Why do you feel lonely while in a toxic relationship? narcissists love making you feel alone

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  • Опубликовано: 7 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 87

  • @1classystyle
    @1classystyle 2 года назад +50

    I remember going to the bathroom and breaking down in tears at how lonely I felt even though he was right there in the living room. 😔

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  2 года назад +1

      😢

    • @denisesmith8266
      @denisesmith8266 2 года назад +3

      I've also went thru that, I'm 8 months pregnant with a malignant narcissist... I realized I was laying down with my enemy.

    • @1classystyle
      @1classystyle 2 года назад +1

      @@denisesmith8266 I'm very sorry to hear that for you. 😔

    • @anika.minx_
      @anika.minx_ 2 года назад +1

      This.. exact thing happened to me too! Broke down in the shower because of loneliness when he was just right there

    • @1classystyle
      @1classystyle 2 года назад +2

      @@anika.minx_ ❤❤❤ I'm so sorry that you experienced the same. I hope that you're on a healing journey now.

  • @godsfavor6939
    @godsfavor6939 2 года назад +48

    This is sooooooooooo true! My daughter used to be so depressed and lonely while being with her narc. He would always make excuses on why they could never meet up or go out. He didn’t deserve her and she didn’t deserve that type of treatment. She’s one year out and I’ve never witnessed her happier and making her life better until now without him.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  2 года назад +2

      Glad she’s doing well

    • @louc3135
      @louc3135 2 года назад +1

      So glad to hear! @Godsfavor

  • @Murcurybun
    @Murcurybun 2 года назад +39

    I would rather be alone than suffer the abuse I went through. Nothing was real, I have been single a year now and I am at peace.

  • @justagirl4150
    @justagirl4150 2 года назад +27

    I never felt so lonely in my ENTIRE life until I got with my narc

  • @tiffanyfox5187
    @tiffanyfox5187 2 года назад +13

    "The longer you hold onto things not meant for you, the more you will lose the things that are meant for you" just remembered it cause it resonates, can't recall author. You are so right! I am lonely as I am single, healing, and done with any toxic types. I swear it was way lonelier with the narc. Not to mention all the anxiety. I am back, I am me again! Lets go baby!!

  • @pmh2242
    @pmh2242 2 года назад +26

    I appreciate the fact that you have come forward to help the ones in toxic relationships so we can see where their coming from.

  • @selenavillarreal9951
    @selenavillarreal9951 2 года назад +28

    Thank you Lee, a month before I broke up with my narcissist ex-boyfriend I realize and started to feel not happy anymore with him and I would question myself why do I feel lonely? he wasn't the same anymore he wasn't treating with the same love he had once for me. I remember driving around doing my errands and every couple that I will see I would question myself how did that man showed 💕 love for his woman what kind of love was he giving to her? That woman look happy with him how come I don't have that? How did he show love for her? It started playing with my mind a lot into one day a month later my ex narcissist broke my heart ghosted me and still given me the silent treatment. I realized then he never did love me.. he only used me for the light that I have within me. 🦋

    • @Love_GSDs
      @Love_GSDs 2 года назад +1

      He realised your eyes were opening, and once you see them there is nowhere for them to hide anymore. You're worth more. You always were x

    • @edgreen8140
      @edgreen8140 2 года назад +3

      They know what you need but will not give you what you need.

  • @SigneKristineHermind
    @SigneKristineHermind 2 года назад +11

    My loneliness in the narcissistic relationship was not so much caused by my friends and family being alienated, because I maintained contact with them, but it made me sad and frustrated, that my boyfriend didn't want to participate in parties and get-to-gethers, and he didn't want me, to meet his friends and family, either, although he talked about them all the time, expecially his ex-girlfriends.
    I often felt lonely with him, because even though he was physically present, he was often distant .. He would not touch me or listen to me, often yawned if I talked or closed his eyes, as if he was very tired .

  • @kalesiandrews527
    @kalesiandrews527 2 года назад +4

    “People do not give you better treatment because you upgrade the title in your life”

  • @bettyboop5569
    @bettyboop5569 2 года назад +15

    Because Narcissists only think about themselves and their personal needs and desires. You give them everything and all they do is take. I spent 22yrs in love with one. I loved him until their was nothing left of me. The only time I got a little bit of bread crumbs is when I thought about leaving. I finally left him 41/2 yrs ago. It was hell after but I am healing and becoming a real person again. I pray everyone who reads this is able to find themselves too. I love you all it will be hard but you can do it, I did.

    • @ptwarari
      @ptwarari 2 года назад +1

      Ongoing strength to you too.

    • @UnvaccinatedCov.19
      @UnvaccinatedCov.19 Год назад

      I'm only 27 and have been in my relationship for 8 years. I think I'm going down this path. I'm so sad because I have so much trauma, and I've never ever felt so lonely in my life. And this guy is running me dry. I have nothing now not even a job. Can't think clearly anymore. always walking on eggshells. Everyone seems to laugh at me. Lost my friends and stuck with only his. People are mean and get away with things. He literally yelled at me for dropping a lighter only because he went out with another girl. Imagine trying to explain a situation and this person just denies everything, anything to every single person in my life. He has destroyed me and I'm only 27 😢

  • @tomboydee3326
    @tomboydee3326 2 года назад +10

    Yes it's true it was hard I left after 9 years my hair was falling out was getting sick felt dizzy during the relationship.soon as I left my dizziness went away I'm not sick anymore.i pray everyday be thankful that I left I should've left long time ago but it was cause of my kids.......I could care less what happens to him....the problem is the healing process is the hardest 4 me I feel so damaged and my self esteem suffered

  • @ImDemanding
    @ImDemanding 2 года назад +5

    Mine would tease me a lot about everything from my clothes to my weight. When I brought it to his attention he’d say I’m only joking. Then he would get upset & say I’ll just stop talking to you. With him, it was always zero or 100. Never 50. Having a conversation with him always turned petty & childish. I grew to loathe him.

  • @kaleenajean
    @kaleenajean 2 года назад +22

    Facts. ❤️ My anxiety and depression went away. After I dropped the ahole. I absolutely used the word lonely. Smh still single and not lonely. Interesting.

  • @LibraMoonScorpioSun
    @LibraMoonScorpioSun 2 года назад +9

    This strengthens the argument for celibacy. TFS!

  • @rareroseglosses1554
    @rareroseglosses1554 Год назад +3

    I've never felt so alone

  • @buckwheat_flower
    @buckwheat_flower 2 года назад +3

    It gets lonely not only they actually make u cut off your people, but also the ill treatment and steal your sense of self.

  • @rosierb852
    @rosierb852 2 года назад +2

    Going through this now. All I have is resentment and anger. All this person do is lay on the bed on his phone. Never wants to do anything. Took 4 days off from work so he can do the same shit. Play video games and on his phone. I'm not into no more, I'm just stuck here until can get a job and leave this country.

  • @delaney5721
    @delaney5721 2 года назад +2

    So true he would ignore me in front of his friends and drag me along and I didn’t want to be there especially like all night it was so annoying and boring

  • @tanjajones2228
    @tanjajones2228 2 года назад +3

    this is how i lost my closest friends. when i become pregnant my friend has told me i will help you with abortion. i didn't do that
    now i have no friends and i am single mom without anyone alone
    and yes i was complaining all the time and people didn't want be around him, later on i realized there was another reason they started avoiding me which is him talking horrible to people who loved me, but unfortunately i choose him
    and lost 13 years of my life
    now my older son doesn't want to have anything with him and consequences on
    my personal and professional development are devastating. my son is showing the traits of the same behavior
    its a struggle
    you will loose everything, yourself, friends, become negative and talking about your trash all the time but not doing anything about it,
    will have to raise kids alone, and don't stand a chance to improve lifestyle just barely surviving
    yes i was always lonely ALWAYS, he is the empty person,
    my friend who knew him has told me there is something about him , we all know, i don't know how to explain, but he is not a person to have a family with
    had a listened! also he was treating me horrible emotionally and physically....
    save yourself and don't have a family with those people

  • @jenniferj4675
    @jenniferj4675 2 года назад +1

    First and foremost I want to say thank you for posting these videos. The past three years I have never felt more unloved unappreciated and like you said lonely due to dating the narc that I did. I entered the relationship happy trusting and full of love and affection and I look back over the years that I spent and I see the gradual decline of my happiness my love my affection and my trust. I am glad I’m coming out of it but it’s no fun. I never want to be in that position Ever again

  • @tedbrown2715
    @tedbrown2715 2 года назад +4

    Totally felt so lonely, 9 yrs... Gave and gave

  • @deborahyarborough1348
    @deborahyarborough1348 2 года назад +2

    You’re giving people great insight. Thank you

  • @tammik4652
    @tammik4652 2 года назад +2

    Love that your Christmas tree is up. So is mine. Holiday cheer!

  • @michellevanvalkenburg1487
    @michellevanvalkenburg1487 2 года назад +12

    Your lonely because your narc is incapable of true intimacy. You now have a roommate that controls intimacy. Anything you want or need isn't going to happen unless you make it happen.

  • @corinnefogarty7880
    @corinnefogarty7880 2 года назад +5

    The narcissist I had married, and had a child with, ruined me for future relationships. It never occurred to me that this is what was he was. I heard, from his sons, later on that he had 5 different women being played.
    Believe what you are hearing here. You will save your sanity and self-esteem.

  • @RS-ww8jo
    @RS-ww8jo 2 года назад +2

    Absolutely I’m glad that’s over.

  • @razbearymoon1276
    @razbearymoon1276 2 года назад +14

    You feel lonely because you're alone in that relationship

  • @debbiewilder4738
    @debbiewilder4738 2 года назад +2

    I had 4 children and was moving a lot because of the drama my narcissist husband caused I was so mad that no one ever gave me a book about emotional or psychological abuse. I was reading i about boundaries and reading what I could with 4 babies but boundaries didn't work because he could overcome them so easily with no effort, why didn't someone give me a book about abuse I would've read it and got everything I needed but they just gave me little one paragraph clues!!!!!! That I was supposed to pick up on, with 4 babies, it went straight over my head but now I look back and see their little clues. I think they did that just because they so wanted to feel good about themselves.

  • @Love_GSDs
    @Love_GSDs 2 года назад +1

    I felt lonely and isolated. Like even when my friends came round it was only the ones he could 'take over'.... I ended up being the one who made the tea!
    Since he left, it took a while to pick myself up, but I bought myself a campervan and I'm learning to love my life again. I have good friends back in my life and even my own company doesn't feel as lonely as I did with him...

  • @lajuanjackson24
    @lajuanjackson24 2 года назад

    Wow what an amazing topic. Thank you Lee, I flagged it so I can watch this one a few times. God bless yuh

  • @dianemajor5141
    @dianemajor5141 2 года назад +1

    This is so true.

  • @26pinkpixie
    @26pinkpixie 2 года назад

    You’re so right! Thank you sooo much for sharing your knowledge and insights. You’ve helped me get my life back on track ♥️

  • @shenisenicole103
    @shenisenicole103 2 года назад +2

    This entire video 💯. Whew

  • @sundown2221
    @sundown2221 2 года назад

    Thanks for the truth

  • @ptwarari
    @ptwarari 2 года назад +1

    'Relationship with substance'; nothing less.

  • @kaliluna7022
    @kaliluna7022 2 года назад +4

    Wondering if the abundance of negative as well as positive attention is a factor. Its attention we may not be getting elsewhere and sometimes any attention even if its controlling or abusive may feel better temporarily than no attention at all.

  • @anna_k_25
    @anna_k_25 2 года назад +1

    Soooo goooood!! So so good 🙏🏼👏🏼👏🏼-Anna.
    - (24K plated 💩, had me rollin too ) 😆

  • @dainese_1972
    @dainese_1972 2 года назад +1

    Hello my dear ....Haha I like when you touch your hair its suits you this hairstyle its just So You...and of course thank you for your video its helpful as usual...!!!!💫💜

  • @Jessica-zf2df
    @Jessica-zf2df 2 года назад

    There's a lovely line in the movie 'Brigadoon'...long before your time Lee. Her sisters are trying to find a husband for her to stop her feeling lonely and she says (well sings actually) ... 'but how lonely is the night when the lad's not right'. By the way I love watching your face when your other half is talking. You are so charismatic and I can't help smiling.

  • @Tippytopp2
    @Tippytopp2 2 года назад

    Lee? There are some of us, like me, who need help with how to handle situations, when you want to stay in the relationship.(how your wife responds in positive ways) My 15 year old son has so much trouble in life. I want to help him🙏

  • @staceystroynywalls8294
    @staceystroynywalls8294 2 года назад

    Fortunately I haven't lost a friend or family member but I have several that have distanced themselves when it comes to my relationship, as in they don't discuss it with me any more and if he's at my house they won't come over. It just makes me feel even more isolated which is probably what he wants. 😔

  • @claire4735
    @claire4735 2 года назад

    Thank you sir!!!

  • @paper-chasepublications9433
    @paper-chasepublications9433 2 года назад

    PREACH🗣️🗣️🗣️

  • @MJ-qb5ph
    @MJ-qb5ph 2 года назад +2

    Because they don’t give a flying f@@@ about you and are playing multiple games to destroy your soul. That’s why

  • @deborahyarborough1348
    @deborahyarborough1348 2 года назад

    I gained peace of mind

  • @chrisg7795
    @chrisg7795 2 года назад +2

    Hi Lee, I didn’t get discarded but I left him a month ago (after an 8 months relationship) and find myself unable to stop grieving and asking myself whether he actually ever loved me. I was and am so sure about that being the right decision but why doesn’t the sadness stop? Please help. I am strong but my mind keeps reminding me of the things we shared and enjoyed, not the many times he was acting so distant.
    I had sad thoughts when I was looking at other men holding their girlfriend’s hand or massaging their pregant wife’s back on the plane. I used to think, is mine only a boy? Or worse, is he even with me in his mind? (That thought is still torturing me. Has he ever been with me in his mind?)
    He has probably never loved me. But he loved my light. Putting it this way helps me because I feel so small. I feel small because in the call he gave me after I left him he said, quite soberly (was it revenge?): You were just a warm cave. It hurt so much as we had spent the most romantic holiday only a month before. But shortly afterwards we met his ex and I learned that he had been in contact with her, wrote her that he loved her. He said later he just missed the family life he had had with her but the love had been dead for two years even if they had separated only a year ago. Love was what he had built with me. A month later he said the thing with the warm cave. I’m so confused, hurt, I question myself because he is able to tell me both and has thus obviously been lying about the loving. I feel so small. But I did give him all the warmth and strength when he was feeling low or sick (he has a difficult autoimmune disease). I was the truest friend when he felt lost. I have fear that he only ever saw me as “the weak woman” who was stupidly believing him when he said he cared, and thus not enough to be loved. I do care about my loved ones and I feel awful right now and so confused about what has been true and what was a lie. I wonder whether it is true that I was just a safe place 😢 but never important.

  • @debramarshall4293
    @debramarshall4293 2 года назад +8

    You said it right. Torture.

  • @buckwheat_flower
    @buckwheat_flower 2 года назад

    I was kept isolated from family, withdrew from all social circles. Now since I'm divorced my parents want me to move abroad, in a progressive country. I dont find moving abroad as a success. I would be suffocated. No one understands. It was difficult for me to be completely alone and i dont want to be alone all over again.

  • @judithmaizels5215
    @judithmaizels5215 2 года назад

    Hey. I just discovered your videos. Do any of them talk about the parent/child relationship? Specifically with a narcissistic child

  • @shakirahamid1787
    @shakirahamid1787 2 года назад +3

    🤣🤣 24 karat gold plated manure! 💯

  • @leorashirley1769
    @leorashirley1769 2 года назад +1

    Hope baby girl is ok.... that cough.

  • @janicemurphy4373
    @janicemurphy4373 2 года назад

    SADLY FOR WOMEN THE MOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @NA-sp8hn
    @NA-sp8hn 2 года назад

    Hey I don't know how to reach you but I wish I can talk to you, I am in dander and have been to police several times and they can't help me. I am being ganged stalked seriously in Houston, TX I suspect my my boyfriend and currently my husband but he denies all of that. He also poison my food and get other people to watch via video while we have sex and he denies all of that. He has other girlfriends. My life is in danger I am stalked 24hours chased around Houston in cars and he spreads rumors about me all fake. Please help. The relationship is very toxic. I fear for my life, no help for me any where

  • @mishellablessed9982
    @mishellablessed9982 2 года назад

    Been watching your videos and am starting to doubt whether you are actually a narc! I listen to HG Tudor and the two of you sound totally different?

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  2 года назад

      So you doubt me but not him? Ok lol.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  2 года назад +2

      He can say what he wants cause his face and identity are hidden. I have to watch it. Hope this helps

  • @vanessagonzalez4934
    @vanessagonzalez4934 2 года назад

    ✨✨⭐✨✨