Pessimists Vs. Optimists | Pretend Problems Ep. 36
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- This week, Chad throws the first pitch at the Minnesota Twins game, they share their top grossest foods, and answer some awesome listener questions about dating after a divorce, labels in a relationship, pessimists vs optimists and more! Write into pretendproblemspodcast@gmail.com with your dating and relationship advice questions and we'll answer them on the show! Subscribe to the podcast, and give it a 5-star rating and review to help the show move up the charts. Video for the episodes is on Chad's RUclips channel!
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Theme Song cowritten by Matthew Facca and Alex Bent
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Who, suddenly at age 50, decides they want to try to be a comedian? Balls. Good on you, Chad. I hope it works out. Rocky start, but it will make you stronger. I’m rooting for you. F the haters.
Kelsey making random Office quote references in conversation is very relatable.
English is my 2nd language and I absolutely LOVED the couple-labeling exchange. 😊 Truly enjoy every word you say. Or gesture. I swear I'm gonna steal the hand movement and will use it with every "Hi" and "Bye" and "Thank you" and "Good luck" from now on! 😂😁
Yeah.....we're gonna need to see that pitch. I'll sign up for the Patreon for that trick shot, behind the back pitch
Kelsey Cook is amazing in the Olympics. Way to go, Kelsey. ;)
Don't ever forget Buttmud Brooks!
Ive never seen a soul’s energy bar drain as quickly as Chad’s did when you were reading that 1st question and the dude says “I have emotional problems”😆
Goddamnit Kelsey can’t you see these are killing Chad!🗣️!
big fan of Chad and Kelsey. for the sake of dating or being mutually entangled in someone else's life, Kyle Kinane prefers saying "the missus" when referring to his lady. I believe her name is Rachel. and she doesn't mind Shane Torres being around.
Fuck yeah, pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapenos rule!
Totally agree with Chad on the cottage cheese. My wife loves. I tried again as an adult, but just couldn't make it happen. It's the whole texture and appearance. It's taking a jug of milk that a month past it's expiration date, and pouring the first cottage cheese looking liquidy chunks into bowl and eating it. Gross!! Ugh!
Plot twist. You and Dane Cook have a 7th cousin 15 times removed in common... Then you could tell people that you absolutely ARE RELATED!!! 😂😂😂
And now just to even things out:
…Me looking at bananas in my local co-op’s grocery aisle🚶♂️
Rando Lady: “Are those Bananas good?”
Me Looking at regular bananas:🙇♂️Yeah, they’re pretty good, they’re organic, not too much more than the others...
RandoLady: “I can’t eat bananas, I’m constipated a lot, and they make it worse...”
Me: “Oh really, I thought they’re supposed to help with that sort of thing?”
RandoLady: “Yeah, they do, just not with me, I have a weird digestive system……Stares directly into my soul.
Me:…Stares back into her soul and say “By weird you mean diarrhea, dontchya?
RandoLady:…..”Yeah”
Me:…..”You wanna get outta here, I know a place that has a great Banana smoothie😏
“🍄”As I stepped beyond the threshold, I entered another world-like Dorothy walking into Oz. A slight breeze swirled the leaves and branches and blossoms of the garden, brushing the skin on my arms. Soft air and clear light caressed my face. Just then, the music stopped. It took me a moment to realize that the music in my head was actually in my iPod and the iPod must have run out of power. I took out the ear buds and a far more fantastic music flooded in, leaves rustling, birds chirping, insects buzzing, the distant shoosh of tires on the road invisible behind the trees. I sat at the wrought-iron table and put my feet up. The crystalline light astonished me. The air, neither hot nor cold, was invigoratingly dry. I felt energy radiating from my body into the air, mingling with the radiations emanating from all the life surrounding me. I scanned the back yard. The ornamental grasses had begun to shoot out golden tufts; the crepe myrtle, hydrangea, stone crop, petunias and geraniums all had covered themselves in blossoms. Figs grew large and heavy on the fig tree, which exploded tropically in one corner of the yard, and fat red tomatoes swelled on the still leafing vines in another. Tendrils of Virginia creeper and wild grape dripped from the pines across the back fence, persimmons hung from the persimmon tree like Christmas ornaments. I had seen all this the previous morning, and many other mornings before that. But now I had stepped into a page from an illuminated fairy tale. Just as that thought entered my mind, three large yellow butterflies appeared, flitting in spirals around me. I laughed aloud: I was in Oz after all🌄…
…I can’t think of any other way to put this but to say the sky opened, and grace poured down all around me. Light itself had transformed into a palpable substance, spilling down as if from a fountain. But it was more than light. It was blessings of every kind, goodness incarnate, flowing inexhaustible and immutable from above. I didn’t say to myself, “What is this?” I didn’t guess. I knew, I saw, I was in the presence of God. This wasn’t a God with whom I could have a conversation, at least not two-way. I think I said, or shouted, “Ok, I am DEFINITELY not an atheist,” but God was mute, or rather, I understood, or perceived, that the only response God would ever make was the boundless bounty of beauty cascading over me. After the shock and awe, my first thought was that this gift absurdly overmatched anything I could possibly have deserved. I thought, and said aloud, “Why me?” Instantly, that seemed too pleased with myself. I could just look at this phenomenon that confronted me, this Niagara Falls of beauty pouring down, and know that I hadn’t been “chosen.” I was no one special. This was just what God was, a permanent condition that somehow had remained invisible to me until this moment..”
reset.me/story/tried-psychedelic-mushrooms-35-years-saw-light/🌈
🍂🌄🍄🌄🍂
To all those who are causing suffering in this world, directly or indirectly: Heed your dreams at night, those nightmares that you most assuredly are having are imploring you to change -before it’s too late…
The quality of our dreams is both a reflection of our thoughts and actions as well as a general foreshadowing of the fate of our souls in the next life...A nightly, temporary karma that beckons us to change - for the good - so as to avoid a more permanent karma❤️🔥
Beauty(🌷)+Complexity(🌎)
=Intent(❤️)
The Figure 8 Analogy:
An analogy on life, death, the dream-state and the symbolism intertwined within the human experience.
We human beings are not traveling in the abstract motion of a straight line towards death (for instance, the numerical straight line of say 1-89). Instead, we are moving in the motion of a figure 8. The Figure 8 is a natural repeating pattern that is divided into two halves and is thus the perfect symbol to represent the human life cycle and our two primary states of existence that we are continuously moving in and out of -the Awake state and the Dream state.
When we awake from sleep we come full circle to when we fall back asleep (represented by the bottom half of the figure 8 )and when we go into the dream state we come full circle to when we awake from the dream state (represented by the top half of the figure 8 ). Upon death; the figure 8 of life untwines, but it’s not the body untwining from the mind that this analogy represents. It's two states of mind untwining to form a larger state of mind (8-0)…
Because the awake state is really a state -of mind, with our body's physical reality "consciously" intertwined; and the dream-state is also a state of mind with our body's physical reality "subconsciously" intertwined. Therefore; upon death, these two states of mind untwine to form a “larger” state of mind. A state that has all the potentialities of the dream-world (flying, telepathy, psychokinesis, etc) combined with all the actualities of the awake world(nature, form, bonds, etc). This I refer to as the transitional analogy.
While conceiving The Figure 8 Analogy, I realized life and death must be perceived -from one point of view- as seperate entities(the transitional analogy(8-0), but must also be perceived -from another point of view- as inseparable entities(the symbolic analogy👇), both of which are ultimately linked by the dream-state.
The “Symbolic Analogy” consists of the untwined figure 8 of life/the “circle of death” ( O ) abstractly overlapping the ‘circle of life’ (Earth(🌎)with the overlapping area representing the dreamstate-like the common area in a Venn Diagram-and implies that the dream state is just as much a part of life as is of death (by which explains precognitive dreams, prodromal dreams, "visitations" by deceased relatives, etc) for the dream-state has a foothold in the afterlife; and is based on the premise that “while our body sleeps our dream state symbolically represents the state that awaits upon our body's ultimate rest.”
In other words, while we are lying down and sleeping/dreaming, this natural process symbolizes where we go when we're ultimately lying down/dead -to a place like our dream-state...A state "of mind” with our body's physical form+Earthly bonds eternally engrained and intertwined.
✋🏻💫👁️~8~👁️💫🤚🏿
Ah shit. I my first reaction to problems is to make a joke. Does that mean i have a touch of the C.H.A.D. in me?! Love the pod, keep up the fantastic banter
I think calling your partner my other half is probably better because you're a whole together and she's or he is the other half
The biggest food I can't eat because of texture is the type of baguette that has a really hard and crunchy crust, or any bread with that kind of hard crust. When I was a child, my mom would buy that type of bread for sandwiches and I would often cut the inside of my mouth on the sharp crust. Now just the thought of eating that type of bread makes me feel like I'm chewing glass. I also don't like boba, because I don't like feeling that gummy/chewy texture while I'm drinking. It just feels wrong.
Olives. And yes Kelsey, oysters!
They are the most vile food ever!
I can't eat any sort of pie except pumpkin due to mushy texture of cherry, apple or such pies
I don’t think Chad is a pessimist at all, overall. I mean idk I think it’s a bit of an insult to be honest. I think a pessimist is someone who is ALWAYS negative. I’d say Chad is a realist. The two can get get close to each other.
Anyone know the dude on the right? Is he a comedian or something like that?
I know i love watching you interact with Mia and her big green eyes so much love 😂❤