also from for example Limburg, will not be angry but we do prefer it if you call our country Netherlands. We understand why the name Holland is used a lot because of history and contacts in the past, even a lot of northerners might use that name when speaking to a foreigner, but we are not from Holland, we do not consider ourselves to be Hollanders, we are Nederlanders and Frysian, Limburgian or Drentian for example. I guess the same applies to the Welsh and Scots from the United Kingdom. They would not really appreciate it either if you would say they are from England.
I was quite surprised at #s 5 & 6 in particular: the exceedingly business casual attire and grooming, and the lack of one-stop-shops.
#1, #2, #3 and #5 are probably all highly related to the historically prevalent Calvinism, and although most Dutch people aren't religious anymore Calvinism is still deeply rooted in Dutch culture. That and that there is a long egalitarian tradition, this is also partly due to Calvinism which makes it clear that succes does not make you a better person but is something you should be ashamed of and if you want to go to heaven you need to live a frugal productive life, because of that people don't feel hesitant to be critical to a more successful person or superior. And flaunting your wealth is highly frowned upon.
Another part of the egalitarianism has to do with The Netherlands being historically a country of merchants and traders, it was very common when these merchants were away (trading abroad) that their wifes would conduct the business at home, which included doing finances and trade-deals with men. (I'm talking about the 16th/17th century) This was pretty extreme for the time, and Dutch women were known all over Europe for being "rude", and "not knowing their place".
Eise Baerends Calvin was French. don’t understand this thing of always putting every thing to Calvinism.
@@SilverRose253 our first Republic, from 1581 to 1795 was basically a civil theocratic confederacy with the Dutch reformed church being the one official state church and pretty much the basis for all civil life, administration of births, marriages, burials, organisation of the militia etc. as a sort of proto-democracy, for all Dutch citizens who weren't Jewish, who had their own, comparable civil "infrastucture" and were very much included in the nation's affairs. (Basically you were either Christian or Jewish in those days) To the present day, our word for municipality "Gemeente" is used for local civil administration but the word really means "congregation". As far as organisation of our country goes, very little has changed over the last few centuries when you look at the basic structure. That structure was suggested and first practiced in Geneva, when Calvin instructed the townsfolk on how to run their affairs in a Godly way. (Das Reich Christi im Städle Genf) The influence of this church, which was truly a "people's church" was huge and everywhere and this church adhered to a solid Calvinist theology. In that way the "calvinist culture" saturated society and although we gave up the idea of an official state religion in 1795, the Dutch reformed church and some of it's spinoffs, even the modern day PKN (Dutch protestant church) are on a broader spectrum as far as theology goes (although mild Calvinism still is the norm within Protestantism in The Netherlands). Like Eise said, most Dutch aren't religious (or at least not church goers) anymore but we held on to the best bits of the Calvinist, Reformed culture. We like humbleness, frugality and being plain, modest even and we mixed that with humanism and a pretty good dose of enlightenment ideals. This goes so far that it's actually not an impossibility to run into deeply believing, bible thumbing, anarchy-socialist gay married pastor with adopted kids. And it's actually not so easy to find a Dutch person who has serious issues with that. If he's a good preacher and sincere, most of us will respect that and that goes for the believers as well. So, in essence, we're still Calvinist protestants in our ways, less religious but certainly not less moral and we managed to hang onto our culture that came about during our 80-years war of independence. And, of course, as proper Calvinists we would never dare show how proud we actually are of that ;)
Dutch people are direct. But you have direct people or really direct people (how say everthing and sometimes to straight to the point than is good). I like directness but in average form
About the 1 stop shop. We had a department store called V&D (Vroom & Dreesman) and when I was a kid it was even bigger. That was the closest we had to a 1 stop shop. It also had a supermarkt. But it wasn't selling enough. And because of online shopping V&D disappeared completely after going bankrupt. I guess 1 stop shopping just doesn't work here.
YES! I remember V&D. It was also a bit of a "middle ground" between the cheap shops and super poshy ones like De Bijenkorf. I still miss V&D (yes its online but its not the same).
@@JoviesHome No, the online shop is completely different and much smaller company. But the store I know was twice as big in the 80's.
Oh en dank je Daan dat je het volume van de tussenstukjes wat lager hebt gezet. Was nigal vervelend ondat Jovie vrij zacht praat dat er dan zo ‘ n harde tune doorkomt. So thanks !!
If you want a one stop shop, you have to get to shops like Makro. This is a shop where you buy your business supplies, and it has it all, cloth, electronics, food, appliances whatever you can think of. One catch, you need a Makro card and for that you need a business registration at kvk
I really hate fakepoliteness. If somebody says "Hey how are you doing? How was your day?" But that person isnt really interested because its just the way they say it. Then please dont say it. I love the straight directness of the Dutch. Oh and i love your videos! And thats not fakepoliteness but i really mean it!! ♡
Why we are direct is probebly because our parent told us from a young age to not lie about ANYTHING, so we are just really honest and direct, because we don’t wanna lie, there is like a dutch sentence: beter de hele waarheid dan een halve leugen
That means: better the whole truth than half a lie. I hope this helps you understanding our directness 🤗❤️
Actually that's ethically very good attribute..
I'm Dutch and to strangers the whole "Hey how are you doing?" Rarely happens around me. With people I know, or know through someone else... It does happen a lot. Usually even when you want to ask a simple question you ask them how they are doing! Sometimes it makes me feel awkward always having to start a whole conversation before asking my question. If I don't do it I feel guilty!
The Dutch are straight forward or direct until the come across a Caribbean person😂🤣 we are 5x more direct, we don't sugar coat anything. Moving to the Netherlands made me realised that I had to was way too outspoken or direct. My Caribbean friends have also experienced that.
I am Dutch and i also think it is strange ti say something about what someone spends. But I have never experienced or done that !! I cannot even imagine!! And the ‘ rude thing’ you mean that in shops or so they don’t say hello hiw are you or how is your day ? I miss that too when i come back from holiday in the US. Other rudeness I don’t recognize. And I am also short1.60 and rather tiny too. So I make al my clothes myself and have a sewing channel too teach others !! You could try the child section. I did that often.
Something totally diffrent: I follow other people from the US that now live in the Netherlands. And often the speak Dutch now and then on their channel. Would love to hear that from you too!! If you are comfortable with it. 😁
I am a 67 year old American. I was never raised to "stand out and be different". I was loved and supported by my parents, and encouraged to care about other people, not just myself.
That's funny, the culture shock that Dutch people are loud, cause I feel it's the way around. When I was in America I found everyone was talking with a lot of volume and also in Amsterdam you can hear the American tourist from miles away.
I just watched this video about Americanism and they say the same (at 8.17) : Americans don't use their inside voice burn rather talk loud. ruclips.net/video/K1HxW5vc_lU/видео.html
Its a culture shock to me that casual and no make-up is a culture shock to you. :D
Natural and being yourself and feeling comfortable and confident with yourself is bliss. I would personally view it as a bonus.
a part of the stuff that you are saying is also a thing do to the region you live. If you would go outside of the Randstad and in to the provinces you will notice that some of those things will be less intense.
Being likable or pleasant with lowering your volume and speaking silently asking “how are you” in a for us dutch ‘American way’ doesn’t feel sincere. We dutch are realistic and straight forward. It’s simply not possible to say “Woow, your great”, “Your so amazing”, “I totally love what your doing” or even “Love you” within the first minutes of meeting each other. If you genuinely mean those things you need at least get to know each other a bit better.
We have a saying “Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg” it means be yourself, act normal don’t, that’s enough. Americans in general always feel the need to be polite to a point it’s more an act than real. It’s probably got something to do with if your not you have the chance getting sewed 😂
Be yourself and it’s really no problem not smiling every now and then and speak your mind in all situation. It feels so great to be yourself and not putting on an act thinking i have to be super nice and interested because the other would probably want that from me. That’s simply not true, we like the genuine Jovie who can be grumpy sometimes and speaks her mind without thinking about others reactions or want’s to be a ‘pleaser’
You will do just fine i am certain about that! Love your vids!
Groceries, you'd have to buy in grocery stores. Big apartment stores such as HEMA will offer you a huge variety of things from kitchen appliances to clothing to paint, but for fresh food that quickly expires (non-processed meats, veggies, fruits) you'll have to go to a grocery store. For everything else, you can buy it at HEMA
If people feel comfortable they tend to work harder/better/more efficiently. People tend to feel more comfortable in their own choice of clothes. Litterly everything in the Netherlands is based on efficiency. Directness is efficient. Honesty is efficient. Our money saving? Efficient. We invented "de pannenlikker" to get even the last scrap of food from the pan. Even our infrastructure. We are a small country with a relative huge population compared to the its size. Our biggest export product is the knowledge. Everything in this country would be long collapsed if we wouldn't think like that. We're always trying to be more efficient in everything. We were the first with women rights, why? Because if women work too, the country can double its efficiency. You would be surprised at most people's timetables. This country is OBSESSED by efficiency. So now you know. :)
Very true, but the women's rights example is poorly chosen. Women got general suffrage only in 1923. The Netherlands was the last country in Europe to do that. But I think you refer to the fact that women were allowed possessions as early as the 17th century (but only if unmarried). And women were literate in the 17th century here as well, which was unique. In that, the Netherlands was the first. But it was (again) the last to abolish the rule that women needed to be unmarried.
@@ronaldderooij1774 oh thx, so I did read only about half the truth. My bad, I should double check the sources more thoroughly. I learned something from you today. Fact stays, we Dutch people love efficienty :D
@santanisme: On efficiency: our Dutch time management may be an example. If you should watch train drivers' videos, go count the clocks you see at railway stations in different countries. The Netherlands could share 50-50 with Greece and still beat Germany, I think. But also our personal lives - and I have yet to encounter that in an outsider's vlog: visiting friends or relatives without an appointment is "not done", at least in Holland (the two densely populated provinces in the West of the Netherlands), and having dinner is not included by default - but once you have a "time slot" that includes dinner time, you'll be the focus of attention, and the meal may be tweaked to your taste and appetite. And the "one cookie" rule seems obsolete.
Note: people of Surinam origin (and maybe many others) tend to keep their fridges crammed, just in case you drop by.
Hi Jovie, I don't know if anyone else commented on the pants, so I'll share. At Miss Etam and C&A they sell pants that are "Kort" (short). For example at C&A you can find the size "42K". They don't have a special petite selection, the clothes are just where the rest of the regular sizes are being displayed. Also, at Peek&Cloppenburg and de Bijenkorf, I know that they sell certain brands that have different length sizes too. Maybe you could ask there. I think I've heard you say in another video that you live around Den Haag, these tips are coming from a local, so I think they should be helpful!
HA the sizing for jeans has been a relief for me, in America, I had the hardest time finding jeans that didn't rise up past my ankles!
C&A does have pants for shorter people. Usually there is a k next to the size. The k stands for kort (short), sometimes it just says short next to the size.
Thanks! I'll have to keep my eyes open for this!
@@JoviesHome Wehkamp also sells C&A clothes online.
Jovie, I love how you presenting the native "Dutch" people, customs and so on. I think that youre video's can and probebly will help people from outside the EU.
I am self a born an raised Dutch guy but I understand youre video's, not easy to come to the Netherlans unprepaired.
"do normal" is not be like someone else but be your self do your hair your clothes your makeup the way you want it and feel comfortable with it. do not perform a play, do normal and be yourself. So that someone else knows what you stand for.
No when Dutch people say that you should act normal they mean exactly that. People here in holland allways say that you should be yourself but when you really do behave different from the rest it is frowned up on. Independent thinking is not something the Dutch are known for.
A One stop shop could be Makro. It’s generally more like Sligro in that it’s meant mostly for restaurants and offices where they can get supplies in bulk. It always feels a bit American to me. My family shops there about once a month!
People dont have to fake liking you in order to get tips to survive, i think thats a huge part of it. Love your videos keep making them!
We have the 'Makro' store. You can get pretty much everything there apart from building materials. It is mostly for businesses though so a lot of things will be sold in larger quantities. (for example a box of 50 kroketten instead of 4, or a package of 12 tubes of toothpaste instead of 3 or 4 tubes). Also, no fancy clothes, just functional.
first of all i wante to say that i really like your vids, i just started watching them as a dutchman but i like your point of view.
As for the loudness when people talk that different here in Groningen so i must sa there are some culture differences between the provinces aswell.
For a example i have been working near utrecht for a while and the say i have a loud voice there but here i the north the say i speak i little soft so a bigg difference there.
Keep up the great work i will be enjoying your vids.
I usually notice this on public transport too when I'm traveling north to west or vice versa. But, I also quite often notice one couple/group talking in the bus or train in the north but that's because all the other people are quiet, so there's no other noise to drown them out.
On the make up/dressing up thing. You can see differences in classes despite this effort of the Dutch to make everyone seem equal to one another. Look out for it. It's a fascinating thing to study.
@cizlerable: Definitely fascinating! But we're about equivalence rather than equality. (A confusion started by George Orwell in "Animal farm"?)
Great moment in Monty Python's "Life of Brian": this crowd shouting "We are all individuals!" and this individual saying "I'm not."
I enjoyed this! Looking forward to part 2!
I find it funny that a lot of Dutch people here are trying to defend the 'doe maar normaal' saying and explaining it actually means 'be yourself'. As a Dutch person I very much find that there is a high expectation and pressure to conform to the general way of thinking and acting. People will literally frown and say things like: really? is that normal? when someone would share a bit more of an alternative opinion. The sad thing is a lot of Dutch people think they're open minded while they actually have a very particular way of thinking and don't like to be confronted with other ways of thinking which will result in them saying: doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg.
I've even heard teachers say this about elementary school children when a child wasn't really conforming to the way they wanted.
Of course this is true in many other countries, they will have a specific culture and a specific way of thinking aswell. But I think from what I've seen the US is a bit better at appreciating differences. For example when I compare Dutch and American talent shows on tv, American people are much less pressured in changing their way of acting or dressing on these shows.
Of course there's things to like about Dutch people. I personally like a bit of directness and honesty. But to be honest... as a people, we're not that open minded. So let's not pretend.
@ScarlettVK Glad someone agrees with me ;) Yes I'm very grateful to be born here aswell! But as a child I had a really hard time trying to fit in and to conform to expectations. I've now realised I don't need to try at all of course and I can just be myself. I guess this could've happened anywhere but it's kind of ironic to hear so many people say: we want you to be yourself, while I definitely didn't feel like I could, most of my life.
I find it interesting that a lot of ideas from Dutch people are so contradictory. Like you said with the complaining and being superior. It's the same with equality and freedom. Which are both important values but there should be a balance in my opinion. It seems to me a lot of people nowadays don't understand this and only want more and more equality while at the same time calling it freedom. It's scary.
I’ve traveled around the globe for the past months and I can tell you that Holland is one of the most liberating and accepting countries you will find in this world. Sure we’re not there yet, but I really hope that you don’t take the immense freedom that we have in our country for granted. As a young Dutch woman I feel like this is one of the few countries in the world where I can do anything I want and be respected for it. I think it’s amazing to be able to be critical towards yourself and your country (as you are being). The people in my surroundings have always been able to do that. To say that Dutch people contradict themselves is obviously a generalization. To say they are open minded obviously is too. But the huge freedom that we have in this country is undeniable. Again I love that you are being critical towards your country, but I hope we can agree on the fact that we’ve got a pretty good thing going on in Holland :)
@@Loveekaty Of course I'm very thankful for the freedom we have in our country. You are right, I'm totally able to do whatever I want, which in many countries might not be the case. But that doesn't mean that people are always accepting me for the way I am or the way I do things. Especially when I choose a more alternative way of living and thinking. Of course I still have the freedom to do it (however this is not even always the case), so yes I should be appreciative of that.
But I was mainly commenting on the saying: "doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg". And pointing out that this saying is something people mean and use quite literally, while a lot of people in the comments are trying to explain or defend it differently.
Of course I can't generalise but you can't either in saying the opposite ;). I did that just to make a point.
I really likw your videos I am dutçh myself but have a lot of American friends I like to comment on your Doe Normaal attitude that most people have over here.
It's not about the way you look it's how people behave. If people are very outspoken, very confident/arrogant in combination with very exorbitant styling or clothes than a lot of people will give you the cold shoulder.
The standing out vs the blending in. You say that in the US ppl are encouraged to stand out. I just have one question about that: Why?
When the whole hipster/bearded men hype started, guys that wanted to stand out, let their beards grow and became 'hipsters', but now hipsters are everywhere, so when a guy changes his style into hipster style, he's not standing out anymore, but blending in ;-) The same goes for ppl with tattoo's.
I literally think this is an inferiority complex thing.. Why would you want to fit in or stand out? Just be yourself, what the hell does it matter? It's not about how you look or how you act, it's actually about who you are as a person (not who you're trying to portray as a person) that really matters to me. Just be real
I'm Dutch myself and I can agree on that we are quite direct. This is how it is thought to us but if there are asking for youre onesth opinion why lie, that would not help them. On the topic of money, people are not very secret about what te make. They cashier probably was trying to start a small conversation. I worked as a cashier and I would do they same so it is quite normal here. On the topic of not wearing make up and wearing expensive clothes. That's not very important to a boss most of the time. What more important is how you work how you treat customers and college's. And yes we are quite tall personally I'm 1.90 meters.
I am Dutch and lived in Bangkok for 5 years. In one shop (Carrefour) I bought, in one hour, a tv, fridge, t shirt, suitcase, fresh live lobster, 12 oysters, fresh chicken, a ready made Thai meal, a bicycle and a massage and a bus ticket to Koh Samed. I thought: I feel like being in the USA.
It is easy to shop for trousers for short legs, esp online. You have to ask not for petite-size but for a "K-maat" = K-size, means Kortere Maten.
Being short and finding good pants: I live in Germany and some online shops offer "kurze Größen" or i look for pants that are meant for not short people but is meant for summer or fall and have 7/8 length, so tall people would have it ended mid calf. For me it was the correct full length.
#6 i have bin in many countrey's (over 20) and onely in usa you have a shop like wallmark where you can bay everything
Lol I disliked the one-stop-shops in the USA xD
They have a bit of everything but not a lot of one thing so I actually found to have less choice. For instance I wanted something for in my bath. In the Netherlands I can go to Etos, Kruidvat or Holland&Barrett and have a big selection of bad salts, oils, soaps etc. in every store. In the one or two one-stop-shops there were in the areas where I was in the USA, they had maybe 2 soap brands, 1 oil brand and 2 salt brands and that was it. It felt lacking.
I am a small dutch girl. I’m 1,62 m (5.4 feet) so I know your struggle with finding clothes that fit. Levi’s is a good shop for pants. ‘Only’ is also good place to take a look.
"Doe maar normaal. Dat is al gek genoeg!" Is what they say. Though I've always been the odd duckling. And never regretted it! I liked to be the different person in the room.
I'm guessing why we here in the netherlands don't have many stores like wallmart and target and such is because everything is so close to each other. most people live approximatly over 15 minutes away from shops. You also see stores with basically everything you need to buy in one place in rural parts in france like leclerc. Im honestly thinking because of the driving distance. in parts of France you litteraly have to drive about an hour to get to the town with shops. So a shop that has it all in one place is very very convenient. In the netherlands you don't have to drive such rediculous hours to do some shopping
I am Dutch, but I'm also not very tall. I understand your stuggles to buy a good pair of pants/trousers completely. I can really recommend the webshop 'Your look for less'. The prices are good en I generally love their style. But the best thing is that most of their trousers have a 'korte maat' (short size). So far they all fit me well and are very comfortable to wear.
I also find it hard to find trousers that aren’t to long, I’m pretty short too by dutch standard.
But I found some shops that have shorter trousers
-C&A have a K behind the sizes of their jeans. The K stands voor kort = short so the jeans is 30cm or shorter
-The Only/Vera Moda have pants with different waist to length sizes. So you can have a 32 waist and a 30 or even 28 length. You do have to look a bit, but they are there. They also have ankle length, which for me is normal and for longer people is a bit shorter
You make such fun and interesting video’s. It’s fun to see how ‘not-dutch’ see dutch people (being dutch myself)
I'm 1.52 so kort! Dank u!
You can find shorter pants at c&a, they have the shorter option on the most pants they sell. Special for the shorter people, it says (size) "kort".
#7: In The Netherlands, you can tell apart generations and social levels by measuring the loudness of speech.
The volume also tells you whether you're in one of the cities in the west, or elsewhere in the Netherlands.
However, your shock amazed me for a bit:
When I was visiting the US, officials at the airport were just yelling at me in a sort of slang that I didn't understand. My polite explanation to them like not being a native speaker made them yell at me even more. Shortly after, I discovered that they yelled at almost anybody.
I've still no clue why they do.
Same with the NYC cabdrivers: Either totally silent or yelling at me.
And sorry to say: same experience with US information desks: They start yelling at you if you aren't concise enough, or they just look at you as if you were thin air, being utterly gross and impatient.
Because of the frequent yelling, every day again, I felt very unwelcome.
My experiences in US restaurants were just the opposite: Extremely polite waitresses who time and again offered apologies for things they didn't do wrong! Just awkward. I wondered if they were spied on by their boss's hidden camera...
No, it wasn't my loud voice (haven't any on stock) nor my sour face (only available while filling in tax papers ;) ) that created the situations.
In general, it pays to learn about someone's intentions: People might behave differently, but if you manage to know whether or not they want to hurt you, you know all that you need. Those who don't want to do harm are the people to be trusted, despite their funny behavior. Wherever you go in this world.
Hey miss jovie, thanks for being smart.....the colour of cloth you are wearing matches you.