"This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They're the pale, spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait, that's you in five seconds. Good luck."
"Here comes the fat idiot, ordering their fifth bucket of chicken, I'm surprised really, they'd be dead by now, I guess it's because they're genetically engineered to sustain that much food so that they'd be so fat they could be used as a meat shield against bullets"
and Chell would reply with this: " and your a waste of PCB that's exactly what it says on your file a waste of PCB and wires,and I was testing for that!"
Haha, "I'll add a few zeros to the maximum capacity." - beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep - "oh and by the way you are looking very healthy." LOL
The funniest thing is that when Wheatley tries to insult Chell by calling her fat, GLaDOS calls him out like she never did the same before... THE NERVE
"Remember when I was talking about wet smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was really talking about you. That is why I had to call you wet smelly garbage a second time just now. Else, this apology would have seemed useless" She is absolutely hilarious
"That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You just didn't react at the time so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane! That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now." Also same I also love GlaDOS.
"I was was researching sharks for an upcoming test, do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? ... Did you guess sharks? Because that is wrong. The correct answer is nobody. Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel." so fucking great.
"I honestly, truly didn't think you would fall for that. In fact, I had a much more elaborate trap further ahead in case you got past this easy one. If I had know you would let yourself get captured this easily I would've just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling."
"Look at you... sailing through the air majestically! Like an eagle! ...piloting a blimp." GladOS needs to be a professor in the Los Santos institute of Roastology.
2:23 Is probably the best example of a thoroughly designed level. Because you aren't just simply solving the puzzle whilst listening to GLADOS's insults, but letting GLADOS insult you before you solve the puzzle.
The "Glados energy shutdown and cake dispensary" door was the funniest thing I've ever seen in any game while I was playing this. It took me forever to figure out what to shoot a portal on and when I figured it out and read the sigh I was like wtf? But it was just Glados insulting you again.
note that Glados didn't roast you in the first game when she had the cores on her. This suggest she was always like this, and the cores just kept her from roasting you as a side effect.
@@zerocrashmurilo / I thought about that too, but when she lowers the ceiling, your jump (that will go across the portals) is a lot more high than before. I think she was just keeping to make it malfunction
@@CourtneyIsLovely and fed to birds. I would film that just so I can torture her and make fun of her as a potato while coming up with potato related puns and jokes.
You've obviously never heard Gordon say: "You really do surprise me" "Thank you chef, I was hoping you'd notice that; I gave you a hundred n' ten." "... You suprise me on how shit you are."
"Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud nois"-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK "Oh. i`m sorry. i don`t know how that came on."
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your Damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
You forgot later on, when Chell is taking PoTaDOS through Wheatley's test chambers, where Wheatley insults Chell for being adopted, and GLaDOS says, "and...what? What's wrong with being adopted? (Whispers) You ARE adopted, by the way, and that's TERRIBLE, but just work with me here. She also says later "Maybe you DO have brain damage" if you go back when Wheatley asks you to at the beginning of "The Part Where He Kills You" And, of course, at the end: "You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. And then YOU showed up. You dangerous, mute, lunatic." Plus, bonus point if you find the insult in "Now I Only Want You Gone"
The line about the sharks is really interesting. To GLaDOS, she was only doing her job and it was really unfair for her to be killed because of it. She was programmed for that, so she doesn't understand that people would try to do this to her. After all, the point of the tests is clearly to kill people in a cruel and painful way. I mean, at some point they recorded the death of test subjects and sold the video to their families. So...
"I figured out what I'm going to do with all the money I save recycling your one room full of air. When you die, I'll have your skeleton laminated and posed in the lobby. That way future generations can learn how to not have your unfortunate bone structure." has stuck with me since the day this game came out. I actually have a tiny bone deformity in my hand so it made me laugh so hard I choked on my own spit.
My boyfriend suggested we play the coop without me knowing glados or anything about the game and then she started insulting and I was like "BISH YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!" I can tell you my boyfriend died laughing and was happy that I finally got some taste of my own poison since I'm also slightly sarcastic.....YET I'M A BABY KITTEN COMPARED TO GLADOS... RESPECT TO THE SCRIPT WRITERS, also I finished the story mode in one day, really love the game but still had my moments where I couldn't help but call glados a bitch and had my boyfriend smirk right next to me and go "ahhh this is so satisfying to watch, how does it feel to be in my shoes?????"
I remember playing portal 2 high asf while GLaDOs was insulting me during the test chambers - I actually wound up crying and I stopped playing for a few days. GLaDOs now holds a special place in my soul
Same I’d pay good money just to make GladOS become an actual google assistant type app that you could download where it just verbally abuses you in GladOS’s voice that would be hilarious if valve made that a thing
Dank 'n Derpy Gamer what does that mean? God dammit it’s been 11 years, If she’s gonna pull fat and adopted jokes shit, Then there should be a video telling us what they mean!
“I’ll give you credit, I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record , you don’t have to go THAT slowly. Waddle over to the elevator and we’ll continue the testing.”
I would do it to a misbehaving child and call their parents and then I would say “you’re birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up.“ Lol.
Me: *making over a million efforts to travel around the whole world and coming back to Glados* Glados: here comes the results…you are a horrible person
"Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp" Comeback one: well atleast if tbe engine stop working ill just float back down to earth Glados: You are already on earth, but i see whatt your putting down: anyway lets continue
“A medical degree....in fashion...from France!” That always gets me
Gets me too
Thought it said friends instead of France.
MILAN, darling... Milan.
Or how Glados roast you while calling you Ugly !
I love how catty GLaDOS is in this game :)
"This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They're the pale, spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait, that's you in five seconds. Good luck."
What does that mean?
@@mrfoxfam_doesstuff6252 She's calling her fat... and she'll be shot full of bullets
Oh.
Savage
She IS very pale, round, and she was about to be full of bullets.
I wish GLaDOS could narrate my life
Same
1183314 So true xD
Would be quick.
No you don’t
"Here comes the fat idiot, ordering their fifth bucket of chicken, I'm surprised really, they'd be dead by now, I guess it's because they're genetically engineered to sustain that much food so that they'd be so fat they could be used as a meat shield against bullets"
"Science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep."
Damn. Damnnnn. *D A M N N N N N.*
On today's standards:
*Slams Portal Gun on the floor*
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
@@bjap1563 GLaDOS: "Congratulations. You broke the portal device."
I know who you are
Don’t think I give a damn
It will come o
Glados passive aggressive insults should be considered a form of art..
...I could honestly listen to glados insult me all day.
yes
kinky
Masochist
Ayo 🤨📸
I wish Glados insulted me more
I like to think GLaDOS made that aerial faith plate malfunction purposefully just so she could call Chell fat.
I'd say it's the ceiling part. It align the rest of the ceiling after she lowered it.
jiang jiang ...ok
...generous...ness...
If you'll notice, the ceiling is too hugh for the surrounding ceiling. she didn't finish assembling the test just so she could call chell fat.
Yeah, and Wheatley straight up calls her fat to feel better.
(just another point differentiating the intelligence level)
The only person I want to be insulted by is GLaDOS.
platinum animator *insulted. Unless you want her to keep you warm.
Same
*I N S U L A T E D*
It’s amazing that you think it’s a good idea to use Snapchat for your RUclips account
Gordon Ramsay has creative insults
"you are a horrible person. that's what it says. we weren't even testing for that!"
and Chell would reply with this: " and your a waste of PCB that's exactly what it says on your file a waste of PCB and wires,and I was testing for that!"
@@gamepad3173 Cringe
Haha, "I'll add a few zeros to the maximum capacity." - beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep - "oh and by the way you are looking very healthy."
LOL
Alistor from Hazbin Hotel: I Think You Just Passively Aggressively called me Fat!
She calls you fat so many times throughout the testing
GLaDOS: *insults Chell about being fat*
Also GLaDOS: *Is literally 30 times larger then Chell*
LMAO
She's just big wired, That's all.
Well she compares you with your equals.
The funniest thing is that when Wheatley tries to insult Chell by calling her fat, GLaDOS calls him out like she never did the same before... THE NERVE
@@eduardovieira303 Maybe her "Potato" brain forgot
"this plate must not be calibrated for someone of your... Generous...ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight limit."
*adds eight 0's* you look great, by the way. Very healthy.
my favorite insult lmao
@@guilhermefarias5255 Really 8? I heard 7.
How to call someone PHAT with extra roast
"Remember when I was talking about wet smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was really talking about you. That is why I had to call you wet smelly garbage a second time just now. Else, this apology would have seemed useless"
She is absolutely hilarious
cameron schiralli chell got roasted
Or this apology would've sounded insane* (I played this 50 times I remember)
"That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You just didn't react at the time so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane! That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now."
Also same I also love GlaDOS.
"I was was researching sharks for an upcoming test, do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? ... Did you guess sharks? Because that is wrong. The correct answer is nobody. Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel." so fucking great.
And I admit, me too. I murdered people who were trying to help me. So me and her are even.
@@glados3198 I was about to say "hol up" until I saw your username
@@trollege9618 right.... I love role playing as FLaDOS on the Internet lol (please don’t read this in her voice.., please)
hits different after the portal 2 ending tho :(
“Well done. In fact you did so well, I’m going to note this on your file. In the commendation section. ‘Did...well...
...enough.’”
"oh, there's a lot of space..."
"That was genuinely mildly impressive".
"I honestly, truly didn't think you would fall for that.
In fact, I had a much more elaborate trap further ahead in case you got past this easy one.
If I had know you would let yourself get captured this easily I would've just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling."
my favorite one
"Look at you... sailing through the air majestically! Like an eagle! ...piloting a blimp."
GladOS needs to be a professor in the Los Santos institute of Roastology.
The moment u realize glad0s is really our sarcastic selves but in bot form
I would self destruct if I was you
I thought i saw an error in your mother's programming.
I’m like glados-
Except more funny and clever
GLaDOS is still pretty angry at Chell for killing her and it shows.
'Pretty'
So if you were dead for at absolutely MINIMALLY a few days and you had to watch yourself die, you'd probably be angry
i dont think she is angry anymore at the end of portal 2, she just "wants her gone"
You forgot about that part in "want you gone"
"She was a lot like you, maybe not quite as heavy"
2:23 Is probably the best example of a thoroughly designed level. Because you aren't just simply solving the puzzle whilst listening to GLADOS's insults, but letting GLADOS insult you before you solve the puzzle.
The "Glados energy shutdown and cake dispensary" door was the funniest thing I've ever seen in any game while I was playing this. It took me forever to figure out what to shoot a portal on and when I figured it out and read the sigh I was like wtf? But it was just Glados insulting you again.
What the fuck is that pfp
She manages to make it all feel _really_ personal. Good god. Don't piss her off!
Or... y'know...
kill her.
generous....ness
I’ll add a few zeros to the maximum weight. You look great by the way. Very healthy.
"you look great by the way.. very healthy"*
Glados's smooth voice ♥
note that Glados didn't roast you in the first game when she had the cores on her. This suggest she was always like this, and the cores just kept her from roasting you as a side effect.
Nah she's just pissed because Chell killed her in the first game.
She’s 80% corrupt. That has a few implications.
@@Mrbluefire95 Perhaps that was the system detecting Caroline. We do know that Caroline can take control but isn't exactly "there."
@@Mrbluefire95i honestly feel like that was just plot convienence, wheatley literally had no plan of what to do next
the player's pause reaction to every insult feels so naturally offended and i love it
I just love how she keeps calling you fat, it’s so petty and I love it.
GladOS’s passive aggressiveness is the best part of the game every single line she says in this game is pure gold
waddle over to the elevator so we can continue testingXD
“a MeDiCal DEGreE....In fashion...frOM FRANCE!” THat ALWAYS geTS Me
I like how GLaDOS is unaware of her own hypocrisy
Either she knows and just doesn't care at all, or she's doing it on purpose to annoy Chell even more.
The best parts imo are those, where GLaDOS calls Chell fat especially the part with broken aerial faith plate :D
Chell seems pretty fit. If she breaks that thing I can't even imagine what my weight will do to it.
@@henrikaleksandernilsen6388 GLaDOS made the plate malfunction so she could call you fat, throughout the entire test chamber
Amber DragonQueen either that or the ceiling was way too high since when it’s lowered it aligns with the facility
@@zerocrashmurilo / I thought about that too, but when she lowers the ceiling, your jump (that will go across the portals) is a lot more high than before. I think she was just keeping to make it malfunction
@@chaosprism144 oh yeah that's fair
GladOs probably has a room full of supercomputer dedicated to generating such SICK BURNS.
Glados is the only person who I'll gladly let insult me
【 Echo 】
Fine by me
Yea same
【 Echo 】 but hey
At least you keep your word on somtimes commenting on random youtube video
The parts of Portal 2 without GLaDOS: Alright
The parts of Portal 2 with GLaDOS: Fucking amazing
Watching this in 2020. I forgot how brutal GLaDOS is
Ikr, she's a savage 🤣
Let's give your parents a call. lol what glados says next is hilarious.
"The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up"
“Oh that’s sad... but impressive! Maybe they worked at the phone company.”
That was so savage XD
GLaDOS: the Ariel faith plate in here is sending a distress signal. you broke it, didn't you.
This video should be titled "GLaDOS calls you FAT in 100000 different ways"
"Waddle on over" killed me
GLaDOS: The ultimate roast bot.
GLaDOS punishment: potato
@@CourtneyIsLovely and fed to birds. I would film that just so I can torture her and make fun of her as a potato while coming up with potato related puns and jokes.
I want to see who is the real insult lord
Gorden Ramsey or Glados
Glados would make Gordon cry in 4 seconds lets be honest
because gordon just swears around in anger
but glados drags your entire existence
Glados wins
GLaDOS is.
You've obviously never heard Gordon say:
"You really do surprise me"
"Thank you chef, I was hoping you'd notice that; I gave you a hundred n' ten."
"... You suprise me on how shit you are."
@@AVGyerra22 1:43
0:25 wow, *thanks GLaDOS :’)*
Can I have glad0s pls to narrate the people I hate
JulieG Vlogs Please*
Can I have GLaDOS pls to narrate me?
"Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud nois"-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK "Oh. i`m sorry. i don`t know how that came on."
GLaDOS. The only robot that you like to insult you.
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your Damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Glados sounds like she is doing... ummm... a thing in that scene.
OH I LIKE THIS MAN
Yes Mr. Johnson
YEAH BURN HIS HIUSE DOWN! HE’S SAYING WHAT WE’RE ALL THINKING!!
Yeah!
YEAH!
yEaH!
oOooOoO I like this guy!
Is it weird that I'm watching this for inspiration at 2 in the morning?
Hahahhaa You And me both
You forgot later on, when Chell is taking PoTaDOS through Wheatley's test chambers, where Wheatley insults Chell for being adopted, and GLaDOS says, "and...what? What's wrong with being adopted? (Whispers) You ARE adopted, by the way, and that's TERRIBLE, but just work with me here.
She also says later "Maybe you DO have brain damage" if you go back when Wheatley asks you to at the beginning of "The Part Where He Kills You"
And, of course, at the end:
"You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
And then YOU showed up. You dangerous, mute, lunatic."
Plus, bonus point if you find the insult in "Now I Only Want You Gone"
@@CrypticCelestii you got it, my dude/dudette
GLaDOS is the most creative bully ever
2:09 "Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noise-" NEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Goddamn, GLaDOS.
Glados is just a personification of all our intrusive thoughts and body image issues 😂😂
GLaDOS : Calls Chell fat
Wheatley : also calls Chell fat
GLaDOS : realizes Wheatley is stupid
Also GLaDOS : Chell is not fat
Difference is, Glados builds up her insults, Wheatley just uses pre school insults
More like Wheatley is dumb, since morons are dumb and idiots are stupid.
Player: Roast me
Glados: my creator told me not to burn trash
Player: ?
Glados: eh *drops player into fire pit* my creator isn’t here
The caliper plate breaking over and over again due to Chell's "weight." 😂🤣
The line about the sharks is really interesting. To GLaDOS, she was only doing her job and it was really unfair for her to be killed because of it. She was programmed for that, so she doesn't understand that people would try to do this to her. After all, the point of the tests is clearly to kill people in a cruel and painful way.
I mean, at some point they recorded the death of test subjects and sold the video to their families. So...
there's probably someone getting off to this video as we're speaking ;-;
It’s me. Hi, how are ya?
"I figured out what I'm going to do with all the money I save recycling your one room full of air. When you die, I'll have your skeleton laminated and posed in the lobby. That way future generations can learn how to not have your unfortunate bone structure." has stuck with me since the day this game came out. I actually have a tiny bone deformity in my hand so it made me laugh so hard I choked on my own spit.
My boyfriend suggested we play the coop without me knowing glados or anything about the game and then she started insulting and I was like "BISH YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!" I can tell you my boyfriend died laughing and was happy that I finally got some taste of my own poison since I'm also slightly sarcastic.....YET I'M A BABY KITTEN COMPARED TO GLADOS... RESPECT TO THE SCRIPT WRITERS, also I finished the story mode in one day, really love the game but still had my moments where I couldn't help but call glados a bitch and had my boyfriend smirk right next to me and go "ahhh this is so satisfying to watch, how does it feel to be in my shoes?????"
I remember playing portal 2 high asf while GLaDOs was insulting me during the test chambers - I actually wound up crying and I stopped playing for a few days. GLaDOs now holds a special place in my soul
Aint no way 😭😭
This is fucking great
Forget Cortana. I want GLaDOS on my computer. I want to be emotionally abused every time I ask to Google something or whatever.
not even I would give two fucks.
Same I’d pay good money just to make GladOS become an actual google assistant type app that you could download where it just verbally abuses you in GladOS’s voice that would be hilarious if valve made that a thing
3:21 "Look at you, sailing through the air majestically like an eagle... piloting a blimp."
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
#Savage
Dank 'n Derpy Gamer please tell me this is ironic
Dank 'n Derpy Gamer what does that mean? God dammit it’s been 11 years, If she’s gonna pull fat and adopted jokes shit, Then there should be a video telling us what they mean!
@@dagda9773 it was 2 years ago
Almost every single voice line from GLaDOS cracks me up every time.
1:42 NOOOooooo you didn't carry around the trash to get the other insult!
what did GLaDOS say
Her voice is oddly relaxing.
im glad im not the only one. i thought i was just being weird
How can I feel bad being insulted by her when her insults are so damn great
I evny that level of salty wit.
I like how for the first few levels all she talks about is various insults regarding the fact that you killed her.
As someone who watches a lot of these, i think this one has the best insults
I want Valve to publish a phone, with Glados as the digital assistant!
portal 2, except it speeds up everytime GLaDOS insults chell
The game would be like, 15 minutes long.
Who else took notes?
It seems that I missed the opportunity to take notes on this lesson of sarcasm
Did you know that people with guilty conscience are easily startled by loud nois... (loud train noise) I'm sorry, I don't know why that went off..
3:23 the german version is much better
In german she says "Just see how you sail through the air. Like an eagle. A big FAT eagle"
Years later
I still love this robot
GlaDOS is a fucking monster with her roasts!
5:17 the confetti though 😂
Yup she really tricked chell there
I might just use some of these.
I'm overweight and I loved the realistic personal attacks about my figure it added to the immersion lol
I’m pretty sure if she was to narrate my life, she’d run out of insults, and would just sits there recalibrating 🥺😭 XD
When I heard her launch insults at me, she triggered my 'kill and Execute' response and i choked my webcam.
7 beeps. That's how many sounded when she was "adding zeroes"
4:45 ismy favorite
*We weren't even testing for that*
Legit every single character that talks in this game is a certified comedian
The fat jokes were a pleasant surprise when I played this, never expected them.
Aww... i wish i was a teacher so i could after a test say to my students "you are a horrible person" :P
Choson Choson "we weren't even testing for that."
“Congratulations. Not on the test most people emerge from suspension incredibly under nursed yet you managed to pack on a few pounds”
“I’ll give you credit, I guess you ARE listening to me. But for the record , you don’t have to go THAT slowly. Waddle over to the elevator and we’ll continue the testing.”
I would do it to a misbehaving child and call their parents and then I would say “you’re birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up.“ Lol.
4:12 cracks me up everytime.
I said hi to Wheatley when he appeared in screen xD
Same even know it turns out he’s a villain too in the end he’s still cute with his little British accent
Working at a bigass factory nigh turn to just go home 3am and smoke a bigass joint and wander aperture science was a pretty amazing stage of my life.
GLaDoS my sarcastic savage waifu 😘 having fun roasting chell
What?
Ok that's enough
Bro, you just posted cringe.
Devon Crusader fuck you
@Devon Crusader stfu
I love her sense of humor :D
Roasts.
The packing on a few ibs bit had me doubling over😂
Me: *making over a million efforts to travel around the whole world and coming back to Glados*
Glados: here comes the results…you are a horrible person
I guess killing someone doesn’t give them the best impression of you to them
I love how Chell is being roasted by a robot
You wouldn't call GLaDOS a "passive-aggressive bucket of bolts," right?
oh I would and in a heart beat.
Medical degree in fashion....I seriously can't this is hilarious
"Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp"
Comeback one: well atleast if tbe engine stop working ill just float back down to earth
Glados: You are already on earth, but i see whatt your putting down: anyway lets continue
This insults are extremly funny. Love the first one :)))