Nice video. It looks like your views are converging to developmental psychology. Ego boundaries, Bowlby attachment theory, things like that. By the way, welcome back.
Excellent Video again Damien. I like how you encourage people to focus on their life overall and not exclusively on dating. As dating experiences can help us in other aspects of our lives and vice versa.
The sad part is, often we learn things too late in life. I studied dating intensively over the past years so that I can say that I am an expert on this topic. But it came too late ; my youth is long passed and all the cute girls are too young for me. Although I am one of the most knowledgeable people worldwide on the topic how to find a partner ; I never found love. Sometimes, my knowledge makes me feel very sad, asking myself why I didn't know that stuff when I was young.
Some old women can be cute, yeah they look old and wrinkly but they can be really loving and genuine. Don't focus so much on the body and focus more on the soul.
And another question, about attachment styles. Most advices on youtube are directed to either avoidant or anxious types, but I have the worst of all of them - a fearful one (both avoidant and anxious). Do you have some resources for working out this style, so it will harm me less? =-)
It's true that fearful isn't talked about much anywhere - So while I don't have resources I'd point to specifically FOR it - whatever your negative attachment style, the core problem is the same. A lack of trust in close intimate relationshisp, this is true if you're avoidant, anxious, or fearful. So the strategies required to deal with that attachment style would mostly be the same. So any great book on attachment styles would help - the one I often recommend is "attached" by Rachel Heller
I really love this video, and I have found myself going through a lot of it and I'm glad I'm on the right track when it comes to self growth. However i have trouble finding women to meet, dating apps have never worked for me at all, what can I do? How and where do I meet women? What time is a good time for that? Is it possible during covid?
That is just one part of redpill as I thought the whole point was to know what women are really like. Which was why I wanted to watch RedPill and Men Going there own way as I crave an understanding of my female side as it needs to be in check/call myself out on behaviours.
Yes - that's the goal of these movements, but t hey observe female behaviour through the avoidand/anxious lens. Does society give women unhealthy lessong growing up - YES - Women are told they MUST have a career or they're somehow low value - this is unconscionable. That's just one example, there are many. But when you see women described through the RedPill lens (or worse, the MGTOW lens), it's skewed and emotionally unhealthy - in the same way as when you view men through the stereotype feminist lens - sure they are seeking the truth, but it ends up all skewed and unhealthy and not quite right.
video summary 1. its not your job to please women 2. her output should match your output [both people should benefit from a parternship instead of being one sided] 3. you need to face reality instead of drowning into video games or etc as a means to escape from life. you will only crumble farther down the road. 4. dont act needy with women, she should be the one being needy for you. the more needy you are in the relationship the more likely she will leave you and not love you at all. thats 100. 5. desperate men finish last. who controls you? your mind or your penis. make the right decision for your future. 6. you need to put yourself first. if you put a women first all the time, and she is continously taking without giving then you failed and she will continue taking advantage of you once she noticed your spineless. 7. if a woman wants to hangout but you still like staying home due to a crazy weekend, ask her to come over instead of going out. learn to say no, dont be a yes man or she will treat you like a yes man. 8. learn to overcome rejection. you are a men. you are much more valuable than her. if she rejects you, she will continously be out there getting smashed n passed n maybe even prego with somebodies baby. keep working on yourself, many opportunities awaits you. 9. subscribe to my channel to be notified of my very first video drop sometime this year titled the simp bible.
The statement about video games is kinda judgemental. Any introverted hobby can be used for "escaping life", but trying to force yourself to change your hobbies just for women is breaking the first advice you gave, don't you think? ;-) When this Omicron-Corona situation calms down, I'll spend more time with my more social hobbies, like chess, board games or tabletop RPGs - but all three of them have a low rate of single women. And if I am obliged to go to the hobbies I don't like that are women-dominated, like dancing (which kills me with my asthma), or some female-dominated class like cooking (which will bore me to death)... then I'm trying to please women at my expense.
So to clarify - Anything that's built to be addictive can and is regularly used ot escape life - Sex, online dating, video games, going ot the casino, alcohol.... It's not judgmental, not all video games fans are escaping life - I referenced myself direclty to make this point - only that it's something ot be AWARE of becuase many guys listening WILL be using games as an escape. Secondly - I'm not suggesting you abandon all your hobbies for women - I'm suggesting you look for new ones to add into your life. Even if you rule women out completely - Someone who's hobbies are all indoors/antisocial (as most male dominated hobbies tend to be) can DEFINTELY benefit from finding hobbies that push them outside and to socialise more than they currently do.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Are you sure it's because of music? Maybe it's the gray background, profesional microphone or deeper look and way you talk? I might be in minority, but I'm strugling to finish this video, because of music. Maybe lower volume would be optimal?
How do you fare with other youtube videos? Music is very common, and I've checked the actual music levels and they're not any higher than average. I'm genuinely interested as don't want to alienate any of my viewers, but at the same time reserach not just in my own chanenl, but youtube videos in general shows music to increase viewer engagement.
I have looked into all the options, I don't want to use finasteride - I don't trust the long term uknowns with its usage and also the potential side-effects alothough small are off putting. I'm okay with the hair loss - I'll deal with it and make it work one way or another :)
@@klaasvankleef6299 didn't know what it is before and don't know what it is now as I never bothered to look it up. I shave my head for many reasons. It's better this way and I wouldn't want to go back. Take a look at bald celebrities. The Rock. Vin Diesel, JASON Statham, David Draiman and God knows how many black actors. All rocking shaved head and look great and get tons of women. I'm part of that club.
Bro. This isn't even just dating advice. It's life advice I wish more kids and teens knew
Learning about attachment style literally changed my life.
Yeah, you and me both!
Happy to see you again my friend:) Hope you upload more videos frequently now:)
Thank you, and yes I certainly am going ot keep the videos coming now
Nice video. It looks like your views are converging to developmental psychology. Ego boundaries, Bowlby attachment theory, things like that. By the way, welcome back.
Yeah, I'm wanting to bring a lot more psychological thinking to my content for sure.
Damien's back!!!!!
You have a very nuanced and wise approach to all this.
Thank you :)
Excellent Video again Damien. I like how you encourage people to focus on their life overall and not exclusively on dating.
As dating experiences can help us in other aspects of our lives and vice versa.
Great video Damien. When possible, could you please do a separate video on Healthy Selfishness...how can that be attractive to a mate?
Ooh, I actually really like this as a topic, I'm definitley going to do a video on this.
The sad part is, often we learn things too late in life. I studied dating intensively over the past years so that I can say that I am an expert on this topic. But it came too late ; my youth is long passed and all the cute girls are too young for me. Although I am one of the most knowledgeable people worldwide on the topic how to find a partner ; I never found love. Sometimes, my knowledge makes me feel very sad, asking myself why I didn't know that stuff when I was young.
Some old women can be cute, yeah they look old and wrinkly but they can be really loving and genuine. Don't focus so much on the body and focus more on the soul.
And another question, about attachment styles. Most advices on youtube are directed to either avoidant or anxious types, but I have the worst of all of them - a fearful one (both avoidant and anxious). Do you have some resources for working out this style, so it will harm me less? =-)
It's true that fearful isn't talked about much anywhere - So while I don't have resources I'd point to specifically FOR it - whatever your negative attachment style, the core problem is the same. A lack of trust in close intimate relationshisp, this is true if you're avoidant, anxious, or fearful. So the strategies required to deal with that attachment style would mostly be the same. So any great book on attachment styles would help - the one I often recommend is "attached" by Rachel Heller
Epic intro music
I really love this video, and I have found myself going through a lot of it and I'm glad I'm on the right track when it comes to self growth. However i have trouble finding women to meet, dating apps have never worked for me at all, what can I do? How and where do I meet women? What time is a good time for that? Is it possible during covid?
That is just one part of redpill as I thought the whole point was to know what women are really like. Which was why I wanted to watch RedPill and Men Going there own way as I crave an understanding of my female side as it needs to be in check/call myself out on behaviours.
Yes - that's the goal of these movements, but t hey observe female behaviour through the avoidand/anxious lens. Does society give women unhealthy lessong growing up - YES - Women are told they MUST have a career or they're somehow low value - this is unconscionable. That's just one example, there are many. But when you see women described through the RedPill lens (or worse, the MGTOW lens), it's skewed and emotionally unhealthy - in the same way as when you view men through the stereotype feminist lens - sure they are seeking the truth, but it ends up all skewed and unhealthy and not quite right.
video summary
1. its not your job to please women
2. her output should match your output [both people should benefit from a parternship instead of being one sided]
3. you need to face reality instead of drowning into video games or etc as a means to escape from life. you will only crumble farther down the road.
4. dont act needy with women, she should be the one being needy for you. the more needy you are in the relationship the more likely she will leave you and not love you at all. thats 100.
5. desperate men finish last. who controls you? your mind or your penis. make the right decision for your future.
6. you need to put yourself first. if you put a women first all the time, and she is continously taking without giving then you failed and she will continue taking advantage of you once she noticed your spineless.
7. if a woman wants to hangout but you still like staying home due to a crazy weekend, ask her to come over instead of going out. learn to say no, dont be a yes man or she will treat you like a yes man.
8. learn to overcome rejection. you are a men. you are much more valuable than her. if she rejects you, she will continously be out there getting smashed n passed n maybe even prego with somebodies baby. keep working on yourself, many opportunities awaits you.
9. subscribe to my channel to be notified of my very first video drop sometime this year titled the simp bible.
The statement about video games is kinda judgemental.
Any introverted hobby can be used for "escaping life", but trying to force yourself to change your hobbies just for women is breaking the first advice you gave, don't you think? ;-)
When this Omicron-Corona situation calms down, I'll spend more time with my more social hobbies, like chess, board games or tabletop RPGs - but all three of them have a low rate of single women. And if I am obliged to go to the hobbies I don't like that are women-dominated, like dancing (which kills me with my asthma), or some female-dominated class like cooking (which will bore me to death)... then I'm trying to please women at my expense.
So to clarify - Anything that's built to be addictive can and is regularly used ot escape life - Sex, online dating, video games, going ot the casino, alcohol.... It's not judgmental, not all video games fans are escaping life - I referenced myself direclty to make this point - only that it's something ot be AWARE of becuase many guys listening WILL be using games as an escape.
Secondly - I'm not suggesting you abandon all your hobbies for women - I'm suggesting you look for new ones to add into your life. Even if you rule women out completely - Someone who's hobbies are all indoors/antisocial (as most male dominated hobbies tend to be) can DEFINTELY benefit from finding hobbies that push them outside and to socialise more than they currently do.
Is that background music necessery? 😐
Lol
Yeah it throw me from listen Damien to listening to the music (a like panic sounding song or a must do something song).
Background music is very common on youtube - when I have background music the amount of time people stay watching videos increases.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Are you sure it's because of music? Maybe it's the gray background, profesional microphone or deeper look and way you talk? I might be in minority, but I'm strugling to finish this video, because of music. Maybe lower volume would be optimal?
How do you fare with other youtube videos? Music is very common, and I've checked the actual music levels and they're not any higher than average. I'm genuinely interested as don't want to alienate any of my viewers, but at the same time reserach not just in my own chanenl, but youtube videos in general shows music to increase viewer engagement.
Dude, you lost a lot of hair... I advice you to go to a dermatologist ASAP and start finasteride so you won't loose anymore.
I have looked into all the options, I don't want to use finasteride - I don't trust the long term uknowns with its usage and also the potential side-effects alothough small are off putting. I'm okay with the hair loss - I'll deal with it and make it work one way or another :)
@@SchoolOfAttraction Great attitude man! Hair loss sucks but you'll own it! ;)
@@klaasvankleef6299 ridiculous, fixing something that's not broken.
@@BalkanBiker upset you didnt know about finasteride on time?
@@klaasvankleef6299 didn't know what it is before and don't know what it is now as I never bothered to look it up. I shave my head for many reasons. It's better this way and I wouldn't want to go back. Take a look at bald celebrities. The Rock. Vin Diesel, JASON Statham, David Draiman and God knows how many black actors. All rocking shaved head and look great and get tons of women. I'm part of that club.