HOW TO NOT BRING OLD RELATIONSHIP BAGGAGE INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 16 фев 2021
- Listen to the pod here: ttps://link.chtbl.com/jbusubscribe
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
ALLISON'S TWITTER: bit.ly/1SapQca
ALLISON'S INSTAGRAM: / allisonraskin and / emotionalsupportlady
GABY'S TIKTOK: dabygunn
GABY'S INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/1UHr5WP
SUPPORT US: www.patreon.com/justbetweenus...
MERCH: store.dftba.com/collections/ju... 
Приколы
I can't even explain how listening to Allison makes me feel right now. Her talking about wanting another relationship in the future made me tear up. I know we don't have a clear look into her everyday life but I feel like I can see her progress throughout these podcasts and it makes me want to be like her. I really admire how much you're taking care of yourself, Allison. Lots and lots of love ❤
Me too! I felt so much inspiration to be strong for myself regarding my mental health journey I'm on. 🤓
She is sooooo wise and clever and charming. I feel for her. She deserves the world!
the difference between baggage and experience is what you've learned and how you grow from it. baggage weighs you down and experience reminds you that you already know how to carry that weight.
Underrated comment. Thank you for this ❤️
Beautifully phrased!
Wow.
This episode said “You. You need to watch this.”
Ikr. How did they know.
sam3
Cant wait for Alison to become this pinnacle mental health spokesperson in the future, you can just see the growth. It's so wonderful and seeing Gabby grow is incredible too. These two are just *chef kisses*
00:01 She could record the song then play it, but she chooses to sing it every episode ♥
Allison has made so much progress and grown so much in these last few months. I'm so proud of her.
i love gaby's "Mmmhmmm!" after everything Allison says.
I just went through THE breakup of my life, these videos are getting me through tough times. Specially me being trans, this breakup has brought up old trauma and dysphoria. I can't help but feel like something is wrong with my body and I'll never be a worthy long term partner.
Great video! Got a nice community going on here.
Mine was 6 months ago but I still have inklings of all these things. ✨💕 Sending all the healing and growing vibes I can spare.
Sending love to yall
Sending love your way!!
I come back to this video regularly to remind myself that it wasn’t me, I just happened to be the casualty of someone else coping mechanism
I need a “how to not bring daddy and mommy issues into a relationship”
It’s like I have abandonment issues, commitment issues and I self sabotage in relationships. And since my mom was abusive I have some anger issues. It’s a mess lol
I relate to what you say.
I'm reading the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Karyl McBride, and damn. It touches on all of these
I feel like I can really tell Allison is in grad school for clinical psych in these segments
This is the first episode I've watched in several years and I'm so glad to know she's doing that! I'm so proud 💖
My brain wanted you to say:
How do I stop bringing old relationship baggage into new relationship baggage.
So . . .bring the baggage into the new relationship, unpack it, and the exposure prevents problems.
This is good advice. "Don't be afraid of the baggage you are carrying. Everyone has it so just share it"
love allison's international question pop punk song. need a full album
You guys have grown up
She is a real therapist now👏❤
Wow I'm nearly 20 and not been through alot of these sort of things but it really makes me feel better equipped to deal with it. Love you guys x
literally two nights ago had a breakdown because I thought my partner did something similar to what a past abusive partner did, so I had a big reaction and later was able to explain why, but it’s still hard for them to understand why I would react so strongly for them.
SO glad you guys are uploading here again!!
I really needed to hear this. Thank you both for just being who you are.
the timing of this video oh my god. amazing discussion as always!
I already listened to the audio but I came here to give you a like and say that this is such good advice and great perspective!
I'm in Austin and when my power was down for 9 hours on Monday I read your new book :D.
So much of this sounds like what I've learned in therapy ! Doing a service for everybody :)
I liked that intro 😍
I love y’all’s podcast so much!! It has helped me understand myself and the relationships around me. Is there anyway to see full length videos of the podcasts??
AAAAAARG THE TITLE JUST ATTACKED MY SINGLE FOR 2 YEARS BAGLADY HEART I love you twos
SO good! It's really important to be able to spell out your feelings, but yes it's SO hard and can feel very unnatural at first 💕
Allison’s growth is so amazing. Like I love these girls
Alison's and Gaby's growth is inspiring!
this video was SOOOOO good. I've been in the happiest relationship I've ever been in for the past 2 years (and it surely did not start that way LOL) everything you have said deeply, deeply resonates.
You have no idea how much I needed this episode at this time!!
i love allison endlessly
Excellent relationship analysis. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
I am just glad that you guys are back😊
I am laughing in uncomfortable. I am not necessarily in a new relationship but in the bit before that. I am being extremely active in combatting my own outlook on how things are. I am being very communicative and transparent about my own mental health and my needs, but even more I am being very very open and receptive to when he shares those things.
I can't believe this 14 minute video has so many nuanced advices. Thanks guys!
I can’t focus because Allison‘s hair looks so good!
was left last year after a 6 yr friendship/4 year relationship and the baggage question has been in and out of my mind as I wonder how I will deal in my next relationship with the paranoia I know this will cause. Very helpful advice, thank you both x
Yes! It’s key that you can trust your partner will tell you when something’s up.
The need for constant reassurance can often communicate you don’t trust your partner to communicate
4:14 I really needed to hear this right now, thank you! Love this convo :)
This issue is a lot like my issue I’ve been experiencing. It helped a lot.
Allison singing "international question!" Brings happiness into my morning
Life is supposed to go well. Everything else is a detour. I love you all.
ugh i LOVE the car crash example Allison used!
thank you allison for 4:12 - I cried, so I definitely think I needed to hear that lol
ahh this one just hits so well. dropping mad great advice here
Unrelated but I am also an Asian nerd fighter!
@@hannahlim9275 ahh lovely to meet another Asian nerdfighter! DFTBA!
Well spoken! Great advice, thanks guys
These were really good advice with nuance ♥️
I'm convinced the universe sent me this video. Thank you!
When I began dating my now SO of 15 years, I found myself really afraid of my own heart bc I was convinced nothing would last like my past big relationship. I still have fleeting moments of fear of even thinking of the concept of "forever" while also KNOWING that my current relationship is great and stable and committed. I don't know that my heart will ever feel perfectly safe but I have ptsd from child abuse and I think a small part of me will always have some kind of vigilance and doubt. Knowing that and being kind to myself is what helps me.🥰❤️ Definitely being kind to our own heart is soooooo important... Even tho it's all too easy to be the most hurtful, critical and just plain mean to ourselves.🥺💔
Allison’s wisdom 🥺💗
This was super helpful. Thanks.
For Gaby love this color but also for Allison love seeing her without makeup
Yeah, it can be manipulative or at least unhealthy/unfair to provide all the context of your past relationship traumas to let a new partner know why you want to have an unreasonable boundary or expectation. If your boundary/expectation is unreasonable, you should work on that on your own. If it's reasonable, they shouldn't need convincing with that trauma context. If they do need convincing, you might not be compatible. Your reasonable expectations in a relationship usually should be met by someone you are compatible with.
Totally agree!
Love this great advice as always
This is so great! I’m in the same position as the person who asked the question right now :)
I’m always wondering how many times they’ll let me be afraid of a breakup or cry before they breakup with me.
Awesome!! Like always ☺️
Love yall!
Great episode!
lmao I'm doing the exact same thing and this video is really coming in clutch
This is such a great question
Gosh I wish this video could have around the time when I was getting super triggered in the early days of my present 3 year relationship because I feel like it would have been able to help me to process the toxic fling that I had previously been involved in before meeting my current boyfriend because it was such a hot mess of a situation at that time. I look back on everything that I ended up causing and it still hurts me to this day because I know now that it was only a result of being hurt over and over again and being scared of being hurt again so once the drama was getting too much with me being insecure and hearing certain key words again that I had heard too many times that resulted in the same way it made me completely flip out taking things to the extreme with my emotions and I didn't know how to ask for the things that I needed and wanted in a proper way. That toxic fling completely messed me up for some time and I hadn't realized it until I met my current boyfriend and thank god despite me acting like a crazy person we eventually worked things out to a point where we are good and past issues/behaviors aren't taking a hold of me anymore. I'm lucky that my relationship is genuine and that my current boyfriend hasn't hurt me like the others and he ended up being the real deal without any bad intent or games which makes me grateful everyday I just wish I wouldn't have let my past baggage hurt him in the process of getting used to him and our relationship in the beginning 😞
This is also my first relationship at 25 and I've realized that I suck at communication because of my lack of experience with relationships so the overwhelming emotions that I didn't have a hold of in the beginning came to hurt me but I've learned and I've grown so much from how I acted in the beginning which makes me relieved because it makes me feel better as a person and a partner.
I'm sorry for my bad grammar I just wanted to share my thoughts. Love you guys!!
I love this video so much. Jeez.
God, both of you are so good.
1. "If you enter a new relationship, you need to be a certain amount of healed from the previous relationship".
2. Admitting not knowing how a past trauma can trigger you even if you might feel confident about not bringing it into a new relationship.
I heard the Boundaries episode on a Psychotherapy podcast by David Purber with his wife as a guest, who said the following about boundaries: Think of boundaries as a fence around your house and that means others cannot trespass into this space and doing so should be communicated appropriately but ALSO that YOU are responsible for taking of this space. It really gave me a new perspective on boundaries as not just a space to keep people out but that you take ownership over.
(BTW - Allison, WHEN IS YOUR BOOK COMING?)
Pudner* and Points 1,2 are my main takeaways from this episode.
for you queens i will not skip ads
Gaby has seemed kind of sad lately, hope she's ok ✨
Allison what's your secret to perfect skin? Basically it looks flawless.
OH GOD THAT PROBABLY WAS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE LEFT...
I’m a Verbal Processer so I would talk about my ex, but in a way of just oh this is what I learned, but probably to him, it was hurtful and cutting him down :/
where are people even sending all these questions?
💕💕💕
♥️
Wait sorry what?! My ex's behaviour is not a reflection of me 🤯🤯🤯🤯 and i didnt cause it 😱😱😱 not sure i fully belive that yet but wow I needed to hear that!
So... I'm late to the party, but Allison is no longer following Igor, but Gaby is. He hasn't been featured in their podcast or on their RUclips channel in quite awhile (to my knowledge). Do we know what happened? It obviously couldn't have been /terrible/ if Gaby can still be friends with both of them, but it makes me sad that Allison and Igor may have had a friendship break up.
And whatever happened to Alan? Did he quit because he needed a new project or maybe couldn't transition onto the podcast team?
Oh yeah, totally forgot they were on Buzzfeed
woooooo
Can you make Series of Episode of Video that these Men Life on World?
Their way of life.
Fred Rogers & Bob Ross teach you & World.
Mr Rogers Neighborhood
1968 to 2001. 74 Years
The Joy of Painting
With Bob Ross
1983 to 1994. 52 Years
Thank you.
Show to world in an year.
O
Stop Allison from doing that song, EVERRRRRRRR
in conclusion.....C.O.M.P.R.O.M.I.S.E
This channel might have became a bit too serious? It started off with funny small videos where they would try to give advice but not really. There were some subtle lessons and it was just hilarious. Now it’s just serious and deep. Which is good too but not as interesting to me honestly. I have followed them both since their buzzfeed days. Love them a lot. Hope to see more exciting content in the future!
First